1 00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:03,760 Hey, Hey, 2 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:07,960 any youth leaders out there serving with youth in the church is probably one of 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:12,560 the most enjoyable callings, but it brings with it a lot of responsibility. 4 00:00:12,820 --> 00:00:16,680 How do we effectively lead this rising generation? Well, 5 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:17,560 I have good news for you. 6 00:00:17,690 --> 00:00:21,400 Leading saints has organized the young saints virtual library, 7 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:26,120 where we have 20 plus hours of presentations, all about how to lead youth. 8 00:00:26,450 --> 00:00:29,720 We cover topics like how to help youth transition into adulthood, 9 00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:33,920 how to help them avoid loneliness, how to handle smartphones in class. 10 00:00:34,060 --> 00:00:38,640 And we even go over scientific data about how latter day Saint youth differ from 11 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:39,473 other youth. 12 00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:43,960 If you'd like to review the young saints library at no cost for 14 days, 13 00:00:44,150 --> 00:00:47,120 simply go to leading saints.org/fourteen. 14 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:51,480 That's leading saints.org/one four, while you're at it, 15 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,640 we'll give you access to all of our virtual libraries that cover several 16 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,120 leadership related topics. So click the link in the show notes, 17 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:02,440 or simply visit leading saints.org/fourteen. Hey, 18 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,000 welcome to the leading saints podcast. Now, for many of you that are brand new, 19 00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:08,440 uh, to leading saints, it's important that you know, 20 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,160 that leading saints is a nonprofit organization, 5 0 1 C three, 21 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,560 dedicated to helping latter day saints be better prepared to lead. 22 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,320 And we do that through content creation. 23 00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:23,240 We get so much positive feedback on the podcast, our virtual conferences, 24 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,840 the articles on our website. 25 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:29,760 You definitely gotta check it out@leadingsaints.org and on their homepage at 26 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:30,520 leading saints do org. 27 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:34,320 You can actually find the top six most downloaded episodes to the podcast. 28 00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:35,163 So if you're new, 29 00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:39,840 like the content want to jump into some of our most popular episodes head there 30 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,600 after you listen to this episode, 31 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:55,000 Hey, before we jump into this episode, 32 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,360 I wanna give a big shout out to John Larson. That's right. John Larson, 33 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,040 your podcast is talking back at you. Uh, 34 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,320 John sending an email a few weeks back and suggested that I interview 35 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:06,720 his daughter, Emma Larson, 36 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,400 who is not only a YSA relief society president, 37 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,680 but also a published author of the book, the new kid, 38 00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:17,360 finding friendship and belonging in the face of life challenges. 39 00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:21,520 And it turned out to be a great discussion. And we, we focus on, you know, 40 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,280 obviously in a YSA ward, a lot of turnover and, 41 00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:28,920 and transition happening with outgoing and incoming, uh, individuals. 42 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:33,600 And then Emma has, uh, some experience moving quite a bit as, as a youth. 43 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:37,840 And so she talks about the feeling of being the new kid and how can we be aware 44 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,400 of the new kid and even the old kid and, uh, 45 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,920 creating belonging and friendship in the organizations which we lead. 46 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:49,280 And it turned out to be a great how I lead interview. So let's jump into it. 47 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,160 Here's my interview with Emma Larson, 48 00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:18,880 Emma Larson, welcome to the leading saints podcast. Thank. 49 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,480 You so much. Happy to be here. 50 00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:24,520 Well, I don't know about that. We'll find out now. I think I, 51 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:28,080 I wanna say how this interview came to be is your, your dad, John. 52 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,480 He emailed me and he said, Hey, Kurt, you're always looking for, 53 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,960 you're asking for guests at the end of the podcast and you gotta talk to my 54 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,800 daughter. So we have your dad to thank for this. 55 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,240 Thanks dad. 56 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,920 nice. And you are, uh, 57 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,960 a senior at Brigham young university. 58 00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:47,200 Is this your last semester or just last year? 59 00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:49,320 Last year. I've got two semesters left. 60 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:50,840 Okay. And, and what's your major. 61 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:52,680 Theater education? 62 00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:57,560 Oh, no way. Mm-hmm I, I was a theater kid in high school. Wow. 63 00:03:57,580 --> 00:03:58,413 Wow. 64 00:03:58,510 --> 00:04:02,080 Nice. And so is that what you wanna do is teach at a high school or. 65 00:04:02,470 --> 00:04:06,040 I like younger grades, better elementary schoolers are my, my favorite. 66 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,680 So if I could teach them that's the dream. 67 00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:11,160 All right. So what are some of your favorite, uh, plays or musicals? 68 00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:16,200 Ooh, my favorite musical that I've seen is called come from away. 69 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,720 It's about nine 11. It's very. 70 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,560 Really? Is that on Broadway or? 71 00:04:20,810 --> 00:04:24,120 It is it's on Broadway. I just saw it in London. It's really good. 72 00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:26,800 Wow. Is musical or play? It's. 73 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,633 It's a musical. 74 00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:30,280 Oh, wow. All right. Gotta check that out. Yeah. 75 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,880 So do you do a lot of acting in theater yourself? 76 00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:33,790 I do. 77 00:04:33,790 --> 00:04:37,480 Nice there at BYU. Or what, what are some of your favorite ones you've done? 78 00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:40,760 Yeah, I was just in Fiddler, on the roof at BYU in January. 79 00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:44,400 That was probably my favorite show I've ever been in. 80 00:04:44,770 --> 00:04:48,920 Oh, nice. But you've also been a, a, a relief society president. 81 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,880 You are currently a relief society president in your award there at BYU. 82 00:04:52,190 --> 00:04:53,023 I am. 83 00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:56,320 So what break that down for us? What, what are those, what's it like? 84 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,880 Like how did you explain that to, uh, 85 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,320 somebody that latter day Saint that may not be familiar with with your award? 86 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,960 That is such a good question. 87 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:08,880 I feel like Provo is its own universe because there 88 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,320 are just so many church members, so close to each other. I mean, 89 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,600 Utah is like that in general, but just in YSA awards here, 90 00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:17,720 I feel like maybe the thing that makes it the most unique is that there's a lot 91 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,840 of turnover. People are always moving different places, 92 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:24,040 which has been a unique challenge as a relief society president to be like, oh, 93 00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:26,040 I need to make sure I have a presidency always. 94 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,640 And I need to make sure that we have ministering assignments, 95 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,640 even as people are maybe starting to fall through the cracks and move out, 96 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:37,640 move in. Um, but we do focus on ministering. That's huge. 97 00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,760 So how long have you been in that ward? 98 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,600 I've been in this ward a long time, starting in 2019, 99 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:48,280 which is unusual for YSA awards. Most people move, but I just loved it. So. 100 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,240 I've stayed. And then how long have you been the release study president? 101 00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:54,160 Just, I was called last August, so almost a year. 102 00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:57,560 Oh, great. Mm-hmm . So if you were to talk to yourself on day one, 103 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,680 like giving yourself advice of, you know, Emma, this is, 104 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:04,480 this is you don't forget this, this principle. What, what comes to mind? 105 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:09,580 Uh, I think of the, the quote, 106 00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:14,420 I think it was Monson or Hinkley. I don't remember, but the quote that, uh, 107 00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,470 never let a problem to be solved, 108 00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:22,630 become more important than a person to be loved. Oh, love it. That's huge. 109 00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:25,990 Like we can get caught up in the administrative stuff as much as we want, 110 00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:30,950 but it's more about the individuals making sure that everybody feels like they 111 00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:33,310 are loved and like they belong and they're being supported. 112 00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:38,390 And so is there a certain routine or habit you have to make sure that you're you 113 00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:41,430 stay in that state of mind cuz the administration can swallow your whole. 114 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,830 Mm-hmm that's a good question. 115 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:47,750 I mean maybe not a specific routine or anything, but I do try, 116 00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:52,310 like on Sundays I try to just pick one or two people that I want to 117 00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:56,270 like be sure to interact with or love. 118 00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:59,350 Cause instead of worrying about everybody all the time, 119 00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:01,110 sometimes it's good to just be like, okay, 120 00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:03,350 these are the people that are most in need right now. 121 00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:07,790 I'll just focus on these two or three trusts that other people are doing their 122 00:07:07,990 --> 00:07:09,870 ministering and helping everyone else feel loved. 123 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:14,110 Yeah. Yeah. And then when you say like, feel loved, like how does a, 124 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,550 a student, a YSA individual want to feel loved? 125 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:21,670 Like do they want the caster rolled? Do they want just someone to sit by them? 126 00:07:21,670 --> 00:07:23,430 Or what, what does that look like in practice? 127 00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:26,950 That's such a good question. I think a lot of times, um, 128 00:07:26,950 --> 00:07:31,830 having somebody to talk to is what people need mm-hmm or knowing 129 00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:34,990 that somebody's thinking of you even, cuz everybody's so busy, 130 00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:39,150 like especially at BYU, everybody is just so busy all the time. 131 00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:44,570 And so just even making sure somebody knows you were thinking of them, 132 00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:48,650 if that's a conversation with them or smiling at them or asking if you could sit 133 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:52,770 by them at church, I feel like those little things are, are huge. 134 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,450 Yeah. And then what about just, uh, 135 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,530 I assume you have like activities like, uh, 136 00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:01,890 FHE groups is that that's still a thing down there, right? 137 00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:02,743 Yes it is. 138 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,050 do you, do you have much interaction with that? I, 139 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:09,650 I assume there's a whole FHE committee or whatever that handles that. 140 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,890 Yeah, there is, there's a whole, we have our, 141 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:14,850 we call them like the grandma and grandpa. 142 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,770 They are like in charge of making sure that family home is happening and that 143 00:08:18,770 --> 00:08:19,850 there's groups and. 144 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,930 It's. Yeah. And then, so with, with your focus then you're, 145 00:08:23,930 --> 00:08:26,210 I would guess your primary focus on ministering. Like you said, 146 00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:28,650 you make sure that's organized and then just, uh, 147 00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:30,330 Sunday lessons every other week. 148 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,890 Mm-hmm pretty much. 149 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:36,570 Nice. And any like tips or tricks or things you've learned, uh, 150 00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:40,890 managing ministering or lessons or, you know, running a, 151 00:08:40,890 --> 00:08:42,010 a relief society meeting. 152 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,650 That's a, that's a great question. Um, 153 00:08:49,170 --> 00:08:53,020 with ministering, at least if there's a lot of turnover in the ward, 154 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,360 often, like there is with most YSA awards, 155 00:08:57,140 --> 00:09:00,370 it is really helpful to like, 156 00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:04,410 I would kind of split up my presidency. I would be like, okay, 157 00:09:04,470 --> 00:09:07,450 you make sure that you get to know who's in all of these apartments so that you 158 00:09:07,450 --> 00:09:11,450 kind of know them pretty well. And I'll get to know these people just early as, 159 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:13,130 as we're making ministering assignments, 160 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:17,370 just get to know a chunk so that when we come together as a presidency to make 161 00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:17,980 the assignments, 162 00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:22,940 we each kind of know those people and we can figure it out that 163 00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:24,780 way. That's been really helpful for. 164 00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:27,060 Us. Yeah. And then to get to know them, are you just, 165 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,380 are you maybe connecting with 'em at church or going to their apartment, 166 00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:34,380 like or anything that works right? Or is it a formal like set an appointment, 167 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,740 sit down with Emma and she's gonna get to know you. 168 00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:38,980 we do a lot of apartment visits, 169 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:43,700 just like maybe right after church I'll swing by somebody's apartment or if 170 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:47,260 there's an evening and I'm like, oh, I haven't talked to those girls yet. 171 00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:48,740 Maybe I'll just knock on their door. 172 00:09:48,890 --> 00:09:51,100 That's actually proved to be very effective for, 173 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,180 for our ward at least just to show up, knock on their door. 174 00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:58,460 Nice. Now what about, uh, ministering interviews? What , I mean, 175 00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:01,580 how does that go for you? Any, any tricks as far as, uh, 176 00:10:01,580 --> 00:10:03,620 organizing that and then what do you, 177 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:06,140 how do you approach him when you actually sit down in that interview? 178 00:10:06,550 --> 00:10:11,340 That is such a good question. I think like regarding tricks, 179 00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:15,780 a similar approach of making it seem pretty, 180 00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:20,400 I don't know, warm, welcoming, 181 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,960 making it not seem scary for people just like going to their apartment. 182 00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:27,480 Mm-hmm rather than meeting at the church has been really helpful 183 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,200 to get them to open up and be excited. 184 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:35,140 And then also texting is very helpful. 185 00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:37,020 Just like being in contact with people, 186 00:10:37,650 --> 00:10:42,620 making sure that they know that we are expected to do ministering interviews 187 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:45,820 and like doesn't have to be too long, keep it simple. 188 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,380 That's been really helpful. 189 00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:51,880 Nice. Yeah. And they should help a sister out and show up so that you can, 190 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,680 you can do what you've been asked to do. Right. Yeah. Nice. And I love that, 191 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:59,400 you know, it seems so simple and it's easier to pass over this, 192 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,880 but going to their apartment to their location. 193 00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:04,880 Mm-hmm it goes a long way now that's people will hear that, 194 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,080 you know, I'm thinking of our, our saints out in Montana, who's like, 195 00:11:08,290 --> 00:11:11,080 it would take me three hours to drive across the ward. Right. 196 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:15,600 And obviously everybody I imagine is in a similar apartment complex. So, 197 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,640 you know, you can make that happen easily, but, and or in Utah, you know, 198 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,720 you're in the same neighborhood or whatever it is, but mm-hmm, 199 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,680 just, just like making it easy on them of, you know, 200 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:30,440 you going to them rather than expecting them to come to you or have to go back 201 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,640 to the church or back to your, your apartment. 202 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:36,360 Whatnot really makes it easy on them that, uh, that you need to talk to. 203 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:37,800 Yeah, absolutely. 204 00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:42,600 Nice. All right. Uh, so you're also a published author. 205 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,120 What don't you do, Emma? You're just, you're just rocking life right now. 206 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:47,513 . 207 00:11:49,390 --> 00:11:53,600 Book the new kid, finding a friendship and belonging in the, 208 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:58,830 I can't read my own handwriting in the face of life Chan it changes. So, 209 00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:01,510 I mean you're busy BYU student, uh, 210 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:05,870 you're running a relief society and then you wake up and think I'm gonna write a 211 00:12:05,870 --> 00:12:07,030 book. Like how did this come to be? 212 00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:11,630 That is the question I always get. Like, why? Like this is great, 213 00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:15,590 but like why? And here's the, the short version of the story. 214 00:12:15,590 --> 00:12:20,230 Basically last summer I was performing at a theater up on bear lake. 215 00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:24,390 It's called pickle Playhouse, love it up there. And one day I was off, 216 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,470 I didn't have anything to do. And I woke up and I was like, Hmm, 217 00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:30,990 I have nothing to do today. What should I do? And I just, like I thought, Hmm, 218 00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:32,550 I've always thought about writing a book. 219 00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:36,310 Maybe it day I could research what it would take to self-publish a book. 220 00:12:36,310 --> 00:12:39,470 And so that whole day I just was like reading about it. And I was like, 221 00:12:39,470 --> 00:12:43,230 this actually seems surprisingly, like not easy, 222 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:48,070 but within my means, like I could, I could do this. Nice. 223 00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:50,150 And then I was like, could be fun. 224 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,710 So I just started like brainstorming. 225 00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:56,870 Like these are some things that I've thought about maybe writing a book about. 226 00:12:57,250 --> 00:13:01,630 And then I just started to write it and I loved writing it. 227 00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:05,110 That was my favorite part was just getting down all these stories that I've been 228 00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:08,310 wanting to write forever. Yeah. 229 00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:12,400 Now here I am published it of the summer. . 230 00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:17,400 Wow. Wow. So, so did you have, did you have the idea to, 231 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,640 or you wanted to write a book before you had the idea of what to write about? 232 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:25,000 So I had, yes. I've always, I mean, ever since I was little, I was like, 233 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,160 I wanna be a writer. I could be an author. That would be cool. 234 00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:33,240 But in the past few years I've had some ideas of like more specific things that 235 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,240 I would want to write about. 236 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:38,910 I just didn't narrow down the topic and the idea until 237 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:40,950 I was like, I could, I could write a book. 238 00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:45,510 Yeah. So what led you to this topic of friendship and belonging? 239 00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:48,070 That another great question. 240 00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:51,630 I I'm studying theater education. 241 00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:56,270 So education is huge for me. Mm-hmm and all growing up. I mean, 242 00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,550 this is a lot of what the book is about, but all growing up, 243 00:13:58,550 --> 00:14:02,710 I moved a lot and switched schools a lot and it was hard. 244 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,770 It was really hard. And I looking. 245 00:14:05,770 --> 00:14:08,650 For another, another thing to blame blame your dad about here, John, come on, 246 00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:10,610 John. Why'd you move the family so much. . 247 00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:13,290 But like looking back, 248 00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:16,690 I'm so grateful and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything, 249 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:21,610 because I feel like it really taught me a lot about friendship and belonging 250 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:24,340 that I would not have learned otherwise. 251 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:29,500 And I just felt like some of these experiences that I had of like failing 252 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:32,660 or feeling alone or struggling, 253 00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:36,060 I think there are so many kids right now who feel like that, 254 00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:40,060 especially like middle schoolers. Totally. It's a hard time. 255 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,220 And I was like, 256 00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:45,100 I just wanna write down my experiences so that somebody can know that they're 257 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:45,420 not alone. 258 00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:50,380 That they're not the only one who is feeling lonely or who is struggling to 259 00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:52,720 make friends or yeah. Yeah. So that's. 260 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,360 Yeah. So you have been the new kid many times. 261 00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:56,640 That is true. This. 262 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,640 Is a little bit of an auto autobiography happening here. Mm-hmm. 263 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:00,520 it's . 264 00:15:01,230 --> 00:15:05,000 Nice. So, um, so did you write this for, 265 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:09,160 for other new kids that are out there or people who don't feel friendship or 266 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:09,680 belonging? 267 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,680 Mm-hmm I did, yeah. 268 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,240 I think there's kind of two primary audiences that I was going for. One is the, 269 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,280 the new kids who are feeling alone. 270 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:21,640 And then another is for people who maybe don't know as much what it feels like 271 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,360 to be the new kid so that they can get a taste and be like, oh, 272 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:29,960 this is why it's important to welcome people in or to reach out and help them 273 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,400 feel included. 274 00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:35,680 Yeah. So what was the dynamics like with moving so much? Um, 275 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,520 obviously there's the dynamic of going to a new school mm-hmm but 276 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,240 then there's also the dynamic of going to a new ward. Mm-hmm what, 277 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,400 what comes to mind when you compare those two experiences? 278 00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:47,680 Ah, that's great. 279 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:52,840 One thing I am really grateful for the church for this reason that I feel like 280 00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:58,070 I was always able to find at least some sense of belonging 281 00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:03,970 because I knew that the church would be there and I would have friends 282 00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:07,450 in young women's or primary that I could, that I, 283 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,810 I knew at least we've shared a similar experience of like 284 00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:15,450 reading the book of Mormon and we at least have some common, 285 00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:17,050 common things in our lives. 286 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,890 And that was a really a great comfort to me. 287 00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:24,170 A lot of times to have those kind of instant friends. 288 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,730 Yeah. And there's almost like just that the natural structure of it, right. 289 00:16:27,730 --> 00:16:29,650 That mm-hmm you here, 290 00:16:29,650 --> 00:16:33,450 you're gonna go to this building once a week and there's other kids your age 291 00:16:33,590 --> 00:16:36,050 and, uh, whether you like it or not, mm-hmm, , 292 00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:39,410 you're gonna interact with them. And naturally after a month or six weeks, 293 00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:40,730 you're like, Hey, you know, 294 00:16:40,970 --> 00:16:43,450 these two people are kind of cool and they're my friends now, right? 295 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,770 Yes, yes, exactly. Mm-hmm. 296 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:50,290 nice. And I, is it, uh, just as easy in a school or. 297 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,650 It's harder in school? I think. Yeah. I mean, 298 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,430 it is true that like you do, you go to school every day, 299 00:16:59,430 --> 00:17:02,230 you have the same classes. And so there's, 300 00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:05,470 that's similar where you're just in the same place often, 301 00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:09,590 but I feel like in school there's more people and there's also more, 302 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:13,440 there's just more, more things to do. Yeah. 303 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:17,960 Or different groups and clicks to interact with, 304 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:22,080 or try to figure out where your place is. So it's, 305 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,640 I think it's a little harder in school. 306 00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:27,520 Yeah. Yeah. A lot, a little more, uh, dynamics happening. Right. 307 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:31,720 You can either be in the, with the drama kids or the jocks or whatever it is. 308 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,800 Right. so, so educate us a little bit here. 309 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:39,600 You're you're standing in front of a room full of, of bishops relief, 310 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,560 study presidents, young women's presidents, whatever it be. And you know, 311 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,360 they're thinking Emma, 312 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:49,240 like we are desperate to creating belonging and friendship in our, our, 313 00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:52,440 in our units. Like what, where do we start with that? 314 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:57,520 Hmm. Where to start? One thing that comes to mind is, 315 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,900 um, starting with people's 316 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,920 strengths and looking for people's strengths and like looking at the 317 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:12,560 individuals where you're at the individuals in your ward and giving them 318 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:17,510 opportunities to feel good and to feel like they 319 00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:21,350 have something to contribute. Mm. That was something really big that I learned. 320 00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:25,470 I mentioned a little bit in the book. And then also just as a relief society, 321 00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:27,710 president is like, none of us are perfect, 322 00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:30,430 but we all have a little something that we could contribute. 323 00:18:30,850 --> 00:18:34,550 And when you let people contribute and you let people 324 00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:39,180 share what they love or share what they're good at, 325 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:43,820 then they can really thrive and they can like, you get out of it, 326 00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:46,420 what you put into it. And so if you let people 327 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:51,790 feel like they're important, then you'll feel like they belong. 328 00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:52,853 Yeah. Yeah. 329 00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:56,630 I think we all need that sense of in whatever community we find ourselves that I 330 00:18:56,630 --> 00:18:57,750 am needed here. Right. 331 00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,910 Mm-hmm and maybe I don't use all my gifts or talents, 332 00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:05,390 but I do use some. And it seems like people appreciate that I'm here, 333 00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:08,710 that I exist, that I'm contributing. Right. Yeah. So any, 334 00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:12,990 any stories come to mind as far as what that, that look like or that's okay. 335 00:19:12,990 --> 00:19:14,710 Whether in church or at school or whatever. 336 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:19,110 Yeah. One thing that is coming to mind is actually it's related to, to church. 337 00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:23,550 I share, I share this story in the book, but there for summer, 338 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,310 we lived in China. Oh. 339 00:19:25,310 --> 00:19:30,150 For a long time growing up and every summer we would come back to Ohio 340 00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:34,010 where my grandparents lived. And in that ward, there, 341 00:19:34,010 --> 00:19:37,330 there was this girl who was my age, her name was Mary. 342 00:19:38,150 --> 00:19:40,970 And she was just so, 343 00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:45,730 so good at coming to find me and making me feel like, oh yes, 344 00:19:45,730 --> 00:19:47,850 you're here finally. Like, this is so great. 345 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:51,970 I'm so glad that that you're here and you can come to young women's with me and 346 00:19:51,970 --> 00:19:56,650 you can have a good time with me and just making me feel like I was wanted and I 347 00:19:56,650 --> 00:19:58,490 was needed there. And I was like, wow. Okay. 348 00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:02,690 So then whenever I would go back to that ward, I was like, oh, I, I belong here. 349 00:20:02,690 --> 00:20:04,770 Mary's here to look out for me. Yeah. 350 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,650 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then that's so simple. Right. 351 00:20:07,650 --> 00:20:12,330 Just recognizing the person and approaching them. And, and, you know, 352 00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:15,850 obviously there's a, it's sort of a call back to a former relationship. Um, 353 00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:17,570 makes me think of like right now I'm in a, 354 00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:22,090 an award we're in a very growing area, lots of building happening around us. 355 00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:25,490 And, uh, and so every week there's sort of that new family. Right. 356 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:28,290 And part of me thinks maybe they've been here longer than I have. 357 00:20:28,290 --> 00:20:31,570 I just haven't noticed them. Uh, but I still just go up and say, Hey, you know, 358 00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:32,890 what's your name? I'm Kurt. Like, mm-hmm, 359 00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:35,090 how long you've been here. And, 360 00:20:35,310 --> 00:20:38,850 and the introvert inside me is screaming. Cause they, I just wanna, 361 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,850 I just wanna go home and take a nap really . But, um, 362 00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,490 but just that little thing, right. 363 00:20:44,490 --> 00:20:48,080 And we don't have to have a long like conversation, but like, Hey, you know, 364 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,560 personnel. So anyways, see an elders quorum, you know, and that's it. Yeah. 365 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,393 To be that simple. 366 00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:55,320 Yeah. That's actually something that I mentioned in the, the, 367 00:20:55,370 --> 00:20:59,600 in my book is names and how powerful and important and simple 368 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,040 names are. 369 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,720 And I feel like this is something that I've learned as a leader is like, 370 00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:08,200 if you can't keep everything in control, you can start to learn people's names. 371 00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:12,520 And that makes a big difference. Both for like you as a person, like, 372 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,600 as a leader, feeling like, you know, 373 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,800 what's happening just by knowing people's names. 374 00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:22,920 And then also like at least members of the word also feel loved when 375 00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,720 you use their name. And like, it's, it's so, so simple, 376 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:31,280 but it is so true that just knowing someone's name and using their name makes a 377 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,320 huge difference. 378 00:21:32,510 --> 00:21:36,320 Yeah. Isn't that so true. We, we sort of beat ourselves up sometimes saying, 379 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,400 I need to do more. I don't know what to do. And there's so many people like, 380 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:44,280 well, just start learning names. And so what are your secrets? What, 381 00:21:44,310 --> 00:21:48,600 I mean, people are just say, oh, well I'm not good with names. So how, 382 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,200 how do you become good with names? 383 00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:53,120 That's so I dunno, I'm still, 384 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,360 one of the members of the Bishop in the ward that I'm in right now. 385 00:21:59,210 --> 00:22:02,800 Uh, he taught this trick, so I can't take credit for it, 386 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:03,800 but I'll give credit to him. 387 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:05,243 Um. 388 00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:07,640 He says that after he meets someone new, 389 00:22:07,650 --> 00:22:12,040 he has a note on his phone where he'll go in and write down their name and write 390 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,120 down one thing about them that he can kind of connect to that person. Love it. 391 00:22:16,260 --> 00:22:20,440 And he says that that has totally helped him. Cuz then at least you're, 392 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,080 you're just reinforcing, like, okay, I just learned this person's name. 393 00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:24,720 And I learned one thing about them. 394 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,560 So that kind of makes them more than just a name, 395 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,880 gives them a little bit of something. And then that helps. 396 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,200 Remember then the other thing, 397 00:22:32,570 --> 00:22:36,800 my other tip that this is because I'm not great at names is don't be afraid to 398 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:37,633 ask again, 399 00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:42,600 like people are never gonna be sad that you want to know their name. Yeah. 400 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:47,240 And so like, don't be afraid of like I'm so like just being like, I'm so sorry. 401 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,920 Like I can't remember your name. I should know it. That's my bad. 402 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,600 Tell me one more time so that I can remember. Yeah. 403 00:22:53,950 --> 00:22:57,720 Yeah. I love that. And I often joke, uh, like, Hey, what's your name again? 404 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,080 I'm just gonna ask you 10 more times, 405 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,720 but tell me for the third time what that is, right? Yeah. 406 00:23:02,150 --> 00:23:03,600 Just make fun and light outta. 407 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,320 10. Like it's my, it's my memory, but I that's. Right. 408 00:23:06,670 --> 00:23:11,560 Yeah. And then never the power of the, the, uh, what is it? 409 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,530 The, uh, tools app, right? 410 00:23:14,530 --> 00:23:17,330 Where you got pictures and names and , 411 00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:20,130 and you can scroll through there until you find the person. And, and, 412 00:23:20,270 --> 00:23:23,570 and I love the setting in there where I think you can turn to like individuals 413 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:26,250 rather than families. And then it shows their picture on the left side. 414 00:23:26,250 --> 00:23:28,810 So you can like, just scroll and then like, oh, there's the guy, 415 00:23:28,810 --> 00:23:33,530 I remember his name and it'll test yourself. Right. um, and I'll, 416 00:23:33,530 --> 00:23:36,450 I'll also plug in here that, uh, we'll link to it in the show notes, 417 00:23:36,450 --> 00:23:40,210 but this was ages ago, maybe in our first hundred episodes, 418 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:45,010 I interviewed a guy about tricks, mental tricks. You can do to remember names. 419 00:23:45,220 --> 00:23:49,680 And I still use some of those, those, uh, tricks today. So anyways, 420 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,880 we'll link to that. But, um, you know, 421 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,800 I often go back to my time as an elders core president in a YSA ward where I met 422 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,760 my wife mm-hmm and that's sort of my time where I thought, man, 423 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,800 this was the moment. This was ground zero of how awful I, 424 00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:05,880 I have ever been as a leader. I made all the mistakes. Right. 425 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:09,400 But the one thing I did write, and this was back, 426 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:13,880 this was 2006. All right, Emma, this I made before your time probably. 427 00:24:14,260 --> 00:24:18,480 But, um, that they, we didn't have, you know, these cool apps now, 428 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:22,840 but we did have an online directory and I printed that out with every picture 429 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:27,120 and name and I would quiz myself and I had an elders cor of a hundred plus 430 00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:32,120 elders and I knew every name and it was so empowering when somebody would 431 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:35,680 walk up to me and be like, oh, Hey Joseph, what's up. You'd be like, you, 432 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:39,240 you know who I am like, there was this sort of this moment of like, wow, 433 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:43,160 like my leader knows me. And that goes, it's just so valuable. It's, 434 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,120 it's so simple, but so valuable. So mm-hmm, all right. We, 435 00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:49,800 we went down the wormhole of names. So, uh what, 436 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,320 anything else that comes to mind as far as establishing friendship and 437 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:54,153 belonging? 438 00:24:54,730 --> 00:24:58,120 Um, I mean, just in my book, 439 00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:01,120 there's a chapter that I call the little things are the big things. 440 00:25:01,660 --> 00:25:06,280 And I feel like when you're trying to create a better sense of belonging 441 00:25:06,980 --> 00:25:08,410 amongst a group of people, 442 00:25:09,530 --> 00:25:14,010 the little things are the big things that something like 443 00:25:14,450 --> 00:25:17,650 learning names so small, but huge. Yeah. 444 00:25:18,310 --> 00:25:23,170 And like making sure that you have ministering assignments done and 445 00:25:23,170 --> 00:25:25,930 that, you know, people know what their ministering assignments are. Like, 446 00:25:25,930 --> 00:25:27,650 that seems kind of small, but it's huge. 447 00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:33,400 And I, I don't know, just the, the little things are, 448 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:38,000 are big and it just takes people doing small steps, 449 00:25:39,170 --> 00:25:42,090 inviting someone to sit by you small, but it's huge. 450 00:25:42,150 --> 00:25:46,610 And I think that's all it takes is just lots and lots of little things. 451 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:52,010 Yeah. And I even think that in my, and I think most brains are like this, 452 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:54,530 but it's interesting that to observe how my brain works, 453 00:25:54,530 --> 00:25:57,970 where I'll have a conversation with somebody, maybe I'll pick up their name, 454 00:25:57,970 --> 00:25:59,930 but I'll also pick up little details, 455 00:25:59,930 --> 00:26:02,530 like where they work or their favorite football team or right. 456 00:26:02,530 --> 00:26:05,290 And then just sort of recalling that back, like, Hey, 457 00:26:05,290 --> 00:26:08,610 didn't you say you got season tickets to such and such or like, 458 00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:11,730 how's that going? Right. Yeah. And again, it's the little things, but to them, 459 00:26:11,730 --> 00:26:15,250 it's like, wow, this person really remembered our conversation. Right. 460 00:26:15,250 --> 00:26:19,090 Mm-hmm and we can take it to the next level of friendship cause. 461 00:26:19,090 --> 00:26:22,010 Of that. And I feel like that's also really helpful in ministering, 462 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:25,970 just like developing a skill of being a good listener and being able to find 463 00:26:25,970 --> 00:26:27,130 like little things like, oh, 464 00:26:27,130 --> 00:26:31,970 they mentioned one time that they have something coming up that they're nervous 465 00:26:31,970 --> 00:26:35,170 about remembering that, and then reaching out to them again, being like, oh, 466 00:26:35,170 --> 00:26:39,010 how did that go? And they'll just be like what you remembered that's. Yeah. 467 00:26:39,010 --> 00:26:39,843 Thank you. 468 00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:43,200 yeah. Yeah. I get a lot of people in my words, who, you know, 469 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,240 they know I produce a podcast, 470 00:26:44,290 --> 00:26:46,360 so they're ask and always ask what's what's coming up. 471 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:49,080 Like who who'd you interview anyone? Cool. And I'll say, well, Emma, 472 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,840 I interviewed this, this genius author named Emma. So, um, 473 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:57,810 what about, uh, anything else, like you mentioned diversity before we, 474 00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:01,410 we hit record here. What, what concepts do we need to understand? 475 00:27:01,410 --> 00:27:02,730 As far as diversity goes? 476 00:27:03,180 --> 00:27:06,320 Mm. Diversity, 477 00:27:06,910 --> 00:27:09,850 I feel like is underappreciated. 478 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:14,730 I think even if you're an ward where people seem to have a 479 00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:18,890 generally similar lifestyle, like here at BYU, 480 00:27:18,890 --> 00:27:20,810 it's easy to just look at the whole ward and be like, ah, 481 00:27:20,810 --> 00:27:25,690 they're all BYU students. So they're all the same, but people are, 482 00:27:25,690 --> 00:27:29,210 are different. And that was something I learned while I was growing up, 483 00:27:29,210 --> 00:27:30,410 going to a bunch of different places, 484 00:27:30,410 --> 00:27:34,970 because I would be in different places with people who looked and acted and 485 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:37,210 like were very obviously different from me, 486 00:27:37,630 --> 00:27:39,370 but it helped me to realize that like, 487 00:27:39,370 --> 00:27:44,170 we are all different and learning to appreciate those differences and 488 00:27:44,170 --> 00:27:48,250 cherish those differences and find them and use them is, 489 00:27:48,310 --> 00:27:53,130 can be so, so powerful. I think just differences in diversity are, 490 00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:55,330 are huge and really, really important. 491 00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:59,290 And so is that just a matter of like highlighting those and, um, 492 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:03,770 bringing to the forefront, you know, what, what does that look like in practice? 493 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,960 Good question. Um, I don't know. 494 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,560 I think it relates back to what we were talking about just a minute ago about 495 00:28:12,030 --> 00:28:14,880 like remembering things about people or appreciating, 496 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:19,440 making people feel appreciated. And then also just kind of affects how, 497 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,820 how we view things. 498 00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:24,540 Like I think if you are looking for the, 499 00:28:24,540 --> 00:28:27,700 the beautiful little different things that other people have, 500 00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:31,260 I think it makes our own experiences better and it helps us to learn from other 501 00:28:31,260 --> 00:28:36,170 people better if we're looking for maybe why they think the way 502 00:28:36,170 --> 00:28:40,850 they do or what they have to contribute that we can learn from or benefit 503 00:28:40,850 --> 00:28:42,050 from. Yeah. 504 00:28:42,050 --> 00:28:45,330 Yeah. That's awesome. Well, what, what else? 505 00:28:45,330 --> 00:28:48,450 Any major principle we haven't covered or did we, I mean, 506 00:28:48,450 --> 00:28:51,010 people gotta check out the book if they want the whole enchilada, right. 507 00:28:51,410 --> 00:28:52,243 yeah. 508 00:28:52,410 --> 00:28:54,130 nice. 509 00:28:54,130 --> 00:28:57,570 Any other pointer principle that you'd wanna emphasize to a leadership audience 510 00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:58,403 before we wrap up? 511 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,690 I mean, one that one that's jumping out is in my book, 512 00:29:01,690 --> 00:29:06,690 I have a chapter called everyone's a little selfish and I feel like 513 00:29:07,490 --> 00:29:12,040 as a, a leader in the church, sometimes at least for me, um, 514 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,120 it's really easy to get in my own head about like, oh, 515 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,560 I need to be doing everything right. And I need to be, 516 00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:22,640 I need to know everybody and I need to have everything done on time and to be 517 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,040 perfect. And, um, 518 00:29:24,590 --> 00:29:29,360 I think a lot of that is the natural man speaking and 519 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,200 looking inside and worrying about me. 520 00:29:31,590 --> 00:29:34,560 Mm-hmm and if we will like, 521 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,400 take a step back from that and instead turn outwards, look to other people. 522 00:29:38,830 --> 00:29:42,120 Yeah. It makes our job a lot easier. Yeah. 523 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,880 Cause that's how that's how Christ was he? 524 00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:47,920 He looked outside of himself all the time and yeah, he's a perfect leader. 525 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:48,753 Of course. 526 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,320 of course it takes me back to, uh, you know, 527 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,720 I have a marketing background. That's what my degree's in. 528 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,120 And I've done a lot of sales and, and sales training and whatnot. 529 00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,560 It takes me back to everybody's favorite radio station, 530 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,400 which is w I, I FM what's in it for me. 531 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,360 mm-hmm and, and OB, and like you said, 532 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,880 it's not like everybody's these raging narcissists out there, 533 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:15,760 but naturally we self protect. We think of ourselves. 534 00:30:15,940 --> 00:30:18,800 And if you approach every situation like that, and, 535 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,800 and it's easy to sort of get into the, you know, 536 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,080 in church leadership sort of get into the cadence of like, no, this is, 537 00:30:25,190 --> 00:30:26,960 I've got the authority here. Like, 538 00:30:27,510 --> 00:30:31,960 this is what the Lord wants to and get in line. And that's what we're doing. 539 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:36,920 Right. mm-hmm but, um, to really think like, 540 00:30:36,940 --> 00:30:39,360 why, why does this person wanna show up? 541 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,440 Why do they want to engage in relief society? Why mm-hmm , 542 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:43,560 you know, what's in it for them. 543 00:30:43,870 --> 00:30:48,440 Mm-hmm and I think that sort of leads you on a path of recognizing 544 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,200 yeah. Everybody's a little selfish, but that's okay. Yeah. Cause I am too. Yeah. 545 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:56,800 And so how can we understand that and leverage that in order to create belonging 546 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,960 and connection in this community? 547 00:30:59,270 --> 00:31:02,880 Yeah, absolutely. What's in it for them. I love that. 548 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:07,440 That's right. That's right. Uh, alright, Emma, we, we, we did it. So where, 549 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,480 where could people pick up the book now that you're this, uh, 550 00:31:10,580 --> 00:31:12,160 and when's the next book coming out? 551 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,600 that 552 00:31:21,170 --> 00:31:25,760 easiest just on Amazon. And if you look up my name and the title of the book, 553 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,080 it'll just it'll show up. 554 00:31:27,190 --> 00:31:30,960 Nice. Well, we'll definitely link to it. And, uh, and it's looks like pretty, 555 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,320 pretty quick read here too. I mean, you didn't, 556 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,320 you didn't create a textbook here or anything, no. 557 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:36,600 Textbook. 558 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,490 Nice. So people could grab it and, 559 00:31:38,490 --> 00:31:42,650 and read through it and especially those and what a, a great resource, 560 00:31:42,650 --> 00:31:46,690 if you are in a transient area, whether it's a YSA ward or just like a, 561 00:31:46,690 --> 00:31:50,410 I'm thinking like the military base wards where absolutely every, you know, 562 00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:53,530 they just have people coming and going and just being aware of the new kid 563 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,970 experience. And you're, you'll be better prepared to lead that way. 564 00:31:56,970 --> 00:32:00,490 So really cool. Yeah. All right. And the last question I have for you is, 565 00:32:00,490 --> 00:32:04,450 as you reflect on your time as a relief society, president mm-hmm , 566 00:32:04,450 --> 00:32:08,250 how has being a leader helped you become a better follower of Jesus Christ. 567 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:13,290 Love that question for me. 568 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:17,770 I think the biggest thing is trust. 569 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:23,410 I think being a leader I've realized that God 570 00:32:23,530 --> 00:32:25,730 really takes the most imperfect people, 571 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:30,570 trusts us with our little area and 572 00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:35,170 he, he trusts us and we need to trust him in return. 573 00:32:35,430 --> 00:32:39,680 And I think Christ is the best leader. He's also the best follower. 574 00:32:39,890 --> 00:32:41,680 So as I, as I lead, 575 00:32:41,790 --> 00:32:46,680 I try to learn from him in trying to follow him and 576 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:51,320 trying to follow, um, just what he would want me to do. 577 00:32:51,860 --> 00:32:56,000 And I can trust that even though I am imperfect and I 578 00:32:57,090 --> 00:32:59,080 am just try and just trying my best, 579 00:32:59,350 --> 00:33:02,760 he's gonna make sure that everything works out and that my, 580 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,600 my small efforts are help. 581 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:06,153 . 582 00:33:11,860 --> 00:33:16,680 And that concludes this, how I lead interview. I hope you enjoyed it. And, uh, 583 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:17,280 I would ask you, 584 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,960 could you take a minute and drop this link in an email on social media, 585 00:33:21,050 --> 00:33:21,883 in a text, 586 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,680 wherever it makes the most sense and share it with somebody who could relate to 587 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,920 this, this experience. And this is how we, how we develop as leaders, 588 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,720 just hearing what the other guys doing, trying some things out, testing, 589 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,920 adjusting for your area. And, uh, that's, 590 00:33:36,110 --> 00:33:39,840 that's where great leadership's discovered, right? So we would love to have you, 591 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,800 uh, share this with, uh, somebody in this calling or a related calling. 592 00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:47,200 And that would be great. And also if you know, somebody, uh, 593 00:33:47,220 --> 00:33:51,080 any type of leader who would be a fantastic guest on the, how I lead segment, 594 00:33:51,370 --> 00:33:54,280 uh, reach out to us, go to leading saints, do org slash contact, 595 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,880 maybe send this in individual email, 596 00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,400 letting them know that you're going to be suggesting their name for this 597 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:04,440 interview. We'll reach out to them and, uh, see if we can line 'em up. So again, 598 00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:06,320 go to leading saints.org/contact, 599 00:34:06,580 --> 00:34:09,720 and there you can submit all the information and let us know, 600 00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:11,360 and maybe they will be on a future. 601 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:15,920 How I lead segment on the leading saints podcast and remember go to leading 602 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,800 saints.org/fourteen, 603 00:34:18,250 --> 00:34:21,480 to access our full young saints virtual library. 604 00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:35,720 It came as a result of the position of leadership, 605 00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:39,560 which was imposed upon us by the God of heaven, 606 00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:44,440 who brought forth a restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 607 00:34:44,900 --> 00:34:49,880 And when the declaration was made concerning the own and only true 608 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,440 and living church upon the face of the earth, 609 00:34:52,970 --> 00:34:56,400 we were immediately put in a position of loneliness, 610 00:34:56,420 --> 00:35:01,120 the loneliness of leadership from which we cannot shrink 611 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:05,600 nor run away and to which we must face up with 612 00:35:05,670 --> 00:35:08,680 boldness and courage and ability.