1 00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:14,200 You're listening to the Loving B D S M podcast, episode 360 2. 2 00:00:14,370 --> 00:00:19,200 Kayla the Lord's with the one, the only, the K's back. John Brownstone. I'm, 3 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,240 I am, I'm, thank God. 4 00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:22,240 Yeah. Happy to be back. 5 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:26,640 . I, you know what's funny? I know I'm happy to be back and for like, 6 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,600 reasons that everybody would, 7 00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:32,480 would certainly understand or empathize with or relate to, but your, 8 00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:36,800 I'm so happy to be back is like next level. Like, I can't even compete, like, 9 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:40,440 right. That's true. I wanna compete. Like, I want my missing you to be worse, 10 00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:42,720 but you went through it. 11 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,440 Next time I'll send you in my place. 12 00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:47,520 Oh, those people couldn't handle me. And also I would've, 13 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,680 I would've just taken the next flight back. I'd have been like, oh, no, no, no, 14 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,760 no, no, no, no. I'm not here for your bullshit. None of you people make sense. 15 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:55,960 You all need therapy . 16 00:00:57,540 --> 00:01:00,280 And for somebody to like tell you to your face to like fuck off, 17 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:05,120 like you all need that . So, but I'm glad you're back with me. I am too. 18 00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:08,120 And you're feeling the love. I am. I know. A little, 19 00:01:08,190 --> 00:01:12,800 just a little bit of explaining how your time away went and both 20 00:01:12,950 --> 00:01:16,360 boys were like hugging you and going, I love you so much. I know. 21 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,840 . I know, I know. 22 00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:21,880 So can you feel the love? Yes, you can. 23 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:22,880 Yes I can. Yes you can. 24 00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:26,800 Yep. So what's funny is we're back, but also we're going on break next week. 25 00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:31,720 So Yeah. We're going back for a minute. Um, yeah, we're here. Uh, 26 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,680 welcome to the Loving B D S M podcast. If this is your first time listening, 27 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,960 glad to have you. If you're back for another week, welcome back. 28 00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:40,360 Loving B D S M is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure in education. 29 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,640 And show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net. 30 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:46,080 Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite podcast app. 31 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:50,960 You can also follow the show on Twitter at loving BDSM on fe life at Loving BDSM 32 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:55,840 PC on Instagram at that handle Live Will Forever Fucking Hate Loving dss and the 33 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,040 number one. So at Loving DSS one, 34 00:01:58,140 --> 00:02:01,880 or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving bdsm, where you can watch us live, 35 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,800 stream the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the show notes. 36 00:02:05,220 --> 00:02:09,240 Big thanks as always to our kinky patrons over on Patreon. Uh, quite frankly, 37 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,640 they, uh, we're grateful for them for all the reasons, but also like, 38 00:02:13,670 --> 00:02:15,800 it's one of those places where you go and you're like, 39 00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:18,360 let me rant about this insanity. 40 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:23,680 And I'm glad you have that space , and you have that community. Yep. Uh, 41 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,240 that's not all that we do over there. 42 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:29,560 You don't just have to be like the bearer of all our bad news or anything like 43 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,640 that. You don't have to. No, no, no. We, we do other things. . 44 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:36,920 We've got a Discord server where the ranting takes place. Uh, 45 00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:39,800 we do a behind the scenes podcast. We've got an exclusive video. 46 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,320 We do a monthly live stream. 47 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:45,640 We do extra little things depending on the tier you choose. Like we, we try to, 48 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:49,920 to give as much as if not more than we receive. 49 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,560 And we are grateful, especially good Lord, 50 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,080 in this economy for anybody who is able to be part of our community right. 51 00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:59,800 At any fucking tier, uh, . So, uh, 52 00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:03,360 if either JB Rants or all the other stuff, uh, 53 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:04,960 appeal to you and it's in your budget, 54 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:09,000 we would love to invite you to join our kinky community over on Patreon. Uh, 55 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:13,400 just go to patreon.com/kayla lords, that's patreon.com/kayla lords, 56 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,040 or use the link in the show notes, uh, to learn more, sign up, 57 00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:18,173 all that good stuff. 58 00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:19,903 Sure. 59 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,920 what I said? Is that what you're Yeah, sure. Okay. Okay. 60 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:27,160 So the next thing you will hear might be a buzz in the background. 61 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:32,160 That is our handy dandy fan. No, no, you, that was you being a buzzing little. 62 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,320 Beat . Uh. 63 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,880 I do say, I think, 64 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:40,920 I'm not sure the light we're currently using for the YouTube side of this, 65 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:46,080 I feel like it's putting off less heat. Like it's still warm in here. Yeah. The, 66 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:46,820 what did you say? The, 67 00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:50,160 the heat index temperature out the feels like temperature outside is 113. Um. 68 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,280 Feels like temperature at a quarter of, of at, 69 00:03:53,340 --> 00:03:57,880 at 1145 this morning was 113 degrees Fahrenheit. 70 00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:00,400 And we still have two or three hours of it just getting hotter. Right. 71 00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:04,960 So fun times. Fun times. Okay. So, uh, 72 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:09,440 before we get into the questions, uh, a couple of announcements. One, 73 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:14,520 uh, the week after this episode goes out, the week that contains the date, 74 00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:17,840 August 16th, we are on a break. Um, 75 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:21,800 we are prepping the 18 year old to get packed up. Who? 76 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,280 He will wait till like nine o'clock the day before. 77 00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:28,120 We need to leave to finish packing 'cause I know him. Um, 78 00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:33,440 he's packing to go to college to go to his freaking college apartment. 79 00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:36,880 Not dorm. Not dorm. Where you get to come home like, you know, 80 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:41,240 holidays and summers. No, no, no apartment with a 12 month fricking lease. 81 00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:45,280 So maybe he'll come home every so often for like a day or two. 82 00:04:46,860 --> 00:04:49,840 Um, I can't even use the, oh, he'll come home to do laundry. 83 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,200 'cause his apartment has a washer dryer, . 84 00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:53,200 Right. 85 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,760 I get, I get none of the perks of send your kid off and be done with them, 86 00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:00,840 but also they'll still come home. Um, thankfully he's an hour away. 87 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,040 I can go see him whenever I want . Uh, but that is next week. 88 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:09,000 Sending the, our first kid to college. Um, the 13 year old goes, 89 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,320 starts middle school today. What? You look confused. What happened? 90 00:05:13,190 --> 00:05:14,760 Whatcha looking for? My. 91 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,800 Phone is blowing up. 92 00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:20,000 Oh. That he can hear it in his hearing aids. I'm like, what is happening? Um, 93 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,840 so yeah, we're taking a break, but we have our monthly, 94 00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:26,880 regularly scheduled YouTube livestream. Friday night livestream. 95 00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:32,400 That will still happen August 18th. Um, will it be mostly me like complaining, 96 00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:37,760 um, and going, I can't believe it, blah, blah, blah. Probably, probably. Um, 97 00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:43,120 so no episode, livestream podcast episode, whatever the week of August 16th. 98 00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:48,440 Uh, but there will be a Friday night live stream, so ta-da. 99 00:05:48,770 --> 00:05:52,240 Those are really the announcements. Um, 100 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:57,720 the questions we, I asked her questions over at that handle I, uh, 101 00:05:58,790 --> 00:06:01,880 hate on Instagram. And uh, 102 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,160 I ask for them there because the way Instagram works, 103 00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:08,520 it is much easier to keep them organized and that's how I like it. Um, 104 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:12,520 so that's what we're going to start with. 105 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,880 I screenshot them 'cause I wasn't convinced I would still be able to access them 106 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:21,840 later, but now I'm trying to get to them and so there we go. Okay. 107 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,800 So we're gonna go through these questions. 108 00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:27,680 I'm not even gonna try for rapid answer rapid fire. Y'all know us. 109 00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,320 We're not even capable. Um, 110 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,320 I don't think we'll take questions from like the YouTube live chat or anything 111 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:36,080 like that. Um, maybe, but I don't think so. Uh, 112 00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:39,600 just know that there are other opportunities to ask questions. Uh, we, 113 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,960 that Friday night live stream on August 18th, 114 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,480 that will be a Q and a and then we do a q and a for our patrons once a month, 115 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,080 um, where you can ask questions there. And that's actually this Saturday, 116 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:53,520 August 12th. So there are other opportunities. Um, 117 00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:56,480 so let's get into these and no, 118 00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,280 I'm not saying names 'cause privacy and all that. Hmm. Okay. First question. 119 00:07:01,270 --> 00:07:02,600 Yeah. I'm looking at these, right? Yeah. 120 00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:07,200 Do you believe you have to be in a power dynamic to truly be a part of kink or B 121 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,033 D S M? 122 00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:10,173 No. No. 123 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:15,360 No. Power exchange is just one part of, it's part of the DSS of B D S M, 124 00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:18,760 so mm-hmm. , you can reject that part and still be kinky as fuck. 125 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:19,320 Sure. 126 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,400 I mean, my God, I, I've been in this long enough, 127 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:27,590 I have known masochists who love to, 128 00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:31,030 you know, receive all kinds of pain 129 00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:36,230 and they do not have a submissive bone in their body. Mm-hmm. Okay. 130 00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:39,950 You can be in a 131 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:46,230 power exchange dynamic and, and not have a masochistic bone in your body. 132 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:46,850 Right. There. 133 00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:49,790 May be a lot of kinky things that you're, you're submissive your dom, 134 00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:52,110 but there are other Yeah. Plenty of kinky activities. You're like, 135 00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:55,350 that's not my jam. I'm just here for the power exchange. So it goes both ways. 136 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,230 And, you know, you can be, 137 00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:05,710 even you, you, you can be, how do I say it? How do I say it? 138 00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:06,430 How the hell do I say it? 139 00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:07,263 I don't know. 'cause you're. 140 00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:10,310 Fuzzy. Um, you're right. . Um, I mean, 141 00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:12,750 even if you're not in a relationship with somebody, 142 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:17,830 doesn't make you any less kinky if you're a submissive or you're a masochist. 143 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:18,060 Or. 144 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:19,750 I've actually seen people try to say the opposite, 145 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,750 that if you're in a power exchange, you're not somehow not part of B D S M. 146 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:23,870 So the, 147 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:28,270 the fact that there's something floating around out there to make somebody have 148 00:08:28,270 --> 00:08:29,750 to ask this to wonder mm-hmm. 149 00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:32,910 that if you're somehow not in a power exchange, 150 00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:34,030 you're somehow not kinky. Like, 151 00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:37,790 that's weird to me because DOM and sub is a relationship style. Mm-hmm. 152 00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:40,070 , that's the power exchange, right? It's part of the, 153 00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:44,110 the acronym B D S M. But there's tops and bottoms. Like you, 154 00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:48,310 you can, like giving or receiving the activity, the sensation, 155 00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:49,590 the whatever mm-hmm. 156 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:53,150 and never negotiate a power exchange relationship. Right. 157 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:53,630 There. 158 00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:57,680 Are plenty of sters, like I've come across more sters who think it's not weird, 159 00:08:57,740 --> 00:09:00,760 but they like give some side eye to power exchange relationships because for 160 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,640 them it's purely a top bottom. Mm-hmm. 161 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:08,600 activity based, kink based, scene based kind of deal. So, 162 00:09:09,430 --> 00:09:12,880 yeah. Um, next one. 163 00:09:12,950 --> 00:09:16,640 This one's not really a question, but more of a, 164 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,400 I guess give our thoughts on kind of situation. Okay. 165 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:25,520 It's dealing with rejection in a DSS dynamic or DSS breakups having 166 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,360 more feeling this person asked for multiple things. 167 00:09:27,540 --> 00:09:31,560 So let's talk about dealing with rejection in a, a DSS dynamic. 168 00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:33,760 So there's different, two different kind of rejection. 169 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:37,680 There's the rejection of the thing you wanna do, or the thing you asked for, 170 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:39,000 or the thing you're interested in, 171 00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:40,680 and then there's rejection of you as the person, 172 00:09:40,690 --> 00:09:42,840 which typically then leads to a breakup. 173 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:48,040 So rejection of not breakup rejection, but other kind of rejection. 174 00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:52,920 How would you recommend dealing with rejection in a power exchange 175 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:53,740 dynamic? 176 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:58,440 Um, I, I think one, the, the one most important thing I, 177 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:03,600 I have learned when it comes to any kind of rejection mm-hmm. 178 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:07,880 , um, is that it's not personal. Don't try not to take it personal. 179 00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:11,720 Right. It's usually about the person who's rejecting Right. Saying, okay, 180 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,280 that's not my thing. Or mm-hmm. , 181 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,720 you're probably a perfectly fine human being, but you're not my person. Correct. 182 00:10:15,860 --> 00:10:17,280 Or whatever the rejection is now. Correct. 183 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:21,800 Can people be shitty about their rejection? Yeah. And be like, assholes. Oh, 184 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,320 fucking course. Yeah. Again, that's about them, not you. Mm-hmm. , 185 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:25,150 but. 186 00:10:25,150 --> 00:10:29,320 Yeah. You know, so, you know, it, it's, it's a hard thing to do. 187 00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:33,640 You know, it's easy to say not to take it personally. Oh yeah. 188 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:33,920 Yeah. 189 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,560 Yeah, yeah. All right. It's a very easy thing to say. And, and, you know, 190 00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:42,920 when you're in it at that, at the moment, it's hard not to, 191 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:47,560 you, you have to really kind of work at it. 192 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:50,400 And it's a lifelong skill, you know? 'cause one day you'll be like, yeah, 193 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,720 I can handle rejection. And then the next day it, you know, 194 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,560 it makes you weepy and question. 195 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,480 Yourself. Exactly. Exactly. 196 00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:59,080 And the thing I would say about rejection in a power exchange, 197 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,080 let's say the power exchange is going along just fine. 198 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,440 You're happy to be in the relationship, 199 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:07,560 but you have brought up a thing to your partner that you'd like to do or try or 200 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:10,360 experience, and they have rejected that idea. Um, 201 00:11:11,150 --> 00:11:13,680 that does not mean that you, 202 00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:17,400 like the relationship is over unless it is something that is, 203 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:21,320 you require to have a happy, healthy relationship. And you are like, 204 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:26,080 this is my non-negotiable. Oftentimes it can be more of a, 205 00:11:26,510 --> 00:11:30,080 okay, we, you don't wanna do this. What can we do? Mm-hmm. , 206 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,320 if you can do this without pressuring a partner, 207 00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:36,000 we do not pressure partners when they're like, no, I'm not into that thing. 208 00:11:36,050 --> 00:11:36,500 Right. 209 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:41,160 But if it's a thing where they need more time to learn more about it, 210 00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:45,080 or they have a misconception of what it is, 211 00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:50,640 if they are open to learning about it or having you talk to them about it, 212 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:55,120 or sharing why they're rejecting the idea, 213 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:59,520 and then they're willing to let you tell them, he, okay, 214 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,080 you reject for this idea, but let me tell you what maybe you don't know. 215 00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:04,200 That's always a possibility. 216 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:09,000 Something that you reject on at one point doesn't always mean it's 217 00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:12,960 never going to happen. Sometimes it might happen, 218 00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:16,640 but not if you pressure your partner . If you, 219 00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:20,320 if you make them feel bad or guilty for rejecting your idea, 220 00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:26,080 then we're, we're in the manipulation kind of part of things. And, 221 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:28,080 you know, if you, 222 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:32,840 if a partner feels like they have to say yes to something to keep the 223 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,600 relationship or to keep you happy, 224 00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:39,640 or to avoid whatever bad feelings they don't wanna avoid, that's coercion. 225 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,040 . We're, we're not mm-hmm. , we're not working with, uh, 226 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:46,040 enthusiastic informed consent anymore. No. So it's a tricky line. You know, 227 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:51,120 I think it's okay if your partner's willing to tell you, okay, why is this a no? 228 00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:54,280 Like, if they're willing to have that conversation with you. Um, 229 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,760 I think Empower Exchange 230 00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:02,080 one should do their best to be more open to trying to explain why. 231 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,320 But sometimes the answer is, I just don't like it. 232 00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:08,680 And that has to be enough of a reason. . But sometimes the answer is, oh, 233 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:12,440 well, I think it's this, like, some stereotype of it. Yeah. 234 00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:14,440 Like when I asked if the, 235 00:13:14,490 --> 00:13:18,400 we've told this story multiple times when I asked if you thought you might be a 236 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,040 daddy dom, you literally laughed. 237 00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:21,280 Yeah, I did. 238 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:25,400 And here we are today. Right. Very much in my mind, the epitome of a daddy dom. 239 00:13:25,740 --> 00:13:29,480 Um, because you had misconceptions about it. Yeah. So you te yes, 240 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:34,280 you rejected that sort of path and that view, 241 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,360 but it wasn't a reject 'cause this is a hard limit. 242 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,680 And don't ever talk to me about this again. This is will always be a No. 243 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,960 It was more of a ha this is what I think it is. And I'm definitely not that. 244 00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:47,600 And it allowed over time for us to have conversations about it. Mm-hmm. 245 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,400 . So there's also that which is highly nuanced . 246 00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:55,680 And it is a fine line between is this something that the person is open to 247 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:56,080 talking about, 248 00:13:56,080 --> 00:14:00,160 maybe learning more about and thinking about versus this is a hard, no, 249 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,800 excuse me. This is a hard no. And we need to leave him alone about it. 250 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:07,440 Rejection of you as a person for the relationship, the breakup part. 251 00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:11,120 Any tips on how to handle that level of rejection? 252 00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:12,573 Um, 253 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,560 I think there what needs to be done. I, 254 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,840 I think the best thing you can do after breakup is, 255 00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:22,920 is self care. 256 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:24,760 Yeah. Take care of yourself. 257 00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:27,400 For sure. And, and a lot of it because, you know, it's, 258 00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:31,600 it's easy to fall into a mindset, you know, 259 00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:35,960 um, after a breakup, woe is me. Right? 260 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,120 Nobody will ever love me. I'm lost and alone forever. Right? Yeah. Yeah. 261 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:43,720 For sure. And, and that is not true. That is absolutely not true. And, 262 00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:48,560 and self-care for yourself is, is so important. You know, um, 263 00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:52,720 do things that feed your soul, whatever that may be. Mm-hmm. , 264 00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:57,680 you know, whether it, it it's being with friends who, who, you know, 265 00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,400 can support you. Um, 266 00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:05,200 do things that you love to do, um, 267 00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:10,880 you know, dive into a hobby, 268 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:15,440 right. That, that you like, or that you've been wanting to try, you know, 269 00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:19,200 try something new, but, but take care of you. 270 00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:23,000 And sometimes that means for a little bit, you need to withdraw from kink. 271 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,160 Mm-hmm. and the bdsm. Mm-hmm. , maybe not community. 272 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,040 Like if you have friends that, you know, friendships you've built, but like, 273 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,320 maybe you don't go to a munch. 274 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:30,800 'cause that's a little too hard for you right now. Yeah. 275 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,200 Maybe you don't go to the club. Maybe you're not mm-hmm. , 276 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:36,080 you know, watching videos or whatever it is that, you know, 277 00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:39,560 reminds you of this thing that you've lost, that you no longer have. 278 00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:42,760 The other thing I would say, because I hear it from people who are like, well, 279 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:47,520 we were only in this dynamic for insert imagined short amount of time, 280 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:51,360 they'll go, I don't feel like I, I'm allowed to feel as bad as I do. 281 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,040 You get to feel as bad as you feel. 282 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,680 I don't care if the relationship was a couple of weeks. Right. Couple of months, 283 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,760 a couple of years you thought that something was going to happen. 284 00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:06,360 You were invested. I imagine in this relationship, in this dynamic, hell, 285 00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:11,200 you might have gone through everything of starting negotiations to negotiating 286 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:16,200 it, to actually experiencing the power exchange. And now it's over. 287 00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:19,760 That's a loss. That's a, that's a thing. You get to grieve, you know, 288 00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:23,800 we always say be careful that you don't get stuck there. Like, you know, 289 00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:28,800 you have, there's no timeline for how long you need to grieve. Um, 290 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:33,080 but sometimes people can get stuck there and it, it becomes, you know, 291 00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:37,320 unhealthy at a certain point. How long is that? I can't tell you. Um. Right. 292 00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:40,280 But I think that you are, you ought to, 293 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:45,040 and I would encourage people to feel your feelings. Like, 294 00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:49,520 just be sad, be angry, be whatever. Don't be toxic. 295 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,520 Don't be stalkerish, . Mm-hmm. 296 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,380 . 297 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:57,400 You know? Right. Like, honor the grief that you feel it's legitimate. 298 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:01,640 Your feelings were legitimate. Um, and, 299 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:05,800 and yeah, a as you're going through the grief, as you come out of the grief, 300 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:06,913 whatever it is, 301 00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:10,040 take care of yourself and do things that make you feel good to the extent that 302 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:10,660 you can, 303 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:14,640 for some people that's diving into kink and being in that space with friends and 304 00:17:14,670 --> 00:17:15,420 community. 305 00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:18,240 And for some people it's pulling back a little bit until they feel ready. 306 00:17:18,590 --> 00:17:19,680 There's no right. 307 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,320 Or wrong. Right. Some, some, some people, you know, 308 00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:25,120 at that point want to be out and about among friends. Mm-hmm. , um, 309 00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:29,360 some people, um, you know, need the time of, 310 00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:33,840 of being an introvert and, and doing some self-reflecting. You know, 311 00:17:33,860 --> 00:17:35,000 ev everybody's different. 312 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,640 Absolutely. Absolutely. 313 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:41,360 And we do have both podcast episodes and I think videos on YouTube about DSS 314 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,480 breakups. So if you're looking for more, 315 00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:48,640 come search our site or our channel and you will find it. Next question. 316 00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:52,560 Any beginner friendly tips for a service? Submissive? 317 00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:55,920 I'm gonna interject and say we have an entire episode on service submission. 318 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,520 Mm-hmm. , I am a service submissive. 319 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,400 So it's one of those topics I'm like, oh, yeah, I got things to say. Mm-hmm. 320 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,840 . Um, but do you have any beginner friendly tips? 321 00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:03,880 Um, I, I think the, 322 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:08,200 the best tip I could give someone at that point would be to say, 323 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:09,490 you know, 324 00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:13,840 learn what the person you are serving wants. 325 00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:15,160 Ask them. Ask. 326 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,160 Them, what would you like ? Yeah. You know, you, 327 00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:21,960 you're not a mind reader. So, you know, sure. 328 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,320 There are some things you could probably figure out by, you know, 329 00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:28,320 clues watching them. Right. You know? Right. Conversations you've had, 330 00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:32,040 con conversations you've had, but, you know. Yeah. The best way is just, 331 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,600 just ask. Yeah. How, how can I. 332 00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:36,760 How can I serve? How can I help? Yeah. Um, 333 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:41,200 I think it's also good to think about what you're naturally good at. Mm-hmm. 334 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:45,240 . So if there are skills that you have that can help your partner, 335 00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:49,760 it might be that they don't even know to ask if for you to do that. Um, 336 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,680 it's okay to say, Hey, I'm kind of good at this, or I enjoy doing this. 337 00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:56,640 Fill in the blank with whatever that might be. Uh, 338 00:18:57,140 --> 00:19:00,160 I'm really good at managing people's schedules. 339 00:19:00,380 --> 00:19:03,520 So guess who manages the family schedule? That would be me. Mm-hmm. 340 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,393 , um, 341 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:09,800 pre perimenopause and brain fog and whatever the hell's going on with my head 342 00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:13,880 and hormones and all of that. I was really good at staying organized. 343 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,280 Like I technically am. I just have to use way more tools at my disposal. 344 00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:22,240 And so I tend to keep JB and myself very organized, like that's mm-hmm. 345 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:26,600 , those are the things I do that are, um, service related. 346 00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:29,240 And I think that those are the, there are things that we, 347 00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:32,640 you can do as a service submissive that aren't on sort of the, 348 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,200 here are the top 10 things you can do to serve Right. As a submissive mm-hmm. 349 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,040 kind of lists that are out there, um, 350 00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:43,560 because they're a little bit more nuanced. It's about what, 351 00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:48,000 what you can do for your partner that you have a talent for and an aptitude for, 352 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,080 and a desire to do. 353 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:53,320 The other beginner friendly tip would be start really fucking slow. Um, 354 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,320 service submission tends to come with lots of rules, lots of tasks, 355 00:19:56,470 --> 00:20:01,280 lots of sort of daily or weekly or monthly protocols that you follow as a 356 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,113 way to serve. 357 00:20:02,510 --> 00:20:05,640 That is something you build up to that is not something you do on day one. 358 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:10,040 on day one. We start with like a thing that you do to serve a task. 359 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,560 A rule, not a dozen. Um, that's how you get overwhelmed. 360 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:18,080 That's how you get burnt out. Um, you want, uh, talking to the doms out there, 361 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:22,600 you wanna build your partner up and build up their confidence in themselves. 362 00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:24,400 So you start with one thing. 363 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:27,720 You let them kind of like get that down and get it to where they, 364 00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:29,320 they feel like they can do this. 365 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:32,560 And then with their consent and through plenty of communication, 366 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:37,000 then you add something else. And the pace of that, how fast you add things, 367 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,760 depends on what the tasks are, what the services, and how quickly they, 368 00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:45,400 you're a submissive adapts and feels confident. But we starts, look, 369 00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:48,600 that's probably my biggest beginner friendly tip. And then, yeah. 370 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,560 The second one is submissives. Ask what you can do for your partner. 371 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:56,760 It is not service if your partner doesn't want it from you. Okay. 372 00:20:57,300 --> 00:21:02,240 It is you feeling submissive without the input 373 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,960 and consent of your dominant mm-hmm. . 374 00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:11,080 It's not service if it only serves you and your dominance. Like, but I didn't, 375 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,280 I didn't ask for this and I don't want this and this doesn't benefit me in some 376 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:18,840 way. So don't assume, ask. Yeah. Yeah. 377 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,480 , I know I've come across plenty of people who are like, 378 00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:27,000 but this is a way that I conserve and, and this makes me happy. And I'm like, 379 00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:31,160 but my, my dom is unhappy with me. Well, yeah. Did, did y'all talk about it? 380 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,040 Mm-hmm. Did they want you to do this for them? 381 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:36,320 There are plenty of horror stories from the internet, quite frankly, 382 00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:41,680 from my view, most often with fem doms, 383 00:21:42,340 --> 00:21:43,140 excuse me, 384 00:21:43,140 --> 00:21:47,760 fem doms and male subs where male subs will send a DMM of here's all the things 385 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,520 I can do Yeah. And that you can do for me. And it's like, 386 00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:54,280 we're back to kink dispenser kind of thing. Mm-hmm. . 387 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:58,560 And it's not about negotiating something that is mutually beneficial for both 388 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:02,480 partners. Right. It's about saying, you know, a person goes, 389 00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:05,880 here's my list of demands and here's what I'm gonna do for you whether you want 390 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,440 it or not. 'cause it's what I do. That ain't service. That ain't service. 391 00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:14,040 Mm-hmm. That ain't service. So, okay. And just as a reminder, 392 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:18,160 we have a whole episode on service mission search the podcast on our website, 393 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,120 search YouTube. It's there. Okay. Here we go, man. 394 00:22:22,290 --> 00:22:25,720 Folks have questions about ending relationships. Uh, here's one. 395 00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:30,720 What is your best advice for dealing with the healthy ending of a dynamic? 396 00:22:31,820 --> 00:22:32,653 Ooh. 397 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,360 I know they happen. I know they happen. 398 00:22:34,590 --> 00:22:35,600 Yeah. Yeah. 399 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,360 I haven't witnessed it or been a part of one, but I dunno. 400 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,080 , . Um, I, 401 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:47,880 I think that, I would have to say it would have to come down to, 402 00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:49,293 you know, 403 00:22:49,770 --> 00:22:54,680 treat the ending of the relationship the same way as you would treat 404 00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:58,720 the beginning. Mm-hmm. of relationship. Mm-hmm. , um, 405 00:22:58,980 --> 00:23:03,480 you know, try to do it with respect, with honesty. Uh, you know, 406 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:08,080 there's no need for, for name calling or, or, 407 00:23:08,380 --> 00:23:13,240 um, you know, shaming someone Right. Or anything like that. And, 408 00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:16,680 and sometimes it's just a matter of, you know, 409 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,920 things take time to kind of let the, let the dust settle. 410 00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:24,400 And also there's the, the other end of, you know, the, 411 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:28,640 the demanding to have information that the other person's not willing to give 412 00:23:28,860 --> 00:23:32,680 the begging and pleading. Mm-hmm. The mm-hmm. , you know, I, 413 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,040 I like how you say treat the end like you treat at the beginning. You know, 414 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,040 keep the lines of communication open if the other person wants that. Yeah. 415 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:43,000 But respect the person's boundaries if they say, Hey, I, I don't want to, 416 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,760 I can't do this anymore. I don't wanna do this anymore, anymore. This I, 417 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,120 whatever, whatever it is. Okay. So that means you can, 418 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:54,880 I think you can ask questions in that initial conversation. Um, can I text you? 419 00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:56,800 Can I dmm you? Do you want mm-hmm. , 420 00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:00,120 do you want to keep the lines of communication open at all? Um, 421 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:05,120 I think ask those questions. Sure. But then respect the answer they give you. 422 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,720 And sometimes the answer will be, I don't know what I want, but how about you, 423 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:12,360 let me reach out to you. Well, okay. Well that means no 2:00 AM uh, 424 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:17,160 , uh, texts, uh, walls of text. Yeah. You know what I mean? 425 00:24:17,710 --> 00:24:18,920 Yeah. Just, just. 426 00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:22,160 Respect whatever it is they tell you. 427 00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:27,360 And this is in those healthy endings of relationships, not the toxic shit, 428 00:24:27,540 --> 00:24:29,480 not the, the bad breakups. That, 429 00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:33,160 that's a different set of rules where sometimes the answer is blocky block, 430 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,400 block, block. Right. But quite frankly, even in a healthy ending, 431 00:24:36,740 --> 00:24:41,640 the what might be good for your mental health when a relationship ends is that 432 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,280 you do mute them or you do block them, or, you know, 433 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,120 because maybe seeing reminders of them is too painful. 434 00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:51,440 It is up to you whether you tell them first or not that you're going to do that. 435 00:24:52,020 --> 00:24:55,560 Um, but you know, you can still do the, 436 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,680 take those actions to take care of yourself and it not be part of a toxic 437 00:24:58,750 --> 00:25:01,280 breakup. Um, but yeah, 438 00:25:01,390 --> 00:25:05,000 like if you're having sort of like the grownup conversation of, okay, 439 00:25:05,030 --> 00:25:08,920 this is ending, how do we want this to end? Yeah. 440 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,800 I think if you ever get that luxury, 441 00:25:10,940 --> 00:25:13,560 you negotiate it like you negotiated the start. Mm-hmm. 442 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,240 What does this look like? What does this mean? What's, 443 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,680 what are you comfortable with? What are you not comfortable with? Some people, 444 00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:22,880 I'm one of them. I am not a, can be friends with my ex kind of person. Like, 445 00:25:23,110 --> 00:25:25,960 once I'm done with you, I'm kind of just done with you . 446 00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:31,440 But other people can be like that, that works for them. Yeah. And so, you know, 447 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,600 there's a little bit of know yourself, 448 00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:37,600 but also respect when they tell you whether they can or can't be that way. 449 00:25:38,140 --> 00:25:42,040 So, yeah. Okay. Next question. 450 00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:44,520 Moving in together soon. 451 00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:49,120 How to prep for transitioning DSS dynamics to 24 7? Uh, 452 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:52,000 total power exchange. We have episodes on this. Oh yeah. Yeah. 453 00:25:52,020 --> 00:25:54,160 We have so many episodes on this. Uh, 454 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,920 we have podcast episodes that are old as fuck. And we have a couple of like, 455 00:25:57,980 --> 00:26:01,160 new one, maybe two new-ish videos on YouTube. 456 00:26:01,220 --> 00:26:04,320 So if you go to any of our places and just type in long distance relationship, 457 00:26:04,370 --> 00:26:08,560 it'll come up. Mm-hmm. , how to prep for transitioning. Be. 458 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,080 Prepared for expectations to change. Be. 459 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,800 Prepared for your plan to fail miserably. 460 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:14,710 Right. 461 00:26:14,710 --> 00:26:16,960 Plan. If you were a planner, go ahead and plan. 462 00:26:17,330 --> 00:26:18,040 Right. But. 463 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,600 Just know you might have to throw out the plan. 464 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,920 . Exactly. Um, yeah. We, we, because we did, 465 00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:26,760 we we we hit the wall on that one. Who And I. 466 00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:27,840 We had big plans. 467 00:26:28,070 --> 00:26:28,880 Yeah. We did. We. 468 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:30,760 Were, we were ambitious. Yep. 469 00:26:31,140 --> 00:26:34,600 We spent weeks and months talking about what we thought it would look like. 470 00:26:34,770 --> 00:26:38,120 Right. We had our expectations set way up there. 471 00:26:38,460 --> 00:26:41,880 Oh. They were not even realistic. We were gonna do all the things. Uhhuh, 472 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:46,120 . I do think the one thing we did really well that I don't like, 473 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,960 I think sometimes you think about it and sometimes you don't. Mm-hmm. 474 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:48,260 , 475 00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:53,160 we knew that the rules and the routines and the things we had done long 476 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:53,890 distance, 477 00:26:53,890 --> 00:26:56,920 there were some of those that just didn't make sense once you were in person. 478 00:26:56,950 --> 00:27:00,520 Correct. You know, why am I gonna send you a morning text that, that's silly, 479 00:27:00,940 --> 00:27:02,480 you know, , um, 480 00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:05,960 it wouldn't have worked with our life for me to, 481 00:27:06,050 --> 00:27:07,720 let's say call you at work every morning, 482 00:27:07,780 --> 00:27:10,920 but to replace the morning text like that wouldn't have made sense. 483 00:27:11,020 --> 00:27:15,720 So talking about what can't carry over from long 484 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,680 distance mm-hmm. to in person, uh, 485 00:27:17,740 --> 00:27:22,360 as a good conversation have talking about what might be able to carry over and 486 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,640 you just adjust it. That's a good conversation to have. Yeah. Um, 487 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,760 I think yeah. 488 00:27:27,810 --> 00:27:31,680 Being realistic about what you're able to do and being patient with both your 489 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:32,520 partner and yourself. 490 00:27:33,020 --> 00:27:36,280 We went in guns blazing with all these things I was gonna do. Oh yeah. 491 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,440 I very quickly became overwhelmed and we literally like shut down the power 492 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:45,520 exchange for like two weeks because there's so much to like moving in together. 493 00:27:45,930 --> 00:27:48,960 There was family dynamics, there were mm-hmm. , uh, 494 00:27:48,970 --> 00:27:50,480 there was chaos of the apartment. 495 00:27:50,530 --> 00:27:55,440 There was unpacking and building furniture and getting our life organized so we 496 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,320 could then try to start living it. 497 00:27:57,780 --> 00:28:01,440 And adding in and trying to remember and maintain 498 00:28:02,530 --> 00:28:06,120 rules and the things we negotiated for the power exchange. It, it, 499 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,840 I couldn't do both. It just was not even an option. No. Um, 500 00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:12,360 and so then when we did come back from that break, 501 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:17,000 we did what we always recommend and we recommended 'cause it works. 502 00:28:17,140 --> 00:28:18,680 We went super fucking slow. 503 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,800 Yeah. We did super. 504 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:24,360 Super slow. Yep. Yep. Adding sort of like one at a time kind of thing. Um, 505 00:28:26,140 --> 00:28:27,160 so yeah. 506 00:28:27,380 --> 00:28:28,213 Mm-hmm. . 507 00:28:28,350 --> 00:28:31,160 Yeah. But managing your expectations and, 508 00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:33,440 and understanding that no matter what your plan is, it, 509 00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:36,680 it might not actually work in real life. It, 510 00:28:36,740 --> 00:28:40,880 it makes it easier if you can kind of go, oh, yeah, 511 00:28:41,030 --> 00:28:43,240 well we thought that might work, but that that's not working. 512 00:28:43,310 --> 00:28:45,040 It's not working. So let's shift gears. Yeah. Mm-hmm. 513 00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:47,960 Um, 'cause if what you do is you go in with, this is the plan, 514 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,240 we have to execute the plan. We cannot deviate from the plan. 515 00:28:50,340 --> 00:28:54,400 You have just stressed everybody out and now potentially both of you are 516 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:58,040 miserable and somebody's probably feeling like a failure and somebody's 517 00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,400 wondering what the hell happened to your dynamic? 518 00:28:59,620 --> 00:29:02,960 And maybe both of you are feeling that way and it's, it's unnecessary. 519 00:29:03,150 --> 00:29:05,360 Just stay flexible. Mm-hmm. , make your plan. Mm-hmm. 520 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,760 have the conversations about what you think it'll be like. Right. 521 00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:12,800 Yeah. Keep, keep your, excuse me. Keep your expectations, 522 00:29:13,860 --> 00:29:17,960 um, realistic. Mm-hmm. , um, you know, make your plans, 523 00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:20,640 but be willing to be flexible. Mm-hmm. . 524 00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:24,120 Mm-hmm. . Exactly. Okay. Next question. 525 00:29:25,510 --> 00:29:29,720 What is a first time club B D S M club visit? Like, 526 00:29:29,970 --> 00:29:32,000 especially if you are a monogamous couple? 527 00:29:32,060 --> 00:29:33,360 So I'm gonna interrupt before you answer. 528 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:38,320 I find that curious that there might be a perception that 529 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:40,960 visiting a B D Ss M club or dungeon mm-hmm. 530 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:45,400 would be somehow different for a monogamous couple versus a, 531 00:29:45,620 --> 00:29:49,280 you know, not, um, non-monogamous couple. Yeah. So for the record, 532 00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:53,880 it's not necessarily walking into an orgy where you were expected to just get 533 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,520 naked and fall into a pile of bodies. It really is not. 534 00:29:56,860 --> 00:30:00,440 You know, I I I, and I think that comes from, 535 00:30:02,340 --> 00:30:05,400 and you know what, I'm, I'm not surprised. No, I'm not surprised to hear that. 536 00:30:05,580 --> 00:30:09,640 I'm not surprised either that, that that portion, because you hear, 537 00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:14,440 um, so many people, you know, 538 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:18,920 talking about being polyamorous mm-hmm. anymore, 539 00:30:19,290 --> 00:30:21,840 which, which is a good thing in and of itself mm-hmm. . 540 00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:27,040 But you hear it so much that you almost get this feeling it's expected to 541 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:28,240 be the norm. Yes. 542 00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:28,910 Yes. 543 00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:33,440 Okay. Agreed. Which, which is not really no. The case, um, 544 00:30:33,860 --> 00:30:34,693 you know, 545 00:30:35,090 --> 00:30:39,840 first time to a dungeon for most anybody, uh, 546 00:30:40,100 --> 00:30:42,640 it does differ from from club to club, 547 00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:46,800 but yet the more things change, the more they stay the same. They stay the same. 548 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:51,400 Yeah. Kind of thing. Um, of the two dungeons that I have been to, 549 00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:54,000 uh, as a first timer, uh, 550 00:30:54,510 --> 00:30:57,640 they just don't take and throw you into the action and say, Hey, no meat. 551 00:30:57,930 --> 00:30:58,763 Right. Right. No. 552 00:30:59,060 --> 00:31:02,320 No, no. That, that, that is not what happens at all. And. 553 00:31:02,350 --> 00:31:06,600 Give major side eye to any, any individual who was like that to you at a club. 554 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,160 Right. Like, that's gross behavior. 555 00:31:08,580 --> 00:31:13,160 Um, you know, both times at two different clubs, um, 556 00:31:14,540 --> 00:31:17,000 on hearing, you're, you're, you're a new member, you know, 557 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:21,960 especially first time to any club period. Um, 558 00:31:23,700 --> 00:31:28,680 you know, you fill out your membership forms, they. 559 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:29,513 Take you on a tour. 560 00:31:29,590 --> 00:31:32,280 They, they take you on a tour, they give you a, 561 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,000 a list of rules and they will go over mm-hmm. 562 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,760 the list of rules with you mm-hmm. , um, you know, 563 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:42,720 princess Raw made a good point. You know, not all dungeons even allow sex. 564 00:31:42,940 --> 00:31:45,600 And that's ab absolutely true here in the state of Florida. 565 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,960 I know. And you know what, I don't think it's always about sex, though. 566 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,440 I think people think that they're going to be ex and 'cause we have had friends 567 00:31:52,460 --> 00:31:53,560 who had this concern mm-hmm. 568 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,080 that they're gonna be expected to scene or they're gonna be 569 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:57,030 expected to like, 570 00:31:57,030 --> 00:32:00,680 negotiate a scene with multiple people or people they don't know. And, you know, 571 00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:03,160 for a, for plenty of, uh, couples, 572 00:32:03,350 --> 00:32:05,640 that kind of stuff is private between the two of them. 573 00:32:05,740 --> 00:32:09,840 So they're not even interested in having a different scene partner. Yeah. So, 574 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,400 yes, I think sometimes people think mm-hmm. , 575 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:15,000 it's just a sexual orgy. But I also think there are people who think, oh, 576 00:32:15,070 --> 00:32:17,640 I've walked in. I now have to play with anybody who approaches me. Right. 577 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,840 Or that will be the expectation. Look, 578 00:32:19,860 --> 00:32:23,240 you need to run from a place if you think that if you walk in and that's how 579 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:24,120 they treat you. Right. 580 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:28,240 Like, you know, so, because that ain't so, you know, um, 581 00:32:28,860 --> 00:32:29,920 the other thing they do, 582 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,680 a lot of times they will point out the dungeon monitors, you know? Yes. Um, in, 583 00:32:34,780 --> 00:32:37,600 in, in one dungeon, they, they have, uh, name, 584 00:32:37,710 --> 00:32:41,080 name tags that they wear mm-hmm. , uh, another, 585 00:32:41,110 --> 00:32:44,480 another dungeon or arm bands. They, they had armbands with, with, uh, 586 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,760 like low flashy lights. Low flashy lights. Mm-hmm. mm-hmm. 587 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,800 , you know, and, and if there's anything, you know, 588 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:53,280 these are the people, but you know, they, they don't, and, you know, 589 00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:59,040 um, in, in most dungeons that I'm familiar with, 590 00:32:59,100 --> 00:33:01,800 and I'm going by what I know from the state of Florida. 591 00:33:02,020 --> 00:33:03,520 And different areas have different kind of. 592 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,720 Cultures of community, different community, right? Yes. Absolutely. Um, 593 00:33:07,220 --> 00:33:11,920 you know, nudity is allowed mm-hmm. . Um, 594 00:33:11,940 --> 00:33:13,720 but you don't have to be new. 595 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:14,120 I know. 596 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:18,920 It's so funny that I understand how this happens and why people sometimes feel 597 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:19,720 this way mm-hmm. 598 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:23,240 that just because something is allowed and people engage in it 599 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:28,160 does not mean that the whole room is expecting you to join in this, in healthy, 600 00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:33,520 uh, thriving communities. It is all about consent. So yes, 601 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,520 there will be, you know, bad actors and people who are, but in general, 602 00:33:37,790 --> 00:33:41,120 just because this person's taking their clothes off does not mean you have to 603 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,960 take your clothes off. Right. You were not a air quote this like, outcast, 604 00:33:44,180 --> 00:33:48,000 weirdo, whatever, because you might sit quietly and observe and like mm-hmm. 605 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:48,420 . 606 00:33:48,420 --> 00:33:53,080 The, the first time, the first time I took you to Phoenix, you were, um, 607 00:33:53,660 --> 00:33:54,030 you know, 608 00:33:54,030 --> 00:33:58,920 surprised to see everything from full nudity full Okay. 609 00:33:59,100 --> 00:34:02,840 Saw all the bands to, to, you know, everything in between to people wearing, 610 00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:03,920 you know, people. 611 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,640 Wearing their street clothes. They weren't even wearing fetish gear. Right. 612 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:06,880 Like, 613 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:11,800 and some places will have the rule that to the door of club street wear, 614 00:34:11,910 --> 00:34:14,560 like, you need to look as kind of vanilla Yeah. 615 00:34:14,630 --> 00:34:16,480 When you walk in the door mm-hmm. , 616 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,880 and you're then in the sanctity of the place, then Okay. Right. It's. 617 00:34:20,150 --> 00:34:20,440 They, 618 00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,400 they have changing rooms where you can go get outta your street clothes and, 619 00:34:23,460 --> 00:34:26,880 and put on your fetish gear or, or whatever it is that you want to wear. 620 00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:30,000 And yet you don't, and you don't have to do that. You. 621 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:34,920 Don't, everything you see happening, you don't have to engage in or do. Right. 622 00:34:34,980 --> 00:34:38,960 It is perfectly acceptable to go to the club and never actually get on a piece 623 00:34:38,980 --> 00:34:42,840 of equipment. Right. To just observe or depending on how the place is set up. 624 00:34:42,950 --> 00:34:43,520 Yeah. The, 625 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:46,440 sometimes the social area is completely separate and sometimes it's integrated, 626 00:34:46,580 --> 00:34:50,240 but to just be in the social area and just hang out with people. 627 00:34:50,330 --> 00:34:50,830 Right. 628 00:34:50,830 --> 00:34:53,320 Because maybe you saw them at a munch that day and you went, Hey, 629 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,560 let's go to the club and like, 630 00:34:54,570 --> 00:34:57,120 let's just hang out a little bit more in a different environment. 631 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,960 Whatever day. And, you know, even if you are approached by somebody, you know, 632 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:03,960 would, would you like to do a scene? Right. You know, you're, you're, you, 633 00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:08,840 you are in a place where consent should be everything. Right. You know, 634 00:35:08,950 --> 00:35:10,760 it's okay to say no. 635 00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:14,960 Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Exactly. So, um, 636 00:35:15,620 --> 00:35:19,760 we took friends to their first ever dungeon. We try, 637 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,280 I think we tried to take them to their first ever dungeon experience, 638 00:35:22,940 --> 00:35:26,760 and the dom was like down for it. 639 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,160 He was feeling comfortable mm-hmm. , but his submissive partner, 640 00:35:29,790 --> 00:35:32,280 even though we assured her multiple times, 641 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,760 nobody's gonna have any expectations of you. You can come in. Right. 642 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,480 You can just sit quietly. You could sit in the background. 643 00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:37,860 You don't have have to talk to anybody. 644 00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:40,320 There are times I'm not talking to anybody. 645 00:35:40,830 --> 00:35:42,760 Back when I used to get to go mm-hmm. and people knew me, 646 00:35:42,870 --> 00:35:44,120 like I would be polite, but like, 647 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,200 I wasn't engaging in conversation and that was okay. And we were like, I, 648 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:48,520 I promise you, 649 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:53,040 we would not bring you to a place where you were pressured to do anything you 650 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,880 weren't comfortable with. And for her, it was just, 651 00:35:56,060 --> 00:35:58,160 it was more than she was willing to do. 652 00:35:58,420 --> 00:36:01,360 And so I think we got in there for a little bit, and then they left very, 653 00:36:01,390 --> 00:36:04,200 very early. Yeah. Which was fine. Mm-hmm. , 654 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,440 nobody batted an eyelash. They went, okay, 655 00:36:06,450 --> 00:36:09,920 we're so glad you stopped by for even this 10 minutes. Like, 656 00:36:09,950 --> 00:36:11,880 it's now again, 657 00:36:12,220 --> 00:36:16,960 are there people who do not respect consent, do not respect boundaries, 658 00:36:16,980 --> 00:36:20,640 of course. And they exist in every part of humanity. Mm-hmm. , 659 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,760 certainly in the B D S M world. We all know that. So yes, 660 00:36:23,780 --> 00:36:27,600 you will sometimes come across a person who is not as respectful of those 661 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,080 boundaries or whatever as possible. First of all, like you said, 662 00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:34,160 go tell somebody 'cause that's a problem. Yeah. But second of all, 663 00:36:34,310 --> 00:36:37,400 that should never be the norm. Quite frankly, the places in the, 664 00:36:37,420 --> 00:36:39,680 the parts of the community I've existed in, 665 00:36:39,950 --> 00:36:44,440 even when I've been at my most socially awkward, socially anxious worst, 666 00:36:45,390 --> 00:36:49,440 were super respectful of the fact that of, 667 00:36:49,620 --> 00:36:52,880 of just the fact that I existed and maybe didn't even wanna talk. Like, 668 00:36:53,070 --> 00:36:56,560 consent is key in the best parts of the community mm-hmm. . 669 00:36:56,860 --> 00:37:00,800 And in the places you want to frequent, they're gonna make that top priority, 670 00:37:00,820 --> 00:37:05,000 and they're gonna make that clear to you from the moment you walk in. So, yeah. 671 00:37:05,630 --> 00:37:09,640 Okay. Okay. 672 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,120 Anything else you wanna add for that? Nope. Okay. 673 00:37:12,330 --> 00:37:15,920 These next two are not questions. And normally I would ignore them, 674 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:20,040 but I think you could use the little, the little perk. Okay. 675 00:37:20,060 --> 00:37:23,840 And the little like, positive, uh, reinforcement. And also I, 676 00:37:24,470 --> 00:37:27,840 it's just nice to read nice things about yourself sometimes. Okay. 677 00:37:27,980 --> 00:37:29,600 So the first person said, not a question, 678 00:37:29,740 --> 00:37:34,400 but I love how you share how mental health affects your DSS and kink. Thank you. 679 00:37:34,490 --> 00:37:37,960 Thank you. And the next one says, this is back to back two different people, 680 00:37:38,060 --> 00:37:41,360 so mm-hmm. , nothing to ask. Just wanted to say, 681 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:46,080 you're doing a great job. Love the podcast. Aw. See, thank, thank you. 682 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,920 I always feel awkward when people say nice things about us . Yeah. 683 00:37:48,940 --> 00:37:51,760 And yet, there are times when I'm like, you're kind of in the grind of like, 684 00:37:52,150 --> 00:37:54,160 this is what we do, we gotta do it. Mm-hmm. , you worry, 685 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:55,720 you're not doing it good enough. You, you know, 686 00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,120 I could see every flaw and error. I promise you, 687 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,880 when you do point out a flaw or error, I've seen it 10 times, I'm cringing, 688 00:38:01,900 --> 00:38:06,360 you know, whatever. So when people say nice things, it's, it's helpful. Mm-hmm. 689 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,480 , like, it's like, oh, okay. Yeah. We're not complete shit. Yay. 690 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:13,960 . Okay. This one is fully for you. 691 00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:18,560 Completely for you. I, I can't answer it at all. Okay. I think you'll enjoy it. 692 00:38:19,470 --> 00:38:20,303 Okay. 693 00:38:20,740 --> 00:38:25,120 Do you think you could ever make a kry toy that could also be 694 00:38:25,270 --> 00:38:27,000 electrified for electro play? 695 00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:28,933 Ooh. 696 00:38:30,620 --> 00:38:35,000 If you don't know, we have a shop called the ry the ry.com where Jimmy, 697 00:38:35,020 --> 00:38:36,560 JB makes toys when we sell them. Yay. 698 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,120 I may have to give that, that, I may have to give that some thought. 699 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:49,040 I like that. I, um, off, off the top of my head, I'm not sure. But, um, 700 00:38:50,270 --> 00:38:51,103 yeah. 701 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,160 I mean, we do love electro. 702 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:53,320 Play. We do, we do. 703 00:38:53,860 --> 00:38:55,560 Uh, let's just add that to your list. . Yeah. 704 00:38:55,670 --> 00:38:56,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 705 00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:00,680 You who prior to this time away were feeling like the, 706 00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:04,560 the pressure of me being like, any product. Any product, maybe product. 707 00:39:05,130 --> 00:39:07,680 Let's develop a whole new one. Actually, I think it would be fun though. 708 00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:10,760 It would be fun. Mm-hmm. . Okay. So, uh, next one. 709 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,360 A vi I can't read, sorry. 710 00:39:13,860 --> 00:39:18,240 Advice on ways to communicate boundaries to a partner in a nonverbal 711 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:19,873 judgment free way. 712 00:39:20,260 --> 00:39:22,280 Say that. I'm sorry, say that again. You're. 713 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:23,113 Fuzzy. Yeah. 714 00:39:23,380 --> 00:39:28,120 Advice on ways to communicate boundaries to a partner in a nonverbal 715 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:29,713 judgment free way. 716 00:39:30,780 --> 00:39:31,170 Um. 717 00:39:31,170 --> 00:39:34,480 Non-verbal, no words. Non-verbal. Ooh. Right. 718 00:39:34,860 --> 00:39:38,920 So I'm gonna say that there are probably people out there who have some tips and 719 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:43,000 tricks because maybe mm-hmm. , there are, you know, health reasons, 720 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,280 medical reasons, mental health reasons, 721 00:39:45,340 --> 00:39:48,680 neurodivergent reasons why somebody might need a non-verbal communication. 722 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,880 I am only, I only know how to communicate verbally. 723 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:56,440 I can't even read facial expressions sometimes. I mean, big ones, like, 724 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,440 I can tell if you're happy, I can tell if you're angry sometimes, 725 00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:02,040 but like that whole, oh, we talk to each other with our eyes, I can't do that. 726 00:40:02,060 --> 00:40:03,560 Mm-hmm. But people can, I know. 727 00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,800 I know. There, there are, there are people who can, um, I can't, I mean, 728 00:40:08,180 --> 00:40:11,920 the thing that comes to my mind mm-hmm. as non-verbal mm-hmm. 729 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,600 mm-hmm. , um, would be to write. 730 00:40:15,750 --> 00:40:20,280 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can, you're using words, you're just not saying them. 731 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,440 Correct. And I'm a big fan of writing out down the hard thing. Yeah. Like, 732 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:28,320 I can't say the thing 'cause it's hard for me, but I can write it down. Mm-hmm. 733 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:29,360 , edit myself. 734 00:40:29,530 --> 00:40:30,363 Right. 735 00:40:30,580 --> 00:40:34,120 To like a ridiculous amount. Oh my lord. Mm-hmm. . And then, 736 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:35,200 so that might be a way. 737 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:36,160 I mean, there was, but if. 738 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:37,520 We're talking about not using words at all. 739 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:42,640 I personally don't know. I, I mean, there was a time so long ago, 740 00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:47,120 I I can, it's, it's at the edge of my memory. Mm. 741 00:40:48,030 --> 00:40:50,760 When you had a hard time using your words with me. Oh. 742 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,680 God. Viewport thing got so many long emails. Yes. 743 00:40:53,740 --> 00:40:56,560 And then there were times where I didn't want to email for whatever reason, 744 00:40:56,580 --> 00:40:58,200 and I would get literal paper and a pen, 745 00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:02,880 and then you would wake up to three pieces of paper. College ruled only. I mean, 746 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,560 that's just what I do. Mm-hmm. front and back. 747 00:41:05,790 --> 00:41:08,160 Yeah. . Yeah. So, I mean, that's. 748 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:08,360 All of. 749 00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:11,800 My thoughts. Yeah. So that, and that, and that's why I say that because, 750 00:41:12,060 --> 00:41:16,480 you know, they're, they're saying nonverbal to me, verbal, then connotate. 751 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:17,360 Speaking. Right. 752 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:22,000 Speaking so, you know, then, then write it. If that's a, a comfortable way. 753 00:41:22,260 --> 00:41:23,240 In, in my opinion, 754 00:41:23,460 --> 00:41:28,120 the only way to make sure your communication is as clear as possible is words 755 00:41:28,270 --> 00:41:30,000 have to be involved in some way. Mm-hmm. , 756 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,160 now you communicate those words. Yeah. Right. Sometimes it's not speaking, 757 00:41:33,230 --> 00:41:36,080 it's writing. Sometimes you are not like, hello, 758 00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,440 people who use sign language exists. They, they are speaking mm-hmm. 759 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:44,160 and not vocalizing words. So whatever path you can, 760 00:41:44,500 --> 00:41:47,600 can use to communicate your thoughts 761 00:41:49,140 --> 00:41:52,680 is a valid one. Um, are there ways to, 762 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:57,120 I don't wanna say intuit and be intuitive with one another. 763 00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:01,080 'cause that's a slippery slope of you have, you have to really know a person. 764 00:42:01,270 --> 00:42:05,560 Correct. Um, that's, that's way too fuzzy for me, 765 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:09,400 but I have no doubt that there, I mean, we've had, 766 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,200 we have con this is not about king. This is our personal life. 767 00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:15,000 We have conversations where the youngest kid will go. 768 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,800 I don't think non-verbal is quite the right expression because it's a, 769 00:42:19,790 --> 00:42:22,280 it's selective. It's not like constant, but like that, 770 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,880 like just he cannot speak mm-hmm. . Right. Um, 771 00:42:26,540 --> 00:42:30,360 and in that case, we do a lot of yes or no questions, 772 00:42:30,540 --> 00:42:34,680 or giving two options, one or two. And then he uses, like, pops up, 773 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,880 like a finger goes the first one, the second one. Um, so yes, 774 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:42,440 I know that occurs. And then there are ways to communicate 775 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,400 non-verbally in those kinds of situations. 776 00:42:46,580 --> 00:42:50,680 And I have no doubt that there are folks out there who have that kind of 777 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,640 experience and have figured out that way, but there, somebody is still 778 00:42:56,200 --> 00:43:00,720 communicating thoughts and, and using words in some way to do it. Yeah. So, 779 00:43:01,350 --> 00:43:02,080 yeah. Mm-hmm. , 780 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:07,000 if speaking is not an option or talking in 781 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,760 whatever way, whether that's like sign language with hands or whatever mm-hmm. 782 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,320 , then writing it down beyond that, I can't imagine. 783 00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,880 I just don't have the experience to imagine anything else. So, 784 00:43:17,740 --> 00:43:20,640 um, yeah. 785 00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:25,840 You know, um, there, there's different things too. You know, you're, if you're, 786 00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:31,240 um, talking about communicating during a scene without being verbal. Yeah. 787 00:43:31,420 --> 00:43:35,480 Um, you know, there, there are a number of things you could do. Um. 788 00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:36,750 Hand signals. 789 00:43:36,750 --> 00:43:41,280 Hand signals know finger one, one finger means you're okay. Two finger. Right. 790 00:43:41,420 --> 00:43:43,920 You know, means no, this needs to stop. Sometimes somebody holds something, 791 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:48,360 somebody holds something like, like a ball or a piece of paper. If you drop it, 792 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,080 that means, you know, every, that, that's a stop. Everything. 793 00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:54,760 Comes to, I've heard people snapping or stomping their feet. Mm-hmm. 794 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,840 , I've, I've heard of that. Those, you know, 795 00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:01,160 when I think of the question communicating boundaries in a judgmental, 796 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,960 a non-judgmental way, 797 00:44:04,980 --> 00:44:09,480 I'm thinking about negotiating the play and then non-verbal ways to 798 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,400 communicate, I'm stop, or this needs to end or whatever. 799 00:44:13,470 --> 00:44:16,280 That I think of those two things as two separate things. 800 00:44:16,740 --> 00:44:20,360 But maybe this person was thinking of all of that kind of together. 801 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:25,040 I don't know. Um, but yeah, if you can't say it, like if we're talking about, 802 00:44:25,180 --> 00:44:27,600 I'm struggling to say what's on my mind mm-hmm. 803 00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:31,760 writing it down is our go-to option. Correct. 804 00:44:31,940 --> 00:44:33,880 And you do not have to be a professional writer. 805 00:44:34,420 --> 00:44:36,800 The spelling doesn't have to be correct. Mm-hmm. The grammar doesn't, 806 00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:37,560 you know what you have to do. 807 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,080 You have to make sure the other person can understand what you've cannot. Right. 808 00:44:40,190 --> 00:44:43,760 What you've tried to communicate. That's all you gotta do. So yeah. That's, 809 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:47,440 that's how I would say that. Um, I will let her out. 810 00:44:47,630 --> 00:44:48,840 Lola wants to go outside, 811 00:44:48,980 --> 00:44:53,840 so I will kill 30 seconds of time until JB can come back and 812 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:58,000 I can read this comment slash question, 813 00:44:58,860 --> 00:45:01,920 how slowly can I speak? There she goes. 814 00:45:03,140 --> 00:45:05,640 And how quickly will she want to come back in? Actually, 815 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:10,160 I think what Lola's doing is doing her daily lay on the back patio and 816 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:14,680 recharge, uh, with solar power. Yes. Because it's hot as blue blazes out there, 817 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:18,800 but she is sure shit on concrete. Right in the full sun with no shade. 818 00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,280 Happy as a clam. Mm-hmm. , like, just, let's do this. Mm-hmm. 819 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,040 . Okay, next one. Uh, 820 00:45:24,130 --> 00:45:28,920 would y'all do an episode responding to an email from a cricket about 821 00:45:29,070 --> 00:45:30,120 kink and their life? 822 00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:36,240 So you and I talked about mm-hmm. , it's not unheard of. 823 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:40,640 A couple of times we've gotten emails where the thing that was being asked 824 00:45:41,460 --> 00:45:45,600 was something that I had no doubt in my mind other people go through mm-hmm. 825 00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:49,720 and we turned the core question into whole, into topic, 826 00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:53,080 into episode. Yeah. And yeah. Into an episode. And then you and I had, oh, 827 00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:58,040 a little bit back, maybe a year, maybe less several months ago, 828 00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:02,760 talked about doing shorter episodes where we 829 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,280 solicited questions from people. Like they used a, 830 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,000 a special page on our website or whatever. 831 00:46:08,220 --> 00:46:12,840 And then we recorded episodes just answering that one question. Right. Um, 832 00:46:13,460 --> 00:46:18,120 and I can't remember why we didn't move forward with that, nor do I, 833 00:46:18,300 --> 00:46:20,160 did we just get busy? Did my, 834 00:46:20,900 --> 00:46:25,520 my spicy brain just go squirrel mm-hmm. and forget, I dunno. 835 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:30,760 . So what I would say is if, uh, 836 00:46:31,830 --> 00:46:34,800 anybody is interested in something like that where we did really short, 837 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,800 it would be probably podcast and video Yeah. 838 00:46:36,890 --> 00:46:41,680 Where we literally just took a question and pulled out any identifying details 839 00:46:41,700 --> 00:46:44,520 and went, here's the question we've been asked. And here, 840 00:46:44,540 --> 00:46:46,720 and it might be like less than 10 minutes, 841 00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:51,200 it might not y'all know us, but it might be. Um, 842 00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:53,720 I will say that from my experience, 843 00:46:53,970 --> 00:46:57,760 we're we've slowed down in getting questions submitted to us in email to us. 844 00:46:57,790 --> 00:47:01,200 I've got one in my inbox now that I just, I gotta have the, 845 00:47:01,980 --> 00:47:03,920 the emotional energy and the brain power to, 846 00:47:03,940 --> 00:47:07,960 to like look at and answer and whatever. So if you know that's you, I see you. 847 00:47:08,060 --> 00:47:10,800 I'm not ignoring you. I'm just trying to get to the right moment to answer. 848 00:47:11,150 --> 00:47:14,160 That has slowed down over time, which is fine. Mm-hmm. . Um, 849 00:47:14,660 --> 00:47:19,480 but I remember when we were getting lots and lots of questions in our 850 00:47:20,100 --> 00:47:20,933 via email. 851 00:47:21,950 --> 00:47:26,320 Reality is as much like the joke that is is said about, you know, 852 00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:27,960 Reddit questions on Reddit. 853 00:47:28,020 --> 00:47:32,800 The answer like 85% of the time is communicate. Yeah. 854 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,600 And so I would be hesitant to try to do that, 855 00:47:35,650 --> 00:47:38,560 where if all we're saying every week is, well you need to talk to your partner, 856 00:47:38,900 --> 00:47:42,720 you need to talk to your partner. So that might've been why I didn't like, 857 00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:44,800 'cause you and I had a conversation you went, yeah, 858 00:47:44,900 --> 00:47:47,360 I'd be kind of down for that. 'cause those mm-hmm. , you know, 859 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,560 wouldn't take a lot of time and we could fit that in or whatever. Right. 860 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:54,200 I don't, I dunno why we didn't move forward. So what I'm saying is, 861 00:47:54,220 --> 00:47:57,880 if it's something you'd be interested in little short episodes answering like a 862 00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,480 question, and I don't mean it would, it would not replace our weekly, like, 863 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,560 long conversation. It would be in addition to, uh, 864 00:48:02,790 --> 00:48:06,720 comment in the places where we are connected, social media, email, 865 00:48:07,350 --> 00:48:11,000 show notes, page, YouTube comments, whatever. And let us know what you think. 866 00:48:11,020 --> 00:48:13,920 Mm-hmm. . Okay. Here's, uh, an, 867 00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:18,480 I think this might be our last question. Okay. Okay. As a dom, 868 00:48:18,660 --> 00:48:22,680 how do I properly ask for a spicy pick from my submissive? 869 00:48:23,240 --> 00:48:25,600 I usually never ask for one. Love the podcast. 870 00:48:25,850 --> 00:48:27,080 Thank you for listening to the podcast. 871 00:48:27,540 --> 00:48:32,280 So how would you properly ask for a spicy pick from your sub? Mm-hmm. 872 00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:35,800 Hmm, hmm, hmm. Hmm. 873 00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,520 I would love to see a sexy picture of you. Yeah. 874 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,600 I think that that's kind of sexy. Thank you. . Um, 875 00:48:46,230 --> 00:48:47,320 when we were long distance, 876 00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,760 we actually negotiated that there were certain pictures I would send daily or 877 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,440 near daily. Right. That were definitely spicy. Mm-hmm. , 878 00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,280 I think it's in the app, the respectful, 879 00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:00,720 a approach you would take for asking for a kink thing or negotiating a k, 880 00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:01,840 I think kink thing. Mm-hmm. 881 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,480 let them know this is something you would like to see for them. 882 00:49:04,670 --> 00:49:08,680 Give them the opportunity to like go, no, no, thank you. 883 00:49:09,100 --> 00:49:10,640 I'm not down for that. Mm-hmm. . 884 00:49:10,940 --> 00:49:15,600 But I think that if you just approach them with just the mutual respect for 885 00:49:15,670 --> 00:49:18,160 them that you have as a partner mm-hmm. , 886 00:49:18,300 --> 00:49:20,560 and you've already got something negotiated in place. 887 00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:23,320 And remember that you can bring both partners, 888 00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,840 both sides of a slash can bring up a renegotiation at any point. Like, Hey, 889 00:49:27,310 --> 00:49:30,280 I've been, I would love to get these pictures of you. 890 00:49:30,860 --> 00:49:33,680 Is that something we can discuss? Right. Would you be comfortable with it? 891 00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:36,360 Mm-hmm. , can you know, if so, can we, I don't know. 892 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,080 Do you want them daily? Do you want them weekly? 893 00:49:38,260 --> 00:49:41,520 Do you want them when you ask and they can comply mm-hmm. , 894 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:42,920 however that would work for both. 895 00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:46,920 Partners. But, you know, be, be wary. The people say, oh, 10 nudes. 896 00:49:47,370 --> 00:49:48,100 Right. 897 00:49:48,100 --> 00:49:48,860 God, . 898 00:49:48,860 --> 00:49:52,440 Or, or the one that I've most recently experienced, 899 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,840 somebody sends a dick pic and they're like, oh, 900 00:49:54,860 --> 00:49:59,040 so you're gonna return the favor now. Right. This was not a favor, this. 901 00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:00,200 Was Right. Right, right. This was an. 902 00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:01,200 Assault on my eyeballs. 903 00:50:01,270 --> 00:50:05,640 This, this was not negotiated here. Uh, did not ask to see this. I'm a fan. 904 00:50:05,740 --> 00:50:10,640 Of penises, but I'm only a fan of the penises of people that who are connected. 905 00:50:10,900 --> 00:50:13,760 The penis is connected to that I like and have some kind of like, 906 00:50:14,390 --> 00:50:16,800 established rapport with mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. , 907 00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,000 I am will never be, 908 00:50:19,780 --> 00:50:23,400 I'm not that person who's gonna be real excited about random penises, 909 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:28,120 like jumping outta the bushes at me. Like that's not, that's No, no, 910 00:50:28,940 --> 00:50:29,773 no. 911 00:50:29,790 --> 00:50:32,120 Instead of a jack in the box, you get a penis in the box. 912 00:50:32,670 --> 00:50:37,160 Pops up like unfurls or hey, are they a grower? They just kind of, 913 00:50:37,270 --> 00:50:41,400 they just kind of, Hmm. Yep. Yeah. They inflate slowly. Like the the. 914 00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:42,680 Little wavy. Yeah. The little wavy. 915 00:50:42,700 --> 00:50:43,680 Man. But he start, 916 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:47,920 they always start out like collapse and they slowly go up and then they just 917 00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:52,600 wave back and forth. Yeah. uh, yeah. No. 918 00:50:52,860 --> 00:50:55,040 So now for many people, 919 00:50:55,050 --> 00:50:58,680 especially because of the connotation with how dick pics are sent, just mm-hmm. 920 00:50:58,720 --> 00:51:03,120 willy-nilly, pun intended. Uh, nope. It is, it is, 921 00:51:03,180 --> 00:51:05,480 it can be different. But when you're in an A, 922 00:51:05,500 --> 00:51:06,960 you're already in a power exchange. 923 00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:11,640 This person has some level of connection and partnership with you. You know, 924 00:51:11,780 --> 00:51:14,960 if you want a one-off, you just would really like to see them. 925 00:51:14,990 --> 00:51:18,720 Then you just ask. You just ask. And maybe you make it sexy and maybe you just, 926 00:51:19,420 --> 00:51:22,840 you know, plainly ask. Um, 927 00:51:23,020 --> 00:51:26,680 but they have to know and they have to feel like they have the ability to say no 928 00:51:26,900 --> 00:51:29,640 safely. Right. But if it's something you like, 929 00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:33,160 would like it to be a little bit more regular or part of your power exchange in 930 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,560 some way, then you bring it up as a, you would negotiate anything. Um, 931 00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:41,640 I don't think the automatic asking of a partner for a nude or a spicy 932 00:51:41,710 --> 00:51:46,040 pick is disrespectful. It's, it's in the, how you ask it's right. 933 00:51:46,220 --> 00:51:48,560 Is it a demand when you've never negotiated, 934 00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:52,880 like you and I negotiated that and so then because you negotiated that mm-hmm. 935 00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:54,920 , you could demand it 'cause it was part of the power exchange. 936 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:58,760 Yeah. But the first time was not a demand, it was a request. Mm-hmm. 937 00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,280 . And even when it was the sexy dom like demand thing, 938 00:52:02,700 --> 00:52:04,800 if something was going on and I could not comply, 939 00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:09,760 I always had the freedom to go, oh, nice. Uh, however, here's what's going on. 940 00:52:10,020 --> 00:52:14,840 Can we defer this? Right. Uh, can I do this later? Yeah. So as long. Yeah. 941 00:52:15,110 --> 00:52:18,520 Yeah. Yeah. I think it's, um, 942 00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:20,960 I think it's like anything, uh, 943 00:52:22,350 --> 00:52:24,800 like anything else you want to do in your power exchange mm-hmm. , 944 00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:29,080 just bring it up, talk to your partner, make sure they know they can, 945 00:52:29,740 --> 00:52:33,880 you know, not give consent to it safely, like mm-hmm. , you know, 946 00:52:34,070 --> 00:52:34,560 respect. 947 00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:35,560 Their boundaries. Right. 948 00:52:35,700 --> 00:52:37,360 But there's, yeah. 949 00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:42,360 And don't demand until you have their consent to demand. It can be sexy to have, 950 00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:46,600 like, you know, a pic demanded, right? 951 00:52:46,870 --> 00:52:50,080 When I know that that is a possibility, I've already had the opportunity to, 952 00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:53,600 you know, say Yeah, sure. Ask for those. That's great. Mm-hmm. . 953 00:52:54,060 --> 00:52:58,280 So, yeah. Okay. So those let double check. I wanna, 954 00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,600 I wanna make sure I'm double check. I'm right, but I think, ah, 955 00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:07,400 I don't know what I did. Okay. That was the last question. Yay for that. 956 00:53:07,900 --> 00:53:11,000 Um, thanks to everybody who submitted questions. Um, that's some good questions. 957 00:53:11,010 --> 00:53:14,600 There were some good questions. Yeah. I like doing q and a, um, 958 00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:20,640 episodes because y'all experience things that it's, 959 00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:24,240 we're not always thinking about or y'all are experiencing things that we talked 960 00:53:24,240 --> 00:53:28,000 about. I mean, we've been going in this, uh, podcast since 2015, 961 00:53:28,230 --> 00:53:30,680 like a long time. There's some old ass episodes. 962 00:53:31,100 --> 00:53:35,440 So it's nice to kinda have that brought up and out and we try to create lots of 963 00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:37,680 opportunities to ask questions. Um, 964 00:53:38,940 --> 00:53:43,440 the monthly Friday night live stream, that's a q and a. We did, yeah. 965 00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:47,840 I was getting my ass beat for money at last month's q and a and we were still 966 00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:49,160 trying to answer questions. Uh, 967 00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:52,320 I did notice that people were more interested in, uh, 968 00:53:53,740 --> 00:53:57,080 how hard can Kayla get hit with that thing than they were asking questions. 969 00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,520 But we did do both this month. There will be none of that, but we, 970 00:53:59,580 --> 00:54:02,960 we like to do that. And then we offer that as a perk of our Patreon membership. 971 00:54:03,020 --> 00:54:06,000 Not to plug that again, patreon.com/go the Lords. Um, 972 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:07,400 because we wanna answer questions. 973 00:54:07,720 --> 00:54:10,800 'cause we can come up with topics and things that are of interest to ourselves 974 00:54:10,900 --> 00:54:13,040 all day. Well, not all day long, but, you know. Yeah. 975 00:54:13,220 --> 00:54:16,440 And miss the mark on what people need to know. Wanna know. Um, 976 00:54:18,430 --> 00:54:19,263 yeah. 977 00:54:20,390 --> 00:54:22,080 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 978 00:54:22,910 --> 00:54:23,743 This, um, 979 00:54:27,620 --> 00:54:29,860 I had a thought, I was like, I'm going to say that thought. 980 00:54:29,860 --> 00:54:34,660 And then it just went, gone. Just dribbled out, down, out my brain, down my ear. 981 00:54:35,270 --> 00:54:39,980 There was a thing I was gonna say that was related to q and a. It's gone. 982 00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,980 Oh, I remember it now. I've even wanted to be one of those people to like, 983 00:54:44,720 --> 00:54:45,580 use reel. Like, 984 00:54:45,700 --> 00:54:48,900 'cause I like Instagram and I'm on reels and I don't do T TikTok because I don't 985 00:54:48,900 --> 00:54:52,660 wanna get kicked off. 'cause I said the wrong word once. Fuck that. Anyway, 986 00:54:53,450 --> 00:54:55,380 I've even thought of, oh, if people ask questions, 987 00:54:55,460 --> 00:54:58,620 I could answer them through an Instagram reel. But then I remember to, 988 00:54:58,620 --> 00:55:02,820 I'm not concise at all. Not at all. 989 00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:05,420 It would be a 10 or 15 minute. 990 00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:09,020 Let me tell you all the thoughts that come to mind with this question. 991 00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:11,940 All the caveats, all the nuances I personally can think of, 992 00:55:11,940 --> 00:55:15,420 which is never all of the nuance that there is. Uh, yeah. 993 00:55:16,850 --> 00:55:20,260 Yeah. So, just to, uh, 994 00:55:21,290 --> 00:55:22,940 just to reiterate one, 995 00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:27,740 if you are interested in that idea of us doing like little shorter podcast 996 00:55:27,780 --> 00:55:30,980 episodes or videos mm-hmm. , where we just answer a question, 997 00:55:31,530 --> 00:55:34,700 comment in the places where we're connected, let us know. Um, 998 00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:38,540 if you have other questions or as questions come up, 999 00:55:38,540 --> 00:55:43,060 just remember there are ways to ask those questions. Um, 1000 00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:48,940 and that is all I can think of that's related to the q and a. 1001 00:55:49,370 --> 00:55:50,300 Okay. And, uh. 1002 00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:52,340 You're too fuzzy to think of other things, aren't you? You're right. 1003 00:55:52,580 --> 00:55:53,700 I know you, I'm not even gonna try. 1004 00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,980 The, uh, the camera's too far away and, and you're just closer. 1005 00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:00,060 If y'all could just, and podcast listeners, you can't, 1006 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:01,860 you could just see his poor eyes . 1007 00:56:01,970 --> 00:56:03,620 They're probably like slits, aren't. 1008 00:56:03,620 --> 00:56:04,500 They? They, they're slits. 1009 00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:07,820 And normally your eyes are like bright and shiny and like alive and awake and 1010 00:56:08,020 --> 00:56:08,200 . No. 1011 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:09,140 No, no. 1012 00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:10,980 Not you. Poor thing. You poor. 1013 00:56:10,980 --> 00:56:11,813 Thing. 1014 00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:13,040 So. 1015 00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:13,873 So are we good? 1016 00:56:14,290 --> 00:56:17,740 Well, I can never answer that. Okay. But we're, 1017 00:56:17,910 --> 00:56:20,300 we're good to go on a bonus section. There. 1018 00:56:20,300 --> 00:56:23,920 You go. Okay. Okay. Keep it ky y'all keep. 1019 00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:27,920 It. We, in a way. We'll see you next week. It'll be weird. I dunno. 1020 00:56:37,090 --> 00:56:37,923 Daddy. 1021 00:56:38,220 --> 00:56:39,053 Yes, baby girl. 1022 00:56:39,300 --> 00:56:41,880 Can we talk to the crickets, please? 1023 00:56:44,350 --> 00:56:45,180 Sure. 1024 00:56:45,180 --> 00:56:47,520 Yay. . What would you like to say? 1025 00:56:47,630 --> 00:56:50,800 Well, I, you know, my, my fuzziness . 1026 00:56:51,020 --> 00:56:51,853 You were so fuzzy. 1027 00:56:52,580 --> 00:56:55,240 Um, poor thing. Trip to New York was, um, 1028 00:56:55,910 --> 00:56:59,080 emotionally exhausting. Mm-hmm. , it was, uh, 1029 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:03,480 physically exhausting. Mm-hmm. , uh, Monday, 1030 00:57:04,620 --> 00:57:08,720 uh, morning I was awake something like six 30 in the morning 1031 00:57:10,140 --> 00:57:10,973 and, uh, 1032 00:57:13,300 --> 00:57:17,800 did not get to sleep at all that night. Uh, 1033 00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:21,960 left for the airport at midnight for a 6:00 AM flight because. 1034 00:57:21,980 --> 00:57:23,400 Of the bad weather going. 1035 00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:27,480 Through New York because of bad, bad weather and, and, um, you know, 1036 00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:30,640 amount of time to, uh, uh, 1037 00:57:30,980 --> 00:57:35,600 amount of time to get through, you know, security and all that. Mm-hmm. 1038 00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:40,440 , uh, then the flight to, from New York back to Florida, 1039 00:57:41,450 --> 00:57:43,840 which, you know, flew into the Tampa Bay area, 1040 00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,840 then a two and a half hour drive home. 1041 00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:51,080 I know. It was so funny. I knew what the answer was, but I had to ask. 1042 00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:51,760 I was like, okay, 1043 00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:55,120 there's a lot going on on this Tuesday that you're coming home. Um, 1044 00:57:55,420 --> 00:57:59,200 one of those things being middle school orientation for the 13 year old. 1045 00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:02,560 I was like, and JB is usually very involved with that stuff. Mm-hmm. 1046 00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:05,320 , he goes to all of it. And I was like, I think I know the answer, 1047 00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:09,760 but do you wanna try and go to this ? I was like. 1048 00:58:10,780 --> 00:58:13,880 No, I going to that not this time. Sorry. And. 1049 00:58:13,940 --> 00:58:15,920 He was, I don't know when you fell asleep, 1050 00:58:16,140 --> 00:58:18,760 but when we got home and we had to run errands after it, so it was a while. 1051 00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:21,600 Mm-hmm. , we got home, he was out like a light, 1052 00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:26,640 snoring hard and then stayed that way. We got home at a little after four. 1053 00:58:27,900 --> 00:58:30,440 And you stayed that way till after five? 1054 00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:34,120 Pretty much till, yeah. A almost dinner time. And I. 1055 00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:35,880 Needed you to wake up because it was like, 1056 00:58:36,100 --> 00:58:40,480 I'm making an executive decision about dinner, but we ordered pizza, 1057 00:58:40,820 --> 00:58:43,840 but usually when we order pizza, we'll go pick it up to save the delivery fee. 1058 00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:44,880 And I was like, I don't, 1059 00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:48,280 I don't want to go pick it up and I don't think he wants to go pick it up, 1060 00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:49,800 but I do have to ask . 1061 00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,600 Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. , uh, 1062 00:58:52,820 --> 00:58:56,320 bad Cat. I did get New York style pizza. Um, 1063 00:58:56,540 --> 00:59:00,200 the only way I got it was I went and, you know, found, ordered by yourself. 1064 00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:04,160 Ordered it myself. But I did get it and I loved every bite of it. 1065 00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:08,200 I know it looked good. The pic, the picture you sent me, it looked great. 1066 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:13,120 . Oh yeah. It was the big, the big huge slices. And you know, 1067 00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:16,760 you fold it up and pick it up and they're, you know, the cheese just breaks off. 1068 00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:19,960 Did it have a cheese pull? Like, was that mozzarella? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 1069 00:59:20,140 --> 00:59:20,640 Oh yeah. 1070 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,320 Yeah. Yeah. We don't get that with Dominoes. 1071 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:23,473 . No. 1072 00:59:24,180 --> 00:59:24,640 No, no, no. 1073 00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,160 No. No Dominoes. No, no, no, no, no. Nope, nope, nope. 1074 00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:30,280 I will answer X's question in the live chat. 1075 00:59:30,380 --> 00:59:31,840 Has nothing to do with what we're talking about. I know. 1076 00:59:32,060 --> 00:59:37,040 But it's about our previous livestream where, uh, was, uh, impact play, 1077 00:59:37,220 --> 00:59:40,120 uh, demo demos for dollars excess. 1078 00:59:40,180 --> 00:59:45,000 How successful do we consider that last Friday night Hangout? Um, financially, 1079 00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:50,360 I mean, not bad. Mm-hmm. not bad. Uh uh, 1080 00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:54,960 mentally and emotionally pretty good. Um, yeah. We were, 1081 00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:59,920 I would not call it Subspace. Like I did not go into Subspace, 1082 00:59:59,980 --> 01:00:02,280 but I I was altered . Yeah. 1083 01:00:02,660 --> 01:00:06,080 You were, you were in an altered state. Yeah, I was in an altered state. Yep. 1084 01:00:06,180 --> 01:00:07,013 Yep. Yep, yep. 1085 01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:10,360 Um, and, and also, uh, 1086 01:00:10,980 --> 01:00:15,080 the end was the hardest. I've laughed in. 1087 01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:19,200 I mean, I can't even remember the last time I laughed that hard. Mm-hmm. 1088 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:20,720 the end for anybody who is, 1089 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:24,880 I highly encourage you could fast forward through stuff. Just if you go, 1090 01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:26,760 if you're not usually a YouTube person, or if you're like, okay, 1091 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:28,800 two and a half hours or whatever it was for the stream, that's a long time. 1092 01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:29,000 Yeah. 1093 01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,880 Just use a little slider thing and just fast forward through shit towards the 1094 01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:35,560 end when I'm like, okay, we're done, or we're about to be done. 1095 01:00:36,900 --> 01:00:41,080 And I have been hit with all manners of paddles and mm-hmm. 1096 01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:44,000 canes and like painful things. 1097 01:00:44,220 --> 01:00:45,280 Oh, my . 1098 01:00:45,490 --> 01:00:50,200 Taste you donates and says, okay, I think a pillow, right. 1099 01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:52,280 Because I got hit with a pillow. But I think taste, 1100 01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:54,240 you correct me in the left chat, you basically were like, okay, 1101 01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:57,360 this use a pillow. And it was the most absurd thing, 1102 01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:01,400 that I'd ever experienced that. 1103 01:01:01,500 --> 01:01:02,333 But it was fun. 1104 01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,160 I almost peed myself. . 1105 01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:05,560 Laughing so hard. . 1106 01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:10,640 I was crying from laughing so hard. Yeah. Um, yeah. 1107 01:01:10,900 --> 01:01:13,800 Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yes, that was, um. 1108 01:01:14,540 --> 01:01:17,920 Um, marina, I was not in New York City. Um, 1109 01:01:18,140 --> 01:01:22,720 the best and closest place to describe where I am, and even that, 1110 01:01:23,420 --> 01:01:27,680 uh, was a bit of a drive from where I was, uh, 1111 01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:30,120 would be to say I was near Poughkeepsie. 1112 01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:31,960 You were basically upstate New York? Yeah. 1113 01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:36,480 Yeah. Upstate New York about halfway between New York City and Albany. Okay. 1114 01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:39,480 Pretty much, pretty much half, pretty much Right at the midpoint. Like you're. 1115 01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:40,680 A little.in between those two. 1116 01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:42,120 Big dots between those two big dots. Yeah. 1117 01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:44,680 Gotcha. I'd have to look at a map that doesn't mean anything to me, but, okay. 1118 01:01:44,870 --> 01:01:47,040 Yeah, I mean, I saw some of the pictures you sent, 1119 01:01:47,110 --> 01:01:52,040 like there's where your family lives and like your cousin 1120 01:01:52,100 --> 01:01:53,680 who you stayed with and like mm-hmm. , your dad, 1121 01:01:53,700 --> 01:01:56,600 who you went to like, help out with stuff. Like, 1122 01:01:56,770 --> 01:01:59,520 we're talking acres of land. Yeah. 1123 01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:01,960 Like fields of land. 1124 01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:06,080 I like rural, y'all. I barely had any cell service up there. I know. 1125 01:02:08,180 --> 01:02:08,700 God. 1126 01:02:08,700 --> 01:02:10,120 Barely had any self service. 1127 01:02:11,620 --> 01:02:15,480 Oh my Lord. So, yeah. I'm glad you're back. 1128 01:02:15,620 --> 01:02:17,160 Mm-hmm. , I'm glad to be back. 1129 01:02:17,540 --> 01:02:18,373 Um. 1130 01:02:19,300 --> 01:02:22,120 Um, yeah, I went, I went up there to um, 1131 01:02:23,830 --> 01:02:27,920 kind of observe for myself some concerns that were going on with family up 1132 01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:31,640 there. Um, my concerns were 1133 01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,200 realized you were justified. You were justified, you were being. 1134 01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,033 Told accurate things. 1135 01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:40,000 I I, I was given accurate information. Um, 1136 01:02:40,140 --> 01:02:42,240 but all parties involved don't want to. 1137 01:02:43,060 --> 01:02:46,840 Nobody wants to take responsibility. No. Nobody wants to do the hard shit. Um, 1138 01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:50,360 nobody wants to admit they might be wrong about anything. Correct. Uh, 1139 01:02:50,620 --> 01:02:55,320 and you got the best and worst reminder of why you keep your 1140 01:02:55,720 --> 01:02:58,520 distance. Yeah. And so we will go back to distancing. 1141 01:02:58,660 --> 01:02:59,760 I'm, yeah. Yep. 1142 01:03:00,540 --> 01:03:02,240 And you came, you, I mean, 1143 01:03:02,580 --> 01:03:07,400 we were trying to help the kids understand without being 1144 01:03:07,470 --> 01:03:08,920 like, you know, 1145 01:03:09,060 --> 01:03:11,920 too invasive with other people's private details or whatever mm-hmm. 1146 01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:14,840 without like, not trying to traumatize them. Um, 1147 01:03:14,940 --> 01:03:16,800 but to try and like give them an idea of like, 1148 01:03:16,940 --> 01:03:21,080 why this was so stressful for JB and like, why this was just a hot ass mess. 1149 01:03:21,100 --> 01:03:25,440 And I, I might've thrown in. You think that we're crazy around here, but Yeah. 1150 01:03:25,580 --> 01:03:27,200 Let me tell you how good you got it. Mm-hmm. , 1151 01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:31,640 sometimes they need that kind of perspective. Okay. Um, and, uh, 1152 01:03:32,110 --> 01:03:36,360 it's, it, we it's a privilege to not be traumatized by your own family. 1153 01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:38,440 . Yeah. And. 1154 01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:38,790 Uh. 1155 01:03:38,790 --> 01:03:42,960 Yeah. And, um, we were talking about some of the things, and I, 1156 01:03:43,060 --> 01:03:46,040 and it was so funny, they picked up on some of the same details I did. 1157 01:03:46,380 --> 01:03:48,720 And without going into details that are not mine to share mm-hmm. , 1158 01:03:48,830 --> 01:03:53,280 just to, JB is the black sheep of the family. Rightly so. 1159 01:03:53,300 --> 01:03:56,760 And I'm so grateful for it because the rest of that flock can go flock 1160 01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:58,120 themselves. Right. Um, 1161 01:03:58,220 --> 01:04:01,880 but they treat him with such disregard that at meal times, 1162 01:04:02,300 --> 01:04:06,840 he would one, not be consulted with, Hey, do you eat this? Would you eat this? 1163 01:04:07,100 --> 01:04:11,480 And two, you know, while they would have enough food for everybody, 1164 01:04:11,750 --> 01:04:15,440 they would not tell him that food had even arrived. Hey, 1165 01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:16,880 come on in and eat. 1166 01:04:16,890 --> 01:04:18,560 Right. I, I was, and I'm. 1167 01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:18,830 Like. 1168 01:04:18,830 --> 01:04:21,880 Yeah, I, I was good enough to provide a, a full day's labor. 1169 01:04:22,980 --> 01:04:27,840 And all of the fucking emotional support and labor 1170 01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:31,800 that you do to like go No, no, no. You're right to be angry. No, no. You're, 1171 01:04:31,820 --> 01:04:35,000 you're right. That's, that's, that's incorrect. Mm-hmm. No, you're right. 1172 01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:36,040 That's toxic. Like, you're, 1173 01:04:36,140 --> 01:04:40,280 you're good to be the shoulder for fuckers to lean on. Right. But, 1174 01:04:40,340 --> 01:04:43,960 and I know it is, it's so, it's so weird. 'cause it feels like in, in 1175 01:04:45,630 --> 01:04:50,610 all, all of what was what goes on and that the dysfunction and the toxicity, 1176 01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:56,130 like not being thought about or remembered at mealtime seems like 1177 01:04:56,160 --> 01:05:00,970 such a small thing. And I don't know. I think part of it, obviously I love you, 1178 01:05:01,090 --> 01:05:01,930 I care for you. Mm-hmm. , 1179 01:05:01,930 --> 01:05:06,450 I'm also your service submissive who fucking makes sure you eat Also to add a 1180 01:05:06,450 --> 01:05:10,690 layer. I'm Southern. And the way we show politeness and our manners is, 1181 01:05:10,790 --> 01:05:14,090 and our care for other human beings is often through food. Like, 1182 01:05:14,550 --> 01:05:19,200 if you walk into some Southerners houses, you don't have to eat shit. 1183 01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:23,000 But we don't offer it to you. 'cause that's what we do. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. 1184 01:05:23,260 --> 01:05:25,880 But it was just, it was this teeny tiny little, 1185 01:05:26,980 --> 01:05:31,760 not even the most important example, but it, like, su excuse me, oh my God, 1186 01:05:31,780 --> 01:05:34,320 I'm hiccupy today. It summed it all up and I was like, 1187 01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:38,600 you're never going to deal with any of that without me again, 1188 01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:41,680 because one, I'll make sure your ass is fed . And two, 1189 01:05:42,190 --> 01:05:44,440 I'll tell a bitch what I really think and mm-hmm. 1190 01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:48,160 how and where and when and with what speed they can go fuck 1191 01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:51,360 themselves. So. 1192 01:05:52,100 --> 01:05:56,120 So on, on the upside of, of the trip, um, 1193 01:05:56,480 --> 01:06:01,320 I did get to reconnect with a cousin Yes. That I hadn't seen in, in many, 1194 01:06:01,350 --> 01:06:02,183 many years. 1195 01:06:02,190 --> 01:06:04,240 What, since you went to your grandmother's funeral, I. 1196 01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:04,870 Think. Yeah. 1197 01:06:04,870 --> 01:06:05,800 Yeah. And that was. 1198 01:06:06,300 --> 01:06:07,133 2010. 1199 01:06:07,310 --> 01:06:09,800 Yeah. So 13 years ago mm-hmm. Sure. 1200 01:06:09,980 --> 01:06:13,920 Mm-hmm. . So it, it was very nice to, uh, to reconnect with her. 1201 01:06:14,780 --> 01:06:17,360 Um, got to go to a, 1202 01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:21,040 a car show with her and her boyfriend. Mm-hmm. , uh, 1203 01:06:21,040 --> 01:06:23,600 which was a lot, a lot of fun. Mm-hmm. . Um, 1204 01:06:23,870 --> 01:06:26,200 what I didn't realize though is that, uh, 1205 01:06:28,700 --> 01:06:32,240 it was the one sunny day we had up there, full, 1206 01:06:32,270 --> 01:06:36,000 full on sun with no clouds, just total blue sky. Mm-hmm. . 1207 01:06:36,140 --> 01:06:40,960 And before I left, I, I cut my hair, shaved my head, uh, did not pack, 1208 01:06:41,260 --> 01:06:44,680 um, any of my skull caps or even a hat. Uh, 1209 01:06:45,540 --> 01:06:50,040 so I'm a little sunburned on the top of my head and, and crossed my forehead. 1210 01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:51,600 . Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . 1211 01:06:52,100 --> 01:06:53,640 Yes you are. Yes you are. 1212 01:06:53,830 --> 01:06:58,600 Yeah. Yeah. So that, that was interesting. Um, the, the weather, 1213 01:06:58,740 --> 01:07:03,160 the temperatures up there while I was there was absolutely beautiful. 1214 01:07:03,310 --> 01:07:05,200 Yeah. I'm jealous of that part. , um. 1215 01:07:05,740 --> 01:07:10,560 Mid, mid sixties, you know, Fahrenheit during, during the night, 1216 01:07:11,020 --> 01:07:13,680 uh, low eighties during the day, how. 1217 01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:15,600 Was the humidity? 'cause that's usually what's. 1218 01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:16,880 So what? Humidity. Wow. 1219 01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:17,840 Mean, I can't even. 1220 01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:21,040 Imagine. I mean, compared people were complaining Oh, sure. That it was, 1221 01:07:21,180 --> 01:07:24,160 for them. It was probably a lot. For, for them it was a lot. Um, 1222 01:07:24,420 --> 01:07:28,680 it was nowhere near the a hundred percent that we have, you know, 1223 01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:33,640 this time of the year. So, so to me, it, it was very nice. Um, 1224 01:07:34,820 --> 01:07:38,280 my cousin kind of looked at me a little weird because every night I would go sit 1225 01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:42,000 out on, on, on her deck mm-hmm. and, and you know, 1226 01:07:43,750 --> 01:07:48,200 they have a fairly decent sized piece of property, 1227 01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:53,200 almost two acres and, and it, uh, faces a protected wetland. Mm. 1228 01:07:53,670 --> 01:07:55,960 Okay. I didn't know that's what, what you were looking out on. 1229 01:07:56,220 --> 01:08:00,800 Um, you know, and, and I would sit out side on, 1230 01:08:00,900 --> 01:08:03,880 on the deck at night as the, as the sun was setting, 1231 01:08:04,540 --> 01:08:09,440 and I would just watch the fireflies and, and it was, it was wonderful. I. 1232 01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:13,880 Haven't seen fireflies in 20 years maybe. Mm-hmm. 1233 01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:14,753 . 1234 01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:15,873 Fascinating. Yeah. 1235 01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:19,480 . So I mean, that, that was nice and, 1236 01:08:19,660 --> 01:08:24,440 and made up for all, all the bullshit. Mm-hmm. I put up with. 1237 01:08:25,310 --> 01:08:28,040 Yeah. I don't, I mean, I know that it was a, a relaxing, 1238 01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:32,600 calm moment in a week of utter madness and chaos, but mm-hmm. , 1239 01:08:32,880 --> 01:08:36,280 I don't know that it makes up for some of that, but it was a, 1240 01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:39,240 it was a balm to your soul, is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yes. 1241 01:08:39,540 --> 01:08:41,960 So I'm glad you had that. So that when asked in live chat, 1242 01:08:41,960 --> 01:08:46,200 is Kayla warming up to the idea of moving north? No. Summering in the north. 1243 01:08:46,970 --> 01:08:48,280 Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. 1244 01:08:48,660 --> 01:08:51,720 But moving, no. 'cause once the snow arrives, I want to be gone. 1245 01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:57,000 I want to be so long gone. I want No, no, no. But yeah, 1246 01:08:57,340 --> 01:08:57,980 the, uh, 1247 01:08:57,980 --> 01:09:02,960 the whole going to where it is not like being on the 1248 01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:06,800 surface of the sun. Yeah. For a couple of months. I might be down for that. 1249 01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:10,280 I so poor J b's like, I'm never coming back up here for this family. 1250 01:09:10,470 --> 01:09:13,600 This is done. I'm done with this. I'm like, I was like, no, no, no, 1251 01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:18,480 I respect that. I'm with you. I got your back. Whatever you decide. That's fine. 1252 01:09:18,750 --> 01:09:19,583 However, 1253 01:09:19,710 --> 01:09:24,600 what you're describing of weather-wise and view wise sounds 1254 01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:25,080 delightful. 1255 01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:29,960 Are there redeeming qualities of the geographical location that one day 1256 01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:32,840 we might, we might go visit up there mm-hmm. mm-hmm. Like mm-hmm. 1257 01:09:32,880 --> 01:09:34,840 , I don't wanna go see those people either. However, 1258 01:09:35,290 --> 01:09:40,200 could we go to that part of New York and just pretend they don't exist and 1259 01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:42,320 still enjoy it? Is that an option? Because. 1260 01:09:42,550 --> 01:09:43,320 Yeah. Yeah. I. 1261 01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:47,080 Can't imagine it being August and not melting. I just, 1262 01:09:47,140 --> 01:09:49,640 my brain goes Right. I don't think that's. 1263 01:09:49,750 --> 01:09:53,240 Real. There, there, there are some, um, amazing wineries. 1264 01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:54,760 I don't drink the wine that are up there. 1265 01:09:57,760 --> 01:10:01,400 I mean, are they gonna serve me alcoholic sugar water? 1266 01:10:01,760 --> 01:10:04,640 'cause that's what I need them. So me , 1267 01:10:06,420 --> 01:10:08,880 can I just eat the grapes? Not the, I don't think, I don't know. 1268 01:10:08,880 --> 01:10:11,680 Do are grapes that you use for wine, like good for eating? Maybe not. 1269 01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:15,600 I don't know. Um, cheese and crackers, that's a thing that people do with wine. 1270 01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:17,800 Right. I could just eat the cheese and crackers. Right. Yeah. 1271 01:10:17,860 --> 01:10:22,280 And drink a diet coke. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Actually, 1272 01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:25,320 I'd like to vacation at your aunt's house. I near, I'm sorry, 1273 01:10:25,470 --> 01:10:27,560 your cousin's house and just sit on her back deck. 1274 01:10:27,590 --> 01:10:30,720 That sounds delight Bulb . Right. That sounds wonderful. 1275 01:10:31,180 --> 01:10:32,013 That's all I need. 1276 01:10:32,140 --> 01:10:36,000 Um, you know, and, and there and there are a lot of things, uh, 1277 01:10:36,100 --> 01:10:38,800 up there of historical significance, you. 1278 01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:41,360 Know? Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. That whole, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, no, 1279 01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:44,400 that makes sense. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. I dunno. Um. 1280 01:10:44,700 --> 01:10:45,960 So, you know, yeah. That's, 1281 01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:48,360 that's something that's not out of the question to go, 1282 01:10:48,540 --> 01:10:52,800 to go back up there for the, for the family. No, we're. 1283 01:10:52,800 --> 01:10:54,640 Not doing that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're. 1284 01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:58,880 Not doing that. Nope. I'm done. My, my hands are washed of that whole situation. 1285 01:10:59,150 --> 01:10:59,983 Yeah. 1286 01:11:00,410 --> 01:11:03,880 Can't help somebody who don't want to help themselves. Correct. Um, 1287 01:11:05,140 --> 01:11:08,480 so yeah. So while you've been dealing with that and you've been, 1288 01:11:08,540 --> 01:11:11,240 you were missed mm-hmm. , we, we helped down the fort pretty well. 1289 01:11:11,240 --> 01:11:13,840 Yeah. But it, we're in back to school prep, 1290 01:11:14,990 --> 01:11:19,440 fast and furious day of recording slash streaming is Wednesday, August 9th. 1291 01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:24,040 Tomorrow is the 13 year old's first day of school. 1292 01:11:24,420 --> 01:11:26,840 Eighth grade last year. Middle school. Mm-hmm. . 1293 01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:31,600 I do not know what that equivalent is for non, uh, Americans. I have no idea. 1294 01:11:32,380 --> 01:11:33,213 Um, 1295 01:11:33,460 --> 01:11:38,040 but it is the last year of what universally tends to be considered the most 1296 01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:41,800 hellish part of of growing up. Um, 1297 01:11:43,260 --> 01:11:46,920 and he's, we, we, 1298 01:11:49,270 --> 01:11:51,200 he's been making progress this summer. 1299 01:11:51,470 --> 01:11:55,640 He's gotten to decompress from the stress and anxiety and all the stuff he goes 1300 01:11:55,640 --> 01:12:00,480 through with just like trying to survive, you know? Mm-hmm. 1301 01:12:00,520 --> 01:12:03,880 middle school life. Um, and he is sort of blossomed a bit. 1302 01:12:03,880 --> 01:12:04,713 And like his, 1303 01:12:05,340 --> 01:12:10,280 the snarky teenage part of him is definitely out in full force , 1304 01:12:10,280 --> 01:12:14,040 which is kind of delightful. Um, and he's a little bit more relaxed. 1305 01:12:14,100 --> 01:12:16,120 And now we're prepping to go back to school. And like, 1306 01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:20,240 you just see him like tighten up. Um, and he is on a five, 1307 01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:24,600 he is got a 5 0 4 plan diagnosed. He's on the, the spectrum. 1308 01:12:24,700 --> 01:12:27,120 He is got a D H D, he does need help, 1309 01:12:27,340 --> 01:12:30,840 but not as much as maybe some other students do. 1310 01:12:31,860 --> 01:12:36,840 And I did not realize that it would be the guidance counselor who 1311 01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:41,320 wanted to like cock block me in terms of utilizing his 1312 01:12:41,320 --> 01:12:43,400 accommodations. I was like, look, uh, 1313 01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:46,880 one of his accommodations is he needs when possible, 1314 01:12:47,490 --> 01:12:49,560 prior notification to change, to, 1315 01:12:49,860 --> 01:12:53,120 to opportunity to transition from a thing to a thing. And well, look, 1316 01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:55,080 we live in the real world. We know that's not always possible, 1317 01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:57,400 but when it's possible, let's take advantage of it. And I was like, and I, 1318 01:12:57,460 --> 01:12:58,800 the final email was like, 1319 01:12:58,880 --> 01:13:03,560 I can think of no greater transition and change then the start of the fucking 1320 01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:07,880 school year. Can he ple? I didn't say fucking, I was polite. , I, 1321 01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:10,200 I want him to go to this orientation. 1322 01:13:10,230 --> 01:13:12,280 They were doing orientation for only new students. 1323 01:13:12,740 --> 01:13:16,920 No returning students were supposed to go. I was like, but I want my kid to go. 1324 01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:20,200 I would like my kid to go, I think this will help my kid. Can we do this? 1325 01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:21,560 Mm-hmm. . And then come to find out, 1326 01:13:21,790 --> 01:13:26,280 because some returning students had like a sixth grade 1327 01:13:26,590 --> 01:13:29,920 sibling coming in there were returning students there. 1328 01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:31,360 They weren't out in force. You know, 1329 01:13:31,390 --> 01:13:34,600 parents who like saw that it was just for new students. Right. Went okay. 1330 01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:37,800 I was like, why, why are you, why are you stonewell me here? Just let, 1331 01:13:37,890 --> 01:13:41,160 let's say yes. And then we get there and his teachers, the ones we met, 1332 01:13:41,380 --> 01:13:45,760 are delightful. Delightful. Talking to two of them. I, 1333 01:13:46,420 --> 01:13:50,400 I'm now at that age where everybody younger than me looks like, 1334 01:13:50,430 --> 01:13:53,720 like looks young. You just do, I'm sorry. Um, 1335 01:13:54,190 --> 01:13:59,040 he's got a couple of Gen Z young teachers who are like, one teacher went, yeah. 1336 01:13:59,040 --> 01:14:02,680 I had an I E P when I was in school. And so I, I un I get it. I understand. 1337 01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:06,000 And I'm, I'm here to help. And I just went, I, we had walked on campus, 1338 01:14:06,140 --> 01:14:09,160 I'd been like, oh my God, your heart grew three sizes. Didn't kind of, 1339 01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:12,760 'cause once I got like the weird, uh, from the guidance counselor, 1340 01:14:13,260 --> 01:14:16,720 and the only reason I got my way is, well, a couple things I did, 1341 01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:20,880 but one was I CC'd the person who's in charge of 5 0 4, 5 oh fours and IEPs, 1342 01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:23,800 and then quoted the 5 0 4. Like, it was very frustrating, but I was like, 1343 01:14:23,950 --> 01:14:25,560 like the moment we got on campus, I went, oh my God, 1344 01:14:25,560 --> 01:14:30,080 what if these teachers are like dismissive of that? Mm-hmm. , 1345 01:14:30,080 --> 01:14:34,440 I know what their legal obligation is, but we also know how people can be. No. 1346 01:14:34,530 --> 01:14:37,880 Every one of them that we talked about talked to and about, 1347 01:14:37,880 --> 01:14:41,880 like some of the kids' needs and like how I try to support without being, 1348 01:14:41,880 --> 01:14:44,920 you know, like too, like mm-hmm. in the way and whatever. 1349 01:14:45,310 --> 01:14:47,560 Like they were just, it was, it was delightful. 1350 01:14:47,620 --> 01:14:50,480 Now we'll see how that goes in practice once they're dealing with a hundred plus 1351 01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:53,680 students. I can only fucking imagine. I try to be really mindful of that, 1352 01:14:54,420 --> 01:14:59,240 but Yeah. Yeah. Um, and then we, 1353 01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:02,920 I accidentally caused him to have an existential crisis last night. 1354 01:15:03,860 --> 01:15:08,600 So we were talking about eighth grade, you know, how you do in eighth grade. 1355 01:15:08,620 --> 01:15:09,080 And we were, 1356 01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:12,120 what we were talking about was trying to find the methods and the tools for him 1357 01:15:12,120 --> 01:15:15,880 that would help him maybe have a better experience and keep up with things 1358 01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:16,960 better and blah, blah, blah. 1359 01:15:17,540 --> 01:15:21,040 And then we'd work on it together and all that good stuff. I said, you know, 1360 01:15:21,040 --> 01:15:26,040 unfortunately the way things work is how what happens in eighth grade tends to 1361 01:15:26,040 --> 01:15:29,320 dictate how you start high school and then how those first couple years of high 1362 01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:34,280 school go dictates what you're able to do and whatever. Later in high school, 1363 01:15:34,480 --> 01:15:35,920 I said, and, and sadly, 1364 01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:38,080 some of that will dictate some of your college experience. 1365 01:15:38,140 --> 01:15:40,360 And I was trying to do the, however, 1366 01:15:40,450 --> 01:15:44,840 there are many paths you can take and there's no right way. And you know, 1367 01:15:45,200 --> 01:15:49,200 whatever, whatever, whatever. last night at bed, 1368 01:15:49,940 --> 01:15:54,040 he was, I felt so bad for him. He was just so stressed out. 'cause he was like, 1369 01:15:54,720 --> 01:15:59,560 I don't wanna move into an apartment when I'm 18 and go to 1370 01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:03,000 college that way. I, I don't think I could handle that. And I kept going, well, 1371 01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:04,040 maybe you don't, you don't have to. 1372 01:16:04,040 --> 01:16:04,440 You don't have to. 1373 01:16:04,440 --> 01:16:06,920 Yeah. That's the path your brother took and that that's mm-hmm. , 1374 01:16:06,980 --> 01:16:09,160 we think that's gonna work really well for him. But you don't have to do that. 1375 01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:09,680 He goes, we. 1376 01:16:09,680 --> 01:16:11,240 We, we were talking to him trying, you know, 1377 01:16:11,240 --> 01:16:14,400 it's perfectly fine if you want to go to the community college here and stay 1378 01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:15,680 home, stay here. Right. You know, 1379 01:16:15,680 --> 01:16:17,840 you don't have to do what your brother's doing. I was like. 1380 01:16:17,840 --> 01:16:20,920 It's, you know, I said, and if you don't go to college, that's fine, 1381 01:16:20,940 --> 01:16:24,000 but it's best to have an idea of what you wanna do that doesn't require a 1382 01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:26,960 college degree. You know, blah, blah, blah. I said, but you got time. He's like, 1383 01:16:27,120 --> 01:16:29,240 I don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. I'm a baby. 1384 01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:32,320 I don't care what society tries to tell you. You don't have to know. 1385 01:16:32,460 --> 01:16:33,293 And it was just, 1386 01:16:33,820 --> 01:16:38,400 it was adorable and sweet and also like a little heartbreaking. And also like, 1387 01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:42,880 I think, I think I contributed to this, and I'm so sorry. 'cause it's the, 1388 01:16:44,220 --> 01:16:45,560 the push and pull of, 1389 01:16:45,900 --> 01:16:50,040 he needs enough time with information to make the transition 1390 01:16:50,900 --> 01:16:54,160 and it be, at least the stress of it be manageable. Yeah. 1391 01:16:54,340 --> 01:16:59,120 Versus too much information has him worrying about a future that has not 1392 01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:03,680 occurred yet. And I was like, oops. Oh my bad. 1393 01:17:04,100 --> 01:17:06,800 I'm sorry. Um, so yeah, 1394 01:17:07,110 --> 01:17:10,320 this week it's all about getting him started with eighth grade, I think. 1395 01:17:10,700 --> 01:17:13,560 I'm hoping it's a better year than previous years. 1396 01:17:14,080 --> 01:17:19,040 I think he is more confident this year going into this year than he has 1397 01:17:19,040 --> 01:17:20,520 been. Um, 1398 01:17:20,780 --> 01:17:23,400 and will take all that confidence he builds up in eighth grade and then throw 1399 01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:28,160 him into high school at ninth grade and it'll be delightful. Um, but yeah. 1400 01:17:28,540 --> 01:17:32,320 So, and then I was telling the 18 year old, he was like, I said, 1401 01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:35,280 there's stuff I know we still need to get for the apartment to get you settled, 1402 01:17:35,310 --> 01:17:36,960 blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, 1403 01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:40,680 but let me get your brother started in school and then I will turn all of my 1404 01:17:40,730 --> 01:17:43,080 focus to you. And he goes, Hey, 1405 01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:48,360 I can't wait to have all of your focus and attention. I'm like, look, 1406 01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:53,000 it's a little intense, but I get shit done. So just accept it. Right. 1407 01:17:53,180 --> 01:17:55,640 So yeah. It's, uh, 1408 01:17:55,950 --> 01:17:59,920 it's just things are finally like culminating mm-hmm. mm-hmm. 1409 01:17:59,960 --> 01:18:02,520 , which is what we've been waiting for all fucking summer. Yeah. 1410 01:18:03,100 --> 01:18:06,440 Uh, will I be a wreck when we abandon? I mean, 1411 01:18:06,440 --> 01:18:10,760 leave the 18 year old in his apartment. Yes. I will be. I know I will be. 1412 01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:12,960 I, I try, 1413 01:18:13,040 --> 01:18:16,080 I am absolutely trying not to spend too much time thinking about it now, 1414 01:18:16,080 --> 01:18:18,800 because every time I start thinking about what that day will be like, I start, 1415 01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:22,640 I cry. I just cry. I'm like, God damnit. But then I think, well, 1416 01:18:22,760 --> 01:18:26,760 maybe if I preemptively cry, , I'll hold it together. 1417 01:18:27,550 --> 01:18:31,040 . I don't think that's true. 1418 01:18:31,220 --> 01:18:34,960 That's never been true for me yet. But maybe, 1419 01:18:35,890 --> 01:18:40,760 maybe. Um, so yeah, I, uh, 1420 01:18:40,760 --> 01:18:43,520 yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 1421 01:18:44,560 --> 01:18:47,000 . Yeah. I mean we're, you know, there, 1422 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:49,760 there's some things we're looking forward to mm-hmm. , um, 1423 01:18:50,140 --> 01:18:52,680 you know, with him being, being up there, um, 1424 01:18:54,040 --> 01:18:56,760 apparently in September they do a, a family. Yeah. You and. 1425 01:18:56,760 --> 01:18:57,600 I have to talk about that. 1426 01:18:58,140 --> 01:18:58,973 Oh. 1427 01:18:59,070 --> 01:19:00,680 It's very expensive. 1428 01:19:01,060 --> 01:19:02,160 Oh, is it really? Yeah. 1429 01:19:02,160 --> 01:19:04,160 It's very, they do a, for the marching band, 1430 01:19:04,160 --> 01:19:05,000 because he's gonna do the marching band. 1431 01:19:05,000 --> 01:19:07,800 They do a family night and they do actually a family weekend. So like mm-hmm. 1432 01:19:07,840 --> 01:19:09,160 the Friday night before a game, 1433 01:19:09,160 --> 01:19:12,000 you get to go see them rehearse the Saturday morning before the game. 1434 01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:14,560 You get to see them rehearse. Then they do a tailgate thing, 1435 01:19:14,560 --> 01:19:17,880 which sounds like a ring of hell to me. . And then you can, 1436 01:19:18,350 --> 01:19:22,440 they have special seating for band parents, um, in a specific section. 1437 01:19:22,510 --> 01:19:23,120 When you go to, 1438 01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:26,240 you can go to the football game and get a specific seating and be near the band 1439 01:19:26,240 --> 01:19:29,360 and whatever. And we were like, yes, we're on it. 1440 01:19:29,540 --> 01:19:31,920 And then I finally got the kid to send me the link for the information, 1441 01:19:31,980 --> 01:19:36,600 and then I priced the tickets per person to do the 1442 01:19:36,800 --> 01:19:38,200 whole extravaganza. 1443 01:19:38,900 --> 01:19:43,320 And it's like a hundred dollars per person. Oh. For the weekend. 1444 01:19:43,460 --> 01:19:47,200 Now there are things you can do that don't cost money. Yeah. Um, but yeah, 1445 01:19:47,240 --> 01:19:51,840 I was like, oh, okay. Oh, this event is only for parents who have actual money. 1446 01:19:52,390 --> 01:19:56,840 Okay. Okay. This, this might not be for us, so we're gonna figure it out. We. 1447 01:19:57,180 --> 01:19:58,920 We, we have other things to talk about. 1448 01:19:58,980 --> 01:20:01,240 And I was gonna say after dinner tonight, you know. 1449 01:20:01,240 --> 01:20:03,440 That's, we, we need to have like a, like a, the, 1450 01:20:03,590 --> 01:20:06,560 it's so funny because not you didn't have service. Right. 1451 01:20:06,580 --> 01:20:11,160 And you needed to focus on what was going on in front of you. Right. And also, 1452 01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:13,840 I don't like to talk about some of the nitty gritty things of like business and 1453 01:20:13,840 --> 01:20:17,480 finances or whatever, when like, from that kind of distance. Yeah. So like, 1454 01:20:17,480 --> 01:20:19,600 I've been storing up all these things . 1455 01:20:19,950 --> 01:20:22,640 Yeah. And then I was trying to wait for him to be arrested. The funny, 1456 01:20:22,660 --> 01:20:26,680 the funny thing about it is, is you know, all of the times, you know, 1457 01:20:26,680 --> 01:20:30,600 either she's gone away or, or I've gone away on a thing. Um, you know, 1458 01:20:30,600 --> 01:20:33,920 we never thought about FaceTiming. And this time when I left I was like, 1459 01:20:34,140 --> 01:20:37,720 you know, we're, we're gonna FaceTime. Okay. And, uh, you know, it was like, 1460 01:20:37,750 --> 01:20:40,120 okay. And you know, no fucking service. 1461 01:20:40,500 --> 01:20:42,200 You did FaceTime me one night, one night. 1462 01:20:42,420 --> 01:20:42,640 And. 1463 01:20:42,640 --> 01:20:45,960 Then, so it started out, I was in the living room, the lights are on, 1464 01:20:46,030 --> 01:20:48,800 life is good. Mm-hmm. . And then we kept FaceTiming. 1465 01:20:48,800 --> 01:20:52,160 Once I figured out what that sound was coming from my phone after he called me, 1466 01:20:53,330 --> 01:20:55,400 y'all can't take me anywhere, . Um, 1467 01:20:55,740 --> 01:20:58,000 and so we did talk and I was in the living room, and then I was mm-hmm. 1468 01:20:58,040 --> 01:20:59,840 . Mm-hmm. Putting, like, shutting down for the night, 1469 01:21:00,950 --> 01:21:05,120 take care of the cats, take care of the dog, take a night. And then we get in, 1470 01:21:05,220 --> 01:21:07,720 go, I go into the bedroom and I'm like, I'm ready to lay down and go to bed. 1471 01:21:07,720 --> 01:21:09,160 It's that time of night. , 1472 01:21:09,570 --> 01:21:13,120 we're on FaceTime and I lay down in the bed to, 1473 01:21:13,120 --> 01:21:14,280 because I know when we get off the phone, 1474 01:21:14,420 --> 01:21:17,720 I'm gonna go to sleep and turn the light on, and I turn the light off. 1475 01:21:17,740 --> 01:21:18,920 And then it was just. 1476 01:21:19,500 --> 01:21:21,320 I'm looking at a black screen, . 1477 01:21:21,980 --> 01:21:24,960 The disembodied voice coming out . I was like, oh, 1478 01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:27,200 I guess I didn't think that right. But. 1479 01:21:27,200 --> 01:21:29,480 I'm tired. You don't do this very well, don't do this. Right. 1480 01:21:30,030 --> 01:21:30,500 It's, uh, 1481 01:21:30,500 --> 01:21:34,360 we knew it was gonna go off the rails when you called me like a regular phone 1482 01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:36,680 call mm-hmm. , you're like, hello? Like, hello, I'm ready to talk. 1483 01:21:36,860 --> 01:21:37,693 And then I hear. 1484 01:21:38,750 --> 01:21:40,800 Hang on, I'm gonna try something. I didn't. 1485 01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:43,600 Hear that. Oh, okay. I did not hear that. What I heard was the, 1486 01:21:43,860 --> 01:21:47,200 the ring sound of a FaceTime call. 1487 01:21:47,430 --> 01:21:48,280 Okay. And I was. 1488 01:21:48,280 --> 01:21:52,400 Like, it rang like two or three times. I'm like, what is that noise? 1489 01:21:52,630 --> 01:21:57,600 What is that? I finally pull my phone away and I look and I go, 1490 01:21:58,160 --> 01:22:00,840 I dunno what's happening, but I think I know what's happening, 1491 01:22:00,840 --> 01:22:02,760 but lemme just hit this button. Then I went, 1492 01:22:02,940 --> 01:22:05,360 and then I was just looking up your nose and you were looking at my nose. 1493 01:22:05,680 --> 01:22:07,320 , we are those people. And I'm went, oh. 1494 01:22:07,430 --> 01:22:08,640 Yeah. Yeah. That's. 1495 01:22:08,900 --> 01:22:11,440 That's the FaceTime ringtone. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. 1496 01:22:11,480 --> 01:22:15,720 didn't know. Didn't know. Um, 1497 01:22:17,180 --> 01:22:18,120 so yeah, it was. 1498 01:22:18,430 --> 01:22:19,263 Yeah. 1499 01:22:19,620 --> 01:22:22,080 It was comical because mm-hmm. , we mm-hmm. , 1500 01:22:22,100 --> 01:22:23,080 you can't take us anywhere. 1501 01:22:23,210 --> 01:22:25,040 Right. I know. I know. 1502 01:22:25,500 --> 01:22:25,720 So. 1503 01:22:25,720 --> 01:22:26,600 Yeah. But anywho. 1504 01:22:26,820 --> 01:22:31,120 That's us. Yeah. That's, who knows what, what other, uh, 1505 01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:35,960 things will have happened by the time we do the live stream, uh, on August 18th. 1506 01:22:36,700 --> 01:22:39,040 Uh, I just keep saying that and saying that. 1507 01:22:39,400 --> 01:22:43,640 'cause we got some things coming up. Mm-hmm. . Oh, 1508 01:22:43,680 --> 01:22:46,560 I think I meant to put that in the top with the announcements and I forgot. 1509 01:22:46,820 --> 01:22:50,600 We are gonna celebrate our podcast anniversary this year. That's right. Uh, 1510 01:22:50,750 --> 01:22:53,800 I've got to get it organized. We have so many things we're gonna give away. 1511 01:22:53,880 --> 01:22:55,640 We're gonna do a giveaway, by the way. Mm-hmm. , uh, 1512 01:22:56,020 --> 01:22:59,560 so many things, . Um, and I, of course, 1513 01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:03,320 I like got wild with it. And so now it's a, 1514 01:23:03,350 --> 01:23:05,000 I've gotta figure out how best to, 1515 01:23:05,070 --> 01:23:09,520 to organize the signing up for the giveaway part so that, 1516 01:23:09,520 --> 01:23:13,360 because there's so many things, we wanna have lots of winners of prizes. Mm-hmm. 1517 01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:14,480 , it's not, we've done in the, 1518 01:23:14,480 --> 01:23:15,800 we've done it so many different ways in the past, 1519 01:23:15,800 --> 01:23:19,280 we've done big prize packs and then we've done individual products for 1520 01:23:19,280 --> 01:23:23,960 individual winners. And I went, Hey, what if we had a, 1521 01:23:24,140 --> 01:23:27,920 an item to give away a winner for every year we've had a podcast . 1522 01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:30,600 And actually I think we're gonna have more than that. Um, but then I was like, 1523 01:23:30,620 --> 01:23:32,040 oh, shit, I gotta organize this. 1524 01:23:32,220 --> 01:23:37,200 And I was supposed to do that while JB was gone. Uh, spoiler. I did not, uh, 1525 01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:41,200 . So I gotta do it technically on the week we're on break, 1526 01:23:41,220 --> 01:23:43,600 so it's ready to go, but, and I'm like, 1527 01:23:43,620 --> 01:23:46,760 now I'm waffling on what day I want it to start. Mm-hmm. . Uh, 1528 01:23:47,200 --> 01:23:52,040 'cause our actual, uh, anniversary is I think the 19th of August. 1529 01:23:52,040 --> 01:23:52,520 Yeah. Yeah. 1530 01:23:52,520 --> 01:23:54,120 Sounds about right. So, I. 1531 01:23:54,120 --> 01:23:58,040 Don't know. We'll figure it out. . Yeah. Um, but it's always, 1532 01:23:58,040 --> 01:24:00,440 we're chaotic as fuck mm-hmm. because that's who we are. 1533 01:24:00,650 --> 01:24:01,483 Right. 1534 01:24:01,620 --> 01:24:04,240 And yes, I could keep talking and, you know, are clearly ready for me to be. 1535 01:24:04,240 --> 01:24:06,400 Done talking. I'm, I'm, I'm fading. Yep. 1536 01:24:06,670 --> 01:24:11,440 Yeah. Were you ever fully non faded? Un faded? No. 1537 01:24:11,490 --> 01:24:12,680 Fully in focus. I've. 1538 01:24:12,680 --> 01:24:14,320 I've got a lot of sleep to catch up on. 1539 01:24:14,460 --> 01:24:18,880 Yes. you.you asked how many years of the podcast? 1540 01:24:19,340 --> 01:24:23,400 Uh, from 2015 to now eight. Does it count as eight years? Nine years? Yeah. 1541 01:24:23,620 --> 01:24:25,040 The math would say eight years, 1542 01:24:25,180 --> 01:24:28,560 but I think if you count it on your finger it's nine years. I don't, 1543 01:24:28,840 --> 01:24:32,960 somebody please do the math for me then. Tell me , please tell me. 1544 01:24:33,670 --> 01:24:37,520 Okay. We're gonna go 'cause you have clocked out. Yep. And I don't blame you. 1545 01:24:37,630 --> 01:24:39,800 Okay. Okay. Thanks y'all for staying. 1546 01:24:39,980 --> 01:24:41,320 To the Yeah, thanks for joining us and, uh. 1547 01:24:41,710 --> 01:24:42,310 Very end. 1548 01:24:42,310 --> 01:24:44,040 Yeah. Yep. Hanging with us. Yep. 1549 01:24:44,380 --> 01:24:47,120 And letting us be our chaotic selves. Mm-hmm. , uh, 1550 01:24:47,740 --> 01:24:50,960 no episode next week, but we'll have a stream on, lemme say it again. 1551 01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:55,880 August 18th, 9:30 PM Eastern. Um, for podcast listeners, 1552 01:24:56,260 --> 01:24:58,640 you might get a little like blurby thing. 1553 01:24:58,640 --> 01:25:01,240 We might slip into your feed 'cause we got stuff coming up. 1554 01:25:01,300 --> 01:25:06,000 We wanna be able to announce, but we'll see. Okay. Bye. 1555 01:25:06,220 --> 01:25:06,440 Bye.