1 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,380 Hey, humans. How's it going? Susan, Ruth here. Thanks. 2 00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:14,420 Listening to another episode of Hey Human Podcast. 3 00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:18,300 This is episode 364, 4 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,940 and I had a conversation with Sheena Brook. 5 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,900 Sheena is a powerhouse of resilience In 6 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:30,820 2022, hurricane Ian destroyed her home as a teen, 7 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,980 she endured gay conversion therapy. 8 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:38,460 Sheena comes back stronger from every obstacle thrown in her way. 9 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:43,580 The performing artist songwriter is a full-time tour musician and was 10 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:47,980 team Adam on NBC's The Voice. She's pint sized, 11 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:53,140 but I mean, when I say powerhouse, she's a powerhouse. She's whip smart, 12 00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:58,020 she's determined, she's funny as all get out. She's sweet as can be. 13 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,740 And we had just such an, a really interesting, beautiful conversation. 14 00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:06,300 We talk about shame and family and love and kindness, 15 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:11,380 and finding strength to be comfortable in one's own skin and just, 16 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:15,700 she's rad. So I'm really excited for you to hear this episode. 17 00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:19,780 Check out hey human podcast.com for links. 18 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:24,100 And to learn more about my guests and the show, check out Susan ruth.com. 19 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:28,940 To learn more about me and my other artistic endeavors, follow Susan Ruth ism. 20 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:33,460 And hey, human podcast on social media. Find my albums on Spotify, 21 00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:37,300 apple music, Amazon music, wherever you get your music. 22 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,940 And look for my album. All I ever wanted was everything. 23 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:46,220 Please check out my relationships and sex show with sexologist and healthcare 24 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:49,180 practitioner, Amara Edelman. It's on YouTube under Are We There yet? 25 00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:52,460 Podcast show rate review, subscribe to Hey, 26 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:55,740 human podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast. 27 00:01:56,020 --> 00:02:00,900 I wanna say specially thank you to the reviews that have come in 28 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:05,580 recently. There've been some really lovely messages, and I'm just, 29 00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:08,660 it makes my day every time I read one, so thank you so much for that. 30 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,580 And I just finished the Ted Lasso season finale, 31 00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:17,140 which of course I twittered about because I'm a nerd. And I, you know, 32 00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:21,700 had to talk about my feelings on Twitter about Ted lasso. 33 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:26,660 Wow, what a show. And it, in order to just even handle the season finale, 34 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,340 just of it ending, because it, it meant so much to me, uh, 35 00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:31,380 over the past three years. 36 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,540 It came out at a time when I think we were all feeling quite alone. 37 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,500 And it was such a ray of hope in such a dark time. 38 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,140 And to have it end was just, it was like saying goodbye to an old friend, 39 00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:48,020 a new old friend, a a friend that you meet that is new, 40 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,500 but you felt like you've known your whole life. You know what I'm saying? 41 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:51,860 Anyway, I, 42 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:56,300 I went back and I watched the first episode or the first season and what did a 43 00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:59,620 light, anyway, just wanted to get that out there. All right. 44 00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:04,340 Thank you for listening. Be well, be kind, be love, 45 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:09,220 be supportive of each other. You know, we are all in this together. 46 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,900 Uh, just the more we put the good stuff into the world, 47 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:18,820 the stronger the good stuff will be, you know? So let's keep fighting for that. 48 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:23,830 All right, here we go. Sheena Brook, welcome to Hey, human. 49 00:03:24,610 --> 00:03:25,443 Hi. 50 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:26,513 Hello. 51 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:27,793 How's it going? 52 00:03:28,210 --> 00:03:29,630 Pretty good. How's it going with, you. 53 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,670 Know, chaotic, but great. Same. 54 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:33,503 Same. 55 00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:38,580 It's, uh, chaos. Here we have two puppies, 56 00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:44,420 which is like great and so much joy, but also like, what are we doing? 57 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,810 They're siblings. They're so cute. Like, so cute. 58 00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:51,850 And they've really given my wife so much joy. Golden retrievers. Oh. 59 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,090 Lord. So they're super high energy. 60 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,570 Yeah, they actually, because they have each other. Well, we had one, 61 00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:02,730 we got one Uhhuh . We used to have two golden retrievers. 62 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:05,490 We lost the last of the two March 1st. 63 00:04:06,230 --> 00:04:07,063 I'm sorry. 64 00:04:07,190 --> 00:04:09,050 Oh, thank you. It was like, tough. And we were like, 65 00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:13,180 we're not getting another dog. And then, um, our friend said, 66 00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:15,500 will you help me pick out a golden retriever? Because. 67 00:04:16,180 --> 00:04:17,013 . 68 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,980 He loves the dog, loved our dog and wants one. So, 69 00:04:20,980 --> 00:04:23,700 and we ended up going home with one too, which is fine. 70 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,900 And then the breeder called us and said, no one, 71 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,380 no one is wants this dog like he's big boy. But he said, they said, no, 72 00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:34,180 you know, no one really, do you guys want him? And we were like, well, yeah, 73 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:37,620 we're not gonna, and it's actually been better because she, 74 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:38,700 they wear themselves out. 75 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:44,460 All right, let's get into it. You and I met in the Key West Songwriter festival. 76 00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:45,653 Festivities. 77 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,140 Yes. In a pool. It was great. 78 00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:48,973 In a pool. Yeah. 79 00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:51,340 What a break from life. It was really great. 80 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:56,500 It was a needed break. Yeah. And our mutually adored, uh, 81 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,540 friend Megan Myrick love so much. 82 00:05:00,010 --> 00:05:03,060 Your story I followed before I ever met you. 83 00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:07,980 I did not even realize you were the same Sheena when hurricane hit 84 00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:10,820 Florida and all this chaos was happening. 85 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,980 And Megs was putting up video saying, 86 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,900 my friend's house is underwater and holy crap. 87 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,260 All this stuff that when we met, when we were in the pool in water, 88 00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:26,940 ironically that I said, wait a minute. Actually, 89 00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:29,260 I think it occurred to me when we were walking, I'd said, wait a minute. 90 00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:30,980 You're the, you're the Sheena, you're. 91 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,140 The person, you're that Sheena, you're that hurricane girl. 92 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:38,060 But before we get into all that fun trauma, let's start with just the, 93 00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:40,580 the basics. Where are you from? Did you grow up in Florida? 94 00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:46,340 I actually was born here in Fort Myers, um, Fort Myers, 95 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:51,140 Florida. And I moved to Atlanta like briefly, uh, after I came out. 96 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,060 And then I, I ended up coming back. Um, but yeah, 97 00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:57,540 I was born and raised in Florida. I'm a definite Florida girl. 98 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,540 Was there a reason that you felt you couldn't stay in Florida after you came 99 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:04,140 out? Or was it just by happenstance that you went to Atlanta? 100 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,780 Um, yeah, I think it, there was, 101 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:11,180 it was a much needed like reprieve from my hometown coming out. 102 00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:13,300 Like was a pretty tumultuous for me. 103 00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:18,980 I grew up pretty religious. Uh, my parents were really, um, 104 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:22,460 avid churchgoers and really believed in that system. 105 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,420 And so when I was about 16, I, uh, 106 00:06:27,060 --> 00:06:30,300 I met a girl I liked and all that and people found out and I had to do 107 00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:34,100 conversion therapy. It's interesting too cause like I'm at my parents, right, 108 00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:37,300 right now cuz it's the quietest place because they've come a long way. 109 00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:42,220 I think people believe what they're told to believe a lot of times, which in, 110 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,660 in that circumstance, when they told me Something's wrong with you, 111 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,540 you need counseling, I went, okay. And then my parents did the same thing. 112 00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:52,420 I actually just started calling it conversion therapy cuz that was hard to, 113 00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:55,660 a hard pill to swallow to understand that that's what I went through for so many 114 00:06:55,660 --> 00:07:00,340 years to undo and erase who I was and that. And so I did that. 115 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:05,260 I ended up going to bible college. Uh, I was ordained, I got married, 116 00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,460 I did all the things I was told to do. Married. 117 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,290 To a man. 118 00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:10,123 Yeah, to a man. 119 00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:14,300 Firstly, let's go back a little bit. Okay. Cause that's a lot all at once. 120 00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:18,340 , if you're comfortable talking about it. Yeah, I am. I'm curious, 121 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,780 at what point were you starting to realize, oh, 122 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,980 I'm not what everybody is, says I'm supposed to be. 123 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,740 You know, people rarely ask me that question cuz there's so much trauma loaded 124 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,900 behind coming out that you forget, like that, that initial experience to know, 125 00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:41,020 I think I've always been like drawn to, to girls and women and all of that. 126 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,660 I think I grew up a little sheltered and a little young. 127 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,860 My wife always says that even though I was born as a nineties baby, 128 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:52,900 I'm a two thousands baby because I grew up a little later, much more naive. 129 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:57,420 And so I wa you know, I think I just met this girl, 130 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,200 I think it was eighth grade because it was the ninth grade that I started 131 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:01,960 getting, 132 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:06,160 I started conversion therapy and like all of that cuz it kind of came out and 133 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,880 all that. Cuz I was, I was really involved in church too. 134 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,400 So you couldn't do anything. I couldn't do anything without, you know, being. 135 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,200 Taught. So did somebody find out then, or did you say to your parents, Hey, 136 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:16,910 I like girls. 137 00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:20,520 Yeah, they found out cuz I was just here, here's how it happened. 138 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,920 Which is really, really awful when you're trying to figure out who you are. 139 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:28,920 We were young like at a youth group trip, 140 00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:33,360 just like having a great time. And when I say like minimal physicality, 141 00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:35,200 like I always make the joke that like, 142 00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:38,120 if I was gonna get in as much trouble as I got in over the years, 143 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,040 I should have like fucked everyone. Yeah. Like everybody. 144 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,920 Because I got in enough trouble so that I should have been just, you know, 145 00:08:46,930 --> 00:08:51,500 very promiscuous. And, uh, so, but I wasn't, I was, I was, uh, 146 00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:55,970 I definitely tried to do what I, I was told all the time. 147 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,210 And so we were like hanging all over each other 148 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,360 and they thought that was, I don't, 149 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,600 I cannot even recall cuz it's so intermingled with all this, 150 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,720 I can't even recall if we had kissed yet or anything. 151 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:14,560 But we were hanging all over each other at an event just being lovey-dovey. 152 00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:17,760 And so, uh, the pastor pulled us into a meeting. 153 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:23,440 So he has a door and I wait outside while he inter basically 154 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,920 interviews her and then she goes outside and then I go inside. 155 00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:31,320 And they did that about four or five times to one of us, like cracked, uh, 156 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,480 crying, saying, I mean, I have feelings for her, but like, 157 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,480 I don't know what that means. And, and then it's like, okay, 158 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:42,440 well God hates that and you're broken and now you need counseling. And, 159 00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:44,560 and so, and then we did that and I, 160 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:47,240 and I do remember one of the things I recall the most about those moments is, 161 00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:50,600 uh, um, I started counseling and you know, I'm a young person. 162 00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:54,800 I'm like kind of helping with church and doing all this stuff and I'm like, 163 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,120 okay, well how do I know if God healed me? And they said, we'll tell you. 164 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:00,353 I don't know why. 165 00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:03,920 Of all the things that always like strikes out in my mind because it's like 166 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:09,270 a lot of people live their lives with someone telling them when they're okay 167 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,910 telling. Like, I'll tell you when you're okay, I'll tell you when you're healed, 168 00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:14,550 I'll tell you when you've made enough money. I'll say, 169 00:10:14,550 --> 00:10:17,590 no one can tell you any of that shit, but yourself. And, 170 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:21,430 and learning to like love yourself is a huge journey. 171 00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:26,270 Whether you're gay or straight or bi or asexual or whatever 172 00:10:26,270 --> 00:10:29,750 your situation in life is, whether it involves sexuality or doesn't, 173 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:32,470 that is a difficult journey I think for all of us. 174 00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:37,790 The audacity of a pastor coming to you and doing that 175 00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:39,750 is insane to me. 176 00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:41,750 I love that word because like, 177 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:45,630 you cannot get me started on the word audacity because now as a person, so, 178 00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:49,670 so after all of that, I went to Bible college, I got ordained, I got married, 179 00:10:49,790 --> 00:10:50,623 I was in ministry. 180 00:10:51,130 --> 00:10:54,830 And so with all of this knowledge and then all of the uh, 181 00:10:55,180 --> 00:11:00,110 kind of rub cuz I've always struggled with the viewpoints of this 182 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,510 organized church and get, and I got in trouble for all kinds. 183 00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:04,750 I got in trouble for bad opinions. I got in trouble for being gay. 184 00:11:05,370 --> 00:11:07,710 And the word audacity, 185 00:11:07,770 --> 00:11:12,590 the audacity to think I know what God's saying just alone. 186 00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:15,310 It just blows my mind now at this point. 187 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,150 And just how religion has come, 188 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:24,510 which is like a whole separate podcast because like, you know, it's like I, 189 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:27,470 I swear I could talk about it all day cuz it's like, 190 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:32,150 it's just something that blows my mind about this person I used to be and this 191 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:36,470 strong belief system and this and the, and the belief in Jesus and the, 192 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:40,390 and and being saved and Christianity and then to now to where like, 193 00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:41,550 I don't know, 194 00:11:41,550 --> 00:11:45,230 maybe I feel that way on a Tuesday and then maybe I think I'm an atheist because 195 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:47,910 how can God exist with all of this in the world? 196 00:11:48,890 --> 00:11:53,420 And then you think about Christianity as a whole and how opposite it is from the 197 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:57,540 story of Christ, which is the biggest thread in, 198 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,940 in that story is a story of acceptance, of nonviolence, 199 00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:05,430 of like, you know, giving, 200 00:12:06,210 --> 00:12:09,630 giving away what you have and not holding onto it. 201 00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:13,710 And I just feel like Christianity is all mega churches and guns. 202 00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:16,470 So that's pretty much the opposite of that. You know. 203 00:12:16,630 --> 00:12:18,950 I, I feel the plot has been lost about yeah. 204 00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:23,950 for the underdog and helping those in need and all of that. For sure. 205 00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:28,230 Can are you comfortable talking about what conversion therapy was like? 206 00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:32,710 It's so weird because it's also the reason I have so many, 207 00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,670 when when you start thinking about these things, 208 00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:37,950 it's has so much to do with some principles I have now, 209 00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:41,910 which is that how life is. Like when I, um, 210 00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:45,430 I recently started therapy after the loss of my friend. I, 211 00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:47,510 I keep dumping things on you. Uh, 212 00:12:47,610 --> 00:12:51,790 and I was like adamant that they needed like a doctorate. 213 00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:55,270 I would not see a counselor and there are some wonderful counselors out there, 214 00:12:55,890 --> 00:13:00,270 but the reason is because my conversion therapy was with some woman 215 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,370 that took a weekend class to become a counselor. 216 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:10,050 And it's like you are not equipped or educated enough to 217 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:15,410 help someone that is really struggling. Me or anyone, 218 00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:18,770 you know, a woman who lost her child or whatever. Whoever you're counseling, 219 00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:21,610 you do not have the equipment to do that. So it's pretty, 220 00:13:22,130 --> 00:13:24,890 I don't recall a whole lot of it to be honest. 221 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:29,290 Just a lot of like sitting in a room feeling worthless. 222 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:34,710 That is the predominant memory is just feeling and them just trying to search 223 00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:35,100 for things. 224 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:38,670 Well your parents must love your brother more than you and I've never felt that. 225 00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:43,070 So I think that's bologna. You know, I'm being so nice. 226 00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:47,310 I said baloney instead of bullshit. I think it's my mom's house. Like, so yeah, 227 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:49,390 that's kind of all I remember about it to be honest. 228 00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:53,390 And I did it at 16 and then they got like bored with me 229 00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:57,110 or busy. And then again at 21, um, 230 00:13:57,110 --> 00:14:00,830 I had counseling again because I actually was really involved in church. 231 00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:03,750 I'd been through all of that. Um, like the worship leader, 232 00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:08,830 it's a several hundred person church and I go 233 00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:10,310 to the youth pastor and I say, 234 00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:12,350 I'm just like struggling cuz you want me to be this leader, 235 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:14,750 but I just don't feel like this is who I am. 236 00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:16,230 I really have feelings for this girl. 237 00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:20,750 You guys want me to marry this pastor guy cuz they're very involved in your 238 00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:21,450 life, you know? 239 00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:26,350 And so I told her that in confidence and she told the whole staff in a meeting 240 00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:31,850 and then they pulled me out and then he fired me after that from 241 00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:33,490 the, from my job cuz I was a worship leader, 242 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:36,650 which in the end is kind of the best thing that ever happened to me. . 243 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,530 Well of course, but the idea too, um, 244 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:44,370 the whole point of being able to talk to a pastor or a priest or a rabbi 245 00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:44,790 or, 246 00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:49,690 or an Iman or any of that stuff is that they are keeping in confidence 247 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,740 what you are telling them. It's. 248 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:56,860 But the, I think the, the meat and potatoes of what organized religion is, 249 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,820 is it is a business designed to protect itself. 250 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,620 And unfortunately I think people that start with the best of intentions, 251 00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:10,980 I wanna get these people together, I wanna share the gospel of Christ, 252 00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:13,940 which is to feed the hungry and love the widow 253 00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:19,830 and then we need to pay rent because we got a building because this building is 254 00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:24,280 really nice and then now we gotta take and then now, and it all just kind of, 255 00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:27,600 to me, hasn't it spiral snowballs from there. 256 00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:32,720 But that is obviously an opinion based on in my lens from my experience. 257 00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:36,800 How does one wrap their head around completely 258 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,520 shutting out an identity. I mean that's, 259 00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:44,320 that's the thing that I find so traumatizing on, 260 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:48,520 on your behalf even. But it's just traumatizing to hear that, 261 00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:55,000 how are you supposed to go from who I am and now I'm gonna go be this other 262 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,400 person just to satisfy your church. 263 00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,160 I think that that is the 264 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:05,140 reason we hold prides. The reason we have events, 265 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:10,620 the reason I speak so loudly about being gay is because 266 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,700 if someone would've told me it's okay to be me, 267 00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,380 I might have had a different life experience. 268 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:21,000 If one person in my life would've said, fuck be you. 269 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,410 I might have had a different experience because, 270 00:16:24,510 --> 00:16:27,450 and I don't regret that or take it back cause I'm who I am because of it. 271 00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:31,890 But the danger of that is I completely erased my identity. 272 00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:34,890 I replaced it with who they wanted me to be. I got married, 273 00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:39,090 I was in a awful abusive relationship because of that. 274 00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:43,570 So there's no health there. And then I got to a point where it was just, 275 00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:49,290 I was so dark that I was really suicidal and I actually 276 00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:50,450 went and talked to my cousin. 277 00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:54,690 I had been married for four years and I talked to my cousin who I was like best 278 00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:57,610 friends with at the time. And I said, I, I just feel like 279 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:04,200 so broken and not myself that I need to probably put a bullet in 280 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:08,960 my head or I have to change my life. And she said, well, don't do anything 281 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,870 because it just doesn't seem like you should do anything. 282 00:17:13,890 --> 00:17:16,590 And that was just like all her advice, which, you know, 283 00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:19,380 you can sense that a sense of like, 284 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,300 and maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but like in my, 285 00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:28,970 I felt like that advice wasn't about me because then afterwards, 286 00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:32,690 before I even came out, I got divorced, I said, you know, I'm unhappy. 287 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,850 This person is toxic and awful and, 288 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:39,730 and abusive and like I cannot be around them anymore. Um, 289 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,970 and just really manipulative type of, you know, 290 00:17:44,070 --> 00:17:47,650 we became like pastors of a church and how we looked was, it was just awful and, 291 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:51,490 you know, very possessive, you belong to me, that kind of thing. I was like, 292 00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:55,010 I gotta get out of this. And um, 293 00:17:56,210 --> 00:17:59,130 I just, after I did get divorced or I started that, she's like, 294 00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:00,930 well it's not like you left him, you left all of us. 295 00:18:01,550 --> 00:18:05,610 I'm like that that is the nature of the most that that is what I always sensed 296 00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:09,250 from that point is this selfish stuff. And you know, unconditional love, 297 00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:12,210 I just think says, it doesn't matter how it affects me. 298 00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,320 Are you happy because you deserve to be happy 299 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:21,480 and that's it. There aren't really any, and when parents ask me how do I, 300 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,160 you know, my kid came out or my kid is nonbinary, I don't know. 301 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,800 And I keep getting it wrong and it's like, it's okay to get wrong. 302 00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:31,160 All you all any person wants is someone to say, I don't care. 303 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,200 Are you happy? I want you to be happy. If I get it wrong, 304 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,680 tell me I got it wrong. I'll my best to fix it. That's it. 305 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,840 Just support to get it right. 306 00:18:39,550 --> 00:18:40,383 Lead with love. 307 00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:42,840 Lead with love. It's, it is not rocking science. 308 00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:44,343 Yeah. 309 00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:46,000 But, so that's kind of how. 310 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:50,920 Did the walls come tumbling down then when you got out of that relationship and 311 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,680 you said, it's time for me to be me. 312 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,930 He was pretty mad and, uh, 313 00:18:57,140 --> 00:19:01,600 upset and it was, uh, he would like follow me around. I, 314 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,760 I kind of moved out with just a little bit of things and stayed at my parents. 315 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,040 Nobody kind of believed me until that point. 316 00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:14,080 And I'm at my mom's and she lets him in the house 317 00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:18,200 and he comes in the bedroom, shuts the door and locks it and she's like, 318 00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:22,720 won't let her in. And then I'm at my friend's house, a girl I liked. 319 00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:27,360 He's like outside all night long, just follow me around. All that kind of stuff. 320 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,040 I don't know, it was tough. It's actually not, uh, his, 321 00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:34,680 his family started a rumor that the reason we were, 322 00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:39,640 that I was divorcing him is because I had a demon and they said that they were 323 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,040 gonna come find me in the streets and pa the demon outta me. 324 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:46,680 And so I ran out of clothes, I went back to get clothes. 325 00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:49,200 This is like one of my most vivid memories. 326 00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:53,800 And I asked my parents to come with me and you know, they, 327 00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:58,250 they like didn't really know. I, I don't know, everything was very hidden. 328 00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:03,330 And so I go in there and somehow I still to this day don't know how he 329 00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:06,090 found out he was supposed to be at work that I was there in the house. 330 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:11,740 I went back to our house to just get a couple of things and um, 331 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:17,910 and he's like, comes in the door, I, I'm like, okay, what, 332 00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,230 what I have is enough, we gotta go. 333 00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:21,590 And he stands in front of me so I can't get out of the door. 334 00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:22,590 My parents are sitting down, 335 00:20:22,590 --> 00:20:26,510 he tells my parents to shut up because I'm his wife and he needs to talk to me, 336 00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:30,030 puts his finger in my face and starts praying in tongues. 337 00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:36,050 And it was pretty cringy at this point. I'm like, man, uh, but I just stopped. 338 00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:38,970 I said, are you gonna physically hold me here in front of my parents? 339 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,130 And he said No. I said, okay, I'm ready to go. 340 00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:43,490 And I walked out the door and you know, I don't, 341 00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:46,170 I don't think I've seen him since that day. And, and he, I don't have, 342 00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:49,180 I have no idea if he lives in this town. Some, some of my family, 343 00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:53,300 I still like connected to him, connected to the church I grew up in. 344 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,860 And so I just decided like any of that connection is not healthy for me and I'm 345 00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:57,980 out. So I don't know. 346 00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:00,450 Are your parents still part of the church? 347 00:21:01,070 --> 00:21:04,210 Not that church. They actually got away from all that for a little bit. 348 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,650 Kind of had like home church with, with their family a little bit. 349 00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:10,610 And now they're back at uh, a place that seems really nice. 350 00:21:10,730 --> 00:21:15,570 I think that sense of feeling and that church gives you is important 351 00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:16,403 to them. 352 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:21,450 It's interesting from, from the perspective, from the outside to think, 353 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:22,000 okay, 354 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,890 parents are supposed to love their kids unconditionally but they have outside 355 00:21:25,890 --> 00:21:29,890 forces telling them that their kid is a demon or has something wrong with them 356 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:31,970 or is broken. Yeah. And 357 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:38,460 to allow space for them to also have their own arc of 358 00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:39,460 being Yeah. 359 00:21:39,460 --> 00:21:44,180 And to learn how to come to the table if you will. 360 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:48,780 How was that for you, as you were, I'm assuming, 361 00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:53,060 hoping but not holding your breath for that to happen. 362 00:21:53,890 --> 00:21:55,500 With my mom and dad? Mm-hmm. 363 00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:56,373 . 364 00:21:56,580 --> 00:21:57,413 I don't know, like it, 365 00:21:57,420 --> 00:22:01,740 I feel like it's just like a constant journey cuz obviously there's like some 366 00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:04,660 stuff, like I said, I just started calling it conversion therapy. 367 00:22:04,860 --> 00:22:07,780 A lot of that is because I don't wanna think of my parents as people who send me 368 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:09,950 to conversion therapy, you know? 369 00:22:09,950 --> 00:22:13,310 And they bear a lot of responsibility for the trauma that I faced as a young 370 00:22:13,310 --> 00:22:17,380 person when it was their job to protect me. However, 371 00:22:18,690 --> 00:22:23,010 I think I watched them change. I watched them, you know, 372 00:22:23,030 --> 00:22:25,690 my ex-girlfriend, I think my mom said, well I don't, I wouldn't really, 373 00:22:25,810 --> 00:22:27,450 I think innocently kind of said, 374 00:22:27,450 --> 00:22:31,930 well I wouldn't think of you as my daughter-in-law because all she knows is her 375 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:34,410 construct to meeting my wife. 376 00:22:34,510 --> 00:22:38,270 Her and I have been together nine years now and immediately being different. 377 00:22:38,270 --> 00:22:41,240 Like, this is my daughter-in-law summer. You know, 378 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:46,240 because she knew that she was different. I don't know what it was about that, 379 00:22:46,340 --> 00:22:48,760 but that, you know, just the change in saying, okay, 380 00:22:48,830 --> 00:22:53,680 like this is who Sheena is and she's obviously happy and I mean 381 00:22:54,550 --> 00:22:59,050 my life's like 19,000 times better on the surface, 382 00:22:59,310 --> 00:23:03,670 not alone internally after coming out, you know? And so, 383 00:23:03,890 --> 00:23:07,270 and that's with all of the crazy shit that's happened in my life, you know? So, 384 00:23:08,050 --> 00:23:10,110 um, I think that is, I try to 385 00:23:11,620 --> 00:23:16,590 find the balance of living in a place of grace and understanding and love 386 00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:19,510 or like who they are deep, deep inside. 387 00:23:20,330 --> 00:23:24,470 And then also a place of knowing that doesn't always have to be okay. 388 00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:29,810 I can tell the truth of my past and it, 389 00:23:29,870 --> 00:23:33,110 and, and it is what it's, you know, so. 390 00:23:35,690 --> 00:23:39,290 I mean, none of us can really understand what it's like to be anybody else, 391 00:23:39,370 --> 00:23:43,690 right? Everybody's going through their own personal hell and heaven, 392 00:23:44,230 --> 00:23:47,380 you know, all at once, all the time. Yeah. Uh, 393 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,980 but you live in a place Florida where 394 00:23:54,220 --> 00:23:57,840 you are being told not only by the people around you, 395 00:23:58,380 --> 00:24:01,240 but also by your government that there's something wrong with you. 396 00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:03,120 How do you deal with that? 397 00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:08,520 It's so interesting too because I think that has been such a 398 00:24:09,250 --> 00:24:13,280 swing. Like as I become more and more of myself, 399 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:14,353 I felt like, 400 00:24:14,740 --> 00:24:18,920 and I'll play and like feel play music for a living and like play and be myself 401 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:23,480 and tell jokes and everybody's so accepting. And then like all my friends, I, 402 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,680 I did a CD release party for a song called Bad Bitches. Like Me. 403 00:24:26,940 --> 00:24:28,760 Meg and I wrote it together. My, 404 00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:33,880 the host of my event was a drag queen I know named Alexia and she's 405 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,080 wonderful. And people came to see the show and she was there. 406 00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:42,240 And then literally like a six months later or however 407 00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:46,040 long later, drag queens are evil. And, and I'm, 408 00:24:46,140 --> 00:24:49,080 I'm playing a pride that I'm actually not super available to play, 409 00:24:49,740 --> 00:24:52,280 but I was like, I have to play this pride I, 410 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,160 they asked me to play because they don't have the performers anymore because 411 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:59,920 they cannot safely have any of our drag performers, our hometown, you know, 412 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,080 drag performers perform on the main stage. 413 00:25:03,060 --> 00:25:06,240 And this group is constantly trying to get the, 414 00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:10,880 the city of Naples to revoke the permit for the pride. And I'm like, 415 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,400 I have to be a part of this. I have to be a voice. 416 00:25:13,830 --> 00:25:16,400 When we talked about moving after the hurricane, 417 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,020 one of the reasons we were like, 418 00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:24,620 I think we need to stay is because it's like if everyone moves, they win. 419 00:25:24,870 --> 00:25:29,540 There is no voice. There is no one to say, I'm sorry I exist, I am here, 420 00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:32,070 I am a Floridian and, 421 00:25:32,370 --> 00:25:35,350 and I felt like I have to make time so I'm to, 422 00:25:35,350 --> 00:25:37,430 to do this part and to be at this thing cuz it is, 423 00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:40,810 it is annoying and it is dumb. 424 00:25:41,470 --> 00:25:46,410 And it has also made me very aware of my privilege because I do songwriters 425 00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:47,403 festivals all the time, 426 00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:52,210 which are wholesome and beautiful and some lovely white family from 427 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:57,450 Indiana will give me permission because the crowd will ask 428 00:25:57,510 --> 00:26:02,030 to sing a song I have called Sit on my Face. That's the chorus of the song, 429 00:26:02,050 --> 00:26:04,590 sit on my face and tell me you love me. It's hysterical, it's pretty, 430 00:26:04,620 --> 00:26:05,453 it's whatever. 431 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:11,420 If I was anyone other than a white straight passing female, 432 00:26:12,460 --> 00:26:13,900 I would not have that privilege. 433 00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:19,970 And so now I feel even more compelled as I've realized that to 434 00:26:19,970 --> 00:26:22,970 go do something. Meanwhile, you know, uh, 435 00:26:23,330 --> 00:26:28,170 a queen comes out and sings some empowering song about being yourself by pink 436 00:26:29,290 --> 00:26:31,790 and they're shunned because what you're wearing a ball gown. 437 00:26:32,810 --> 00:26:37,270 And it just like blows my mind why any of that matters because I 438 00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:39,630 honestly don't think it actually matters to anybody. 439 00:26:39,630 --> 00:26:42,950 They're just wanting to complain about something to distract from whatever else 440 00:26:42,980 --> 00:26:47,060 they're doing. But that's a whole other conversation. But it's, yeah, 441 00:26:47,060 --> 00:26:49,540 I think it's just, it's very hard to reconcile and figure out. 442 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:54,600 But I'm just trying to do my part and tell my story, use my voice. 443 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,640 I played an event recently with all of these young, um, 444 00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:02,540 Naples kids. They're high school and below, 445 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:07,380 and it's the G l s e n Glisten Group who's recently actually been attacked in 446 00:27:07,380 --> 00:27:08,780 the media. Um, 447 00:27:08,780 --> 00:27:13,600 there's a chapter here and they asked me to play it and I I was just blown 448 00:27:13,710 --> 00:27:18,520 away cuz it's this like day event and they have these breakout sessions and 449 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:23,120 half of the sessions are about understanding the legislation that's being passed 450 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:24,080 and how it affects you. 451 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:28,810 So they're educating themselves and how to combat it with love and 452 00:27:28,810 --> 00:27:33,410 without anger and to do their best and be themselves. And I'm like, 453 00:27:33,430 --> 00:27:38,050 oh my God, I'm so angry, . You know, and then I'm going also, 454 00:27:38,170 --> 00:27:42,490 I just really doubt that any other conventions for young people 455 00:27:43,510 --> 00:27:46,930 are having that conversation. It's more like, I don't wanna bring an American, 456 00:27:46,930 --> 00:27:51,240 you know? I don't know. I don't know. Mm. It's, 457 00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,400 it's frustrating , but. 458 00:27:53,860 --> 00:27:55,800 It must have been a very empowering moment too. 459 00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:58,640 Get married to the woman you love. 460 00:28:00,170 --> 00:28:04,350 It was, it was amazing. We got married on the beach, uh, at Newton Park, 461 00:28:04,350 --> 00:28:08,390 which no longer was there. It was, my brother married us. It was incredible. 462 00:28:08,410 --> 00:28:09,243 It was interesting. 463 00:28:09,410 --> 00:28:13,570 My family that I had was no longer speaking to. 464 00:28:13,850 --> 00:28:15,890 I did invite them. I started, 465 00:28:16,730 --> 00:28:20,490 I started to stop speaking to them after our engagement because I invited them 466 00:28:20,550 --> 00:28:23,770 and they called two, two of my cousins called to say, we can't be there, 467 00:28:23,770 --> 00:28:26,450 we can't support that. Like it's disgusting, blah, blah, blah, blah. 468 00:28:26,450 --> 00:28:29,290 And I was like, oh dude. Like you could have just like not rsvp. 469 00:28:29,910 --> 00:28:34,010 It was really hurtful. And my wife, my one cousin, 470 00:28:34,050 --> 00:28:38,330 I had no idea that she felt that way when she called me and told me like, 471 00:28:38,350 --> 00:28:41,170 I'm a teacher of the word. I can't be there. I don't wanna see gay people. 472 00:28:41,270 --> 00:28:46,010 We only had like three gay friends at the time and really broke my heart. 473 00:28:46,310 --> 00:28:48,930 And I was crying. I worked at Guitar Center at the time, 474 00:28:48,930 --> 00:28:52,090 so I was sitting outside on the ledge and I told summer and summer, 475 00:28:52,090 --> 00:28:56,810 sent a text message to my family, like my mom, my cousin, that she knew people, 476 00:28:56,810 --> 00:29:01,090 she personally knew my, my other, my second cousin. So the, uh, 477 00:29:01,090 --> 00:29:03,650 this is complicated, but the one that messaged me, 478 00:29:03,790 --> 00:29:07,810 her daughter and I were really close and Summer knew her too. So her, 479 00:29:08,110 --> 00:29:11,090 my brother, my mom, and texted him and just said, 480 00:29:12,130 --> 00:29:16,990 I cannot believe you would even speak to bigoted people like this and 481 00:29:17,010 --> 00:29:18,550 let them talk to your daughter that way. 482 00:29:19,550 --> 00:29:22,790 I will not be at any of your family events. Do not invite me. I will not, 483 00:29:23,020 --> 00:29:26,110 I've never known people like this and I have no interest in knowing people like 484 00:29:26,110 --> 00:29:30,430 this. And as the first time in my whole life, 485 00:29:30,460 --> 00:29:34,940 someone stuck up for me, full grown adult. 486 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,180 And it just was like, my wife is amazing. 487 00:29:39,770 --> 00:29:43,940 Like the best thing I've ever done is marry that bride. Um, 488 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:46,790 and that moment was, 489 00:29:47,370 --> 00:29:52,230 is pivotal in my life because it didn't just go, oh, she loves me. Um, 490 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,030 which is important, but it was like, oh my God, 491 00:29:55,190 --> 00:29:57,470 I don't have to take this shit from people. 492 00:29:59,310 --> 00:30:03,820 And I think that's the thing that she's constantly kind of done for me 493 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:08,700 as my spouse, like is constantly remind me, you, you know, 494 00:30:08,700 --> 00:30:11,780 you don't have to do that. Right. You know, you don't have to agree to that. 495 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:15,940 And so I've, I've just become, I mean, she'll say it often, 496 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,100 I'm a very different person from when, when we first met, but for the better, 497 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,100 I'm stronger. I'm a much stronger person. 498 00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:24,140 She's a very strong person and I like to think that rubbed off on me a little. 499 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,820 She didn't grow up with the same bigotry around her. 500 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:33,220 No, she, I love her. She came out in an email, uh, right outta high school. 501 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:38,140 Uh, hey, I'm gay if you don't like it, get outta my life. And most people, 502 00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:41,340 everyone was like, we know we love you. . 503 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,820 Her mom and dad lived with us for a long time, for a couple years. 504 00:30:45,330 --> 00:30:47,540 They're really wonderful people. Uh, 505 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:50,500 I remember when I met her mom and I told her about some of my cousins, 506 00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:53,220 she was like, I don't know, people were like that still, just with this, 507 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:57,700 you know, beautiful. She's very rosy. Uh, beautiful outlook, loving woman. 508 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:58,660 And um, 509 00:30:58,660 --> 00:31:03,580 I imagine the two sets of parents have in inspired some growth 510 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:04,593 and change. 511 00:31:04,690 --> 00:31:07,380 Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, uh, 512 00:31:07,540 --> 00:31:12,320 I I think Summer is become a more patient person. I've become a stronger person. 513 00:31:12,990 --> 00:31:17,680 I've definitely love her mom like in a a, 514 00:31:18,790 --> 00:31:21,750 a sweet way. We have a great relationship and um, 515 00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:26,190 her dad's like 84 and he's really smart and still works. 516 00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:29,950 Like she has, her parents are great, you know, my parents are wonderful too. 517 00:31:29,950 --> 00:31:34,070 They literally give the shirt off their back to a stranger. Like they're very, 518 00:31:34,140 --> 00:31:37,110 very generous, very giving. Um, 519 00:31:37,610 --> 00:31:40,030 and so it's like I'll keep i'll, 520 00:31:40,100 --> 00:31:42,830 I'll keep all those kinds of people in my life and forget the rest. 521 00:31:42,930 --> 00:31:46,070 So I mean, it's to the point that you have to be taught to hate, 522 00:31:46,130 --> 00:31:50,950 you have to be taught bigotry and prejudice. That stuff isn't innate in us. 523 00:31:51,370 --> 00:31:52,750 No, it's not. And that's the one thing. 524 00:31:52,750 --> 00:31:56,030 It's that I believe that it can also be cleared from us. 525 00:31:57,310 --> 00:32:01,040 Yeah. If you can learn it, you can unlearn it. Yeah. If you want to, 526 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,160 but you really have to want to. 527 00:32:02,340 --> 00:32:03,173 You do. 528 00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:05,000 If any amount of change in your, 529 00:32:05,060 --> 00:32:09,760 in your life and especially in something that's like ingrained in you is 530 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,600 completely possible. I've seen it happen. I know it's possible, 531 00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:14,800 but you have to want to. 532 00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:19,810 Let's move forward to the hurricane. 533 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:25,170 Yeah. So summer and I been married uh, eight years, 534 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:30,040 nine years and we're just plugging away. 535 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:34,960 We both work really hard. You know, I'm a working musician songwriter now. 536 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,200 My wife is a very hard worker. She works for U ps. She, 537 00:32:38,420 --> 00:32:41,220 at the time she was doing real estate. She has a real estate license, 538 00:32:41,430 --> 00:32:43,580 takes on a few clients here and there. Um, 539 00:32:43,580 --> 00:32:45,420 predominantly on the beach cuz she's really knowledgeable. 540 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:49,420 She grew up on the island, went to elementary school there on Fort Myers Beach. 541 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:54,940 She also manages my local stuff. So any of my bookings and all that, 542 00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:56,820 she has great relationships with venues. 543 00:32:57,050 --> 00:33:00,900 It's kind of the reason I am able to play for a living because she's very good 544 00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:05,220 at that. And all musicians, we kind of need someone like that in our lives. Um, 545 00:33:05,220 --> 00:33:08,700 so we're trudging away kind of getting on our feet. 546 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,860 Her mom gets cancer, which she survives and, 547 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:17,460 but really goes through it and it just took a huge hit on their 548 00:33:17,460 --> 00:33:22,140 finances. And so they had to ended up having to move in with us, 549 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:27,860 um, to get back on their feet. We think they have a lot next door. 550 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,140 We think we'll sell it all, find a house somewhere else. 551 00:33:30,140 --> 00:33:33,900 We don't end up doing that because summer and I have been working our asses off 552 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:38,060 to live on this beach on in this beautiful house that she had before we got 553 00:33:38,180 --> 00:33:42,260 together. But we've remodeled it. We've just put all of our love and care in it. 554 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,460 We wanna grow old there, you know, 555 00:33:44,510 --> 00:33:48,540 raise puppies and children and whatever life throws at us and, um, 556 00:33:48,690 --> 00:33:52,540 just be there. And that's kind of our retirement plan. And so we end up 557 00:33:54,540 --> 00:33:57,830 investing in our home and building her parents an apartment downstairs. 558 00:33:58,530 --> 00:34:01,630 We got a put a pool in. Really just made this oasis. 559 00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:06,510 Her parents lived with us for about two years through 2020, 560 00:34:06,510 --> 00:34:07,910 which was a really rough year. 561 00:34:09,430 --> 00:34:12,790 I lost my best friend to this heinous murder. 562 00:34:13,650 --> 00:34:15,470 Her daughter murdered her. It's a whole thing. 563 00:34:15,610 --> 00:34:20,150 And like it's was just the only person from my past I still spoke to, 564 00:34:21,290 --> 00:34:25,930 uh, that like just, I never even came out to her. You know, 565 00:34:25,930 --> 00:34:30,220 she's just somebody. I've just kind of, my last connection to my childhood, 566 00:34:30,270 --> 00:34:35,260 other than my brother of course, I'm so sorry. What, what is her name? Melissa, 567 00:34:35,710 --> 00:34:39,500 Missy. K Missy Kelly. And, um, just, 568 00:34:39,780 --> 00:34:43,620 I mean she would've been 40, May 16th, so like just come, it's just like, 569 00:34:44,570 --> 00:34:48,260 just taken too soon. She was just a beautiful human. It was insane. 570 00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:49,500 Like I went to the trial, 571 00:34:50,230 --> 00:34:54,940 which ended up not going to trial because she took a plea deal. It was awful. 572 00:34:54,940 --> 00:34:57,980 That's when I started therapy actually is after we, I lost her. 573 00:34:57,980 --> 00:35:00,220 Cause all these people from my past like called me out of nowhere. 574 00:35:01,050 --> 00:35:03,310 And so I'm like, wow, this is a lot all at once. 575 00:35:03,660 --> 00:35:06,350 Both the murder of her and then all these people I haven't talked to in 20 years 576 00:35:06,380 --> 00:35:10,350 that I have, you know, some trauma from, which is, you know, it's a whole thing. 577 00:35:10,350 --> 00:35:14,310 And then, um, you know, we lost our dog in 2020 right before that. 578 00:35:14,310 --> 00:35:18,150 It was just like, oh my God, it was huge whirlwind finally. 579 00:35:18,690 --> 00:35:23,580 And living in our 1300 square foot home with her mom and dad we're 580 00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,500 like at our wit wits. And we finally get them downstairs. 581 00:35:27,330 --> 00:35:32,180 They were down there for nine months and hurricane em took our whole house. 582 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:36,220 It stood but crooked and the foundation wasn't salvageable. 583 00:35:36,740 --> 00:35:38,460 Anything under the house was not salvageable. 584 00:35:38,810 --> 00:35:40,700 There's a hole in the middle of the floor. 585 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,900 So we were able to walk in there and salvage stuff even though we weren't 586 00:35:44,020 --> 00:35:46,220 supposed to because it was considered an unsafe structure. 587 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,340 We lost five vehicles between the four of us. We had a little golf cart too. 588 00:35:50,340 --> 00:35:54,020 So it was like right beautiful beach life. We were living, uh, 589 00:35:54,020 --> 00:35:57,140 right before that, one of the best songwriters festivals. 590 00:35:57,300 --> 00:36:01,260 I started Golf Cart karaoke and all these little shows and had a great, 591 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:05,060 you know, hosting a pride event in southwest Florida that was huge successful, 592 00:36:05,060 --> 00:36:09,570 which we needed that positive stuff. And, and then bam and, 593 00:36:09,590 --> 00:36:12,210 and I think that journey of the hurricane 594 00:36:15,070 --> 00:36:18,000 was wild. I mean it, 595 00:36:18,100 --> 00:36:20,960 the moment of being in the hurricane was terrifying. 596 00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:24,520 We actually went to my neighbor's house and hid, uh, 597 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,800 in her house because she had a three story concrete. 598 00:36:26,860 --> 00:36:30,400 We had a 19 35, 2 story cottage, um, 599 00:36:32,130 --> 00:36:34,490 18 foot of water for, 600 00:36:35,410 --> 00:36:39,850 I have a five foot watermark or six foot watermark in my second floor, 601 00:36:40,220 --> 00:36:44,860 which means it sat there at that height and then it just 602 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:49,020 surged. I, it, it, there there's documentation of it. You Google it, 603 00:36:49,020 --> 00:36:53,220 it's insane to be there and and to watch all of your hard work go under water 604 00:36:54,090 --> 00:36:58,630 and realize, and a lot of our friends didn't live. We were very lucky to live, 605 00:36:59,370 --> 00:37:00,310 um, during the storm, 606 00:37:00,410 --> 00:37:03,590 as the water was rising up to the second floor and we ran upstairs, 607 00:37:04,660 --> 00:37:05,770 there was a gas leak. 608 00:37:06,610 --> 00:37:10,950 So we had to open up doors temporarily until finally the front doors broke 609 00:37:11,540 --> 00:37:13,510 open to make sure we didn't die. 610 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:19,630 It was just scary and it was long. And then when we came downstairs, 611 00:37:20,370 --> 00:37:23,230 we had to rummage through all of the debris. 612 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:27,950 There was people in our house squatting in our house, which I mean these, 613 00:37:28,410 --> 00:37:32,710 they'd stayed. They lived because they found our house, you know? Um, 614 00:37:32,940 --> 00:37:37,830 they stayed in my house a little too long and took some of our things and 615 00:37:37,830 --> 00:37:42,510 stuff like that, which, you know, at that point, who cares? You know? Uh, 616 00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:46,190 but it's weird. It's weird to lose everything. It makes you, like I said, 617 00:37:46,190 --> 00:37:49,670 some of those things makes you feel there's definitely not a God. The same time 618 00:37:51,430 --> 00:37:55,510 after being through all the things I've been through and 619 00:37:55,900 --> 00:38:00,900 sometimes often feeling like, you know, 620 00:38:00,900 --> 00:38:04,990 growing up where I couldn't be myself and feel loved. In this moment, 621 00:38:05,260 --> 00:38:08,590 here we are and I think I might die. 622 00:38:08,850 --> 00:38:12,910 And I'm texting Megs who's one of my best friends and she's sending me rescue 623 00:38:12,910 --> 00:38:17,370 tickets and trying to get the government to save my life. And 624 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:23,000 I think I just realized that I mattered to some people and that was a really big 625 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:27,220 deal. They cared about summer and I started to go fund me. 626 00:38:27,940 --> 00:38:32,940 I had absolutely nothing to my name. We couldn't salvage anything at first. 627 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:34,300 We got had to get off the island. 628 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:40,020 And so for a week I didn't have underwear, I didn't have socks, I didn't have, 629 00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,860 I literally had nothing, no cars, no shoes, no nothing. 630 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,100 And friends of ours dropped off clothes. I mean, 631 00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:51,430 t-shirts, pants, shorts, like, oh, 632 00:38:51,490 --> 00:38:54,750 the clothes I'm wearing now were given to me even now. 633 00:38:54,850 --> 00:38:55,990 All these things in September, 634 00:38:56,010 --> 00:38:59,270 all these months later because like I didn't have anything. 635 00:39:00,050 --> 00:39:04,950 And all of these people just loved summer i f to 636 00:39:04,950 --> 00:39:09,230 help us. The government doesn't help you. I think we got like $2,000 from fema. 637 00:39:09,230 --> 00:39:11,790 They're like, oh, you had insurance, you don't get anything. 638 00:39:11,810 --> 00:39:15,190 And that's not how it works. Insurance does not hand you checks. So we're, 639 00:39:15,290 --> 00:39:17,470 we still don't have any help from insurance. So. 640 00:39:18,140 --> 00:39:18,630 Yeah, 641 00:39:18,630 --> 00:39:23,110 GoFundMe I think is proof that you even don't have to know a person to have to 642 00:39:23,110 --> 00:39:25,950 know their humanity. To see humanity step. 643 00:39:26,050 --> 00:39:30,430 Up. Yeah. I ran into, at Key West Songwriters Festival, I ran into Ashley Cook, 644 00:39:31,170 --> 00:39:35,190 uh, country, country songwriter, singer songwriter. And I was like, 645 00:39:35,750 --> 00:39:38,070 I have met you for like a half a second. 646 00:39:39,150 --> 00:39:43,770 You otherwise wouldn't I, we might not have recognized each other on the street. 647 00:39:44,030 --> 00:39:48,730 And she donated to ar GoFundMe and I just told thank you. Because it's like 648 00:39:50,540 --> 00:39:54,910 there's a faith in humanity that is restored in me. And I hope that, 649 00:39:54,910 --> 00:39:58,710 like in the future, that's something we find a way to give back. You know, 650 00:39:58,710 --> 00:40:00,150 we're still sort of getting on our feet. 651 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,190 We're like having to change our life's trajectory. 652 00:40:03,410 --> 00:40:07,190 And that is so interesting to go, oh, like I, 653 00:40:07,710 --> 00:40:11,270 I had to change everything. I have to rethink everything. Um, 654 00:40:11,810 --> 00:40:15,330 but I try to look at it as a positive. It's a rare, 655 00:40:15,730 --> 00:40:18,130 a rare opportunity to go, 656 00:40:18,130 --> 00:40:21,530 let's go start something different and start something new. And, 657 00:40:22,350 --> 00:40:24,210 but also the, I think the, 658 00:40:24,210 --> 00:40:29,090 the lesson all and all of this through my life is that life 659 00:40:29,090 --> 00:40:30,870 is short. Be happy. 660 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:34,180 Was there any one thing, 661 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:39,140 an actual item of thingness that you grabbed? 662 00:40:41,330 --> 00:40:44,510 Um, well I will say right at, right after the storm, 663 00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:46,070 we had no idea it was gonna be so bad. 664 00:40:46,650 --> 00:40:50,990 It actually moved at the last minute and the power went off at 10 and so it was 665 00:40:51,110 --> 00:40:53,990 actually supposed to hit Tampa and then it came more towards us and people who 666 00:40:53,990 --> 00:40:56,590 are like, you shouldn't evacuate. They don't know shit about hurricanes. 667 00:40:56,890 --> 00:41:00,870 And also that there's, there was five of us actually our best friend, 668 00:41:02,130 --> 00:41:04,310 two dogs and my in-laws who are older. 669 00:41:05,010 --> 00:41:09,710 So like where are we gonna evacuate to five people and two dogs also. 670 00:41:09,780 --> 00:41:12,390 Like literally where are we gonna go? You know? 671 00:41:12,490 --> 00:41:14,510 And then there's a whole thing with Fort Myers Beach. 672 00:41:14,980 --> 00:41:16,110 Most of the people that stayed, 673 00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:19,350 it's because back when Hurricane Charlie came a couple, few years ago, 674 00:41:20,150 --> 00:41:23,650 they kicked us off the island, which they did again. Uh, 675 00:41:23,910 --> 00:41:27,170 and they don't let you back on. And you know, 676 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:32,350 part of the reason half of the things I couldn't salvage is because mold 677 00:41:32,380 --> 00:41:33,213 sets in, 678 00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:37,810 you have to be able to get back on and and rescue things. 679 00:41:38,430 --> 00:41:40,450 And we weren't able to do that because, you know, 680 00:41:40,950 --> 00:41:45,330 but right after the storm we trudged through debris, knock on the door, 681 00:41:45,330 --> 00:41:47,730 find people in the house, blah, blah blah, blah. We don't feel like we can stay. 682 00:41:47,730 --> 00:41:48,650 So we're hurrying. 683 00:41:49,390 --> 00:41:53,790 And I grabbed my guitar and to this day it's like 684 00:41:54,620 --> 00:41:58,520 an expensive guitar. The first one I kind of really was like, 685 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,040 I I love this guitar, I'm gonna play the hell out of it. 686 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:04,640 I deserve to have an expensive guitar cuz I normally play like $500 guitars. 687 00:42:05,540 --> 00:42:08,640 And um, I happened to, 688 00:42:09,060 --> 00:42:12,920 my other guitar went underwater cuz it was on the floor of the second floor. 689 00:42:13,140 --> 00:42:16,640 But that guitar, I happened to set it up and so I grabbed that one, 690 00:42:16,950 --> 00:42:19,000 just that one. And I actually didn't even take it off the island. 691 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:23,280 I went to the neighbor's house and hi it in her third story closet that had a 692 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,520 lock on it because everything was being looted and we needed to get off the 693 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,360 island and we couldn't carry anything. Um, but that, 694 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,330 that's kind of the only thing I can think of right now. 695 00:42:32,790 --> 00:42:35,690 But I'm sure there were other things. We ended up being able to go back. 696 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:39,130 Some of our friends went with us, which were, we were just talking about. 697 00:42:39,130 --> 00:42:43,700 We're so grateful for because like the moment we would walk, 698 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:48,540 get on the island and it's dunk for weeks and weeks 699 00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:53,220 and you go into your house and your house stinks and everything's wet and 700 00:42:53,220 --> 00:42:55,060 there's water splashes all over everything. 701 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:59,580 And both of us would get in there and just go in five minutes we'd be done, 702 00:42:59,580 --> 00:43:02,820 we'd be ready to go and just be like, I don't, I don't need it. 703 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,280 I don't know if I can wash it but I don't need it. But our friends were there, 704 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,480 a bunch of our friends actually, 705 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:12,320 I think there was like five people and they just started putting shit in bags 706 00:43:13,730 --> 00:43:15,310 and just taking it and loaded it up. 707 00:43:16,090 --> 00:43:19,230 And then later on we kind of went through and we were able to save like Yeti. 708 00:43:19,250 --> 00:43:22,270 We had all these Yeti coolers and Yeti cups that we've accumulated and that 709 00:43:22,270 --> 00:43:23,790 shit's expensive. I wouldn't, you know, 710 00:43:23,970 --> 00:43:28,550 and we take really good care of our stuff. So we were like, and so later on, 711 00:43:28,550 --> 00:43:32,970 once it was somewhere else, I cleaned it up and you know, it still works. 712 00:43:33,350 --> 00:43:34,370 So there's probably a handful, 713 00:43:35,490 --> 00:43:39,890 probably like a storage units amount of things we were able to save from our 714 00:43:39,890 --> 00:43:40,910 house. Um. 715 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:45,670 There is an extraordinary story of people 716 00:43:46,030 --> 00:43:48,390 swimming to you. Can you tell that story? 717 00:43:49,140 --> 00:43:52,510 Yeah. Um, so during the storm, um, no, like I said, 718 00:43:52,510 --> 00:43:53,630 summer grew up on the island. 719 00:43:53,810 --> 00:43:57,430 So she went to elementary school and our kind of like 720 00:43:58,770 --> 00:44:03,630 across the canal neighbor across from the house we were staying at like an l 721 00:44:03,630 --> 00:44:07,630 around from our home, um, is her best friend's dad. 722 00:44:08,570 --> 00:44:10,270 And so she's texting him like, 723 00:44:10,290 --> 00:44:14,190 and he's been on the island forever and he has this little small cottage too, 724 00:44:14,850 --> 00:44:16,910 um, a little lower to the ground than ours was. 725 00:44:17,290 --> 00:44:19,510 So he had just had ankle surgery and she text him. 726 00:44:19,510 --> 00:44:21,070 She has this great cap of his text and said, 727 00:44:21,450 --> 00:44:26,430 why don't you just come over to this house just in case I'll come 728 00:44:26,430 --> 00:44:30,200 get you with the car because of his ankle. And he says, 729 00:44:30,380 --> 00:44:34,540 I'm fine l o l I'll just swim. And that was that morning. 730 00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:36,260 And um, 731 00:44:36,260 --> 00:44:40,620 as the hurricane obviously got worse and worse and it started to climb his house 732 00:44:40,620 --> 00:44:45,540 came off the pilings and started to flip into the canal and 733 00:44:45,540 --> 00:44:49,020 it was him. And he has a tenant named Anthony as well. And um, 734 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:53,300 and he has a dog and he swam across. He, 735 00:44:53,580 --> 00:44:56,940 I I can't even tell the story exactly cuz it's like he, 736 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,830 we saw him recently and like there's so much more to it. 737 00:45:00,830 --> 00:45:05,390 Like he got into a dingy and then got the dingy halfway across the canal and 738 00:45:05,390 --> 00:45:08,030 then swam the rest of the way. I don't even know, like it's cra like, 739 00:45:08,030 --> 00:45:11,710 I don't even know how you get in a dinghy when it's like 200 mile an hour winds. 740 00:45:12,420 --> 00:45:14,670 Plus the surge is, the surge is very strong. 741 00:45:14,780 --> 00:45:17,790 It's like really rising and rising fast. 742 00:45:18,330 --> 00:45:21,790 And he gets there and kind of just dunks, 743 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:26,190 dunks the dog by the collar underneath the water and back through, 744 00:45:27,170 --> 00:45:31,020 cuz the first story of the house we're in is already underwater. And, 745 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,140 and then finds his way, I, I don't even know, 746 00:45:33,230 --> 00:45:37,340 finds his way upstairs through the water, through the water, 747 00:45:37,730 --> 00:45:39,860 through the, through the water and into the house, 748 00:45:39,860 --> 00:45:43,660 finds his way upstairs and he's okay. He's scratched all to death from the, 749 00:45:43,690 --> 00:45:48,100 from the dog, the dog's. Okay. Anthony did not make it right away. 750 00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:53,220 And so he held onto a piling and we could see him from there for about an 751 00:45:53,220 --> 00:45:57,140 hour and a half, uh, or an hour. Some are so good with details and I'm not, 752 00:45:57,380 --> 00:45:58,213 I wish he was here, 753 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:02,620 but he held onto that piling and then finally made his way over and he was 754 00:46:03,610 --> 00:46:06,910 purple and he had a big gash in his head. You could see his skull. 755 00:46:07,030 --> 00:46:09,590 I think some debris hit him in the head. But to be honest, 756 00:46:10,020 --> 00:46:12,950 that gash was the least of anyone's concerns. 757 00:46:14,190 --> 00:46:15,650 He was gonna die of hypothermia. 758 00:46:16,650 --> 00:46:19,770 I was holding the door closed with my body because the wind was so strong. 759 00:46:19,770 --> 00:46:23,170 If it came off the roof was probably gonna come off. So we were taking turns, 760 00:46:23,170 --> 00:46:27,660 holding the door closed. Our best friend Sarah comes in and says, 761 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:32,700 you have to trade me because sh some guy with a gash in his head comes in. 762 00:46:32,750 --> 00:46:35,780 She's like, I'm not dealing with that . I don't know, you know, I'm not, 763 00:46:35,780 --> 00:46:37,140 I'm not the person. So we trade. 764 00:46:37,260 --> 00:46:41,500 I go outside Summer has blankets and towels in her hand and we just both know 765 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,540 sh she covers his body, 766 00:46:43,780 --> 00:46:47,700 I cover his feet and I just start sitting on his feet to warm him up cuz you 767 00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:48,220 know, 768 00:46:48,220 --> 00:46:51,500 I sit on his feet and she's keeping his head back so he doesn't bleed into his 769 00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:55,140 eyeballs. We sat there for a little while. He kind of came too. 770 00:46:55,140 --> 00:46:58,860 We just kept checking on him, keeping his head back and he was fine. And he's, 771 00:46:58,860 --> 00:47:02,700 you know, a typical, uh, kind of beach guy who's been there forever. 772 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,780 So he, they called for rescue specifically for him, 773 00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:10,300 but he was already just down, out and, you know, having a drink, 774 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:15,040 trying to find his way, found some people to staple his head and was fine. 775 00:47:15,190 --> 00:47:18,160 He's in this documentary, like laughs the whole time. It's hysterical. 776 00:47:18,350 --> 00:47:22,640 Florida man, Florida man. He is a Florida man, beach Florida man, 777 00:47:23,170 --> 00:47:27,080 which is a, which is a kind of a different breed anyway, 778 00:47:27,180 --> 00:47:29,340 but we're really lucky to be alive. Um. 779 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,980 How are you dealing with the P T S D from that experience? 780 00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,260 You've just had traumas upon traumas. 781 00:47:34,740 --> 00:47:38,900 . Um, I do have some storm, some storm trauma. 782 00:47:39,060 --> 00:47:43,780 I definitely like temporarily we live in a trailer, uh, 783 00:47:43,780 --> 00:47:47,340 right now, uh, when it rains really bad, I do get scared in there. 784 00:47:47,940 --> 00:47:48,860 I have a hard time sleeping, 785 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:53,260 but I think some therapy will be good hopefully once we settle in summer. 786 00:47:53,260 --> 00:47:56,860 And I have both talked about, you know, finding some PTSD therapy. 787 00:47:57,820 --> 00:48:01,100 I think it, it's more for me sometimes the storm scares me for her. 788 00:48:01,100 --> 00:48:05,360 She's just like the trauma of like, just like losing all our hard work again, 789 00:48:05,940 --> 00:48:09,480 of just like watching kind of your blood sweat and tears wash away. 790 00:48:10,310 --> 00:48:13,770 And that's difficult that I think sometimes that's the hardest thing is this 791 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:18,090 like turmoil. It was not easy. Like the, 792 00:48:18,390 --> 00:48:20,930 the remodel of our home was tumultuous. 793 00:48:21,130 --> 00:48:25,770 I trusted a friend that I've known a long time with a hundred thousand dollars, 794 00:48:25,770 --> 00:48:29,490 which is a lot of money to us, like an astronomical amount of money. 795 00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:31,570 And he's like, I'm gonna get it done for you in three months. 796 00:48:31,790 --> 00:48:35,210 It took him like a year or more than a year. 797 00:48:36,070 --> 00:48:38,850 He didn't finish the job. My dad and I finished the job. 798 00:48:39,550 --> 00:48:43,290 He would not tell us where the money went. Like, you know, a mistake. 799 00:48:43,350 --> 00:48:47,610 We already knew, like, you know, you should have already known not to anyway, 800 00:48:47,990 --> 00:48:51,530 but you know, you just, sometimes you have to relearn stuff and, 801 00:48:52,590 --> 00:48:57,000 and so it was like all this like, just grief for nothing. 802 00:48:57,620 --> 00:49:02,110 Bye. And in the end you just go, it's just stuff. We have each other. 803 00:49:03,250 --> 00:49:08,100 We're alive, our family's alive. Um, you know, 804 00:49:08,620 --> 00:49:12,920 a lot of people did not make it. And um, 805 00:49:13,580 --> 00:49:16,560 during that storm, like I just, you know, 806 00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,160 we know where our friends live and we're going, 807 00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:22,560 I think that we had the highest amount of water on our street as we watched it. 808 00:49:22,580 --> 00:49:26,640 It like kind of bottle nosed down our street and you can tell that by when you 809 00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:30,320 talk to our neighbors. And so thinking that it was that high everywhere, 810 00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:34,460 I was just like, okay, well my friend Marina's definitely dead. 811 00:49:35,610 --> 00:49:39,920 Uh, our friend Tracy was potentially dead. Uh, this person's definitely dead, 812 00:49:39,980 --> 00:49:43,760 you know, and just, you know, and that most of our close friends lived. 813 00:49:43,790 --> 00:49:47,120 Some of the people that we just kind of have known and some are especially known 814 00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,880 for years didn't make it. Some of 'em have worse stories, you know, 815 00:49:51,340 --> 00:49:55,480 and there's just no way anybody who says you should have done this, 816 00:49:55,570 --> 00:49:59,150 there is no way to prepare for something like that. There isn't. 817 00:49:59,740 --> 00:50:04,550 Knowing what we know with the way the climate is and what's 818 00:50:04,550 --> 00:50:08,310 potentially coming, does that make you wanna leave at all? 819 00:50:10,420 --> 00:50:14,040 Yes. um, I think that was like a big, 820 00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:17,600 as we were searching for like places to live, people are like, 821 00:50:17,620 --> 00:50:18,880 are you gonna rebuild? And I was like, 822 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,800 I have no d i I never wanna go through that again. 823 00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:26,260 And so we love this little town called Gulfport. It's a little gay town. 824 00:50:26,260 --> 00:50:30,010 We've always talked about moving there. Um, I can't live there. 825 00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,650 It's on a very similar, it, it, 826 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:35,730 it's right on the water and I can't do it. 827 00:50:36,110 --> 00:50:40,450 And even where we lived is a little bit close to water for us where we are 828 00:50:40,650 --> 00:50:44,470 deciding to move, but I had to kind of stop and say, 829 00:50:44,470 --> 00:50:48,730 I can't live my whole life based in fear and I have to do, you know, 830 00:50:48,730 --> 00:50:51,820 I have to move forward. If Mother Nature's gonna do it, 831 00:50:51,820 --> 00:50:55,660 it's not gonna matter where you live. If we don't do something to change, if, 832 00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:56,553 if our climate, 833 00:50:56,960 --> 00:51:00,500 if people don't start caring about the environment and there's no way you see 834 00:51:00,500 --> 00:51:04,940 that more than summer talks about it all the time driving for UPS and growing up 835 00:51:04,940 --> 00:51:07,020 in this town, she'll be driving somewhere and she'll be like, 836 00:51:07,370 --> 00:51:11,740 this used to be trees and now it is just building after building after building. 837 00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:13,340 And there's just, 838 00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:18,820 you can only do it so much somewhere down downtown and there's empty buildings 839 00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:21,220 and there's waste and it's like, 840 00:51:21,220 --> 00:51:25,180 why aren't we revitalizing those places instead of tearing down our environment 841 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,180 to make new places? Because you don't want the old shit. 842 00:51:28,300 --> 00:51:29,540 I don't know what the deal is, but we've. 843 00:51:29,540 --> 00:51:32,100 Got think economics. It's just, it's all about money. 844 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,100 And the truth of the matter, 845 00:51:33,100 --> 00:51:36,660 you mentioned the beginning of this conversation that you know, 846 00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:41,620 the politicians who worry so much about who's sleeping with who or a dry queen 847 00:51:42,250 --> 00:51:44,460 reading a book or, or whatnot, 848 00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:49,420 it makes as long as they can stir up that kind of fervor 849 00:51:49,930 --> 00:51:54,060 with their constituents. Yeah. Nobody will notice the fact that, 850 00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:58,620 you know, Florida doesn't have a great response time to disaster. 851 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:03,100 The roads are screwed up that the policies are screwed up, that the, 852 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,020 the politicians on the tapes jumping. 853 00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:05,660 Uh, 854 00:52:05,660 --> 00:52:09,020 pollution into Lake Okeechobee all the time that people in America don't have 855 00:52:09,020 --> 00:52:10,700 America don't have clean water. 856 00:52:11,090 --> 00:52:13,100 Yeah. And so there's your answer. 857 00:52:13,210 --> 00:52:16,300 It's like this is why they're screaming about things. That. 858 00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:16,770 Is why. 859 00:52:16,770 --> 00:52:20,980 Literally mean have, there's just, who cares? You know? 860 00:52:21,010 --> 00:52:22,020 It's like let's, 861 00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:26,620 and then what do they do is they take books away so that you can't educate 862 00:52:26,820 --> 00:52:29,620 yourself so that you can speak out against the powers that be. 863 00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:33,820 And that's the, and that is the trouble is that, uh, until us, 864 00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,300 and I've said this a few times, people are like, well what do you do about it? 865 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:39,500 And I'm like, I honestly, 866 00:52:40,490 --> 00:52:44,250 I don't know because if I tell people there's a problem, 867 00:52:44,250 --> 00:52:48,680 there's an attack on my community, a lot of people just don't believe it. 868 00:52:49,710 --> 00:52:53,950 I can give them all the proof and they don't believe it or it's, it's, 869 00:52:53,950 --> 00:52:58,660 it's either that and then there's just like an even larger group of people 870 00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,780 who, it's not that they don't believe it, 871 00:53:01,650 --> 00:53:04,060 they don't care enough to change how they vote. 872 00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:09,640 And until people start caring enough about other 873 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:14,320 communities, about freedoms, about the environment to change how they vote, 874 00:53:14,750 --> 00:53:17,490 nothing will change. Yeah. 875 00:53:17,590 --> 00:53:22,090 And unfortunately it is that, um, apathetic voter, 876 00:53:22,190 --> 00:53:27,100 it is that apathetic person that you have to individually reach out to in 877 00:53:27,330 --> 00:53:28,060 like, 878 00:53:28,060 --> 00:53:31,780 I don't know that there is any platform big enough to change the heart of a 879 00:53:31,780 --> 00:53:34,820 person, but I could maybe have dinner with someone, 880 00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,560 change the heart of a person, which just sounds exhausting, 881 00:53:38,900 --> 00:53:40,800 but I would definitely try . 882 00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,560 I think that's a great plan. Dinner's a Sheena, listen, let's do it. 883 00:53:45,650 --> 00:53:46,483 Let's do it. 884 00:53:46,740 --> 00:53:50,600 I'd like to touch a little bit on your, your time on the Voice. 885 00:53:51,150 --> 00:53:53,040 Once you sort of get past, um, 886 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:56,440 there's like all these things to get up to the point where you're in LA about to 887 00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:57,000 do a blind. 888 00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:01,000 You're there for about like a month and you're really with the staff cuz there's 889 00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,200 a casting company that gets you to that point. 890 00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:07,000 So you have all these kind of casting calls and then once you get, uh, 891 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:07,920 before a blind audition, 892 00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,440 you get to be a part of that and you're a part of the voice. 893 00:54:10,990 --> 00:54:14,730 That team of people really wants to see you succeed. They really do. 894 00:54:14,730 --> 00:54:17,250 They want you to get a chair. They want you to do well. No one's going, 895 00:54:17,330 --> 00:54:22,090 I hope you did. She sucks. They are there to help you succeed. The, 896 00:54:22,330 --> 00:54:26,370 I think anybody who's thinking of going on The Voice should do it because it's a 897 00:54:26,370 --> 00:54:28,450 great experience if you let it be a great experience. 898 00:54:28,610 --> 00:54:31,690 I met amazing people that I'm still friends with, I still write with, 899 00:54:31,770 --> 00:54:36,530 I still talk to because of that show. And I think it also, 900 00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,810 they like marketed me as like a rock and roll country girl. 901 00:54:39,890 --> 00:54:42,450 I realized that's not really who I am. Like as a, 902 00:54:42,570 --> 00:54:46,730 I like to write that as a songwriter, as an artist, not really me. I'm not, 903 00:54:46,890 --> 00:54:50,850 I can't really be in that box and where it's like, I think, you know, 904 00:54:51,990 --> 00:54:54,610 let it teach you what it's gonna teach you. And um, 905 00:54:54,830 --> 00:54:58,610 but I think they do really want you to do well. They want you to succeed, 906 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,250 they want you to sound good. So I, 907 00:55:01,410 --> 00:55:05,690 I found it to be an all around good experience. You know, 908 00:55:06,210 --> 00:55:08,970 I was on team Adam, it was a very young cast. 909 00:55:09,350 --> 00:55:13,690 So like as an older person there was definitely, um, 910 00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:18,130 like when I did my battle round with Hannah Iyer, 911 00:55:18,140 --> 00:55:22,170 who's a phenomenal singer and uh, 912 00:55:22,530 --> 00:55:26,870 adorable and 15 years old and I'm like, she sings great. 913 00:55:27,070 --> 00:55:29,510 I sing great. I'm wailing in the rafters. 914 00:55:29,670 --> 00:55:33,710 I will say like I'm proud of that performance because I sang it with little 915 00:55:33,850 --> 00:55:38,190 effort and it's impressive if you're a singer, but it doesn't matter what, 916 00:55:38,510 --> 00:55:42,630 I can't beat a 15 year old , you know, at like 30, 917 00:55:42,740 --> 00:55:47,030 however old I was, 33, 35, I don't know. I don't even know how old I am now. 918 00:55:47,380 --> 00:55:48,750 None of us know how old we are. 919 00:55:49,030 --> 00:55:52,390 the hurricanes aged me and I'm now just I identifying a 62. 920 00:55:53,020 --> 00:55:54,030 Okay . So. 921 00:55:54,340 --> 00:55:58,150 When people are like, how old are you? I'm like 62, just, that's where I'm at. 922 00:55:59,050 --> 00:56:03,070 So yeah, I mean it was a great, great experience. A lot of work. 923 00:56:03,070 --> 00:56:05,670 They do interview you like a lot. 924 00:56:05,860 --> 00:56:08,030 They have enough footage of me to do like a whole three, 925 00:56:08,030 --> 00:56:12,510 three seasons of a show. It was great. They showed I think I always love, 926 00:56:12,970 --> 00:56:15,790 um, you know, they show your life and your blind audition. 927 00:56:16,210 --> 00:56:20,030 And I remember in my episode they didn't really even talk about me being gay. 928 00:56:20,380 --> 00:56:21,830 They just showed my family, 929 00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,830 which is me and my wife and my two golden retriever dogs and our white picket 930 00:56:25,830 --> 00:56:28,950 fence on the beach. It was adorable. And I liked the normalcy of that. 931 00:56:28,950 --> 00:56:30,670 I thought that they did a really good job with that. 932 00:56:31,070 --> 00:56:33,230 I mean, that's the thing, right? It is just normal. 933 00:56:33,380 --> 00:56:35,590 It's just people loving each other, living their life. 934 00:56:35,820 --> 00:56:40,230 It's exactly what it's, and, and, and uh, I thought NBC did a great job, 935 00:56:40,490 --> 00:56:41,870 so yeah. Yeah, it was great. 936 00:56:42,410 --> 00:56:47,190 Now they're gonna boycott NBC all the bigots. I would be remiss if I didn't, 937 00:56:47,290 --> 00:56:50,470 uh, ask somebody from Florida to give me a, 938 00:56:51,070 --> 00:56:53,790 a personal Florida man story of yourself. 939 00:56:53,790 --> 00:56:57,270 Either someone in your family being a quote unquote Florida man or you being a 940 00:56:57,270 --> 00:56:58,350 quote unquote Florida. Man. 941 00:56:59,850 --> 00:57:01,020 This is so funny cuz like, 942 00:57:01,020 --> 00:57:05,810 I'm trying to think of one and I know that in Key West I probably told a 943 00:57:06,050 --> 00:57:08,130 thousand stories because me and Noah, 944 00:57:09,140 --> 00:57:12,690 who's such a talented young guy, I, uh, 945 00:57:13,470 --> 00:57:16,570 we just instantly became best friends over Florida. He's. 946 00:57:16,570 --> 00:57:20,210 The best. Yeah, he's the best. I actually wanna have a show with you too, 947 00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:21,410 Florida. Talk. 948 00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:23,490 Each other. I know. And I, I need Tim to like, 949 00:57:23,530 --> 00:57:25,730 I need to chat with him and get into my Florida zone. 950 00:57:26,130 --> 00:57:28,010 I think he told an alligator story in. 951 00:57:28,290 --> 00:57:32,410 I think I did. I mean there's several, they've like attacked my dogs and uh, 952 00:57:32,410 --> 00:57:34,010 I will say my, as a young person, 953 00:57:34,650 --> 00:57:39,210 I was riding around with my cousin who's much older than I am. 954 00:57:39,590 --> 00:57:43,650 Um, so more like uncle age and there was a gator. He, he said, come on, 955 00:57:43,650 --> 00:57:46,770 we're gonna come on, we're gonna go find that gator because like it's not safe. 956 00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:51,690 Like you gotta go get it. Um, and they lived out like in the boondocks and he, 957 00:57:51,690 --> 00:57:53,490 he's a cop, so he is like a good shot. 958 00:57:53,830 --> 00:57:57,410 But I remember it was in the ditch and he like stood on the end of the ditch and 959 00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:01,650 like leaned over and pulled his gun out and shot him in the head and then goes, 960 00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:06,850 okay, go get him. And so I guess in my naivety I just went, 961 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:11,290 okay. And I ran down to the ditch, grabbed him by the tail and dragged him out. 962 00:58:12,070 --> 00:58:16,570 Not even thinking, I sure hope you have to hit a gator in the head to kill it. 963 00:58:17,150 --> 00:58:20,690 And it has a very small brain so it's, you know, and um, 964 00:58:20,690 --> 00:58:23,370 I didn't even think twice about it and we threw it in the bed of the truck and 965 00:58:23,370 --> 00:58:26,610 he taped its mouth and I thought, why are you taping its mouth now? Like, 966 00:58:27,430 --> 00:58:30,930 you should have done that before you sent me after it . And uh, 967 00:58:31,410 --> 00:58:34,010 I think there's probably more of those, but I, I'm, 968 00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:37,130 I've gotta start writing them down before this Florida show. . 969 00:58:37,990 --> 00:58:41,450 So great Sheena. Tell people how they can find you out in the world. 970 00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:45,220 Out in the world. Um, I'm pretty easy to find. 971 00:58:45,370 --> 00:58:47,860 It's Sheena Brook with two E's, 972 00:58:47,860 --> 00:58:52,300 two os and you can just go to sheena brook.com and all my social links are 973 00:58:52,300 --> 00:58:56,980 there. Um, but my Instagram's just Instagram at Sheena brook, uh, 974 00:58:57,180 --> 00:58:58,580 Facebook at Sheena Brook music. 975 00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:03,620 You can also find me on Spotify and Amazon music and all that stuff. 976 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:08,740 Do you wanna talk about your, your i the golf cart there? It's Golf. 977 00:59:08,740 --> 00:59:11,620 Cart Karaoke is a show that I did in Key West. 978 00:59:11,620 --> 00:59:14,780 I've done one in island at the Island Harbor and you can see all of the episodes 979 00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:18,860 on my Instagram. So if you go find me at instagram.com/sheena brock, 980 00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:22,660 you can watch 'em. And I just kind of cruise around a golf cart with uh, 981 00:59:22,660 --> 00:59:25,780 my B speaker and interview singer songwriters. 982 00:59:25,780 --> 00:59:27,500 Most of them play guitar and sing. 983 00:59:27,730 --> 00:59:32,540 Jeffrey Steele just sang and I think he got away with it cuz he has about 984 00:59:32,630 --> 00:59:34,500 eight bajillion hit songs. 985 00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:39,420 Oh, many songs. She thank you so much for being on the show. 986 00:59:39,900 --> 00:59:43,140 I love talking to you. So let's do it again. Yeah, I just chime. So. 987 00:59:43,150 --> 00:59:45,780 Thank you. Thanks for listening everybody. Thank you. Bye. 988 00:59:46,110 --> 00:59:46,943 Thank you. Bye. 989 00:59:49,490 --> 00:59:51,740 Rate review, subscribe to Hey, 990 00:59:51,740 --> 00:59:56,380 human podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast. Thanks, bye.