1 00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,800 You are listening to the loving B D S M podcast, Kayla Lord's Here're, the one, 2 00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:17,080 the only, the thank God you're patient with me, John Brownstone. 3 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,920 . I try. 4 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:21,473 I appreciate it. 5 00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:24,280 And it tries my patience, but I try. 6 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,800 One of us, one of us has to be patient in this relationship. , 7 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,760 we know it's not me, so I'm glad it's you. Uh, 8 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:34,360 this week we're doing the first of a thing we said we were gonna do, uh, 9 00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:38,840 we're gonna start answering single questions in shorter episodes. 10 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,400 This is the first one. Uh, 11 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:44,280 we are answering a question about somebody who is looking for their first 12 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,680 dominant partner after a rough vanilla breakup. Mm. 13 00:00:49,230 --> 00:00:53,400 Welcome to the Loving B D S M podcast. If you didn't know who we are, hi. 14 00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:56,720 We help Kister like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships, 15 00:00:56,900 --> 00:01:01,280 and we do that by all kinds of ways. But also in this episode, 16 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,000 by answering your questions , 17 00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:05,640 you can add the podcast to your favorite podcast app so you never miss an 18 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,240 episode. And if you'd like us to answer your question in an upcoming episode, 19 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,880 we have a contact page called Ask Your Questions on our website and in the show 20 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:17,880 notes for this episode. Okay. So let's get into this. Okay. 21 00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:20,160 This is the question We mm-hmm. received recently. 22 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:25,280 I recently got out of a long-term very vanilla relationship that was virtually 23 00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:26,123 non-sexual. 24 00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:29,880 I'm now looking for a dominant who can be strong and lead me while I go through 25 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,560 this new period of change in my life, 26 00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:36,080 but I'm feeling anxious about opening up that much vulnerability after a rough 27 00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:37,800 breakup. What do I do? 28 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:43,800 Hmm. Well, I, first thing that kind of comes to my mind, 29 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,720 I would say, you know, start attending munches. Mm-hmm. 30 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:51,080 for one thing to, to meet people. And I, 31 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,600 I would say don't go looking for a relationship. 32 00:01:56,870 --> 00:02:00,840 Look for a friend. Okay. Um, you know, I, 33 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,040 I know to some that may sound funny, 34 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:07,720 but to start out as friends allows you to build yourself 35 00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:11,000 to being able to be vulnerable again. And. 36 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,480 Also to figure out if this is a person who's worthy of your vulnerability. 37 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:15,240 Correct. Like. 38 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,760 Correct. Get to know somebody on a level that doesn't have the pressure of, oh, 39 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,480 you're Dom, I'm sub mm-hmm. , 40 00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:26,160 we have to negotiate this power exchange. Make sure you like their personality, 41 00:02:26,270 --> 00:02:27,720 that you like them as a human being, 42 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,160 that you would want to spend time with them. Yes. 43 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,480 That they are a person that you feel like you could confide in. 44 00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,040 You won't always get it right. 45 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,400 You're gonna come across people who taught good game and say all the right 46 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,800 things, and then you find out later, oh, they weren't who they said they were. 47 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:46,320 Mm-hmm. . But especially after going through a rough breakup, 48 00:02:47,170 --> 00:02:50,200 especially with being new to this. Like, 49 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:55,120 please take your time and go as slow as possible now for new submissives. 50 00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:58,440 And it happens to experience submissives who are getting into a new 51 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:03,320 relationship, but for new submissives, uh, sub frenzy is a very real thing. 52 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:04,200 Mm-hmm. , um, 53 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:07,160 we will link to that in the places where we've talked about that in the past. 54 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:10,600 But in a nutshell, it's the, uh, 55 00:03:10,910 --> 00:03:13,600 extreme excitement to finally submit. 56 00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:18,320 And the excitement is at such a level that you sort of forget all 57 00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:19,760 self-protective measures. 58 00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:23,680 You make decisions that are not necessarily in your best interest out of the 59 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:28,560 desire and desperation to submit to anyone, whether they're, you know, 60 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,600 waving red flags or not. Mm-hmm. . Um, 61 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:35,080 sometimes it can mean making decisions that even if the partner is not a bad 62 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,280 person, they're a good person, 63 00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:39,920 but you're still making decisions that go against your own self-interest and are 64 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:44,320 not necessarily good for you. Um, so be, that's something to be careful of. 65 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:48,720 That's another reason to go slow. Get to know a person, even if you, 66 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:53,400 if it's online and not necessarily in real life at a munch or a community event. 67 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:56,080 Mm-hmm. , if, you know, if you find online community, 68 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:59,880 you can do this as well. Get to know them, take it slow. Right. 69 00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:03,520 Make sure they're a person that you feel comfortable with. 70 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:08,560 And then if you get to the point where you feel ready to be vulnerable with 71 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,800 them, you still start slow there as well. 72 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,480 I think that part of what happens for folks who realize they're kinky, 73 00:04:14,740 --> 00:04:17,160 who realize, okay, I've just finished this vanilla relationship. 74 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:21,280 I want my next relationship to be kinky to be a power exchange. 75 00:04:22,270 --> 00:04:25,680 They imagine the end goal. So you've gone from, okay, 76 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,960 this last relationship ended horribly. 77 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,960 I know the picture I have in my head of what I want, 78 00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:33,840 and instead of envisioning that, 79 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,640 and I can understand if you are also an impatient person, 80 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:38,080 why this would be hard to envision, 81 00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:43,000 but instead of envisioning this as a very long path from where you're at now to 82 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,120 where you're trying to get, uh, I think a lot of people go, that's what I want. 83 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:50,160 And so they imagine the whole thing all neatly wrapped up, 84 00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,800 the negotiated power exchange, their role is a submissive, 85 00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:57,400 all the 10 or 11 million things they're gonna do. Right? Yeah. Instead of going, 86 00:04:57,470 --> 00:05:00,120 okay, let's talk about this as a, okay, 87 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:03,200 let me maybe go learn about kink on my own first. Right. 88 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:05,840 Let me just meet somebody and see if I like them as a person. 89 00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:07,400 Let me take this slow. 90 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:11,280 And, and that's something that, that had come to my mind in this too. I mean, 91 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:14,600 they don't really say in there whether they are, you know, a, 92 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,840 a submissive looking for a power exchange or if they're a masochist, you know, 93 00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:23,480 looking for, for a sadist or a combination of the two. Um, 94 00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:24,360 or. 95 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:24,680 Any other. 96 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,120 Combination or any other combination, you know, because there, it, it's, 97 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,720 it's such a spectrum. But at any rate, you know, 98 00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:36,800 one of the things I was thinking to, to mirror what you said about, you know, 99 00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:39,480 going to different workshops, 100 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:44,280 whether it's virtual in person to learn more about kink, um, you know, you're, 101 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:47,760 you're new to this and, and I understand, you know, 102 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:52,200 to say you want thinking about a relationship, but at the same time, 103 00:05:52,730 --> 00:05:56,600 maybe think about having a, a top bottom. Okay. 104 00:05:56,740 --> 00:06:01,520 So that way you can try different things and, and not have the pressure of, 105 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:04,480 you know, looking for a relationship. You know, 106 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,720 find a play partner where you can explore. 107 00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:08,600 And that's one element. 108 00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:11,840 The other element is if you are submissive and you're looking for a power 109 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:16,480 exchange, before you go off to search out the dominant of your hopeful dreams, 110 00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:20,560 go learn about submission and what it you think it means to you. Mm-hmm. 111 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:20,640 , 112 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,760 and I say what you think it means to you because there will be the vision you 113 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:28,120 have in your head, your understanding of it based on your solo, um, 114 00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:31,880 exploration. And then there will be the reality of, oh, 115 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:36,360 this is another human being that I am negotiating with and we are compromising 116 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,920 with and we are cooperating with, 117 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,640 and we are figuring out what works for both of us. 118 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,240 And those can sometimes be slightly different things. Mm-hmm. . 119 00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:45,960 So instead of maybe worrying about getting into that first relationship, 120 00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:50,840 spend some time learning about what it means to be a submissive, a bottom, 121 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,360 a masochist a, whatever, 122 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:58,280 however you think you might identify whatever kinks and parts of B D Ss M appeal 123 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:02,160 to you. Spend some time learning about that on your own. One, 124 00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:06,680 it will allow you to get to know people without the pressure of a relationship. 125 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:10,720 If you go to online workshops or in-person workshops or classes or whatever, 126 00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:11,780 two, 127 00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:16,440 it will give you an idea of who you think you might be within kink and who you'd 128 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,200 like to be and what you'd like to experience. 129 00:07:18,420 --> 00:07:20,800 So that when you start having conversations with people, 130 00:07:20,970 --> 00:07:23,160 especially potential doms or tops, 131 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,560 you have a better idea in that conversation of what you're looking for. 132 00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:31,400 It makes it easier to weeded out people who aren't necessarily the right 133 00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:35,280 fit for you. It also can increase your confidence. It it, 134 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,880 from my experience, 135 00:07:37,660 --> 00:07:42,000 the more well-informed a potential ster is, 136 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:45,400 even if they haven't gotten to have any, you know, re air quote, 137 00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:48,600 real life mm-hmm. , um, practice at it. 138 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,640 The more you understand about yourself and kink, 139 00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:57,240 the easier it can sometimes be to see through the fakes, the posers, 140 00:07:57,260 --> 00:08:01,120 the people who just know a few words and aren't looking for what you're looking 141 00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:04,080 for or aren't real, or whatever. It just, 142 00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:07,120 it's overall . Mm-hmm. , 143 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:10,600 the more you can learn before you even worry about jumping into a relationship, 144 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,920 I think the better off you're going to be. 145 00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:17,760 Yeah. I mean, this is kind of putting it in a nutshell, but, 146 00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:20,480 you know, learn about yourself, 147 00:08:20,790 --> 00:08:25,360 what you want out of kink, what you can offer a partner, 148 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:29,200 and then when you're looking for somebody for a relationship, 149 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,040 what they can offer you and how that fits. 150 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,680 And when you can do that, 151 00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:38,360 and when you can get to know yourself and you can hopefully grow your own 152 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,193 confidence. 153 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:44,240 I'm not gonna say it's not scary to be vulnerable with a new person. Mm-hmm. 154 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:44,320 , 155 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:48,880 especially if you've gone through a bad breakup or you've had some not great 156 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:49,650 relationships, 157 00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:53,040 especially where maybe either you weren't allowed to be vulnerable or your 158 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:56,000 vulnerability was weaponized against you. Those are, are very real things, 159 00:08:56,420 --> 00:09:01,160 but it can make it easier to figure out or to decide, 160 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:05,000 is this person worth it? Is this a person I want mm-hmm. 161 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:05,920 to be vulnerable with. 162 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,800 Partly because if you go into looking for any kink partner, 163 00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:12,720 but speaking specifically to submissives here, submissives. 164 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,000 If you go into kink going, 165 00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,480 I'm just looking for a dom and I don't know anything else. 166 00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:22,240 There are some bad actors out there who will say literally anything that sounds 167 00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:26,520 kind of right and kind of makes you go, Ooh, that sounds sexy, that sounds fun. 168 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:28,520 And they're dangerous. That can be. 169 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:29,680 A recipe for disaster. 170 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:30,240 Yeah. Right. 171 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:35,000 And then any trust you might've had in the process of finding the right 172 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,520 partner for you is, you know, you're 10 steps back at that point, 173 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:43,440 because now you have to work through whatever that situation was 174 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,960 and whatever that situation did for you. So my personal advice, 175 00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:50,240 when you know your kinky know, you want a kinky partner, 176 00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:52,760 know maybe specifically that you want a power exchange, 177 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:57,080 but especially when you're coming off of a bad breakup or any kind of breakup or 178 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,200 you're just new to it, is take your sweet ass time, 179 00:10:00,990 --> 00:10:04,040 slow the hell down and focus on you. 180 00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:07,080 Focus on your education, your wants, your needs. 181 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:10,320 If you don't know what they are, this is a great time to figure them out. 182 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:14,400 That's true. And in getting to know people, don't worry about, 183 00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:16,440 is this person gonna be my next dom? 184 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,520 Is this a person I'm gonna get into a relationship with? 185 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:23,280 Take the time to figure out, do I like this person? And if it wasn't for kink, 186 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,160 would I be willing to hang out with them? Right. 187 00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:29,360 And sometimes that's enough information for you to go, okay, no, 188 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,240 they're not even somebody I would want to get coffee with. Yeah. , 189 00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:37,280 let alone get on my knees for Right . Like, yeah. I think that's a, 190 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,560 that's a good starting point. After that, 191 00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:44,040 once you've spent that time on yourself and you've gotten to know people as 192 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:47,760 friends, then it's a matter of just taking it slow at any point. 193 00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:50,920 If you are too scared to be that vulnerable, 194 00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:53,160 that probably means you're not quite ready. 195 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:55,280 The right person for you is gonna wait for you. 196 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,680 I say this from experience , 197 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:03,480 JB and I met right as I was going through my very first ever and better be 198 00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,840 my only DSS breakup. 199 00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:09,240 And I thought my heart had shattered into a million pieces. 200 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,800 I didn't want a relationship. I wasn't looking to submit to anybody. 201 00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:15,960 And he kind of rocked up and was just friendly. 202 00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:19,480 He wasn't looking for anything either. Mm-hmm. We started out as friends. 203 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:24,600 We did some power exchange things outside of a 204 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:28,280 romantic relationship. Right. It wasn't even sexual. Uh, for us, 205 00:11:28,810 --> 00:11:30,760 power exchange and sex are kind, they, 206 00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:34,600 they are part and parcel with one another. That's not true for everybody. Um, 207 00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,013 and I, 208 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:41,120 my heart knew I was in love with him and could probably tell him anything 209 00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:43,200 well before my brain did. 210 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:47,320 And so I stopped myself a lot from being vulnerable. 211 00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:51,640 And this man fucking waited. He waited, he worked, he kept, 212 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:55,480 he didn't even work hard. He just, just kept being who he was and showing up, 213 00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:59,920 showing up and being real and being vulnerable with me. 214 00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:02,160 And the more he was vulnerable with me, 215 00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:06,960 the more I learned I could be vulnerable with him. And it took months. 216 00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:10,320 And that was okay because he was willing to wait for that. 217 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:12,760 He thought I was worth it. And clearly, 218 00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:16,440 some part of me that was not talking to the other part of me thought so too. 219 00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:19,720 And now we're here 10 years later, not without our problems, 220 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,280 not without some shit that's gone down. 221 00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:23,480 Nothing, nothing is ever perfect. 222 00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:26,880 Of course not. No. But he wanted to be with, 223 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,240 once he realized he wanted to be with me, 224 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,960 he wanted to be with me enough that he was willing to wait for me to catch up. 225 00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:36,080 And the more he kept showing up and being the person he said he was, 226 00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:40,600 the more I could allow myself to be vulnerable over time. 227 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:44,320 But that was not a, I met him on a Monday, 228 00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:46,360 and by Tuesday I thought I had to tell him everything. 229 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:50,400 As we negotiated a power exchange, this was weeks and months in the making. 230 00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:54,640 And every once in a while you catch lightning in a bottle and you meet somebody 231 00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:57,840 and you just know. But those are the exceptions, not the rule. 232 00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:01,720 And especially when you've been through bad breakups or just bad relationships, 233 00:13:01,820 --> 00:13:04,960 or you're, you're, and especially when you're new to kink, 234 00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,000 please take your time. 235 00:13:07,380 --> 00:13:11,240 Please let somebody work hard to earn your trust. 236 00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:17,120 That is not gonna save you from all heartbreak. It's not gonna, 237 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:20,080 you know, prevent problems from happening. 238 00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:24,000 It's not gonna ensure that you have a perfect power exchange, 239 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:29,480 but it's gonna help you get to where you need to be on your own time. 240 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:35,200 And ultimately, that tends to lead to better outcomes. Yeah. So, yeah, 241 00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:37,360 that's what we think you should do, , 242 00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:41,000 go meet people and get to know them as friends. 243 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:44,760 Learn, understand yourself. Mm-hmm. 244 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,680 , do some self-exploration. Mm-hmm. , 245 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:51,240 and then take your damn time. Yep. Please take your damn time, . 246 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,880 And, and have fun with it. 247 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:54,680 Yes. It shouldn't, 248 00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:58,120 whether it's finding a power exchange partner or getting kinky for the first 249 00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,440 time. The thing I, 250 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,400 I don't think people ought to feel is pressure to go get it all done. 251 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:06,800 Like we're checking things off of a to-do list. No, this is play. It's sexy, 252 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,400 kinky, taboo play, but it is play and it ought to be fun. 253 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:15,160 So Ella agrees as she meows in the background. , 254 00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:18,680 have fun. Thanks for listening to this week's q and a episode. 255 00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:20,320 If you want us to answer one of your questions, 256 00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:23,840 just use the contact page on our website@lovingbdsm.net, 257 00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:26,760 or you can find the link in the show notes. Big thanks as always, 258 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,520 to our kinky community over on Patreon, 259 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:32,440 we're able to do this podcast and keep it going and help kinks do to your 260 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,220 support. 261 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:36,480 If you'd like to be part of our community and get access to extra content and a 262 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,960 Discord server with a group of super cool, super nice kinks, you can do that. 263 00:14:40,150 --> 00:14:42,680 Just join us at patreon.com/kayla lords. 264 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:46,720 That's patreon.com/kayla lords. Or use the link in the show notes.