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How do you help someone tell their spouse

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that they have secretly been viewing pornography?

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Wow, these are tough situations.

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Thankfully, one of my favorite and most effective

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therapists, Jeff Struer, put together a presentation about

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disclosing betrayal.

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Jeff explains how disclosing betrayal can make recovery

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and repentance

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so much more difficult if it isn't handled

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correctly.

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This isn't a rip the band aid off

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quickly type of situation.

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With a better understanding of betrayal, church leaders

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can be a strong resource in helping couples

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navigate the awful effects of pornography usage.

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You can watch Jeff's entire presentation at no

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cost in the Liberating Saints virtual library. Simply

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go to leadingsaints.org/fourteen,

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and you can sign up for fourteen days

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of free access to Jeff's presentation

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and the entire library. It's one of my

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favorite interviews.

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So my name is Kurt Frankem and I

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am the founder and executive director of Leading

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Saints and obviously the host of the Leading

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Saints podcast. Now I started Leading Saints back

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in 02/2010. It was just a hobby blog,

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and it grew from there. By the time,

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02/2014

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came around, we started the podcast, and that's

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really when it got some,

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traction and took off, 02/2016.

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We became a five zero one c three

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nonprofit organization, and we've been growing ever since.

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And now I get the opportunity

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of interviewing and talking with remarkable people all

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over the world. Now this is a segment

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we do on the Leading Saints podcast called

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How I Lead, and we reach out to

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everyday leaders. They're not experts, gurus, authors, PhDs.

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They're just everyday leaders who've been asked to

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serve in a specific leadership calling, and we

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simply ask them, how is it that you

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lead? And they go through some remarkable principles

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that should be in a book, that should

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be behind a PhD.

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They're usually that good, and, we just talk

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about, sharing what the other guy is doing.

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And I remember being a leader just simply

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wanting to know, k. I know what I'm

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trying to do, but what's the other guy

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doing? What's working for him? And so that's

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why every Wednesday or so, we publish these

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how I lead segments

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to share.

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In this how I lead interview, we're headed

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to Michigan to talk with Adam Broderick,

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and

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you're gonna love this. Okay? Send this to

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every elders quorum president you know, so many

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nuggets here. We begin our conversation with just

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Adam unpacks this really interesting framing

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of

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of the type of man who comes to

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Elder's Quorum and the way they think and

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the way they approach the lesson and the

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way they, you know, consume the lesson and

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digest the lesson.

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And to me, I found it really helpful

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to think, wow. Yeah. You know? And how

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can we be mindful of these different types

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of men that come to elders quorum to

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give them a more positive experience? And then

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we Adam has such a wonderful approach with

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all things,

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you know, connection, building connection within the quorum,

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unity within the quorum, activities outside the quorum,

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and really stimulating this friendship

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to the point that, you know, many who

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are in this group are just really benefiting

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from that experience. So I love these kind

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of of,

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of how I lead interviews that really give

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practical,

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tools and approaches and things that really anybody

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can do and consider

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in their leadership. So,

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yeah, send it to that elder score president,

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you know, or release study president, really any

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leader is gonna benefit from this. So here

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we go.

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Alright. We're headed to Michigan to talk with

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Adam Broderick. How are you, Adam? I'm doing

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fantastic.

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Good. Now tell people you can even show

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your hand. Tell us where you are in

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in Michigan because that's what they do there.

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Right?

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Yeah. This little thing, like, right here.

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Right there. So right Central Michigan, Couple Hours

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north of Detroit,

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kind of out in the middle of Cornfields,

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but it's a nice area.

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Yeah. And what's your closest temple? How long

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does it take? Just, like, hour and forty

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five.

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Cool. If you're if you're speeding an hour

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and a half.

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I've never done that, though. Never. Oh, I'm

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sure. I'm sure.

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And any any plans or is there any

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obvious location if president Nelson announced another temple?

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Or

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Well, there's no there's the temple going in

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Grand Rapids. That is also two hours away.

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People have talked about here in Midland, we've

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got the perfect spot for it. So if

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anyone's listening who can make these decisions, like,

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right next to our stake center, there's definitely

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a place that you could put a temple.

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So Alright. Just saying.

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We'll we'll we'll I'll be listening a little

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closer in the next general conference. So and

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we'll we'll cheer for you if, if it

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happens. So very cool. And and and what

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do you do there in in Michigan?

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So I am a I work in the

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building products or building manufacturing industry. I make

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things to weatherproof,

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air insulate,

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waterproof

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houses. Tyvek is a product name you may

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have heard. It's a white paper that goes

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on inside of houses and Uh-huh. Keeps them

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dry and and, airtight.

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Styrofoam, another product you've probably heard of. The

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blue boards that go on the outside of

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them to keep them warm. So that kind

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of stuff. Oh, great. That that's awesome. One

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of those many products someone's gotta do, but

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we just take for granted. Right? So

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that's awesome.

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Now you're you've currently been serving as Elders

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Quorum president for a few years. Is there,

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like, any any story behind being called as

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Elders Quorum president?

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Sure. So I've been,

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serving for just over three years.

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And by the time this podcast comes out,

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I will probably be in a different calling,

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meet with my stake president later this week.

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And,

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so so this is kinda wrapping up for

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me. So I it's been a good experience

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to think back.

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Started

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in a time when we're sort of coming

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out of COVID. So Mhmm. There'd been sort

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of the way that we did things in

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COVID, and it was it was a good

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time to transition and become,

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I was current president and started to think

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about things to say, okay. We're not COVID

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anymore.

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What

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do we need to do differently? How do

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we need to approach this and kind of

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not go back to the way we were

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before COVID, but sort of move forward in

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a really productive and positive way

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from the sort of lockdown

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barely functioning

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organization that existed before that. Yeah.

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Did you feel like it was

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a tough tough go with just getting people

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reintegrated into

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the the typical

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schedule and coming to church and core meeting

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every other week?

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Sure. The

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just getting back, no, that wasn't hard, but

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there was just not a lot happening. Very

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little energy in the quorum, very little connectivity,

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you know, no real activities happening.

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So just kind of it felt very,

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static.

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Dead probably isn't the right way. It's probably

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too strong, but, yeah, just just not a

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lot of energy. And so Mhmm. As we

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came in

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and, you know, I gathered a great group

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of guys in the Ellis Bourne presidency, and

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we're like, okay. Like, how do we restart

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this? How do we reinvigorate

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and and create connection, create value,

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create an experience where people really want to

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come back and experience

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being part of that community.

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Yeah. That's awesome. And anything, like, as far

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as demographics or how your words laid out

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that would be helpful to just understand the

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context of where you're leading? Sure.

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It's a centralized

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kind of core in the city with most

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of the people in our quorum, and then

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that spreads out

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to upwards of, say, forty five minutes away

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to sort of the farthest reaches

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of of the unit.

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Most people live in sort of the core

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within ten minutes of church.

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Broad range, many people are professionals working at

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Dow Chemical, DuPont Chemical,

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or,

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some of the subsidiaries that are based here.

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But in terms of age,

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we range from just sent a a young

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man on a mission,

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just just leaving on right now up through,

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you know,

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90 years old and everywhere in between.

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Yeah. And, do you how many typically show

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up in a core meeting?

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It's typically

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15 to 20.

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Okay. Is our our average size. And where

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do you meet in the church?

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That's a good question, and it's interesting. We,

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it has not been ideal. We've bounced back

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and forth between

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the sacrament meeting choir seats and the high

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council room,

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kinda based on who's there and whatnot. I

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having a more

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stable place to meet probably would be helpful.

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And I think sometimes the guys are like,

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okay. Where are we meeting today?

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But it it mixes things up.

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The different places have different pluses and minuses.

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Yeah.

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Anything as far as in the beginning of

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your this experience, like, being called and just

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you know, you mentioned COVID and just sort

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of that the awkwardness that was there. But

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anything else as far as that

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the processes you went through, things you tried

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that didn't work or worked, or how did

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you get started in in the call? No.

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And I think, my experience has really been,

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like, an evolution over the three years. I

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I've learned a ton through the process, and

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I really appreciate

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that I've had this opportunity to serve in

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the calling and see

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change happen. So if nothing else, I don't

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think anything I'm gonna say today is, like,

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oh, they're worldly or, you know, truly revolutionary,

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but it has been

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evolutionary

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over time, kinda slowly going through. So, you

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know, just just to kinda start,

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elders quorum when we came in was defined

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as,

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you know, we walk into a room, say

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a prayer,

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do some announcements,

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do a lesson, say a prayer, and leave.

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Right? And Mhmm. And and that was really

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all of elders quorum. There was ministering, but

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00:10:33,069 --> 00:10:36,209
it had kind of fallen apart. Assignments were

271
00:10:36,350 --> 00:10:37,889
lots of dangling ends,

272
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,745
loose, you know, incomplete companionships,

273
00:10:41,285 --> 00:10:41,785
and

274
00:10:42,165 --> 00:10:45,125
really hadn't been updated for some time with

275
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:47,205
move ins and move outs and and whatnot.

276
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:48,884
So kind of the first thing we did

277
00:10:48,884 --> 00:10:50,485
when we moved in is, okay, let's get

278
00:10:50,485 --> 00:10:51,785
a functional,

279
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:56,860
ministering assignment sheet list. So we and that

280
00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:58,940
was actually a really cool experience. What we

281
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:01,120
did is for our first ministering interview,

282
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,639
rather than,

283
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:04,379
you know, go in and just say, hey.

284
00:11:04,379 --> 00:11:06,475
How are your family's doing? We basically

285
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:09,035
said, is ministering working for you?

286
00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:11,335
Do you like your companion? Is that working

287
00:11:11,335 --> 00:11:13,815
for you? How about your families? Do you,

288
00:11:13,815 --> 00:11:16,215
you know, are you connected to your families?

289
00:11:16,215 --> 00:11:18,295
Do you like them? Would you not care

290
00:11:18,295 --> 00:11:20,220
if you switched? Would are there actually some,

291
00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:23,339
interactions that aren't working? Like, yeah. Let's let's

292
00:11:23,339 --> 00:11:25,019
switch it. Let's try something new. And we

293
00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:26,379
did that with everyone. We just kind of

294
00:11:26,379 --> 00:11:27,980
said, where are you at? How is this

295
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:28,480
working?

296
00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:29,360
And,

297
00:11:30,299 --> 00:11:33,100
and from that, some people said, yes. I

298
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,019
really wanna stay with the families I've got.

299
00:11:35,019 --> 00:11:37,794
The The companionship, it's great. Others were like,

300
00:11:37,794 --> 00:11:39,875
yeah. Things aren't going great. A reset would

301
00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:42,674
be helpful. And taking all that together, I

302
00:11:42,674 --> 00:11:44,195
think we got to a really good kinda

303
00:11:44,195 --> 00:11:45,095
starting point

304
00:11:45,554 --> 00:11:47,875
for ministry. So that was that was, like,

305
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:48,600
job one,

306
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,079
to get that started. Now we're gonna, I

307
00:11:51,079 --> 00:11:53,019
think, come around to this in the conversation.

308
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,959
I'm not sure we've made a ton of

309
00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:58,600
progress with the quality of ministry. Now I'll

310
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,699
talk about as a presidency what we've done

311
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,019
to do our best. Right? But,

312
00:12:04,214 --> 00:12:06,054
so that was that was job one. And

313
00:12:06,054 --> 00:12:07,115
then job two

314
00:12:07,575 --> 00:12:08,794
was to start

315
00:12:09,735 --> 00:12:11,975
to build and I wanna say unity, but

316
00:12:11,975 --> 00:12:14,695
that's that's a a an abstract word. I

317
00:12:14,695 --> 00:12:15,514
think connection

318
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:16,899
and just knowing

319
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,440
each other, is really what we wanted to

320
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,300
try and accomplish. How do we get people

321
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:22,580
just know each other,

322
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:23,860
better?

323
00:12:24,399 --> 00:12:24,899
And

324
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,700
and and I think that's super important,

325
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,414
and it required us to take time away

326
00:12:30,414 --> 00:12:32,195
from the lesson to do so,

327
00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:34,654
which was a little scary because, you know,

328
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,334
you go to the handbook, and the handbook

329
00:12:36,334 --> 00:12:36,834
says

330
00:12:37,534 --> 00:12:38,034
prayer,

331
00:12:38,495 --> 00:12:38,995
counsel,

332
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:40,914
meaningful gospel instruction,

333
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,360
and a prayer. Right? That that's the outline

334
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,279
for a a core meeting in the in

335
00:12:45,279 --> 00:12:46,500
the handbook right now.

336
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,200
But what I realized, I think, as a

337
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,899
presidency, we realized is that

338
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:51,940
meaningful

339
00:12:52,399 --> 00:12:53,620
gospel instruction,

340
00:12:54,584 --> 00:12:55,964
was not really happening.

341
00:12:56,664 --> 00:12:58,424
And that I I I kind of emphasized

342
00:12:58,424 --> 00:13:00,605
that meaningful. You know, what makes it meaningful?

343
00:13:00,824 --> 00:13:01,884
It's that we're having

344
00:13:03,225 --> 00:13:03,725
conversations

345
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,384
that matter, like, that that really and and

346
00:13:07,384 --> 00:13:08,985
and maybe a way to think about this

347
00:13:08,985 --> 00:13:09,485
is,

348
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,659
the conversations up to that point were really

349
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,839
focused on sort of an ideal state,

350
00:13:15,459 --> 00:13:17,299
where you could pick a topic. And I'm

351
00:13:17,299 --> 00:13:19,299
gonna use journal writing throughout because that that's,

352
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,940
like, my quintessential lesson that, and there's someone

353
00:13:21,940 --> 00:13:23,444
out there who's like, but I'm way into

354
00:13:23,444 --> 00:13:25,365
journal writing. I'm not meaning to offend you.

355
00:13:25,365 --> 00:13:27,065
Like, journal writing is great. But,

356
00:13:27,924 --> 00:13:29,444
you know, you get in a lesson, you're

357
00:13:29,444 --> 00:13:31,524
like, journal writing is awesome. You should be

358
00:13:31,524 --> 00:13:32,584
doing it every week.

359
00:13:33,764 --> 00:13:35,284
Here are the blessings that you get from

360
00:13:35,284 --> 00:13:38,389
it. Here's this, like, idealized state of journal

361
00:13:38,389 --> 00:13:38,889
writing.

362
00:13:39,669 --> 00:13:42,549
Go. Right? Go go off and and do

363
00:13:42,549 --> 00:13:43,529
something with that.

364
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:44,730
And and

365
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:46,409
as I talked to

366
00:13:46,870 --> 00:13:48,009
people in the quorum

367
00:13:48,324 --> 00:13:49,924
and and thought about myself and my my

368
00:13:49,924 --> 00:13:52,245
own experience with those types of lessons, I

369
00:13:52,245 --> 00:13:53,945
think there's sort of three different

370
00:13:54,565 --> 00:13:56,245
places that you can go with a lesson

371
00:13:56,245 --> 00:13:56,964
like that. Either one,

372
00:13:58,644 --> 00:14:01,204
you're self motivated, you're growth driven, you're like,

373
00:14:01,204 --> 00:14:03,220
I'm all into this. This is great. And

374
00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:05,639
in inside your own head, you're, like, processing

375
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,740
journaling, and you're thinking about, you know, opportunities

376
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:11,480
for you to grow and and, like, digesting

377
00:14:11,539 --> 00:14:13,059
it all inside your own brain. Right? There

378
00:14:13,059 --> 00:14:14,500
are some people who are gonna be like

379
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,334
that, and they can just you just give

380
00:14:16,334 --> 00:14:17,455
them a topic, and then they're on there.

381
00:14:17,455 --> 00:14:19,475
They're just gonna run with it. Yeah.

382
00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:23,054
But I think that's just a few of

383
00:14:23,054 --> 00:14:25,315
us. And and to be honest, it's probably

384
00:14:25,695 --> 00:14:28,029
more like an elders quorum president, a high

385
00:14:28,029 --> 00:14:30,110
councilor. Like, those people that are, you know,

386
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,129
leadership, they're they're they're growth oriented.

387
00:14:32,509 --> 00:14:33,950
So, yeah, they're gonna come out of those

388
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:37,149
lessons, and they're like, I am so psyched

389
00:14:37,149 --> 00:14:39,490
to, like, go write my journal today. K?

390
00:14:40,429 --> 00:14:40,929
But

391
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,445
so that that's kind of person one. Person

392
00:14:43,445 --> 00:14:43,945
two

393
00:14:44,485 --> 00:14:46,965
is sitting there thinking, there's nothing new. I've

394
00:14:46,965 --> 00:14:49,925
had seven lessons on journals, and you're not

395
00:14:49,925 --> 00:14:51,684
telling me anything new here. And it and

396
00:14:51,684 --> 00:14:53,700
it hasn't been working for me so far?

397
00:14:54,259 --> 00:14:55,779
And you haven't told me anything that's gonna

398
00:14:55,779 --> 00:14:57,379
help but make it work in the future.

399
00:14:57,379 --> 00:14:58,340
So this is just

400
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,019
I don't know. Until you can tell me

401
00:15:00,019 --> 00:15:01,000
something new,

402
00:15:01,379 --> 00:15:02,440
I'm really not

403
00:15:02,899 --> 00:15:04,440
gonna engage. I'm just bored,

404
00:15:05,299 --> 00:15:06,840
waiting for something to happen.

405
00:15:08,134 --> 00:15:09,975
And I think if if your goal in

406
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,434
lessons is to

407
00:15:12,294 --> 00:15:13,355
share information,

408
00:15:15,575 --> 00:15:17,495
no one's waiting for that. So use an

409
00:15:17,495 --> 00:15:18,634
example for a journal.

410
00:15:19,014 --> 00:15:20,615
No one in your quorum is sitting there

411
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:21,115
thinking,

412
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,379
man, if only there was, like, a mechanism

413
00:15:24,839 --> 00:15:28,059
that I could mindfully process current events

414
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:28,940
and,

415
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,559
think about my, you know, my thoughts and

416
00:15:31,559 --> 00:15:33,799
ideas and and problems. And, man, if there's

417
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:35,480
even a better way that I could document

418
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:35,980
that

419
00:15:36,504 --> 00:15:37,245
in a way

420
00:15:37,945 --> 00:15:39,945
that would benefit my, like, kids and my

421
00:15:39,945 --> 00:15:42,024
kids' kids, man, if only such a thing

422
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,845
existed. Today, we're gonna talk about journal writing.

423
00:15:45,304 --> 00:15:47,544
Oh, that's it. Right? I mean, no one's

424
00:15:47,544 --> 00:15:50,299
doing that. No one's waiting to learn information

425
00:15:50,759 --> 00:15:52,679
that's gonna tell them how to solve their

426
00:15:52,679 --> 00:15:55,100
problems. They already know the information. So,

427
00:15:56,279 --> 00:15:58,460
if you're just seeing this an ideal space,

428
00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:00,039
a lot of people are just gonna be

429
00:16:00,039 --> 00:16:02,039
bored. Now the third person is actually the

430
00:16:02,039 --> 00:16:04,134
one that kinda scares me the most, and

431
00:16:04,134 --> 00:16:05,674
it's someone who's sitting there

432
00:16:06,294 --> 00:16:07,894
and listening to people talk about how they

433
00:16:07,894 --> 00:16:09,495
write in their journal and how awesome it

434
00:16:09,495 --> 00:16:11,815
is and how excited they are to have

435
00:16:11,815 --> 00:16:13,575
their kids and their kids' kids read it.

436
00:16:13,575 --> 00:16:14,554
And they're thinking,

437
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:16,315
that's not me.

438
00:16:16,669 --> 00:16:18,750
Like, I have never written in a journal

439
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:20,850
before. I don't even know how to start.

440
00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:24,829
Like, I don't belong here. Right? These people

441
00:16:24,829 --> 00:16:27,009
that are talking here, like, that's not me.

442
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,449
I don't belong here.

443
00:16:28,865 --> 00:16:31,264
Like, I'm out of here. Right? And that's

444
00:16:31,264 --> 00:16:32,485
what scares me because,

445
00:16:34,304 --> 00:16:36,325
we need those people. They have life experiences.

446
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,544
They're they're different. They're coming from a different

447
00:16:38,544 --> 00:16:39,044
perspective,

448
00:16:40,794 --> 00:16:41,294
and

449
00:16:42,089 --> 00:16:44,570
we don't want to alienate them by just

450
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,190
simply talking about this ideal

451
00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:49,049
space, which is good. We have we probably

452
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,750
ought to start there. But,

453
00:16:53,370 --> 00:16:55,754
where you know, from this ideal, we have

454
00:16:55,754 --> 00:16:57,375
to somehow connect it over

455
00:16:58,154 --> 00:17:00,634
to the reality. Right? The and let me

456
00:17:00,634 --> 00:17:01,134
just

457
00:17:01,514 --> 00:17:03,514
pull up my phone real quick. There's a

458
00:17:03,514 --> 00:17:05,775
cool phrase from the handbook that I like,

459
00:17:06,869 --> 00:17:08,329
where it's talking about the purpose

460
00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:10,890
of Eldest Quorum, and it

461
00:17:11,190 --> 00:17:13,190
says, members of the Eldest Quorum work together

462
00:17:13,190 --> 00:17:16,170
to help accomplish God's work of salvation

463
00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:17,369
and exaltation.

464
00:17:18,549 --> 00:17:19,690
Really cool phrase,

465
00:17:20,309 --> 00:17:22,250
but that phrase involves

466
00:17:23,404 --> 00:17:25,484
people. And as soon as you insert people

467
00:17:25,484 --> 00:17:27,345
into anything, any idea,

468
00:17:27,644 --> 00:17:28,304
it becomes

469
00:17:28,605 --> 00:17:29,105
messy,

470
00:17:29,724 --> 00:17:30,224
nuanced,

471
00:17:31,565 --> 00:17:32,065
nonlinear.

472
00:17:32,525 --> 00:17:34,304
You can't engineer it.

473
00:17:34,605 --> 00:17:35,424
It's complex.

474
00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:39,169
There's just no simple clean way to talk

475
00:17:39,169 --> 00:17:40,950
about it. So the ideal state,

476
00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:44,230
starts to become less helpful

477
00:17:45,009 --> 00:17:47,009
when we're talking about the boots on the

478
00:17:47,009 --> 00:17:47,509
groundwork

479
00:17:48,315 --> 00:17:49,054
of salvation

480
00:17:49,674 --> 00:17:50,414
and exaltation

481
00:17:51,274 --> 00:17:52,095
of people

482
00:17:52,634 --> 00:17:54,494
in all of their their messiness.

483
00:17:55,034 --> 00:17:55,934
So Gotcha.

484
00:17:56,474 --> 00:17:57,615
So yeah. So it's like

485
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:58,394
somewhere

486
00:17:59,115 --> 00:18:00,875
what we recognize is that in these lessons,

487
00:18:00,875 --> 00:18:02,909
those were were were were planning how we're

488
00:18:02,909 --> 00:18:05,389
interacting in the quorum, we had to move

489
00:18:05,389 --> 00:18:05,889
from

490
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:08,049
ideal, talking about

491
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:11,549
why journal writing is awesome, to some real

492
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,049
conversation

493
00:18:12,669 --> 00:18:13,409
that reflects

494
00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:15,914
where people are at.

495
00:18:16,855 --> 00:18:18,555
And and that requires

496
00:18:19,414 --> 00:18:21,255
vulnerability. Right? It's it's it has you have

497
00:18:21,255 --> 00:18:23,414
to talk about kind of the elephant in

498
00:18:23,414 --> 00:18:24,795
the room and

499
00:18:25,174 --> 00:18:26,934
why aren't we writing in journals? What are

500
00:18:26,934 --> 00:18:29,035
the challenges of it? What's the realities

501
00:18:29,539 --> 00:18:31,140
of it? Yeah. So let me make sure

502
00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:32,579
I'm I'm I'm following because I think this

503
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:33,399
is a really

504
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:34,440
fascinating

505
00:18:34,899 --> 00:18:36,740
approach and and model to kinda see things

506
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,279
as they really are. Is

507
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:40,980
it sounds like you're saying in you know,

508
00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:43,744
using journal writing as the example. But in

509
00:18:43,964 --> 00:18:46,204
a quorum setting, we typically talk about the

510
00:18:46,204 --> 00:18:48,765
ideals of whatever topic of it is, whether

511
00:18:48,765 --> 00:18:51,644
it's journaling or, you know, ministering or service

512
00:18:51,644 --> 00:18:53,964
or some gospel principle. Right? We're we're we

513
00:18:53,964 --> 00:18:55,805
present an ideal there, and there's a group

514
00:18:55,805 --> 00:18:57,484
in there. You talk about group one that's

515
00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,890
like, that excites them, that motivates them, things.

516
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,809
Oh, I could definitely do more, and I

517
00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:03,670
love how they're where they're going with that.

518
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,130
And then the second group is maybe more

519
00:19:06,130 --> 00:19:08,289
of like well, you know, maybe a little

520
00:19:08,289 --> 00:19:09,890
more indifferent, would you say? Or how would

521
00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:11,509
you describe that second group?

522
00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:14,585
They're they're waiting for it to connect to

523
00:19:14,585 --> 00:19:16,984
reality for them. Right? Okay. I mean, they're

524
00:19:16,984 --> 00:19:18,585
they're looking for more of a, you know,

525
00:19:18,585 --> 00:19:20,205
what does this look like in reality?

526
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,505
Yeah. I I've tried it, and it hasn't

527
00:19:22,505 --> 00:19:23,005
worked,

528
00:19:23,465 --> 00:19:24,904
but no one else seems to be talking

529
00:19:24,904 --> 00:19:26,744
about that. Yeah. And so they may be

530
00:19:26,825 --> 00:19:28,765
obviously, group one is probably

531
00:19:29,279 --> 00:19:30,960
where we get those who are commenting a

532
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,279
lot in a typical elders quorum setting. Group

533
00:19:33,279 --> 00:19:35,279
two, maybe they're, like, step back thinking, well,

534
00:19:35,279 --> 00:19:36,799
I don't I don't really get it. And

535
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,240
Or they're just on their phones because they're

536
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,600
like, yeah, there's nothing new here for me.

537
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,215
I'm just Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And this and

538
00:19:41,215 --> 00:19:42,894
then group three is those are being like,

539
00:19:42,894 --> 00:19:45,055
man, enough with the ideals. Like, I just

540
00:19:45,055 --> 00:19:47,134
come here and I feel like these guys

541
00:19:47,134 --> 00:19:48,815
don't have the problems I've got and that

542
00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:49,315
nobody's

543
00:19:49,775 --> 00:19:52,335
really connecting with anything that's important to me.

544
00:19:52,335 --> 00:19:52,835
So

545
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,160
I may not, you know, skip a week

546
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,000
here here and there or kinda just phase

547
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,920
out or, you know, I'm only here because,

548
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,759
you know, my wife has the keys to

549
00:20:00,759 --> 00:20:02,519
the minivan. Right? Like, I I can't go

550
00:20:02,519 --> 00:20:03,019
anywhere.

551
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,080
Yeah. And so but I really love this

552
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,125
approach, and I and I agree completely. Like,

553
00:20:07,204 --> 00:20:10,005
there are these different dynamics happening, and often

554
00:20:10,005 --> 00:20:12,325
we we're trying to just assume or push

555
00:20:12,325 --> 00:20:14,085
people into that group one. Like, no. No.

556
00:20:14,085 --> 00:20:16,404
No. This is these ideals are important. You

557
00:20:16,404 --> 00:20:18,005
should like to journal. And if you don't

558
00:20:18,005 --> 00:20:20,005
like to journal, well, come on. Let get

559
00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:22,164
on board, and and you should start liking

560
00:20:22,164 --> 00:20:24,690
to journal. Right? That's right. And and the

561
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:27,750
comment, which is certainly, you know, well meaning

562
00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:29,570
in that, you know, you you get out

563
00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:31,589
of church what you put into church,

564
00:20:32,450 --> 00:20:33,589
that's like a very

565
00:20:34,289 --> 00:20:36,544
person one or group one mindset of, like,

566
00:20:36,544 --> 00:20:38,764
yeah. If you go in there and you,

567
00:20:38,984 --> 00:20:40,345
like, put in the mental work, thinking is

568
00:20:40,345 --> 00:20:41,785
through and kinda chewing on in your own

569
00:20:41,785 --> 00:20:43,384
brain, you're gonna get something out of it.

570
00:20:43,384 --> 00:20:44,684
That's totally true.

571
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:47,644
But we don't wanna create a church experience

572
00:20:48,265 --> 00:20:50,204
that's only for those people.

573
00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:53,029
Right. And we wanna start to expand this

574
00:20:53,029 --> 00:20:54,789
out. And I and and I think there's

575
00:20:54,789 --> 00:20:56,410
some very clear ways

576
00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:00,230
to to expand the reach to get all

577
00:21:00,230 --> 00:21:02,070
three of those groups in. And let let

578
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:03,430
me give you an example of a lesson

579
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:04,330
we had. This was

580
00:21:04,654 --> 00:21:06,355
maybe a year, year and a half ago.

581
00:21:07,054 --> 00:21:09,774
We wanted to talk about giving blessings, you

582
00:21:09,774 --> 00:21:12,335
know, the quintessential lesson of here's how you

583
00:21:12,335 --> 00:21:14,034
give blessings and and

584
00:21:14,575 --> 00:21:16,115
the wording and stuff like that.

585
00:21:16,494 --> 00:21:18,575
So we started, and we actually started with

586
00:21:18,575 --> 00:21:20,600
sort of an ideal state. I had some

587
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,420
guys share

588
00:21:22,279 --> 00:21:24,680
experiences with blessings that were really powerful for

589
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:25,900
them. Okay?

590
00:21:26,759 --> 00:21:27,500
And then

591
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,700
after talking about that,

592
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,119
I kind of paused this a second and

593
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:35,420
said, you know, guys,

594
00:21:36,355 --> 00:21:36,855
sometimes

595
00:21:37,554 --> 00:21:38,855
I don't wanna give blessings.

596
00:21:39,794 --> 00:21:40,294
Sometimes

597
00:21:41,315 --> 00:21:42,855
when I go to,

598
00:21:43,394 --> 00:21:43,894
like,

599
00:21:45,154 --> 00:21:47,394
bless someone who's sick, I hope that they

600
00:21:47,394 --> 00:21:49,889
ask me to anoint instead of do the

601
00:21:49,889 --> 00:21:50,389
blessing.

602
00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:52,789
And and I get really nervous

603
00:21:53,329 --> 00:21:53,829
about,

604
00:21:54,929 --> 00:21:56,929
like, blessing babies in church because it's in

605
00:21:56,929 --> 00:21:57,990
front of the entire

606
00:21:58,529 --> 00:21:59,029
church.

607
00:22:00,369 --> 00:22:01,509
And and in fact,

608
00:22:02,130 --> 00:22:03,269
one of my kids,

609
00:22:04,055 --> 00:22:05,494
I figured out a way to, you know,

610
00:22:05,494 --> 00:22:07,494
have them blessed at home. I can't remember

611
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,095
the exact circumstances of why that was. But,

612
00:22:09,095 --> 00:22:10,454
like, part of that was just inside of

613
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:11,595
me. I was afraid.

614
00:22:12,055 --> 00:22:13,654
I was really nervous about doing that in

615
00:22:13,654 --> 00:22:14,315
front of

616
00:22:14,615 --> 00:22:15,515
the whole congregation.

617
00:22:15,894 --> 00:22:16,680
I said, like,

618
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:17,820
who else

619
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,279
has experienced that? Who who else has felt

620
00:22:20,279 --> 00:22:22,600
that, like, I really don't wanna give a

621
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,900
blessing? And,

622
00:22:24,279 --> 00:22:25,500
you know, not surprising,

623
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,880
a lot of people felt that way. Like,

624
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,559
that's not an unusual thing. There are a

625
00:22:29,559 --> 00:22:30,674
few people who are just

626
00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:32,515
and then maybe you're one of those. You're

627
00:22:32,515 --> 00:22:34,355
thinking, like, man, you don't wanna give a

628
00:22:34,355 --> 00:22:36,115
blessing? Like, why did they give you the

629
00:22:36,115 --> 00:22:36,615
priesthood?

630
00:22:38,275 --> 00:22:39,975
But I think I think it's a

631
00:22:40,994 --> 00:22:42,775
a relatively universal experience

632
00:22:43,154 --> 00:22:43,975
of Yeah.

633
00:22:44,362 --> 00:22:47,349
Of of feeling nervous about that. And so

634
00:22:47,569 --> 00:22:49,410
we kinda talked about that. Like, why is

635
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:50,549
that, guys? Like,

636
00:22:50,849 --> 00:22:53,429
what about giving blessings is hard,

637
00:22:54,049 --> 00:22:55,650
despite the fact that we just talked about

638
00:22:55,650 --> 00:22:56,150
how

639
00:22:56,529 --> 00:22:58,130
awesome it is, how cool how cool of

640
00:22:58,130 --> 00:22:59,565
experiences you can have.

641
00:22:59,964 --> 00:23:02,304
And that led into an awesome discussion

642
00:23:02,684 --> 00:23:03,184
about

643
00:23:03,565 --> 00:23:04,784
the things as men

644
00:23:05,164 --> 00:23:07,184
that would hold us back

645
00:23:07,884 --> 00:23:09,664
from offering to give a blessing.

646
00:23:09,964 --> 00:23:11,105
And it was transformational

647
00:23:11,484 --> 00:23:12,150
for me,

648
00:23:12,869 --> 00:23:14,950
as we talked about, you know, how Satan

649
00:23:14,950 --> 00:23:17,190
wants us to feel unworthy, how, you know,

650
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:19,450
worrying about the words we say and,

651
00:23:20,150 --> 00:23:21,609
whether it's gonna sound

652
00:23:22,630 --> 00:23:23,769
spiritual or

653
00:23:24,230 --> 00:23:24,730
sound

654
00:23:25,855 --> 00:23:26,355
impactful.

655
00:23:26,734 --> 00:23:28,894
Like, we just we, like, process that out

656
00:23:28,894 --> 00:23:30,494
loud. So it's like it's like the chewing

657
00:23:30,494 --> 00:23:32,255
that the the group one's doing inside their

658
00:23:32,255 --> 00:23:33,934
own head. We did it out loud as

659
00:23:33,934 --> 00:23:35,855
a group. We just kind of chewed on

660
00:23:35,855 --> 00:23:37,855
it for a while. Yeah. And and I

661
00:23:37,855 --> 00:23:38,914
came out of it

662
00:23:39,579 --> 00:23:40,079
personally.

663
00:23:42,059 --> 00:23:45,099
The fear of giving blessings was largely gone.

664
00:23:45,099 --> 00:23:48,619
And since then, I I've had no issues.

665
00:23:48,619 --> 00:23:50,700
And so it was it was transformational for

666
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:52,700
me to be in that group, to talk

667
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:54,079
about the real challenge,

668
00:23:55,575 --> 00:23:58,375
being willing to kinda put yourself out there

669
00:23:58,375 --> 00:23:58,875
spiritually

670
00:23:59,255 --> 00:23:59,755
to

671
00:24:00,535 --> 00:24:01,994
ad hoc, give a blessing,

672
00:24:02,535 --> 00:24:03,275
you know,

673
00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:06,295
by the inspiration of God, but, you know,

674
00:24:06,295 --> 00:24:07,974
are you being inspired by God? Like, there's

675
00:24:07,974 --> 00:24:09,674
all kinds of nuances there.

676
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:12,599
But it gave me a lot of hope

677
00:24:12,980 --> 00:24:13,480
and

678
00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:16,980
encouragement, and we like, I think everyone came

679
00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:18,900
out of that meeting just feeling really strengthened.

680
00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:21,700
So it it started, though, with that kind

681
00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:22,154
of

682
00:24:23,355 --> 00:24:25,295
calling out the elephant in the room. Right?

683
00:24:25,355 --> 00:24:27,134
Sometimes we don't wanna give blessings.

684
00:24:27,434 --> 00:24:29,994
And and that's it's hard to say that

685
00:24:29,994 --> 00:24:30,494
because

686
00:24:30,875 --> 00:24:32,875
that can make you feel like something about

687
00:24:32,875 --> 00:24:35,455
you is broken. A priesthood holder shouldn't

688
00:24:37,569 --> 00:24:40,390
not want to give blessings. Right? That's that's

689
00:24:40,849 --> 00:24:42,690
a a good priesthood holder would never feel

690
00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:43,190
that.

691
00:24:43,890 --> 00:24:46,130
Well but sometimes we do, but we're not

692
00:24:46,130 --> 00:24:46,630
broken.

693
00:24:47,009 --> 00:24:49,169
But we do feel that. So let's process

694
00:24:49,169 --> 00:24:51,535
that together. Let's understand that. Yeah. It's a

695
00:24:51,535 --> 00:24:54,095
very human experience. So when you when you

696
00:24:54,095 --> 00:24:56,174
bring that up, somebody else will lean in.

697
00:24:56,174 --> 00:24:57,775
Oh, good. He said what I was thinking.

698
00:24:57,775 --> 00:25:00,674
Right? And and that stimulates that connection. So

699
00:25:00,894 --> 00:25:02,654
let me, like, back up more broadly and

700
00:25:02,654 --> 00:25:04,575
just make sure I'm following and and and

701
00:25:04,575 --> 00:25:06,755
give maybe the listeners a place to connect.

702
00:25:07,460 --> 00:25:09,859
So when you walk into Elders Quorum, I

703
00:25:09,859 --> 00:25:12,019
mean, you or as you're preparing or, you

704
00:25:12,019 --> 00:25:14,019
know, obviously, it's not just you preparing every

705
00:25:14,019 --> 00:25:15,799
time, but maybe the instructor or others,

706
00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:18,500
hopefully, they're doing so with this idea of

707
00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:20,894
keeping these three groups in mind saying, like,

708
00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:22,335
I can't just go in there and speak

709
00:25:22,335 --> 00:25:24,654
to the ideal and and assume everybody's gonna

710
00:25:24,654 --> 00:25:26,174
jump on board and love it and and

711
00:25:26,174 --> 00:25:28,815
walk out, like, motivated. But you're considering these

712
00:25:28,815 --> 00:25:30,275
three groups. Right? And then

713
00:25:30,894 --> 00:25:33,295
how what does that what's the application of

714
00:25:33,295 --> 00:25:34,809
that look like? Like, how do you actually

715
00:25:34,970 --> 00:25:36,970
I mean, you've given some examples, but, I

716
00:25:36,970 --> 00:25:38,650
mean, you know, this principle you talk about

717
00:25:38,650 --> 00:25:39,150
that

718
00:25:39,529 --> 00:25:42,029
the in core meetings, connection precedes

719
00:25:42,570 --> 00:25:43,710
meaningful instruction.

720
00:25:44,330 --> 00:25:45,850
Like So so let's so let's talk about

721
00:25:45,850 --> 00:25:48,244
the the the connection part because it

722
00:25:48,545 --> 00:25:50,325
it all lines up together. So,

723
00:25:52,224 --> 00:25:54,625
you know, the the real discussions happen when

724
00:25:54,625 --> 00:25:57,045
people are are vulnerable and talk about

725
00:25:57,505 --> 00:25:59,505
the real challenges they're facing. But how do

726
00:25:59,505 --> 00:26:01,649
we make it so they feel safe to

727
00:26:01,649 --> 00:26:03,409
do that? So there's a couple of things

728
00:26:03,409 --> 00:26:04,470
that we've done

729
00:26:05,009 --> 00:26:05,990
as a presidency

730
00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:09,089
to try and create the safety that allows

731
00:26:09,089 --> 00:26:10,869
someone to say, hey.

732
00:26:11,809 --> 00:26:13,329
I feel like I'm a little broken in

733
00:26:13,329 --> 00:26:14,929
this way. And and that's not what they

734
00:26:14,929 --> 00:26:15,990
say. They say,

735
00:26:16,745 --> 00:26:18,585
I have an issue with swearing, or I

736
00:26:18,585 --> 00:26:19,085
have,

737
00:26:20,265 --> 00:26:22,025
you know, I struggle with this, that, or

738
00:26:22,025 --> 00:26:23,785
the other. But what they're in effect, they're

739
00:26:23,785 --> 00:26:25,945
kind of saying is, hey. In this little

740
00:26:25,945 --> 00:26:27,644
way, I'm a little bit broken.

741
00:26:27,945 --> 00:26:29,785
And and that's why it requires so much

742
00:26:29,785 --> 00:26:30,285
vulnerability

743
00:26:30,664 --> 00:26:31,485
to go there.

744
00:26:31,829 --> 00:26:33,609
But the reality is we're all broken

745
00:26:34,069 --> 00:26:35,349
in a little bit of way. Maybe it's

746
00:26:35,349 --> 00:26:37,130
sometimes the same one, maybe it's different.

747
00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:39,029
So what have we what have we done

748
00:26:39,029 --> 00:26:40,329
to try and create safety?

749
00:26:41,029 --> 00:26:42,649
The first thing is,

750
00:26:44,149 --> 00:26:45,210
we did start

751
00:26:46,384 --> 00:26:48,704
to have a conversation at the beginning of

752
00:26:48,704 --> 00:26:49,204
Quorum

753
00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:50,964
just about life.

754
00:26:51,585 --> 00:26:53,904
And that was really, really hard when we

755
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:55,904
started. It's probably because we jumped in. We

756
00:26:55,904 --> 00:26:57,605
knew what we wanted to do, but,

757
00:26:58,509 --> 00:26:59,950
the people weren't prepared for it. We probably

758
00:26:59,950 --> 00:27:01,390
didn't start doing it the right way, but

759
00:27:01,390 --> 00:27:02,910
we we just walked in and said, okay,

760
00:27:02,910 --> 00:27:05,869
guys. What's up? What's happening in life? Like,

761
00:27:05,869 --> 00:27:06,369
what's,

762
00:27:06,829 --> 00:27:07,329
any,

763
00:27:07,789 --> 00:27:09,869
you know, achievements at work? And we kinda

764
00:27:09,869 --> 00:27:11,625
changed up the question we'd ask, like, hey.

765
00:27:11,625 --> 00:27:12,585
Is it what you know, did you have

766
00:27:12,585 --> 00:27:14,105
an accomplishment at work this week or something

767
00:27:14,105 --> 00:27:15,865
with your family that was off them or,

768
00:27:16,424 --> 00:27:18,744
spring break descended? Did someone go somewhere cool

769
00:27:18,744 --> 00:27:19,805
for spring break?

770
00:27:20,904 --> 00:27:22,845
And the first time I asked that question,

771
00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,845
it was dead silence.

772
00:27:25,619 --> 00:27:27,299
No one I mean, because it was so

773
00:27:27,299 --> 00:27:27,799
foreign

774
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:28,680
to

775
00:27:29,460 --> 00:27:31,299
what had been done for so many years

776
00:27:31,299 --> 00:27:32,440
in that quorum setting.

777
00:27:33,380 --> 00:27:34,920
So it was just quiet. It was hard.

778
00:27:35,380 --> 00:27:37,460
Yeah. But we kept doing it. We stuck

779
00:27:37,460 --> 00:27:38,025
with it.

780
00:27:38,505 --> 00:27:39,005
And

781
00:27:39,945 --> 00:27:41,065
I'll admit for a long

782
00:27:41,945 --> 00:27:44,684
it never got, like, super smooth

783
00:27:45,144 --> 00:27:46,585
or just, like, where people are just kind

784
00:27:46,585 --> 00:27:47,945
of scouting all over the place. Some some

785
00:27:47,945 --> 00:27:50,105
weeks would be, some weeks weren't. And I

786
00:27:50,105 --> 00:27:51,005
actually questioned

787
00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:53,484
for a time whether that was really

788
00:27:54,609 --> 00:27:55,109
meaningful.

789
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:57,569
And then after we collected some data that

790
00:27:57,569 --> 00:27:58,849
said, yes. It was. I'll talk about that

791
00:27:58,849 --> 00:28:00,529
in a second. But that was the first

792
00:28:00,529 --> 00:28:02,450
thing. We we spend time with the quorum

793
00:28:02,450 --> 00:28:02,950
talking

794
00:28:03,329 --> 00:28:03,829
about

795
00:28:04,210 --> 00:28:06,069
life and what's going on.

796
00:28:07,335 --> 00:28:09,195
The second thing is we had a conversation

797
00:28:09,335 --> 00:28:12,394
as a quorum that's where we specifically asked,

798
00:28:13,015 --> 00:28:14,555
what are the things about

799
00:28:15,095 --> 00:28:18,154
being guys or this this group general specifically

800
00:28:19,015 --> 00:28:21,035
that would keep us from connecting?

801
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,140
And then we came up with three ground

802
00:28:23,140 --> 00:28:24,500
rules to sort of address those. There are

803
00:28:24,500 --> 00:28:26,440
three ground rules, and we talk about these

804
00:28:26,820 --> 00:28:28,279
not every lesson, but,

805
00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:30,900
you know, every other month. Let's remind, okay,

806
00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:32,600
guys. Our three ground rules are,

807
00:28:32,980 --> 00:28:35,080
number one, we love each other.

808
00:28:35,779 --> 00:28:38,705
And that means that when someone expresses something

809
00:28:38,705 --> 00:28:40,805
and they're reaching out for someone,

810
00:28:41,424 --> 00:28:42,565
we will meet that.

811
00:28:42,865 --> 00:28:44,945
Right? We we're there. Like, we love each

812
00:28:44,945 --> 00:28:46,805
other. We're here for each other.

813
00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:48,085
Number two,

814
00:28:48,465 --> 00:28:49,740
we trust each other.

815
00:28:50,299 --> 00:28:52,559
And that means that when I say something

816
00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:54,000
that's either controversial

817
00:28:54,299 --> 00:28:54,960
or vulnerable,

818
00:28:55,339 --> 00:28:57,660
no one's gonna attack me. No one's gonna

819
00:28:57,660 --> 00:28:59,200
talk about it outside of quorum.

820
00:29:01,179 --> 00:29:04,075
We'll validate you. We'll we'll be there for

821
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:05,595
you. You can trust us to be there

822
00:29:05,595 --> 00:29:06,335
for you,

823
00:29:06,794 --> 00:29:08,335
if you go into that space.

824
00:29:08,714 --> 00:29:10,234
And the last one is we're honest with

825
00:29:10,234 --> 00:29:12,255
each other. Like, we say what we're actually

826
00:29:12,394 --> 00:29:12,894
thinking,

827
00:29:13,755 --> 00:29:16,154
as opposed to putting up a veneer. So

828
00:29:16,154 --> 00:29:18,575
so we talk about those and try and

829
00:29:18,769 --> 00:29:21,029
make those kind of our guiding principles

830
00:29:21,649 --> 00:29:22,710
of our discussion.

831
00:29:23,649 --> 00:29:25,329
Yeah. And I think that that was it

832
00:29:25,329 --> 00:29:26,849
was helpful to talk about it out loud

833
00:29:26,849 --> 00:29:29,169
and everyone be like, hey, guys. We're we

834
00:29:29,329 --> 00:29:31,190
our tendencies are to do things

835
00:29:31,730 --> 00:29:32,470
that will

836
00:29:32,849 --> 00:29:33,349
inhibit

837
00:29:34,024 --> 00:29:37,005
sharing. So let's specifically do these other things

838
00:29:37,065 --> 00:29:39,644
that will counteract those and encourage sharing.

839
00:29:40,184 --> 00:29:42,024
Yeah. Yeah. There's there's so much here, and

840
00:29:42,024 --> 00:29:43,484
there's such a good, valid,

841
00:29:44,664 --> 00:29:47,244
like, practice of having these ground rules. And,

842
00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:49,809
you know, nobody listening should necessarily copy and

843
00:29:49,809 --> 00:29:51,569
paste exactly what you said. Like, great. Those

844
00:29:51,569 --> 00:29:53,970
are ours now. Right? But to really process

845
00:29:53,970 --> 00:29:55,190
what's needed in

846
00:29:55,490 --> 00:29:56,130
in in your,

847
00:29:57,329 --> 00:29:59,170
in your in your quorum, there's a book

848
00:29:59,170 --> 00:30:01,204
out there that I've referenced before. It's on

849
00:30:01,204 --> 00:30:03,204
our, leadingsaints.org/books

850
00:30:03,204 --> 00:30:05,125
page, and it's it's called the art of

851
00:30:05,125 --> 00:30:07,684
gathering by Priya Parker. And she talks about

852
00:30:07,684 --> 00:30:09,625
this concept of creating a container

853
00:30:10,005 --> 00:30:10,505
and

854
00:30:11,045 --> 00:30:13,445
of of of a meeting, whatever meeting it

855
00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:15,845
is. And, obviously, it works in the context

856
00:30:15,845 --> 00:30:18,160
of a core meeting where there's certain boundaries

857
00:30:18,220 --> 00:30:20,000
in that meeting. Right? You know where,

858
00:30:21,019 --> 00:30:22,240
the the experience

859
00:30:22,539 --> 00:30:24,859
begins and ends, and you also know the

860
00:30:24,859 --> 00:30:27,339
rules of what's happening in there. And sometimes

861
00:30:27,339 --> 00:30:29,265
you make too many assumptions as far as

862
00:30:29,424 --> 00:30:31,505
assuming well, everybody knows, like, you know, what

863
00:30:31,585 --> 00:30:33,505
what's going on in elders quorum and how

864
00:30:33,505 --> 00:30:35,345
we should act. But to have these ground

865
00:30:35,345 --> 00:30:37,265
rules and even invite the quorum, say, are

866
00:30:37,265 --> 00:30:39,345
we missing anything here? Is there another ground

867
00:30:39,345 --> 00:30:40,704
rule we need to put in place? And

868
00:30:40,704 --> 00:30:42,085
in my elders quorum experience,

869
00:30:42,625 --> 00:30:44,730
even stating, like, you guys, just so we

870
00:30:44,730 --> 00:30:46,809
know and I I literally go and close

871
00:30:46,809 --> 00:30:48,890
the doors of of the you know, we're

872
00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:50,890
in the Culture Hall. And I'll say, everything

873
00:30:50,890 --> 00:30:53,369
we talk about, we invite you to let

874
00:30:53,369 --> 00:30:55,450
let it remain in this room. Right? Mhmm.

875
00:30:55,450 --> 00:30:57,845
And that naturally creates some safety that guys

876
00:30:57,845 --> 00:30:59,525
will lean in. They'll speak up more, and

877
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:01,605
and they'll get more real that way. And,

878
00:31:01,605 --> 00:31:03,845
again, it's a ground rule. Just having having

879
00:31:03,845 --> 00:31:06,825
ground rules and articulating them can really stimulate

880
00:31:07,045 --> 00:31:07,785
a a positive

881
00:31:08,244 --> 00:31:09,065
quorum experience.

882
00:31:09,525 --> 00:31:10,025
Yeah.

883
00:31:10,470 --> 00:31:12,549
So so those those are two things that

884
00:31:12,549 --> 00:31:14,710
that we've done. The third one, we didn't

885
00:31:14,710 --> 00:31:16,809
start until probably a year afterwards,

886
00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:20,150
and it was a part of a discussion

887
00:31:20,150 --> 00:31:21,289
we're having about

888
00:31:21,669 --> 00:31:24,390
setting a conference talk about prayer and the

889
00:31:24,390 --> 00:31:26,204
power of prayer and stuff like that. Mhmm.

890
00:31:26,444 --> 00:31:28,845
And I kinda got vulnerable to group and

891
00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:30,605
said, hey. I'm I'm sitting here listening to

892
00:31:30,605 --> 00:31:32,605
this. I'm processing it. I do that as

893
00:31:32,605 --> 00:31:33,964
elders. I'm right. I'm one of those, you

894
00:31:33,964 --> 00:31:36,684
know, growth processing people. I'm processing, and I'm

895
00:31:36,684 --> 00:31:37,184
realizing

896
00:31:37,565 --> 00:31:39,804
I'm your elders quorum president, but I am

897
00:31:39,804 --> 00:31:40,304
not

898
00:31:40,910 --> 00:31:43,490
regularly praying for you guys by name.

899
00:31:44,750 --> 00:31:45,950
And and they kind of ripped me for

900
00:31:45,950 --> 00:31:47,150
a little bit, and they should have. Right?

901
00:31:47,150 --> 00:31:48,910
That's that's something that elders quorum president should

902
00:31:48,910 --> 00:31:50,829
be doing. Right? But it was a kind

903
00:31:50,829 --> 00:31:53,009
of admission like, yeah. I'm not.

904
00:31:53,434 --> 00:31:55,755
And and it morphed into a conversation in

905
00:31:55,755 --> 00:31:56,654
the group about

906
00:31:57,194 --> 00:31:58,875
why don't we pray for each other? What

907
00:31:58,875 --> 00:32:00,234
would what would it look like if we

908
00:32:00,234 --> 00:32:03,914
did? Why don't we? What how powerful would

909
00:32:03,914 --> 00:32:06,075
that group be if we prayed for each

910
00:32:06,075 --> 00:32:08,315
other? And so we decided at that core

911
00:32:08,315 --> 00:32:08,815
meeting,

912
00:32:09,650 --> 00:32:10,710
to start asking

913
00:32:11,009 --> 00:32:13,650
kind of collectively decided, let's let's ask each

914
00:32:13,650 --> 00:32:16,130
other, what can we pray for? And, you

915
00:32:16,130 --> 00:32:16,630
know,

916
00:32:17,730 --> 00:32:19,250
guys will be guys. The

917
00:32:19,650 --> 00:32:22,484
I said something like, the first person that,

918
00:32:22,484 --> 00:32:24,805
like, is willing to, like, put themselves out

919
00:32:24,805 --> 00:32:26,244
there and ask for something to pray for,

920
00:32:26,244 --> 00:32:27,765
I go give them a candy bar. And,

921
00:32:27,765 --> 00:32:30,184
like, ten seconds later, I get,

922
00:32:31,445 --> 00:32:33,970
a thing on, on our group chat, and

923
00:32:33,970 --> 00:32:34,630
it's like,

924
00:32:34,930 --> 00:32:36,610
pray that I get a candy bar from

925
00:32:36,610 --> 00:32:37,809
one of the kids one of the guys

926
00:32:37,809 --> 00:32:38,549
in my core.

927
00:32:38,930 --> 00:32:41,330
I'm like That's great. I knew someone was

928
00:32:41,330 --> 00:32:42,529
gonna say that. But, I mean, it it's

929
00:32:42,529 --> 00:32:43,809
fun. We we have a lot of fun.

930
00:32:43,809 --> 00:32:44,289
Yeah.

931
00:32:45,009 --> 00:32:47,170
But then some people started to talk about,

932
00:32:47,170 --> 00:32:48,930
like, hey. I could actually use a prayer

933
00:32:48,930 --> 00:32:49,590
about this.

934
00:32:50,894 --> 00:32:52,595
And what's cool about that,

935
00:32:53,054 --> 00:32:55,294
when you have a guy saying, would you

936
00:32:55,294 --> 00:32:56,274
pray for me?

937
00:32:58,654 --> 00:32:59,154
That

938
00:33:00,894 --> 00:33:03,154
sort of implicitly, again, says,

939
00:33:03,910 --> 00:33:05,670
I'm broken in a little in a small

940
00:33:05,670 --> 00:33:08,329
way, and I could use your guys' strength

941
00:33:08,869 --> 00:33:09,690
and support

942
00:33:10,230 --> 00:33:10,970
to help

943
00:33:11,750 --> 00:33:13,509
help me deal with that and help me

944
00:33:13,509 --> 00:33:14,789
move past that and and get

945
00:33:15,349 --> 00:33:16,170
gain strength.

946
00:33:16,994 --> 00:33:19,714
And it's actually turned into a really, really

947
00:33:19,714 --> 00:33:20,454
sweet experience,

948
00:33:21,634 --> 00:33:23,795
to have that conversation and just to say,

949
00:33:23,795 --> 00:33:26,115
hey. What who which of you guys here

950
00:33:26,115 --> 00:33:27,174
can we pray for

951
00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:28,214
today?

952
00:33:28,755 --> 00:33:31,299
And one experience that really stands out to

953
00:33:31,299 --> 00:33:33,220
me, we'd asked that question in a core

954
00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:34,519
meeting, and

955
00:33:35,059 --> 00:33:37,059
a couple of people had shared something. And

956
00:33:37,059 --> 00:33:38,740
then I could tell someone who was in

957
00:33:38,740 --> 00:33:39,720
the back was, like,

958
00:33:41,220 --> 00:33:42,980
thinking about saying something. So I say, hey.

959
00:33:42,980 --> 00:33:45,164
What what's what's up? And he was like,

960
00:33:45,404 --> 00:33:45,904
hey.

961
00:33:47,644 --> 00:33:49,484
My wife's in the hospital right now. None

962
00:33:49,484 --> 00:33:51,244
of us knew. Like, my wife's in the

963
00:33:51,244 --> 00:33:51,744
hospital.

964
00:33:52,045 --> 00:33:54,365
We don't know what's going on. Like, it's

965
00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:55,105
kinda scary.

966
00:33:55,884 --> 00:33:57,900
Would you pray for her? And, like, in

967
00:33:57,900 --> 00:33:59,980
that moment, I was like, you know, lesson

968
00:33:59,980 --> 00:34:02,380
aside. Right? I mean Yeah. Yeah. Like, set

969
00:34:02,380 --> 00:34:05,019
everything aside. Like, dude, like, let's talk about,

970
00:34:05,019 --> 00:34:06,859
like, how can we support you? Like, what

971
00:34:06,940 --> 00:34:08,860
what's going on? Like, what can we do?

972
00:34:08,860 --> 00:34:10,460
And and what I think about and what

973
00:34:10,460 --> 00:34:10,960
I'm

974
00:34:12,244 --> 00:34:13,844
most scared of the knowledge core principles is

975
00:34:13,844 --> 00:34:15,545
that we would go through an entire lesson.

976
00:34:15,765 --> 00:34:17,765
We're talking about journals and how awesome journals

977
00:34:17,765 --> 00:34:20,005
are, and someone's in the back corner the

978
00:34:20,005 --> 00:34:21,144
whole lesson thinking,

979
00:34:21,605 --> 00:34:23,525
my wife is in the hospital. Like, I

980
00:34:23,525 --> 00:34:25,445
can't even think about the stuff they're talking

981
00:34:25,445 --> 00:34:26,900
about because there's something

982
00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:29,440
really challenging going on in my life, and

983
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:30,960
none of these guys know about it. They're

984
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,219
just gonna doing their thing, talking about

985
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:35,380
journal writing,

986
00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:36,179
and,

987
00:34:36,799 --> 00:34:38,559
like, my wife's in the hospital. It's like

988
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:39,219
so

989
00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:42,054
creating that space for someone to share,

990
00:34:42,514 --> 00:34:44,194
these are some challenging things that are going

991
00:34:44,194 --> 00:34:44,694
on,

992
00:34:45,155 --> 00:34:46,054
creates connection,

993
00:34:47,074 --> 00:34:47,574
creates

994
00:34:48,114 --> 00:34:48,614
unity,

995
00:34:50,355 --> 00:34:51,494
encourages vulnerability,

996
00:34:52,514 --> 00:34:53,014
and

997
00:34:54,210 --> 00:34:56,289
and make sure that we're not leaving someone

998
00:34:56,289 --> 00:34:56,789
else

999
00:34:57,170 --> 00:34:59,010
out in the cold as we're having our,

1000
00:34:59,010 --> 00:35:01,489
you know, cute little discussion about something when

1001
00:35:01,489 --> 00:35:03,429
they're really struggling with something big.

1002
00:35:03,889 --> 00:35:06,289
Yeah. Yeah. That's powerful. I love that story.

1003
00:35:06,289 --> 00:35:07,994
And and, again, it just, like you said,

1004
00:35:07,994 --> 00:35:09,855
if you almost feel the shift,

1005
00:35:10,234 --> 00:35:11,674
you know, in the in the core meeting

1006
00:35:11,674 --> 00:35:13,755
when someone really leans in that way and

1007
00:35:13,755 --> 00:35:15,855
that that brotherhood really stimulates. So,

1008
00:35:16,795 --> 00:35:18,315
talk to me about as far as, like,

1009
00:35:18,315 --> 00:35:19,375
connection outside

1010
00:35:19,869 --> 00:35:22,349
the Sunday quorum meeting every other every every

1011
00:35:22,349 --> 00:35:24,210
other week. How have you done that? Sure.

1012
00:35:26,269 --> 00:35:27,949
For a while, I wasn't sure if if

1013
00:35:27,949 --> 00:35:29,949
guys really wanted to be that because we

1014
00:35:29,949 --> 00:35:31,570
were doing no quorum activities.

1015
00:35:32,684 --> 00:35:34,285
There hadn't been a quorum activity for probably

1016
00:35:34,285 --> 00:35:36,364
five or six years when I got called.

1017
00:35:36,364 --> 00:35:38,285
You know, this is even pre COVID. Really

1018
00:35:38,285 --> 00:35:40,204
didn't do anything. So we sent out a

1019
00:35:40,204 --> 00:35:40,704
survey,

1020
00:35:41,485 --> 00:35:43,085
and we actually sent it out again since

1021
00:35:43,085 --> 00:35:43,724
then. I've got,

1022
00:35:44,204 --> 00:35:45,664
some results from that survey.

1023
00:35:47,289 --> 00:35:48,170
23

1024
00:35:48,170 --> 00:35:50,329
out of 25 people that filled out our

1025
00:35:50,329 --> 00:35:53,530
kind of activity interest survey said we want

1026
00:35:53,530 --> 00:35:55,849
to meet outside of quorum, and that kinda

1027
00:35:55,849 --> 00:35:58,030
surprised me. I I thought it'd be, like,

1028
00:35:58,089 --> 00:36:01,150
five or six. Right? Almost a %

1029
00:36:01,364 --> 00:36:03,605
of of members of my quorum that fill

1030
00:36:03,605 --> 00:36:05,764
up the survey said, yeah. I wanna meet

1031
00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:07,684
with guys outside of quorum. So that that

1032
00:36:07,684 --> 00:36:09,784
kind of makes a shift and say, okay.

1033
00:36:09,844 --> 00:36:11,065
We want to meet.

1034
00:36:12,085 --> 00:36:14,164
How do we wanna do that? So we've

1035
00:36:14,164 --> 00:36:14,664
organized,

1036
00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:18,109
what we do as a quorum

1037
00:36:18,489 --> 00:36:19,630
in kind of two buckets.

1038
00:36:20,250 --> 00:36:21,710
The first bucket is

1039
00:36:22,409 --> 00:36:24,730
activities that are planned and sponsored by the

1040
00:36:24,730 --> 00:36:25,949
elders quorum presidency,

1041
00:36:26,889 --> 00:36:27,389
and

1042
00:36:28,045 --> 00:36:30,545
we wanted to do those in ways that,

1043
00:36:31,405 --> 00:36:33,644
really strengthen the man in some certain key

1044
00:36:33,644 --> 00:36:35,664
ways. So when we came in, we saw

1045
00:36:36,045 --> 00:36:37,264
there are four relationships

1046
00:36:37,724 --> 00:36:40,445
that we wanted to support our elders in.

1047
00:36:40,445 --> 00:36:43,139
Number one, the relationship with God. Number two,

1048
00:36:43,139 --> 00:36:44,679
their relationship with their wife,

1049
00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:47,460
number three, their relationship with their kids, and

1050
00:36:47,460 --> 00:36:50,019
number four, their relationship with other men. And

1051
00:36:50,019 --> 00:36:51,460
so we said, like, that's that's how we

1052
00:36:51,460 --> 00:36:52,839
wanna do this. And and Sunday,

1053
00:36:53,940 --> 00:36:56,659
generally, that's ours help them strengthen their relationship

1054
00:36:56,659 --> 00:36:58,484
with God. So what we did is as

1055
00:36:58,484 --> 00:37:00,324
we planned activities, and we tried to do

1056
00:37:00,324 --> 00:37:00,824
them,

1057
00:37:02,484 --> 00:37:05,284
every other month or so. We'd we'd rotate

1058
00:37:05,284 --> 00:37:06,664
between those three categories.

1059
00:37:06,964 --> 00:37:07,704
So first,

1060
00:37:10,110 --> 00:37:12,510
guys with other guys. So plan a shooting

1061
00:37:12,510 --> 00:37:13,730
activity. Everyone

1062
00:37:14,349 --> 00:37:16,269
shows up. Someone brings guns, and we shoot

1063
00:37:16,269 --> 00:37:17,010
for a while.

1064
00:37:18,829 --> 00:37:19,329
Or,

1065
00:37:19,950 --> 00:37:21,730
hey. We wanted to help dads

1066
00:37:22,110 --> 00:37:23,869
who have kids. Not all not all of

1067
00:37:23,869 --> 00:37:24,369
the

1068
00:37:24,695 --> 00:37:26,394
elders have kids. That's fine.

1069
00:37:27,014 --> 00:37:28,875
Not every activity is gonna apply

1070
00:37:29,175 --> 00:37:30,155
to every person.

1071
00:37:30,775 --> 00:37:32,235
But so we planned,

1072
00:37:32,695 --> 00:37:35,195
sledding activities. We planned a camping activity,

1073
00:37:36,614 --> 00:37:37,355
an evening

1074
00:37:37,655 --> 00:37:38,155
hangout

1075
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,639
play activity. And some of them were just

1076
00:37:40,639 --> 00:37:43,039
like, yeah. Leave the wides at home. Guys,

1077
00:37:43,039 --> 00:37:45,059
this is just you and your kids. Come

1078
00:37:45,199 --> 00:37:46,659
and and have a cool experience.

1079
00:37:47,199 --> 00:37:48,900
And then others were focused on,

1080
00:37:49,519 --> 00:37:50,019
guys

1081
00:37:50,319 --> 00:37:51,925
and their spouse. So,

1082
00:37:52,625 --> 00:37:54,784
planned a date night with, like, painting and

1083
00:37:54,784 --> 00:37:55,284
stuff,

1084
00:37:56,224 --> 00:37:58,945
have planned game nights, adult adult only game

1085
00:37:58,945 --> 00:37:59,445
nights,

1086
00:38:00,304 --> 00:38:02,864
focused on inviting people to come as couples

1087
00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:04,644
and and hang out together. So,

1088
00:38:05,264 --> 00:38:06,005
those activities,

1089
00:38:07,429 --> 00:38:10,469
some have been wildly well attended. Some, there's

1090
00:38:10,469 --> 00:38:12,089
only been four or five people.

1091
00:38:12,630 --> 00:38:14,389
And that's how we we kinda post them

1092
00:38:14,389 --> 00:38:15,829
and say, if this is a need for

1093
00:38:15,829 --> 00:38:16,329
you,

1094
00:38:16,869 --> 00:38:18,949
come. That's cool. Not everyone needs to come.

1095
00:38:18,949 --> 00:38:20,765
You don't need to be here, but we

1096
00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:22,445
wanna create this opportunity. If this is a

1097
00:38:22,445 --> 00:38:23,505
need that you have,

1098
00:38:24,125 --> 00:38:26,525
jump on in. Yeah. So that's kind of

1099
00:38:26,525 --> 00:38:29,965
the quorum organized activities. We've also worked on

1100
00:38:29,965 --> 00:38:30,465
starting,

1101
00:38:31,965 --> 00:38:32,945
interest based

1102
00:38:33,769 --> 00:38:35,449
micro groups. I don't know. I'm sure it's

1103
00:38:35,449 --> 00:38:36,889
the right word for it. Mhmm.

1104
00:38:37,289 --> 00:38:38,269
But it's really just,

1105
00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:40,349
people who had shared interests

1106
00:38:40,650 --> 00:38:42,809
and create a space for them and kinda

1107
00:38:42,809 --> 00:38:43,869
help jump start

1108
00:38:44,250 --> 00:38:46,429
that to happen. So one of the groups,

1109
00:38:46,934 --> 00:38:48,315
that started was,

1110
00:38:48,695 --> 00:38:49,835
weekly soccer

1111
00:38:50,454 --> 00:38:51,755
in the gym group.

1112
00:38:53,335 --> 00:38:53,835
And

1113
00:38:54,135 --> 00:38:57,094
from our perspective, what that involved was finding

1114
00:38:57,094 --> 00:38:59,275
the people who are interested, connecting them together.

1115
00:39:00,469 --> 00:39:02,309
We helped them find the equipment that they

1116
00:39:02,309 --> 00:39:03,210
need to

1117
00:39:04,389 --> 00:39:04,889
start

1118
00:39:05,190 --> 00:39:07,349
meeting and playing soccer, and then it has

1119
00:39:07,349 --> 00:39:10,230
taken off, and it's happening all on its

1120
00:39:10,230 --> 00:39:12,789
own. Right? We don't supervise. We don't do

1121
00:39:12,789 --> 00:39:15,494
anything. It just keeps happening. There's a,

1122
00:39:15,795 --> 00:39:17,734
discussion book group that happens.

1123
00:39:18,275 --> 00:39:20,275
And based on a recent survey we did,

1124
00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:22,034
there's a couple of others that we're gonna,

1125
00:39:22,434 --> 00:39:24,855
kind of do that same thing. Start it,

1126
00:39:25,795 --> 00:39:26,614
be an incubator

1127
00:39:26,914 --> 00:39:28,855
to help it stay alive in the first,

1128
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,440
you know, couple of months when it's hard

1129
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,280
for those to get going, and then have

1130
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,059
them go off and run by themselves.

1131
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,159
That's awesome. Yeah. So those kinda two different

1132
00:39:37,159 --> 00:39:37,659
groups,

1133
00:39:38,519 --> 00:39:39,420
I think maximizes

1134
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,500
our impact and our time

1135
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:42,359
spent,

1136
00:39:43,155 --> 00:39:45,494
but then creates opportunities for people to gather

1137
00:39:45,795 --> 00:39:47,735
in a variety of different contexts

1138
00:39:48,195 --> 00:39:49,974
and in support of different interests.

1139
00:39:50,594 --> 00:39:53,155
And so those, those are typically happening, like,

1140
00:39:53,155 --> 00:39:55,074
on a weekly basis, like the one that

1141
00:39:55,074 --> 00:39:56,375
you do with those focuses?

1142
00:39:57,210 --> 00:39:59,050
Is that a weekly thing? Or It's it's

1143
00:39:59,050 --> 00:40:00,730
what the group wants to do. Right? Oh,

1144
00:40:00,730 --> 00:40:01,230
okay.

1145
00:40:02,570 --> 00:40:04,730
And there's been a few that have started

1146
00:40:04,730 --> 00:40:06,969
and then kinda stopped, and we're gonna try

1147
00:40:06,969 --> 00:40:08,489
and kinda start them again. And that and

1148
00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:10,090
that's natural. It's sort of an ebb and

1149
00:40:10,090 --> 00:40:10,590
flow.

1150
00:40:11,514 --> 00:40:13,195
And I'm just curious with all those activity

1151
00:40:13,195 --> 00:40:14,875
outside the quorum. Like, you obviously, the ones

1152
00:40:14,954 --> 00:40:16,795
the interest based ones, they kinda get their

1153
00:40:16,875 --> 00:40:18,235
a life of their own, and they manage

1154
00:40:18,235 --> 00:40:20,235
that and just keep it going or, you

1155
00:40:20,235 --> 00:40:22,954
know, or come back to it. But is

1156
00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:24,789
there do you feel like there's, like do

1157
00:40:24,789 --> 00:40:26,550
you have to one of your counselors that

1158
00:40:26,550 --> 00:40:28,630
focus on making sure the activities are happening?

1159
00:40:28,630 --> 00:40:30,069
Or how how do you like, with the

1160
00:40:30,069 --> 00:40:32,250
administration and management of all that?

1161
00:40:32,949 --> 00:40:35,109
They're usually pretty simple. It's not a lot

1162
00:40:35,109 --> 00:40:36,409
of energy and time.

1163
00:40:36,785 --> 00:40:38,485
Guys typically aren't very needy.

1164
00:40:39,425 --> 00:40:41,664
We don't have to create this elaborate experience

1165
00:40:41,664 --> 00:40:44,164
for them. It's really just gather together.

1166
00:40:44,465 --> 00:40:45,445
There's some donuts,

1167
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:49,265
some guns, or some sleds, or hot chocolate,

1168
00:40:49,265 --> 00:40:49,664
or, you know

1169
00:40:50,704 --> 00:40:51,920
the one that we did that was a

1170
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:52,420
painting,

1171
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:54,099
we did bring in,

1172
00:40:55,199 --> 00:40:57,279
someone from the Relief Society to kinda help

1173
00:40:57,279 --> 00:40:59,039
lead that. And and and some of the

1174
00:40:59,039 --> 00:41:00,739
activities do end up

1175
00:41:01,199 --> 00:41:04,259
co coordinated or co planned with Relief Society.

1176
00:41:04,319 --> 00:41:06,259
We had a great relationship with them

1177
00:41:06,639 --> 00:41:08,534
to say, hey. We we're doing activity to

1178
00:41:08,534 --> 00:41:10,934
support men and their wives that obviously, you

1179
00:41:10,934 --> 00:41:14,054
know, impacts you and and your group. Let's

1180
00:41:14,054 --> 00:41:16,054
work on this together. And that's worked out

1181
00:41:16,054 --> 00:41:16,875
as well too.

1182
00:41:17,335 --> 00:41:19,734
Awesome. Anything else to mention as far as

1183
00:41:19,734 --> 00:41:22,295
building connection outside of the the suddenly core

1184
00:41:22,295 --> 00:41:23,730
meeting? Yeah. There is.

1185
00:41:24,590 --> 00:41:25,890
One of the key elements

1186
00:41:26,510 --> 00:41:28,050
to connection has been,

1187
00:41:28,670 --> 00:41:29,650
using WhatsApp

1188
00:41:30,349 --> 00:41:30,849
as

1189
00:41:32,829 --> 00:41:34,930
a informal communication mechanism

1190
00:41:35,694 --> 00:41:38,094
from in between people within the quorum. And

1191
00:41:38,094 --> 00:41:39,855
I'm gonna talk a lot about WhatsApp. That

1192
00:41:39,855 --> 00:41:42,434
speaks of what we know. There's probably other

1193
00:41:42,655 --> 00:41:45,534
platforms out there. We actually considered switching to

1194
00:41:45,534 --> 00:41:46,034
Discord

1195
00:41:46,414 --> 00:41:48,414
at one point, and there's there's probably others.

1196
00:41:48,414 --> 00:41:48,734
But,

1197
00:41:49,769 --> 00:41:51,210
what the WhatsApp looks like, we try and

1198
00:41:51,210 --> 00:41:52,489
get as many of the guys on there.

1199
00:41:52,489 --> 00:41:54,650
They're not all on there, but most of

1200
00:41:54,650 --> 00:41:55,390
them are.

1201
00:41:55,929 --> 00:41:57,929
And, you know, if I just pull it

1202
00:41:57,929 --> 00:41:58,429
up,

1203
00:41:58,890 --> 00:42:00,190
the last two weeks,

1204
00:42:01,864 --> 00:42:03,864
Hey. Does anyone have a tile saw? I'm

1205
00:42:03,864 --> 00:42:05,964
looking at doing some stuff in my,

1206
00:42:07,385 --> 00:42:10,105
kitchen. Hey. There's activity this, you know, game

1207
00:42:10,105 --> 00:42:10,924
night this Friday.

1208
00:42:12,905 --> 00:42:13,405
Hey.

1209
00:42:14,570 --> 00:42:16,650
Someone got put taken to the hospital. Can

1210
00:42:16,650 --> 00:42:17,869
you guys pray for them?

1211
00:42:20,010 --> 00:42:21,469
Didn't have a battery charger.

1212
00:42:22,889 --> 00:42:25,289
Didn't know how to or, you know, a

1213
00:42:25,289 --> 00:42:26,889
good place to get a garage door fixed.

1214
00:42:26,889 --> 00:42:28,250
I could keep going on. Right? It's just

1215
00:42:28,250 --> 00:42:31,735
very informal connection, but it's it's an opportunity

1216
00:42:31,795 --> 00:42:33,474
for someone to reach out and say, hey,

1217
00:42:33,474 --> 00:42:35,474
guys. I have a need and to have

1218
00:42:35,474 --> 00:42:36,535
people in your quorum

1219
00:42:37,235 --> 00:42:38,215
meet that need.

1220
00:42:38,675 --> 00:42:39,175
And,

1221
00:42:39,954 --> 00:42:42,195
we use that for hey. The you know,

1222
00:42:42,195 --> 00:42:43,954
someone in the hospital needs a blessing. Is

1223
00:42:43,954 --> 00:42:44,934
there anyone available?

1224
00:42:45,380 --> 00:42:47,079
This Saturday, we gotta move.

1225
00:42:47,460 --> 00:42:49,079
We need six people who's available.

1226
00:42:50,739 --> 00:42:52,579
And and the fact that it's not just

1227
00:42:52,579 --> 00:42:54,900
one way communication, it's not an email newsletter

1228
00:42:54,900 --> 00:42:56,739
that goes out from the presidency to everyone

1229
00:42:56,739 --> 00:42:59,184
and just kind of out, and they just

1230
00:42:59,184 --> 00:43:00,005
receive it.

1231
00:43:00,385 --> 00:43:02,804
There's a lot of back and forth and

1232
00:43:02,864 --> 00:43:05,025
people connecting with each other. So I think

1233
00:43:05,025 --> 00:43:06,964
that's been a really powerful platform

1234
00:43:07,824 --> 00:43:08,324
to

1235
00:43:08,864 --> 00:43:09,364
to

1236
00:43:09,744 --> 00:43:12,565
to, you know, connect people in nonspiritual

1237
00:43:13,769 --> 00:43:15,230
matters as well as spiritual

1238
00:43:15,690 --> 00:43:17,449
things. Yeah. Yeah. And in modern days, like,

1239
00:43:17,449 --> 00:43:19,530
with these so many apps and places to

1240
00:43:19,530 --> 00:43:22,090
connect, it should almost be mandated that every

1241
00:43:22,090 --> 00:43:24,730
quorum should have a a group chat of

1242
00:43:24,730 --> 00:43:26,730
some type. Right? That because I see that

1243
00:43:26,730 --> 00:43:28,570
a lot in our our quorum chat as

1244
00:43:28,570 --> 00:43:30,324
well. Just the the very informal

1245
00:43:30,625 --> 00:43:33,025
requests or thoughts or, you know, someone shares

1246
00:43:33,025 --> 00:43:34,545
a funny meme or, you know, whatever it

1247
00:43:34,545 --> 00:43:36,224
is, and and is this such a simple

1248
00:43:36,224 --> 00:43:37,204
way to stimulate

1249
00:43:37,505 --> 00:43:40,625
further connection outside the Gorm meeting. Right? Yeah.

1250
00:43:40,625 --> 00:43:43,284
Yeah. And I I will note WhatsApp has,

1251
00:43:44,570 --> 00:43:45,070
expanded

1252
00:43:46,570 --> 00:43:48,809
the flexibility of the system. You can now

1253
00:43:48,809 --> 00:43:51,369
have a kind of an umbrella community group,

1254
00:43:51,369 --> 00:43:53,469
and then underneath it, a bunch of subgroups.

1255
00:43:53,929 --> 00:43:55,849
And so we're actually in the process of

1256
00:43:55,849 --> 00:43:58,670
transitioning that right now where each of the

1257
00:43:59,385 --> 00:44:02,045
focus or interest groups will have their own

1258
00:44:02,905 --> 00:44:03,405
sub

1259
00:44:04,184 --> 00:44:05,164
group or substring

1260
00:44:05,864 --> 00:44:07,945
within the group. And so everyone can see

1261
00:44:07,945 --> 00:44:09,864
what's happening, but they don't necessarily have to

1262
00:44:09,864 --> 00:44:11,385
be part of the conversation or get all

1263
00:44:11,385 --> 00:44:12,045
the notifications.

1264
00:44:12,585 --> 00:44:15,190
So the there's some issues in trying to

1265
00:44:15,190 --> 00:44:17,190
make sure that people don't leave because there's

1266
00:44:17,190 --> 00:44:18,010
just too much

1267
00:44:18,869 --> 00:44:20,010
unwanted chatter.

1268
00:44:20,470 --> 00:44:22,150
Yeah. So something you kinda have to manage

1269
00:44:22,150 --> 00:44:23,130
as as a presidency.

1270
00:44:24,630 --> 00:44:26,550
But, we're we're gonna it's and that's been

1271
00:44:26,550 --> 00:44:27,450
a great resource.

1272
00:44:27,824 --> 00:44:29,425
Yeah. That's awesome. There's some groups that aren't

1273
00:44:29,425 --> 00:44:31,984
doing that, so strongly encourage them to if

1274
00:44:31,984 --> 00:44:33,045
they if they aren't.

1275
00:44:33,505 --> 00:44:35,284
Yeah. That's great. That's awesome.

1276
00:44:36,144 --> 00:44:38,224
Alright. What about the last principle here is

1277
00:44:38,224 --> 00:44:39,525
minister to the ministers.

1278
00:44:40,929 --> 00:44:43,510
Yeah. So I mentioned at the beginning that

1279
00:44:44,610 --> 00:44:46,070
we we got the program

1280
00:44:46,769 --> 00:44:47,269
administratively

1281
00:44:47,650 --> 00:44:50,449
in position, and I I won't say that

1282
00:44:50,449 --> 00:44:51,110
it has

1283
00:44:52,304 --> 00:44:53,045
been spectacularly

1284
00:44:53,744 --> 00:44:54,244
successful

1285
00:44:54,625 --> 00:44:55,204
at the

1286
00:44:55,744 --> 00:44:56,484
the ministering

1287
00:44:56,944 --> 00:44:58,484
to the family's level.

1288
00:44:58,944 --> 00:45:00,944
And and we've tried lots of different things

1289
00:45:00,944 --> 00:45:01,444
and,

1290
00:45:02,704 --> 00:45:04,464
you know, more hand holding. I mean, I

1291
00:45:04,464 --> 00:45:05,744
I everything I would tell you, you'd be

1292
00:45:05,744 --> 00:45:07,264
like, yeah, Adam. I can tell you that

1293
00:45:07,264 --> 00:45:08,039
that wasn't gonna

1294
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:09,340
work.

1295
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:10,860
But, you know,

1296
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:13,559
but what what we've kind of settled on

1297
00:45:13,559 --> 00:45:15,340
at this point is to say,

1298
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:17,820
if we can't

1299
00:45:18,199 --> 00:45:20,119
make ministry happy, because you can't really force

1300
00:45:20,119 --> 00:45:22,119
it, what we can do is we can

1301
00:45:22,119 --> 00:45:23,474
minister to the men,

1302
00:45:24,114 --> 00:45:25,414
through the ministry interviews.

1303
00:45:26,035 --> 00:45:26,535
And,

1304
00:45:27,474 --> 00:45:29,095
the hope is that over time,

1305
00:45:29,875 --> 00:45:30,375
by

1306
00:45:30,835 --> 00:45:33,235
modeling what it looks like to look after

1307
00:45:33,235 --> 00:45:33,735
someone,

1308
00:45:35,315 --> 00:45:35,815
and

1309
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,480
to kinda show this, like, yeah. I'm not

1310
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:38,980
here

1311
00:45:39,519 --> 00:45:40,019
to

1312
00:45:41,519 --> 00:45:42,420
drive accountability.

1313
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,920
I'm here to drive relationship. And that's the

1314
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,079
purpose of a ministry interview, and that's also

1315
00:45:48,079 --> 00:45:50,739
the purpose of ministering. It's not administrative.

1316
00:45:51,195 --> 00:45:52,094
It's not teaching.

1317
00:45:53,195 --> 00:45:55,515
It's really ministering and looking at them. So

1318
00:45:55,515 --> 00:45:57,434
so I think the keys there are most

1319
00:45:57,434 --> 00:45:59,055
of our ministry interviews happen

1320
00:46:00,315 --> 00:46:03,355
over the phone, which I, I think some

1321
00:46:03,355 --> 00:46:05,940
people prefer in person. We found doing over

1322
00:46:05,940 --> 00:46:07,559
the phone is is just fine.

1323
00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:08,360
Yeah.

1324
00:46:08,739 --> 00:46:09,239
And

1325
00:46:09,539 --> 00:46:12,579
three quarters of the conversation is, hey. How

1326
00:46:12,579 --> 00:46:13,400
are you doing?

1327
00:46:13,780 --> 00:46:16,440
How's how's work? How's your family?

1328
00:46:16,739 --> 00:46:19,275
How's life? What's going well? What's what are

1329
00:46:19,275 --> 00:46:20,494
you struggling with?

1330
00:46:22,155 --> 00:46:23,934
And and really spending time

1331
00:46:24,714 --> 00:46:25,534
being with

1332
00:46:26,074 --> 00:46:28,014
the the minister, the person.

1333
00:46:28,394 --> 00:46:30,174
Yep. And then at the and then there's

1334
00:46:30,234 --> 00:46:32,094
a a chunk of it that's that asks,

1335
00:46:32,474 --> 00:46:34,769
how is ministering working for you? Like,

1336
00:46:35,250 --> 00:46:37,329
what what are the obstacles? Like, are you

1337
00:46:37,329 --> 00:46:40,050
finding fulfillment in it? Are you not finding

1338
00:46:40,050 --> 00:46:42,630
fulfillment? Like, how is it working for you?

1339
00:46:42,769 --> 00:46:43,510
And then,

1340
00:46:44,610 --> 00:46:46,289
you know, is there anything we can support

1341
00:46:46,289 --> 00:46:48,545
you to help you level up in a

1342
00:46:48,545 --> 00:46:50,644
way that you want to with ministering?

1343
00:46:51,184 --> 00:46:51,684
And,

1344
00:46:52,065 --> 00:46:54,085
so it's kind of a bit of ministering,

1345
00:46:54,785 --> 00:46:57,105
a bit of administrative, and mostly just, hey.

1346
00:46:57,105 --> 00:46:59,265
I'm here to minister to you. And Yeah.

1347
00:46:59,265 --> 00:47:01,025
So I know. Will will that work? Has

1348
00:47:01,025 --> 00:47:04,059
it worked? Yeah. Not not not amazing. Well,

1349
00:47:04,059 --> 00:47:05,280
but Well, I think we

1350
00:47:05,659 --> 00:47:07,760
I don't know. We we kinda, like,

1351
00:47:08,619 --> 00:47:11,179
frame the ministering interview in in maybe awkward

1352
00:47:11,179 --> 00:47:13,280
ways, and we wonder it almost becomes,

1353
00:47:13,980 --> 00:47:15,755
less fun when we do that because it's

1354
00:47:15,755 --> 00:47:17,914
sort of like you know, maybe too often

1355
00:47:17,914 --> 00:47:19,755
we just quickly default to, like, well, how's

1356
00:47:19,755 --> 00:47:21,275
your family? It's like, are you ministry? Do

1357
00:47:21,275 --> 00:47:22,875
you know your companion? Like, we get right

1358
00:47:22,875 --> 00:47:24,015
into it. Yeah.

1359
00:47:24,635 --> 00:47:27,035
And that's just like I don't know. Like,

1360
00:47:27,035 --> 00:47:28,795
I there's so much more that can happen

1361
00:47:28,795 --> 00:47:30,679
there where it's more of an interview of

1362
00:47:30,679 --> 00:47:33,239
connection. And, you know, if you're you're simulating

1363
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:34,920
this connection in in core meeting, hopefully, it

1364
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,319
gets easier. But Yeah. By just by just

1365
00:47:37,319 --> 00:47:39,559
making it a real conversation of how you

1366
00:47:39,559 --> 00:47:41,019
doing, you're like, oh, yeah. And,

1367
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,319
you know where to find your ministering assignment.

1368
00:47:43,319 --> 00:47:45,844
Right? Like, you know, and and I don't

1369
00:47:45,844 --> 00:47:47,364
know. It'll be a lot a lot more

1370
00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:49,525
engaging, and people it'd be less, like, you

1371
00:47:49,525 --> 00:47:52,005
know, pulling teeth that way. But Yeah. And

1372
00:47:52,005 --> 00:47:54,484
and they've been great conversations, and I've I've

1373
00:47:54,484 --> 00:47:56,405
really enjoyed there have been times when,

1374
00:47:57,339 --> 00:47:58,859
my counselors have done some of them, and

1375
00:47:58,859 --> 00:48:00,380
I've done some of them. There's been some

1376
00:48:00,380 --> 00:48:01,980
quarters where I just did I said, hey,

1377
00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:03,839
guys. I'm doing all this quarter.

1378
00:48:04,699 --> 00:48:06,539
I wanna I wanna connect in with people

1379
00:48:06,539 --> 00:48:08,059
and just kinda find out what's going on.

1380
00:48:08,059 --> 00:48:10,304
And that Yeah. Both both are good.

1381
00:48:10,684 --> 00:48:12,445
I like as president to to know what's

1382
00:48:12,445 --> 00:48:13,744
going on and have those connections,

1383
00:48:14,925 --> 00:48:16,445
but I haven't always done all of them

1384
00:48:16,445 --> 00:48:16,945
myself.

1385
00:48:17,324 --> 00:48:18,625
Yeah. Really cool.

1386
00:48:19,405 --> 00:48:22,844
Well, Adam, any point principle concept we didn't

1387
00:48:22,844 --> 00:48:24,045
hit on that we might need to make

1388
00:48:24,045 --> 00:48:25,650
sure we we cover, or how do we

1389
00:48:25,650 --> 00:48:26,150
do?

1390
00:48:26,609 --> 00:48:28,369
No. Pretty good. Let me let me kinda

1391
00:48:28,369 --> 00:48:30,789
round this out Okay. With

1392
00:48:31,809 --> 00:48:33,969
a experience we had. This was a lesson

1393
00:48:33,969 --> 00:48:34,869
back in December,

1394
00:48:35,489 --> 00:48:35,989
and,

1395
00:48:38,525 --> 00:48:40,224
I was leading a discussion

1396
00:48:40,525 --> 00:48:42,045
or I was supposed to lead a discussion

1397
00:48:42,045 --> 00:48:42,545
and,

1398
00:48:43,965 --> 00:48:46,684
couldn't narrow down, like, a specific topic to

1399
00:48:46,684 --> 00:48:48,045
talk about. And I realized, okay. I I

1400
00:48:48,045 --> 00:48:49,724
just wanna hear from them. Like, how is

1401
00:48:49,724 --> 00:48:51,644
this working for you guys? Like, what what

1402
00:48:51,644 --> 00:48:52,465
are you experiencing?

1403
00:48:53,369 --> 00:48:54,750
I wanted to do it

1404
00:48:55,289 --> 00:48:57,389
in a way that allowed for maximum,

1405
00:48:57,929 --> 00:48:58,750
like, honesty.

1406
00:48:59,449 --> 00:49:01,529
So I actually tried something new. I don't

1407
00:49:01,529 --> 00:49:02,569
know if you if you're familiar with this

1408
00:49:02,650 --> 00:49:03,869
the Slido platform,

1409
00:49:04,969 --> 00:49:06,750
where people can anonymously

1410
00:49:07,755 --> 00:49:09,214
submit answers to a question.

1411
00:49:09,514 --> 00:49:11,355
Oh, cool. Okay. So I threw up a

1412
00:49:11,355 --> 00:49:13,755
QR code. Everyone logs on to the Slido

1413
00:49:13,755 --> 00:49:14,255
app,

1414
00:49:14,635 --> 00:49:15,375
and then,

1415
00:49:15,835 --> 00:49:17,514
you know, starting with a question just to

1416
00:49:17,514 --> 00:49:19,135
kind of get things started.

1417
00:49:19,594 --> 00:49:21,114
And the first question I asked them, that

1418
00:49:21,114 --> 00:49:22,255
was kinda a real question,

1419
00:49:22,635 --> 00:49:23,135
was,

1420
00:49:23,619 --> 00:49:26,359
you know, what have been impactful discussions

1421
00:49:27,460 --> 00:49:29,300
for you in the past year in elders

1422
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:31,300
quorum? Like, what's what's really been meaningful to

1423
00:49:31,300 --> 00:49:33,480
you? And this I mentioned earlier how,

1424
00:49:33,859 --> 00:49:35,539
how much of a struggle it's been for

1425
00:49:35,539 --> 00:49:36,519
me to feel like

1426
00:49:37,235 --> 00:49:39,875
that first ten, fifteen minutes of Quorum was

1427
00:49:39,875 --> 00:49:40,375
productive.

1428
00:49:40,755 --> 00:49:42,515
Like, the the guys really enjoyed it. It

1429
00:49:42,515 --> 00:49:43,735
wasn't just super awkward.

1430
00:49:44,675 --> 00:49:46,215
What was fascinating is,

1431
00:49:48,515 --> 00:49:50,515
most of the answers I got to that

1432
00:49:50,515 --> 00:49:51,815
question were

1433
00:49:52,969 --> 00:49:54,409
I love the time that we spend at

1434
00:49:54,409 --> 00:49:56,829
the beginning of quorum talking. And that

1435
00:49:57,130 --> 00:49:58,969
that blew me away. I did not expect

1436
00:49:58,969 --> 00:50:01,690
that. I expected, you know, this great lesson

1437
00:50:01,690 --> 00:50:02,750
or that great lesson,

1438
00:50:03,130 --> 00:50:05,150
but, you know, some of the comments were,

1439
00:50:05,175 --> 00:50:07,195
you know, the open discussions at the beginning's

1440
00:50:07,414 --> 00:50:08,795
very real, supportive,

1441
00:50:09,255 --> 00:50:09,755
strengthening.

1442
00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:12,535
The most impactful discussions are usually right at

1443
00:50:12,535 --> 00:50:14,535
the beginning where we address the needs of

1444
00:50:14,535 --> 00:50:16,614
those in the quorum before a scheduled planned

1445
00:50:16,614 --> 00:50:17,114
lesson.

1446
00:50:18,260 --> 00:50:20,579
Praying for members of the quorum, speaking with

1447
00:50:20,579 --> 00:50:22,599
one another concerning the welfare of our souls.

1448
00:50:22,820 --> 00:50:24,280
Like and so that was really

1449
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:26,980
satisfying to see that. I think, you know,

1450
00:50:26,980 --> 00:50:28,579
all of those times where I asked it,

1451
00:50:28,579 --> 00:50:29,719
no one said anything,

1452
00:50:31,460 --> 00:50:31,960
when

1453
00:50:32,420 --> 00:50:34,715
there was, you know, silence or just it

1454
00:50:34,715 --> 00:50:35,855
just didn't seem

1455
00:50:36,235 --> 00:50:37,695
it was act it was working.

1456
00:50:37,994 --> 00:50:39,434
And and that was what's cool about it.

1457
00:50:39,434 --> 00:50:39,934
Like,

1458
00:50:40,474 --> 00:50:42,015
people the the guys

1459
00:50:42,394 --> 00:50:44,315
want that connection. So even if they don't

1460
00:50:44,315 --> 00:50:45,449
look like they want it,

1461
00:50:46,010 --> 00:50:47,130
even if they don't act like they want

1462
00:50:47,130 --> 00:50:48,269
it, they really do.

1463
00:50:49,050 --> 00:50:50,429
And so even if done

1464
00:50:51,050 --> 00:50:52,989
awkwardly, poorly, whatever,

1465
00:50:53,530 --> 00:50:55,130
taking the time to do that. So if

1466
00:50:55,130 --> 00:50:57,130
if someone's hesitant to start that or they

1467
00:50:57,130 --> 00:50:58,829
did it once and no one said anything,

1468
00:50:59,130 --> 00:50:59,630
I

1469
00:51:00,805 --> 00:51:02,985
keep up with it. I keep doing it.

1470
00:51:04,244 --> 00:51:06,505
It's really impactful and meaningful to people.

1471
00:51:07,204 --> 00:51:07,704
Yeah.

1472
00:51:08,405 --> 00:51:10,485
That's awesome. Yeah. So and then we wanna

1473
00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:12,485
ask a couple of other questions. And the

1474
00:51:12,485 --> 00:51:14,579
last question we asked was, you know, what

1475
00:51:14,579 --> 00:51:18,019
remains as my most significant obstacle to personal

1476
00:51:18,019 --> 00:51:20,260
spiritual growth? So it's really a question that's

1477
00:51:20,260 --> 00:51:21,320
asking for

1478
00:51:21,619 --> 00:51:23,960
vulnerability. Right? Yeah. That's a great question.

1479
00:51:24,420 --> 00:51:26,039
And there was no.

1480
00:51:27,554 --> 00:51:30,054
We didn't get some answers that we suspect

1481
00:51:30,114 --> 00:51:32,034
probably are true. Like, no one said I'm

1482
00:51:32,034 --> 00:51:34,755
struggling with pornography despite the fact that someone

1483
00:51:34,755 --> 00:51:36,675
probably is. So we didn't get, like, a

1484
00:51:36,675 --> 00:51:37,574
%

1485
00:51:38,739 --> 00:51:40,900
vulnerability, but some of the answers that people

1486
00:51:40,900 --> 00:51:42,280
were giving were just really,

1487
00:51:43,860 --> 00:51:44,840
they were personal.

1488
00:51:46,260 --> 00:51:49,239
Dysfunctional tendencies to my own childhood trauma.

1489
00:51:50,420 --> 00:51:52,200
Honestly, my phone. Inner distractions.

1490
00:51:53,144 --> 00:51:55,965
Distractions replace meaningful, mindful time with God.

1491
00:51:56,344 --> 00:51:56,744
So,

1492
00:51:57,545 --> 00:51:58,045
it

1493
00:51:58,505 --> 00:52:00,184
it was a cool experience. First of all,

1494
00:52:00,184 --> 00:52:01,644
just to be able to ask questions

1495
00:52:02,985 --> 00:52:05,085
and allow people to answer anonymously,

1496
00:52:05,539 --> 00:52:07,320
which we don't do every I mean, obviously,

1497
00:52:07,380 --> 00:52:09,380
most discussions are very much in person. They're

1498
00:52:09,380 --> 00:52:10,980
very much, you know, we know who's talking.

1499
00:52:10,980 --> 00:52:13,400
But I think occasionally allowing people to,

1500
00:52:14,980 --> 00:52:17,380
be more vulnerable than they would be in

1501
00:52:17,380 --> 00:52:17,880
person,

1502
00:52:18,305 --> 00:52:19,905
I think is valuable. I think we got

1503
00:52:19,905 --> 00:52:21,845
some great feedback. And and

1504
00:52:22,224 --> 00:52:23,985
in between each of these questions, we stopped

1505
00:52:23,985 --> 00:52:25,184
and talked about it, and there was a

1506
00:52:25,184 --> 00:52:27,525
lot of like, oh, wow. I didn't realize

1507
00:52:27,585 --> 00:52:28,085
people

1508
00:52:28,785 --> 00:52:30,570
were feeling that or thought that.

1509
00:52:31,769 --> 00:52:34,410
And it kinda changed people's perspective as they

1510
00:52:34,410 --> 00:52:36,730
saw what people were really thinking inside. So

1511
00:52:36,730 --> 00:52:38,349
I I think it's a cool tool.

1512
00:52:39,210 --> 00:52:40,969
Again, I'm not if I don't work for

1513
00:52:40,969 --> 00:52:41,469
Slido,

1514
00:52:41,769 --> 00:52:42,750
there's there's probably

1515
00:52:43,130 --> 00:52:45,130
plenty of apps or versions of of ways

1516
00:52:45,130 --> 00:52:47,375
to do that, but creating some system. We're

1517
00:52:47,375 --> 00:52:48,835
actually in the process of,

1518
00:52:49,934 --> 00:52:52,275
kind of on a weekly basis, having

1519
00:52:52,734 --> 00:52:54,994
a Slido that's just out there that someone

1520
00:52:55,135 --> 00:52:56,894
if during cornea, they wanted to say something,

1521
00:52:56,894 --> 00:52:58,574
but they didn't feel comfortable saying it out

1522
00:52:58,574 --> 00:53:00,659
loud, there's a a format that they can

1523
00:53:00,659 --> 00:53:02,199
kind of, on the side, discreetly,

1524
00:53:02,980 --> 00:53:04,359
throw something up there, and,

1525
00:53:04,900 --> 00:53:06,179
the teacher would be the only one that

1526
00:53:06,179 --> 00:53:06,980
would see it,

1527
00:53:07,380 --> 00:53:08,599
as a way to facilitate

1528
00:53:09,219 --> 00:53:10,599
that. Because I think it's hard,

1529
00:53:12,659 --> 00:53:13,159
to

1530
00:53:14,025 --> 00:53:16,444
have people be vulnerable in front of fifteen,

1531
00:53:16,585 --> 00:53:19,164
twenty other guys at the same time. Yeah.

1532
00:53:19,464 --> 00:53:19,964
So

1533
00:53:20,264 --> 00:53:22,105
providing a format for them to be a

1534
00:53:22,105 --> 00:53:24,204
little more vulnerable, but not be so open,

1535
00:53:24,505 --> 00:53:25,885
I think, is Yeah. Is helpful.

1536
00:53:26,300 --> 00:53:27,739
I love it. Love it. I love a

1537
00:53:27,739 --> 00:53:29,340
good tool like that that people can check

1538
00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:30,480
out as well. But,

1539
00:53:30,780 --> 00:53:32,219
and we've done that in our core meeting

1540
00:53:32,219 --> 00:53:33,359
with a simple, just,

1541
00:53:33,659 --> 00:53:36,619
you know, anonymous Google form. That's right. You

1542
00:53:36,619 --> 00:53:38,239
you just look at it in the spreadsheet

1543
00:53:38,300 --> 00:53:40,239
that or the in the results response,

1544
00:53:40,699 --> 00:53:43,545
portion, and it's amazing how real people will

1545
00:53:43,545 --> 00:53:44,445
get when,

1546
00:53:45,945 --> 00:53:47,545
when they know their name isn't attached to

1547
00:53:47,545 --> 00:53:49,224
it. It gives us still gives us chance

1548
00:53:49,224 --> 00:53:51,465
to discuss it and and share perspectives on

1549
00:53:51,465 --> 00:53:52,925
it. You know? So it's really powerful.

1550
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:55,880
Cool, Adam. Well, this has been fantastic. So

1551
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:57,960
many fun ideas. I'm inspired and lot lots

1552
00:53:57,960 --> 00:53:59,500
that I I can try and consider.

1553
00:54:00,519 --> 00:54:02,920
As, as you consider your time as a

1554
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:05,000
leader, how has being a leader helped you

1555
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:06,940
become a better follower of Jesus Christ?

1556
00:54:07,905 --> 00:54:08,405
Yeah.

1557
00:54:09,025 --> 00:54:11,204
You know, fantastic question. And,

1558
00:54:11,905 --> 00:54:14,085
you know, as I've seen my quorum

1559
00:54:14,545 --> 00:54:16,864
grow over the past three years, I've definitely

1560
00:54:16,864 --> 00:54:17,925
seen a lot of growth

1561
00:54:18,625 --> 00:54:20,644
in myself, and that's been a

1562
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,659
hugely rewarding experience for me.

1563
00:54:24,599 --> 00:54:25,900
What I see is

1564
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:27,659
when I

1565
00:54:28,119 --> 00:54:29,820
am trying to do

1566
00:54:31,079 --> 00:54:33,880
God's work in my elders' quorum and I

1567
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:34,860
see him

1568
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:36,219
guide me,

1569
00:54:36,905 --> 00:54:38,525
and and not just me, my presidency.

1570
00:54:39,385 --> 00:54:41,244
When we're counseling and we're gathering

1571
00:54:41,625 --> 00:54:44,505
and ideas come and they flow and they

1572
00:54:44,505 --> 00:54:46,905
make sense and then they work and and

1573
00:54:46,905 --> 00:54:48,045
then we see growth,

1574
00:54:48,599 --> 00:54:50,940
Like, I know that God is

1575
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:52,220
guiding us.

1576
00:54:53,079 --> 00:54:55,260
And as a disciple of Jesus Christ,

1577
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,739
best thing we can do is know what

1578
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:01,820
he wants us to do.

1579
00:55:02,804 --> 00:55:04,585
And as we do,

1580
00:55:05,364 --> 00:55:06,664
as we receive revelation

1581
00:55:07,125 --> 00:55:09,764
and get guidance and then follow through with

1582
00:55:09,764 --> 00:55:11,764
that and do, we we can know in

1583
00:55:11,764 --> 00:55:12,664
a given moment,

1584
00:55:13,204 --> 00:55:14,105
I am doing

1585
00:55:14,405 --> 00:55:14,905
exactly

1586
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:16,219
the right thing.

1587
00:55:29,125 --> 00:55:32,025
And that concludes this How I Lead interview.

1588
00:55:32,244 --> 00:55:34,164
I hope you enjoyed it. And, I would

1589
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:35,925
ask you, could you take a minute and

1590
00:55:35,925 --> 00:55:37,844
drop this link in an email, on social

1591
00:55:37,844 --> 00:55:40,005
media, in a text, wherever it makes the

1592
00:55:40,005 --> 00:55:41,684
most sense, and share it with somebody who

1593
00:55:41,684 --> 00:55:44,659
could relate to this experience. And this is

1594
00:55:44,659 --> 00:55:46,819
how we develop as leaders, just hearing what

1595
00:55:46,819 --> 00:55:48,819
the other guy's doing, trying some things out,

1596
00:55:48,819 --> 00:55:49,719
testing, adjusting

1597
00:55:50,099 --> 00:55:51,299
for your area. And,

1598
00:55:51,940 --> 00:55:54,179
that's where great leadership's discovered. Right? So we

1599
00:55:54,179 --> 00:55:56,179
would love to have you, share this with,

1600
00:55:56,614 --> 00:55:59,355
somebody in this calling or a related calling,

1601
00:55:59,494 --> 00:56:01,414
and that would be great. And, also, if

1602
00:56:01,414 --> 00:56:02,315
you know somebody,

1603
00:56:02,694 --> 00:56:04,614
any type of leader who would be a

1604
00:56:04,614 --> 00:56:06,714
fantastic guest on the how I lead segment,

1605
00:56:07,174 --> 00:56:09,994
reach out to us. Go to leadingsaints.org/contact.

1606
00:56:10,269 --> 00:56:12,590
Maybe send this in individual an email letting

1607
00:56:12,590 --> 00:56:14,590
them know that you're going to be suggesting

1608
00:56:14,590 --> 00:56:16,829
their name for this interview. We'll reach out

1609
00:56:16,829 --> 00:56:17,869
to them and,

1610
00:56:18,430 --> 00:56:19,550
see if we can line them up. So,

1611
00:56:19,550 --> 00:56:21,970
again, go to leadingsaints.org/contact,

1612
00:56:22,030 --> 00:56:23,970
and there you can submit all the information

1613
00:56:24,324 --> 00:56:26,005
and let us know. And maybe they will

1614
00:56:26,005 --> 00:56:27,765
be on a future how I lead segment

1615
00:56:27,765 --> 00:56:29,304
on the Leading Saints podcast.

1616
00:56:30,005 --> 00:56:32,724
Remember, learn more about disclosing betrayal from Jeff

1617
00:56:32,724 --> 00:56:36,025
Struer by visiting leadingsaints.org/fourteen.

1618
00:56:44,340 --> 00:56:46,900
It came as a result of the position

1619
00:56:46,900 --> 00:56:49,880
of leadership which was imposed upon us

1620
00:56:50,420 --> 00:56:53,224
by the God of heaven who brought forth

1621
00:56:53,364 --> 00:56:53,945
a restoration

1622
00:56:54,325 --> 00:56:56,585
of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

1623
00:56:57,045 --> 00:56:58,184
And when the declaration

1624
00:56:58,485 --> 00:56:59,224
was made

1625
00:56:59,525 --> 00:57:00,825
concerning the only

1626
00:57:01,605 --> 00:57:03,925
true and living Church upon the face of

1627
00:57:03,925 --> 00:57:04,664
the earth,

1628
00:57:05,190 --> 00:57:07,769
We were immediately put in a position of

1629
00:57:07,909 --> 00:57:08,409
loneliness,

1630
00:57:08,869 --> 00:57:10,409
the loneliness of leadership

1631
00:57:11,269 --> 00:57:14,329
from which we cannot shrink nor run away,

1632
00:57:15,269 --> 00:57:17,750
and to which we must face up with

1633
00:57:17,750 --> 00:57:18,250
boldness

1634
00:57:18,550 --> 00:57:19,289
and courage

1635
00:57:20,099 --> 00:57:20,759
and ability.