1 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,599 Okay. So you're here for some great church 2 00:00:07,599 --> 00:00:10,960 leadership content. The podcast is great, but there's 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,519 also another piece of content you need to 4 00:00:13,519 --> 00:00:16,394 be enjoying each week. It is the Leading 5 00:00:16,394 --> 00:00:17,935 Saints email newsletter. 6 00:00:18,315 --> 00:00:20,954 Now I get it, email newsletters feel so 7 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:21,995 02/2006, 8 00:00:21,995 --> 00:00:24,155 you know, but it isn't as old fashioned 9 00:00:24,155 --> 00:00:25,914 as you might think. It's actually one of 10 00:00:25,914 --> 00:00:28,529 the most popular pieces of content that Leading 11 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,429 Saints produces. 12 00:00:29,809 --> 00:00:32,530 Each week I share a unique leadership thought 13 00:00:32,530 --> 00:00:34,949 that can only be found in the newsletter. 14 00:00:35,090 --> 00:00:37,009 I keep it short and sweet. 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So look for leading 26 00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:07,040 saints in your inbox by going to leadingsaints.org/14 27 00:01:07,099 --> 00:01:08,959 or click the link in the show notes. 28 00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:11,200 The following episode is a throwback 29 00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:13,875 episode, one that was published previously and was 30 00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:16,194 extremely popular. To see the details of when 31 00:01:16,194 --> 00:01:18,775 this was originally published, see the show notes. 32 00:01:18,915 --> 00:01:20,534 Enjoy this throwback episode. 33 00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:27,409 I got an email the other day from 34 00:01:27,409 --> 00:01:29,090 an individual. I forget where he is in 35 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,689 the world, but he says, Kurt, I love 36 00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:32,790 Leading Saints, and I listen to it 37 00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:34,870 every time I'm on the treadmill. 38 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,490 And then one time during an interview, he 39 00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:40,310 heard that Leading Saints has a YouTube channel. 40 00:01:40,474 --> 00:01:42,795 And like all the interviews, at least the 41 00:01:42,795 --> 00:01:45,754 vast majority of them are video recorded, and 42 00:01:45,754 --> 00:01:48,314 you can watch the video recording of the 43 00:01:48,314 --> 00:01:51,114 podcast episodes. And I'm like, yeah, man. Get 44 00:01:51,114 --> 00:01:53,354 on there. Go subscribe on YouTube to Leading 45 00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:54,450 Saints, and you can, 46 00:01:55,009 --> 00:01:57,090 get a visual of the interview and not 47 00:01:57,090 --> 00:01:58,950 just an audio experience. 48 00:01:59,569 --> 00:02:01,590 And even if you're not a big YouTube 49 00:02:01,649 --> 00:02:03,569 user, I do us a favor because this 50 00:02:03,569 --> 00:02:05,829 actually helps us gain more reach and 51 00:02:06,289 --> 00:02:07,590 expose our content 52 00:02:08,145 --> 00:02:10,465 to individuals who could really benefit from it 53 00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:13,264 leaders around the world. So regardless if you 54 00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:14,865 are on YouTube a lot or not go 55 00:02:14,865 --> 00:02:17,025 to YouTube and search for leading saints, find 56 00:02:17,025 --> 00:02:19,504 the familiar red logo and just subscribe. Even 57 00:02:19,504 --> 00:02:20,884 if you don't plan to, 58 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,900 view every episode there, that's gonna help us 59 00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:26,460 gain a larger audience and more reach, dial 60 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:27,360 in the algorithm, 61 00:02:27,819 --> 00:02:31,099 and, we'll start showing up on leaders' feeds 62 00:02:31,099 --> 00:02:33,500 that they didn't know how much they're missing 63 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,605 here at Leading Saints. So head on over 64 00:02:35,605 --> 00:02:38,185 to YouTube, search for Leading Saints, and subscribe 65 00:02:38,564 --> 00:02:40,805 to our channel. And leave a comment every 66 00:02:40,805 --> 00:02:42,425 once in a while, but be nice. 67 00:02:49,909 --> 00:02:52,629 Today, I'm in person with my guest, professor 68 00:02:52,629 --> 00:02:54,870 Michael Goodman. How are you? Wonderful. Thanks. How 69 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,310 are you? Good. Now we I feel like 70 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,549 we've used and abused you at Leading Saints 71 00:02:58,549 --> 00:02:59,289 with the various 72 00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:02,310 interviews and things, but, you're back again for 73 00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:03,049 more. Happily. 74 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,245 So and I'm glad you agreed to it. 75 00:03:05,245 --> 00:03:06,924 And what I wanted to do with this 76 00:03:06,924 --> 00:03:07,424 session 77 00:03:07,884 --> 00:03:10,704 is I wanted to get a BYU religion 78 00:03:10,764 --> 00:03:11,264 professor 79 00:03:11,644 --> 00:03:15,004 who spends his time studying, researching, oftentimes putting 80 00:03:15,004 --> 00:03:18,719 curriculum together all around the related doctrines for 81 00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:20,879 single adults in the church, whether that's eternal 82 00:03:20,879 --> 00:03:21,379 marriage, 83 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,000 you know, this life, the next life, sealing 84 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,219 and all these things 85 00:03:25,599 --> 00:03:26,819 that relates and 86 00:03:27,199 --> 00:03:28,719 fire some questions at and see what we 87 00:03:28,719 --> 00:03:30,020 can learn. So Super. 88 00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:33,145 You maybe for individuals who aren't familiar with 89 00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:34,985 you and your background, maybe just put yourself 90 00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:37,705 into context with that. K. My PhD is 91 00:03:37,705 --> 00:03:40,125 in marriage and family, and that was 92 00:03:40,824 --> 00:03:43,224 wonderful opportunity to formalize a passion that I've 93 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,485 always had, which is to understand what makes 94 00:03:45,669 --> 00:03:47,769 marriage work, what makes family work. 95 00:03:48,069 --> 00:03:48,810 I'm a mutt, 96 00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:51,110 so I've got a I've got an associates 97 00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:53,590 in business, a bachelor's in journalism, a master's 98 00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:55,110 in IT, and a PhD in marriage and 99 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,069 family, and I teach religion. So Oh, goodness. 100 00:03:57,349 --> 00:03:58,709 So I'm a high quality mutt, or at 101 00:03:58,709 --> 00:03:59,909 least a mutt one way or the other, 102 00:03:59,909 --> 00:04:01,985 but it's given me a background and a 103 00:04:01,985 --> 00:04:02,485 perspective 104 00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:05,025 academically that helps me to speak on different 105 00:04:05,025 --> 00:04:07,584 topics. I've had many wonderful opportunities to serve 106 00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:09,504 in the church. I've been a BYU Bishop. 107 00:04:09,504 --> 00:04:11,985 I've been a Mission President. I've served on 108 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,784 several general committees for the church. Currently, I 109 00:04:14,784 --> 00:04:15,685 am doing that. 110 00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:16,519 So, 111 00:04:16,819 --> 00:04:18,819 yeah, that's about me in a nutshell. And 112 00:04:18,819 --> 00:04:21,300 sounds like a well rounded, individual. So that's 113 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,759 good. Yeah. That's great. So 114 00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:25,459 you were you chaired the committee of putting 115 00:04:25,459 --> 00:04:28,180 together the eternal family or what what what's 116 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,259 the course called? Eternal family. Cur eternal families. 117 00:04:30,259 --> 00:04:32,314 And and this is a religion course that 118 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,894 every student BYU takes. Is that right? Exactly. 119 00:04:34,954 --> 00:04:37,354 So there's a there are four core what 120 00:04:37,354 --> 00:04:39,995 we call cornerstone classes that every BYU student 121 00:04:39,995 --> 00:04:42,014 has to take from the religion department. 122 00:04:42,794 --> 00:04:44,954 One based around the bible, one based around 123 00:04:44,954 --> 00:04:46,750 the doctrine of covenants, one based around the 124 00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:48,289 Book of Mormon and 125 00:04:48,669 --> 00:04:50,990 the eternal family. What? I was the chair 126 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,930 of the group that put that together and 127 00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,009 also wrote the BYU online 128 00:04:55,389 --> 00:04:58,349 curriculum for that. Great. Great. So, you're a 129 00:04:58,349 --> 00:05:00,269 go to here. You'll if if there is 130 00:05:00,269 --> 00:05:02,545 an answer, you probably have it. So I'll 131 00:05:02,545 --> 00:05:03,824 give you an answer. You left your side 132 00:05:03,824 --> 00:05:05,904 of it. So I alright. But, yeah, I've 133 00:05:05,904 --> 00:05:07,345 I've got a little bit of experience with 134 00:05:07,345 --> 00:05:08,944 this. Cool. Well, let's start there. As far 135 00:05:08,944 --> 00:05:11,904 as, like, how does BYU handle teaching eternal 136 00:05:11,904 --> 00:05:14,649 families and marriage, especially in a group that 137 00:05:14,649 --> 00:05:17,449 you're hoping is moving towards maybe that ceiling 138 00:05:17,449 --> 00:05:19,849 ordinance, you know? You bet. We've got the 139 00:05:19,849 --> 00:05:23,050 the interesting reality here is that about 80% 140 00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:25,310 of our students are single, 20%, 141 00:05:25,449 --> 00:05:27,689 maybe a little less sometimes are married. So 142 00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:28,829 we're teaching a mixed 143 00:05:29,654 --> 00:05:30,154 status 144 00:05:31,095 --> 00:05:31,595 audience. 145 00:05:31,974 --> 00:05:34,214 But the the class is meant to teach 146 00:05:34,214 --> 00:05:35,995 the doctrines and principles 147 00:05:36,615 --> 00:05:38,714 that God has revealed through prophets 148 00:05:39,254 --> 00:05:41,034 regarding the the the 149 00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:43,839 eternal nature of family. Now, most of us 150 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,160 who teach it, including myself, have PhDs in 151 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:46,819 the topic 152 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,319 act are active social scientists. So we will 153 00:05:50,319 --> 00:05:52,160 add some of those things to the material. 154 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,079 But the reality is the course is based 155 00:05:54,079 --> 00:05:56,500 on what have prophets, seers, and revelators taught 156 00:05:56,935 --> 00:05:59,254 regarding the nature of marriage and family in 157 00:05:59,254 --> 00:06:01,995 the eternities and how to take those truths 158 00:06:02,055 --> 00:06:03,915 and some of the things we learned from 159 00:06:04,535 --> 00:06:07,435 day to day living and help people succeed 160 00:06:07,814 --> 00:06:09,574 in in their marriage and family life. Yeah. 161 00:06:09,574 --> 00:06:12,129 And I would guess, like even in other 162 00:06:12,129 --> 00:06:15,029 religious institutions or colleges, I mean, there's no 163 00:06:15,410 --> 00:06:18,449 family type of curriculum that they're getting. Yeah. 164 00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:19,430 This is a bit unique. 165 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:22,770 There are there are family systems, more of 166 00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:24,230 a secular study of the family. 167 00:06:24,944 --> 00:06:25,685 There are 168 00:06:26,064 --> 00:06:28,725 classes that are explicitly based on 169 00:06:29,185 --> 00:06:31,665 on either people's best guess or the science 170 00:06:31,665 --> 00:06:33,824 behind how do you do marriage better. And 171 00:06:33,824 --> 00:06:35,504 most of those are based in communication or 172 00:06:35,504 --> 00:06:37,985 some other thing. This class is quite unique 173 00:06:37,985 --> 00:06:39,685 in in its focus on 174 00:06:40,139 --> 00:06:42,459 we understand to be eternal principles related to 175 00:06:42,459 --> 00:06:45,019 this. Now, eternal principles are crucial when you're 176 00:06:45,019 --> 00:06:46,379 trying to understand what's gonna happen in the 177 00:06:46,379 --> 00:06:47,500 next life in the nature of marriage and 178 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:49,500 family, but we also talk about Monday and 179 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,759 we talk about sexuality and we talk about 180 00:06:51,899 --> 00:06:53,995 communication. We do all those things as well, 181 00:06:53,995 --> 00:06:55,754 but we put that into the context of 182 00:06:55,754 --> 00:06:58,415 the the plan of salvation. Yeah. Yeah. So 183 00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:00,955 where's do we start building a foundation here 184 00:07:00,955 --> 00:07:03,355 as far as the as doctrine related to 185 00:07:03,355 --> 00:07:05,295 eternal family? And, obviously, 186 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,610 our hope is to help leaders or other 187 00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:11,670 individuals better understand this to be a better 188 00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:14,290 help to maybe those who haven't had that 189 00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:15,029 that blessing 190 00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:18,149 in this life to some extent. You bet. 191 00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:20,230 It's an interesting challenge because 192 00:07:20,714 --> 00:07:22,875 all the other core classes and what you 193 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:25,834 think of as, for instance, seminary classes, they're 194 00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:28,654 all based around a a volume of scripture. 195 00:07:28,955 --> 00:07:30,875 And so our children, from the time they're 196 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:34,175 in primary, are studying and restudying and restudying 197 00:07:34,235 --> 00:07:36,720 Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Bible, all 198 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,240 that. And so by the time they hit 199 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,740 BYU, they've got a pretty solid foundation. 200 00:07:41,439 --> 00:07:43,120 Though it's true in the church, we talk 201 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,740 about the family a lot. 202 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:45,620 It's 203 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,225 often a lot of the family's great, the 204 00:07:48,305 --> 00:07:50,705 Family's wonderful. The family's eternal. You should like 205 00:07:50,705 --> 00:07:53,105 family. Name Jesus Christ, amen. And we move 206 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,084 on. And so we 207 00:07:54,384 --> 00:07:56,384 from primary on, we're not doing a lot 208 00:07:56,384 --> 00:07:59,365 of teaching of the foundations, the doctrines, the 209 00:07:59,584 --> 00:08:02,145 the realities eternally behind it. And so when 210 00:08:02,145 --> 00:08:03,365 students come to BYU, 211 00:08:04,229 --> 00:08:06,629 we don't generally have to convince them that 212 00:08:06,629 --> 00:08:08,149 the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day 213 00:08:08,149 --> 00:08:10,729 Saints values marriage or values family. 214 00:08:11,029 --> 00:08:12,490 But totally honestly, 215 00:08:13,269 --> 00:08:15,529 many of them could not explain why 216 00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:17,990 in detail. I don't want to be insulting 217 00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,814 in any way, but but there's a lot 218 00:08:19,814 --> 00:08:21,415 of learning that goes on in that class. 219 00:08:21,415 --> 00:08:22,154 And so 220 00:08:22,694 --> 00:08:25,915 our class is is it's interesting. We were 221 00:08:26,455 --> 00:08:28,375 when this process was happening, when we were 222 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,134 trying to decide what the core classes of 223 00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:32,830 religion would be, There were a few of 224 00:08:33,049 --> 00:08:35,769 our my beloved friends, my fellow faculty members 225 00:08:35,769 --> 00:08:37,690 that weren't real comfortable with the family being 226 00:08:37,690 --> 00:08:39,470 there because it wasn't based on 227 00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:43,049 a scriptural text. Mhmm. This class is based 228 00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:45,290 in the teachings of living prophets. Yes, we 229 00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:47,945 use scripture. Yes, we take principles from 230 00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:49,764 that. But it's the only one of the 231 00:08:49,764 --> 00:08:52,264 four core classes that is actually a 232 00:08:52,805 --> 00:08:53,945 modern prophets 233 00:08:54,725 --> 00:08:56,965 based class as much as it is anything 234 00:08:56,965 --> 00:08:59,045 else. And so we have an opportunity to 235 00:08:59,045 --> 00:09:00,184 try and help our students 236 00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:03,169 basically from it's not just first date to 237 00:09:03,169 --> 00:09:05,009 chosen mate. It's not just the concept of 238 00:09:05,009 --> 00:09:07,330 how to value it and get married, but 239 00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:09,649 to see where marriage and where family fit 240 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,169 in the eternities. And so you ask the 241 00:09:11,169 --> 00:09:13,029 question, where do we start? Doctrinally, 242 00:09:13,649 --> 00:09:14,950 interestingly, we start 243 00:09:15,495 --> 00:09:18,615 scripturally. And so so for example, we'll bring 244 00:09:18,615 --> 00:09:20,375 students to doctrine and covenants one thirty one 245 00:09:20,375 --> 00:09:21,894 if I'd just read just a Yeah. Yeah. 246 00:09:21,975 --> 00:09:23,975 Just a smidge just for fun. Right? And 247 00:09:23,975 --> 00:09:26,375 most students can almost quote this. Right? In 248 00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:28,215 the celestial glory, there are three heavens or 249 00:09:28,215 --> 00:09:28,715 degrees. 250 00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:31,049 And in order to attain the highest, a 251 00:09:31,049 --> 00:09:32,809 man must enter into this order of the 252 00:09:32,809 --> 00:09:33,309 priesthood, 253 00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:35,769 which, by the way, when the scripture was 254 00:09:35,769 --> 00:09:38,089 given or when it was written down by 255 00:09:38,089 --> 00:09:41,049 Joseph Scribe, the parenthetical statement, meaning the new 256 00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:42,809 and everlasting covenant of marriage, was not part 257 00:09:42,809 --> 00:09:45,784 of the text. That was added later by 258 00:09:45,784 --> 00:09:48,264 Brigham Young. But in order to obtain the 259 00:09:48,264 --> 00:09:49,585 highest, a man must enter into this order 260 00:09:49,585 --> 00:09:51,404 of the priesthood. And if he does not, 261 00:09:51,544 --> 00:09:54,504 he cannot obtain it. Obtain what? Obtain the 262 00:09:54,504 --> 00:09:55,725 highest degree, 263 00:09:56,184 --> 00:09:57,945 in the celestial kingdom. He may enter into 264 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,490 the others, but that is the end of 265 00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:01,649 his increase. He cannot have an increase. So 266 00:10:01,649 --> 00:10:04,290 so before this, back in 1830 well, in 267 00:10:04,290 --> 00:10:06,210 the eighteen thirties, late eighteen thirties, Joseph was 268 00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:09,090 already teaching the possibility of eternal family that 269 00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:10,929 you could be sealed to someone for eternity. 270 00:10:10,929 --> 00:10:12,945 So the earliest documents we have on that 271 00:10:13,424 --> 00:10:13,924 from 272 00:10:14,225 --> 00:10:16,065 they just went blank on it. Well, not 273 00:10:16,065 --> 00:10:18,164 Wilford would have w w Phelps 274 00:10:19,105 --> 00:10:20,565 and partly p Pratt 275 00:10:21,424 --> 00:10:23,424 share in their journals or in their letters 276 00:10:23,424 --> 00:10:25,585 to their family that, hey, this wonderful doctrine, 277 00:10:25,585 --> 00:10:27,299 you could be sealed forever. But none of 278 00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:29,720 those said you had to be sealed. 279 00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,200 They didn't make your salvation 280 00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:35,799 contingent on your marital status. 281 00:10:36,259 --> 00:10:37,940 This was the first one that did that. 282 00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:40,279 Doctor. Comes one thirty one, which said, no. 283 00:10:41,134 --> 00:10:42,995 For our ultimate purpose in life, 284 00:10:43,455 --> 00:10:45,534 it requires a man and a woman to 285 00:10:45,534 --> 00:10:47,134 be sealed together. And then, of course, if 286 00:10:47,134 --> 00:10:48,835 you go into section one thirty two, 287 00:10:49,294 --> 00:10:51,455 it continues that. People often get lost in 288 00:10:51,455 --> 00:10:52,975 one thirty two because it it deals with 289 00:10:52,975 --> 00:10:54,695 plural marriage, which we'll talk about today Yeah. 290 00:10:54,735 --> 00:10:57,000 A little bit also. But they don't realize 291 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,160 that the the first whole beginning has nothing 292 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,440 to do with plural marriage. It has to 293 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:01,879 do with eternal marriage. And so if you 294 00:11:01,879 --> 00:11:03,639 take one thirty one and one thirty two, 295 00:11:03,639 --> 00:11:06,139 that really gives you your doctrinal base. 296 00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:08,040 And then, of course, in our class, we're 297 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,060 going to go to the family proclamation. 298 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,845 That's what the class is based off of. 299 00:11:13,304 --> 00:11:15,384 In fact, we have 14 units. They're based 300 00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,625 off of each of the paragraphs of the 301 00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:19,784 family proclamation with a little bit of a 302 00:11:19,784 --> 00:11:21,945 little bit of wiggle room in there. But 303 00:11:21,945 --> 00:11:23,704 you have a statement like this. We, the 304 00:11:23,704 --> 00:11:26,125 first presence in the Council of Twelve Apostles 305 00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:28,160 of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter 306 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,320 day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a 307 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,820 man and a woman is ordained of God. 308 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,360 So, yeah, God likes it. And that the 309 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,320 family is central to the creator's plan for 310 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,605 the eternal destiny of his children. So so 311 00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:43,424 you're beginning to see this concept of of 312 00:11:43,644 --> 00:11:45,024 family is not just nice. 313 00:11:45,485 --> 00:11:47,745 Marriage isn't just sweet if it happens, 314 00:11:48,365 --> 00:11:49,345 but it's actually 315 00:11:49,644 --> 00:11:51,884 central to the creator's plan for our eternal 316 00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:52,384 destiny. 317 00:11:53,199 --> 00:11:54,019 And so 318 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,120 those provide what you'd say is is is 319 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,079 foundational texts for it. But prophets, as you 320 00:12:00,079 --> 00:12:01,539 know, have been teaching for 321 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:02,899 a long time. 322 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,179 President Oaks, probably one of the more frequent 323 00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:09,034 speakers on this topic, right? And President Nelson, 324 00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,615 both of them, funny thing they're in the 325 00:12:10,615 --> 00:12:12,934 first presidency now. Yeah. President Oaks, here's a 326 00:12:12,934 --> 00:12:15,355 here's a couple thoughts for you. Our theology 327 00:12:16,215 --> 00:12:18,394 begins with heavenly parents. 328 00:12:19,254 --> 00:12:20,634 Our highest aspiration 329 00:12:21,519 --> 00:12:24,079 is to be like them. So think of 330 00:12:24,079 --> 00:12:25,459 section one thirty one. 331 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,440 In order to obtain the highest degree of 332 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,519 the celestial kingdom, you have to have a 333 00:12:29,519 --> 00:12:31,120 man and a woman sealed together. You think 334 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,519 of section one thirty two, which reiterates that 335 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:34,740 in very graphic detail. 336 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:35,855 Why? 337 00:12:36,235 --> 00:12:39,195 Because it's central to God's plan for our 338 00:12:39,195 --> 00:12:40,095 ultimate destiny. 339 00:12:40,394 --> 00:12:41,934 What is our ultimate destiny? 340 00:12:42,475 --> 00:12:44,174 That's where a statement like this 341 00:12:44,634 --> 00:12:47,595 from President Oaks, our theology begins with heavenly 342 00:12:47,595 --> 00:12:49,914 parents. Our highest aspiration is to be like 343 00:12:49,914 --> 00:12:53,220 them. And then statements like this, the purpose 344 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:55,000 this is Elder Oaks also. 345 00:12:55,779 --> 00:12:57,320 The purpose of mortal life 346 00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:59,779 and the mission of The Church of Jesus 347 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,240 Christ of Latter day Saints 348 00:13:01,779 --> 00:13:04,179 is to prepare the sons and daughters of 349 00:13:04,179 --> 00:13:05,720 God for their eternal 350 00:13:06,254 --> 00:13:06,754 destiny, 351 00:13:07,295 --> 00:13:07,795 dash, 352 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,754 to become like our heavenly parents. 353 00:13:11,934 --> 00:13:12,674 A fairly 354 00:13:13,535 --> 00:13:14,674 straightforward declaration 355 00:13:14,975 --> 00:13:17,295 that that heavenly father is not interested in 356 00:13:17,295 --> 00:13:19,795 turning us into kind of heavenly cheerleaders, 357 00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:22,570 but that the goal of our heavenly parents 358 00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:24,250 is to help us become like them, which 359 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,009 shouldn't seem so strange being as that's kind 360 00:13:26,009 --> 00:13:27,649 of the goal of Yeah. We experience this 361 00:13:27,769 --> 00:13:29,929 that as mortals. Right? Exactly. And so so 362 00:13:29,929 --> 00:13:32,330 I guess you'd say, when we're looking at 363 00:13:32,330 --> 00:13:33,950 at the doctrine of marriage, 364 00:13:34,495 --> 00:13:36,975 the doctrine of marriage cannot be understood outside 365 00:13:36,975 --> 00:13:38,195 of the plan of salvation. 366 00:13:38,575 --> 00:13:41,295 It can't be understood outside of our destiny 367 00:13:41,295 --> 00:13:43,695 to become like our heavenly parents. Really love 368 00:13:43,695 --> 00:13:45,855 a statement by Ted R. Callister. He says 369 00:13:45,855 --> 00:13:46,355 this, 370 00:13:46,879 --> 00:13:48,899 It is this doctrine of identity 371 00:13:49,839 --> 00:13:51,779 that defines our potential 372 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:52,580 destiny 373 00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:53,779 of godhood. 374 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,440 If one does not correctly understand his divine 375 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,200 identity, wish we could have his and hers 376 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,295 in there, understand it's there, 377 00:14:01,835 --> 00:14:04,634 then he will never correctly understand his divine 378 00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:05,134 destiny. 379 00:14:05,915 --> 00:14:07,995 They are in truth, inseparable partners. And so 380 00:14:07,995 --> 00:14:10,235 we begin our understanding of the concept of 381 00:14:10,235 --> 00:14:11,215 eternal family, 382 00:14:11,835 --> 00:14:13,375 truthfully, not with marriage, 383 00:14:13,835 --> 00:14:14,894 but with our 384 00:14:15,379 --> 00:14:17,940 childhood to God that we are the children 385 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,340 of God and if children then heirs heirs 386 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:22,759 to God to become like God. 387 00:14:23,139 --> 00:14:24,120 Never is equal, 388 00:14:24,659 --> 00:14:26,899 never her equal, never have any mother's equal, 389 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:27,399 but 390 00:14:28,504 --> 00:14:30,904 their goal for us is to help us 391 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:33,225 become as they are and to receive all 392 00:14:33,225 --> 00:14:35,225 that they have. That's section one thirty two 393 00:14:35,225 --> 00:14:37,545 in a nutshell. Yeah. So Yeah. That's helpful. 394 00:14:37,545 --> 00:14:38,665 And, you know, just the other day, I 395 00:14:38,665 --> 00:14:40,990 was listening to an interview between two evangelical 396 00:14:40,990 --> 00:14:43,069 Christians, and they got on the topic of 397 00:14:43,069 --> 00:14:45,569 marriage. And I think outside of 398 00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:48,509 our faith tradition in the Christian world, you 399 00:14:48,509 --> 00:14:50,190 know, there's a belief that marriage does not 400 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,750 continue after life or nor does marrying, nor 401 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,069 does any of those type of relationships continue. 402 00:14:55,069 --> 00:14:57,065 Right. And so this is such a remarkable 403 00:14:57,205 --> 00:14:59,365 doctrine that's been revealed. And and we especially 404 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,605 look at, you know, heavenly parents. It's easy 405 00:15:01,605 --> 00:15:03,445 to think, wow, you mean there's a a 406 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:06,004 feminine divine as well? Like, that's so powerful. 407 00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:08,985 That also means that there's a an eternal 408 00:15:09,205 --> 00:15:12,220 a divine marriage that's happening, which is just 409 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,000 as weighty and exciting 410 00:15:14,379 --> 00:15:16,620 as realizing that we have a mother in 411 00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:17,759 heaven. It's huge. 412 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,139 The doctrine of mother in heaven is not 413 00:15:20,139 --> 00:15:22,399 a fringe doctrine as the brethren have said 414 00:15:22,779 --> 00:15:24,860 on the very church website, the essay on 415 00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:27,195 heavenly mother, is that this is a cherished 416 00:15:27,355 --> 00:15:28,654 and important belief 417 00:15:29,115 --> 00:15:30,174 doctrine of ours. 418 00:15:30,634 --> 00:15:33,115 I teach I've taught about 10,000 students at 419 00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:34,654 BYU. I'm an old man. 420 00:15:35,274 --> 00:15:38,014 Given semester of three to 500 students. Right? 421 00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:40,654 I wish you could look in the eyes 422 00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:43,319 of these bright, brilliant women 423 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,039 as they come to begin to see 424 00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:49,399 the reality of a mother in heaven, 425 00:15:49,779 --> 00:15:52,179 that they're not meant to grow up to 426 00:15:52,179 --> 00:15:54,179 be a a kind of a different version 427 00:15:54,179 --> 00:15:55,319 of Heavenly Father, 428 00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:58,014 but that they have a mother in heaven 429 00:15:58,075 --> 00:16:01,035 as well and that that that puts the 430 00:16:01,035 --> 00:16:03,054 plan of salvation into a familial 431 00:16:03,514 --> 00:16:06,315 framework Yeah. Where we can begin to understand 432 00:16:06,315 --> 00:16:08,315 that it's our identity as the children of 433 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:08,815 God 434 00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:12,450 to receive all that they have. Yeah. Yeah. 435 00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:14,450 So as you, like, lay that foundation, like, 436 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:15,889 it's so fun to listen to because you 437 00:16:15,889 --> 00:16:18,769 just realize how miraculous this is, how these 438 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,230 doctrines are so 439 00:16:21,184 --> 00:16:23,745 so miraculous and and they're exciting and that 440 00:16:23,745 --> 00:16:25,424 you feel that energy. And then I try 441 00:16:25,424 --> 00:16:27,264 and put myself into the shoes of a 442 00:16:27,264 --> 00:16:29,105 a single adult, and it's sort of like, 443 00:16:29,105 --> 00:16:31,664 wow, that is miraculous, and I don't get 444 00:16:31,664 --> 00:16:33,345 any piece of that. Right? Or and then 445 00:16:33,345 --> 00:16:35,105 you default you know, leaders default to the 446 00:16:35,184 --> 00:16:37,450 oh, well, we've been promised that someday you'll 447 00:16:37,450 --> 00:16:38,970 you'll everybody will get the chance. It was 448 00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,129 like, well What about now? Yeah. What about 449 00:16:41,129 --> 00:16:43,370 now? So after laying that foundation, like, just 450 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:46,009 speaking to single adults, like, where do we 451 00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:48,490 go with that? You bet. I think it's 452 00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:48,990 crucial 453 00:16:49,929 --> 00:16:50,909 that we acknowledge 454 00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:53,875 the pain to start with. 455 00:16:54,254 --> 00:16:57,375 Not all experience that. Some are bushy eyed 456 00:16:57,375 --> 00:16:59,534 and and bushy tailed and bright eyed and 457 00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:01,214 just happy as little clams, and they're just 458 00:17:01,214 --> 00:17:03,774 going through it. 20, they're happy. 30, they're 459 00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:05,730 happy. 40, they're still they have. 460 00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:08,630 Some are not affected, but others are 461 00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:11,970 dear beloved friends of mine who who have 462 00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:12,470 experienced 463 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:15,109 just psychic pain 464 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,509 because they felt like, well, where am I? 465 00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:19,009 Where am I in this plan? They have 466 00:17:19,009 --> 00:17:20,230 a hard time seeing themselves 467 00:17:20,554 --> 00:17:22,015 whether they're simply single 468 00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:24,714 and haven't had an opportunity or or it 469 00:17:24,714 --> 00:17:26,875 hasn't worked or whether they experience same sex 470 00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:29,054 attraction or gender dysphoria or whatever 471 00:17:29,355 --> 00:17:31,275 the issue is that they they're saying, where 472 00:17:31,275 --> 00:17:33,035 do I fit? And so I think I 473 00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:35,214 think it's crucial that we start by 474 00:17:35,569 --> 00:17:38,049 by being honest and saying, yeah, I can 475 00:17:38,049 --> 00:17:40,289 understand how that could be painful. Mhmm. And 476 00:17:40,289 --> 00:17:41,809 not simply blowing it off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 477 00:17:41,809 --> 00:17:43,009 In the next life, it's all gonna be 478 00:17:43,009 --> 00:17:44,210 good, which, by the way, we believe in 479 00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:45,650 the next life it all will be good. 480 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:46,690 But you don't have to wait till the 481 00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:49,029 next life for that goodness to start. Right? 482 00:17:49,294 --> 00:17:51,794 I love a statement by Neil a Maxwell. 483 00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:54,095 Oh, Neil a Waxhaw. I just lied. Neil 484 00:17:54,095 --> 00:17:54,674 l Anderson. 485 00:17:55,615 --> 00:17:57,934 When he was teaching in general conference two 486 00:17:57,934 --> 00:17:59,394 thousand sixteen, he said this. 487 00:18:00,015 --> 00:18:02,335 We will continue to teach the Lord's pattern 488 00:18:02,335 --> 00:18:02,994 for families. 489 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,359 But now with millions of members and the 490 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,519 diversity we have in the children of the 491 00:18:08,519 --> 00:18:09,019 church, 492 00:18:09,559 --> 00:18:11,640 we need to be even more thoughtful and 493 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:12,140 sensitive. 494 00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:15,319 Our church culture and vernacular are at times 495 00:18:15,319 --> 00:18:16,220 quite unique. 496 00:18:16,519 --> 00:18:18,285 It's a good way to put it. The 497 00:18:18,285 --> 00:18:20,605 primary children are not going to stop singing. 498 00:18:20,605 --> 00:18:22,065 Families can be together forever. 499 00:18:22,444 --> 00:18:24,285 But when they sing, I am so glad 500 00:18:24,285 --> 00:18:26,845 when daddy comes home or with father and 501 00:18:26,845 --> 00:18:28,224 mother leading the way. 502 00:18:28,684 --> 00:18:30,605 Not all children will be singing about their 503 00:18:30,605 --> 00:18:31,265 own family. 504 00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:33,309 And we have to realize that. 505 00:18:33,769 --> 00:18:36,029 I was I was raised by two 506 00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:36,910 wonderful, 507 00:18:37,690 --> 00:18:38,190 wonderful 508 00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:39,869 alcoholic parents. 509 00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:42,190 My family did not 510 00:18:42,809 --> 00:18:45,305 match the picture of what we learned families 511 00:18:45,305 --> 00:18:47,545 are, in theory, intended to be in this 512 00:18:47,545 --> 00:18:48,045 life. 513 00:18:48,505 --> 00:18:50,184 But that did not make of me a 514 00:18:50,184 --> 00:18:51,404 second class citizen. 515 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,345 As Elder Gong and and several others that 516 00:18:54,345 --> 00:18:55,865 have actually got statements I'll I'll share a 517 00:18:55,865 --> 00:18:57,865 little bit later have stated in general conference, 518 00:18:57,865 --> 00:19:00,859 our our status with God isn't based on 519 00:19:00,859 --> 00:19:02,160 our marital status. 520 00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:04,859 It's based off our heart. It's based off 521 00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:07,900 our covenant connection with God. And so I'd 522 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,059 simply say as we as we continue to 523 00:19:10,059 --> 00:19:12,345 teach the doctrines, we realize there are some 524 00:19:12,345 --> 00:19:14,345 that have a hard time seeing themselves in 525 00:19:14,345 --> 00:19:17,005 there and acknowledge that pain and 526 00:19:17,384 --> 00:19:19,704 live in that pain. Be willing to sit 527 00:19:19,704 --> 00:19:21,644 down with someone and let them share 528 00:19:22,105 --> 00:19:24,664 without doing what I'm I'm infamous. I wouldn't 529 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,825 say famous. This is the bad part of 530 00:19:26,825 --> 00:19:29,039 wanting to solve. Right? I'm like, yeah. Yeah. 531 00:19:29,039 --> 00:19:29,539 But 532 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,619 yeah. Please solve. 533 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,640 But no one is gonna care squad of 534 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,480 what you say if they don't think you 535 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,400 understand where they're coming from. Yeah. I think 536 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,875 that's really crucial. Like, just making space to 537 00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:43,275 acknowledge that pain because it's uncomfortable. Like, I 538 00:19:43,275 --> 00:19:44,555 don't wanna be in a room where somebody 539 00:19:44,555 --> 00:19:46,555 is feeling pain. I wanna swoop in there 540 00:19:46,555 --> 00:19:47,914 and and make it all better, you know? 541 00:19:47,914 --> 00:19:49,595 That's right. And so I think that's just 542 00:19:49,595 --> 00:19:51,674 great advice that it's not that there's some 543 00:19:51,674 --> 00:19:53,789 scripture if you read a certain way or 544 00:19:53,869 --> 00:19:55,549 a quote that nobody's heard of in the 545 00:19:55,549 --> 00:19:57,869 morning. Yeah, exactly. But it's more of like 546 00:19:57,869 --> 00:19:59,470 just sitting with them. And it really, you 547 00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:01,309 know, the savior was the master of that, 548 00:20:01,309 --> 00:20:02,830 just sitting with them in the pain and 549 00:20:02,830 --> 00:20:04,750 saying, I bet that hurts. You know, I 550 00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:06,750 don't I don't fully understand that. I haven't 551 00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,294 lived your life, but I bet that really 552 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:09,654 hurts. I'm willing to sit with you in 553 00:20:09,654 --> 00:20:10,554 that direction. Exactly. 554 00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:13,174 Where where I think I think we're getting 555 00:20:13,174 --> 00:20:14,774 better and better at that nowadays. I think 556 00:20:14,774 --> 00:20:17,174 that that our culture is such that that 557 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,474 that is the expected 558 00:20:19,414 --> 00:20:22,454 reaction, and it's the right one. Mhmm. Without 559 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,509 it, nothing else works. But I also think 560 00:20:24,509 --> 00:20:26,529 we forget that the savior never stopped there. 561 00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:29,309 Yeah. Right? Like, Elder Holland's fond of saying, 562 00:20:29,309 --> 00:20:30,670 you know, God will take you right where 563 00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:32,029 you are. He just won't leave you where 564 00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:34,029 you are. Right? He's gonna continue. And so, 565 00:20:34,029 --> 00:20:36,210 yes, live with that person. But then 566 00:20:36,625 --> 00:20:37,125 ultimately, 567 00:20:38,144 --> 00:20:40,304 not only, yes, it'll work out in the 568 00:20:40,304 --> 00:20:42,164 next life, but say, okay. What about now? 569 00:20:42,464 --> 00:20:43,744 What do we need to know now so 570 00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,444 that we can experience joy 571 00:20:45,984 --> 00:20:48,065 now? Can can I share a few principles? 572 00:20:48,065 --> 00:20:50,109 Yeah. Let's do it. Thoughts. I think of 573 00:20:50,109 --> 00:20:51,409 these as kind of four 574 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,049 overarching principles that help us to understand 575 00:20:54,349 --> 00:20:56,750 the ceiling ordinance that help us understand how 576 00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:58,690 this fits for a single or 577 00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:01,250 a divorced person. Both my parents divorced, 578 00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:04,190 and that's ripping rich and ripe in my 579 00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:04,690 family. 580 00:21:05,375 --> 00:21:06,975 What are the principles that can help us 581 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,394 understand how God's gonna make it all right 582 00:21:10,015 --> 00:21:11,154 as long as we 583 00:21:11,615 --> 00:21:13,715 stay covenant connected to him? So one, 584 00:21:14,335 --> 00:21:16,174 no one will be denied any blessing that 585 00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,174 Heavenly Father has promised all his children because 586 00:21:18,174 --> 00:21:19,970 of something outside their control. I'm going to 587 00:21:19,970 --> 00:21:21,970 share a couple of statements from the prophets 588 00:21:21,970 --> 00:21:23,250 so it's not just from Brother Goodman because 589 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,330 that would be very scary. Because Brother Goodman 590 00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:27,250 said you should never believe it. But if 591 00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,849 the prophet said that, then we're a little 592 00:21:28,849 --> 00:21:29,430 bit better. 593 00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:32,690 But God will not deny any blessing to 594 00:21:32,690 --> 00:21:34,450 his children because of something outside of their 595 00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:34,950 control. 596 00:21:35,305 --> 00:21:37,545 And so when we are doing all that 597 00:21:37,545 --> 00:21:39,085 we can in righteousness, 598 00:21:39,785 --> 00:21:41,884 no matter what our situation is, 599 00:21:42,345 --> 00:21:43,945 the Lord will take that and turn it 600 00:21:43,945 --> 00:21:44,684 into gold. 601 00:21:45,065 --> 00:21:47,785 And nobody will be denied. Pick your pick 602 00:21:47,785 --> 00:21:50,099 your challenge. Pick your mental health challenge. Pick 603 00:21:50,099 --> 00:21:53,559 your physical health challenge. Pick your geographic isolation 604 00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:54,279 challenge. 605 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:58,500 Pick your social awkwardness challenge. You know, whatever 606 00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:00,579 it is, pick the reality that some people 607 00:22:00,579 --> 00:22:02,339 don't feel an attraction of some of the 608 00:22:02,339 --> 00:22:05,054 opposite gender or they just feel uncomfortable in 609 00:22:05,054 --> 00:22:07,214 their skin as far as their own gender. 610 00:22:07,214 --> 00:22:09,534 There are many reasons why people may not, 611 00:22:09,534 --> 00:22:10,595 at this moment, 612 00:22:11,294 --> 00:22:13,315 see themselves in the plan of salvation. 613 00:22:13,774 --> 00:22:16,014 I think it's absolutely crucial that we start 614 00:22:16,014 --> 00:22:17,794 by saying you're there. 615 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,039 You're there. I can't promise you that this 616 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:22,500 is there or that is there. 617 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,460 Same sex attraction is there or or 618 00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:26,579 some 619 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,920 aspect of physical or mental health, whatever it 620 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,434 is. I I can't say that, but I 621 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:32,554 can look you in the eye and say 622 00:22:32,554 --> 00:22:34,394 without a doubt, you're in the plan of 623 00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:36,315 salvation. Heavenly father has a plan for you 624 00:22:36,315 --> 00:22:39,115 and you will not be denied any blessing 625 00:22:39,115 --> 00:22:39,615 ultimately 626 00:22:40,075 --> 00:22:42,794 that God promises all of his children. In 627 00:22:42,794 --> 00:22:44,494 other words, until there's hope 628 00:22:45,070 --> 00:22:46,609 until there's hope that they're 629 00:22:47,070 --> 00:22:49,070 the things will feel better than they sometimes 630 00:22:49,070 --> 00:22:50,990 do right now, there's no way to move 631 00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:53,330 forward. So we start with that. Two, 632 00:22:53,869 --> 00:22:56,190 God will not, our heavenly father will not 633 00:22:56,190 --> 00:22:57,410 abrogate agency. 634 00:22:57,934 --> 00:22:59,694 Abrogate's a funky term. You always teach me 635 00:22:59,694 --> 00:23:01,294 a word every time we do an interview. 636 00:23:01,294 --> 00:23:03,474 I I learn a word. Basically means 637 00:23:03,775 --> 00:23:06,115 to stop or limit or take away. 638 00:23:06,575 --> 00:23:07,075 God 639 00:23:07,855 --> 00:23:10,575 cannot be God and take away agency. Now 640 00:23:10,575 --> 00:23:12,095 agency doesn't mean you get to do whatever 641 00:23:12,095 --> 00:23:13,474 you want without any consequences. 642 00:23:13,829 --> 00:23:15,769 Right. But you'll get what you want 643 00:23:16,069 --> 00:23:18,490 as long as that thing that you want 644 00:23:19,029 --> 00:23:19,849 is righteous. 645 00:23:20,789 --> 00:23:23,529 And so if your desire is righteous, 646 00:23:24,549 --> 00:23:27,349 is in line with heavenly father's will for 647 00:23:27,349 --> 00:23:28,169 his children, 648 00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:31,255 he's gonna make it possible. You might say, 649 00:23:31,255 --> 00:23:32,934 I don't see how it's possible. And right 650 00:23:32,934 --> 00:23:35,095 now it's not. And you go, I totally 651 00:23:35,095 --> 00:23:36,934 agree. Right now where you are thinking what 652 00:23:36,934 --> 00:23:39,014 you think, it may not be possible. But 653 00:23:39,014 --> 00:23:41,335 to God, it is. He does not limit 654 00:23:41,335 --> 00:23:43,434 agency. He does not make 655 00:23:43,980 --> 00:23:46,220 it impossible for us to receive all that 656 00:23:46,220 --> 00:23:48,220 he has given if we're simply willing to 657 00:23:48,220 --> 00:23:50,539 do what he's asked us to do. Yeah. 658 00:23:50,539 --> 00:23:51,759 Principle number three. 659 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,980 God loves us with a perfect love and 660 00:23:53,980 --> 00:23:55,980 will do everything in his power to exalt 661 00:23:55,980 --> 00:23:58,484 us. I had an interesting situation when I 662 00:23:58,484 --> 00:24:00,605 was a fairly new convert. Joined the church. 663 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,644 A year later, went on a mission. Came 664 00:24:02,644 --> 00:24:04,904 back. I was off with my brother-in-law, 665 00:24:05,204 --> 00:24:07,684 good friend, and I was kind of bemoaning 666 00:24:07,684 --> 00:24:10,184 the reality of my own family of origin. 667 00:24:10,669 --> 00:24:11,970 Mother and father alcoholics, 668 00:24:12,669 --> 00:24:13,490 drug abuse, 669 00:24:14,029 --> 00:24:16,109 jail time, just you name it. We we're 670 00:24:16,109 --> 00:24:18,589 the poster child of dysfunctionality. Right? And I 671 00:24:18,589 --> 00:24:21,150 was bemoaning the thought that I worried that 672 00:24:21,150 --> 00:24:23,410 I wouldn't be with my parents for eternity. 673 00:24:23,950 --> 00:24:24,929 And my brother-in-law 674 00:24:26,204 --> 00:24:28,125 is not a majorly churchy guy in any 675 00:24:28,125 --> 00:24:29,345 way, but my brother-in-law, 676 00:24:29,644 --> 00:24:31,724 just a good man, looked at me and 677 00:24:31,724 --> 00:24:34,285 said, Mike, do you really think you love 678 00:24:34,285 --> 00:24:35,744 your parents more than God? 679 00:24:36,845 --> 00:24:37,345 Woah. 680 00:24:37,724 --> 00:24:39,325 That's not what I was saying. He said, 681 00:24:39,325 --> 00:24:41,690 yeah. That's exactly what you're saying. What would 682 00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:43,450 you do for your parents if it were 683 00:24:43,450 --> 00:24:44,430 within your control? 684 00:24:44,970 --> 00:24:47,049 Everything. Would you force them? No. I wouldn't 685 00:24:47,049 --> 00:24:48,970 force them because that's not love. There's this 686 00:24:48,970 --> 00:24:51,529 agency thing. Go back to principle two. But 687 00:24:51,529 --> 00:24:53,450 do you really think God won't give them 688 00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:53,950 all 689 00:24:54,484 --> 00:24:56,505 that they are willing to receive? And 690 00:24:57,045 --> 00:24:59,144 it was like all of a sudden, 691 00:25:00,085 --> 00:25:02,565 a massive weight fell from my shoulders. I 692 00:25:02,565 --> 00:25:04,105 know the goodness of my parents. 693 00:25:04,484 --> 00:25:06,265 Neither of them were up for the gospel. 694 00:25:06,644 --> 00:25:07,305 I tried, 695 00:25:08,179 --> 00:25:09,619 but I know the goodness of my parents. 696 00:25:09,619 --> 00:25:10,900 I know I couldn't force them. I know 697 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,839 I can't nor nor will God force them. 698 00:25:13,299 --> 00:25:15,059 But God kinda likes them more than I 699 00:25:15,059 --> 00:25:16,900 do and has a whole lot of more 700 00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:18,500 knowledge than I do. And so if I 701 00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:20,819 understand that he loves with a perfect love 702 00:25:20,819 --> 00:25:22,964 and he's not giving up, He's going to 703 00:25:22,964 --> 00:25:24,664 do everything he can to help 704 00:25:25,045 --> 00:25:26,184 that then can help 705 00:25:26,644 --> 00:25:28,964 us when we are faced with situations we 706 00:25:28,964 --> 00:25:30,804 don't understand, we don't have hope. We can't 707 00:25:30,804 --> 00:25:32,164 figure out how in our own head it's 708 00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:32,984 going to work. 709 00:25:33,285 --> 00:25:34,644 It can't work. And then last but not 710 00:25:34,644 --> 00:25:36,664 least, and this comes down to the concept 711 00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:39,390 of, yeah, cool, but what about now? Through 712 00:25:39,390 --> 00:25:42,190 the grace of Christ, Heavenly Father can provide 713 00:25:42,190 --> 00:25:45,650 solutions to temporary situations outside our control. Mhmm. 714 00:25:46,109 --> 00:25:46,609 No. 715 00:25:47,230 --> 00:25:48,450 Our single friends 716 00:25:48,910 --> 00:25:50,750 don't have to wait till the next life 717 00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,609 to experience joy. That's pure nonsense. 718 00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:54,644 Adam felt that men might be men or 719 00:25:54,644 --> 00:25:56,325 that they might have joy is what the 720 00:25:56,325 --> 00:25:58,565 savior taught. Now, all to ultimately, none of 721 00:25:58,565 --> 00:26:00,484 us have that joy in fullness in this 722 00:26:00,484 --> 00:26:00,984 life. 723 00:26:01,365 --> 00:26:03,525 None of us we we were joking before 724 00:26:03,525 --> 00:26:05,680 we started. None of us are gonna get 725 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,279 out of this alive. None of us are 726 00:26:07,279 --> 00:26:09,840 are challenge free. I I think you're aware 727 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,840 I've just been diagnosed with my fourth case 728 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,840 of cancer. Yeah. I know that I have 729 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,600 cancer. I didn't want my third or my 730 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,360 second or my first. I don't want the 731 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:18,900 treatments I'm about to start. 732 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:20,580 Having said that, 733 00:26:21,015 --> 00:26:23,654 the grace of Christ can do for me 734 00:26:23,654 --> 00:26:25,035 in my situation 735 00:26:25,894 --> 00:26:27,734 what he can do for all in their 736 00:26:27,734 --> 00:26:30,955 situation. He can help us learn to live 737 00:26:31,015 --> 00:26:32,154 life joyously 738 00:26:33,015 --> 00:26:35,769 now. And that's what the prophets are trying 739 00:26:35,769 --> 00:26:38,589 to they're trying to help us see. Yes. 740 00:26:39,049 --> 00:26:40,750 The next life is going to be peachy. 741 00:26:41,049 --> 00:26:42,429 Stop worrying about that. 742 00:26:43,129 --> 00:26:44,889 Start worrying about what you can do right 743 00:26:44,889 --> 00:26:46,409 now. Can I share just a few statements? 744 00:26:46,409 --> 00:26:47,849 Just just for the sheer fun of it. 745 00:26:47,849 --> 00:26:48,349 Yeah. 746 00:26:48,674 --> 00:26:50,755 So a couple just just so you know, 747 00:26:50,755 --> 00:26:52,295 it's not Mike Goodman's. 748 00:26:52,995 --> 00:26:54,595 It's not thus f Mike Goodman. That'd be 749 00:26:54,595 --> 00:26:56,055 so scary. President Kimball, 750 00:26:56,674 --> 00:26:58,835 we promise you that in as far as 751 00:26:58,835 --> 00:27:01,875 eternity is concerned, no soul will be deprived 752 00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:04,880 of rich and high and eternal blessings for 753 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,619 anything which that person could not help, 754 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,019 that the Lord never fails in his promises, 755 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,279 that every righteous person will receive eventually all 756 00:27:13,279 --> 00:27:14,820 to which the person is entitled 757 00:27:15,315 --> 00:27:16,994 and and this is interesting, in which he 758 00:27:16,994 --> 00:27:19,075 or she has not forfeited through any fault 759 00:27:19,075 --> 00:27:21,494 of his or her own. So, yeah, agency 760 00:27:21,554 --> 00:27:23,894 is real and consequences to actions are real. 761 00:27:24,355 --> 00:27:26,274 What the savior is desperately saying and what 762 00:27:26,274 --> 00:27:28,774 president Nelson is just pleading with us is 763 00:27:29,309 --> 00:27:31,169 stay covenant connected. 764 00:27:31,630 --> 00:27:34,109 If you'll stay covenant connected to God, there's 765 00:27:34,109 --> 00:27:37,649 nothing you will lose. There is no no 766 00:27:37,710 --> 00:27:40,349 righteous desire that you could ever hope for 767 00:27:40,349 --> 00:27:42,669 that will not all be yours if you'll 768 00:27:42,669 --> 00:27:45,455 simply stay with me. President Nelson, how about 769 00:27:45,455 --> 00:27:45,955 that? 770 00:27:46,654 --> 00:27:48,355 Through no feeling of their own, 771 00:27:48,815 --> 00:27:51,295 they, some individuals in life, they deal with 772 00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:52,035 the trials 773 00:27:52,735 --> 00:27:53,715 of life alone. 774 00:27:54,335 --> 00:27:55,634 But we all 775 00:27:56,255 --> 00:27:56,755 reminded 776 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,830 be we all reminded that, in the Lord's 777 00:27:59,830 --> 00:28:01,769 own man time, no blessing 778 00:28:02,150 --> 00:28:05,029 would be withheld from his faithful saints. The 779 00:28:05,029 --> 00:28:07,450 Lord will judge and reward each individual according 780 00:28:07,589 --> 00:28:10,309 to heartfelt desires as well as deeds. And 781 00:28:10,309 --> 00:28:10,970 so present 782 00:28:11,325 --> 00:28:13,505 Nelson is saying, listen, don't fear. 783 00:28:13,964 --> 00:28:15,825 Don't live life thinking, oh my goodness. 784 00:28:16,204 --> 00:28:18,444 I'll never have this. It's just not right. 785 00:28:18,444 --> 00:28:20,284 It's not accurate. I'm not gonna read all 786 00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:21,825 these but but literally. 787 00:28:22,684 --> 00:28:25,410 Lorenzo Snow, Harold b Lee, Spencer w Kimber, 788 00:28:25,490 --> 00:28:27,410 Howard w Hunter, Gordon b Hinckley, Thomas s 789 00:28:27,410 --> 00:28:29,330 Monson, Russell M. Nelson, how that's for a 790 00:28:29,330 --> 00:28:31,570 few profit Yeah. Have all made the exact 791 00:28:31,570 --> 00:28:32,390 same statements. 792 00:28:32,930 --> 00:28:35,809 God will make all possible if we will 793 00:28:35,809 --> 00:28:36,710 simply do 794 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:38,230 if we'll stay connected. 795 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:41,005 Then we'll receive all 796 00:28:41,704 --> 00:28:44,365 all that we can, all that we want. 797 00:28:44,744 --> 00:28:46,605 But what does it mean for now? Right? 798 00:28:47,144 --> 00:28:49,325 Richard G. Scott. I love Elder Scott. 799 00:28:49,785 --> 00:28:51,964 He said this, Throughout your life on earth, 800 00:28:52,369 --> 00:28:53,269 seek diligently 801 00:28:53,570 --> 00:28:54,390 to fulfill 802 00:28:55,330 --> 00:28:58,130 the fundamental purposes of this life through the 803 00:28:58,130 --> 00:28:58,630 ideal 804 00:28:58,930 --> 00:28:59,430 family. 805 00:28:59,809 --> 00:29:01,490 Sounds like a very typical thing to say, 806 00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:03,430 right? Mhmm. But then he says this, 807 00:29:03,809 --> 00:29:05,970 While you may not have yet reached that 808 00:29:05,970 --> 00:29:06,470 ideal, 809 00:29:07,315 --> 00:29:09,335 do all you can 810 00:29:09,715 --> 00:29:11,875 through obedience and faith in the Lord to 811 00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:12,375 consistently 812 00:29:12,914 --> 00:29:14,855 draw as close to it 813 00:29:15,154 --> 00:29:16,055 as you're able. 814 00:29:16,434 --> 00:29:18,434 If for the present that does not include 815 00:29:18,434 --> 00:29:20,535 sealing in the temple to a righteous companion, 816 00:29:21,075 --> 00:29:21,815 lift it. 817 00:29:22,269 --> 00:29:23,089 It. Pray for 818 00:29:23,390 --> 00:29:25,410 it. Exercise faith that you'll obtain it. 819 00:29:25,789 --> 00:29:28,029 We cannot say whether that blessing will be 820 00:29:28,029 --> 00:29:29,390 obtained on this side of the veil or 821 00:29:29,390 --> 00:29:31,890 beyond. And we don't make promises God hasn't. 822 00:29:32,190 --> 00:29:34,625 God hasn't said when it's gonna happen. But 823 00:29:34,625 --> 00:29:37,105 the Lord will keep his promises. In his 824 00:29:37,105 --> 00:29:40,225 infinite wisdom, he will make possible all you 825 00:29:40,225 --> 00:29:42,545 qualify in worthiness to receive. So so let 826 00:29:42,545 --> 00:29:44,545 let me let me kinda sum that up. 827 00:29:44,545 --> 00:29:46,305 What he got what he's trying to what 828 00:29:46,305 --> 00:29:48,565 the prophets are saying is listen. 829 00:29:49,049 --> 00:29:50,970 The world would build into you and I 830 00:29:50,970 --> 00:29:51,470 fear 831 00:29:52,009 --> 00:29:52,509 anxiety 832 00:29:52,809 --> 00:29:55,690 that we're an insecurity that we're not enough 833 00:29:55,690 --> 00:29:57,789 or that or that we've been 834 00:29:58,250 --> 00:29:59,390 fed up unfair 835 00:29:59,930 --> 00:30:01,529 Thick or hand of cards. Right? Hand of 836 00:30:01,529 --> 00:30:03,684 cards. Exactly. Try it for, like, a better 837 00:30:03,845 --> 00:30:05,465 I I it'll work. It'll work. 838 00:30:05,845 --> 00:30:07,785 And the reality is, of course, 839 00:30:08,085 --> 00:30:10,744 this life I mean, you know, with with 840 00:30:10,805 --> 00:30:12,085 half of what I can look at and 841 00:30:12,085 --> 00:30:14,105 say life is not fair and that's correct. 842 00:30:14,725 --> 00:30:16,424 But God cannot be unfair. 843 00:30:17,089 --> 00:30:19,830 God cannot be unfair. And he promises 844 00:30:20,369 --> 00:30:20,869 compensatory 845 00:30:21,410 --> 00:30:21,910 blessings 846 00:30:22,690 --> 00:30:24,930 for all of us if we'll simply stay 847 00:30:24,930 --> 00:30:26,070 connected to him. 848 00:30:26,529 --> 00:30:27,029 And 849 00:30:27,490 --> 00:30:29,664 we don't have to wait for the joy 850 00:30:29,664 --> 00:30:30,325 to begin. 851 00:30:30,705 --> 00:30:32,224 One of the things I desperately try to 852 00:30:32,224 --> 00:30:35,265 teach my students at BYU is is learn 853 00:30:35,265 --> 00:30:36,164 to live 854 00:30:36,785 --> 00:30:37,285 relationally 855 00:30:38,065 --> 00:30:40,465 now. Mhmm. You are a part of a 856 00:30:40,465 --> 00:30:42,884 family. You're a son. You're a daughter. 857 00:30:43,250 --> 00:30:44,850 You're a brother. You're a sister. You're an 858 00:30:44,850 --> 00:30:45,910 aunt. You're an uncle. 859 00:30:46,450 --> 00:30:49,590 Learn to live relation what Elder Scott said, 860 00:30:49,650 --> 00:30:51,990 if for the present that's not sealing, well, 861 00:30:52,289 --> 00:30:54,049 get as close to it as you can. 862 00:30:54,049 --> 00:30:55,109 Live familiarly. 863 00:30:56,174 --> 00:30:58,595 Fancy term, which means value family. 864 00:30:59,215 --> 00:31:00,674 Right? Value friendship. 865 00:31:00,975 --> 00:31:01,795 Live relationally. 866 00:31:02,174 --> 00:31:04,575 As we do that, we realize, oh my 867 00:31:04,575 --> 00:31:07,615 goodness, God is a relational being. As we 868 00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:09,394 do that, we begin to build a relationship 869 00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:11,859 not just horizontally, but vertically 870 00:31:12,319 --> 00:31:14,740 with God. Yeah. And then life 871 00:31:15,359 --> 00:31:16,659 becomes rich. 872 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,259 Think about this. 873 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,559 Was Elder Gong in the last conference who 874 00:31:20,559 --> 00:31:23,519 said, we crossed over a decade ago to 875 00:31:23,519 --> 00:31:26,015 where over half of the church Yeah. Is 876 00:31:26,015 --> 00:31:28,894 now either single or well, not married. Yeah. 877 00:31:28,894 --> 00:31:31,394 Single or something. Widowed. Something. Something. Right? 878 00:31:31,695 --> 00:31:33,134 So are we really saying that that that 879 00:31:33,134 --> 00:31:34,815 means that over 50% of the church is 880 00:31:34,815 --> 00:31:37,055 doomed to to misery? Do we really believe 881 00:31:37,055 --> 00:31:37,795 that nonsense? 882 00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:41,579 Ask any single person who's actively living life 883 00:31:41,579 --> 00:31:42,960 and doing their very best. 884 00:31:43,419 --> 00:31:46,079 Are they miserable? No. Are they married? No. 885 00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:47,519 Not yet. 886 00:31:47,980 --> 00:31:49,899 What I would point I want to make 887 00:31:49,899 --> 00:31:51,899 somewhere in what we do today is the 888 00:31:51,899 --> 00:31:55,065 concept of none of us are broken. 889 00:31:55,525 --> 00:31:57,224 Yeah. We're in process. 890 00:31:57,845 --> 00:31:59,765 That's a totally different way of looking at 891 00:31:59,765 --> 00:32:02,105 my life. Yeah. I'm not broken 892 00:32:02,404 --> 00:32:04,404 with all my imperfections and I got oodles 893 00:32:04,404 --> 00:32:05,065 of imperfections, 894 00:32:05,765 --> 00:32:06,904 but I'm in process. 895 00:32:07,299 --> 00:32:10,180 And if I will live relationally, live relationally 896 00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:13,240 with God, bind myself to him, live relationally 897 00:32:13,299 --> 00:32:16,019 with those around me, whether that includes a 898 00:32:16,019 --> 00:32:18,339 romantic one on one marriage at this point 899 00:32:18,339 --> 00:32:19,000 or not, 900 00:32:19,460 --> 00:32:19,960 love. 901 00:32:20,420 --> 00:32:20,920 Live. 902 00:32:21,775 --> 00:32:22,595 Lose yourself 903 00:32:23,295 --> 00:32:25,615 in service to others, and today will be 904 00:32:25,615 --> 00:32:28,414 a joyous day. Yeah. Yeah. That's so so 905 00:32:28,414 --> 00:32:29,934 helpful. And a few things I wanna point 906 00:32:29,934 --> 00:32:32,835 out, like, just in the context of leadership 907 00:32:32,974 --> 00:32:35,420 and whatnot is, you know, you reference, I 908 00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:37,599 think, in principle one that that God won't 909 00:32:37,660 --> 00:32:41,099 God won't deny anybody anything, especially these righteous 910 00:32:41,099 --> 00:32:43,259 blessings. Right? And so we could follow that 911 00:32:43,259 --> 00:32:45,740 example of saying, you know, I'm going to 912 00:32:45,740 --> 00:32:48,460 be an individual, especially a leader that doesn't 913 00:32:48,460 --> 00:32:51,884 deny them of certain opportunities. Right? Now, you 914 00:32:51,884 --> 00:32:53,164 know, as far as in the context of 915 00:32:53,164 --> 00:32:56,144 callings, there's a handful of administrative callings that 916 00:32:56,444 --> 00:32:59,345 yeah. Very, very little. Right? Very few. But 917 00:32:59,404 --> 00:33:01,325 just, you know, from a recent general conference, 918 00:33:01,325 --> 00:33:03,345 that's been the encouragement. We need to 919 00:33:03,779 --> 00:33:05,619 not deny them of some of these beautiful 920 00:33:05,619 --> 00:33:07,619 opportunities in our ward families. And and so 921 00:33:07,619 --> 00:33:09,380 that's I think I love to think that 922 00:33:09,380 --> 00:33:11,380 in the context that God's not denying them 923 00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:13,539 anything. So why do we sometimes deny them 924 00:33:13,539 --> 00:33:15,380 anything? And and God mourns when we do. 925 00:33:15,380 --> 00:33:18,345 Yeah. Right? Because he doesn't love his married 926 00:33:18,345 --> 00:33:20,845 children and and like his single children. 927 00:33:21,225 --> 00:33:24,265 Mhmm. He loves us all. He wants our 928 00:33:24,265 --> 00:33:24,765 happiness. 929 00:33:25,144 --> 00:33:25,545 That's the 930 00:33:26,345 --> 00:33:28,445 it's the whole purpose of our existence. Right? 931 00:33:28,904 --> 00:33:29,644 The world 932 00:33:30,250 --> 00:33:32,329 is selling us a mess of potty when 933 00:33:32,329 --> 00:33:35,150 it's trying to convince us that if you're 934 00:33:35,210 --> 00:33:37,630 not married, you can't have happiness. 935 00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:40,589 If you're not in a stereotypical 936 00:33:41,609 --> 00:33:43,069 Latter day Saint family, 937 00:33:43,785 --> 00:33:46,585 you're an outsider. You don't fit. Now mind 938 00:33:46,585 --> 00:33:48,744 you, I understand that people can treat others 939 00:33:48,744 --> 00:33:50,345 like that. And when we do, shame on 940 00:33:50,345 --> 00:33:52,505 us. Let's get some repentance going on. Right? 941 00:33:52,505 --> 00:33:56,125 Mhmm. But they're not outsiders to God. Yeah. 942 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,640 They're not outsiders to those who truly know 943 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,039 and understand the gospel. And then do we 944 00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:03,299 have to do better? Yes, we do. 945 00:34:03,759 --> 00:34:05,680 And I'm not in any way wanting to 946 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,840 guilt someone who's feeling like that, but I'm 947 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,860 wanting them to understand you belong. 948 00:34:10,295 --> 00:34:11,815 You belong and you're right. At this point, 949 00:34:11,815 --> 00:34:12,635 you're the majority. 950 00:34:13,015 --> 00:34:15,494 Yeah. So so you're you're you're not the 951 00:34:15,494 --> 00:34:18,454 minority. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, 952 00:34:18,454 --> 00:34:20,855 another example of the God loves us, obviously. 953 00:34:20,855 --> 00:34:22,695 I mean, that's primary level, 954 00:34:23,015 --> 00:34:24,855 doctrine, but it's so true. And so the 955 00:34:24,855 --> 00:34:27,170 more that we can reach out and 956 00:34:27,469 --> 00:34:29,630 love those single adults in our circles is 957 00:34:29,630 --> 00:34:32,109 helpful. And and oftentimes, we think and as 958 00:34:32,109 --> 00:34:35,010 I've interviewed other single adults for this summit, 959 00:34:35,469 --> 00:34:37,710 that's been a strong message of of stories 960 00:34:37,710 --> 00:34:39,230 of people who really love them. And it's 961 00:34:39,230 --> 00:34:40,734 not like, oh, I I sat next to 962 00:34:40,734 --> 00:34:42,494 you in the pew. Like, that's good enough. 963 00:34:42,494 --> 00:34:44,414 Right? But, like, no. You're, like, coming over 964 00:34:44,414 --> 00:34:46,255 to our family dinner. You're, like, part of 965 00:34:46,255 --> 00:34:46,994 us. Like 966 00:34:47,295 --> 00:34:47,954 like, really, 967 00:34:48,335 --> 00:34:50,414 you know, making them part of that that 968 00:34:50,414 --> 00:34:52,255 relationship, whether it's in your family or in 969 00:34:52,255 --> 00:34:54,014 the the local community can go a long 970 00:34:54,014 --> 00:34:54,914 way, you know? 971 00:34:55,219 --> 00:34:57,699 And then the, the covenant connected like as 972 00:34:57,699 --> 00:34:59,699 a leader, like that's sort of the direction 973 00:34:59,699 --> 00:35:01,799 you can push them rather than, well, 974 00:35:02,179 --> 00:35:03,539 how many days you did this week or 975 00:35:03,539 --> 00:35:05,139 how many times you swipe white right then 976 00:35:05,139 --> 00:35:07,539 left or whatever. Right. It's more of like, 977 00:35:07,539 --> 00:35:09,940 how can you as as a single Latter 978 00:35:09,940 --> 00:35:10,599 day Saint 979 00:35:10,905 --> 00:35:12,425 be covenant connected? What do you think? You 980 00:35:12,425 --> 00:35:14,184 know? And and that's where the focus is, 981 00:35:14,184 --> 00:35:15,085 that relationship 982 00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:18,265 with God and our savior rather than, you 983 00:35:18,265 --> 00:35:19,704 know, we've got to go find somebody. That's 984 00:35:19,704 --> 00:35:22,425 right. That's right. Absolutely true. And then just 985 00:35:22,425 --> 00:35:24,440 the they would just it's along the same 986 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,940 line. Just live relationally now. I mean, because 987 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:29,559 God made us that we are relationship creatures. 988 00:35:29,559 --> 00:35:31,079 You don't do well without them. Right. And 989 00:35:31,079 --> 00:35:32,380 there's no way around that. 990 00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:34,859 Even especially now, it feels 991 00:35:35,285 --> 00:35:37,125 like we're connected more than we are in 992 00:35:37,125 --> 00:35:39,125 reality. We really need people on our lives 993 00:35:39,125 --> 00:35:41,844 and and, lean into those relationships. So And 994 00:35:41,844 --> 00:35:44,485 by the way, quick point that sometimes is 995 00:35:44,485 --> 00:35:45,385 is is misinterpreted. 996 00:35:46,325 --> 00:35:48,405 That need for relationships has nothing to do 997 00:35:48,405 --> 00:35:50,529 with personality traits. It has nothing to do 998 00:35:50,529 --> 00:35:52,609 with introverted or extroverted. Oh, that's a great 999 00:35:52,609 --> 00:35:54,630 point. We all need relationships. 1000 00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:58,389 We all need to feel understood and loved. 1001 00:35:58,449 --> 00:35:58,949 And 1002 00:35:59,250 --> 00:36:01,329 just so happens the savior taught us the 1003 00:36:01,329 --> 00:36:02,630 best way to do that. 1004 00:36:02,929 --> 00:36:04,389 So it's kind of the paradox. 1005 00:36:04,835 --> 00:36:05,894 How do you find yourself? 1006 00:36:06,355 --> 00:36:07,255 You lose yourself. 1007 00:36:07,554 --> 00:36:09,154 Yeah. So you could sit back and say, 1008 00:36:09,154 --> 00:36:10,835 woe is me. No one's being nice to 1009 00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:13,014 me. Or we can say, okay, 1010 00:36:13,554 --> 00:36:15,474 who can I go and help at this 1011 00:36:15,474 --> 00:36:15,974 point? 1012 00:36:17,559 --> 00:36:19,079 Quick story. Yeah. This is not part of 1013 00:36:19,079 --> 00:36:20,279 what I was thinking. But Alright. Let's hear 1014 00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:22,359 it. I had a I had this wonderful 1015 00:36:22,359 --> 00:36:24,279 young lady when I was a bishop at 1016 00:36:24,279 --> 00:36:25,579 BYU in my ward. 1017 00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,440 And she was she was fantastic in all 1018 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,239 ways. She was graduated from BYU already, working 1019 00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:31,739 already, 1020 00:36:32,304 --> 00:36:33,925 a return missionary, just bright, 1021 00:36:34,224 --> 00:36:35,425 but I had a hard time getting her 1022 00:36:35,425 --> 00:36:36,085 to activities. 1023 00:36:36,385 --> 00:36:38,065 She just never came. She come to church 1024 00:36:38,065 --> 00:36:39,344 and that was it. So one day, I 1025 00:36:39,344 --> 00:36:41,425 was poking her and just saying, hey, I 1026 00:36:41,425 --> 00:36:41,925 wanted 1027 00:36:42,304 --> 00:36:44,385 oh, Bishop, you know, it's just not my 1028 00:36:44,385 --> 00:36:46,619 thing. I'm kinda shy. And I said I 1029 00:36:46,619 --> 00:36:49,119 said, question for you. I just had this 1030 00:36:49,179 --> 00:36:51,099 brainstorm. I now know it's inspiration, but back 1031 00:36:51,099 --> 00:36:52,239 then, not that brainstorm. 1032 00:36:52,859 --> 00:36:54,779 I said, on your mission, you're a true 1033 00:36:54,779 --> 00:36:57,259 missionary. I said, yeah. So what you do 1034 00:36:57,259 --> 00:36:59,099 when a when a when you brought an 1035 00:36:59,099 --> 00:37:01,575 investigator to church, did you just let them 1036 00:37:01,575 --> 00:37:02,835 be and see what happened? 1037 00:37:03,215 --> 00:37:05,375 And she asked, of course not. You know, 1038 00:37:05,375 --> 00:37:07,055 we slobbered up one side and down the 1039 00:37:07,055 --> 00:37:08,974 other. We attached them to this person and 1040 00:37:08,974 --> 00:37:10,835 that person. And I said, 1041 00:37:11,295 --> 00:37:12,595 can I give you an assignment? 1042 00:37:13,179 --> 00:37:14,780 And she got that, you know, oh dear, 1043 00:37:14,780 --> 00:37:15,820 what are you gonna do? Right? And I 1044 00:37:15,820 --> 00:37:17,659 said I said, I want you to come 1045 00:37:17,659 --> 00:37:19,179 to ward prayer. You know, we have all 1046 00:37:19,179 --> 00:37:19,920 these dorky, 1047 00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:21,760 callings at BYU. 1048 00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:23,340 I said, I want you to come to 1049 00:37:23,340 --> 00:37:25,500 ward prayer. Oh, Bishop. And I can see 1050 00:37:25,500 --> 00:37:26,699 her driving. I said, no. No. No. No. 1051 00:37:26,699 --> 00:37:27,980 No. She said, I don't want you to 1052 00:37:27,980 --> 00:37:28,480 socialize. 1053 00:37:28,894 --> 00:37:30,094 Said, I want you to walk in the 1054 00:37:30,094 --> 00:37:31,775 door and I want you to survey that 1055 00:37:31,775 --> 00:37:32,275 room 1056 00:37:32,655 --> 00:37:34,815 and find one person who you think feels 1057 00:37:34,815 --> 00:37:36,574 more awkward than you do. And then I 1058 00:37:36,574 --> 00:37:38,094 want you to go talk to that person. 1059 00:37:38,094 --> 00:37:39,074 Can you do that? 1060 00:37:39,375 --> 00:37:40,755 She sat there for a second. 1061 00:37:41,454 --> 00:37:42,675 Yeah. I I could do that. 1062 00:37:43,010 --> 00:37:44,929 She had gotten herself stuck into the concept 1063 00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:46,550 of I have to socialize. 1064 00:37:47,170 --> 00:37:48,849 I have to be the life of the 1065 00:37:48,849 --> 00:37:50,789 party. Work the room. Right. Work the room. 1066 00:37:50,929 --> 00:37:53,569 And that that is so not me. You 1067 00:37:53,569 --> 00:37:54,929 put me in a group of people and 1068 00:37:54,929 --> 00:37:56,289 I'm a people watcher. I'll get in a 1069 00:37:56,289 --> 00:37:57,730 corner and just start watching. I could do 1070 00:37:57,730 --> 00:37:59,775 it all day long. But she did. She 1071 00:37:59,775 --> 00:38:01,454 came to the next one and she looked 1072 00:38:01,454 --> 00:38:02,974 around. I could see in her eyes. She's 1073 00:38:02,974 --> 00:38:03,474 like, 1074 00:38:03,934 --> 00:38:04,434 oh. 1075 00:38:04,894 --> 00:38:06,594 And she found this young man 1076 00:38:07,135 --> 00:38:09,315 who was a bit by himself. And 1077 00:38:09,695 --> 00:38:11,054 I could I could just see her kinda, 1078 00:38:11,054 --> 00:38:13,160 okay, here we go. And so she put 1079 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,260 on her missionary shoes, walked over there, 1080 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:17,880 and started chatting just just a little bit 1081 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,880 side to side. And he'd smile a little 1082 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,119 and she'd smile a little bit. And and 1083 00:38:22,119 --> 00:38:24,280 it was fun and, you know, no sparks 1084 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,394 or anything, but we went home. Next week, 1085 00:38:27,394 --> 00:38:29,155 she came back to work prayer and you 1086 00:38:29,155 --> 00:38:31,335 wanna guess who she sat next to. Yeah. 1087 00:38:31,554 --> 00:38:33,735 Next week, she came back and and, yes, 1088 00:38:34,275 --> 00:38:36,054 they ended up getting sealed, 1089 00:38:36,594 --> 00:38:38,675 which is cool. I love that. But the 1090 00:38:38,675 --> 00:38:39,735 reality is 1091 00:38:40,219 --> 00:38:42,319 I wasn't trying to get her sealed. 1092 00:38:42,699 --> 00:38:44,539 Well, that's a lie. If you're a BYU 1093 00:38:44,539 --> 00:38:46,299 Bishop, you're always trying to help your your 1094 00:38:46,299 --> 00:38:48,779 folks find love. But my goal was to 1095 00:38:48,779 --> 00:38:51,819 help her to connect, to live relationally. Yeah. 1096 00:38:51,819 --> 00:38:53,839 You don't have to socialize, serve. 1097 00:38:54,219 --> 00:38:55,760 Serving is much less threatening. 1098 00:38:56,355 --> 00:38:58,195 Right? And so if we can help our 1099 00:38:58,195 --> 00:39:00,675 our brothers and sisters who aren't married, stop 1100 00:39:00,675 --> 00:39:03,235 sitting back and going, woe is me. There's 1101 00:39:03,235 --> 00:39:04,514 reason for the woe is me. I'm not 1102 00:39:04,514 --> 00:39:06,594 I'm not Yeah. There's a bit. Yeah. But 1103 00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,275 it doesn't help to sit in woe is 1104 00:39:08,275 --> 00:39:08,775 me. 1105 00:39:09,155 --> 00:39:11,414 Gird up our loins, fresh kritch take. 1106 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:12,820 Go love someone. 1107 00:39:13,199 --> 00:39:15,780 Yeah. As we love someone, our own light 1108 00:39:16,159 --> 00:39:18,179 builds, our own life builds, 1109 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,719 and the spirit of God builds in our 1110 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:22,659 life. Yeah. So That's awesome. 1111 00:39:23,039 --> 00:39:23,940 Alright. So 1112 00:39:24,525 --> 00:39:26,204 let's jump to this and we can jump 1113 00:39:26,204 --> 00:39:27,644 around to some of these on our airline. 1114 00:39:27,644 --> 00:39:30,224 But I think of those single sisters, 1115 00:39:30,684 --> 00:39:33,184 out there who's maybe they know someday 1116 00:39:33,484 --> 00:39:35,484 they'll have the opportunity of marriage, but then 1117 00:39:35,484 --> 00:39:37,130 they also worry, but yeah. But what if 1118 00:39:37,130 --> 00:39:40,410 it's in this eternal polygamous relationship or plural 1119 00:39:40,410 --> 00:39:43,210 marriage relationship? So and, you know, the the 1120 00:39:43,210 --> 00:39:44,809 concerns and questions. I mean, where do we 1121 00:39:44,809 --> 00:39:45,710 start to understand, 1122 00:39:46,329 --> 00:39:49,130 you know, plural marriage in our doctrine? Yeah. 1123 00:39:49,130 --> 00:39:49,630 So 1124 00:39:49,930 --> 00:39:50,910 plural marriage 1125 00:39:51,534 --> 00:39:53,155 was a marital practice 1126 00:39:53,934 --> 00:39:54,755 that was 1127 00:39:55,054 --> 00:39:56,355 not the doctrine, 1128 00:39:56,735 --> 00:39:57,875 but the practice 1129 00:39:58,574 --> 00:40:00,114 based around a specific 1130 00:40:00,414 --> 00:40:02,894 set of circumstances in our history. And when 1131 00:40:02,894 --> 00:40:04,994 I say our history, go back. 1132 00:40:05,454 --> 00:40:06,195 Your earliest 1133 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,559 plural marriages are recorded in the biblical era. 1134 00:40:09,559 --> 00:40:11,880 You've got Abraham. You've got Moses. You got 1135 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:13,800 a whole bunch of, stuff going on there. 1136 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,099 But long story short, 1137 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,280 plural marriage is a system of marriage that 1138 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,340 the Lord institutes 1139 00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:21,019 on rare occasions 1140 00:40:22,194 --> 00:40:24,994 when he sees the need. And it's almost 1141 00:40:24,994 --> 00:40:27,474 always interestingly it's almost always at the beginning 1142 00:40:27,474 --> 00:40:29,155 of a dispensation. If you go back and 1143 00:40:29,155 --> 00:40:30,855 you look at when 1144 00:40:31,234 --> 00:40:33,795 plural marriage has been commanded or allowed, it's 1145 00:40:33,795 --> 00:40:35,494 almost always as the lord is starting 1146 00:40:35,795 --> 00:40:38,170 Yeah. A dispensation. Yeah. Right? But one way 1147 00:40:38,170 --> 00:40:40,650 or the other, that also means that there 1148 00:40:40,650 --> 00:40:42,829 are those who are sealed for 1149 00:40:43,210 --> 00:40:45,630 time and eternity to more than one person. 1150 00:40:46,090 --> 00:40:48,809 And members of the church, as a general 1151 00:40:48,809 --> 00:40:50,590 rule, know that that happens 1152 00:40:51,184 --> 00:40:52,945 with a man and two women, but they 1153 00:40:52,945 --> 00:40:55,045 don't realize, doctrinally speaking, 1154 00:40:55,505 --> 00:40:57,585 that also happens with the woman and more 1155 00:40:57,585 --> 00:40:59,344 than one man. If you go to the 1156 00:40:59,344 --> 00:41:01,105 general handbook, it explains this. But let me 1157 00:41:01,264 --> 00:41:03,045 this this is just from the gospel 1158 00:41:03,824 --> 00:41:05,284 essay on plural marriage, 1159 00:41:05,940 --> 00:41:06,679 says this. 1160 00:41:07,380 --> 00:41:10,599 Okay. Moreover, members are permitted to perform ordinances 1161 00:41:10,980 --> 00:41:13,159 on behalf of deceased men and women 1162 00:41:13,859 --> 00:41:16,440 who married more than once on this earth, 1163 00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:18,500 sealing them to all their spouses to whom 1164 00:41:18,500 --> 00:41:20,304 they were legally married. If you're a man 1165 00:41:20,304 --> 00:41:22,304 and you are married to five women, you 1166 00:41:22,304 --> 00:41:23,824 can be sealed to those five women. If 1167 00:41:23,824 --> 00:41:25,425 you're a woman and sealed to five men, 1168 00:41:25,425 --> 00:41:27,204 you can be sealed to those five men 1169 00:41:27,664 --> 00:41:29,204 that have passed away. Right? 1170 00:41:29,824 --> 00:41:31,285 Then this important statement, 1171 00:41:32,219 --> 00:41:34,380 the precise nature of these relationships in the 1172 00:41:34,380 --> 00:41:36,000 next life is not known, 1173 00:41:36,300 --> 00:41:38,699 and many family relationships will be sorted out 1174 00:41:38,699 --> 00:41:40,940 in the life to come. Latter day Saints 1175 00:41:40,940 --> 00:41:43,500 are encouraged to trust in our wise heavenly 1176 00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:45,199 father who loves his children 1177 00:41:45,515 --> 00:41:47,914 and does all things for their growth. It 1178 00:41:47,914 --> 00:41:49,675 reminds me I'm gonna go back to the 1179 00:41:49,675 --> 00:41:50,574 statement by 1180 00:41:51,035 --> 00:41:53,835 by President Oaks on this concept of trusting 1181 00:41:53,835 --> 00:41:54,335 God. 1182 00:41:55,434 --> 00:41:57,195 Okay. Before I do that, I can back 1183 00:41:57,195 --> 00:41:58,715 up just a little bit more. Oh, sorry. 1184 00:41:58,715 --> 00:42:00,239 I gotta go back a little bit more. 1185 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,679 Do you remember one of the points that 1186 00:42:01,679 --> 00:42:03,380 I brought up, one of my four foundational 1187 00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:06,099 points was God won't abrogate agency? Yeah. 1188 00:42:06,639 --> 00:42:07,840 One of the things that means is you 1189 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:09,599 will never be stuck in a relationship you 1190 00:42:09,599 --> 00:42:11,599 don't want to be in. Yeah. You will 1191 00:42:11,599 --> 00:42:13,184 never be forced into a relationship 1192 00:42:14,144 --> 00:42:15,265 a relationship you don't wanna be. So so 1193 00:42:15,265 --> 00:42:16,785 let's assume for a moment that there's a 1194 00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:18,565 man and a woman, and 1195 00:42:19,025 --> 00:42:20,965 the man it doesn't matter. Man dies. 1196 00:42:21,664 --> 00:42:24,704 Now let's simplify this, for right now. Woman 1197 00:42:24,704 --> 00:42:26,849 dies. Right? Man is, 1198 00:42:27,329 --> 00:42:29,489 lives for another two, three years, finds another, 1199 00:42:29,809 --> 00:42:32,710 person, marries her. He's now sealed to both. 1200 00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:35,090 Right? How's it gonna work in the next 1201 00:42:35,090 --> 00:42:35,590 life? 1202 00:42:36,050 --> 00:42:39,269 Yeah. Good answer. Good answer. We don't know. 1203 00:42:39,570 --> 00:42:41,170 We simply know it will, and it'll be 1204 00:42:41,170 --> 00:42:42,309 glorious. But 1205 00:42:42,744 --> 00:42:44,984 will wife number one be stuck in a 1206 00:42:44,984 --> 00:42:47,405 plural marriage? Definitely not. No. 1207 00:42:47,864 --> 00:42:48,364 No. 1208 00:42:48,905 --> 00:42:50,605 Couple statements for you here. 1209 00:42:50,905 --> 00:42:52,125 Joseph Ealing Smith. 1210 00:42:52,425 --> 00:42:54,664 The dead will have the privilege of making 1211 00:42:54,664 --> 00:42:56,364 known the things they desire 1212 00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:58,420 and are entitled to receive. 1213 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,059 In this way no soul will be neglected 1214 00:43:01,119 --> 00:43:02,639 and the work of the Lord will be 1215 00:43:02,639 --> 00:43:03,139 protected. 1216 00:43:04,079 --> 00:43:04,900 Elder Gong, 1217 00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,960 marriage covenants are binding by mutual choice of 1218 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,099 those making them. 1219 00:43:10,454 --> 00:43:12,775 A reminder of God's and our respect for 1220 00:43:12,775 --> 00:43:14,614 agency and the blessing of his help when 1221 00:43:14,614 --> 00:43:16,695 we unitedly seek it. So we come back 1222 00:43:16,695 --> 00:43:18,215 to this concept of, well, I don't wanna 1223 00:43:18,215 --> 00:43:19,735 be stuck in a relationship. I don't want 1224 00:43:19,735 --> 00:43:21,835 to. Cool. You won't be. 1225 00:43:22,375 --> 00:43:25,679 God will not abrogate agency. Nobody will be 1226 00:43:25,679 --> 00:43:28,239 forced into a plural or a singular marriage 1227 00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,159 they don't wanna be in. Yeah. Because in 1228 00:43:30,159 --> 00:43:32,159 order for that to be efficacious, the ceiling 1229 00:43:32,159 --> 00:43:32,900 to be efficacious, 1230 00:43:33,199 --> 00:43:35,840 you have to desire it and be worthy 1231 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,835 of it. Right? And so nobody's gonna be 1232 00:43:38,835 --> 00:43:41,094 stuck in that situation. Now having said that, 1233 00:43:41,954 --> 00:43:42,695 oh, baby. 1234 00:43:43,235 --> 00:43:44,135 There's a history 1235 00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:48,215 that helps us understand that there are situations 1236 00:43:48,434 --> 00:43:51,414 of plurality of marriage, plurality of spouses 1237 00:43:52,199 --> 00:43:54,139 that were joyous and happy. 1238 00:43:54,679 --> 00:43:55,179 And 1239 00:43:55,639 --> 00:43:58,139 to the best of our understanding, those relationships 1240 00:43:58,359 --> 00:44:00,380 will exist in the next life. 1241 00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:03,639 But there has been not one statement by 1242 00:44:03,639 --> 00:44:05,179 a prophet that says 1243 00:44:06,155 --> 00:44:08,554 you had said to the church as a 1244 00:44:08,554 --> 00:44:09,054 whole, 1245 00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:11,054 you have to be willing to live 1246 00:44:11,434 --> 00:44:11,934 polygamously 1247 00:44:12,554 --> 00:44:14,894 Yeah. To be exalted and have eternal life. 1248 00:44:14,954 --> 00:44:17,994 There were specific people where prophets said, this 1249 00:44:17,994 --> 00:44:19,214 is you right now. 1250 00:44:19,610 --> 00:44:21,449 But there's never been a statement by a 1251 00:44:21,449 --> 00:44:23,390 prophet to the church as a whole 1252 00:44:23,769 --> 00:44:26,510 that said plural marriage is necessary for salvation, 1253 00:44:26,890 --> 00:44:28,650 which is good because there's kind of not 1254 00:44:28,650 --> 00:44:30,409 enough people for that to work out. Right? 1255 00:44:30,409 --> 00:44:32,489 Yeah. There's kind of this fifty fifty mix 1256 00:44:32,489 --> 00:44:35,234 business going on. And so no one, a, 1257 00:44:35,234 --> 00:44:36,835 need we're worried that they're gonna be stuck 1258 00:44:36,835 --> 00:44:39,014 in a relationship they don't want to. B, 1259 00:44:39,554 --> 00:44:40,855 no one need worry 1260 00:44:41,315 --> 00:44:44,194 that plural marriage is a requirement in the 1261 00:44:44,194 --> 00:44:44,694 eternities. 1262 00:44:45,394 --> 00:44:45,894 C, 1263 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:47,219 it's possible 1264 00:44:47,519 --> 00:44:50,800 that plural marriage may actually not may, according 1265 00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:52,800 to the statements of prophets, will exist in 1266 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,780 the next life, but it'll exist in ways 1267 00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,980 where all those involved have exercised their agency 1268 00:44:59,039 --> 00:45:02,224 and desire that relationship. Yeah. That's helpful. We 1269 00:45:02,224 --> 00:45:03,765 just smile and go, 1270 00:45:04,864 --> 00:45:07,425 shouldn't be it's not part of our it 1271 00:45:07,425 --> 00:45:09,505 shouldn't be part of our worry because it's 1272 00:45:09,505 --> 00:45:12,244 never possible to be forced in that situation. 1273 00:45:12,305 --> 00:45:14,630 Yeah. And I I, you know, that as 1274 00:45:14,630 --> 00:45:16,630 far as the aggregate and agency, whatnot, I 1275 00:45:16,630 --> 00:45:18,309 heard heard that a lot in the context. 1276 00:45:18,309 --> 00:45:20,570 When I was a bishop, for individuals who 1277 00:45:20,630 --> 00:45:22,630 would just get out of a divorce, they 1278 00:45:22,630 --> 00:45:24,789 just hate this individual, and they come in 1279 00:45:24,789 --> 00:45:26,949 and say, Bishop, let's cancel that ceiling. Let's 1280 00:45:26,949 --> 00:45:27,530 go over 1281 00:45:27,829 --> 00:45:29,864 paperwork. Right? And sort of slow them down 1282 00:45:29,864 --> 00:45:31,264 and be like, yeah. But there's still a 1283 00:45:31,344 --> 00:45:33,344 there's still an ordinance there that's intact. But 1284 00:45:33,344 --> 00:45:35,204 any anything you'd add to that? Yeah. Absolutely. 1285 00:45:35,264 --> 00:45:36,964 This is this is hugely important. 1286 00:45:37,505 --> 00:45:39,585 I actually use an example. Oh, you know, 1287 00:45:39,585 --> 00:45:40,625 I don't have a slide on. I do 1288 00:45:40,625 --> 00:45:41,585 have a slide on this, but it's just 1289 00:45:41,585 --> 00:45:42,784 not Well, we we can add it in. 1290 00:45:42,784 --> 00:45:43,029 We can add it in. We can add 1291 00:45:43,029 --> 00:45:43,089 it in. We can add it in. We 1292 00:45:43,089 --> 00:45:43,934 can add it in. Yeah. 1293 00:45:44,599 --> 00:45:45,420 The reality 1294 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,360 I use a a silly analogy. I try 1295 00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:49,800 and get as far out from my students 1296 00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:50,460 as possible 1297 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:52,679 so that doesn't affect anyone, and we're not 1298 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,760 Yeah. In the sense. So I say, okay. 1299 00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,780 Imagine there's there's Sam and Susie. 1300 00:45:57,434 --> 00:45:59,614 Sam's a return missionary. He's a return missionary. 1301 00:45:59,675 --> 00:46:01,275 They fall in love. They get married. They 1302 00:46:01,275 --> 00:46:02,175 have two babies, 1303 00:46:02,555 --> 00:46:05,035 and then Sam becomes an axe murderer. And 1304 00:46:05,035 --> 00:46:06,875 I always ask, anyone have family that's axe 1305 00:46:06,875 --> 00:46:09,035 murdering? Okay. No events. Right? We're safe, right, 1306 00:46:09,035 --> 00:46:11,434 at this point? Okay. So we're safe. So 1307 00:46:11,434 --> 00:46:14,269 Sam's an axe murderer, and I'll show them 1308 00:46:14,489 --> 00:46:17,130 what's happening to the sealing covenant at that 1309 00:46:17,130 --> 00:46:19,449 point. You know, we usually use the triangle 1310 00:46:19,449 --> 00:46:21,289 concept. Uh-huh. We got God and Sam and 1311 00:46:21,289 --> 00:46:23,849 Susie. Right? So what happened to Sam and 1312 00:46:23,849 --> 00:46:25,230 God's covenant connection? 1313 00:46:25,724 --> 00:46:28,605 Severed. Right? Severed. Right? What happened to Sam 1314 00:46:28,605 --> 00:46:29,744 and Susie's connection? 1315 00:46:30,445 --> 00:46:30,945 Severed. 1316 00:46:31,644 --> 00:46:34,285 The ordinance is in place. Mhmm. But in 1317 00:46:34,285 --> 00:46:36,285 order for that, the holy spirit of promise 1318 00:46:36,285 --> 00:46:38,460 to bind that, it has to be based 1319 00:46:38,460 --> 00:46:40,460 on righteousness and the desire of both people. 1320 00:46:40,460 --> 00:46:43,280 Guess what? That's gone. It's gone. Uh-huh. 1321 00:46:43,739 --> 00:46:44,239 Susie 1322 00:46:44,940 --> 00:46:46,559 is no longer sealed. 1323 00:46:47,260 --> 00:46:49,360 Technically, she's sealed, but she's no longer 1324 00:46:49,820 --> 00:46:52,239 the ceiling is no longer efficacious to Sam. 1325 00:46:52,619 --> 00:46:53,119 But 1326 00:46:53,635 --> 00:46:55,255 Susie's sealing to God, 1327 00:46:55,635 --> 00:46:57,635 which was part of the marital covenant Mhmm. 1328 00:46:57,715 --> 00:46:58,695 Is still intact. 1329 00:46:59,075 --> 00:47:01,235 And many members don't realize that that when 1330 00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:02,215 you are married, 1331 00:47:02,755 --> 00:47:05,815 you're making a covenant both to each other 1332 00:47:06,275 --> 00:47:07,335 and to God. 1333 00:47:07,750 --> 00:47:09,610 And so as a result of that, 1334 00:47:09,989 --> 00:47:12,150 Sam's an axe murderer and he's got problems. 1335 00:47:12,150 --> 00:47:12,650 Right? 1336 00:47:13,190 --> 00:47:13,690 Susie 1337 00:47:14,150 --> 00:47:16,410 is not only not stuck with Sam, 1338 00:47:17,030 --> 00:47:19,430 Susie is continuing to draw the blessings that 1339 00:47:19,430 --> 00:47:21,690 come from her ceiling to God. 1340 00:47:22,295 --> 00:47:23,595 And that ceiling 1341 00:47:24,295 --> 00:47:26,055 can I mean, it's up to Susie and 1342 00:47:26,055 --> 00:47:27,575 the first presidency how they want to deal 1343 00:47:27,575 --> 00:47:29,655 with that? Right. But then if Susie wants 1344 00:47:29,655 --> 00:47:31,914 to remarry, that ceiling will be 1345 00:47:32,454 --> 00:47:32,954 officially 1346 00:47:33,735 --> 00:47:36,449 cut and then she'll be sealed to whoever 1347 00:47:36,449 --> 00:47:38,289 she wants to be. Yeah. And that, that 1348 00:47:38,289 --> 00:47:40,289 triangle will be restored at some point. Right? 1349 00:47:40,289 --> 00:47:41,730 And that's why I mean, you say, well, 1350 00:47:41,730 --> 00:47:43,989 why don't we just, you know, seal individuals 1351 00:47:44,050 --> 00:47:45,250 to God? Do you know what? You go 1352 00:47:45,250 --> 00:47:47,010 that way. But there's there's power in that 1353 00:47:47,010 --> 00:47:47,510 relational 1354 00:47:47,809 --> 00:47:49,409 There it is. Ordinance. Right? Well, and and 1355 00:47:49,409 --> 00:47:51,255 and you raised a really important point, Kurt, 1356 00:47:51,255 --> 00:47:53,974 which is that when Joseph taught the sealing 1357 00:47:53,974 --> 00:47:55,654 ordinances, this goes back to the concept of 1358 00:47:55,654 --> 00:47:57,755 plural marriage and a bunch of other things. 1359 00:47:57,974 --> 00:47:58,875 There's really 1360 00:47:59,255 --> 00:48:01,494 two aspects to that that that we are 1361 00:48:01,494 --> 00:48:04,180 being sealed to God. And interestingly, in the 1362 00:48:04,180 --> 00:48:05,000 early church, 1363 00:48:05,619 --> 00:48:08,280 baptism was often referred to as a sealing 1364 00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:10,820 to God. Mhmm. That we are baptized, we're 1365 00:48:10,820 --> 00:48:12,340 binding ourselves to God. And and you can 1366 00:48:12,340 --> 00:48:13,699 think of it that way. Right? Because you're 1367 00:48:13,699 --> 00:48:15,619 making a covenant with God when you're baptized. 1368 00:48:15,619 --> 00:48:17,800 And so there's the covenant connection with God. 1369 00:48:18,394 --> 00:48:20,734 Our spouse has no power 1370 00:48:21,355 --> 00:48:23,994 to take that away. None. Zero. That is 1371 00:48:23,994 --> 00:48:25,214 between you and God. 1372 00:48:25,514 --> 00:48:27,755 And that is ultimately gonna be based on 1373 00:48:27,755 --> 00:48:30,974 your integrity, your faith, your desires. Right? 1374 00:48:31,329 --> 00:48:33,730 But God doesn't just want to bind us 1375 00:48:33,730 --> 00:48:34,389 to him. 1376 00:48:34,849 --> 00:48:37,089 God wants to help us become as God 1377 00:48:37,089 --> 00:48:39,730 is. Hence, as Elder Oaks says, to become 1378 00:48:39,730 --> 00:48:41,670 as our heavenly parents. Well, that doesn't happen 1379 00:48:41,889 --> 00:48:43,809 if you don't have a husband and a 1380 00:48:43,809 --> 00:48:44,309 wife 1381 00:48:44,954 --> 00:48:47,595 where both are bound together and bound to 1382 00:48:47,595 --> 00:48:48,095 God. 1383 00:48:48,474 --> 00:48:50,255 And so you have the the covenant 1384 00:48:50,635 --> 00:48:52,954 not only from you and God, but from 1385 00:48:52,954 --> 00:48:55,595 God to you too as a couple. Yeah. 1386 00:48:55,595 --> 00:48:57,980 Very important. In fact, that's something that we're 1387 00:48:57,980 --> 00:48:58,859 going to talk about. Shall we do it 1388 00:48:58,859 --> 00:49:00,219 now? Yeah. Yeah. Let's jump into it. Let's 1389 00:49:00,219 --> 00:49:02,300 do it. And I guess I'll just insert 1390 00:49:02,300 --> 00:49:04,219 here that I love the concept of why 1391 00:49:04,219 --> 00:49:06,539 we need another individual in that is it 1392 00:49:06,539 --> 00:49:09,039 sort of gives us an arena to practice 1393 00:49:09,099 --> 00:49:11,655 the that commitment to another person so that 1394 00:49:11,655 --> 00:49:13,494 we're better at being committed to God. Right? 1395 00:49:13,494 --> 00:49:16,155 That's absolutely true. Absolutely true. And and ultimately, 1396 00:49:16,775 --> 00:49:18,535 one of the things that we we try 1397 00:49:18,535 --> 00:49:20,375 to help our students understand at BYU is 1398 00:49:20,375 --> 00:49:22,695 that the the ceiling between a a a 1399 00:49:22,695 --> 00:49:23,835 husband and wife 1400 00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:24,980 is primary. 1401 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,440 The ceiling between husband, wife, and children is 1402 00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:28,260 very important. 1403 00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:30,480 But let's not pretend that we're gonna live 1404 00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:32,079 in a nineteen fifties family up in the 1405 00:49:32,079 --> 00:49:34,400 in the in the next life. Our children 1406 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,239 aren't going to be living in our living 1407 00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,239 room up up in the celestial kingdom. They're 1408 00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:40,105 hopefully going to be living with their spouses. 1409 00:49:40,105 --> 00:49:42,684 Mhmm. So the primary relationship is always 1410 00:49:43,224 --> 00:49:44,204 husband and wife. 1411 00:49:44,585 --> 00:49:46,744 And mind you, I love my children. I 1412 00:49:46,744 --> 00:49:48,184 want them bound to me. And and the 1413 00:49:48,184 --> 00:49:49,325 good news is this, 1414 00:49:49,785 --> 00:49:51,945 my children have no power to break that 1415 00:49:51,945 --> 00:49:52,925 binding tie. 1416 00:49:53,539 --> 00:49:55,099 They can sink themselves to hell to quote 1417 00:49:55,099 --> 00:49:56,339 a prophet. I don't want them to do 1418 00:49:56,339 --> 00:49:58,739 that. But they can, but they cannot break 1419 00:49:58,739 --> 00:49:59,960 the binding tie between 1420 00:50:00,339 --> 00:50:02,820 my sweetheart, I and them because that's based 1421 00:50:02,820 --> 00:50:03,960 on our faithfulness, 1422 00:50:04,260 --> 00:50:05,800 not their faithfulness. 1423 00:50:06,565 --> 00:50:09,045 K. Seal of ordinance. Yeah. Four four aspects, 1424 00:50:09,045 --> 00:50:11,045 and and and this is not brother Goodman. 1425 00:50:11,045 --> 00:50:12,824 This this is a dear friend. 1426 00:50:13,364 --> 00:50:15,445 Creel Covert. Have you ever heard that name? 1427 00:50:15,445 --> 00:50:17,195 I have not. Creel Covert was a member 1428 00:50:17,195 --> 00:50:18,105 of the seventy. 1429 00:50:18,739 --> 00:50:20,179 He is a dear friend of mine. He 1430 00:50:20,179 --> 00:50:21,539 was my area president when I was a 1431 00:50:21,539 --> 00:50:22,920 mission president. Oh, cool. 1432 00:50:23,299 --> 00:50:25,940 Really awesome guy. Anyway, he wrote an article 1433 00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:28,059 that was published in the Ensign in June 1434 00:50:28,059 --> 00:50:30,099 1998, which meant he wrote it the year 1435 00:50:30,099 --> 00:50:30,599 before 1436 00:50:30,994 --> 00:50:32,114 because that's the way it works. 1437 00:50:32,675 --> 00:50:34,355 Long story short, that's when he was my 1438 00:50:34,355 --> 00:50:35,815 mission president that came out. 1439 00:50:36,114 --> 00:50:38,275 Your area. Area president. I was a mission 1440 00:50:38,275 --> 00:50:40,355 president. Thank you. And he taught that the 1441 00:50:40,355 --> 00:50:42,295 sealing ordinance has four 1442 00:50:42,594 --> 00:50:43,655 specific elements. 1443 00:50:44,199 --> 00:50:45,800 And if we want our our our young 1444 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,519 adults, our singles, our marriage to understand this, 1445 00:50:48,519 --> 00:50:50,519 they have to understand the different parts. You 1446 00:50:50,519 --> 00:50:51,340 got one, 1447 00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,280 individual covenants and blessings. So we talked about 1448 00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,360 that a little bit earlier. When Sam and 1449 00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,599 Susie are married, they're not only making a 1450 00:50:58,599 --> 00:51:00,535 covenant with with each other, they're making a 1451 00:51:00,535 --> 00:51:01,594 covenant with God. 1452 00:51:02,054 --> 00:51:04,875 And Sam's ax murdering does not 1453 00:51:05,335 --> 00:51:08,934 impact Susie's connection. So an individual covenant that 1454 00:51:08,934 --> 00:51:11,335 is based on our faithfulness to God, not 1455 00:51:11,335 --> 00:51:14,429 our spouse's faithfulness to God nor our spouse's 1456 00:51:14,429 --> 00:51:16,589 faithfulness to us. In other words, no one 1457 00:51:16,589 --> 00:51:17,489 condemn us. 1458 00:51:17,869 --> 00:51:19,089 No one condemn us. 1459 00:51:19,389 --> 00:51:22,130 So one, our individual covenants with God. Two, 1460 00:51:22,510 --> 00:51:23,409 joint covenants. 1461 00:51:23,869 --> 00:51:25,489 These are the things that only 1462 00:51:25,789 --> 00:51:28,030 are in place when two people are true 1463 00:51:28,030 --> 00:51:29,954 to their covenant. Let me read what he 1464 00:51:29,954 --> 00:51:30,454 says. 1465 00:51:30,755 --> 00:51:33,155 Elder Colfer, the two of you jointly will 1466 00:51:33,155 --> 00:51:35,555 make promises, commandments, and covenants with your heavenly 1467 00:51:35,555 --> 00:51:37,875 father and will make covenants to receive each 1468 00:51:37,875 --> 00:51:39,175 other as husband and wife. 1469 00:51:39,555 --> 00:51:42,434 You then will jointly receive promises of blessings 1470 00:51:42,434 --> 00:51:45,420 conditioned upon your joint faithfulness. Notice the word 1471 00:51:45,420 --> 00:51:48,380 joint all the time here. The continued faithful 1472 00:51:48,380 --> 00:51:50,619 obedience of both of you is essential if 1473 00:51:50,619 --> 00:51:52,719 the promised blessings are to be received 1474 00:51:53,179 --> 00:51:53,679 jointly. 1475 00:51:54,219 --> 00:51:55,900 This is because the promises are made to 1476 00:51:55,900 --> 00:51:57,980 you as one. That is as a single 1477 00:51:57,980 --> 00:52:00,565 unit consisting of two halves. And so that 1478 00:52:00,704 --> 00:52:03,505 joint covenant blessing when when my ex murderer 1479 00:52:03,505 --> 00:52:05,045 Sam did what he did, 1480 00:52:05,664 --> 00:52:08,704 that blessing is actually taken from both Sam 1481 00:52:08,704 --> 00:52:11,264 and Susie because that is only given jointly. 1482 00:52:11,264 --> 00:52:12,704 Wait a minute. Susie is gonna be okay. 1483 00:52:12,704 --> 00:52:14,859 We're gonna work this out. Right? But that 1484 00:52:14,859 --> 00:52:16,400 blessing is actually 1485 00:52:17,019 --> 00:52:19,340 dependent or contingent on both people being true 1486 00:52:19,340 --> 00:52:21,019 to it. Not only the blessing, though, the 1487 00:52:21,019 --> 00:52:21,519 commitment. 1488 00:52:21,820 --> 00:52:23,900 Hence, when Sam decides to be an axe 1489 00:52:23,900 --> 00:52:24,400 murderer, 1490 00:52:24,699 --> 00:52:25,199 he 1491 00:52:25,579 --> 00:52:27,820 breaks that commitment to his wife, and she 1492 00:52:27,820 --> 00:52:29,119 is no longer stuck 1493 00:52:29,484 --> 00:52:30,304 with him. Right? 1494 00:52:31,244 --> 00:52:31,744 Three, 1495 00:52:32,125 --> 00:52:34,284 joining in celestial marriage. This is the part, 1496 00:52:34,284 --> 00:52:35,964 as he said, this element qualifies you to 1497 00:52:35,964 --> 00:52:37,405 live together as husband and wife under the 1498 00:52:37,405 --> 00:52:39,085 laws of the land. Here that you are 1499 00:52:39,085 --> 00:52:41,164 united forever becoming one flesh before the Lord 1500 00:52:41,164 --> 00:52:42,605 and forming a new family unit that if 1501 00:52:42,605 --> 00:52:43,964 you are faithful and obedient, it will last 1502 00:52:43,964 --> 00:52:46,030 forever. So the when most people think about 1503 00:52:46,030 --> 00:52:48,349 ceilings, they're thinking about the third part Yeah. 1504 00:52:48,510 --> 00:52:50,690 As where you're super glued. Yeah. Right? 1505 00:52:51,469 --> 00:52:53,389 And then four, the fourth part of the 1506 00:52:53,389 --> 00:52:54,210 sealing ordinance, 1507 00:52:54,670 --> 00:52:56,769 blessing for children born in the covenant. 1508 00:52:57,150 --> 00:52:58,829 Or in my case, where both my children 1509 00:52:58,829 --> 00:52:59,489 are adopted, 1510 00:53:00,144 --> 00:53:03,425 sealed after the Mhmm. After the our sealing. 1511 00:53:03,425 --> 00:53:04,644 Right? Sealed to us. 1512 00:53:05,105 --> 00:53:06,785 All children born to the two of you 1513 00:53:06,785 --> 00:53:08,785 are born in the blessings of the sealing 1514 00:53:08,785 --> 00:53:10,785 covenant. Thus, it is common to say that 1515 00:53:10,785 --> 00:53:12,625 your children are born in the covenant. They're 1516 00:53:12,625 --> 00:53:15,045 entitled to the blessings of the Abrahamic covenant 1517 00:53:15,179 --> 00:53:17,260 and then he outlines those. And so so 1518 00:53:17,260 --> 00:53:19,099 when we're talking about the sealing ordinance, we're 1519 00:53:19,099 --> 00:53:21,359 really talking about four specific elements. 1520 00:53:21,980 --> 00:53:24,000 Individual promises we make with God, 1521 00:53:24,380 --> 00:53:26,400 joint promises we make with God, 1522 00:53:26,780 --> 00:53:29,019 the actual binding, the sealing, the super glue, 1523 00:53:29,019 --> 00:53:30,744 whatever you want to call it and the 1524 00:53:30,744 --> 00:53:33,424 blessings that then entail upon our children as 1525 00:53:33,424 --> 00:53:34,605 a result of that. 1526 00:53:34,905 --> 00:53:37,465 So four aspects of that sealing covenant that 1527 00:53:37,465 --> 00:53:39,545 are necessary for us to actually understand and 1528 00:53:39,545 --> 00:53:42,105 that understanding those four elements then helps us 1529 00:53:42,105 --> 00:53:43,644 begin to work through some of 1530 00:53:44,380 --> 00:53:46,800 the contingencies that we see. Divorce, 1531 00:53:47,659 --> 00:53:48,159 death, 1532 00:53:48,619 --> 00:53:49,119 remarriage. 1533 00:53:49,659 --> 00:53:51,420 When you start to say, okay, let's think 1534 00:53:51,420 --> 00:53:53,260 through those the not not just the four 1535 00:53:53,260 --> 00:53:55,500 elements of the sealing ordinance, but remember what 1536 00:53:55,500 --> 00:53:57,260 we talked about that that God loves us. 1537 00:53:57,260 --> 00:53:58,559 He won't aggregate agency. 1538 00:53:59,075 --> 00:54:01,394 When you start to put this all together, 1539 00:54:01,394 --> 00:54:02,695 you realize that 1540 00:54:02,994 --> 00:54:04,595 no one's ever stuck in a relationship they 1541 00:54:04,595 --> 00:54:06,755 don't want to be in. No one is 1542 00:54:06,755 --> 00:54:08,515 ever going to be denied any blessing that 1543 00:54:08,515 --> 00:54:10,515 God would give to all his children. We 1544 00:54:10,515 --> 00:54:11,735 don't know the exact 1545 00:54:12,230 --> 00:54:14,010 configuration of family units 1546 00:54:14,469 --> 00:54:16,389 necessarily with all the complexity that goes with 1547 00:54:16,389 --> 00:54:18,389 that in the next life. But as Elder 1548 00:54:18,389 --> 00:54:19,750 Oaks said, let me oh, let me share 1549 00:54:19,750 --> 00:54:21,989 this. This is good stuff. Gotta love President 1550 00:54:21,989 --> 00:54:23,849 Oaks. This is what he said. 1551 00:54:24,255 --> 00:54:26,174 For all questions about the spirit world. Now 1552 00:54:26,174 --> 00:54:27,454 he's not about the spirit world. I'm going 1553 00:54:27,454 --> 00:54:28,574 to expand it a little bit because it's 1554 00:54:28,574 --> 00:54:30,355 true of the next phase after that. 1555 00:54:30,815 --> 00:54:32,114 I suggest two answers. 1556 00:54:32,734 --> 00:54:33,234 First, 1557 00:54:33,534 --> 00:54:35,614 remember that God loves his children and will 1558 00:54:35,614 --> 00:54:37,295 surely do what is best for each of 1559 00:54:37,295 --> 00:54:37,795 us. 1560 00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:38,739 Second, 1561 00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:42,159 remember this familiar Bible teaching which has been 1562 00:54:42,159 --> 00:54:44,000 most helpful to me on a multitude of 1563 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,059 unanswered questions. 1564 00:54:45,599 --> 00:54:47,619 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart. 1565 00:54:48,079 --> 00:54:49,780 Lean not unto thine own understanding. 1566 00:54:50,159 --> 00:54:52,339 In all thy ways acknowledge him 1567 00:54:52,805 --> 00:54:55,204 and he shall direct thy paths. This concept 1568 00:54:55,204 --> 00:54:56,744 of trusting in the Lord. 1569 00:54:57,285 --> 00:54:59,465 Trust in the Lord is a familiar 1570 00:54:59,845 --> 00:55:01,364 and true teaching of the Church of Jesus 1571 00:55:01,364 --> 00:55:03,684 Christ Latter day Saints. That same principle applies 1572 00:55:03,684 --> 00:55:06,405 to unanswered questions about ceilings in the next 1573 00:55:06,405 --> 00:55:06,905 life 1574 00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:08,739 or desired readjustments 1575 00:55:09,119 --> 00:55:12,159 because of events or transgressions in mortality. What 1576 00:55:12,159 --> 00:55:13,380 happens if my spouse 1577 00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:15,380 walks with their covenants 1578 00:55:15,679 --> 00:55:17,679 and we still love each other? What happens 1579 00:55:17,679 --> 00:55:20,239 with that? Right? There are so much we 1580 00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:22,934 do not know that our only sure reliance 1581 00:55:22,934 --> 00:55:24,454 is to trust in the Lord and his 1582 00:55:24,454 --> 00:55:25,674 love for his children. 1583 00:55:26,054 --> 00:55:28,454 This concept that if we can trust the 1584 00:55:28,454 --> 00:55:28,954 Lord, 1585 00:55:29,574 --> 00:55:31,894 it's not that we have all the detailed 1586 00:55:31,894 --> 00:55:33,574 answers because we don't. Anyone who says that, 1587 00:55:33,574 --> 00:55:35,594 you know that they're blowing smokeage. Right? 1588 00:55:36,039 --> 00:55:39,239 But I love what President Eyring said. Let 1589 00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:40,839 me let me and this kinda ties this 1590 00:55:40,839 --> 00:55:43,319 whole section together. Plural marriage, the sealing ordinance, 1591 00:55:43,319 --> 00:55:45,099 and the and the concept of the singles 1592 00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:47,099 and how they can find peace. 1593 00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,875 President Eyring, for some, that eternal joy may 1594 00:55:50,875 --> 00:55:52,714 seem a faint or even fading hope. The 1595 00:55:52,714 --> 00:55:54,714 eternal joy of marriage and family and all 1596 00:55:54,714 --> 00:55:55,694 that good stuff. Right? 1597 00:55:56,155 --> 00:55:58,954 Parents, children, brothers and sisters may have made 1598 00:55:58,954 --> 00:56:01,434 choices that seem to disqualify them from eternal 1599 00:56:01,434 --> 00:56:01,934 life. 1600 00:56:02,315 --> 00:56:03,534 You may even wonder 1601 00:56:04,079 --> 00:56:06,079 whether you have yet been qualified through the 1602 00:56:06,079 --> 00:56:07,619 Atonement of Jesus Christ. 1603 00:56:08,079 --> 00:56:10,480 A prophet of God once offered me counsel 1604 00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:11,860 that gives me peace. 1605 00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,719 I was worried that a choice of others 1606 00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:16,640 might make it impossible for our families to 1607 00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:18,480 be together for every other same experience I 1608 00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:22,035 did. Probably before me. He, the prophet said, 1609 00:56:22,815 --> 00:56:25,635 you are worrying about the wrong problem. 1610 00:56:26,335 --> 00:56:29,555 You live worthy of the celestial kingdom. Stay 1611 00:56:29,614 --> 00:56:30,595 covenant connected 1612 00:56:31,199 --> 00:56:33,839 and the family arrangements will be more wonderful 1613 00:56:33,839 --> 00:56:36,079 than you can imagine. I love that quote. 1614 00:56:36,079 --> 00:56:37,839 That's such a good quote. Yeah. That's great. 1615 00:56:37,839 --> 00:56:39,280 And for those of us who come from 1616 00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:42,239 divorced families and and all that goes with 1617 00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:45,135 that and a and a angelic mother who 1618 00:56:45,275 --> 00:56:46,954 loved the church but wouldn't join it and 1619 00:56:46,954 --> 00:56:48,414 a father who didn't 1620 00:56:48,795 --> 00:56:50,554 wasn't even close to being willing to do 1621 00:56:50,554 --> 00:56:52,074 it. I can trust 1622 00:56:52,474 --> 00:56:54,154 Heavenly father loves my dad more than I 1623 00:56:54,154 --> 00:56:55,755 do. Loves my mom more than I do. 1624 00:56:55,755 --> 00:56:56,574 Loves us 1625 00:56:56,954 --> 00:56:58,815 and will give us every ounce 1626 00:56:59,289 --> 00:57:02,089 that we're willing to receive. Love it. Alright. 1627 00:57:02,089 --> 00:57:04,009 So here's a a curveball question just to 1628 00:57:04,730 --> 00:57:06,329 that I didn't warn you before. So what's 1629 00:57:06,329 --> 00:57:08,569 the the whole the whole concept of of 1630 00:57:08,569 --> 00:57:10,809 servants in the celestial kingdom? That's sometimes, 1631 00:57:11,224 --> 00:57:13,304 you know, the the singles the adults are 1632 00:57:13,304 --> 00:57:15,545 single, then there'll be servants in the celestial 1633 00:57:15,545 --> 00:57:17,704 kingdom to those at the highest level. So 1634 00:57:17,704 --> 00:57:19,864 I'm gonna take it back to this concept 1635 00:57:19,864 --> 00:57:22,284 of God will deny no person 1636 00:57:22,585 --> 00:57:24,905 every blessing that that person not only is 1637 00:57:24,905 --> 00:57:25,405 willing 1638 00:57:25,784 --> 00:57:26,445 to receive, 1639 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:29,519 but will live faithful of. Mhmm. There's no 1640 00:57:29,519 --> 00:57:31,759 such thing as a servant in the celestial 1641 00:57:31,759 --> 00:57:33,920 kingdom of anyone who doesn't want to be 1642 00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:35,920 a servant in the celestial kingdom. So in 1643 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:36,579 other words, 1644 00:57:37,039 --> 00:57:39,279 the thought of, oh my goodness, what if 1645 00:57:39,279 --> 00:57:40,099 I just 1646 00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:41,539 I'm not good enough 1647 00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:44,434 or whatever it is, you know, insecurities or 1648 00:57:44,434 --> 00:57:45,974 anger or whatever it is. Right? 1649 00:57:46,275 --> 00:57:48,055 The Lord is saying to us, 1650 00:57:48,515 --> 00:57:50,055 listen, trust me. 1651 00:57:50,515 --> 00:57:51,494 Come to me. 1652 00:57:51,875 --> 00:57:53,655 Stay covenant connected with me 1653 00:57:53,969 --> 00:57:55,269 and open your heart. 1654 00:57:55,809 --> 00:57:57,650 Right now, you may not be able to 1655 00:57:57,650 --> 00:57:59,730 receive everything that that I want to give 1656 00:57:59,730 --> 00:58:01,969 you. Okay. That don't make me love you 1657 00:58:01,969 --> 00:58:03,650 less. It just means that we're in for 1658 00:58:03,650 --> 00:58:05,590 the long haul. Heavenly father is not impatient. 1659 00:58:05,889 --> 00:58:07,269 Mhmm. But we often are. 1660 00:58:07,594 --> 00:58:10,414 And so does someone want to be in 1661 00:58:10,714 --> 00:58:13,694 eternally binding relationship in the next life? 1662 00:58:14,154 --> 00:58:16,255 It's theirs. Yeah. There's no 1663 00:58:16,714 --> 00:58:18,815 ifs, ands or buts. It's not 1664 00:58:19,114 --> 00:58:22,315 if you're handsome or if you're socially suave 1665 00:58:22,315 --> 00:58:24,750 or or if you don't experience same sex 1666 00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:26,750 attraction or if you pick your if there 1667 00:58:26,750 --> 00:58:27,570 are no ifs, 1668 00:58:28,110 --> 00:58:30,110 do we want it? Are we willing to 1669 00:58:30,110 --> 00:58:31,250 live faithful 1670 00:58:31,950 --> 00:58:34,050 to the Lord's covenants, commandments 1671 00:58:34,910 --> 00:58:36,769 in the process of getting there? 1672 00:58:37,315 --> 00:58:39,235 If so, there's no Yeah. Servants in the 1673 00:58:39,235 --> 00:58:41,315 slasher kingdom. Yeah. And I live just the 1674 00:58:41,315 --> 00:58:43,394 concept of if you want a relationship, there's 1675 00:58:43,394 --> 00:58:44,914 always one there with god. Yeah. You know, 1676 00:58:44,914 --> 00:58:46,515 you can it's always there and and that 1677 00:58:46,515 --> 00:58:48,195 he hopes you take that one every time. 1678 00:58:48,195 --> 00:58:49,715 And then he'll do with us what we 1679 00:58:49,715 --> 00:58:52,210 couldn't otherwise do with ourself. And and I 1680 00:58:52,210 --> 00:58:53,650 I come back to this concept because it's 1681 00:58:53,650 --> 00:58:54,789 really so important. 1682 00:58:55,090 --> 00:58:55,590 Hopelessness 1683 00:58:56,130 --> 00:58:56,869 is death. 1684 00:58:57,329 --> 00:58:59,570 This concept of I just don't see a 1685 00:58:59,570 --> 00:59:00,070 possibility. 1686 00:59:00,849 --> 00:59:02,690 I learned an interesting lesson as a mission 1687 00:59:02,690 --> 00:59:04,765 president. I back in my day back, you 1688 00:59:04,765 --> 00:59:06,204 know, when you walked uphill both ways in 1689 00:59:06,204 --> 00:59:08,445 the snow. Back in my day, we had 1690 00:59:08,445 --> 00:59:10,844 zone commerce every month. We got new missionaries 1691 00:59:10,844 --> 00:59:13,324 every month. We interviewed every missionary every month. 1692 00:59:13,324 --> 00:59:15,085 Oh, wow. You're busy. I was busy. I 1693 00:59:15,085 --> 00:59:16,525 mean, they're already busy. I was on a 1694 00:59:16,525 --> 00:59:18,699 plane twice a week for three years. And 1695 00:59:18,699 --> 00:59:20,300 you're in Thailand. Right? So In Thailand. Right? 1696 00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:20,800 I 1697 00:59:21,179 --> 00:59:21,679 had 1698 00:59:21,980 --> 00:59:24,239 probably about one person out of every 1699 00:59:24,619 --> 00:59:26,219 group that came to me that tried to 1700 00:59:26,219 --> 00:59:27,980 go home early. You know, I can't do 1701 00:59:27,980 --> 00:59:30,380 this. I'm depressed. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm 1702 00:59:30,380 --> 00:59:31,760 sick or whatever it was. 1703 00:59:32,065 --> 00:59:34,485 Probably about 30 plus that I had 1704 00:59:34,864 --> 00:59:35,925 in the whole mission. 1705 00:59:36,545 --> 00:59:39,605 I learned some powerful lessons working with them. 1706 00:59:39,744 --> 00:59:41,505 One of the very first things I learned 1707 00:59:41,505 --> 00:59:42,005 was 1708 00:59:42,385 --> 00:59:44,244 until I can help them realize 1709 00:59:44,559 --> 00:59:46,819 that I wasn't asking them to live in 1710 00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:49,699 the same psychic pain they were currently feeling 1711 00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:50,819 for their permission, 1712 00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:53,039 I could not help them. As long as 1713 00:59:53,039 --> 00:59:55,199 they thought to themselves, I'm stuck. I'm miserable. 1714 00:59:55,199 --> 00:59:57,454 I I if I stay this Yeah. We 1715 00:59:57,454 --> 00:59:58,894 just have to white knuckle it. Just white 1716 00:59:59,215 --> 01:00:00,894 Yeah. It won't work. They couldn't do what 1717 01:00:00,894 --> 01:00:02,034 they needed to 1718 01:00:02,494 --> 01:00:04,034 to work their way out of the homesickness, 1719 01:00:04,335 --> 01:00:07,235 the sadness, the depression, the anxiety, you know. 1720 01:00:07,454 --> 01:00:09,215 And so my first task as a mission 1721 01:00:09,215 --> 01:00:12,099 present, besides loving them and just let them 1722 01:00:12,179 --> 01:00:14,339 letting them know they're okay was to to 1723 01:00:14,339 --> 01:00:16,420 have help them have hope. Hope and a 1724 01:00:16,420 --> 01:00:17,320 brighter future. 1725 01:00:17,859 --> 01:00:19,780 That same principle applies when we're talking about 1726 01:00:19,780 --> 01:00:22,179 marital relationships, whether you're married and it's not 1727 01:00:22,179 --> 01:00:24,099 working well or you're not married and you 1728 01:00:24,099 --> 01:00:26,019 want it to be or whatever your issue 1729 01:00:26,019 --> 01:00:26,839 is. Right? 1730 01:00:27,284 --> 01:00:28,585 Until we have hope, 1731 01:00:29,045 --> 01:00:30,964 there's no getting to the next step. Once 1732 01:00:30,964 --> 01:00:31,864 we have hope, 1733 01:00:32,164 --> 01:00:33,844 then we can open our heart to the 1734 01:00:33,844 --> 01:00:36,105 influence of the Lord, of the spirit, 1735 01:00:36,484 --> 01:00:38,424 and then God can begin to work magic 1736 01:00:38,565 --> 01:00:41,530 that it's not Harry Potter. It's it's grace. 1737 01:00:41,530 --> 01:00:42,750 It's the good stuff. 1738 01:00:43,050 --> 01:00:44,750 The magic that we ultimately ultimately 1739 01:00:45,130 --> 01:00:47,150 cannot get without his help. 1740 01:00:47,530 --> 01:00:48,349 And so 1741 01:00:48,650 --> 01:00:51,389 helping our our single see that 1742 01:00:51,835 --> 01:00:54,074 it'll be more wonderful than anything you can 1743 01:00:54,074 --> 01:00:54,574 imagine. 1744 01:00:55,835 --> 01:00:58,074 And no, you do not have to live 1745 01:00:58,074 --> 01:00:59,695 white knuckled now in misery. 1746 01:01:00,235 --> 01:01:02,255 In the next life, yay, you get happiness. 1747 01:01:02,795 --> 01:01:05,295 Yeah. That's not gonna motivate anyone. Yeah. 1748 01:01:05,769 --> 01:01:06,269 Live 1749 01:01:06,570 --> 01:01:07,070 relationally 1750 01:01:07,610 --> 01:01:08,110 now. 1751 01:01:08,570 --> 01:01:10,190 Do everything we can 1752 01:01:10,970 --> 01:01:12,670 to draw closer to God 1753 01:01:13,130 --> 01:01:15,769 and to our brothers and sisters around that 1754 01:01:15,930 --> 01:01:16,430 us. 1755 01:01:16,809 --> 01:01:20,090 If that doesn't include an eternal ceiling at 1756 01:01:20,090 --> 01:01:21,545 this point, okay. 1757 01:01:22,324 --> 01:01:24,244 Go do what the majority of the church 1758 01:01:24,244 --> 01:01:24,984 is doing. 1759 01:01:25,364 --> 01:01:27,385 Live life meaningfully and passionately. 1760 01:01:28,324 --> 01:01:30,085 And as you do that, that's where the 1761 01:01:30,085 --> 01:01:32,664 doors will open up. Yeah. That's awesome. 1762 01:01:33,079 --> 01:01:35,480 Anything we've missed or question or thought or 1763 01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:36,380 And 1764 01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:38,280 I'm sure we've missed something. I'll get the 1765 01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:39,800 emails. You might It's all good. Yeah. I 1766 01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,280 know. I know. One one important concept that 1767 01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:43,960 I I hinted at earlier that I would 1768 01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:46,440 I would simply reiterate, and that's this concept 1769 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:46,940 that 1770 01:01:47,445 --> 01:01:48,825 if you are right now 1771 01:01:49,285 --> 01:01:51,684 in a situation where you're not where you 1772 01:01:51,684 --> 01:01:52,985 want to be, familially 1773 01:01:53,285 --> 01:01:55,785 or merrily or whatever it is, 1774 01:01:56,644 --> 01:01:58,965 Satan would convince you and I that we 1775 01:01:58,965 --> 01:01:59,465 are 1776 01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:00,550 irrevocably 1777 01:02:00,929 --> 01:02:02,630 broken, that we're just 1778 01:02:02,929 --> 01:02:04,150 damaged goods. 1779 01:02:04,849 --> 01:02:07,989 God never sees his children as damaged goods. 1780 01:02:08,050 --> 01:02:09,429 He just doesn't do that. 1781 01:02:10,050 --> 01:02:12,130 If we can help each other, if we 1782 01:02:12,130 --> 01:02:13,889 could put our arms around our brothers and 1783 01:02:13,889 --> 01:02:15,135 sisters who are feeling lonely 1784 01:02:16,094 --> 01:02:16,594 and 1785 01:02:16,894 --> 01:02:18,734 sad and let sit with them. Let them 1786 01:02:18,734 --> 01:02:19,795 share the the difficulty 1787 01:02:20,094 --> 01:02:22,894 and and and acknowledge the reality to that. 1788 01:02:22,894 --> 01:02:24,355 Then get up and live. 1789 01:02:25,695 --> 01:02:26,434 Love them. 1790 01:02:27,054 --> 01:02:29,215 If I were talking to bishops and stake 1791 01:02:29,215 --> 01:02:29,715 presence, 1792 01:02:30,719 --> 01:02:32,639 do everything in your power to help those 1793 01:02:32,639 --> 01:02:34,639 that are in your stake that are not 1794 01:02:34,639 --> 01:02:37,599 necessarily married or in a family situation or 1795 01:02:37,599 --> 01:02:39,359 that are married and it's a bitter family 1796 01:02:39,359 --> 01:02:42,179 situation or that were married and are divorced. 1797 01:02:43,199 --> 01:02:44,500 Help them realize 1798 01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:45,859 they're not broken. 1799 01:02:46,505 --> 01:02:48,585 The situation may not be good. Don't whitewash 1800 01:02:48,585 --> 01:02:49,625 the situation. But 1801 01:02:50,105 --> 01:02:51,405 and they might be struggling. 1802 01:02:52,105 --> 01:02:54,684 Welcome to mortality. All of us are. Right? 1803 01:02:55,065 --> 01:02:57,324 They're not broken. They're in process. 1804 01:02:58,105 --> 01:03:00,765 As we realize that we're in process, that 1805 01:03:00,824 --> 01:03:02,719 creates the concept of hope. 1806 01:03:03,099 --> 01:03:05,519 In process means I'm going to live life 1807 01:03:05,900 --> 01:03:08,559 everyday relationally. I'm going to love. 1808 01:03:09,019 --> 01:03:11,199 I'm going to serve. I'm gonna grow. 1809 01:03:11,659 --> 01:03:13,519 That is not a miserable life. 1810 01:03:14,059 --> 01:03:16,300 That doesn't deny the fact that someone still 1811 01:03:16,300 --> 01:03:17,359 may feel lonely. 1812 01:03:17,954 --> 01:03:19,954 That doesn't deny the reality that someone may 1813 01:03:19,954 --> 01:03:20,775 still feel 1814 01:03:21,555 --> 01:03:22,215 the missing 1815 01:03:22,515 --> 01:03:25,414 part that comes with I want an eternal 1816 01:03:25,474 --> 01:03:27,394 intimate relationship and I'm not in one now. 1817 01:03:27,394 --> 01:03:30,114 Again, don't deny that. Don't pretend it's not 1818 01:03:30,114 --> 01:03:31,715 a big deal. Just go be happy. Right? 1819 01:03:31,715 --> 01:03:33,094 That's not the way it works. 1820 01:03:33,630 --> 01:03:35,569 Acknowledge that. But you don't help 1821 01:03:36,029 --> 01:03:38,269 by saying, yeah, you are kind of hopeless, 1822 01:03:38,269 --> 01:03:39,710 aren't you? There's not much you can do 1823 01:03:39,710 --> 01:03:41,089 here. Well, you know, just 1824 01:03:41,389 --> 01:03:42,609 grin and bear it. 1825 01:03:43,710 --> 01:03:46,750 Love that person. Sit with that person. Pray 1826 01:03:46,750 --> 01:03:49,105 with that person. Then get off your knees 1827 01:03:49,105 --> 01:03:51,825 and walk with that person. Go serve. Go 1828 01:03:51,825 --> 01:03:52,325 love. 1829 01:03:53,265 --> 01:03:54,724 Encourage that person 1830 01:03:55,105 --> 01:03:56,244 to lose themselves 1831 01:03:56,864 --> 01:03:58,724 because that's how we find ourselves. 1832 01:03:59,345 --> 01:04:00,965 Don't minimize the pain 1833 01:04:01,425 --> 01:04:03,809 but don't wallow in it. Realize that if 1834 01:04:03,809 --> 01:04:05,489 we're in process and we all are. And 1835 01:04:05,489 --> 01:04:07,970 by the way, find the happiest married person 1836 01:04:07,970 --> 01:04:10,710 you can find, they're in process too. Yeah. 1837 01:04:10,849 --> 01:04:12,289 There ain't no such thing as a perfect 1838 01:04:12,289 --> 01:04:14,289 being. There's only Christ and he's gone and 1839 01:04:14,289 --> 01:04:15,730 you can't marry him. And so it's it's 1840 01:04:15,730 --> 01:04:17,885 done. You're you are now an imperfect world 1841 01:04:17,885 --> 01:04:19,565 then. Right? And so as a result of 1842 01:04:19,565 --> 01:04:20,065 that, 1843 01:04:20,445 --> 01:04:21,664 all of us are in process. 1844 01:04:22,045 --> 01:04:24,864 Yeah. So let's love each other and encourage 1845 01:04:24,925 --> 01:04:25,585 each other. 1846 01:04:25,965 --> 01:04:27,585 Live well now. 1847 01:04:28,204 --> 01:04:30,140 Love it. Oh, go ahead. One more thought. 1848 01:04:30,140 --> 01:04:32,860 Because you'd asked about the proclamation. Oh, yeah. 1849 01:04:32,860 --> 01:04:35,099 Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Because that's sometimes can 1850 01:04:35,099 --> 01:04:37,440 be, there's going to be some friction there. 1851 01:04:37,900 --> 01:04:39,900 Yeah. Tension there that Tension. Like, Oh, maybe 1852 01:04:39,900 --> 01:04:41,680 I'll just ignore that until I'm married. 1853 01:04:42,059 --> 01:04:42,559 Exactly. 1854 01:04:43,215 --> 01:04:45,055 You actually asked me I wish we had 1855 01:04:45,055 --> 01:04:46,175 like an hour. We don't and I know 1856 01:04:46,175 --> 01:04:47,414 we gotta we gotta be quiet here in 1857 01:04:47,414 --> 01:04:48,515 a moment. But Yeah. 1858 01:04:48,815 --> 01:04:50,994 What can single adults learn from the proclamation? 1859 01:04:51,055 --> 01:04:52,675 Is there comfort in the proclamation? 1860 01:04:53,454 --> 01:04:54,835 My statement would be, 1861 01:04:55,295 --> 01:04:56,994 this is a very technical statement, 1862 01:04:57,429 --> 01:04:59,690 oodles and oodles and oodles. 1863 01:05:00,630 --> 01:05:03,030 Mhmm. We choose what we're gonna focus on. 1864 01:05:03,030 --> 01:05:05,769 Do we Satan Satan does not like us. 1865 01:05:06,230 --> 01:05:07,989 Sorry. I don't think that's a revelation to 1866 01:05:07,989 --> 01:05:10,150 anyone. He's always gonna try and get us 1867 01:05:10,150 --> 01:05:12,114 to focus on what we don't have, what 1868 01:05:12,114 --> 01:05:14,195 we think we'll never have, and what is 1869 01:05:14,195 --> 01:05:15,094 out of our control. 1870 01:05:15,555 --> 01:05:16,934 So if we read the proclamation 1871 01:05:17,635 --> 01:05:19,954 thing about what don't I have, what don't 1872 01:05:19,954 --> 01:05:21,635 I see a possible way of having, and 1873 01:05:21,635 --> 01:05:23,394 what do I have no control of getting? 1874 01:05:23,394 --> 01:05:24,934 That's a depressing document. 1875 01:05:25,949 --> 01:05:28,349 Right? What if we read it for what 1876 01:05:28,349 --> 01:05:31,389 it contains that we can focus on? All 1877 01:05:31,389 --> 01:05:33,650 of a sudden, that document is magic. 1878 01:05:33,949 --> 01:05:35,409 Married, single, divorce. 1879 01:05:36,109 --> 01:05:37,809 It speaks of a God who's 1880 01:05:38,144 --> 01:05:40,304 speaking to his prophets. It speaks to the 1881 01:05:40,304 --> 01:05:42,385 fact that he is that we are his 1882 01:05:42,385 --> 01:05:44,704 children. It speaks to the fact that we 1883 01:05:44,704 --> 01:05:45,364 can be 1884 01:05:45,664 --> 01:05:47,605 bound to him through sacred ordinances 1885 01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:49,445 that he is 1886 01:05:49,824 --> 01:05:52,369 desires of living in us. It speaks to 1887 01:05:52,369 --> 01:05:54,690 the worth of our very soul. It speaks 1888 01:05:54,690 --> 01:05:55,430 to the 1889 01:05:55,809 --> 01:05:56,630 the sacredness 1890 01:05:57,650 --> 01:05:58,230 of individuals 1891 01:05:58,849 --> 01:06:00,070 and relationships. 1892 01:06:01,090 --> 01:06:03,110 There are so many beautiful truths. 1893 01:06:03,650 --> 01:06:05,030 Don't let Satan 1894 01:06:05,484 --> 01:06:07,405 pin us in this little box. What can't 1895 01:06:07,405 --> 01:06:09,005 I do? What do I think I'll never 1896 01:06:09,005 --> 01:06:09,505 have? 1897 01:06:09,804 --> 01:06:11,724 And what's out of my control? Whatever you're 1898 01:06:11,724 --> 01:06:14,304 asking about those three things, you're guaranteed misery. 1899 01:06:14,605 --> 01:06:15,885 So if you look at this and say, 1900 01:06:15,885 --> 01:06:17,484 yeah, the family brought me in and says 1901 01:06:17,484 --> 01:06:19,960 I should be married and I right. You 1902 01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:21,980 can't force anyone right now. So stop pretending. 1903 01:06:22,599 --> 01:06:24,380 And if you can't control that, 1904 01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:25,980 stop going there. 1905 01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:28,219 Look at what he's just said 1906 01:06:28,599 --> 01:06:30,780 about the the worth of your soul. 1907 01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:33,160 That you're a beloved son or daughter of 1908 01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:35,534 God. That your destiny is to become like 1909 01:06:35,534 --> 01:06:37,054 God. And I can just go on and 1910 01:06:37,054 --> 01:06:39,214 on and on, and it's it's rich and 1911 01:06:39,214 --> 01:06:41,534 thick. Yeah. It's worth engaging in for sure 1912 01:06:41,534 --> 01:06:44,174 no matter your marital status or Exactly. Yeah. 1913 01:06:44,174 --> 01:06:46,494 Exactly. Well, I I think we hit the 1914 01:06:46,494 --> 01:06:48,255 big points. Right? Yeah. That was a great 1915 01:06:48,255 --> 01:06:50,219 discussion. And then I'm sure, like I said, 1916 01:06:50,219 --> 01:06:51,579 I'll probably get emails to be like, oh, 1917 01:06:51,579 --> 01:06:53,019 Kurt, you missed this point in that point. 1918 01:06:53,019 --> 01:06:54,539 You should have asked him that. But I 1919 01:06:54,539 --> 01:06:55,820 think this is a good you know, we 1920 01:06:55,820 --> 01:06:57,679 can't build Rome in one episode. 1921 01:06:58,219 --> 01:07:00,860 Yeah. So but this is great. And last 1922 01:07:00,860 --> 01:07:02,139 question I have is if you're in a 1923 01:07:02,139 --> 01:07:04,719 room full of of bishops, relief study presidents, 1924 01:07:04,860 --> 01:07:06,675 other leaders, and you sort of are are 1925 01:07:06,675 --> 01:07:08,275 done this to some extent, but what final 1926 01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:08,775 encouragement 1927 01:07:09,235 --> 01:07:10,215 would you give them? 1928 01:07:10,594 --> 01:07:11,815 It's a worthy question. 1929 01:07:12,675 --> 01:07:13,894 President Oaks, 1930 01:07:14,594 --> 01:07:15,575 president Nelson, 1931 01:07:16,675 --> 01:07:19,715 and many others have asked us to focus 1932 01:07:19,715 --> 01:07:20,934 on two things 1933 01:07:21,349 --> 01:07:22,890 that we often think are in 1934 01:07:23,269 --> 01:07:24,489 tension with each other. 1935 01:07:24,789 --> 01:07:26,150 It goes by a bunch of different names, 1936 01:07:26,150 --> 01:07:27,750 but the the one that president Nelson is 1937 01:07:27,750 --> 01:07:29,829 and president Oaks have used most frequently is 1938 01:07:29,829 --> 01:07:31,369 love and law. Mhmm. 1939 01:07:31,750 --> 01:07:33,610 If I were speaking to 1940 01:07:34,125 --> 01:07:34,864 recent leaders, 1941 01:07:35,244 --> 01:07:37,505 Relief Society leaders, young men, young women leaders, 1942 01:07:38,125 --> 01:07:39,804 I would say the very first thing you 1943 01:07:39,804 --> 01:07:41,485 have to do if you have any hope 1944 01:07:41,485 --> 01:07:42,625 of being of help, 1945 01:07:42,925 --> 01:07:44,844 you have to sincerely love those that you 1946 01:07:44,844 --> 01:07:47,429 serve. This is not rocket science. They could 1947 01:07:47,429 --> 01:07:49,109 care less what you think or want or 1948 01:07:49,109 --> 01:07:50,889 know if they don't feel valued 1949 01:07:51,429 --> 01:07:53,589 for where they are. If they don't feel 1950 01:07:53,589 --> 01:07:55,210 loved for who they are. 1951 01:07:55,589 --> 01:07:57,690 If they don't see that you care. 1952 01:07:58,230 --> 01:07:59,589 The old adage, they don't care what you 1953 01:07:59,589 --> 01:08:01,109 know until they know how much you care 1954 01:08:01,109 --> 01:08:03,315 is is just true. And so it starts 1955 01:08:03,315 --> 01:08:03,815 with, 1956 01:08:04,355 --> 01:08:06,275 you want a right to try to bless 1957 01:08:06,275 --> 01:08:06,775 someone? 1958 01:08:07,795 --> 01:08:09,815 Love. So it starts there. But 1959 01:08:10,195 --> 01:08:11,574 if that's all we do, 1960 01:08:12,034 --> 01:08:14,614 to be very frank, we're leaving them helpless. 1961 01:08:15,074 --> 01:08:16,854 Oh, they got a good friend in us. 1962 01:08:17,110 --> 01:08:18,869 And I'm not in any way indicating that 1963 01:08:18,869 --> 01:08:20,390 we should try to be their savior, that 1964 01:08:20,390 --> 01:08:22,310 we we should take over for them. But 1965 01:08:22,310 --> 01:08:24,489 once they know that they are loved, 1966 01:08:24,949 --> 01:08:26,710 then we have the opportunity to say, did 1967 01:08:26,710 --> 01:08:28,965 you know that God has something for you 1968 01:08:29,604 --> 01:08:31,864 vastly better than you have for yourself? 1969 01:08:32,404 --> 01:08:34,724 Then we can begin to draw them and 1970 01:08:34,724 --> 01:08:36,984 invite them to come under the savior. 1971 01:08:37,444 --> 01:08:38,984 As they come under the savior, 1972 01:08:39,685 --> 01:08:43,064 the other issues begin to come into perspective. 1973 01:08:43,650 --> 01:08:45,329 And so if I were to try to 1974 01:08:45,329 --> 01:08:47,729 help my own bishop, my own stake president, 1975 01:08:47,729 --> 01:08:49,810 which by the way are great men, it 1976 01:08:49,810 --> 01:08:51,670 would be love those that you 1977 01:08:51,970 --> 01:08:55,030 have the sacred opportunity to serve and then 1978 01:08:55,250 --> 01:08:56,550 bring them to Christ. 1979 01:08:57,345 --> 01:08:59,025 You might think law bring them to Christ. 1980 01:08:59,025 --> 01:09:01,105 Yeah, because because the commandments are how we 1981 01:09:01,105 --> 01:09:03,025 are brought to the savior. Don't use the 1982 01:09:03,025 --> 01:09:04,945 commandments as a weapon. Don't whack people with 1983 01:09:04,945 --> 01:09:05,445 them. 1984 01:09:05,905 --> 01:09:07,905 Invite them to come to the savior because 1985 01:09:07,905 --> 01:09:09,905 then the savior can do with and for 1986 01:09:09,905 --> 01:09:10,405 them 1987 01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:13,239 that which no bishop, no stake present, no 1988 01:09:13,239 --> 01:09:14,539 friend can ever do. 1989 01:09:27,045 --> 01:09:29,845 And that concludes this throwback episode of the 1990 01:09:29,845 --> 01:09:31,225 Leading Saints podcast. 1991 01:09:32,164 --> 01:09:34,645 The end. That's it for this Leading Saints 1992 01:09:34,645 --> 01:09:36,725 episode. I encourage you to check out some 1993 01:09:36,725 --> 01:09:38,840 of the most popular episodes of the podcast 1994 01:09:38,899 --> 01:09:40,420 that we list at the bottom of the 1995 01:09:40,420 --> 01:09:42,579 show notes. If you haven't listened to all 1996 01:09:42,579 --> 01:09:45,220 of those, do so now. And remember, to 1997 01:09:45,220 --> 01:09:47,300 get on the email newsletter list, simply go 1998 01:09:47,300 --> 01:09:49,560 to leadingsaints.org/fourteen. 1999 01:10:15,100 --> 01:10:17,600 It came as a result of the position 2000 01:10:17,659 --> 01:10:20,595 of leadership which was imposed upon us 2001 01:10:21,155 --> 01:10:23,795 by the God of heaven, who brought forth 2002 01:10:23,795 --> 01:10:27,335 a restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 2003 01:10:27,954 --> 01:10:28,854 When the declaration 2004 01:10:29,235 --> 01:10:31,574 was made concerning the only 2005 01:10:32,275 --> 01:10:34,675 true and living Church upon the face of 2006 01:10:34,675 --> 01:10:35,414 the earth, 2007 01:10:35,829 --> 01:10:38,570 We were immediately put in a position of 2008 01:10:38,630 --> 01:10:39,130 loneliness, 2009 01:10:39,510 --> 01:10:41,130 the loneliness of leadership 2010 01:10:41,989 --> 01:10:45,130 from which we cannot shrink nor run away, 2011 01:10:46,070 --> 01:10:48,550 and to which we must face up with 2012 01:10:48,550 --> 01:10:49,930 boldness and courage 2013 01:10:50,391 --> 01:10:50,891 and 2014 01:10:51,420 --> 01:10:51,920 ability.