1 00:00:00,278 --> 00:00:04,336 Smart today, we are thrilled to introduce you 2 00:00:04,336 --> 00:00:07,995 to Elizabeth. Elizabeth is our friend and colleague, 3 00:00:08,314 --> 00:00:08,814 and 4 00:00:09,284 --> 00:00:12,554 she is joining us today to chat about 5 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:15,266 her autism and diagnosis, which she discovered as 6 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,419 an adult, you'll hear her talk about her 7 00:00:17,419 --> 00:00:20,385 connecting the dots of her life and how 8 00:00:20,385 --> 00:00:24,054 that informed her decision and choice to get 9 00:00:24,054 --> 00:00:26,925 a formal assessment. She also shares with us 10 00:00:26,925 --> 00:00:27,823 some workplace 11 00:00:28,201 --> 00:00:31,192 accommodations. And we have a really interesting conversation 12 00:00:31,251 --> 00:00:34,448 about when and how she makes the decision 13 00:00:34,448 --> 00:00:36,705 to disclose her autism diagnosis. 14 00:00:37,179 --> 00:00:39,659 And how sometimes she chooses not to. She 15 00:00:39,659 --> 00:00:41,840 also shares how her autism 16 00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:45,179 informs her parenting as well as her role 17 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,831 in an independent school as a learning specialist. 18 00:00:48,151 --> 00:00:50,885 We would love to remind you guys to 19 00:00:50,944 --> 00:00:53,838 leave a a review. If you appreciate the 20 00:00:54,296 --> 00:00:56,469 conversations and the knowledge that we get to 21 00:00:56,469 --> 00:00:58,630 share on learn Smarter podcast. It means a 22 00:00:58,630 --> 00:01:00,390 lot to us when you leave a 5 23 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:02,310 star review, and might just a little something. 24 00:01:02,469 --> 00:01:04,555 We read it. I screenshot it. I send 25 00:01:04,555 --> 00:01:06,541 it a staff, and it means a lot 26 00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:08,289 to us. So be sure to go ahead 27 00:01:08,289 --> 00:01:10,276 and do that. And now let's dig in. 28 00:01:10,688 --> 00:01:12,541 You want to learn faster, 29 00:01:12,995 --> 00:01:15,166 but sometimes working harder 30 00:01:16,018 --> 00:01:19,241 is just the sir you have to learn 31 00:01:20,018 --> 00:01:20,518 smarter 32 00:01:20,895 --> 00:01:22,491 the educational therapy podcast. 33 00:01:25,059 --> 00:01:27,283 Hi, Smart. Welcome to episode 318 34 00:01:27,283 --> 00:01:29,826 of Learns Smarter. The educational therapy podcast. I'm 35 00:01:29,985 --> 00:01:32,210 Stephanie Pitt, and I reach rachel cap. And 36 00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:35,564 today, we are thrilled to have Elizabeth on 37 00:01:35,564 --> 00:01:36,224 the podcast 38 00:01:36,758 --> 00:01:39,543 to talk about about hi, Elizabeth. She's gonna 39 00:01:39,543 --> 00:01:41,078 talk about her 40 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:44,196 journey as an adult with an autism diagnosis. 41 00:01:44,412 --> 00:01:47,196 And we're both just thrilled. We've known you 42 00:01:47,196 --> 00:01:50,004 for a long time, and we're both thrilled 43 00:01:50,553 --> 00:01:53,262 that you are willing to share this journey 44 00:01:53,262 --> 00:01:54,856 with our audience because I think there's a 45 00:01:54,856 --> 00:01:57,246 lot of people. It's gonna resonate with them. 46 00:01:57,899 --> 00:01:59,095 So welcome. 47 00:01:59,574 --> 00:02:01,647 Happy to have you here. Thank you so 48 00:02:01,647 --> 00:02:03,482 much. Thank you so much for having me. 49 00:02:03,721 --> 00:02:05,875 This whole process of this has just been 50 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:06,614 a whirlwind 51 00:02:06,991 --> 00:02:07,491 and 52 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,185 I'm really glad 53 00:02:09,485 --> 00:02:11,885 to share it with other people because I 54 00:02:11,885 --> 00:02:14,205 think that it's it's something that people don't 55 00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:17,742 expect. It's something that people don't really understand 56 00:02:17,957 --> 00:02:19,784 fully, but I was lucky to have a 57 00:02:19,784 --> 00:02:21,928 lot of support in this process. So, yeah. 58 00:02:22,087 --> 00:02:24,414 So ask a away, I'm happy to share 59 00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:26,654 as much as I can, and 60 00:02:27,107 --> 00:02:29,729 I hope that this will inspire other people 61 00:02:29,729 --> 00:02:32,928 to look inward and maybe find out something 62 00:02:32,928 --> 00:02:35,404 about themselves. They were kinda sure about, but 63 00:02:35,404 --> 00:02:38,814 want confirmation up. So yeah. Yeah. Let's just 64 00:02:38,934 --> 00:02:40,362 say straight up we've known you a very 65 00:02:40,362 --> 00:02:42,291 long time. You run in the same circles. 66 00:02:42,902 --> 00:02:44,886 Yeah. I was gonna say probably, we know 67 00:02:44,886 --> 00:02:47,685 you 10 years. Yep. We've known each other 68 00:02:47,685 --> 00:02:49,998 for a while. And right now, I'm at 69 00:02:49,998 --> 00:02:52,310 a school an independent school. I've worked as 70 00:02:52,310 --> 00:02:54,383 a therapist. I've worked as a classroom teacher. 71 00:02:54,543 --> 00:02:56,809 I've worked as a preschool. So through 72 00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:58,929 education, you know, I'm pretty much done it 73 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,993 all, so... All of the things. All of 74 00:03:00,993 --> 00:03:01,390 the things. 75 00:03:02,025 --> 00:03:04,669 Hashtag, all of the things. Yep. So why 76 00:03:04,669 --> 00:03:05,650 don't you 77 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,989 share a little bit more about who you 78 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,009 are and what you do and sort of 79 00:03:11,722 --> 00:03:13,396 you know, maybe we should just start up 80 00:03:13,396 --> 00:03:15,172 straight off the bat. We're discussing 81 00:03:15,549 --> 00:03:17,165 sort of your internal 82 00:03:17,622 --> 00:03:19,796 exploration. This certainly you've been on the last 83 00:03:20,187 --> 00:03:21,301 let me say, year a year and a 84 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,847 half. So that's right? That's about right, but 85 00:03:23,847 --> 00:03:24,722 really for me, 86 00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:28,480 when I look back, this journey started for 87 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,433 me basically after I graduated college and went 88 00:03:31,433 --> 00:03:32,231 into the workforce. 89 00:03:32,949 --> 00:03:35,439 So with 20 20 hindsight, there some things 90 00:03:35,439 --> 00:03:37,120 that came up for me in my first 91 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:37,939 few jobs 92 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:38,979 that 93 00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:41,840 were kind of red flags. It was sort 94 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,039 of a thing where It was like, 95 00:03:43,615 --> 00:03:46,175 I wasn't fully understanding the directions of something, 96 00:03:46,335 --> 00:03:48,014 or I would get in trouble for not 97 00:03:48,014 --> 00:03:49,775 doing something. So an example of this that 98 00:03:49,935 --> 00:03:52,495 I actually used in the assessment process was 99 00:03:52,495 --> 00:03:54,579 that there was 1 time in my student 100 00:03:54,579 --> 00:03:57,122 teaching where I was supposed to. So they 101 00:03:57,122 --> 00:03:59,507 go, you know, could you make the snaps? 102 00:03:59,984 --> 00:04:00,382 Mh. 103 00:04:00,954 --> 00:04:02,869 Okay. I made the snacks. The next day 104 00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:04,466 they were like, well, why didn't you make 105 00:04:04,466 --> 00:04:05,104 the snacks? 106 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,099 And I was like, oh, well, I didn't 107 00:04:07,099 --> 00:04:08,217 know I supposed to do it for the 108 00:04:08,217 --> 00:04:11,124 second day. So it's, like, that's that autistic 109 00:04:11,182 --> 00:04:13,254 literal. Like, you gave me the instruction. 110 00:04:13,812 --> 00:04:15,963 I assumed 1 thing, and then it turned 111 00:04:15,963 --> 00:04:17,754 out to me the other thing. So 112 00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:20,615 throughout my existence, there were these moments of 113 00:04:20,615 --> 00:04:22,694 like, oh, you know, and at first, I 114 00:04:22,694 --> 00:04:24,134 was like, oh, that's just weird. You know, 115 00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:26,385 I'm just a little weird or that's just 116 00:04:26,385 --> 00:04:28,847 quirky. And then as they started to pile 117 00:04:28,847 --> 00:04:29,086 up, 118 00:04:29,721 --> 00:04:31,412 the ups shot of that was 119 00:04:31,865 --> 00:04:34,248 in that student teaching, this head teacher started 120 00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:35,415 to really not like 121 00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:38,089 Yeah. And she would start to like, 122 00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:40,724 kind just back off, I also had a 123 00:04:40,724 --> 00:04:44,077 really bad supervisor. So from these interactions, these 124 00:04:44,077 --> 00:04:46,247 missed kind of you know, we're going in 125 00:04:46,247 --> 00:04:48,001 and out. We're not fully understanding each other. 126 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,952 It led to me failing my student teaching. 127 00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:53,186 So I had to do it again with 128 00:04:53,186 --> 00:04:55,235 the different supervisors. So these are the ways 129 00:04:55,594 --> 00:04:57,370 that my autism was 130 00:04:57,828 --> 00:04:59,982 affecting my abilities. So again, 131 00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:02,376 when I think about that now it's like, 132 00:05:02,456 --> 00:05:04,703 well, if I had had workplace accommodations that 133 00:05:04,783 --> 00:05:06,854 I if I'd know, maybe those things would 134 00:05:06,854 --> 00:05:07,650 have gone differently. 135 00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:10,773 So some other examples of that, is that 136 00:05:10,773 --> 00:05:12,846 in my current position, so 1 thing that 137 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,478 happens to autistic people in the workplace and 138 00:05:15,478 --> 00:05:18,110 any job can be... They get in trouble 139 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:20,752 for asking too many questions. And questions for 140 00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:23,214 an autistic person are very direct. I'm not 141 00:05:23,214 --> 00:05:25,675 trying to question you in a sarcastic way. 142 00:05:26,152 --> 00:05:28,772 I'm not trying to question you in, like, 143 00:05:29,344 --> 00:05:31,262 Oh, actually, you're just wrong and I'm asking 144 00:05:31,262 --> 00:05:33,201 that question, but a lot of tim's people 145 00:05:33,260 --> 00:05:35,897 interpret it that way. So I was working 146 00:05:35,897 --> 00:05:37,735 with a colleague and she was the person 147 00:05:37,735 --> 00:05:39,582 who was supposed support me. And all of 148 00:05:39,582 --> 00:05:40,774 a sudden I get an email from her. 149 00:05:40,933 --> 00:05:42,444 I mean, she's overs stressed. She's doing, like, 150 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,590 8 people's jobs, but she's like I can't 151 00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,259 answer your question anymore. You're gonna have to 152 00:05:46,259 --> 00:05:47,293 take the reins for yourself. 153 00:05:47,944 --> 00:05:49,219 So at that point, I'm thinking, 154 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,370 okay. Well, now is the time for me 155 00:05:51,370 --> 00:05:53,600 to get these workplace accommodations because I'm starting 156 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,817 to see those cracks 157 00:05:55,129 --> 00:05:57,201 showing a again. Like, those cracks that I 158 00:05:57,201 --> 00:05:58,715 had in my student teaching. Those cracks that 159 00:05:58,874 --> 00:06:00,707 I had in other job. So says, like, 160 00:06:01,185 --> 00:06:04,143 no... I'm starting to to think something's going 161 00:06:04,143 --> 00:06:05,967 on, let me investigate further. 162 00:06:06,522 --> 00:06:08,744 And so I kinda started getting a whiff 163 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:09,299 of that again. 164 00:06:10,029 --> 00:06:12,990 Other thing was my daughter has her own 165 00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:15,389 autism of diagnosis. So as she was going 166 00:06:15,389 --> 00:06:17,389 through the process of her diagnosis as I, 167 00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:20,275 Oh, wait. I was like that. Like, oh, 168 00:06:20,355 --> 00:06:22,029 my gosh. I did that as a kid 169 00:06:22,029 --> 00:06:23,623 or, you know, things like that that were 170 00:06:23,623 --> 00:06:25,956 coming up. So she was really the start 171 00:06:26,347 --> 00:06:28,808 of the process for me. Like, oh, you 172 00:06:28,808 --> 00:06:30,476 know, it was really a lot of her 173 00:06:30,476 --> 00:06:33,096 experience was similar to mine. And then also 174 00:06:33,096 --> 00:06:36,144 being a member of online autistic community and 175 00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:37,204 seeing some of those 176 00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,985 workplace out does matching up my own. So 177 00:06:39,985 --> 00:06:42,544 that's kind of how this journey got started 178 00:06:42,544 --> 00:06:43,104 for me. 179 00:06:43,758 --> 00:06:46,714 And, yeah. So it's fascinating to hear 180 00:06:47,244 --> 00:06:50,517 for a lot of reasons because looking at 181 00:06:51,303 --> 00:06:53,376 what you were just saying. Like, your experience 182 00:06:53,376 --> 00:06:56,406 with student teaching is 1 of those moments 183 00:06:56,406 --> 00:06:56,906 where 184 00:06:57,761 --> 00:06:59,617 it looked like that person 185 00:07:00,008 --> 00:07:01,063 felt that 186 00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,975 you rubbed them the wrong way or whatever, 187 00:07:04,134 --> 00:07:06,752 and then it became... And I just send 188 00:07:06,752 --> 00:07:09,551 it also to interrupt stuff. Mh. I remember 189 00:07:09,551 --> 00:07:12,364 you asking a lot of questions too. Hundred 190 00:07:12,422 --> 00:07:13,937 percent. I remember you asking a lot of 191 00:07:13,937 --> 00:07:16,649 questions. But also Yeah. I remember some of 192 00:07:16,649 --> 00:07:18,005 the questions being, like, 193 00:07:19,215 --> 00:07:21,126 yeah. Okay. That's a helpful answer that we 194 00:07:21,126 --> 00:07:23,913 just got. Have questions. Yeah, but it was 195 00:07:23,913 --> 00:07:25,107 a lot. For sure. 196 00:07:25,823 --> 00:07:28,311 I'm impressed with the way that you're able 197 00:07:28,311 --> 00:07:28,811 to 198 00:07:29,428 --> 00:07:29,928 reflect 199 00:07:30,466 --> 00:07:32,780 you're connecting the dots of, like, oh, this 200 00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:35,036 happened, and maybe this is why 201 00:07:35,509 --> 00:07:37,028 which I think is very hard for a 202 00:07:37,028 --> 00:07:38,327 lot of people to 203 00:07:38,866 --> 00:07:41,103 sit there and say, oh, this wasn't just 204 00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:42,082 this isolated 205 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,554 experience with this isolated person which you know, 206 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,312 we see with kids with... Oh, it was 207 00:07:46,312 --> 00:07:48,790 that teacher or it was that circumstance or 208 00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:50,728 whatever. Right? Not like, a pattern 209 00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:53,605 that you had enough 210 00:07:53,919 --> 00:07:56,157 you know, meta cognition to say, oh, okay. 211 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,574 And I think that relates to 212 00:07:59,193 --> 00:08:01,930 an elite diagnosis. Right? So 213 00:08:02,245 --> 00:08:04,745 I've been through a variety of mis 214 00:08:05,524 --> 00:08:07,204 to get to where I am. So I 215 00:08:07,204 --> 00:08:08,425 think that that can also 216 00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:10,725 be very confusing as well for an adult 217 00:08:10,725 --> 00:08:12,819 because back in the day, back in grade, 218 00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:14,740 I looked back on this now with a 219 00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:16,579 different lens, but at the time, 220 00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:19,300 I was in eighth grade summer, and I 221 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:20,993 was leaving a camp, and I was so 222 00:08:20,993 --> 00:08:23,486 sad that all my friends were there. So 223 00:08:23,943 --> 00:08:25,617 my father who was say psycho analyst was 224 00:08:25,617 --> 00:08:27,530 like, let's get you into therapy. Let's get 225 00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:28,487 you on some medication. 226 00:08:29,299 --> 00:08:31,294 At that point, that started my journey of. 227 00:08:31,613 --> 00:08:33,629 Are you depressed? Are you bipolar? 228 00:08:34,166 --> 00:08:36,321 Are you or, you know, what's going on 229 00:08:36,321 --> 00:08:39,686 here? And so, you know, different medication, different 230 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,878 things. But the funniest thing is that throughout 231 00:08:42,878 --> 00:08:45,918 this journey, I stumbled on to a medication 232 00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:48,464 that is actually prescribed for autistic people to 233 00:08:48,464 --> 00:08:50,452 help calm down the nervous stuff. 234 00:08:51,421 --> 00:08:53,564 I started taking it because I was mis 235 00:08:53,564 --> 00:08:56,922 diagnosed with mood disorder. Mh. But I found 236 00:08:57,215 --> 00:09:00,409 that it's incredibly helpful to me. So a 237 00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:02,487 lot of these what I would consider missteps, 238 00:09:02,647 --> 00:09:05,204 you know, in quotation marks are actually things 239 00:09:05,204 --> 00:09:07,202 that pointed me in the right direction. I 240 00:09:07,202 --> 00:09:09,440 just didn't realize that I was being pointed. 241 00:09:10,013 --> 00:09:12,239 In the right direction. And I think also 242 00:09:12,239 --> 00:09:13,455 of the years of therapy, 243 00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:16,452 the une ending years of therapy have helped 244 00:09:16,452 --> 00:09:19,098 me gain that self awareness it. Mh. And 245 00:09:19,098 --> 00:09:21,016 so as I look back through this lens 246 00:09:21,016 --> 00:09:23,333 of now I have a different framework of 247 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:25,811 describing what happened, those little light bulbs are 248 00:09:25,811 --> 00:09:28,772 still going on. Even though the journey was 249 00:09:28,772 --> 00:09:31,397 kind of tough. I would say. Fair enough. 250 00:09:31,557 --> 00:09:33,386 But again, have you to Get. And I 251 00:09:33,386 --> 00:09:35,474 think questioning just to be a little bit 252 00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,590 more specific is, like, 253 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:39,780 questioning of authority? Because it kinda comes off 254 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,455 as, like, well, why am I gonna do 255 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,050 it your way? It's not so much like, 256 00:09:43,304 --> 00:09:44,923 asking a question in class 257 00:09:45,302 --> 00:09:46,741 as it is more of... It comes off 258 00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:49,458 as questioning somebody else. You know? And I 259 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,056 think that's where we get into trouble as 260 00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:53,548 autistic people too, you know. I think so 261 00:09:53,548 --> 00:09:55,326 because, like, what you were really doing 262 00:09:56,025 --> 00:09:57,563 when I'm thinking of the questions, 263 00:09:58,182 --> 00:09:58,682 particular 264 00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:00,992 is you were just trying to get clarity 265 00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:04,505 around expectations. Mh. Exactly. Yeah. And, I mean, 266 00:10:04,665 --> 00:10:07,081 we'll get to that. But in my workplace 267 00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:09,789 accommodations, that's something that was really important to 268 00:10:09,789 --> 00:10:12,261 me to other people to understand. I'm not 269 00:10:12,261 --> 00:10:14,914 questioning your authority. I just want clarity. 270 00:10:15,610 --> 00:10:18,162 Clarity for a autistic person is like, Mana 271 00:10:18,162 --> 00:10:20,011 from Heaven, like, see is giving me the 272 00:10:20,011 --> 00:10:20,888 kids in the clarity. 273 00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:24,556 Well, yeah. Like, if they had said to 274 00:10:24,556 --> 00:10:27,586 you in your student teaching irresponsible for snack 275 00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:28,739 day. Tada 276 00:10:29,198 --> 00:10:29,917 right, Like. 277 00:10:31,276 --> 00:10:32,954 You wouldn't have done the snack every day. 278 00:10:33,354 --> 00:10:34,872 This is something that's talked about a lot 279 00:10:34,872 --> 00:10:36,891 in the office community. It's called the double. 280 00:10:37,683 --> 00:10:40,464 Problem. Right? It's like, this idea that we 281 00:10:40,464 --> 00:10:42,689 put a lot onto to autistic people or 282 00:10:42,689 --> 00:10:45,311 any neuro people really, like, Adhd, d lexi 283 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:45,787 or whatever. 284 00:10:46,439 --> 00:10:49,230 We put the onus of chains onto that. 285 00:10:49,629 --> 00:10:51,065 They're the ones who have to change to 286 00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:52,420 fit our world. They're the ones who have 287 00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:54,574 to come into alignment with us as neuro 288 00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:55,292 typical people. 289 00:10:56,183 --> 00:10:58,831 But it's a 2 way street. Mh. So 290 00:10:59,047 --> 00:11:02,092 it's both how will my typical coworkers 291 00:11:03,198 --> 00:11:04,625 come to meet me in the middle. And 292 00:11:04,625 --> 00:11:06,131 also, I do need to meet them in 293 00:11:06,131 --> 00:11:08,509 the middle. I need to understand that when 294 00:11:08,509 --> 00:11:09,144 they say, 295 00:11:09,778 --> 00:11:12,105 do the snack, there might be something missing. 296 00:11:12,264 --> 00:11:13,865 So maybe I do need to ask a 297 00:11:13,865 --> 00:11:15,945 clarifying question. Maybe I do need to make 298 00:11:15,945 --> 00:11:18,024 sure that there wasn't anything that got missed. 299 00:11:18,439 --> 00:11:21,407 So it's this idea of empathy and understanding 300 00:11:21,702 --> 00:11:24,250 being a 2 way street versus how we 301 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,294 generally want it to be a 1 way 302 00:11:26,575 --> 00:11:29,454 injury. And the double empathy, it really resonates 303 00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:30,195 with me 304 00:11:30,575 --> 00:11:31,794 is a lay diagnosed 305 00:11:32,414 --> 00:11:33,315 autistic person 306 00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:34,434 because 307 00:11:34,909 --> 00:11:37,147 it frees me up from all of a 308 00:11:37,147 --> 00:11:39,805 sudden feeling like I have to just completely 309 00:11:39,864 --> 00:11:41,782 change who I am. No. I don't have 310 00:11:41,782 --> 00:11:43,301 to completely change who I am. I just 311 00:11:43,301 --> 00:11:44,440 now have an awareness 312 00:11:44,753 --> 00:11:45,730 of how other 313 00:11:46,343 --> 00:11:49,307 non autistic or neuro people will 314 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,226 interpret me. And I think that's really value. 315 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:54,713 It is valuable. Okay. So let's go in 316 00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:57,366 order. Yeah. So you were observing 317 00:11:57,983 --> 00:11:59,658 what was going on with your daughter and 318 00:11:59,658 --> 00:12:01,492 sort of the things that were happening. You 319 00:12:01,492 --> 00:12:02,210 were relating. 320 00:12:03,261 --> 00:12:05,491 You did take this step to go and 321 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,425 do an assessment for yourself. But 322 00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:10,112 I guess my question for you is... I 323 00:12:10,112 --> 00:12:11,546 mean, you knew what the outcome was gonna 324 00:12:11,546 --> 00:12:14,055 be. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. So 325 00:12:14,513 --> 00:12:16,428 why did you go ahead take the step 326 00:12:16,428 --> 00:12:18,901 to do the formal testing and do all 327 00:12:18,901 --> 00:12:19,220 that? 328 00:12:19,714 --> 00:12:22,103 When you sort of knew the outcome. Really 329 00:12:22,103 --> 00:12:24,493 good point. Because I personally believe that as 330 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:27,860 an autistic person, self diagnosis is a completely 331 00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:28,418 valid 332 00:12:29,128 --> 00:12:29,628 expression 333 00:12:30,164 --> 00:12:33,035 of autism. Mh. There plenty of people. And 334 00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:34,948 I started this way. I actually explored my 335 00:12:34,948 --> 00:12:36,941 diagnosis as starting off as self diagnose. 336 00:12:37,593 --> 00:12:39,733 So I wanna really be clear that I 337 00:12:39,733 --> 00:12:42,110 think that is absolutely valid. If you self 338 00:12:42,110 --> 00:12:43,615 diagnose as autistic Are. 339 00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,179 And I don't see it necessarily as so 340 00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:47,540 much of an identity. 341 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:50,340 But if you feel like your life experience 342 00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:52,740 fits the constellation of autism and you... That's 343 00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:53,860 how you experience the world. 344 00:12:54,513 --> 00:12:56,447 Self diagnosis is completely valuable. 345 00:12:56,982 --> 00:12:59,133 For me, the reason that I took that 346 00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:00,806 next step was really what was happening at 347 00:13:00,806 --> 00:13:01,045 work. 348 00:13:01,921 --> 00:13:03,848 And really what was... Like, those that we're 349 00:13:03,848 --> 00:13:06,160 starting to show. And and again, nothing was 350 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,269 overt, nothing was, like, awful. But when I 351 00:13:09,269 --> 00:13:11,183 got that email back about, like, I'm sorry. 352 00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:12,195 I can't answer 353 00:13:12,631 --> 00:13:13,982 anymore you ask too many questions. 354 00:13:14,618 --> 00:13:16,684 I was like, let me see that if 355 00:13:16,843 --> 00:13:18,988 I can start this process and get some 356 00:13:18,988 --> 00:13:20,577 formal accommodations in play, 357 00:13:21,228 --> 00:13:23,929 Another 1 of my coworker actually is autistic 358 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,154 with workplace accommodations. So I reached out to 359 00:13:26,154 --> 00:13:28,061 her. I talked to her about what that 360 00:13:28,061 --> 00:13:29,253 process was like for her. 361 00:13:29,984 --> 00:13:31,982 And she really encouraged me to move forward 362 00:13:31,982 --> 00:13:34,480 if I could. The other challenge 363 00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:38,389 for self diagnosed autistic people moving into trying 364 00:13:38,389 --> 00:13:40,383 to get a diagnosis is the expense. 365 00:13:41,101 --> 00:13:43,972 It was expensive. And it always is expensive. 366 00:13:44,211 --> 00:13:45,886 I'm just like, when I send a family 367 00:13:45,886 --> 00:13:47,322 out to get a neuro psych, I know 368 00:13:47,322 --> 00:13:49,325 it's going to be expense and, you know, 369 00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:51,546 And and it was. It wasn't cheap. But 370 00:13:51,546 --> 00:13:53,292 again, at that point, I knew that that's 371 00:13:53,292 --> 00:13:54,085 what I wanted. 372 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,798 I've also used accommodations at the airport. So 373 00:13:56,798 --> 00:13:58,858 it's not just like, workplace stuff. It's like, 374 00:13:59,016 --> 00:14:00,284 I can actually get it on a plane 375 00:14:00,284 --> 00:14:02,581 earlier. Like, I've asked for that. And so 376 00:14:02,661 --> 00:14:03,557 I think that 377 00:14:04,182 --> 00:14:07,041 that was really my desire to get accommodations 378 00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:09,264 that maybe take that next step. It wasn't 379 00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:11,884 so much am Autistic or not. No. I 380 00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:14,226 kinda new. You know, I was self diagnosing 381 00:14:14,442 --> 00:14:16,350 way before the the assessment. 382 00:14:16,906 --> 00:14:18,258 But... Yeah. So that was kind of had 383 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,040 the ball started the. Fascinated. I know we'll 384 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,684 probably touch on this when we talk about 385 00:14:22,884 --> 00:14:25,601 the actual accommodations is the other thing I 386 00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:28,159 didn't just want my accommodations to be, like, 387 00:14:28,319 --> 00:14:30,236 a safety not for me. I also wanted 388 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:31,755 it to be my operating system. 389 00:14:32,407 --> 00:14:35,184 So for those people who are able to 390 00:14:35,184 --> 00:14:36,930 know my accommodations like my current boss, 391 00:14:37,565 --> 00:14:39,311 it's also... How do you work with me? 392 00:14:39,803 --> 00:14:42,058 What will be to your advantage 393 00:14:42,595 --> 00:14:44,669 to work with me. You know? If you 394 00:14:44,669 --> 00:14:46,344 give me feedback to do it this way. 395 00:14:46,743 --> 00:14:48,657 So I think there's also an aspect of 396 00:14:48,657 --> 00:14:49,396 just like 397 00:14:50,109 --> 00:14:50,609 wanting 398 00:14:51,227 --> 00:14:53,326 to be the best possible 399 00:14:53,784 --> 00:14:55,862 employee, which sounds kind of funny. But, like, 400 00:14:56,022 --> 00:14:57,780 wanting to be the best possible employee, 401 00:14:58,354 --> 00:15:00,113 if you do these things, you will get 402 00:15:00,113 --> 00:15:02,190 the best out of me. So again, it's 403 00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:03,949 that double empathy It's the 2 way Street. 404 00:15:04,108 --> 00:15:06,026 It's like, here's what I need from you, 405 00:15:06,186 --> 00:15:08,438 and here's what I can give you. In 406 00:15:08,438 --> 00:15:10,432 return. So that was also why Wanted to 407 00:15:10,432 --> 00:15:11,810 do it I want people to 408 00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:13,863 understand that there are really good ways to 409 00:15:13,863 --> 00:15:14,421 work with me. 410 00:15:15,235 --> 00:15:17,475 And not. So like, don't just tell me 411 00:15:17,475 --> 00:15:19,315 to do this. Don't just say do snacks. 412 00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:21,394 It. No We just don't to say the 413 00:15:21,394 --> 00:15:23,714 snacks. You can work together. My question to 414 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:24,274 you is, 415 00:15:24,927 --> 00:15:26,913 with the formal diagnosis you were able to 416 00:15:26,913 --> 00:15:27,866 get the accommodations. 417 00:15:28,899 --> 00:15:31,203 Could you have gotten accommodations without the formal 418 00:15:31,203 --> 00:15:31,703 diagnosis? 419 00:15:32,156 --> 00:15:32,792 Yes and no. 420 00:15:33,444 --> 00:15:36,182 So some of the things that I wanted 421 00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:37,860 that were very 422 00:15:38,239 --> 00:15:41,036 big asks. Okay. And I don't think that 423 00:15:41,036 --> 00:15:42,646 they would have said yes. To them if 424 00:15:42,726 --> 00:15:43,942 I hadn't had a 425 00:15:44,794 --> 00:15:46,385 you know, a diagnosis to back them up 426 00:15:46,385 --> 00:15:46,623 with. 427 00:15:47,498 --> 00:15:48,794 The other thing is 428 00:15:49,343 --> 00:15:51,734 for me, it's a protection. Mh. There's also 429 00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:54,044 a certain shield of accommodations. Like, there are 430 00:15:54,044 --> 00:15:55,500 people who I 431 00:15:55,877 --> 00:15:57,949 find in my workplace rugby the wrong way. 432 00:15:58,427 --> 00:15:58,666 Right? 433 00:15:59,238 --> 00:16:02,340 And so if they knew my diagnosis, they 434 00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:03,852 might start to say, well, oh, well, I 435 00:16:03,852 --> 00:16:05,442 can't work with her because she's autistic. 436 00:16:06,253 --> 00:16:08,240 And then at that point, that that's when 437 00:16:08,479 --> 00:16:11,126 Hr gets involved. I'm sorry, we can't discriminate 438 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:12,239 against you 439 00:16:12,614 --> 00:16:13,806 because of your autism. 440 00:16:14,298 --> 00:16:16,050 Wait are not allowed to do that. I'm 441 00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:17,722 sorry. Please leave her alone. 442 00:16:18,837 --> 00:16:20,907 That kind of it. Okay. But, yes, I 443 00:16:20,907 --> 00:16:21,885 could have had certain 444 00:16:22,753 --> 00:16:24,577 I wouldn't even call them accommodations at that 445 00:16:24,577 --> 00:16:26,560 point, just certain things people could know about 446 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,860 me. But they wouldn't necessarily know why, and 447 00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:31,500 they wouldn't necessarily follow through. And the why 448 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,860 and the follow through is kind of what 449 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,159 I wanted on record 450 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,459 v. This is on record. This is on 451 00:16:36,459 --> 00:16:38,459 file. Yeah. And when I go through my 452 00:16:38,459 --> 00:16:40,059 accommodations with you, some of them are not 453 00:16:40,059 --> 00:16:40,514 really 454 00:16:40,873 --> 00:16:41,351 enforce, 455 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:44,696 but they are there to remind people. I'm 456 00:16:44,696 --> 00:16:46,710 very interested in what these 457 00:16:47,165 --> 00:16:49,475 accommodations are. Now you've you've peaked by interest. 458 00:16:49,889 --> 00:16:51,959 So can we go through them? I don't 459 00:16:51,959 --> 00:16:53,313 have my list with me. I'm not on 460 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:57,135 my computer, but there are few that are 461 00:16:57,135 --> 00:16:58,091 around feedback. 462 00:16:58,744 --> 00:17:01,057 And this came out of something that did 463 00:17:01,057 --> 00:17:01,876 actually happen 464 00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:04,807 where an administrator that I work with, all 465 00:17:04,807 --> 00:17:05,626 of a sudden 466 00:17:06,019 --> 00:17:07,700 in a meeting that had nothing to do 467 00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:08,339 with anything, 468 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,380 started giving me all this really negative feedback, 469 00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:13,779 just out of the blue. And so in 470 00:17:13,779 --> 00:17:15,139 my accommodations, I just said, 471 00:17:15,793 --> 00:17:18,736 If you want to give me feedback, positive 472 00:17:18,736 --> 00:17:20,884 or negative, make sure that we set up 473 00:17:20,884 --> 00:17:22,952 a time and a meeting where the meeting 474 00:17:22,952 --> 00:17:23,929 is explained 475 00:17:24,399 --> 00:17:26,556 and that we will go over the feedback 476 00:17:26,556 --> 00:17:27,296 at that 477 00:17:27,994 --> 00:17:29,992 to wind it back a little bit after 478 00:17:29,992 --> 00:17:32,324 that meeting I had with the administrator I 479 00:17:32,324 --> 00:17:34,000 had a full blown autistic meltdown. 480 00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:36,816 Like, I had to lead you. It just 481 00:17:37,354 --> 00:17:39,908 completely threw off my sensory system. It completely 482 00:17:39,908 --> 00:17:41,266 threw off my mental loop. 483 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,920 So at that point, I was realizing that 484 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,000 ad if feedback is given to me, I 485 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,759 will not have this melt out. So that 486 00:17:47,759 --> 00:17:50,494 was 1 accommodation. Please give me feedback, let 487 00:17:50,494 --> 00:17:52,174 me know when the meeting is happening and 488 00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:53,214 want the meeting will be about. 489 00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,914 Another 1 that I asked for was an 490 00:17:57,214 --> 00:17:57,454 explanation, 491 00:17:58,174 --> 00:18:00,748 when I am required to part anticipate in 492 00:18:00,748 --> 00:18:01,488 a meeting 493 00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:04,423 to get advanced notice of what the meeting 494 00:18:04,423 --> 00:18:06,954 is and what are the expectations? So that's 495 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,294 seems very 496 00:18:08,673 --> 00:18:10,990 straightforward. Right? That seems like just a natural 497 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:13,786 thing 1 will do in a workplace, but 498 00:18:13,786 --> 00:18:16,510 not in my workplace. A lot of times 499 00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:18,415 meetings are just ad hoc. They're just like, 500 00:18:18,573 --> 00:18:20,557 oh, we're just gonna talk about this. And 501 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:21,985 then all of a sudden, I would find 502 00:18:21,985 --> 00:18:23,413 myself completely unprepared. 503 00:18:24,063 --> 00:18:25,968 Oh, yeah. You should talk about this, and 504 00:18:25,968 --> 00:18:28,850 then I wouldn't be prepared. Both of those 505 00:18:28,906 --> 00:18:29,882 accommodations are really 506 00:18:30,256 --> 00:18:33,367 let me know in advance what's coming. So 507 00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:35,596 that I can prepare. And thinking of that 508 00:18:35,596 --> 00:18:37,585 again, that makes me a better employee. Right? 509 00:18:37,903 --> 00:18:39,836 That makes me a better employee for you 510 00:18:40,131 --> 00:18:41,882 because I will have all my notes together. 511 00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:43,112 I will every 512 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,627 documentation that you need for this. 513 00:18:46,341 --> 00:18:49,118 The other 2 big ones were because of 514 00:18:49,118 --> 00:18:50,570 my sensory needs 515 00:18:51,675 --> 00:18:55,179 graduation and promotion were 2 things I asked 516 00:18:55,179 --> 00:18:56,135 to be exempt from. 517 00:18:57,489 --> 00:18:59,320 And those were the big ask. 518 00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:02,359 Those are the very, very big asks. 519 00:19:02,916 --> 00:19:05,224 There are a lot of, I would use 520 00:19:05,224 --> 00:19:08,349 the word triggers for me. Around graduation, 521 00:19:08,829 --> 00:19:10,990 around the ceremony, the heat, 522 00:19:11,710 --> 00:19:14,529 often, it's, like 90, a hundred degrees out 523 00:19:14,923 --> 00:19:16,598 So I didn't know. 524 00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:19,151 You know, it's kind of that whole shoot 525 00:19:19,151 --> 00:19:20,666 for the moon and land among the stars. 526 00:19:20,905 --> 00:19:22,660 Like, I didn't actually think they were going 527 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,356 to approve that, and they didn't 528 00:19:24,828 --> 00:19:26,837 And the thing about that is that 529 00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:29,038 nobody wants to go to this thing. Mh. 530 00:19:29,276 --> 00:19:31,580 It's an unspoken requirement. And then again, as 531 00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:34,085 an autistic person, it's very to read those 532 00:19:34,224 --> 00:19:37,184 unspoken requirements. Right? Like, oh, you don't have 533 00:19:37,184 --> 00:19:39,504 to be there? Yeah. Yeah. You know it's 534 00:19:39,504 --> 00:19:41,759 like, those silence x expectations. So I just 535 00:19:41,759 --> 00:19:43,779 asked to the exempt from those, and they 536 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:44,799 they approved it. 537 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,680 So at that point, I was, like, I 538 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,492 have an administration that really gets this and 539 00:19:50,492 --> 00:19:53,702 really supports me. Our Hr department was wonderful. 540 00:19:54,078 --> 00:19:56,969 They just worked with me. Ask me questions, 541 00:19:57,679 --> 00:19:59,536 you know, just really wanted to clarify. 542 00:20:00,314 --> 00:20:02,549 And I think those were the big ones. 543 00:20:03,108 --> 00:20:04,944 There might have been 1 more. But again, 544 00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,620 it was along that same lines of late. 545 00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,426 Just let me know things in advance. 546 00:20:10,144 --> 00:20:11,739 I had to figure out my job from 547 00:20:11,739 --> 00:20:14,131 scratch, and that was an incredibly anxiety from 548 00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,067 vocal experience for me. So 549 00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:18,779 I just also put in there, the idea 550 00:20:18,779 --> 00:20:21,500 that if any of these expectations changed or 551 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:24,539 we're adding new things in or new expectations 552 00:20:24,539 --> 00:20:25,714 that we get those in 553 00:20:26,707 --> 00:20:29,485 so that it's not just a verbal agreement. 554 00:20:29,723 --> 00:20:32,899 It's that now you're taking on responsibility. Here's 555 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,500 what that looks like, and now you're taking 556 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,117 on why responsibility. And these are the outcomes 557 00:20:37,117 --> 00:20:39,336 that we expect. Yeah. These are the outcomes 558 00:20:39,336 --> 00:20:41,654 we expect. Here's is the follow through. And 559 00:20:42,054 --> 00:20:43,815 To go back a little bit, I think 560 00:20:43,815 --> 00:20:44,634 with autism, 561 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,575 the way I understand it for me is 562 00:20:47,575 --> 00:20:50,134 that my anxiety and my sensory system are 563 00:20:50,134 --> 00:20:50,694 very connect. 564 00:20:51,426 --> 00:20:54,151 So what appears like anxiety is often also 565 00:20:54,207 --> 00:20:54,707 related 566 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:55,740 to 567 00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:59,314 uncertainty. It's related to sensory stuff. So 568 00:20:59,862 --> 00:21:01,847 some of the accommodations that I have were 569 00:21:01,847 --> 00:21:04,309 just really designed to kind of mitigate that 570 00:21:04,309 --> 00:21:06,454 anxiety. My whole first year is, like, I 571 00:21:06,454 --> 00:21:07,589 don't know what I'm doing 572 00:21:07,979 --> 00:21:09,098 I have to come up with this 1 573 00:21:09,098 --> 00:21:12,135 scratch. Nobody helped me. And now this year 574 00:21:12,135 --> 00:21:13,574 being my second year it's much easier. 575 00:21:14,533 --> 00:21:16,211 But that was sort of again something I 576 00:21:16,211 --> 00:21:18,221 was thinking of in the accommodation since, like, 577 00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:19,574 change up. Yeah. 578 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:23,154 Change is hard. And we also have a 579 00:21:23,154 --> 00:21:25,399 new director coming in this year since and 580 00:21:25,399 --> 00:21:28,039 that was another consideration getting the accommodations. Like, 581 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,640 what if I have a director if he 582 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,019 is much less accommodating 583 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,399 Now we have something on file that says 584 00:21:33,399 --> 00:21:35,014 this is the best way to work. Those 585 00:21:35,014 --> 00:21:37,251 sorts of things are huge. And, yes, it 586 00:21:37,251 --> 00:21:39,089 was a big ask, but it's really not 587 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,726 that big an ask. The ask is really 588 00:21:41,726 --> 00:21:42,226 more 589 00:21:42,778 --> 00:21:45,568 can you exempt me and you won't exempt 590 00:21:45,568 --> 00:21:48,357 others for this XYZ reason, not that they 591 00:21:48,357 --> 00:21:50,921 have to do anything extra for it. No. 592 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,147 But I think some accommodations are fair to 593 00:21:53,147 --> 00:21:55,373 ask extra. Oh, that was 1 I did 594 00:21:55,373 --> 00:21:56,963 forget. I do have the right to wear 595 00:21:56,963 --> 00:21:59,826 noise canceling headphones in the school building. 596 00:22:00,397 --> 00:22:02,486 Our school building has a no headphones policy 597 00:22:02,542 --> 00:22:03,336 for the students. 598 00:22:04,131 --> 00:22:06,832 But we've given had headphones accommodations to certain 599 00:22:06,832 --> 00:22:09,078 student to have asked for them. So it's 600 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,913 not something out of the field. So like 601 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,667 you said, nobody is going above and beyond. 602 00:22:13,146 --> 00:22:15,937 But it is just allowing things that aren't 603 00:22:15,937 --> 00:22:18,667 normally allowed. Mh. So even though nobody is 604 00:22:18,667 --> 00:22:20,903 gonna say, you can't be sick and have 605 00:22:20,903 --> 00:22:23,380 your attend graduation, it's just really more... 606 00:22:24,115 --> 00:22:25,015 I'm not asking 607 00:22:25,315 --> 00:22:28,115 for this for no reason. Right? I need 608 00:22:28,115 --> 00:22:30,355 this. But, yes, none of these accommodations are 609 00:22:30,355 --> 00:22:32,275 really, like, go out of your way. 610 00:22:32,848 --> 00:22:34,361 So I think that that might have been 611 00:22:34,361 --> 00:22:36,852 why they were so easily proved, honestly. 612 00:22:37,466 --> 00:22:39,218 If they actually had to be something for 613 00:22:39,218 --> 00:22:40,571 me, it might have been a little bit 614 00:22:40,571 --> 00:22:40,890 different. 615 00:22:41,383 --> 00:22:42,737 You know, And some of the things I 616 00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:44,489 don't expect all the time. Like, you don't 617 00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:46,559 have to give me, you know, meaning notes. 618 00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:48,630 I'll take them. You don't have to give 619 00:22:48,630 --> 00:22:51,506 me me necessarily whole, like, bullet point preview 620 00:22:51,506 --> 00:22:53,173 of the meeting, I will figure that out. 621 00:22:53,808 --> 00:22:55,951 So when I asked for this accommodations, I 622 00:22:55,951 --> 00:22:57,515 did also tape that in to consider a 623 00:22:57,714 --> 00:22:59,149 is how much is the school going to 624 00:22:59,149 --> 00:22:59,968 need to do 625 00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:01,004 versus 626 00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:03,853 what can it just be allowed? Yeah. It's 627 00:23:03,853 --> 00:23:05,447 wonderful. This is why we wanted to have 628 00:23:05,447 --> 00:23:07,531 the conversation. If and when you move on 629 00:23:07,531 --> 00:23:10,787 to another position at another school. What's your 630 00:23:10,787 --> 00:23:13,090 plan on how you'll approach this? Well, I 631 00:23:13,090 --> 00:23:15,393 think that in the interview process, sometimes it 632 00:23:15,393 --> 00:23:18,674 is problematic matter for autistic people to self 633 00:23:18,674 --> 00:23:18,993 disclose. 634 00:23:19,630 --> 00:23:22,260 I don't know whether these accommodations would have 635 00:23:22,260 --> 00:23:23,296 happened my first year. 636 00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:26,204 And I think that that is something where 637 00:23:27,061 --> 00:23:28,837 asking shift and change 638 00:23:29,215 --> 00:23:31,130 in that. If I did go somewhere else, 639 00:23:31,704 --> 00:23:34,017 I would test the climate before saying it? 640 00:23:34,735 --> 00:23:36,729 So is this a place where I feel 641 00:23:36,729 --> 00:23:39,361 that neuro origin people are supported? And if 642 00:23:39,361 --> 00:23:41,296 so, then maybe I would 643 00:23:41,769 --> 00:23:44,002 say that at in the interviewer or I 644 00:23:44,002 --> 00:23:45,518 would ask, you know, do you have any 645 00:23:45,518 --> 00:23:47,832 employees with workplace accommodations and how do you 646 00:23:47,832 --> 00:23:48,390 work with that? 647 00:23:49,043 --> 00:23:51,037 You know, and the reaction to that question 648 00:23:51,037 --> 00:23:54,067 would prove an answer. Right? And I'm not 649 00:23:54,067 --> 00:23:55,422 saying the school that I work at is 650 00:23:55,422 --> 00:23:57,496 perfect in any stretch of the imagination, 651 00:23:57,989 --> 00:23:59,662 and I may have stumbled into something. So 652 00:23:59,742 --> 00:24:01,756 I think that it really is hard 653 00:24:02,133 --> 00:24:04,762 because some places don't want to hire out 654 00:24:04,762 --> 00:24:07,575 autistic people. Some hiring managers. You know, they 655 00:24:07,575 --> 00:24:09,734 say they won't discriminate, but they do. You 656 00:24:09,734 --> 00:24:12,134 know? So in answer to your question, I'm 657 00:24:12,134 --> 00:24:14,386 not really sure. I don't know. You know, 658 00:24:14,626 --> 00:24:16,302 I think the biggest thing for me would 659 00:24:16,302 --> 00:24:18,000 be is to make sure that I'm going 660 00:24:18,298 --> 00:24:20,772 in a direction where I feel like people 661 00:24:20,772 --> 00:24:21,411 would support. 662 00:24:22,143 --> 00:24:23,967 You know, rather than, like, going backwards. 663 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,426 To a place where it's, like, I'd have 664 00:24:26,426 --> 00:24:28,988 to them fight for these. Are there legal 665 00:24:29,202 --> 00:24:29,702 requirements? 666 00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:33,230 Of business owners to provide these 667 00:24:33,529 --> 00:24:35,930 accommodations, the way that, you know, in the 668 00:24:35,930 --> 00:24:38,970 school were legally bound to for certain things. 669 00:24:39,623 --> 00:24:41,393 Really, really good questions. So 670 00:24:41,846 --> 00:24:44,886 Americans with disabilities act does include 671 00:24:45,339 --> 00:24:46,847 certain neuro groups. 672 00:24:47,418 --> 00:24:50,039 So autism is absolutely included under Ada. 673 00:24:50,833 --> 00:24:52,819 Adhd is a little bit different, 674 00:24:53,375 --> 00:24:55,122 but Adhd can, 675 00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:58,800 be included in Ada for workplace accommodations depending 676 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,668 on how much it impacts the person. So 677 00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:05,185 if you're really impacted by your Adhd, there 678 00:25:05,185 --> 00:25:08,281 are ways to find workplace accommodations for that. 679 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,789 It's just... I think that's a little more 680 00:25:09,789 --> 00:25:12,329 dicey, but it's all covered under the Americans 681 00:25:12,329 --> 00:25:15,206 with disabilities act. So that is where the 682 00:25:15,206 --> 00:25:17,355 the Idea comes from. It's all kind of 683 00:25:17,355 --> 00:25:17,855 pulled 684 00:25:18,230 --> 00:25:20,777 out of that 05:04 plans are also in 685 00:25:20,777 --> 00:25:23,206 that. But once you have 686 00:25:23,664 --> 00:25:26,936 official Hr accommodations are protected by law. I 687 00:25:26,936 --> 00:25:29,432 would be hard pressed to prove anything, 688 00:25:30,064 --> 00:25:32,377 But that's again, why it's on file. It's 689 00:25:32,377 --> 00:25:34,131 just to save me. Mh. We it. 690 00:25:34,849 --> 00:25:37,901 But, yes, once you have these accommodations, you 691 00:25:37,959 --> 00:25:38,996 have the right. 692 00:25:39,649 --> 00:25:41,720 To that. You know, You have the absolute 693 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,668 right to say this hasn't been handled well, 694 00:25:45,066 --> 00:25:47,217 or I need this. And that's why I 695 00:25:47,217 --> 00:25:48,992 again, I was so careful in not 696 00:25:49,384 --> 00:25:51,142 asking for too much. And I hate to 697 00:25:51,142 --> 00:25:53,219 put it that limit. You know, I was 698 00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:55,296 ready to make my case. I was ready 699 00:25:55,296 --> 00:25:56,828 to be like, well, if you say no 700 00:25:56,828 --> 00:25:58,504 to this, then this is why I want... 701 00:25:58,663 --> 00:26:01,079 You know that kind of thing. Mh. But 702 00:26:01,217 --> 00:26:02,893 now that they're on the books, it is 703 00:26:02,893 --> 00:26:04,822 something where I at least... Would be able 704 00:26:04,822 --> 00:26:06,890 to say, here are some reasons why autistic 705 00:26:06,890 --> 00:26:07,686 people get fired. 706 00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:08,902 So 707 00:26:09,357 --> 00:26:11,823 you're doing that to me right now. And 708 00:26:11,823 --> 00:26:14,146 that's again, that protections on. It doesn't seem 709 00:26:14,146 --> 00:26:15,900 like you had to fight that hard. No. 710 00:26:16,139 --> 00:26:18,450 I did not. I'm very lucky that I 711 00:26:18,450 --> 00:26:20,681 didn't. I credit our Hr team. 712 00:26:21,253 --> 00:26:23,877 With that new head of Hr is disabled 713 00:26:23,877 --> 00:26:26,264 herself. So I think she understands that that 714 00:26:26,264 --> 00:26:28,729 you indeed through people that have accommodations in 715 00:26:28,729 --> 00:26:31,852 the workplace So, yeah, I was pleasantly surprised 716 00:26:31,852 --> 00:26:34,961 at not having to fight at all, really, 717 00:26:36,317 --> 00:26:38,231 just needed to do a lot of explaining. 718 00:26:38,963 --> 00:26:41,036 A lot of explain. Why do you need 719 00:26:41,036 --> 00:26:43,347 this? What is this? Mh. And I think 720 00:26:43,347 --> 00:26:45,260 it also helped to have somebody else who 721 00:26:45,260 --> 00:26:46,615 had laid this path. 722 00:26:47,427 --> 00:26:50,158 Before me. So another coworker who has 723 00:26:51,012 --> 00:26:52,206 accommodations for her autism. 724 00:26:52,764 --> 00:26:54,755 So she paved the way from making and 725 00:26:54,755 --> 00:26:56,682 this in a lot of ways. And so 726 00:26:56,682 --> 00:26:59,151 how would you say it's changed now that 727 00:26:59,151 --> 00:27:00,288 you have the questions 728 00:27:01,221 --> 00:27:02,097 accommodation, for instance, 729 00:27:02,735 --> 00:27:05,617 the clarifying stuff? How are things different? So 730 00:27:05,617 --> 00:27:07,632 the challenges is, I am not 731 00:27:08,089 --> 00:27:10,640 disclosing to everyone in my workplace right now. 732 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,805 Mh. I have made some choices. And so 733 00:27:13,924 --> 00:27:15,828 In the autistic community, we talk a lot 734 00:27:15,828 --> 00:27:17,733 about the term masking, and I don't know 735 00:27:17,733 --> 00:27:18,868 if you guys know that is 736 00:27:19,321 --> 00:27:20,908 explain it. So the idea of masking, 737 00:27:21,638 --> 00:27:22,138 is 738 00:27:23,068 --> 00:27:26,031 as an autistic person, we navigate the world 739 00:27:26,325 --> 00:27:29,424 learning how to fit in with neuro difficult 740 00:27:29,424 --> 00:27:29,742 people. 741 00:27:30,393 --> 00:27:33,336 And that is incredibly exhausted. So the idea 742 00:27:33,336 --> 00:27:34,927 of masking is that we put up our 743 00:27:34,927 --> 00:27:35,722 mask and me say, 744 00:27:36,438 --> 00:27:38,446 I'm gonna try to be as neuro typical 745 00:27:38,446 --> 00:27:40,520 as I possibly can today, Just to fit 746 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,036 in at work and just to get through 747 00:27:42,036 --> 00:27:42,435 my dad. 748 00:27:43,552 --> 00:27:44,052 And 749 00:27:44,523 --> 00:27:46,193 a lot of people when they have a 750 00:27:46,193 --> 00:27:47,943 diagnosis all of a sudden like you wanna 751 00:27:47,943 --> 00:27:49,613 un mask. You wanna be your authentic self, 752 00:27:49,851 --> 00:27:51,680 but that can actually allude to its own 753 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,907 challenges. That can relate to its own problems. 754 00:27:54,558 --> 00:27:57,586 So I was lucky to take a workshop 755 00:27:57,586 --> 00:27:58,723 with this amazing 756 00:27:59,099 --> 00:28:00,772 autistic coach named Matthew. 757 00:28:01,663 --> 00:28:04,048 And he talked about masking as a tool. 758 00:28:04,764 --> 00:28:07,013 So not everybody has 759 00:28:07,547 --> 00:28:09,296 deserves to see the real. 760 00:28:09,710 --> 00:28:12,269 Not every person deserves to know and to 761 00:28:12,269 --> 00:28:14,190 be trusted with the fact that I am 762 00:28:14,190 --> 00:28:14,509 autistic. 763 00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:17,570 There are people at my school where 764 00:28:18,204 --> 00:28:19,882 They've said the quiet part out loud, You 765 00:28:19,882 --> 00:28:22,039 know? An independent school is not always a 766 00:28:22,039 --> 00:28:24,996 place for a neuro kid? Yeah. So how 767 00:28:24,996 --> 00:28:27,490 do we treat our adults? In our population. 768 00:28:27,649 --> 00:28:30,369 And so that is where I have made 769 00:28:30,369 --> 00:28:31,970 choices where I'm like, you know, what, I'm 770 00:28:31,970 --> 00:28:34,289 not gonna be completely open and straightforward and 771 00:28:34,289 --> 00:28:34,789 therefore 772 00:28:35,424 --> 00:28:38,142 not everybody knows about my accommodations and not 773 00:28:38,142 --> 00:28:40,219 everybody knows at me. Now, 774 00:28:40,859 --> 00:28:42,617 I know I wasn't a graduation this year. 775 00:28:42,777 --> 00:28:45,109 And if anybody asked me, I would say, 776 00:28:45,429 --> 00:28:48,225 you know, direct your nose, Hr knows, that's 777 00:28:48,225 --> 00:28:50,143 all I'll say about it. And if people 778 00:28:50,143 --> 00:28:53,113 get stinking about that, that's on them. That's 779 00:28:53,113 --> 00:28:55,029 really kind of none of my business, you 780 00:28:55,029 --> 00:28:58,143 know? Yeah. And really, like who's paying that 781 00:28:58,143 --> 00:29:00,697 close attention to you. Oh, people are. Okay. 782 00:29:01,495 --> 00:29:03,743 I mean, after having a lot of jobs 783 00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:06,294 where I've been kind of burned and and 784 00:29:06,294 --> 00:29:07,888 just kind of pushed in sideline, 785 00:29:08,447 --> 00:29:10,143 it's a risk that you take 786 00:29:10,693 --> 00:29:12,604 that sometimes is worth it and sometimes is 787 00:29:12,604 --> 00:29:15,390 not. Now everybody that I have disclosed to 788 00:29:15,390 --> 00:29:18,256 at work has been wonderful and supportive it. 789 00:29:19,224 --> 00:29:21,844 And my boss and my assistant director on 790 00:29:22,082 --> 00:29:24,703 Hr. They've all been incredibly supportive. So I 791 00:29:24,703 --> 00:29:26,473 have a lot of evidence that 792 00:29:26,784 --> 00:29:28,540 I can trust the system that I'm in. 793 00:29:28,859 --> 00:29:31,014 Can I trust every single person in the 794 00:29:31,014 --> 00:29:33,249 system that I'm in to not act beard 795 00:29:33,249 --> 00:29:34,925 or to not be like, oh, you should 796 00:29:34,925 --> 00:29:36,859 like do not just or whatever that would 797 00:29:36,859 --> 00:29:37,339 look like? 798 00:29:37,900 --> 00:29:40,380 I don't know. And so that's why I'm 799 00:29:40,380 --> 00:29:42,779 choosing to wear a mask some people and 800 00:29:42,779 --> 00:29:43,740 not mask with others. 801 00:29:44,710 --> 00:29:47,086 And that's far has served me very well. 802 00:29:47,324 --> 00:29:49,384 I spent my whole first year in my 803 00:29:49,384 --> 00:29:51,127 current job, not knowing. 804 00:29:51,856 --> 00:29:54,240 So I'm still building relationships. My whole goal 805 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,782 for this year is just relationship relationship relationship. 806 00:29:57,655 --> 00:29:59,426 So I'm am very hopeful 807 00:30:00,134 --> 00:30:02,295 that nothing's gonna come with. That nothing will 808 00:30:02,295 --> 00:30:03,975 change. And so far nothing really has. 809 00:30:04,615 --> 00:30:06,855 And the people who matter they get it, 810 00:30:07,015 --> 00:30:08,295 which I'm really, really happy with. 811 00:30:09,348 --> 00:30:11,506 I hope that answered your question. It did. 812 00:30:11,906 --> 00:30:14,143 Yeah. It's lovely. 1 thing that I've had 813 00:30:14,143 --> 00:30:16,061 to come to terms with is that not 814 00:30:16,061 --> 00:30:18,468 everybody is gonna, like, Right, If I a 815 00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:20,696 mask and I show man to successfully, Part 816 00:30:20,696 --> 00:30:22,607 of my job is rubbing people the wrong 817 00:30:22,607 --> 00:30:24,517 way. Like, part of my job is standing 818 00:30:24,517 --> 00:30:26,064 up for our students 819 00:30:26,436 --> 00:30:29,130 and telling teachers pay, that's not cool, Like, 820 00:30:29,447 --> 00:30:31,349 how you handled that situation was not great. 821 00:30:31,825 --> 00:30:32,325 So 822 00:30:32,633 --> 00:30:34,617 even just in the very nature of my 823 00:30:34,617 --> 00:30:36,840 position, I am going to, you know, 824 00:30:37,475 --> 00:30:39,221 I'm sorry a teacher who's been teaching for 825 00:30:39,221 --> 00:30:41,229 30 years like you can't do. So 826 00:30:41,538 --> 00:30:42,989 Part of my job is 827 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:44,788 just doing the job. 828 00:30:45,422 --> 00:30:47,166 And you don't have to like me. We 829 00:30:47,166 --> 00:30:48,697 have to get along enough to be coworkers. 830 00:30:49,323 --> 00:30:51,815 At the end of the day, that's where 831 00:30:52,192 --> 00:30:54,024 I'm really lucky to be in the workplace 832 00:30:54,024 --> 00:30:56,834 that I am because people get that. They 833 00:30:56,892 --> 00:30:58,507 appreciate that about... I've gotten 834 00:30:58,899 --> 00:31:00,737 an email from my boss after I stood 835 00:31:00,737 --> 00:31:02,415 up to a teacher in a meeting saying 836 00:31:02,415 --> 00:31:02,815 thank you. 837 00:31:03,934 --> 00:31:07,370 Sure like, my autistic tendency to be an 838 00:31:07,370 --> 00:31:09,057 advocate and speak the truth is valued here. 839 00:31:09,215 --> 00:31:11,201 You know, other places that nail that sticks 840 00:31:11,201 --> 00:31:13,029 up is gonna go. Way, you're gonna hammer 841 00:31:13,029 --> 00:31:14,617 it down. You know, don't say that. 842 00:31:15,347 --> 00:31:17,410 So I think it's a big combination of 843 00:31:17,410 --> 00:31:17,806 things. 844 00:31:18,441 --> 00:31:20,424 I'm very, very lucky. And also, I think 845 00:31:20,424 --> 00:31:21,852 this is something I wanna acknowledge to. 846 00:31:22,821 --> 00:31:24,991 I have a ton of privilege 847 00:31:25,605 --> 00:31:27,991 when it comes to my office. I have 848 00:31:27,991 --> 00:31:28,968 its ton 849 00:31:29,438 --> 00:31:32,460 of privilege because I can afford to get 850 00:31:32,460 --> 00:31:33,175 an assessment. 851 00:31:33,732 --> 00:31:35,959 I can afford to take my daughter to 852 00:31:35,959 --> 00:31:38,662 all these really expensive therapies and camps. 853 00:31:39,471 --> 00:31:42,328 And so I think that for me, when 854 00:31:42,328 --> 00:31:44,074 you guys ask me about, like, who should 855 00:31:44,074 --> 00:31:45,740 get a diagnosis or, you know, what's it, 856 00:31:45,819 --> 00:31:45,978 like, 857 00:31:46,628 --> 00:31:49,596 there are so many barriers in our society 858 00:31:49,732 --> 00:31:50,232 to 859 00:31:50,608 --> 00:31:53,234 autistic people of color, getting this support that 860 00:31:53,234 --> 00:31:55,701 they need, autistic people who don't speak English, 861 00:31:56,193 --> 00:31:59,292 getting what they need. So I am very, 862 00:31:59,531 --> 00:32:02,233 very blessed to be in an environment that 863 00:32:02,233 --> 00:32:03,902 supports me and to be in a workplace 864 00:32:03,902 --> 00:32:06,379 that supports me. And I also acknowledge that 865 00:32:06,379 --> 00:32:08,443 not everybody is as lucky as I am 866 00:32:08,443 --> 00:32:10,904 or as privileged as Am. So I put 867 00:32:10,904 --> 00:32:12,254 that out there only to say that, you 868 00:32:12,254 --> 00:32:13,762 know, everything smells like Roses. 869 00:32:14,253 --> 00:32:16,737 But that really isn't always the case. And 870 00:32:16,951 --> 00:32:19,727 part of my heart is in supporting those 871 00:32:19,727 --> 00:32:22,606 autistic adults who don't tab entries that I 872 00:32:22,606 --> 00:32:25,479 have. You'll hear stories about, like, people can't 873 00:32:25,479 --> 00:32:26,777 keep down a job. There's 874 00:32:27,155 --> 00:32:29,310 discrimination. There's color, there's all the stuff. 875 00:32:29,962 --> 00:32:30,781 And so 876 00:32:31,315 --> 00:32:32,668 I just put out there that I'm pretty 877 00:32:32,668 --> 00:32:35,475 lucky to not have had to fight to 878 00:32:35,532 --> 00:32:38,192 have people that support me. How has it 879 00:32:38,326 --> 00:32:40,862 informed your parenting? Oh, it's amazing. 880 00:32:41,258 --> 00:32:42,843 I actually have a story to tell about 881 00:32:42,843 --> 00:32:43,898 this. So 882 00:32:44,841 --> 00:32:47,487 Last night, my daughter was having 883 00:32:47,861 --> 00:32:48,361 really, 884 00:32:48,974 --> 00:32:51,677 really hard time getting to sleep like, so 885 00:32:51,677 --> 00:32:54,159 hard. Like, she was just running around spinning, 886 00:32:54,319 --> 00:32:55,997 just doing all of her sensory stuff. 887 00:32:56,636 --> 00:32:58,074 And I thought about it to myself and 888 00:32:58,074 --> 00:33:00,710 like, if I were in her shoes right 889 00:33:00,710 --> 00:33:03,278 now. What would I need to calm myself 890 00:33:03,278 --> 00:33:06,150 down as an autistic person can get into 891 00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:06,868 sensory overload. 892 00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:09,819 And when I tapped into that, I was 893 00:33:09,819 --> 00:33:11,747 able to get her to go sleep? I 894 00:33:11,747 --> 00:33:14,079 gave her really deep pressure back, 895 00:33:14,455 --> 00:33:17,241 I sat with her, and a lot of 896 00:33:17,241 --> 00:33:19,312 parents, the super would have been like, no. 897 00:33:19,550 --> 00:33:21,080 Just go in your room and calm down. 898 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,711 Just go in there and stay quiet and 899 00:33:23,711 --> 00:33:24,827 what she really needed, 900 00:33:25,306 --> 00:33:27,538 and this comes from my understanding as an 901 00:33:27,538 --> 00:33:28,256 autistic adult. 902 00:33:28,827 --> 00:33:31,945 She needed her literal nerves, her nervous sister 903 00:33:32,477 --> 00:33:34,405 needed to calm down. If she 904 00:33:34,936 --> 00:33:37,654 could calm herself down, she would have Mh. 905 00:33:38,054 --> 00:33:38,554 So 906 00:33:38,934 --> 00:33:41,654 the information that I have for myself. It's 907 00:33:41,654 --> 00:33:44,134 like, oh, I need to take a shower. 908 00:33:44,454 --> 00:33:45,994 I need to do something that 909 00:33:46,546 --> 00:33:49,884 physically changes my situation or the temperature doesn't 910 00:33:49,884 --> 00:33:52,529 where there's a loud noise. So knowing that 911 00:33:52,586 --> 00:33:54,255 helps me get my daughter to bed. If 912 00:33:54,334 --> 00:33:56,419 I had just done, like, more traditional set... 913 00:33:56,817 --> 00:33:59,070 Parenting, she would have had to just 914 00:33:59,527 --> 00:34:01,837 knock herself out. And we've had nights like 915 00:34:01,837 --> 00:34:02,076 that. 916 00:34:02,809 --> 00:34:04,248 But I think it makes me such a 917 00:34:04,248 --> 00:34:06,665 better parent from my daughter because 918 00:34:07,204 --> 00:34:09,601 I have it more nuanced understanding of what 919 00:34:09,601 --> 00:34:11,845 she's going through. So I think it's been 920 00:34:11,845 --> 00:34:14,460 really great opportunity to change my parenting to 921 00:34:14,460 --> 00:34:15,514 shift my parenting 922 00:34:16,123 --> 00:34:18,596 into something that really works for her. Mh. 923 00:34:18,834 --> 00:34:20,978 To be fair though, my daughter also has 924 00:34:20,978 --> 00:34:23,543 language processing challenges that are a bit different 925 00:34:23,679 --> 00:34:24,179 than 926 00:34:24,632 --> 00:34:27,433 my own growing up, So it's not if 927 00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:28,492 1 to 1 correspondence, 928 00:34:28,951 --> 00:34:30,709 but it does help. Sound like it. That's 929 00:34:30,709 --> 00:34:32,487 awesome. What do you want other 930 00:34:32,866 --> 00:34:33,585 people to know? 931 00:34:34,559 --> 00:34:36,319 So much so much. I can make my 932 00:34:36,319 --> 00:34:38,799 own podcast about what I want. I what 933 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,039 I want other means now. But I think 934 00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:41,539 that 935 00:34:42,094 --> 00:34:43,681 a couple of things that I would say 936 00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:44,975 to other adults 937 00:34:45,507 --> 00:34:46,857 looking into this process, 938 00:34:47,572 --> 00:34:49,477 make it all about you. 939 00:34:50,048 --> 00:34:52,838 This is all about you. Don't worry about 940 00:34:52,838 --> 00:34:54,590 whether or not you're gonna get the workplace 941 00:34:54,590 --> 00:34:56,662 accommodations. Don't worry about it. If you can't 942 00:34:56,662 --> 00:34:59,155 afford it, That's fine. You can self diagnose. 943 00:34:59,394 --> 00:35:01,795 If you can, great. You'll find something out 944 00:35:01,795 --> 00:35:04,755 about yourself, but it has to be what 945 00:35:04,755 --> 00:35:07,167 you want and it has to be something 946 00:35:07,167 --> 00:35:09,318 that you do for yourself and not for 947 00:35:09,318 --> 00:35:09,955 other people. 948 00:35:10,592 --> 00:35:12,425 You can get so much out of it, 949 00:35:12,664 --> 00:35:14,894 but it's also something where if you truly 950 00:35:14,894 --> 00:35:17,297 believe you're autistic, and you've got it and 951 00:35:17,297 --> 00:35:18,968 it works for you and you're trying your 952 00:35:18,968 --> 00:35:19,206 best. 953 00:35:20,081 --> 00:35:23,079 That also works. So I think that this 954 00:35:23,278 --> 00:35:26,537 is a great thing for some people, 955 00:35:27,014 --> 00:35:30,114 but you are totally within your rights to 956 00:35:30,114 --> 00:35:32,760 not want. To get a diagnosis, and that's 957 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:32,999 okay. 958 00:35:33,797 --> 00:35:36,430 The process after... What happens after you get 959 00:35:36,430 --> 00:35:38,266 a diagnosis. This is also really interesting. 960 00:35:38,998 --> 00:35:41,704 Because it can really shake you. It can 961 00:35:41,704 --> 00:35:42,579 shake your world. 962 00:35:43,137 --> 00:35:43,637 And 963 00:35:44,330 --> 00:35:46,479 even though, like, sometimes it's like, oh, well 964 00:35:46,559 --> 00:35:49,360 I already knew that about myself, having the 965 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,146 formal diagnosis can be a game changer both 966 00:35:52,146 --> 00:35:54,398 for good and for that. So 967 00:35:55,012 --> 00:35:57,735 it's an emotional roller coat. So also, if 968 00:35:57,735 --> 00:35:59,408 you are going to do it, make sure 969 00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:01,957 that you have the emotional support system in 970 00:36:01,957 --> 00:36:04,760 place to deal with what might be the 971 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,673 fallout for you. And I don't mean that 972 00:36:06,673 --> 00:36:09,064 in a bad way. It's a totally new 973 00:36:09,064 --> 00:36:11,216 frame to see your life through. 974 00:36:11,789 --> 00:36:13,888 And with that, you're gonna have to 975 00:36:14,267 --> 00:36:16,425 just think about things in a new way. 976 00:36:17,064 --> 00:36:19,062 For me, the biggest 1 was my sensory 977 00:36:19,062 --> 00:36:19,461 system. 978 00:36:20,101 --> 00:36:20,740 Understanding now, 979 00:36:21,473 --> 00:36:23,063 I didn't even know when I was hungry. 980 00:36:23,380 --> 00:36:24,652 Like, I didn't no hunger. 981 00:36:25,209 --> 00:36:26,958 And so this is something that is the 982 00:36:26,958 --> 00:36:29,421 part of autism it's called intra perception and 983 00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:30,216 knowing your body. 984 00:36:30,787 --> 00:36:32,875 So I had a huge shift 985 00:36:33,248 --> 00:36:36,581 in my understanding and that was a positive, 986 00:36:36,740 --> 00:36:38,501 but it can be a shot. So I 987 00:36:38,501 --> 00:36:39,851 think that would also be something I would 988 00:36:39,851 --> 00:36:41,678 want people to know is this can be 989 00:36:41,678 --> 00:36:42,576 really positive. 990 00:36:43,028 --> 00:36:44,855 There are also people out there who say 991 00:36:44,855 --> 00:36:47,018 they wish they never had a today. Mh. 992 00:36:47,337 --> 00:36:49,251 And I seen some of those people that 993 00:36:49,331 --> 00:36:49,969 I've talked to about them. 994 00:36:50,686 --> 00:36:51,186 So 995 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:53,318 I would also say to just do your 996 00:36:53,318 --> 00:36:55,552 homework, make sure that you really do this 997 00:36:55,552 --> 00:36:58,859 for yourself. Know what you're getting into. And 998 00:36:59,077 --> 00:37:01,470 for me again, I'm lucky to say it 999 00:37:01,470 --> 00:37:03,066 has been an amazing experience. 1000 00:37:03,798 --> 00:37:06,266 For me. Again, there is nothing wrong with 1001 00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:08,733 deciding this is not for you. And in 1002 00:37:08,733 --> 00:37:12,315 the autistic community, there are divides between self 1003 00:37:12,315 --> 00:37:12,815 diagnosis 1004 00:37:13,524 --> 00:37:14,024 and 1005 00:37:14,481 --> 00:37:15,916 medical diagnosis. They're clinical... 1006 00:37:16,474 --> 00:37:17,032 With that, 1007 00:37:17,670 --> 00:37:19,982 it's also when you go for a medical 1008 00:37:19,982 --> 00:37:21,735 diagnosis, that's f too. 1009 00:37:22,390 --> 00:37:23,610 Because a lot of 1010 00:37:24,869 --> 00:37:28,550 medicine wants to eradicate autism and not support 1011 00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:28,710 op. 1012 00:37:29,349 --> 00:37:30,869 There are people that they're doing studies, how 1013 00:37:30,869 --> 00:37:32,322 do we pure autism. 1014 00:37:32,721 --> 00:37:34,877 And so for some people going into the 1015 00:37:34,877 --> 00:37:37,671 medical model, it's not something they wanna do 1016 00:37:37,671 --> 00:37:39,507 because they don't wanna be cured. They don't 1017 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:40,225 wanna be fixed. 1018 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,948 Seen as a problem. So there's also that... 1019 00:37:43,585 --> 00:37:45,438 But in terms of divide between 1020 00:37:45,815 --> 00:37:48,442 self diagnosis and formal, I don't think there 1021 00:37:48,442 --> 00:37:51,105 should be. I think you know you're autistic 1022 00:37:51,242 --> 00:37:51,901 1 you're, 1023 00:37:52,276 --> 00:37:54,821 so that would be another thing. So we've 1024 00:37:54,821 --> 00:37:57,329 talked a little bit about how your diagnosis 1025 00:37:57,630 --> 00:37:59,070 has informed your parenting. 1026 00:37:59,550 --> 00:38:00,610 How has it 1027 00:38:01,150 --> 00:38:03,949 informed your role as the learning specialist. 1028 00:38:04,523 --> 00:38:06,912 So that's a really great question. I feel 1029 00:38:06,912 --> 00:38:07,412 like 1030 00:38:08,186 --> 00:38:09,800 I've always had compassion 1031 00:38:10,176 --> 00:38:12,166 for our learning diver students. 1032 00:38:12,659 --> 00:38:14,508 But now I see it more 1033 00:38:15,039 --> 00:38:16,547 as an obligation. 1034 00:38:17,421 --> 00:38:19,564 By the way, it's no small. 1035 00:38:20,373 --> 00:38:20,873 Coincidence 1036 00:38:21,246 --> 00:38:23,232 that somehow you wound up in this field. 1037 00:38:23,470 --> 00:38:25,058 That is not worth free. 1038 00:38:26,091 --> 00:38:28,553 Yeah. The stars aligned. I mean, I've always 1039 00:38:28,553 --> 00:38:30,639 felt quirky. I've always definitely am amazing thing, 1040 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,480 but I feel like now though... 1041 00:38:33,119 --> 00:38:34,719 And this is something that I do struggle 1042 00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,880 with a little bit because if I am 1043 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:40,574 not fully living my truth, my autistic truth 1044 00:38:40,574 --> 00:38:41,295 on campus. 1045 00:38:41,695 --> 00:38:43,855 How can I expect our students to want 1046 00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:46,255 to take their accommodations or not feel shame, 1047 00:38:46,829 --> 00:38:49,230 So I'm not out to our student population? 1048 00:38:49,710 --> 00:38:52,349 Yet. But that's something that I'm am considering 1049 00:38:52,349 --> 00:38:54,523 because the biggest goal that I have for 1050 00:38:54,523 --> 00:38:56,437 my students with the accommodations is that they 1051 00:38:56,437 --> 00:38:56,937 feel 1052 00:38:57,474 --> 00:38:59,170 full in their diagnoses. 1053 00:38:59,707 --> 00:39:02,738 They feel proud of themselves as learners, and 1054 00:39:02,738 --> 00:39:05,302 they work twice as hard as these kids 1055 00:39:05,302 --> 00:39:06,655 who look around and they're, oh, they're just 1056 00:39:06,655 --> 00:39:08,803 the Ap plus student. You know, we all 1057 00:39:08,803 --> 00:39:10,553 know that they hit their wall in high 1058 00:39:10,553 --> 00:39:12,144 school. Right? Or they're gonna hit their wall 1059 00:39:12,144 --> 00:39:14,150 in college. Hard whereas the kids who have 1060 00:39:14,150 --> 00:39:16,540 been working on reading or working their whole 1061 00:39:16,540 --> 00:39:18,929 eyes on these things, they develop that grid. 1062 00:39:19,328 --> 00:39:21,797 It makes me more compassionate, it makes me 1063 00:39:21,797 --> 00:39:22,297 more 1064 00:39:22,688 --> 00:39:23,745 of a fighter 1065 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,030 when it comes to, like, getting my students 1066 00:39:26,030 --> 00:39:28,418 the accommodations because I had to advocate for 1067 00:39:28,418 --> 00:39:29,532 my own accommodations. 1068 00:39:30,501 --> 00:39:32,432 And I want that same 1069 00:39:32,885 --> 00:39:35,111 buyer more of my students. There are a 1070 00:39:35,111 --> 00:39:37,336 lot of kids at my school who... They 1071 00:39:37,336 --> 00:39:39,900 feel shame. They feel bad. They feel like 1072 00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:41,891 they're not good enough. They look around. Everybody's 1073 00:39:41,891 --> 00:39:43,963 better than me. Everybody's getting A's. I'm getting 1074 00:39:43,963 --> 00:39:44,622 to see 1075 00:39:44,934 --> 00:39:47,015 And those are the kids that I want 1076 00:39:47,015 --> 00:39:48,474 them to know that 1077 00:39:48,775 --> 00:39:51,095 their diagnosis doesn't make them dumb. It doesn't 1078 00:39:51,095 --> 00:39:52,055 make them stupid. 1079 00:39:52,548 --> 00:39:54,556 And so I think that my own diagnosis 1080 00:39:54,692 --> 00:39:57,811 has lit that buyer both of compassion and 1081 00:39:58,026 --> 00:39:59,852 advocacy for the students that Are I work. 1082 00:40:00,264 --> 00:40:02,333 Love that. Mh. Thank you for being here. 1083 00:40:02,492 --> 00:40:03,549 Thank you for your vulnerability 1084 00:40:03,924 --> 00:40:06,630 and let's send on that. Note. Yeah. And 1085 00:40:06,630 --> 00:40:08,301 thank you for doing what you do, and 1086 00:40:08,301 --> 00:40:11,268 being willing to share. My pleasure. Alright. I 1087 00:40:11,268 --> 00:40:12,626 have a great week, Smart. 1088 00:40:13,585 --> 00:40:15,184 Have a great week. Have a great week.