- It is finally available.
I've been working on a manuscript for the past four years,
and it's finally a book I can hold in my hands.
It's titled, is God Disappointed In Me Removing Shame
From a Gospel of Grace?
This book has gotten so much attention
that it is already a number one Amazon bestseller.
I'm Beyond amazed in just a few words I wrote,
is God Disappointed in Me for Latter Day Saints
who often feel overwhelmed by the gospel
and who are constantly worrying if they are doing enough.
It's for the Latter Day Saint
who have stepped away from the church is for the individuals
who appear to be living right
but still can't find peace and happiness.
And frankly, it's for everyone who enjoys listening
to the Leading Saints podcast.
You will love and cherish this book.
Now, warning, you might want
to consider purchasing multiple copies to share one Bishop
who got an advance copy, read it in one weekend,
and then literally purchased 100 additional copies.
You can order it on Amazon.
The link is in the show notes,
or starting in March, you can find it in your local Costco
in Idaho, Utah, and Arizona.
It's called, is God Disappointed In Me and you can Order it.
Now,
I would be rude if I didn't take the time to explain
to the newer listeners what Leading Saints is.
Here it goes. Leading Saints is an organization that started
as a hobby blog in 2010,
and then really caught some traction in 2014
when the podcast started.
We talk about all things leadership in the context
of the Church of Jesus Christ, of Latterday Saints.
We aren't owned by the church,
but we have a great relationship with them
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My name is Kurt Frankham.
I'm generally the voice you hear as the host of the podcast.
I've tried to get other hosts,
but people demand my smooth tone and I really enjoy it.
Check out leading saints.org to really get into the weeds of
what Leading Saints is
and learn all about our mission
to help Latter Day Saints be better prepared to lead.
So you've been called as a stake president and now what?
This is a series that I actually did through the newsletter
that, uh, is actually quite popular on the,
the Leading Saints platform.
Every week, Tuesday or Wednesday, I send out a newsletter
and just include a simple message in it,
and it's actually become one
of the more popular things on Leading Saints.
And so if you're not subscribed to our newsletter, go
to leading saints.org
and it'll pop up a box
where you can put your email in and go there.
Or just simply go to leading saints.org/subscribe
and, uh, put your email in
and then you'll be sure to get our weekly emails
where I share a leadership thought
and we talk about any, anything
and everything, whether it's how to run a meeting
to some tips and tricks about being a stake president.
Uh, we talk about it all.
Now, for those of you that are new,
maybe just came across this like, Hey, what's,
what is this guy online?
You know, just talking about, uh, being a stake president,
you know, that's weird.
Well, this is what we do at Leading Saints.
We explore concepts, principles, dynamics in leadership,
specific leadership callings,
and here from the other guy that's done it right
and understand what,
how they approached it and things they did.
And so the beauty of it is you can take it or leave it.
Maybe there's an idea that I'll share here
that you can absorb, put into practice
and really benefit from,
or you'll disagree with me in some areas.
And that's fine, just as long
as you know why you do the things you do,
because this is the, this is the dynamic of leadership
that we really want to push through through leading Saints,
is that we don't claim to have the right answers,
nor do we claim that any
of our guests have the right answers.
But it's all about intentionality.
If we can be intentional as, as leaders
and not just do what the last guy did or just do it
because that's how you've always seen it done.
But be intentional about your leadership
and, uh, it will reach more people, bring more people
to the gospel and to Jesus Christ.
So many of you know, I served as a bishop in South Salt Lake
for about five years, and I was coming to the end of my time
and I remember the day that the,
my stake president came into my office as, uh,
randomly one Sunday and told me
that he was actually being released,
and it was sooner than expected
and I was kind of put off guard.
I thought, wow, I, I'm gonna experience this process
of being a bishop and a new state president called,
I had no inclination that I would be
involved in the next state presidency.
But, uh, went through the interview process, uh,
a few weeks later, and lo
and behold, I was called
as the first counselor in the stake
presidency in South Salt Lake.
It was a remarkable experience that I really appreciate
and I'm so glad I had the opportunity.
It, I actually only served in the stake presidency
for two years of the, the nine, uh, that that is expected.
Uh, we just, uh, got two two packed into our condo
that we were living in, and so we moved outta
that stake and was released.
But during those two years,
I got a new perspective about being in a stake presidency,
kinda getting an idea of the things
that the stake president deals with
or a stake presidency deals with,
putting together stake conferences
and those types of things.
And so I thought it would be fun just from my
own personal experience.
Again, you can take it or leave it of some tips
that I would have for individuals starting in a stake
presidency or even being a stake president.
It might help you have a more positive experience
and also help those in your stake, uh,
have a more positive experiences with you as their leader.
So here we go. I have a list of eight points
and principles that I wanna discuss,
and we'll go through each one of them
and maybe by the end I'll have a bonus, one
or two that I can share.
Or in the midst of this, I'll, I'll tack on some, uh,
additional principles and things.
So the first principle for any new stake president out there
is lead the leaders not the stake.
Now that sounds weird. Let me explain.
First of all, there's, I remember this pressure
of going from a bishop role where I felt like I was,
you know, in the trenches with the members.
I was connecting on a personal level
with so many in my ward.
I, I knew the intimate problems of so many
families in my ward and they were oftentimes relying on me
or coming to me for counsel or perspective.
And then I'm in the state presidency
and the feeling is that, well,
it's just like being a bishop,
but it's just sort of on a different scale.
Then I felt overwhelmed here I am not just facing a ward
of a couple hundred people, a stake of 5,000 plus people.
And I at first had this pressure of I need
to learn the names
and get engaged with different families and visit them.
And I soon became exhausted with this, with this desire
because it was impossible.
I'm only a man, I'm only immortal.
I can't be a bishop to an entire stake.
That's why they have each a bishop, right?
So instead, I reframed my purpose through a lot of prayer
and, and contemplation that I thought, well,
maybe I can't be a bishop figure
or a mentor to the entire stake
and every individual in that stake,
but I can be a leader, a mentor, a guide
to the leaders in the stake.
So when I visited a ward,
I wasn't necessarily worried about shaking every hand in
the, in the chapel and making sure every family knew me
or that I knew them,
but I did spend a little extra time with the bishop,
with the bishop members, maybe members of the ward council,
the Elco president.
I got to know them, their, their family dynamics, their,
their employment and
and things like that so that I could connect with them
and help them be the bishop to their portion of the stake.
And it was such a more fulfilling,
and I suddenly felt like I was in a calling I can actually
do without this pressure of trying to lead
and connect with 5,000 plus people.
And this led to me taking just a quick moment,
maybe stepping into a bishop's office, closing the door,
sitting down and saying, Bishop, like,
what are you losing sleep over?
How can I help you? What perspectives or
or what things are you struggling with
that maybe I could add some perspective to, right?
And we'd also make it fun.
I remember a wonderful, uh, you know,
we'd have these semi-regular bishop council meetings, right?
And there's this one that we were, that was coming up
and my stake president had a remarkable
idea, said, you know what?
Let's take all the bishops bowling.
And so we sent out an email
and we notified them that for this bishop's council,
when you come, come in, you know, street clothes
and just casual dress,
and then we all piled into each other's cars
and we drove down the street to the local bowling alley
and we bowled for an hour.
Now there's all this pressure as a stake presidency to get
to the, get to the work, right?
Like, what, what needs to be done?
What activities are coming up? What questions do you have?
Let's handle the business at hand.
However, it really shifted a dynamic when we could just take
a week and go bowling with all the bishops in the stake.
And we have awesome pictures
of us all together at the bowling alley.
And nobody knew that this was a group of bishops.
We were just a, a group of brothers, you know,
doing some bowling and
that they felt like they could relax around us.
They, they saw us more as, as mentors
and friends, so that when we did get to the business,
they were more open, they're more willing to lean in
and share their, their authentic concerns with us
because we had taken the time to get
to know them on a really neutral playing field
or a a, a more friendly playing field
like the bowling alley.
Alright, the next principle is
to consider mandatory stake programs and themes,
or one comment I received on this topic read like this,
the problem with stake callings is
that they call really good people to fill them.
Really good people usually want
to get really good things done so they plan
and execute a bunch of really good things,
leaving all the world leaders in their wake.
So here's the thing, like I, I love how this is framed.
If you're a brand new stake president,
you're probably a pretty smart individual.
You've probably got a lot of ideas, right?
You've probably been a bishop before.
We're in a bishop break, and you saw
things that worked on that level.
So why not bring it to the stake level, right?
And then the temptation is, is great.
You get in these council meetings and come a lot of ideas,
and those ideas turn into programs or efforts or themes
or, uh, or projects.
So suddenly you may have this great idea of
what if we got the entire stake together
and index an entire stake as a stake, right?
That'll build unity, right?
Or we're gonna have this theme
and we're gonna make sure the whole
stake is focused on the theme.
We'll present it in a state conference,
and then we'll tell all the bishops to work it into each one
of their sacrament meetings.
Now, this is tempting, right?
However, for a lot of bishops
or rewards, it can feel like,
it can feel like micromanaging at times.
Here I am a bishop doing my thing,
and now the stake wants me to focus on this other thing.
What about what I see or my perspectives
or my themes that I wanna put in place?
And then there can suddenly be this tension between the ward
and the stake with this ambivalence as the bishop shows up
to meet with the stake president, feeling like, uh,
he's just gonna gimme a list of things I need to do
or improve or tell me how to, how to run things on my ward.
And so my encouragement from what I learned is figuring out
how you best can get out of the way of the, the ward leaders
and just simply be in that mentor role
or in that encouraging role.
So instead of coming up with a stake theme,
maybe make sure the bishop knows,
or the Bishop Ricks know how to come up with a war theme
or the relief society presidents know how to do that, right?
Anytime maybe that stake president walks into a meeting
with ward leaders, he should be mumbling under his breath.
How can I get out of their way?
How can I get outta their way? I gotta figure this out.
I don't want to be a bottleneck
or the micromanager in these areas.
Help them use their own keys to execute the work
and to gather Israel in their own wards
or to inspire in their own ways,
through their own revelation.
And you'll be seen as a mentor that they can turn
to when they do run into problems
or when they do need ideas, they're ready to ask you
for them and open up to them.
So really avoid these stake programs
and themes that put too much pressure on the,
on the local wards, and they don't get a chance
to execute their own vision on their own.
All right? The third principle is how to lighten the load
through over communication.
Because here's what happens. The stake presidency can
sometimes live in a really black box
and nobody knows what's happening in that black box.
Will they show up to my sacra meeting this Sunday?
Like out of the blue? Or what person are they going
to be pulling outta my ward into a state calling?
Are the ward goals and state goals the same?
Well, I don't know. I guess
we'll find out at the next meeting.
Sometimes the ward leaders don't know what's happening
behind the curtain as far as
what the stake leaders are doing.
So the more you can communicate that,
the better they'll have a heads up
and be better service to you as the stake presidency
and you'll be better service to them as the ward leaders.
So really look for opportunities to over communicate.
And here's one example of what that looks like.
When we were serving in a stake presidency,
we took time every week after
or during our stake presidency meeting
to start formulating an email that would go out
to Bishop Ricks in the stake.
And the first thing we covered in that email is
where we would be on Sunday.
So every ward, you got a heads up whether an individual in
the stake presidency would be showing up in their ward.
And bishops really appreciated this heads up.
Now obviously there's some last minute changes
and it didn't always happen like that.
Or sometimes I, I did pop into a specific sacrament meeting
that they weren't expecting me at,
but they really appreciated just knowing
where the state presidency was headed.
We would also communicate things in that email,
like state callings that we're trying to fill
and ideas of individuals that, uh, we'd be open to
who could feel that state calling.
And just knowing that certain callings were being vacated
and and assigned, and
that really helped keep the bishops on the same page
and not be surprised by certain callings.
And we put in their upcoming activities, upcoming meetings,
and really just information items
that we could cover in an email so
that the next time we met together,
it didn't feel like a meeting
that could have been a really good email, right?
We've all been in those meetings.
So don't save information for that next meeting.
Just put it in an email that regularly goes out once a week
and they'll be brought up to speed.
And then by the time you get to those meetings,
you can focus on more spiritual dynamics or questions
and something that's really gonna feed the group rather than
just downloading information in the context of a meeting.
All the fourth principle,
it may help some stake presidents out there is
minimizing the targets.
Now, let me explain this dynamic
that you may be familiar with.
A stake president every so often, every month
or every quarter goes
to what's called a coordinating council meeting.
Right now that stake president walks there in there
with a a, an area authority that's usually there,
other stake presidents.
And that area authority begins
to download information to them, right?
Maybe expectations,
some things coming from the general authorities or church,
and they lay it all out there for the bishop
or for the stake presidents
and the stake presidents are taking notes, right?
So they walk stake, presidents walk outta that meeting
with a whole bunch of targets, things that need to change,
things that need to improve, and what do they do?
They walk all those things metaphorically
to the next bishop's meeting, right?
And they download all this, they dump it all on the bishops,
all these things that need to happen.
And then typically those bishops take that
and they go to their word council
and dump all this information that needs
to happen right now.
I don't wanna minimize the importance of a lot
of these things that may be be happening in a,
a coordinating council meeting.
And I'm sure they, there's,
they're very important to some extent.
However, as a leader,
you cannot overwhelm your people, right?
Especially in a church setting where the church isn't built
to overwhelm people.
The church is built to bless people, lead 'em
to the covenant path and
to covenants that will bless their life.
It's overwhelmed that the stake president fills from the
coordinating council and dumping it
downstream to the other leaders.
It just stimulates more and more overwhelm,
and then that overwhelm will spill over to the culture
of your ward, to the point
that even ward members feel overwhelmed.
They don't feel redemption when they attend church.
They just feel like there's more
and more to do and to get done.
So it takes a very mature leader, even at
that state present level, to gather these targets
that you've been given and say, we can't do it all.
However, we'll focus on the ones that are in line
with our vision, our purpose, and what we're trying to do.
And those ones, I'll be very intentional of passing them on
to bishops and to then pass them on to the rewards.
If you overwhelm your leaders, you're going
to have an overwhelm stake, and that's no bueno.
Now, for state president, this may lead
to some awkward conversations with an area authority
who really wants them to pass around these targets.
But this is the crucial reason for vision in a ward.
It has to fit your vision.
We cannot overwhelm people in this regard. All right?
The fifth principle is a little bit outside the norm,
and it is called shepherding the lost.
One thing that state presidents
or state presidencies engage with is those
who maybe have been, who've lost their membership
or who've gone through some type
of membership council in the repentance process.
Now, these membership councils often can kind
of feel like just one more thing on the
list of things to do, right?
We're we're dealing with individuals
who are maybe feeling rejected from their church
or rejected from their faith community.
And we, it needs to be handled really intentionally, right?
And I no doubt there's stake leaders across the world
who do a remarkable job at this.
However, I've heard from too many people
that once an individual who has lost their membership,
they kind of feel like they're put on the back burner
or the membership council led to this result,
and that will last for 12 months.
And so let's check in from time to time
and just see how you're doing.
However, nobody else in the stake knows this.
They can feel so alone.
And so it's an opportunity for stake leaders,
stake presidency members,
or a stake president to really engage with this individual
and be their mentor during that time.
Too often I hear state presidents give the assignment
to the individual who's maybe lost their membership
to be in touch to set the next appointment.
It should be an proactive process of reaching out to
that person, making sure they're not buried in chain,
making sure they have the support they need,
bringing in additional help, bringing in community,
and helping shepherd that person down the path.
Too often it can sort of feel like a probationary,
legalistic process when it's not.
Or I've heard individuals just sort of in the dark
with their repentance process.
What happens next? Okay, he wants to meet
with me every few weeks, but, uh, do I set that appointment?
Do, then why doesn't he reach out to me?
And, and they can feel like it's all
on them in this process.
But what a blessing it would be
to have a proactive stake president
and leader who's reaching out maybe weekly, every other week
through a text, through a phone call,
and is very intentional about how they are shepherding
that person who they desperately want to return to the fold.
So I would love to change that stigma that
so many leaders have of sort of forgetting the person
or seeing it as one more thing in their, that on their,
to-do list that Yeah, down the road we'll do that.
Or they get to their year closer to their, you know,
that six month mark or the year mark,
and they think, okay, something's gonna happen soon.
Right? Right. And they don't hear from their
leader and it takes them to do that.
Now I realize you have so much to do in these callings
that uh, it can be looked over,
but this should be a paramount shepherding opportunity
for individuals to hear regularly from their leader who's
gone through this membership council with them
to encourage them and touch base with them.
Don't just make it a six week, you know, dentist appointment
that just, yeah, it needs to happen.
We'll touch base. How you doing? Sounds good. All right.
Keep working. No, like become their friend.
Be connected and encourage them.
And if you don't have the bandwidth to do it, you need
to bring in community to assist you in that
and make sure they feel that support.
Chase them, pursue them.
Leave the 90 and nine and go after that lost sheep
because it is well worth your time.
Alright, the sixth principle
to possibly help a brand new stake president is empowering
the Stake Relief Society president.
Now I've heard mixed results from this.
Some people say, oh man, my,
our stake release site president already really busy.
Others say, well, I don't know.
A lot of times she's not sure what to do
or how to connect with the award release site president
or what her or her role even is.
And I would say the more you can empower
that stake release site president, the more it's going
to help you, uh,
have a positive experience in your role as a leader.
And so bring her in
to those state presidency meetings, right?
There's often a clerk there
and there's often a, a executive secretary.
There's no reason you couldn't bring in a state relief
society president more regularly, if not weekly,
to those state presidency meetings
and discuss things, get her perspective on things, right?
Engage her in the experience
and make sure that she has plenty to do.
'cause I have had heard from many Stake Relief Society
presidents that they're kinda lost, they're not sure what
to do and uh, they kind of meander around, show up
to this ward and that ward and their stake
and yeah, sure, they're connecting with the, the,
the Ward Relief Society presidents,
but they're sometimes lost.
So inviting him into the core of,
of what's going on in the state can really be a blessing
and give you additional perspective.
It's gonna help you, uh, succeed in your calling.
And this really doesn't need to be proactive effort
because the handbook really only gives two general
directions as far as the Sacred Release Society president,
which is meet with a stake presidency once a month,
instruct award release society presidencies on their
responsibility, and that's it.
So there's a lot of, of, of wiggle room in there
to really have a dynamic experience
and encourage that release society president
to really jump in and have influence.
Alright, the seventh point being a stake president has
to deal with the stake president's wife.
No doubt. When an individual is called
to the stake president, it is the family that is called
to the stake president, especially the wife
of the stake president.
This can be a tricky time over nine years, where the wife
of the stake president can somewhat feel lost, right?
Their husband is off running something in the stake on
Sunday, she's sitting alone.
It's even different than being the bishop's wife,
where at least you see your, your husband at church
or there he is on the stand.
And that's not the always the case
with state presidency's wife.
So invite her into the experience.
And I saw this in many ways
during my time in the state presidency where I saw the wives
of the state presidency members come together
and even sort of have this, have their own type
of presidency that wasn't an official type of presidency.
And they would reach out to the wives of the bishops
or the wives of the members of the bishoprick,
and they'd have dinners or just get togethers, socials.
They would often take individual wives out to lunch
and just really connect with them on a friendly basis so
that they would be encouraged in that unofficial role.
Being in church leadership is remarkable.
You've witnessed miracles almost on a weekly basis.
Or you go after the church
and you experience healing
as you watch the savior step into the lives of individuals
who are struggling so much while at the same time your wife
may be home with the young kids or with the teenagers
and just dealing with that real life and that context
and missing out on these miracles.
And so you may come home refreshed, energized
by the spiritual experience you
had, and your wife isn't there.
And so by inviting her into that experience as much
as possible, inviting her to shepherd the wives of others,
inviting her to engage with you with visits
or at some level, will do a remarkable job
of not only feeding your marriage,
but helping you be a better leader.
And I'll point you to an interview actually did
with my wife, where we talked about her time
as the bishop's wife
and the dynamics were there, the tension at times,
the the struggle and the blessings that came from that.
And so I'll link to that in the show notes so
that you can listen to that as you wish.
And the eighth and final principle
or suggestion I have for new stake presidents is this
concept of a three year reset.
Because nine years is a long, long time, right?
Almost a decade of your life dedicated this
role as state president.
And so it can go really stale after a few years.
You sort of get into the, the rhythm of things.
You, you know, you've done this thing six times
and now you'll just do it a seventh time.
And here we go. We, you know, what's the,
what was the agenda for last year?
Let's just do that again, but a little different.
And so you can really miss out on that refreshing energy
that comes with a new stake president
because when a new stake president is called
that year is actually everybody's in
the presidency's on fire.
They feel the energy, they're in this role,
they wanna make a difference, and here they go.
And so being intentional about having some form of reset
after maybe three years so that you feel like
that new stake president, even if you aren't technically
that new stake president, that may look like
shifting some callings up, right?
Maybe getting a new counselor, moving one of your counselors
to another role that would help there.
Or just the intention of of having a retreat between you
and your counselors or your, your state council
of going somewhere and refreshing recharging
and saying, we're starting over
anything we've done in the past, we're
gonna look at it differently now.
What can we do to have a refreshing reset?
And that'll keep the energy going
and help you sustain yourself through those long nine years.
And, uh, it will bring new vision to the stake
that maybe things
that worked in year one don't really work in year five.
And so yeah, you need to reapproach, reassess and restart.
All right, those are just my ideas from my experience.
You may agree with some, you may disagree with others,
but I would love to hear, uh,
what your experience is when maybe you've
served in a state presidency.
But I would love to hear your ideas of what worked for you.
If you've been in a state presidency
or any other type of leadership calling, you can actually go
to the Leading Saints community where we have a,
a conversation that's already going on about these tips
and experience that I've shared.
Many people disagreeing with me, but I love it.
I'd love to hear opposing views and new ideas.
So go to that Leading Saints community, I'll link to it
and love to hear your opinion as well.
And don't forget to subscribe
to the Leading Saints newsletter where you get the,
the freshest thought or perspective that's on my mind
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And we get a great conversation going. Alright.
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That concludes this episode of the Leading Saints podcast.
We'd love to hear from you about
your questions or thoughts or comments.
You can either leave a comment on the, uh, post related
to this episode@leadingsaints.org
or go to leading saints.org/contact
and send us your perspective or questions.
If there's other episodes
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And we would love for you to share this
with any individual you think this would apply to,
especially maybe individuals in your ward council
or other leaders that you may know
who would really appreciate the
perspectives that we discussed.
And remember, grab your copy of my new book,
is God Disappointed In Me on Amazon
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- It came as a result of the position of leadership,
which was imposed upon us by the God of Heaven,
who brought forth a restoration of the gospel
of Jesus Christ.
And when the Declaration was made concerning the own
and only true in living church upon the face of the earth,
we were immediately put in a position of loneliness.
The loneliness of leadership from which we cannot
shrink nor run away.
And to which we must face up with boldness and courage
and ability.