Smart today, we are talking about how weaker
executive functioning skills can lead to challenges while
making decisions. In episode 2 74, the silent
suffering of problem solving. We addressed what we
mean when we talk about problem solving and
why it's so important In this episode, we
are further going into this idea, and we
are talking about why decision making is often
very most emotional and difficult for learners who
have weaker executive functioning skills and what they
can do about it. If you are interested
in having your learner, have these kinds of
with an educational therapist or you're interested in
having these types of conversations and support from
an educational therapist, do not hesitate to sign
up for a phone call My practice is
cap educational therapy group. And you can sign
up for a phone call at WWW
dot cap at therapy dot com. We specialize
in learners fifth grade through adulthood with executive
functioning skills challenges. Steph practice is my ed
therapist, and her website is WWW
dot my therapist dot com. You can sign
up for her phone call on her website
as well and her practice does all the
things including letters who struggle with executive skills
challenges. We both work with learners locally and
now emotionally bold practices. So don't let your
location, be a stock app for you. Also,
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dig in. You want to learn faster,
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Is just that the answer you have to
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smarter, the educational therapy podcast.
The Hi, Smart Welcome to episode 319
of Learned Smarter. The educational therapy podcast. I'm
Stephanie Pitt. And I'm rachel kat. And today,
we are talking about decision making
and executive functioning skills.
Alright. Let's dig into it. In this episode,
we're gonna kinda break... Our ideas down into
2 different
kind of themes, which is Yeah. By specialty.
Like being like, Okay. This is the order.
Car We're gonna talk about why decision making
is so impacted by weak executive functioning skills
to challenges.
And then we're gonna talk about what you
can do about it. Okay. So the why
decision making. There is a huge fear of
making a mistake. Or doing it differently than
somebody else. Yeah. That can cause some serious
paralysis.
And then therefore, no decision is made at
all. You just avoided it entirely. This can
be a real reason why learners don't initiate
a task. Oh, for sure. It's because they
can't even make a decision about what topic,
for example,
They want to do something. So let's say
they have to make fights,
and they have to pick a topic. That
enough is there's options, and they wanna pick
the right 1.
And
they have a fear of making in the
mistake, and then they also have prior experience
making mistakes. Mh. So they just have complete
paralysis around and they don't do anything, or
they make a decision, they get 75 percent
of the project done and then decide they're
gonna switch topics.
So that is...
A major
major component of this. What else stuff? Not
having a plan.
Not having a plan at all
causes
it to be really hard to make a
decision. And, you know, I see this a
lot. There's a certain game that I play
with kids
it's where you move the tiles and copy.
It's like a little puzzle, and we race.
It's called Rubik's race, 1 of them. There's
2 different versions of it. But that's 1
of the games. And
I always play with the kids and just
tell them to go.
And
I beat them just before they even have
1 row of colors. And that's because you
probably have a plan of going top to
bottom. A hundred
percent and left to right. Yeah. So after
they look at be shocked that I have
beat them
by so much time and they haven't even
gotten past the first row. I say, what
was your plan?
And they look at me, Mh. Like, I
am speaking a different language.
Mh. Like, I didn't even know I was
supposed to have a plan, and I was
like, okay. I do this all the time.
Let's make a plan. Mh. What makes sense.
And now that you've made the plan, right?
The plan being go top to bottom left
or right. Let's try using your plan and
see how it goes. Well, now they're much
more in the race, and sometimes they beat
me most of time not. But... Like, if
you haven't signed up for an email, go
ahead and sign up on our website WWW
dot learn podcast dot com. Why don't we
put both games? We'll give you links for
both games in the email for this episode.
Okay. Yeah. I'll take a picture today. Sounds
good for Smart, the next
reason why
decision making
paralysis can really come into play is fatigue.
And this is the mom is something that
I really experienced of, like, I just...
Sometimes we need to have a plan for
what we're having for dinner because by the
time,
04:30 rolls around, and I need to start
making dinner,
I have no juice going towards my decision
making, which reminds me gonna have Adam d
for us some chicken right now.
I'm sending him a attacks.
Guys, we're having chicken for dinner tonight. Okay?
I'm having chicken too. I try to pull
out the stuff to def frost
when I'm making current dinner for tomorrow dinner.
That's how I do it. Great strategy stuff.
Okay. I like it. And you know what
maybe we'll have salsa chicken tonight stuff. Oh,
I do love a salsa chicken. Yeah. So
if you'd like to make salsa chicken, what
you do is you put the chicken breast.
In the instant pot. Yeah. And it could
be frozen. I don't like it frozen. I
like it to be frost.
Because then it sticks together, and then wait...
I understand. But in a pinch, it'll work.
And a pinch, you can make it work,
and then you just dump the sauce on
top and set it for, like, 8 minutes.
And then what I like to do because
I like to make extra dishes.
Dirty is I'll throw it in my saving
mixer. And it'll shred the chicken. Yeah. Love.
Thank you Instagram for teaching teaching me shortcut
that creates for dishes for adams to wash.
But I don't wanna got there with a
fork. You know what I mean? Okay. Now
that we have the strategy for planning dinner.
Stuff, and I will... At some point figure
out a strategy for Laundry, but I really
think that solution just gonna be buying more
clothes. Like
We've been a longtime time listener of the
podcast, You know, we've all paid doing laundry.
We don't... Hate doing the laundry part. Hate
the putting away the log Putting an away.
Yeah. Okay. So what are the other ways
that decision making is impacted by week ef
skills. Well, like we talked about there's the
planning and prioritizing.
So what do you need to do when
and how important is it. Right? If you
only have so much juice or so much
gas in your gas tank and you're using
it for things that don't matter right now,
then you're wasting gas.
And so
you need to make sure that you are
focusing on the things that are important and
knowing what's important. It's part of the decision
making. Mh. So that is hard in itself.
For a lot of people.
So
that's definitely a skill that needs to be
practiced.
But then the other thing is sometimes,
we over complicate things and over complicate decisions.
Yep. As Rachel likes to say you're torturing
yourself with this decision.
That happens to me. It happens to her.
U. And we both tell each other that
when we're doing it. I'd we say about
ourselves, like, hundred percent. This is what's going
on and torturing myself over it, and the
other person is just, like, just do it.
Sometimes which is just what happened yesterday. Right?
I need a new laptop. Yep. We've talked
about it multiple times. It's a lot of
money, and I didn't wanna pull the trigger.
And finally yesterday I was like, Steph, I
need to buy the new laptop. Yeah. Because
yours is not working. I know. I know.
You can't live like that anymore. No. I
can't. And then I even complimented myself yesterday.
I remember. I was like, I can't believe
how quickly I did that without having and
hauling, And you're like, we've already have been
hot for weeks about that. I was like
It's facts, guys. Yeah. So here's the thing.
Let's use your laptop as an example because
there are so many decisions
on buying that laptop on exactly what model,
how many this to get, how many of
that to get? Yeah. That slowed down the
process that we've already been having this conversation
for several weeks. I let me be clear.
I don't make any of those decisions. You
just tell me
I know. Yeah. But even so,
it became
overwhelming. It's a lot. Yeah. And it's like
I want you to be on facetime with
me or on... I know. And I couldn't,
and, yeah, I know. Because what I'd like
to do I'd like to share my screen
and just have views for me what to
click.
And so you'd like, step me a screenshot,
and then I sent you a screenshot back
and, like, is what's right and, like, it's
a big purchase. Okay.
So, like again, my decision paralysis around that
was I had a fear baking mistake because
it's a lot of money to make a
mistake. A hundred percent, But then I just
told her to get exactly what I got.
So that worked. Yep. You didn't have to
think about it. You already made the decision,
which is coming up in or, what do
you do about this? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Alright.
So let's talk about that. What do you
do? Well, you gotta minimize your decision making.
Mh. So you have to make simple decisions
along the way. Where do things live?
Okay. I'm deciding this lives here, and now
it's gonna live here forever. You have to
know your rules about things. So Seth just
shared 1 of her rules about making dinner.
She takes out. The next night's dinner. Mh.
While she's making the current type. Genius. Simple.
Mh. Now I have a new role that's
easy for me to maintain and then everybody
and the family can sort of know what's
coming up, which will help. Yeah. You make
those rules along the way, and sometimes you
cannot do this in isolation. No. It is
very difficult to, like, sort of do these
things
alone and without that partnership with either a
partner, the 1 that you and I have
a friend Mh. Or an educational therapist. So
this can really help make life
simpler. Yeah. Is to have someone come in
and either
identify the rule that you've already established, but
you haven't, like, crystallize it. Yeah.
Except, did you know that that was a
role for you that you're gonna def for
the next night's dinner at the time Or
Been a couple of times where I've had
to, like, go by
some sort of protein because I didn't def
it in time. And so then I was
like I really need to make this a
routine.
And when am I thinking about food when
I'm cooking?
So
I say, okay. So what should we have
for dinner tomorrow? And
then I pull it out, and that has
been working
phenomenally well. So it just, I sort of
You just never told me. I just never
told you. It just sort of, like happened.
Mh.
But that's what I'm saying is, like, it's
very difficult to, like, now that you have
verbal it, it becomes even more of a
rule and you can also teach other people.
Mh. This is the rule. So other people
in your households can help remind you, hey
we need to make a decision about dinners
tomorrow because this is when we make the
decision about dinner. I have enough energy when
I'm cooking to think about, okay, tomorrow. I
have these ingredients because I'm, like, looking at
them. So I know this is what I'll
make tomorrow awesome.
So it's setting up those routines. It's having
those small wins.
And for me having the small win about
hey, We're gonna decide dinner tomorrow night. I
could also
mobilize the team around that. Mh. And making
sure we have what we need in the
house. Yeah. And then...
Because I have to tell you, like, a
week meal plan. My sister lot does that.
And She'll and be like, okay. This is
what we're having every night so we need...
I can't do that. I really circle with
that. I know what our typical groceries are.
I can pull it together based off what
we have. But okay. I know for sure
these 2 meals, but then the other fee
are gonna be a free for all or
leftovers. So we're still working it out, and
it's so cute. Now I'm also stuff because
Elliot,
we use the language what's on the menu.
A lot in our house. So, like, u.
He'll say to me Like, Mommy, what's on
the menu for lunch because he gets lunch
and dinner confused a lot. Mh mh. So,
like, yesterday, we were driving home from school
and he's gonna go have lunch. He goes,
I wanna go out for dinner. I'm like,
I think you mean lunch.
It's so funny. Cute my little 3 year
old months to go out because, you know
why, He wants French fries. Yeah. Of course.
It did... That we went to a restaurant.
We were at Betty Hana. You Bet Hana.
We went to Betty Hana.
The day before my birthday. So like, in
April. Yeah. I told you. I'll send you
pictures and videos I should have. Sorry. Because
it's really cute when they were doing the
onion volcano. I love... We were there with
my nephew. It's like the camera didn't know
where to go. Because there were too many
kids that... I'm sorry, guys. My brother has
a son that's in between the ages of
my boys. So, like, little pack of dudes
are growing up together. And oh, they don't
serve fries and Bet Han. And he could
not
I was like, baby they don't they don't
have fries at this restaurant. So now every
time,
we go out to you, which is, like
not that often.
Because it's just easier with an almost 3
year old an almost 1 year old to
stay at home. Yeah. Mommy, it's a French
fry best restaurant.
He's like now planning.
His menu.
Anyway, what's the last thing you wanna do
around this is you wanna create language and
you wanna crystallize it. Yeah. Just like the
way you crystallize your general. So mh. You
wanna actively start rewriting the narrative of failure
talking about how you're gonna recover, if you
do make a mistake with the choice. And
if you haven't listened to episode 03:17
where we talk about failing forward and making
a plan for failure. It's just a couple
weeks ago and we'll go ahead and link
that episode and the show notes this episode
because that's a good compliment to this.
If you wanna actively
increase meta recognition,
so that the order gets to the point
of, like, oh, I'm making a decision. I
have a hard time making a decision because
of XYZ,
and I'm just gonna move forward even though
I feel uncomfortable because of XYZ. Yeah. And
that's okay. Mh. That's okay. So I think
just wrapping up all of this. Decision making
really is a huge
executive functioning task.
And it takes a lot of skill
is important to note when you see your
learner or yourself,
struggling with paralysis.
And
not getting anything done it. It's looking like,
you know, the hated term of laziness or
avoidance or
Anything like that, You know, it's just about
knowing that that is taking a lot of
gas and so how can we help have
a more fuel efficient brain.
Completely. And I love the fact that you
pointed out that
decision making paralysis
can
look like other things. Mh. And this is
where we always come back to, like, our
thief statement, which is when it's easy, a
learner will do it. And they want to
please the adults in their lives and get
that positive feedback and reinforcement. When they're not
doing something,
we have to get curious about it.
Because sometimes they can just be the decisions
are really hard and addressing that can be...
A huge relief for everyone and release the
valve of the pressure, the pressure valve. For
sure, You know, I wanna put in there.
I just had a conversation yesterday with a
longtime podcast listener. Yeah. Who was talking about
how
her son was struggling with writing sentences. He's
in first grade and writing sentences.
Sure. And when we discussed it a little
bit more. It really came down to, he
doesn't know what to write about. It's not
that he can't... Do it per s. It
that he's has to make the decision about
what it's gonna be about, and that is
causing paralysis. Yes. There are other things going
on, but that is also a huge part
of even for a little dude,
thinking of what they want to talk about
can be really hard and that
becomes the stop gap. So
just know that
it looks differently at different ages and for
different people, but get curious because
decision making is really hard. It is.
But that have a great week Smart. Have
a great week.