1 00:00:00,095 --> 00:00:00,135 - 2 00:00:03,675 --> 00:00:05,655 - How do you help someone tell their spouse 3 00:00:05,885 --> 00:00:08,255 that they have secretly been viewing pornography? 4 00:00:08,915 --> 00:00:10,935 Wow. These are tough situations. 5 00:00:11,265 --> 00:00:12,775 Thankfully, one of my favorite 6 00:00:12,875 --> 00:00:15,215 and most effective therapists, Jeff Reer, 7 00:00:15,475 --> 00:00:18,615 put together a presentation about disclosing betrayal. 8 00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:22,895 Jeff explains how disclosing betrayal can make recovery 9 00:00:22,995 --> 00:00:25,655 and repentance so much more difficult if it 10 00:00:25,655 --> 00:00:26,895 isn't handled correctly. 11 00:00:27,365 --> 00:00:30,335 This isn't a rip the bandaid off quickly type of situation. 12 00:00:30,685 --> 00:00:32,495 With a better understanding of betrayal, 13 00:00:32,495 --> 00:00:35,935 church leaders can be a strong resource in helping couples 14 00:00:36,335 --> 00:00:38,735 navigate the awful effects of pornography usage. 15 00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:42,695 You can watch Jeff's entire presentation at no cost in the 16 00:00:42,695 --> 00:00:44,295 Liberating Saints Virtual Library. 17 00:00:44,595 --> 00:00:47,135 Simply go to leading saints.org/fourteen, 18 00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:50,015 and you can sign up for 14 days of free access 19 00:00:50,195 --> 00:00:52,615 to Jeff's presentation and the entire library. 20 00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:54,495 It's one of my favorite interviews. 21 00:00:58,235 --> 00:01:01,295 So my name is Kurt Frankham, and I am the founder 22 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,415 and executive director of Leading Saints, 23 00:01:03,435 --> 00:01:06,135 and obviously the host of the Leading Saints Podcast. 24 00:01:06,395 --> 00:01:09,935 Now, I started Leading Saints back in 2010. 25 00:01:09,935 --> 00:01:12,735 It was just a hobby blog, and it grew from there. 26 00:01:12,835 --> 00:01:16,575 By the time, uh, 2014 came around, we started the podcast, 27 00:01:16,835 --> 00:01:18,215 and that's really when it got some, 28 00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:20,015 uh, traction and took off. 29 00:01:20,075 --> 00:01:24,455 Uh, 2016, we became a 5 0 1 C3 nonprofit organization, 30 00:01:24,595 --> 00:01:26,175 and we've been growing ever since. 31 00:01:26,195 --> 00:01:28,535 And now I get the opportunity of interviewing 32 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:31,335 and talking with remarkable people all over the world. 33 00:01:31,715 --> 00:01:34,575 Now, this is a segment we do on the Leading Saints podcast 34 00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:38,335 called How I Lead, and we reach out to everyday leaders. 35 00:01:38,335 --> 00:01:41,615 They're not experts, gurus, authors, PhDs. 36 00:01:41,615 --> 00:01:43,575 They're just everyday leaders who've been asked 37 00:01:43,595 --> 00:01:45,815 to serve in a specific leadership calling. 38 00:01:45,835 --> 00:01:48,255 And we simply ask them, how is it that you lead? 39 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:50,295 And they go through some remarkable principles 40 00:01:50,295 --> 00:01:53,015 that should be in a book that should be behind a PhD. 41 00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,695 They're usually that good. 42 00:01:55,075 --> 00:01:57,055 And, uh, we just talk about, uh, sharing 43 00:01:57,055 --> 00:01:58,135 what the other guy's doing. 44 00:01:58,435 --> 00:02:00,975 And I remember being a leader just simply wanting to know, 45 00:02:01,165 --> 00:02:02,695 okay, I know what I'm trying to do, 46 00:02:02,715 --> 00:02:03,815 but what's the other guy doing? 47 00:02:03,815 --> 00:02:06,375 What's working for him? And so that's why every Wednesday 48 00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:09,575 or so we publish these how I lead segments to share. 49 00:02:39,275 --> 00:02:42,135 So in this How I Lead episode, we're headed down to Texas 50 00:02:42,555 --> 00:02:45,815 to talk with Aaron Binowski, who is a four time 51 00:02:46,725 --> 00:02:47,895 Elko President . 52 00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,935 I say that as if it's like a four time Oscar winner, 53 00:02:50,955 --> 00:02:54,015 or a four time Super Bowl winner, uh, winning reality. 54 00:02:54,155 --> 00:02:55,655 You know, these are, these are callings 55 00:02:55,795 --> 00:02:57,175 and, uh, not achievements, but 56 00:02:57,175 --> 00:03:00,045 nonetheless, some great experience that Aaron has to share. 57 00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:02,325 And, uh, just through the listen for the, 58 00:03:02,365 --> 00:03:03,885 a few concepts here, the, the idea 59 00:03:03,905 --> 00:03:05,445 of approaching an elders quo, 60 00:03:05,925 --> 00:03:08,685 shifting an elders quorums culture through simple, 61 00:03:08,815 --> 00:03:09,965 thoughtful questions. 62 00:03:10,025 --> 00:03:12,605 Now, Aaron has a few that you can maybe sample and use and, 63 00:03:12,605 --> 00:03:15,125 and try out in your own Elders Quo or Relief Society, 64 00:03:15,145 --> 00:03:17,285 or Deacon's Quorum, or whatever it be. 65 00:03:17,585 --> 00:03:18,725 But, uh, just sitting down, 66 00:03:18,725 --> 00:03:21,525 really thinking about some thoughtful questions, it's gonna 67 00:03:22,405 --> 00:03:24,925 stimulate some further ministry, some further connection. 68 00:03:25,265 --> 00:03:27,805 And, uh, Aaron did that has, has, has been doing that. 69 00:03:27,805 --> 00:03:30,645 Great. And then, uh, just his approach to Elders Quorum, 70 00:03:30,785 --> 00:03:33,245 really relying on Elders Quorum 71 00:03:33,245 --> 00:03:35,285 as a council rather than just, you know, 72 00:03:35,285 --> 00:03:37,285 hurrying on the, the conference talk. 73 00:03:37,705 --> 00:03:42,325 And then, uh, how his bishop enabled him, uh, to, to, 74 00:03:42,385 --> 00:03:44,045 to lead in this world 75 00:03:44,045 --> 00:03:46,285 where the Bishop Rick is focused on the 76 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:47,325 youth primarily, right? 77 00:03:47,345 --> 00:03:50,405 And so that, that means that an Elders Corps president, 78 00:03:50,405 --> 00:03:53,125 a Relief Society president needs to, uh, needs 79 00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:54,925 to feel enabled to handle 80 00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:57,125 what we call the adult issues, right? 81 00:03:57,505 --> 00:03:59,725 And, uh, and I gotta throw this in here. 82 00:03:59,745 --> 00:04:01,565 The equally yolked, the elders quo 83 00:04:01,665 --> 00:04:03,605 and the Leaf Society equally yolked. 84 00:04:03,605 --> 00:04:05,045 That was a powerful principle as well. 85 00:04:05,105 --> 00:04:07,405 So this is a great example why we do these, 86 00:04:07,405 --> 00:04:09,765 how I lead interviews to learn what the other guy 87 00:04:09,765 --> 00:04:11,445 or gal is doing, uh, 88 00:04:11,445 --> 00:04:13,005 in different different part of the world. 89 00:04:13,065 --> 00:04:15,845 So, here's my interview with Erin Beski. 90 00:04:45,255 --> 00:04:47,605 Aaron Beski, welcome to the Leading Saints podcast. 91 00:04:48,225 --> 00:04:49,685 - Thanks for having me. Glad to be here. 92 00:04:50,035 --> 00:04:52,045 - Awesome. So just, uh, some quick, uh, 93 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,445 a fire round of questions here. 94 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,005 Uh, where, so where do you live? 95 00:04:56,585 --> 00:04:59,405 - So I live in Frisco, Texas, which is just north of Dallas. 96 00:04:59,435 --> 00:05:00,525 It's a suburb north of Dallas. 97 00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:03,605 - Love it. So Dallas is your Temple district? It 98 00:05:03,605 --> 00:05:04,605 - Is. 99 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:05,005 Dallas is our Temple district, 100 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,405 and we are actually in the Prosper Texas state. 101 00:05:08,025 --> 00:05:09,885 And, uh, the Prosper Texas Temple has 102 00:05:09,885 --> 00:05:11,325 announced, uh, last October. 103 00:05:11,425 --> 00:05:12,365 So we're excited for the 104 00:05:12,765 --> 00:05:13,725 announcement of where that's gonna be 105 00:05:13,725 --> 00:05:14,605 located. We're still waiting. 106 00:05:14,985 --> 00:05:16,845 - That's great. And then, uh, what do you do for work? 107 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,005 - So, I am a healthcare consultant. 108 00:05:19,105 --> 00:05:20,525 So I work with large health systems 109 00:05:20,985 --> 00:05:22,325 and help them with their strategies. 110 00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:24,085 - Nice. And uh, how long have you been 111 00:05:24,085 --> 00:05:25,165 listening to Leading Saints? 112 00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:26,925 - Oh, for several years now. 113 00:05:26,925 --> 00:05:29,165 I've enjoyed your content for quite a while, uh, all 114 00:05:29,165 --> 00:05:30,485 through when I was a bishop and, and, 115 00:05:30,485 --> 00:05:31,965 and elsewhere. You guys do a great job 116 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,085 - And currently an Elder Corps president. 117 00:05:34,225 --> 00:05:36,485 How long has that, uh, how long has that calling been gone? 118 00:05:36,665 --> 00:05:38,725 - That's been just, just a little over a month now. 119 00:05:38,785 --> 00:05:40,725 You know, it's pretty new. Oh, really? Uh, yeah. 120 00:05:40,745 --> 00:05:42,765 But, you know, it's, it's actually been interesting 121 00:05:42,765 --> 00:05:46,285 because I'm in the same ward I was bishop in four years ago. 122 00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,725 Mm-Hmm. . So, uh, I'm getting 123 00:05:47,725 --> 00:05:48,925 to Sert in another capacity 124 00:05:48,925 --> 00:05:50,525 after being in the stake for a little while. 125 00:05:50,705 --> 00:05:53,365 And, uh, it's been fun. It's, it's been really interesting. 126 00:05:53,675 --> 00:05:56,885 - Yeah. That's awesome. So, uh, you wrote an article called, 127 00:05:57,105 --> 00:06:00,045 uh, ministering is Love, uh, for the, 128 00:06:00,345 --> 00:06:01,485 uh, for leading Saints. 129 00:06:01,485 --> 00:06:03,205 Many people may not realize that we, uh, 130 00:06:03,205 --> 00:06:06,085 every week we publish written articles, not just podcasts. 131 00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:09,205 Uh, many of them are, uh, written by, you know, people 132 00:06:09,315 --> 00:06:10,925 that like you that are just out there. 133 00:06:10,925 --> 00:06:12,645 You're not necessarily officially connected 134 00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:14,765 to leading Saints, but you're a leader want to contribute. 135 00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:17,005 And you wrote a great article about ministering, 136 00:06:17,065 --> 00:06:18,325 and so, uh, we'll link to that. 137 00:06:18,325 --> 00:06:20,005 People should check it out. But I thought, man, 138 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:22,245 that would make for a great how I lead interview 139 00:06:22,665 --> 00:06:25,885 and exploring your experience in leadership, particularly in 140 00:06:25,945 --> 00:06:27,165 as an Elders Corps president. 141 00:06:27,265 --> 00:06:29,725 So, um, where's a good jumping off point 142 00:06:29,865 --> 00:06:31,045 around this, this topic? 143 00:06:31,205 --> 00:06:32,925 'cause ministering is just on every, 144 00:06:33,105 --> 00:06:34,685 on every elders co president 145 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,005 and really studied president's mind. 146 00:06:36,505 --> 00:06:37,605 - It, it is. And, and, 147 00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:40,125 and it should be, you know, it should be fairly natural. 148 00:06:40,305 --> 00:06:42,965 You know, maybe a could jumping off point is this, is that, 149 00:06:43,345 --> 00:06:45,045 you know, so this isn't my first rodeo, 150 00:06:45,225 --> 00:06:47,205 so this is the fourth time I've been called 151 00:06:47,225 --> 00:06:48,365 as a elders co president. 152 00:06:48,665 --> 00:06:50,405 You know, the first time was in college, right? 153 00:06:50,405 --> 00:06:52,685 So you're, you know, you're at, I'm at BYU 154 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,005 and, you know, most of your activities are helping people 155 00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:56,085 move in and out of apartments. 156 00:06:56,205 --> 00:06:57,685 , I remember that was a lot of what we did. 157 00:06:57,745 --> 00:06:58,965 You know, uh, of course, 158 00:06:58,995 --> 00:07:00,765 home teaching was, was a lot of what we did. 159 00:07:01,305 --> 00:07:04,565 My second time was in a ward, uh, in south of Houston. 160 00:07:04,985 --> 00:07:07,485 So this ward is really interesting in that it was a, as kind 161 00:07:07,485 --> 00:07:09,005 of a ward that had been combined. 162 00:07:09,005 --> 00:07:11,045 There was a Spanish branch that had been combined. 163 00:07:11,505 --> 00:07:14,045 It was an area I was a, at the time, a chemical engineer. 164 00:07:14,045 --> 00:07:15,125 So we had some professionals, 165 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:17,685 but then we had a lot of laborers that were in this kind 166 00:07:17,685 --> 00:07:20,125 of area of the city that, you know, was kind of a, uh, 167 00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,685 you kind of had a more Hispanic bent. 168 00:07:21,685 --> 00:07:24,165 And so it was kind of a really neat time, uh, to learn. 169 00:07:24,345 --> 00:07:25,965 It was one of those wards where you had, you know, 170 00:07:25,965 --> 00:07:28,325 every home teacher had like 13 people on their list 171 00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:29,845 because we had so many folks 172 00:07:29,965 --> 00:07:31,085 that we didn't even know who they were. 173 00:07:31,105 --> 00:07:32,645 And so, very unique time. 174 00:07:33,105 --> 00:07:35,845 The next time was in a very large ward here in Frisco. 175 00:07:36,065 --> 00:07:37,765 You know, the ward had probably 600 people. 176 00:07:37,955 --> 00:07:39,325 We'd had people moving in every week. 177 00:07:39,345 --> 00:07:41,445 It was just kind of this time of high growth here. 178 00:07:42,065 --> 00:07:44,165 Uh, and so, you know, as I was called this time 179 00:07:44,165 --> 00:07:47,165 after having served as bishop, uh, in this same ward, 180 00:07:47,845 --> 00:07:49,565 I been the thing, okay, so what's different? 181 00:07:49,705 --> 00:07:51,805 You know, you know, things have changed, 182 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,285 especially in the last, you know, uh, four 183 00:07:54,285 --> 00:07:56,165 or five years since President Nelson was called. 184 00:07:56,665 --> 00:07:58,485 And I really wanted to put some thought into 185 00:07:58,485 --> 00:08:01,765 what would be different about, you know, ministry now, 186 00:08:01,765 --> 00:08:04,645 not home teaching, and how would I go about doing that? 187 00:08:05,425 --> 00:08:07,125 Uh, and it's interesting when you go 188 00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:09,535 to the church handbook, right? 189 00:08:09,535 --> 00:08:12,695 In the very first part on ministering, it talks about the, 190 00:08:12,695 --> 00:08:14,615 these two laws of, of love, right? 191 00:08:14,805 --> 00:08:16,055 Love God and love neighbor. 192 00:08:16,475 --> 00:08:18,455 And it talks about ministering being a way 193 00:08:18,475 --> 00:08:19,535 to live those laws. 194 00:08:19,595 --> 00:08:22,015 And it, it really struck me that, you know, I'm a believer 195 00:08:22,015 --> 00:08:25,335 that sometimes the most simple answers are the best ones. 196 00:08:25,915 --> 00:08:27,295 And, and as I kind of pondered 197 00:08:27,295 --> 00:08:29,215 and prayed about it, you know, how would you know, 198 00:08:29,235 --> 00:08:30,655 how should we approach this in our word? 199 00:08:30,655 --> 00:08:32,175 And, and by the way, the previous presidency 200 00:08:32,175 --> 00:08:33,375 did a great job with everything. 201 00:08:33,795 --> 00:08:36,335 Uh, but as you know, as new leaders are called, you tend 202 00:08:36,335 --> 00:08:37,615 to maybe take a different, 203 00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:38,935 you have a different take on things. 204 00:08:39,455 --> 00:08:40,895 I just had this really strong impression that 205 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,975 that should be the focus, just one word, love, you know, 206 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,495 love god and love neighbor, and, 207 00:08:45,515 --> 00:08:47,175 and how, you know, how should that show up? 208 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,855 You know, functionally, how does that work? 209 00:08:49,035 --> 00:08:51,375 You know, how do we get, you know, ministers to do this? 210 00:08:52,315 --> 00:08:56,885 Um, and as I thought about how, how, you know, our, 211 00:08:56,885 --> 00:08:58,685 the brothers in our ward would visit their families. 212 00:08:58,965 --> 00:09:00,845 I thought, how can we make this really simple for them? 213 00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:02,965 You know, in what way could we show up, right? 214 00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:05,885 With this authentic way of, of loving both God and, 215 00:09:06,025 --> 00:09:07,125 and, and our neighbor? 216 00:09:07,745 --> 00:09:10,045 And I thought, well, um, we ought 217 00:09:10,045 --> 00:09:11,405 to keep things pretty simple, right? 218 00:09:11,925 --> 00:09:13,125 I, I think if we, if we go 219 00:09:13,285 --> 00:09:14,965 and we ask questions to the families, 220 00:09:15,425 --> 00:09:16,885 we should ask them a very simple question. 221 00:09:17,275 --> 00:09:20,245 Like, how is your family showing love for God and neighbor? 222 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,125 And then they could share, and then the minister could ask, 223 00:09:23,225 --> 00:09:24,485 do you feel loved in our ward? 224 00:09:24,705 --> 00:09:26,445 And in what ways could we show you love? 225 00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:27,885 In what ways could we show love to you? 226 00:09:28,425 --> 00:09:29,765 Now, that's a little different than maybe 227 00:09:29,765 --> 00:09:30,965 the old school way of doing things. 228 00:09:31,185 --> 00:09:33,045 You know, I like the last three times I did it 229 00:09:33,045 --> 00:09:34,925 where you say, Hey, what do you need? You have the 230 00:09:35,085 --> 00:09:36,805 - Responses, response, anything we can do for you? Is 231 00:09:36,805 --> 00:09:37,845 - There anything we can do for you? 232 00:09:37,905 --> 00:09:39,765 Oh, what can you need? And the answer's pretty simple. 233 00:09:40,025 --> 00:09:42,165 No, I don't know. Yeah, we're good. Don't need anything. 234 00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:44,285 Yeah. But as I tried that out, actually, 235 00:09:44,285 --> 00:09:46,285 when I was in talking with my counselors when they were 236 00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:47,445 first called, I actually did that with them, 237 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:48,925 asking them about their families. 238 00:09:49,225 --> 00:09:50,965 All of a sudden, these, you know, men 239 00:09:51,105 --> 00:09:52,925 who typically don't share feelings as you know, 240 00:09:53,115 --> 00:09:54,485 started talking to me about things 241 00:09:54,485 --> 00:09:55,645 that they were going on in their family, 242 00:09:55,645 --> 00:09:56,725 things about their children, 243 00:09:56,725 --> 00:09:57,965 things that were happening in their jobs. 244 00:09:58,585 --> 00:10:00,045 And I just had this realization 245 00:10:00,045 --> 00:10:02,325 that if we asked those questions, all 246 00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:04,205 of a sudden people started talking about 247 00:10:04,625 --> 00:10:05,885 things in a different way. 248 00:10:06,295 --> 00:10:07,405 Right? Um, 249 00:10:07,585 --> 00:10:09,965 and then, um, if you, if you recall there, 250 00:10:09,965 --> 00:10:12,565 there was a great talk by Elder Gong in the last conference, 251 00:10:12,705 --> 00:10:15,245 um, two conferences ago about ministering to the minister. 252 00:10:15,425 --> 00:10:16,605 - Yes. - Right? 253 00:10:16,745 --> 00:10:17,765 And I thought, well, you know, 254 00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:19,245 we've gotta do these ministering interviews, 255 00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,005 and we get to do those once a quarter. 256 00:10:21,435 --> 00:10:23,725 What if we ask those same question to those ministers, 257 00:10:23,825 --> 00:10:25,965 you know, in that interview, as part of us ministering 258 00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:28,125 to them as a presidency, ask them about their families. 259 00:10:28,365 --> 00:10:29,485 'cause this is our opportunity to 260 00:10:29,485 --> 00:10:30,525 find out about their families. 261 00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:33,485 And then we should just ask them two simple questions. 262 00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:35,725 One question is, what, in 263 00:10:35,725 --> 00:10:38,205 what ways did your families need love over the last quarter? 264 00:10:38,665 --> 00:10:40,365 Number two, how did you find ways 265 00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:41,685 to show those families love? 266 00:10:42,505 --> 00:10:43,565 Um, and when I did that, 267 00:10:43,565 --> 00:10:45,245 and they started talking about their ministering, 268 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,805 their current ministering assignments, all 269 00:10:46,805 --> 00:10:49,205 of a sudden these new kind of avenues started opening up. 270 00:10:49,205 --> 00:10:51,165 They started talking about their families in different ways. 271 00:10:51,705 --> 00:10:54,325 It became le it became less of a check the box kind 272 00:10:54,325 --> 00:10:57,685 of an exercise, and more of a really kind of a connect, kind 273 00:10:57,685 --> 00:10:59,445 of a connection type of exercise. 274 00:10:59,445 --> 00:11:00,845 Yeah. I was actually very surprised by it. 275 00:11:01,155 --> 00:11:02,925 - Yeah. Tell me, what, uh, like what 276 00:11:03,465 --> 00:11:05,445 do any typical answers come to mind? 277 00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:08,565 Um, 'cause this is a thing like, uh, this concept of love, 278 00:11:08,565 --> 00:11:11,285 obviously extremely important, uh, should be the core 279 00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:13,645 of all leadership activities and efforts and whatnot. 280 00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:16,965 Uh, but it's sometimes a bit, uh, abstract, right? 281 00:11:16,965 --> 00:11:18,645 Like, uh, that, that a lot 282 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,685 of times the advice leaders get give to one another is, oh, 283 00:11:21,745 --> 00:11:23,805 you just gotta love those that you lead. 284 00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:25,285 But like, I mean, what does that look like? 285 00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:27,765 You know, so what, what are the typical answers you hear? 286 00:11:27,785 --> 00:11:29,405 Or like, how are people wanting to be love 287 00:11:29,405 --> 00:11:30,725 or wanting to show love? 288 00:11:31,235 --> 00:11:32,525 - Yeah. No, that's a great question. 289 00:11:32,585 --> 00:11:33,845 So I'll give you one example. 290 00:11:34,305 --> 00:11:36,405 So when I asked one of my counselors, Hey, you know, 291 00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:37,525 how did you show your family's love? 292 00:11:37,525 --> 00:11:39,925 He said, you know, I've got this, this brother in the ward, 293 00:11:39,925 --> 00:11:42,885 and he's a great guy, by the way, very active, who said, 294 00:11:42,925 --> 00:11:45,125 I just don't want people coming by my house, . 295 00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:46,405 And he said, I've struggled. I struggled. 296 00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:47,765 Like, I don't know how to help him. 297 00:11:47,905 --> 00:11:49,725 He just says, don't come by. We're good. 298 00:11:49,725 --> 00:11:50,725 We're, we don't need anything. 299 00:11:51,385 --> 00:11:53,445 And I said, well, I know this brother really well. 300 00:11:53,515 --> 00:11:54,725 He's actually a really avid reader. 301 00:11:54,785 --> 00:11:56,005 For example, he loves to read. 302 00:11:56,305 --> 00:11:58,365 Why don't you try to start, you know, sh you know, 303 00:11:58,835 --> 00:11:59,725 sharing quotes 304 00:11:59,725 --> 00:12:00,845 that you like, because I know you're a reader. 305 00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:02,685 That may be a connection point for you. 306 00:12:03,225 --> 00:12:05,805 And, uh, and he said, I'll try that. And guess what? 307 00:12:05,805 --> 00:12:07,285 That started working. He said saying, he, 308 00:12:07,285 --> 00:12:08,485 he just started getting engagement 309 00:12:08,485 --> 00:12:11,085 because, so it, it really was about, you know, 310 00:12:11,285 --> 00:12:13,005 overcoming the barriers of kind of, 311 00:12:13,005 --> 00:12:14,885 how do I actually connect these brothers? 312 00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:16,725 Now, when we did this in the Quorum, 313 00:12:16,785 --> 00:12:18,005 we actually rolled this out. 314 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,565 We said, Hey, here's how we're gonna do things. 315 00:12:19,945 --> 00:12:21,125 It was kind of an amazing thing. 316 00:12:21,145 --> 00:12:23,245 So I asked the question, how did you, 317 00:12:23,505 --> 00:12:24,805 how did you show love for God today? 318 00:12:24,805 --> 00:12:27,285 Right? And so, one brother in the quorum said, 319 00:12:28,385 --> 00:12:30,165 he raised his hand and said, can I tell you something? 320 00:12:30,165 --> 00:12:31,325 That was a disaster this morning. 321 00:12:31,705 --> 00:12:32,725 We were trying to get to church. 322 00:12:32,755 --> 00:12:35,085 I've got all these little kids. Everybody was late. 323 00:12:35,085 --> 00:12:35,805 We're in the car. 324 00:12:36,035 --> 00:12:37,405 Like, everyone's kind of yelling at each other. 325 00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,365 We couldn't get there. So the way I showed heavenly father 326 00:12:39,365 --> 00:12:40,845 of love is I got my family 327 00:12:40,865 --> 00:12:43,445 to church without losing my mind this morning. , 328 00:12:44,115 --> 00:12:45,205 - I've been that dad before. 329 00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:47,205 - We've all been that dad, right? Yeah. 330 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,965 And what was kind of cool about it is 331 00:12:48,965 --> 00:12:50,005 we all kinda had a chuckle. 332 00:12:50,305 --> 00:12:51,765 And we said, actually, that's a great way. 333 00:12:51,965 --> 00:12:53,045 'cause today that's what you could do. 334 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,045 That's exactly what you could do today, right? 335 00:12:55,395 --> 00:12:56,405 Well, there was another brother, 336 00:12:56,405 --> 00:12:58,605 after we had finished our discussion, he came up 337 00:12:58,605 --> 00:13:00,845 to me afterwards and he said, Hey, can I talk to you, uh, 338 00:13:00,845 --> 00:13:02,845 president Binowski my family? 339 00:13:02,845 --> 00:13:05,005 And I just haven't felt connected in the Lord. 340 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,885 Uh, and for whatever reason, 341 00:13:06,945 --> 00:13:09,165 we don't feel like we have connections here or friends here. 342 00:13:09,425 --> 00:13:11,005 And I just had a moment to chat with him. 343 00:13:11,085 --> 00:13:12,365 I said, well, why do you think that is? 344 00:13:12,365 --> 00:13:13,725 And he kinda shared some things with me. 345 00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:16,325 He mentioned that his daughter's in the YSA, uh, branch, 346 00:13:16,345 --> 00:13:17,445 and she feels the same way. 347 00:13:18,025 --> 00:13:20,125 And so I said, well, then what can I do for you? 348 00:13:20,155 --> 00:13:21,405 He's like, you know what would be really helpful 349 00:13:21,405 --> 00:13:22,525 is if you could reach out to my daughter. 350 00:13:22,565 --> 00:13:24,645 I know she's not in our ward, although her address is here. 351 00:13:24,855 --> 00:13:26,365 Would you reach out and just tell her 352 00:13:26,365 --> 00:13:27,365 that you're thinking about her? 353 00:13:27,505 --> 00:13:28,725 So I did that. I grabbed it, and, 354 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,725 and I know her from our 355 00:13:29,845 --> 00:13:31,125 ward from the time when I was bishop. 356 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,565 And I, I texted her, and, 357 00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:35,365 and he, that's what he needed that day. 358 00:13:35,785 --> 00:13:38,405 Now, since that time, what was very interesting is 359 00:13:38,405 --> 00:13:42,285 that brother, um, um, uh, had some employment needs, right? 360 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,005 And, um, he said, Hey, you know, uh, 361 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,965 of course the economy's not great right now. 362 00:13:46,985 --> 00:13:49,405 And, and he ended up getting, you know, let go from his job. 363 00:13:49,985 --> 00:13:52,165 And I immediately reached out to the quorum, I reached out 364 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,445 to his ministering brothers and said, Hey, 365 00:13:53,595 --> 00:13:56,085 this good brother, um, you know, has these needs. 366 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,885 Would you show him love by forming a little team around him 367 00:13:58,945 --> 00:14:00,405 to help him do his job search? 368 00:14:01,185 --> 00:14:03,645 And what was interesting about it, instead of kind 369 00:14:03,645 --> 00:14:06,125 of either no response, I almost got an immediate response on 370 00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,445 my text that said, we'd love to do that. 371 00:14:07,475 --> 00:14:09,045 We'd love to show this brother help. 372 00:14:09,295 --> 00:14:10,965 There was a, a second brother in the war 373 00:14:10,965 --> 00:14:12,085 that also lost a job. 374 00:14:12,205 --> 00:14:13,605 I, I kind of sent out a text, Hey, 375 00:14:13,695 --> 00:14:14,925 could you two brothers help this 376 00:14:14,925 --> 00:14:15,965 brother out with his job search? 377 00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:17,525 And after having that discussion about love, 378 00:14:17,635 --> 00:14:18,725 they immediately engaged. 379 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,205 So the way love was showing up is engaging 380 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,685 with people with their needs. 381 00:14:22,835 --> 00:14:25,845 - Yeah. Well, let, let me ask real quick that there's a lot 382 00:14:25,845 --> 00:14:27,725 of this, it sounds like a lot of this even takes place 383 00:14:27,725 --> 00:14:29,285 during the core meeting as well, right? 384 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,605 That you're sort of stimulating this discussion. 385 00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:32,645 Is that That's 386 00:14:32,645 --> 00:14:33,645 - Exactly right. 387 00:14:33,645 --> 00:14:35,405 That's exactly right. Um, you know, even in, in our, 388 00:14:35,465 --> 00:14:38,685 at last couple of lessons that we've had, um, we've, 389 00:14:38,685 --> 00:14:41,725 that the, the, the five in the quorum has been, 390 00:14:41,865 --> 00:14:43,165 uh, really tremend. 391 00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:44,685 Now, I'll, I'll tell you one other kind of thing. 392 00:14:44,995 --> 00:14:46,125 When we decided to do this 393 00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:47,965 and roll this out to the quorum, um, 394 00:14:48,025 --> 00:14:51,925 we did this on a Sunday, that evening, that next, uh, 395 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,605 evening or that evening, we got an email from the stake. 396 00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:56,365 The stake said, Hey, um, 397 00:14:56,365 --> 00:14:58,165 there's a special meeting you're being invited to. 398 00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,765 Now, I'll, I'll warn you in, in our area, 399 00:15:00,155 --> 00:15:02,245 I've lived in the same house, and I've been in three wards 400 00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:03,925 and three stakes in my same house. 401 00:15:03,925 --> 00:15:05,645 Nice, nice. It's just an area of high growth. 402 00:15:05,795 --> 00:15:07,565 Well, there's a special meeting being called 403 00:15:07,695 --> 00:15:09,885 where there's some boundary changes that we're gonna be had. 404 00:15:11,235 --> 00:15:12,935 So we go to the meeting, and what it was, 405 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,935 was an ward was being dissolved, 406 00:15:14,935 --> 00:15:15,975 and part of that ward was moving, 407 00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:17,255 being moved back into our ward. 408 00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:18,415 They had been part of us before, 409 00:15:18,415 --> 00:15:20,215 and they were moving, being moved back into our ward. 410 00:15:20,435 --> 00:15:23,015 And we had no clue when we had set up kind of our program 411 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,535 to say, Hey, how could we love you? 412 00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:27,095 All of a sudden we had 32 new brethren 413 00:15:27,195 --> 00:15:28,735 who we had not seen in a decade. 414 00:15:28,765 --> 00:15:30,255 They, they were moved out a decade ago. 415 00:15:30,275 --> 00:15:32,215 Now they're moving back in. Um, 416 00:15:32,635 --> 00:15:35,175 and so, uh, immediately we said, well, 417 00:15:35,175 --> 00:15:36,175 how can we love these brothers? 418 00:15:36,365 --> 00:15:37,935 What in what way can we show them love? 419 00:15:37,965 --> 00:15:39,455 Well, the first ones is to get to know them. 420 00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:41,135 So the next core meeting, we just sat down 421 00:15:41,135 --> 00:15:42,615 and had everybody introduce themselves. 422 00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:44,255 And we talked about this, like, 423 00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:45,575 he wouldn't wanna know how to love you. 424 00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:47,455 You know, what, what are some things, you know, 425 00:15:47,455 --> 00:15:48,895 that we can know about you and your family? 426 00:15:49,475 --> 00:15:52,015 And since that time, the, the next core meetings, 427 00:15:52,015 --> 00:15:53,775 people have felt this kind of closeness 428 00:15:53,885 --> 00:15:55,895 because we had set the expectation that, hey, 429 00:15:55,895 --> 00:15:57,255 we've got these new brothers coming in. 430 00:15:57,255 --> 00:15:59,935 And of course, the Lord was very inspired to have us do 431 00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:01,175 that, um, because we had, 432 00:16:01,175 --> 00:16:02,655 we didn't even know that was coming, right? 433 00:16:02,915 --> 00:16:05,495 But we were prepared for it, which was for, for me, 434 00:16:05,535 --> 00:16:07,655 a testament of kind of how the spirit works. So, 435 00:16:07,685 --> 00:16:08,935 - Yeah, I love that. 436 00:16:09,155 --> 00:16:10,215 So, a few things come to mind, 437 00:16:10,215 --> 00:16:11,775 and I'll sort of bounce around here for a minute, 438 00:16:11,835 --> 00:16:14,055 but, uh, yeah, just the, this question, 439 00:16:14,055 --> 00:16:16,095 these questions you ask focused on love Mm-Hmm. 440 00:16:16,095 --> 00:16:18,095 And how people are receiving love 441 00:16:18,095 --> 00:16:19,855 and showing love, you know, for God and whatnot. 442 00:16:20,235 --> 00:16:21,655 Uh, again, great question. 443 00:16:21,755 --> 00:16:24,735 And people, you know, what a great if, if you can't come up 444 00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:27,495 with a question to sort of as your launching pad there. 445 00:16:27,555 --> 00:16:30,415 Uh, great question to, to take and, and use. 446 00:16:30,475 --> 00:16:32,055 But to me, I think the, the core 447 00:16:32,055 --> 00:16:34,735 of the principle is like having, like, really sitting with 448 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,415 and developing a really thoughtful question 449 00:16:37,485 --> 00:16:39,815 that stimulates the brain in a different way, so that, 450 00:16:40,035 --> 00:16:41,855 you know, I think we've worn out the, 451 00:16:42,075 --> 00:16:43,375 is there anything we can do for you? 452 00:16:43,895 --> 00:16:45,735 Question to the point that I can't help 453 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,535 but say, oh, no, no, I'm good. 454 00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:50,255 You know, it's like, even if I had stuff, I, I'd have 455 00:16:50,255 --> 00:16:52,615 to say no to that, don't I, uh, so just having 456 00:16:52,615 --> 00:16:55,855 that thoughtful question, is that, uh, is that maybe a good, 457 00:16:56,335 --> 00:16:57,895 a good thought or starting point 458 00:16:57,995 --> 00:17:00,455 for an elder elders corn president trying 459 00:17:00,455 --> 00:17:02,215 to duplicate this same type of culture? 460 00:17:02,915 --> 00:17:04,135 - No, it, it is. And, 461 00:17:04,195 --> 00:17:06,895 and I think that, you know, I, I, I mentioned to you 462 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,535 that one brother who didn't want 463 00:17:08,535 --> 00:17:09,415 to have his home teachers come 464 00:17:09,415 --> 00:17:10,495 over, and he's, and he's funny. 465 00:17:10,575 --> 00:17:12,415 I, I, I pulled him aside and said, Hey, so what's going on? 466 00:17:12,415 --> 00:17:13,895 So what, why didn't you wanna come over? 467 00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:15,335 And he said, he said, well, 468 00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:17,855 at first I didn't really feel like they were real authentic. 469 00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:20,255 I felt like they were checking the box. 470 00:17:20,755 --> 00:17:21,975 But when that shifted, right? 471 00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:23,935 When we said, okay, let's, like you said, 472 00:17:23,935 --> 00:17:25,495 let's think about very thoughtful questions 473 00:17:25,495 --> 00:17:28,535 and actually show real, genuine and authentic concern 474 00:17:28,555 --> 00:17:31,135 and care for people, his heart changed. 475 00:17:31,555 --> 00:17:33,335 Uh, both the minister's heart change 476 00:17:33,395 --> 00:17:35,175 and the es heart changed 477 00:17:35,525 --> 00:17:37,735 because he could feel that it was genuine. 478 00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,455 It's like, okay, this person really wants 479 00:17:39,455 --> 00:17:40,575 to get to know me and my family. 480 00:17:41,205 --> 00:17:43,495 I'll accept that. Right? It's harder to accept. 481 00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:46,135 It was like, okay, I'm gonna, and, and check this box. 482 00:17:46,235 --> 00:17:47,455 I'm supposed to talk to you. I'm supposed 483 00:17:47,455 --> 00:17:48,735 to bring you, you know, cookies or whatever. 484 00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:50,805 But it was really like, I really wanna get to know you. 485 00:17:50,955 --> 00:17:53,365 Like, okay, then let's chat now. I'm ready for that. Yeah, 486 00:17:53,915 --> 00:17:54,915 - Yeah, yeah. 487 00:17:54,915 --> 00:17:55,525 That's really, that's really great. 488 00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:58,005 And then it sounds like it's sort of this, like this push 489 00:17:58,005 --> 00:17:59,685 and pull type of relationship or, 490 00:17:59,905 --> 00:18:03,085 or engagement with individuals that you're not, you're not, 491 00:18:03,105 --> 00:18:05,725 you're not happy with the superficial response, right? 492 00:18:05,725 --> 00:18:07,485 You're gonna maybe take a few more steps 493 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:08,725 and think, Hey, wait a minute, 494 00:18:08,725 --> 00:18:10,085 I've asked some questions here, and it appears 495 00:18:10,085 --> 00:18:11,365 that you're a reader, right? 496 00:18:11,365 --> 00:18:13,405 So you're gonna sit with that and think, all right, 497 00:18:13,465 --> 00:18:15,525 how can I approach or serve or 498 00:18:15,525 --> 00:18:17,285 or love this individual on that level? 499 00:18:17,905 --> 00:18:21,245 Um, and see what, see what doors open up and what thoughts 500 00:18:21,245 --> 00:18:22,285 and revelations come, right? 501 00:18:22,345 --> 00:18:25,005 So you just, you're not satisfied with just, oh, 502 00:18:25,005 --> 00:18:26,445 they said they need no help, 503 00:18:26,545 --> 00:18:29,205 or, oh, they said they didn't want visitors, so I guess 504 00:18:29,205 --> 00:18:30,605 that's what we're gonna do, right? 505 00:18:31,225 --> 00:18:34,285 - No, it is. And, and, um, so, you know, there's, there's, 506 00:18:34,425 --> 00:18:37,085 uh, there's an old saying that says what 99% of, 507 00:18:37,085 --> 00:18:38,645 of success is showing up, right? 508 00:18:38,645 --> 00:18:40,165 Just being there for people. Yeah. Yeah. Right. 509 00:18:40,665 --> 00:18:41,965 So one of the things that we've tried 510 00:18:41,965 --> 00:18:43,685 to do is just show up for people. 511 00:18:44,105 --> 00:18:46,725 Um, so for example, um, uh, shortly 512 00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,725 after I was called a sister in the ward, her husband, 513 00:18:48,775 --> 00:18:53,365 who's 92, he's a, um, he's a Korean War veteran, 514 00:18:53,385 --> 00:18:55,045 really neat guy, has great stories, 515 00:18:55,105 --> 00:18:56,485 all kinds of stories from his life. 516 00:18:56,905 --> 00:18:59,085 Um, went into the hospital and his health is kind of up 517 00:18:59,085 --> 00:19:00,165 and down, went to the hospital, 518 00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:03,885 and, um, we immediately said, Hey, we grabbed a couple 519 00:19:03,885 --> 00:19:05,085 of guys, so let's head right over there. 520 00:19:05,085 --> 00:19:06,285 It was only like a mile from our house. 521 00:19:06,285 --> 00:19:07,725 We just went over there and spent the time with him. 522 00:19:07,745 --> 00:19:09,725 Now, you have to understand that spending time 523 00:19:09,725 --> 00:19:11,245 with him is never a 10 minute visit, 524 00:19:11,245 --> 00:19:12,565 because he'll just tell you stories 525 00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:13,685 even when he is not feeling well. 526 00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:14,805 He, he likes to tell you stories. 527 00:19:15,305 --> 00:19:16,765 So we just went and spent time with him 528 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,205 and just kind of sat by him. 529 00:19:18,475 --> 00:19:19,765 That was what he needed that day. 530 00:19:19,765 --> 00:19:21,645 He was kind of hooked up to all kinds of things. 531 00:19:21,645 --> 00:19:22,685 Just needed us to visit him. 532 00:19:22,825 --> 00:19:24,925 But he was in the hospital for like five days. 533 00:19:25,595 --> 00:19:27,925 Well, we said, Hey, uh, has he had the sacrament? 534 00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:30,645 No, he hasn't. Well, we had to permiss him from the bishop 535 00:19:30,705 --> 00:19:32,925 to bring that by, to bring the sacrament by. 536 00:19:32,925 --> 00:19:35,125 And I ended up bringing the missionaries with me, uh, 537 00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:36,645 because I had a missionary correlation meeting that day 538 00:19:36,645 --> 00:19:38,405 and said, Hey, why don't you come by with me with, uh, 539 00:19:38,405 --> 00:19:39,445 his ministering brother-in-law? 540 00:19:39,665 --> 00:19:40,685 See what he needs. We'll, 541 00:19:40,685 --> 00:19:42,165 give him the sacrament and see if he needs a blessing. 542 00:19:42,675 --> 00:19:44,125 Well, when we, when we showed up there 543 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:46,245 with the missionaries, again, this was just, you know, 544 00:19:46,295 --> 00:19:47,805 again, this is all happening in real time. 545 00:19:47,865 --> 00:19:49,405 Hey, let's just come and spend time with you. 546 00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:51,485 It was interesting. He was actually 547 00:19:51,485 --> 00:19:52,645 at that point, feeling a little better. 548 00:19:52,645 --> 00:19:54,165 And when he realized that the missionaries were there, 549 00:19:54,345 --> 00:19:55,525 he went into some of his stories, 550 00:19:55,525 --> 00:19:57,165 but then started bearing his testimony. 551 00:19:57,425 --> 00:19:58,685 He started saying, Hey, 552 00:19:58,685 --> 00:20:00,165 this is, I wanna share with you missionaries. 553 00:20:00,185 --> 00:20:01,845 You make sure when you're serving you do this. 554 00:20:01,865 --> 00:20:04,005 He, he bores testimony about serving others 555 00:20:04,005 --> 00:20:05,045 and sharing the gospel in 556 00:20:05,045 --> 00:20:06,125 times that he had shared the gospel. 557 00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,605 And he, and he actually got a little kind of teary-eyed 558 00:20:08,605 --> 00:20:09,925 as he was saying this, right? 559 00:20:10,385 --> 00:20:12,365 And when I left, we gave him, each, gave him a big hug, 560 00:20:12,365 --> 00:20:13,405 and he said, thank you so much for coming. 561 00:20:13,885 --> 00:20:15,525 I said, great. Well, he was, you're getting out tomorrow. 562 00:20:15,525 --> 00:20:16,565 I'll come by your house. We'll make 563 00:20:16,565 --> 00:20:17,605 sure we come by next week. 564 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,165 And we went to the quorum and, 565 00:20:19,165 --> 00:20:20,845 and said, told the quorum, Hey, 566 00:20:20,905 --> 00:20:22,685 we wanna bring him the sacrament every week, 567 00:20:22,945 --> 00:20:24,965 but we don't want just one member of the quorum to do this. 568 00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:26,565 We actually wanna assign that to different members 569 00:20:26,585 --> 00:20:28,965 of the quorum so he gets to meet different people. 570 00:20:29,665 --> 00:20:31,565 And the response was interesting. It was almost immediate. 571 00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:33,765 Sure, I'll do that. There was actually, nobody said to you, 572 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:36,765 no, I'm kind of busy after this kind of this, 573 00:20:36,875 --> 00:20:39,205 this engagement, this kind of conversation about love. 574 00:20:39,265 --> 00:20:42,165 Now, when we have a need, I just see people leaning in 575 00:20:42,225 --> 00:20:44,565 and just being willing to take up their time vol very 576 00:20:44,565 --> 00:20:45,845 voluntarily to go 577 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,045 and accept assignments, to really just be there 578 00:20:48,065 --> 00:20:49,245 for people and sit with people. 579 00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:50,925 - Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's really powerful. 580 00:20:51,085 --> 00:20:53,125 'cause there is like this cultural shift, right? 581 00:20:53,265 --> 00:20:56,245 Um, that it's not necessarily you, you have a formula 582 00:20:56,395 --> 00:20:57,885 that works perfectly every time, 583 00:20:57,945 --> 00:21:01,165 but you're, uh, you have some, uh, some habits that, 584 00:21:01,475 --> 00:21:03,605 that you're employing over and over again. 585 00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:05,925 And little by little, those, those walls come down, right? 586 00:21:05,985 --> 00:21:07,645 And then it becomes, not, 587 00:21:07,745 --> 00:21:10,765 not even about the question you ask anymore, um, 588 00:21:10,945 --> 00:21:12,405 but though you may still employ that, 589 00:21:12,465 --> 00:21:15,605 but it's more about, okay, everybody's like sort 590 00:21:15,605 --> 00:21:17,165 of warmed up to this experience. 591 00:21:17,745 --> 00:21:19,165 - That's right. That's right. And, and, 592 00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:21,165 and I'll tell you, I'm sure there'll be ups and downs. 593 00:21:21,225 --> 00:21:23,525 Uh, maybe we're, we're, we're here at the beginning 594 00:21:23,525 --> 00:21:24,565 of our road, and of course, 595 00:21:24,565 --> 00:21:25,965 there'll be other things that will happen. 596 00:21:26,465 --> 00:21:28,845 But, but I'll tell you that the feeling is very genuine, 597 00:21:29,135 --> 00:21:30,925 which, which really makes me happy. 598 00:21:31,425 --> 00:21:33,325 Um, because with genuine concern 599 00:21:33,345 --> 00:21:36,125 and genuine care, lots of really positive things can happen. 600 00:21:36,745 --> 00:21:38,925 You can't anticipate, of course, the needs 601 00:21:38,925 --> 00:21:40,925 that are gonna show up, whether it be temporal needs 602 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,805 or spiritual needs or whatever it may be. 603 00:21:43,505 --> 00:21:46,765 But when people trust, right, that you're gonna be there 604 00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:50,605 for them, they're more apt to share, they're more apt to, 605 00:21:50,785 --> 00:21:52,965 um, want to kind of talk about those things 606 00:21:52,965 --> 00:21:54,005 that would help them out. 607 00:21:54,385 --> 00:21:56,325 Um, I, I actually, the, the other thing 608 00:21:56,325 --> 00:21:58,085 that I think we we've done is we made sure 609 00:21:58,085 --> 00:21:59,285 that we are engaging the sisters of this. 610 00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:02,285 Now, the sisters, I, I think do this in spades. 611 00:22:02,285 --> 00:22:03,325 It's very natural for them. 612 00:22:03,945 --> 00:22:06,525 And when, when we were engaging with the, with the, uh, 613 00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:09,565 relief Society presidency, uh, who they do a great job in, 614 00:22:09,565 --> 00:22:11,925 in their diminishing efforts, we said, we want our award 615 00:22:11,925 --> 00:22:14,885 to be representative of an equally yoked elders 616 00:22:14,885 --> 00:22:16,165 quorum and relief society. 617 00:22:16,165 --> 00:22:19,045 Mm-Hmm. Um, sometimes, um, and, 618 00:22:19,045 --> 00:22:20,165 and it may be perception, 619 00:22:20,165 --> 00:22:22,285 it may be reality, but you hear this a lot. 620 00:22:22,285 --> 00:22:23,765 Well, the sisters know that we're not sure 621 00:22:23,765 --> 00:22:24,845 the brothers really know what's going on. 622 00:22:24,845 --> 00:22:26,405 The sisters tend to know the needs 623 00:22:26,405 --> 00:22:27,805 because they talk with the other sisters. 624 00:22:28,385 --> 00:22:30,685 And we kind of set the standard that, that this elders quo, 625 00:22:30,855 --> 00:22:32,845 we're gonna know as many needs as the sisters do, 626 00:22:32,845 --> 00:22:34,765 and that we've agreed myself 627 00:22:34,765 --> 00:22:36,125 and the relief society president, we're gonna meet 628 00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:38,485 regularly, um, outside of our ward council 629 00:22:38,585 --> 00:22:41,525 and outside of our normal times, so that we can really sit 630 00:22:41,525 --> 00:22:43,165 and discuss the needs of the ward. 631 00:22:43,545 --> 00:22:45,885 And that equal yoking of both the sisters, 632 00:22:46,585 --> 00:22:49,685 the sister leaders, and the elders who are leaders together 633 00:22:49,705 --> 00:22:51,205 to take care of these families, I think is 634 00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:53,005 where the power really comes, comes to bear. 635 00:22:53,525 --> 00:22:55,845 - Hmm. Yeah. That's a powerful concept. 636 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:59,205 I mean, and just speaking it, I think most of us in, 637 00:22:59,225 --> 00:23:00,765 in theory, we're like, well, of course 638 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:02,765 the Elders Quorum President, 639 00:23:02,785 --> 00:23:04,165 or the Elders Quorum, the Relief Society 640 00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:05,205 should be equally yoked. 641 00:23:05,205 --> 00:23:09,035 But, uh, there are moments where that's not true. Right. 642 00:23:09,235 --> 00:23:10,435 , and, and that's right. And, 643 00:23:10,695 --> 00:23:12,555 and everybody can kinda think back to those, 644 00:23:12,555 --> 00:23:16,115 those experiences, but to sort of speak it, you know, in 645 00:23:16,115 --> 00:23:19,355 that, in that company, and then continue to return to it. 646 00:23:19,355 --> 00:23:22,715 Like, wait a minute, like this activity, this plan, 647 00:23:22,905 --> 00:23:24,035 this direction we're moving, 648 00:23:24,175 --> 00:23:26,835 it doesn't feel like we're equally yoked. 649 00:23:26,835 --> 00:23:29,115 And so then you can sort of step back and address that. 650 00:23:29,655 --> 00:23:31,395 - That's right. That's right. And, and it's interesting. 651 00:23:31,415 --> 00:23:32,555 My wife is currently serving 652 00:23:32,655 --> 00:23:34,515 as our Stake Relief Society president, 653 00:23:34,815 --> 00:23:36,475 and she tells me that as she engages 654 00:23:36,475 --> 00:23:38,875 with the different wards in our stake, the wart that seem 655 00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:41,915 to have the best feeling in them are ones where there is 656 00:23:41,915 --> 00:23:43,955 that equal ying between the Elders Quorum 657 00:23:44,135 --> 00:23:46,285 and the release society that both, you know, sets 658 00:23:46,285 --> 00:23:47,645 of leaders are really engaging. 659 00:23:48,145 --> 00:23:50,885 Uh, and, and I know the Bishop who's serving now, my bishop, 660 00:23:51,025 --> 00:23:52,485 uh, was actually one of my counselors 661 00:23:52,485 --> 00:23:54,045 before, uh, we're good friends. 662 00:23:54,625 --> 00:23:56,565 And, and he mentioned to me, you know, as he, 663 00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:58,885 as I was called, he said, look, with this new change, 664 00:23:58,945 --> 00:24:01,285 now I'm the, essentially the young men's president. 665 00:24:01,285 --> 00:24:03,765 Right? Which wasn't the case when I was bishop. 666 00:24:04,625 --> 00:24:06,885 Um, he's, I really need to be spending time with the youth. 667 00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:09,045 And, and I would really appreciate you just leaning in 668 00:24:09,045 --> 00:24:11,525 and really taking a lot of the adult issues so that, so 669 00:24:11,525 --> 00:24:13,045 that I can really focus on the youth. 670 00:24:13,425 --> 00:24:15,085 And as we engage in text back 671 00:24:15,085 --> 00:24:16,605 and forth, he's expressed that appreciation 672 00:24:16,605 --> 00:24:18,005 that he loves the, me 673 00:24:18,065 --> 00:24:20,725 and the police president are really kind of taking the lead. 674 00:24:20,825 --> 00:24:22,805 We actually will tell him, we don't have to ask permission. 675 00:24:22,805 --> 00:24:24,245 We say, Hey, Bishop, here's this need. 676 00:24:24,245 --> 00:24:25,405 Here's how we've done it. Is 677 00:24:25,405 --> 00:24:26,525 there anything else we should be doing? 678 00:24:26,915 --> 00:24:27,925 Instead of, Hey, Bishop, 679 00:24:27,995 --> 00:24:30,125 what should we do waiting for him to direct us? 680 00:24:30,155 --> 00:24:32,165 It's, Hey, Bishop, we've decided this needs to happen. 681 00:24:32,545 --> 00:24:34,565 Do you have any guidance for us? Or you do you approve that? 682 00:24:34,565 --> 00:24:35,525 And he says, yes, go right 683 00:24:35,525 --> 00:24:36,405 ahead, or he will give us some guidance. 684 00:24:36,665 --> 00:24:38,965 So taking that active lead is really taking the, 685 00:24:38,965 --> 00:24:41,045 some burden off of him, which he really appreciates. 686 00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:45,725 - Yeah. So I wanna really underscore this, this concept 687 00:24:45,945 --> 00:24:48,165 and the, what, what this example really well, 688 00:24:48,165 --> 00:24:50,085 because this is a very common question 689 00:24:50,085 --> 00:24:52,085 that we receive here at Leading Saints, is just, 690 00:24:52,275 --> 00:24:53,485 what are other wards doing? 691 00:24:53,485 --> 00:24:54,765 It's usually focused on the youth, right? 692 00:24:54,765 --> 00:24:56,765 Like this, this, uh, the, 693 00:24:56,785 --> 00:24:59,085 the Fisher Bricks focused on the youth, and, 694 00:24:59,345 --> 00:25:01,565 but you know, a lot of words aren't getting it. 695 00:25:01,705 --> 00:25:04,685 Or, um, you know, people still reach out to the bishop 696 00:25:04,825 --> 00:25:06,125 and he's just overwhelmed, busy. 697 00:25:06,175 --> 00:25:09,085 Right? And it's just, to me, it's, it can be as simple 698 00:25:09,105 --> 00:25:10,605 as just having that conversation 699 00:25:10,605 --> 00:25:13,645 where the Bishop acknowledges saying, you know, Aaron, 700 00:25:13,825 --> 00:25:17,365 you are the Elders Corp president, I enabling you to deal 701 00:25:17,635 --> 00:25:18,805 with the adult issues. 702 00:25:18,805 --> 00:25:20,405 Right? And, and just having 703 00:25:20,405 --> 00:25:24,085 that simple conversation empowers the Elders Corn Relief 704 00:25:24,085 --> 00:25:25,245 Society to lean in 705 00:25:25,245 --> 00:25:27,565 and to the point even articulating that, listen, 706 00:25:27,805 --> 00:25:29,885 I don't need you to come to me and say, is this okay? 707 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,405 Just go right. 708 00:25:31,865 --> 00:25:33,205 - That's right. That's exactly right. 709 00:25:33,305 --> 00:25:36,805 Now I, I'll admit, because I was the previous bishop, um, 710 00:25:37,065 --> 00:25:39,365 you know, I, I think it's been easier for me to do that 711 00:25:39,365 --> 00:25:40,245 because, you know, in that 712 00:25:40,405 --> 00:25:41,565 capacity I was used to doing that. 713 00:25:41,745 --> 00:25:43,845 And people in the ward still, at least the people who've 714 00:25:43,845 --> 00:25:45,605 been around for a while, kind of knew me as that. 715 00:25:45,605 --> 00:25:46,725 And so they're comfortable with that, 716 00:25:47,225 --> 00:25:49,445 but I don't think that should stop someone who hadn't had 717 00:25:49,445 --> 00:25:50,645 that experience or that kind 718 00:25:50,645 --> 00:25:52,085 of relationship with their ward members. 719 00:25:52,715 --> 00:25:54,205 This should be the case, whether 720 00:25:54,205 --> 00:25:55,925 or not you ever served in that capacity. 721 00:25:56,035 --> 00:25:58,245 Yeah, I think the Lord is entrusting elders, 722 00:25:58,245 --> 00:25:59,285 corn presidents, now that, 723 00:25:59,465 --> 00:26:01,965 and of course, the, the sisters in the Release society 724 00:26:02,025 --> 00:26:04,125 to kind of really take over and, and, 725 00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:05,925 and help with those adult, you know, issues. 726 00:26:06,225 --> 00:26:09,045 You know, anything that doesn't involve worthiness, um, or, 727 00:26:09,045 --> 00:26:10,845 or, or fair game for us to kind of lead in 728 00:26:10,845 --> 00:26:12,765 and help with employment or illnesses 729 00:26:12,765 --> 00:26:13,925 or anything else of that sort. 730 00:26:14,555 --> 00:26:17,205 - Yeah, no, that's, uh, that's so powerful. 731 00:26:17,205 --> 00:26:19,965 And, and again, you just sort of, depending on case by case, 732 00:26:19,965 --> 00:26:22,765 maybe you have a less experienced Elders Corps president may 733 00:26:22,765 --> 00:26:24,885 need a little bit more of some mentoring 734 00:26:24,885 --> 00:26:27,405 and training, you know, as far as, okay, this issue came up, 735 00:26:27,805 --> 00:26:29,325 I don't want to land on my desk as the Bishop, 736 00:26:29,385 --> 00:26:32,005 so let's talk about ways that you can handle it and whatnot. 737 00:26:32,065 --> 00:26:35,405 But is, are there any other examples as far as, you know, 738 00:26:35,815 --> 00:26:37,445 adult issues that's probably , I dunno, 739 00:26:37,445 --> 00:26:39,485 that's the perfect, but we'll go with it for now. 740 00:26:39,545 --> 00:26:42,445 But like, what does that, any, any examples of what 741 00:26:42,445 --> 00:26:45,125 that looks like, like in practice, uh, when things come up 742 00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:46,925 and how you maybe, how, 743 00:26:46,945 --> 00:26:49,605 how they can avoid landing on the Bishop's plate? 744 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:52,285 - Yeah. And so a couple of things come to mind 745 00:26:52,505 --> 00:26:54,245 and I'll, I'll use one example I've already used 746 00:26:54,245 --> 00:26:55,565 and then, we'll, I'll give you a couple of others. 747 00:26:56,065 --> 00:26:58,165 You know, one is this example of, you know, 748 00:26:58,165 --> 00:26:59,525 employment needs, right? 749 00:26:59,785 --> 00:27:02,125 Um, if you think about relief society 750 00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:04,405 and elder's, quorum presidents being at the, at the kind 751 00:27:04,405 --> 00:27:05,925 of the rock face of what if that happens? 752 00:27:06,225 --> 00:27:08,205 So someone loses their job, who's the first person 753 00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:10,005 that individual should call? 754 00:27:10,065 --> 00:27:12,485 If we have the right relationships with those families, 755 00:27:13,155 --> 00:27:14,805 they should call me as Elder's Quorum president, 756 00:27:14,805 --> 00:27:16,045 or the Relief Society President, 757 00:27:16,145 --> 00:27:17,685 or, uh, their ministering brother, 758 00:27:17,825 --> 00:27:18,965 not necessarily the bishop. 759 00:27:19,185 --> 00:27:21,365 Of course, we can assess the situation 760 00:27:21,365 --> 00:27:23,765 and determine what's happening, whether there are needs, 761 00:27:23,785 --> 00:27:24,885 you know, welfare type needs 762 00:27:24,885 --> 00:27:26,165 that the Bishop would need to engage in. 763 00:27:26,165 --> 00:27:27,325 But of course, he'll engage in those 764 00:27:27,325 --> 00:27:29,165 and then of course, return the assignment to us. 765 00:27:29,545 --> 00:27:31,565 So that one's a very, that one's a very natural one. 766 00:27:31,675 --> 00:27:35,125 Another very natural one, um, would be, you know, items of, 767 00:27:35,145 --> 00:27:36,245 of illness, like I mentioned 768 00:27:36,245 --> 00:27:39,285 before, someone's ill, again, the typical thing would be, 769 00:27:39,305 --> 00:27:40,565 Hey, Bishop, I'm in the hospital. 770 00:27:40,675 --> 00:27:41,885 Instead of, Hey, you know, 771 00:27:41,885 --> 00:27:43,245 president Binowski, I'm in the hospital. 772 00:27:43,315 --> 00:27:45,645 What, you know, could we get some help here? 773 00:27:45,645 --> 00:27:46,685 Or, Hey, brother, so 774 00:27:46,685 --> 00:27:48,445 and so, my ministering brother, I'm in the hospital. 775 00:27:48,445 --> 00:27:50,005 Can I get some help? I think 776 00:27:50,005 --> 00:27:51,885 with time we can actually build those relationships 777 00:27:51,945 --> 00:27:53,045 and take that burden off the Bishop. 778 00:27:53,245 --> 00:27:54,485 'cause that should be the first line, right? 779 00:27:54,485 --> 00:27:57,685 That should be the first call. Now you can get into things 780 00:27:57,685 --> 00:27:59,645 that maybe are a little, um, you know, 781 00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:01,045 a, a little different scope. 782 00:28:01,465 --> 00:28:03,685 So you think about someone who says, Hey, I'm, I'm starting 783 00:28:03,685 --> 00:28:05,565 to have issues with my, in my family, 784 00:28:05,585 --> 00:28:08,685 rather relationship issues or issues with my kids. 785 00:28:08,895 --> 00:28:10,085 Where do you go first on that? 786 00:28:10,215 --> 00:28:12,045 Again, typically you would call the bishop, Hey, Bishop, 787 00:28:12,045 --> 00:28:13,165 we're having some marital issues, 788 00:28:13,165 --> 00:28:15,845 or, Hey Bishop, we're having some issues with our kids. 789 00:28:16,505 --> 00:28:18,845 And, and, uh, and that may still may be a good place 790 00:28:18,845 --> 00:28:21,325 to start, but I think very quickly the bishop will say, Hey, 791 00:28:21,455 --> 00:28:24,365 would you mind if my elders corps president meets with you 792 00:28:24,385 --> 00:28:26,365 and kind of helps you out, you know, depending on the, 793 00:28:26,365 --> 00:28:28,325 of course, the nature and the, and the of the issue. 794 00:28:28,785 --> 00:28:31,565 Um, and so I think as those issues kind of become, you know, 795 00:28:31,565 --> 00:28:34,165 pushing those kind of realms, I still think 796 00:28:34,325 --> 00:28:35,525 that we should assess those 797 00:28:35,585 --> 00:28:37,445 and ask, is the Bishop really the person 798 00:28:37,755 --> 00:28:40,605 that should be definitely quarterbacking, perhaps, 799 00:28:40,945 --> 00:28:43,245 but really leading could be the elders corpsman in the 800 00:28:43,245 --> 00:28:44,285 release society really leading 801 00:28:44,585 --> 00:28:47,085 and trying to kind of manage, you know, kind of, uh, 802 00:28:47,455 --> 00:28:50,685 those kinds of issues, uh, you know, with families. Yeah. 803 00:28:50,985 --> 00:28:53,165 - That's really helpful. I'm, I'm glad, uh, we, 804 00:28:53,185 --> 00:28:54,285 we stumbled upon that. 805 00:28:54,285 --> 00:28:55,645 I don't know if you were planning on talking about 806 00:28:55,645 --> 00:28:58,165 that dynamic, but it's, uh, it's definitely helpful. 807 00:28:58,785 --> 00:28:59,885 Um, anything else? 808 00:28:59,885 --> 00:29:02,245 Going back to, oh, I wanna ask you about the, 809 00:29:02,355 --> 00:29:06,925 just like your general approach to, uh, elders quorum, 810 00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,565 like meeting every other week in, in terms of this 811 00:29:10,365 --> 00:29:12,565 ministering, you know, ministering is love. 812 00:29:12,785 --> 00:29:16,125 Uh, any, like, how you start the meeting, how you, you know, 813 00:29:16,125 --> 00:29:18,805 it sounds like there were times where you, you totally sort 814 00:29:18,805 --> 00:29:20,165 of put the conference talk aside 815 00:29:20,405 --> 00:29:22,165 'cause hey, we just, you know, combined 816 00:29:22,195 --> 00:29:23,365 with a different ward, we've 817 00:29:23,365 --> 00:29:24,485 gotta know each other type thing. 818 00:29:24,485 --> 00:29:27,725 Okay. I assume that that dramatic shift doesn't happen every 819 00:29:27,725 --> 00:29:30,325 week, but anything you do just within the context 820 00:29:30,465 --> 00:29:33,365 of the elders quo meeting that you haven't mentioned yet? 821 00:29:33,955 --> 00:29:36,485 - Yeah. So, um, a a couple of thoughts that, that, 822 00:29:36,485 --> 00:29:39,965 that we're doing, um, um, number one, on any given week, 823 00:29:39,985 --> 00:29:42,365 for example, if, when we had the issue with the brother 824 00:29:42,545 --> 00:29:44,965 who needed the sacrament, um, as you know, in the, 825 00:29:44,965 --> 00:29:46,605 in the manual, it actually says 826 00:29:46,605 --> 00:29:48,005 that sisters can do this as well. 827 00:29:48,265 --> 00:29:49,525 You can hold a council, right? 828 00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:51,045 Um, before you start your class, 829 00:29:51,065 --> 00:29:53,765 you can have a hold a brief kind of council type situation 830 00:29:53,765 --> 00:29:55,045 where you say, Hey, we've got a need. 831 00:29:55,045 --> 00:29:56,605 And so that's where we for example, brought up that need 832 00:29:56,605 --> 00:29:57,605 with the brother in the hospital. 833 00:29:57,625 --> 00:29:59,125 We said, Hey, before we start our lesson, 834 00:29:59,495 --> 00:30:00,885 let's talk about a need that we have. 835 00:30:01,135 --> 00:30:02,445 We've got this assignment to take. 836 00:30:02,445 --> 00:30:04,045 There's, uh, the sacrament in. 837 00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:05,365 Uh, we'd like to do 838 00:30:05,365 --> 00:30:06,885 that across everyone so it gets to know people. 839 00:30:07,125 --> 00:30:08,365 'cause we have this new change in our ward. 840 00:30:08,505 --> 00:30:10,325 Are you all willing to accept that assignment? Yes. 841 00:30:10,625 --> 00:30:11,965 And we talked a little bit about that brother. 842 00:30:11,985 --> 00:30:13,805 We introduced him 'cause he, people haven't met him 843 00:30:13,805 --> 00:30:14,965 because he's been ill for so long. 844 00:30:15,145 --> 00:30:16,805 So we spent some time letting them 845 00:30:16,805 --> 00:30:17,885 know and getting to know them. 846 00:30:18,065 --> 00:30:19,805 So I think there's that, that council aspect. 847 00:30:19,805 --> 00:30:21,885 And I understand that our sisters are doing the same thing. 848 00:30:21,885 --> 00:30:24,405 They'll take a little bit of time before the, the, um, 849 00:30:24,405 --> 00:30:25,885 release society meeting starts, 850 00:30:25,885 --> 00:30:27,165 before the lesson starts, and do that. 851 00:30:27,705 --> 00:30:30,685 The second thing that we've done is we have, um, so 852 00:30:30,705 --> 00:30:32,365 as you know, when you do the, the lesson, 853 00:30:32,365 --> 00:30:34,205 it's typically from a, a conference talk, 854 00:30:35,025 --> 00:30:37,765 but we're sensing with the way the economy's going, 855 00:30:37,765 --> 00:30:39,485 and now we have, you know, a couple of brothers 856 00:30:39,485 --> 00:30:41,685 that have faced some employment issues that we would like 857 00:30:41,685 --> 00:30:44,925 to take one, um, lesson each, uh, quarter 858 00:30:45,065 --> 00:30:46,525 and actually focus on preparedness 859 00:30:46,785 --> 00:30:48,725 and say, okay, there's an aspect of preparedness 860 00:30:48,725 --> 00:30:50,205 that we should all be paying attention to, 861 00:30:50,235 --> 00:30:51,245 whether it be temporal 862 00:30:51,445 --> 00:30:52,685 preparedness or spiritual preparedness. 863 00:30:52,705 --> 00:30:54,245 But, um, and that's something 864 00:30:54,245 --> 00:30:56,685 that maybe has gotten lost in terms of how, you know, 865 00:30:56,685 --> 00:30:58,285 we went to two hour church, you know, 866 00:30:58,785 --> 00:30:59,965 and there's certain callings we 867 00:30:59,965 --> 00:31:01,125 don't have anymore that we used to have. 868 00:31:01,305 --> 00:31:03,205 You say, Hey, look, we don't wanna lose that focus on, 869 00:31:03,225 --> 00:31:06,525 you know, having food storage and savings and budgeting 870 00:31:06,525 --> 00:31:08,285 and all those really great things that we've always learned, 871 00:31:08,425 --> 00:31:10,645 you know, as the church, there just wasn't a slot for it. 872 00:31:10,785 --> 00:31:12,925 So as a presence, we said, Hey, why don't we actually make 873 00:31:12,925 --> 00:31:14,005 that one of the, you know, 874 00:31:14,005 --> 00:31:16,245 the six lessons you have in a quarter, we'll focus on, 875 00:31:16,745 --> 00:31:17,805 um, preparedness. 876 00:31:17,805 --> 00:31:19,685 What what's really cool about it is my newly called 877 00:31:19,965 --> 00:31:21,285 secretary, who's only been a member 878 00:31:21,305 --> 00:31:22,965 for six months, he's a great guy. 879 00:31:22,995 --> 00:31:25,285 He's, he, in fact, he has a countdown on, on his phone, 880 00:31:25,505 --> 00:31:26,525 the countdown, when he gets to go 881 00:31:26,525 --> 00:31:27,725 to the temple, he's super engaged. 882 00:31:28,225 --> 00:31:31,205 Um, uh, he, he, we gave him that assignment, said, 883 00:31:31,205 --> 00:31:33,485 why don't you lead this discussion on preparedness? 884 00:31:33,485 --> 00:31:35,045 Well, it turns out, lo 885 00:31:35,045 --> 00:31:36,845 and behold, this is something he's really, it's, 886 00:31:36,875 --> 00:31:38,165 it's a, it's a priority for him. 887 00:31:38,165 --> 00:31:39,245 It's something he's, he's thought about 888 00:31:39,245 --> 00:31:40,485 for many years before he joined the church. 889 00:31:40,505 --> 00:31:42,085 So, which just happened to be something, of course, 890 00:31:42,105 --> 00:31:44,885 we know there's no, um, coincidences in the church, right? 891 00:31:44,885 --> 00:31:46,925 Yeah. He was called for a reason. Now he's gonna lead that. 892 00:31:46,985 --> 00:31:49,605 So, so, so making the elders Corps meeting 893 00:31:50,145 --> 00:31:52,405 not only spiritually uplifting and edifying, 894 00:31:52,545 --> 00:31:55,085 but also very practical to address issues that are kind 895 00:31:55,085 --> 00:31:57,765 of real issues that people deal with, I think will, 896 00:31:57,995 --> 00:32:00,165 will continue to engage people in the right way of saying, 897 00:32:00,165 --> 00:32:02,605 oh wow, this wo presidency's engaged in my life. 898 00:32:02,605 --> 00:32:04,445 Like, they're talking about things that are important to me, 899 00:32:04,785 --> 00:32:05,885 you know, and, and, 900 00:32:05,905 --> 00:32:07,765 and again, when the need arises, hopefully that would 901 00:32:08,405 --> 00:32:09,845 reciprocate with them opening up 902 00:32:09,945 --> 00:32:11,605 and letting us know what those needs are. 903 00:32:11,835 --> 00:32:12,885 - Yeah. Yeah. 904 00:32:12,925 --> 00:32:15,085 I think that's, uh, you know, just sometimes there's 905 00:32:15,085 --> 00:32:18,525 that pressure of, um, you know, what, you've, 906 00:32:18,525 --> 00:32:20,805 we've asked this good brother to lead a discussion 907 00:32:20,805 --> 00:32:22,845 or teach about such and such conference talk, 908 00:32:22,865 --> 00:32:25,325 and I'm sure there's a lot of doctrine that we gotta unpack. 909 00:32:25,385 --> 00:32:28,725 And so there's sort of this feeling of this rush to, 910 00:32:29,185 --> 00:32:31,245 to get into the, the lesson, you know, 911 00:32:31,385 --> 00:32:33,165 and I think to just sort of shift 912 00:32:33,165 --> 00:32:36,485 that maybe set certain expectations so everybody knows, 913 00:32:36,665 --> 00:32:38,485 and we're just gonna sort of breathe at the beginning 914 00:32:38,485 --> 00:32:39,845 of this elders quo and, 915 00:32:40,505 --> 00:32:42,005 and just really sit with like, 916 00:32:42,005 --> 00:32:43,565 what are some issues you're seeing? 917 00:32:43,785 --> 00:32:46,565 Or, you know, so-and-so lost his job. 918 00:32:46,595 --> 00:32:48,645 Like, how can, how can we take a minute 919 00:32:48,645 --> 00:32:51,125 and just say, you know, he's got some engineer background 920 00:32:51,265 --> 00:32:54,085 and, you know, you know, again, just sort of letting it 921 00:32:54,745 --> 00:32:57,085 be part of the meeting rather than, oh, 922 00:32:57,085 --> 00:32:58,245 some quick announcements 923 00:32:58,345 --> 00:33:00,765 and, uh, yeah, this and that service assignment. 924 00:33:00,865 --> 00:33:02,685 All right, let's get to the lesson and then it, 925 00:33:02,705 --> 00:33:04,405 and then we kind of, you know, get into that, 926 00:33:04,405 --> 00:33:07,565 which is important, but sort of just creating space 927 00:33:07,565 --> 00:33:08,605 and being okay with that, 928 00:33:08,875 --> 00:33:10,845 that council part of an elders quo. 929 00:33:11,355 --> 00:33:13,445 - Well, if you think about it, so if the listeners can 930 00:33:13,445 --> 00:33:14,845 listen to, maybe they go back 931 00:33:14,865 --> 00:33:16,565 and they listen to what you just said, right? 932 00:33:16,915 --> 00:33:18,685 That was a very transactional kind 933 00:33:18,685 --> 00:33:20,205 of a dialogue that you just went through. 934 00:33:20,785 --> 00:33:21,885 Now, the dialogue that we went through 935 00:33:21,885 --> 00:33:23,965 before that was a much more relational dialogue. 936 00:33:24,185 --> 00:33:25,605 Hey, what, what's going on in your life? 937 00:33:25,625 --> 00:33:28,245 How, how are things going? We've got this need, you know, 938 00:33:28,245 --> 00:33:29,405 how are we prepared for these things? 939 00:33:29,405 --> 00:33:30,445 Then you can kind of get into the lesson, 940 00:33:30,585 --> 00:33:32,605 and I would suggest that the, the spirit of 941 00:33:32,605 --> 00:33:34,645 that lesson will, will shift based 942 00:33:34,805 --> 00:33:35,885 on whatever was happening. 943 00:33:36,085 --> 00:33:37,085 'cause the spirit guide the teacher. 944 00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:39,445 Then the other thing that we've decided to do 945 00:33:39,445 --> 00:33:42,165 as a presidency is there, there's this great talk by, uh, 946 00:33:42,165 --> 00:33:44,245 elder Packer many years ago where he mentioned 947 00:33:44,245 --> 00:33:45,965 that he was in a state conference 948 00:33:46,585 --> 00:33:48,085 and, uh, a brother had walked in. 949 00:33:48,085 --> 00:33:49,405 He said, oh, who's that brother? And he said, 950 00:33:49,405 --> 00:33:50,525 oh, we're so happy to see him. 951 00:33:50,525 --> 00:33:52,365 He's an inactive brother. He has been in a while. 952 00:33:52,945 --> 00:33:55,565 And then he mentions that, and then the meeting started 953 00:33:55,705 --> 00:33:57,325 and this brother was sitting back there 954 00:33:57,425 --> 00:33:59,085 and the people giving the prayers 955 00:33:59,225 --> 00:34:01,525 and doing the talks were all of these, you know, 956 00:34:01,595 --> 00:34:02,925 very active members of the church. 957 00:34:02,985 --> 00:34:04,405 And he said, I wondered why they didn't 958 00:34:04,405 --> 00:34:05,445 ask that brother to give a prayer. 959 00:34:05,745 --> 00:34:07,685 He said, here was the smorgasbord of spirituality. 960 00:34:07,745 --> 00:34:09,245 And the brother was sitting on the side 961 00:34:09,305 --> 00:34:10,925 and wasn't invited to the table to partake. 962 00:34:11,785 --> 00:34:14,365 And so we decided that, we said, look, something as simple 963 00:34:14,365 --> 00:34:16,485 as a prayer in elder's quorum, which as you know, a lot 964 00:34:16,485 --> 00:34:17,765 of times is random, Hey brother, so 965 00:34:17,765 --> 00:34:18,845 and so can you give the opening prayer? 966 00:34:19,375 --> 00:34:21,285 We've decided to look at our list of people 967 00:34:21,285 --> 00:34:24,845 that maybe don't come that often, who if you ask them ahead 968 00:34:24,845 --> 00:34:26,725 of time, would you come and give a prayer that day? 969 00:34:27,115 --> 00:34:28,685 That might be the reason they would actually 970 00:34:28,685 --> 00:34:29,725 come to church that day. 971 00:34:29,865 --> 00:34:31,605 And or if they only come for second meeting, 972 00:34:31,605 --> 00:34:33,045 they might actually stay for Corp 973 00:34:33,045 --> 00:34:34,685 because you've planned it out ahead. 974 00:34:34,685 --> 00:34:36,805 You've invited them to the table, right? 975 00:34:36,905 --> 00:34:38,125 To partake of this kind 976 00:34:38,125 --> 00:34:39,565 of great environment that we're having. 977 00:34:40,185 --> 00:34:43,565 Um, and so, um, so just, you know, these don't have 978 00:34:43,565 --> 00:34:44,565 to be very complex things. 979 00:34:44,565 --> 00:34:46,645 They can be very simple little things you do just 980 00:34:46,645 --> 00:34:49,325 to ask yourself, how is it that we can invite the brothers 981 00:34:49,345 --> 00:34:51,525 to engage in kind of very meaningful ways? 982 00:34:51,945 --> 00:34:53,845 - That's powerful, that invitation, right? 983 00:34:53,865 --> 00:34:56,365 That's a, that's a model that we've been taught for, 984 00:34:56,785 --> 00:34:59,045 for centuries, so that we need to employ more and more. 985 00:34:59,305 --> 00:35:03,005 So, um, alright, Aaron, any other concept point, principle, 986 00:35:03,425 --> 00:35:05,645 uh, that you wanna make sure we cover before we wrap up? 987 00:35:06,545 --> 00:35:09,045 - No. Um, just, just one last thought here. 988 00:35:09,505 --> 00:35:11,565 If, if we think about this going, going back to 989 00:35:11,565 --> 00:35:13,965 that article I wrote, you know, ministering is love. 990 00:35:14,585 --> 00:35:17,805 Um, I, I really believe that if we talk about, for example, 991 00:35:17,805 --> 00:35:21,445 missionary work, so we, we, you know, we, we talk, in fact, 992 00:35:21,455 --> 00:35:22,965 we've got a lesson I'm gonna teach next week 993 00:35:22,965 --> 00:35:24,725 that's called the Three msms, you know, 994 00:35:24,965 --> 00:35:26,125 ministering Missionary Work and 995 00:35:26,125 --> 00:35:27,405 Mighty Change of Heart, right? 996 00:35:27,945 --> 00:35:31,525 Um, um, they're all interconnected, you know, as, 997 00:35:31,665 --> 00:35:34,925 as we begin to show love for each other, it's much, 998 00:35:34,925 --> 00:35:37,285 much more simple to actually show love for people 999 00:35:37,285 --> 00:35:38,325 who are in our communities. 1000 00:35:38,385 --> 00:35:41,965 We want to engage in as we as we know, you know, um, uh, 1001 00:35:42,355 --> 00:35:44,645 love share and invite that whole model of love share. 1002 00:35:44,645 --> 00:35:46,645 You notice that that first thing is love, right? 1003 00:35:46,915 --> 00:35:49,965 It's the beginning of what we say this missionary mantra is. 1004 00:35:49,965 --> 00:35:51,965 Well, I would suggest that that is not necessarily only a 1005 00:35:51,965 --> 00:35:54,765 missionary mantra, but it's also a ministering mantra 1006 00:35:54,865 --> 00:35:56,485 and it's a discipleship mantra. 1007 00:35:57,065 --> 00:35:58,405 Um, we do this with our children, right? 1008 00:35:58,405 --> 00:36:00,725 We love our children, we share things with them, right? 1009 00:36:00,725 --> 00:36:01,925 And we invite them to do things. 1010 00:36:01,955 --> 00:36:03,565 This is should be a very natural thing. 1011 00:36:03,565 --> 00:36:04,605 I thought, I've always thought 1012 00:36:04,605 --> 00:36:06,525 that was a very inspired way to, to think about this. 1013 00:36:07,025 --> 00:36:09,885 So, so I actually see this as a beginning point, 1014 00:36:09,945 --> 00:36:12,645 not an end point for lots of other things that will happen. 1015 00:36:13,045 --> 00:36:15,485 I think as the Lord guides our award forward, 1016 00:36:15,785 --> 00:36:16,885 as he guides us in ways 1017 00:36:16,885 --> 00:36:19,085 that we can engage in the missionary efforts 1018 00:36:19,265 --> 00:36:21,525 as he guides us in ways that we have this new temple coming, 1019 00:36:21,825 --> 00:36:24,165 as we have opportunities to invite people to engage in 1020 00:36:24,165 --> 00:36:26,925 that in our community and in our ward members to engage in 1021 00:36:26,925 --> 00:36:29,005 that tremendous opportunity when it arrives. 1022 00:36:30,485 --> 00:36:33,965 I really, in my view, the Lord prepares us in stages. 1023 00:36:34,435 --> 00:36:36,445 It's line upon line and pre upon precept. 1024 00:36:36,665 --> 00:36:38,205 So I see this as just the beginning 1025 00:36:38,225 --> 00:36:40,805 of many other wonderful things that he wants to have happen. 1026 00:36:40,905 --> 00:36:41,965 And, and I feel blessed 1027 00:36:42,465 --> 00:36:44,205 as I saw the previous presidency serve. 1028 00:36:44,645 --> 00:36:46,405 I don't think this would've worked if I hadn't have been 1029 00:36:46,405 --> 00:36:47,485 able to build upon what the last 1030 00:36:47,485 --> 00:36:48,525 presidency had already done. 1031 00:36:49,105 --> 00:36:50,405 And so, and then when I'm released, 1032 00:36:50,405 --> 00:36:52,565 the next president will have some other inspiration 1033 00:36:52,565 --> 00:36:54,045 that will take them in a direction 1034 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:55,325 that will build upon what we've done. 1035 00:36:55,625 --> 00:36:58,325 And so I think we're in this kind of great chain of efforts 1036 00:36:58,465 --> 00:36:59,605 as one leader comes in 1037 00:36:59,605 --> 00:37:01,125 and the next leader finds some inspiration 1038 00:37:01,225 --> 00:37:02,485 and we each build upon each other. 1039 00:37:02,665 --> 00:37:03,765 And I just see, and, 1040 00:37:03,945 --> 00:37:06,885 and happy to be just a kind of a small part of, of that kind 1041 00:37:06,885 --> 00:37:09,805 of chain of action the Lord's doing in our ward. 1042 00:37:10,435 --> 00:37:12,365 - Yeah. Now it is a modern day miracle. 1043 00:37:12,525 --> 00:37:13,525 I mean, when you sit back and, 1044 00:37:13,525 --> 00:37:15,725 and look at it all that it's just remarkable 1045 00:37:15,785 --> 00:37:16,965 how this lay ministry works. 1046 00:37:17,315 --> 00:37:20,365 Everybody sort of takes their turn in different stations 1047 00:37:20,425 --> 00:37:23,245 and, but nonetheless, we're all progressing, you know, 1048 00:37:23,485 --> 00:37:26,485 together the organization is, is developing as a whole, 1049 00:37:26,555 --> 00:37:27,805 even though we're, we're maybe 1050 00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:29,165 shifting around in those parts. 1051 00:37:29,265 --> 00:37:30,525 So, powerful stuff. That's right. 1052 00:37:31,075 --> 00:37:32,885 Well, Aaron, this has been, uh, awesome. 1053 00:37:33,025 --> 00:37:35,325 We will link to the article if people want to dig in, 1054 00:37:35,385 --> 00:37:36,925 uh, even further there. 1055 00:37:37,025 --> 00:37:39,245 Uh, and you've also, uh, was it you 1056 00:37:39,245 --> 00:37:41,005 and your wife wrote a book for Desert book? 1057 00:37:41,355 --> 00:37:42,725 - Yeah, we did. We did. We wrote a, 1058 00:37:42,725 --> 00:37:44,645 a book called the Discovering Your Temple Insights. 1059 00:37:44,825 --> 00:37:47,325 Uh, you know, we were we were trapped in the house 1060 00:37:47,325 --> 00:37:49,125 during Covid and, and, uh, we had a lot 1061 00:37:49,125 --> 00:37:50,245 of time on our hands, , and we, 1062 00:37:50,345 --> 00:37:51,485 we, we were missing the temple. 1063 00:37:51,745 --> 00:37:53,925 And, uh, we just started writing down some of the thoughts 1064 00:37:53,925 --> 00:37:55,805 and things that we learned and, and what we realized is 1065 00:37:55,805 --> 00:37:58,245 that many of the books on the temple were kind 1066 00:37:58,245 --> 00:38:00,325 of about the temple, and there wasn't really one 1067 00:38:00,325 --> 00:38:01,525 that said, how do I learn from it? 1068 00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:04,205 And so we decided to kind of take this view of, okay, how, 1069 00:38:04,545 --> 00:38:06,405 how do I actually get more out of our temple worship? 1070 00:38:06,585 --> 00:38:08,645 And so it's, it's been a blessing for us and, 1071 00:38:08,645 --> 00:38:09,845 and we've gotten some great feedback. 1072 00:38:09,845 --> 00:38:11,685 So we're, we feel blessed to have contributed to that. 1073 00:38:12,115 --> 00:38:15,525 - Nice. Love it. Well, um, we'll definitely link to that 1074 00:38:15,665 --> 00:38:18,245 and we appreciate, uh, hearing more and more from Texas 1075 00:38:18,465 --> 00:38:19,645 and, you know, just such a, 1076 00:38:19,845 --> 00:38:21,685 a strong stake in Zion down there. 1077 00:38:22,345 --> 00:38:24,325 And, uh, last question I have for you, Aaron, is 1078 00:38:24,325 --> 00:38:26,245 as you reflect on your time as a leader, 1079 00:38:26,505 --> 00:38:28,405 how has being a leader helped you become a better 1080 00:38:28,405 --> 00:38:29,725 follower of Jesus Christ? 1081 00:38:31,055 --> 00:38:34,045 - Great question. I, so the, the, the, the scripture 1082 00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:37,325 that comes to my mind from the Savior, um, he said, 1083 00:38:37,405 --> 00:38:41,085 I do nothing but the will of my father, um, as a leader. 1084 00:38:41,425 --> 00:38:44,125 Um, I, my, my most powerful experiences have, 1085 00:38:44,125 --> 00:38:46,285 have been when I've submitted my will to 1086 00:38:46,285 --> 00:38:48,525 what my heavenly Father wants for the people, uh, 1087 00:38:48,525 --> 00:38:49,605 over whom I have stewardship. 1088 00:38:50,265 --> 00:38:54,245 And when you have that kind of a, a humble, um, 1089 00:38:54,425 --> 00:38:56,765 and submissive, um, kind of way of being a leader, 1090 00:38:56,955 --> 00:38:58,605 that actually helps you as a follower 'cause, 1091 00:38:58,805 --> 00:39:00,605 'cause each of us are disciples of Jesus Christ 1092 00:39:00,605 --> 00:39:02,525 and in our own personal lives, um, 1093 00:39:02,525 --> 00:39:03,765 we have to submit to his will. 1094 00:39:03,785 --> 00:39:06,605 And so that has actually been just a powerful concept 1095 00:39:06,605 --> 00:39:08,045 that has helped me both as a leader 1096 00:39:08,385 --> 00:39:11,205 and then most certainly as a disciple of Jesus Christ. 1097 00:39:20,105 --> 00:39:22,845 - And that concludes this how I lead interview. 1098 00:39:23,165 --> 00:39:25,325 I hope you enjoyed it. And, uh, I would ask you, 1099 00:39:25,325 --> 00:39:27,845 could you take a minute and drop this link in an email, 1100 00:39:27,905 --> 00:39:29,685 on social media, in a text, 1101 00:39:30,365 --> 00:39:32,445 wherever it makes the most sense, and share it with somebody 1102 00:39:32,445 --> 00:39:34,845 who could relate to this, this experience. 1103 00:39:35,025 --> 00:39:38,405 And this is how we, how we develop as leaders, just hearing 1104 00:39:38,405 --> 00:39:40,725 what the other guy's doing, trying some things out, testing, 1105 00:39:40,915 --> 00:39:42,525 adjusting for your area. 1106 00:39:42,745 --> 00:39:44,765 And, uh, that's, that's 1107 00:39:44,765 --> 00:39:46,325 where great leadership's discovered, right? 1108 00:39:46,325 --> 00:39:49,165 So we would love to have you, uh, share this with, uh, 1109 00:39:49,405 --> 00:39:50,445 somebody in this calling 1110 00:39:50,545 --> 00:39:53,005 or a related calling and that would be great. 1111 00:39:53,305 --> 00:39:56,245 And also, if you know somebody, uh, any type of leader 1112 00:39:56,505 --> 00:39:59,085 who would be a fantastic guest on the How I Lead segment, 1113 00:39:59,425 --> 00:40:00,485 uh, reach out to us. 1114 00:40:00,505 --> 00:40:02,325 Go to leading saints.org/contact. 1115 00:40:02,615 --> 00:40:05,245 Maybe send this in individual an email letting them know 1116 00:40:05,245 --> 00:40:07,405 that you're going to be suggesting their name 1117 00:40:07,705 --> 00:40:08,725 for this interview. 1118 00:40:08,825 --> 00:40:10,445 We will reach out to them and, 1119 00:40:10,545 --> 00:40:12,045 uh, see if we can line 'em up. 1120 00:40:12,045 --> 00:40:14,285 So again, go to leading saints.org/contact 1121 00:40:14,705 --> 00:40:16,565 and there you can submit all the information 1122 00:40:16,905 --> 00:40:19,725 and let us know, and maybe they will be on a feature How I 1123 00:40:19,725 --> 00:40:21,605 lead Segment on the Leading Saints podcast. 1124 00:40:22,565 --> 00:40:24,725 Remember, learn more about disclosing betrayal from Jeff 1125 00:40:24,875 --> 00:40:28,325 Streger by visiting leading saints.org/fourteen. 1126 00:40:37,665 --> 00:40:40,725 - It came as a result of the position of leadership, 1127 00:40:40,725 --> 00:40:44,845 which was imposed upon us by the God of Heaven, 1128 00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:48,125 who brought forth a restoration of the gospel 1129 00:40:48,345 --> 00:40:49,685 of Jesus Christ. 1130 00:40:50,265 --> 00:40:53,845 And when the Declaration was made concerning, the only 1131 00:40:53,945 --> 00:40:55,005 and only true 1132 00:40:55,025 --> 00:40:57,565 and living church upon the face of the earth, 1133 00:40:58,225 --> 00:41:01,565 we were immediately put in a position of loneliness. 1134 00:41:01,825 --> 00:41:05,645 The loneliness of leadership from which we cannot 1135 00:41:05,865 --> 00:41:07,285 shrink nor run away. 1136 00:41:08,505 --> 00:41:12,365 And to which we must face up with boldness and courage 1137 00:41:13,185 --> 00:41:13,805 and ability.