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Hey, humans. How's it going? Susan Ruth here.

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Thanks for listening to another episode

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of Hey Human podcast.

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This is episode 449,

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and my guest is doctor Jeri Iballa Rosa

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Tonnell.

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Jeri is a native Hawaiian. Her work is

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rooted in the guiding principles of aloha,

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ask, listen, observe, heart, adapt,

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integrating cultural knowledge and contemporary leadership strategies to

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support organizational and community development.

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She holds her doctorate from the California Institute

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of Integral Studies and Transformative

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Studies and Consciousness.

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She's the award winning author of Let's Live

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Aloha, a children's book that introduces young readers

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to the values of empathy,

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adaptability,

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and emotional intelligence.

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And her mission is to provide a framework

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for cultivating

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meaningful connections and fostering a more compassionate world.

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She's also the host of the evolution of

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Aloha podcast.

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I am hailing from my new digs. I

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spent the last nine days moving little by

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little.

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And so the sound is probably a little

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bit different than what everybody's used to, but

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I will adapt and adjust and

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took everything I had. I'm exhausted

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to,

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to do this edits

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and get this out. I'm I'm hoping right

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now, I'm my goal is to have it

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out Thursday.

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We'll see what happens. I'm so tired, and

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I'm covered in bruises. Moving is not for

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the faint of heart, I'll tell you that.

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Anyway,

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that being said, check out heyhumanpodcast.com

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for links and to learn more about my

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guests in the show. You can find Hey

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Human Podcast on all the podcasty places for

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the most part, including YouTube.

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And I'm on social media under Susan Ruthism,

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and my music is out there, and it's

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in all the musical places for the most

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part. Rate, review, and subscribe to Hey Human

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podcast on Apple, iHeart, Spotify.

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You know the drill.

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And thank you for listening. Be well. Be

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love.

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Be aloha.

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Here we go.

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Doctor Jerry

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Ibela Rosa Tonnell, how are you today? Welcome

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to Hey Human.

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I'm doing great. Thank you so much for

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having me. Yes.

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Absolutely.

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And you are currently hailing from my home

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state,

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so shout out to Washington state.

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Yep. Absolutely. It's a little bit cold today,

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but, you know, it's like it is the

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Pacific Northwest.

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But I noticed that on the trees, the

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buds are starting to come in. So springtime's

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almost here. I think we have another three

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weeks before we're officially in spring. So

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you can start to see that the tree

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is starting to

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turn right now. It's starting to change colors

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because the buds are coming out.

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So

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yeah, it makes me excited. It makes me

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excited. Springtime always does something for me. It

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reminds me

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that change is happening, that there's rebirth, there's

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growth, there's transformation.

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We need all those things.

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We do.

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We do. Especially in today's world. Right? Yeah.

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I read somewhere once, and I think I've

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mentioned it a few times on this show,

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but

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that we think of winter as being the

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dead time. But in fact, under under the

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snow, under the leaves, under all the the

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mulchy,

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horusness of of the the Earth

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that it's teeming. It's alive, and it's gearing

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up. And that in fact, winter is

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very exciting, a lifetime that we and we

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don't think of it in that way.

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Oh, I you know, it's like I

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I living in you know, I was born

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and raised in Hawaii, so I never really

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experienced

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the different,

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the different weather patterns

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and all the different seasons.

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I love winter.

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I mean, I love all the seasons. And

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winter reminds me that it's a time for

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rest.

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It is time for us to prepare for

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what's to come. And so, yeah, so what's

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underneath that? It's so exciting to know that

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there's new growth coming.

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Yeah. The Colonels.

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Yep. Let's talk about childhood.

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Grew up in Hawaii.

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Let's talk about that. So you are indigenous

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to the land of Hawaii, to the island.

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Yes. Tell me all about what that childhood

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was like. The only thing that I can

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comparing

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to when I left Hawaii and, you know,

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moving here to the Pacific Northwest. So growing

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up in Hawaii, I am

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I didn't know what layering was. Right? It's

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like I didn't

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understand what a layer was.

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And so, you know, it's like we were

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at the beach all the time. We were

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camping.

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We had either no clothes or just one

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layer of clothes. So it was a lot

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of fun. Fresh fruit was abundant. I grew

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up and we had mangoes and we had

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papayas. We had avocado. We had tangerines

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and lemons and limes. And it was just

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all around

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that when I moved to the continent,

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I was like, doesn't everybody have pineapples

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and papayas growing in their backyard? So it

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was really confusing

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for me.

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It was confusing

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for me when I didn't know how to

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layer up

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and when the weather changed and everything, it

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was like, what's happening? The first time I

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saw

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Okay. So the first time I thought I

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saw snow,

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I was living in Oak Harbor and

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the frost just came in

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and everything was white. And I was outside.

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I went outside and I was like, Oh

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my gosh, look at that. And I'm scraping

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the frost off the window

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of the car. And I

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was trying to make a snowball like I

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would see on the movies. And a friend

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of mine, she comes out and she's like,

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What are you doing? And I'm like, Oh

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my gosh, look, it's snow.

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She's like, That's frost. You can find that

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in your

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freezer.

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That's hilarious.

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So I had no idea about that. And

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I would be at the beach all the

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time. I love the ocean. I love just

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having my feet just

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in the sand or

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just going deep into the ocean.

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And And here in the Pacific Northwest, the

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first time that I tried, I'm like, What

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is this? What are all of these things

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that's touching my lake?

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It's like there's kelp everywhere.

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A lot of kelp.

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You can't see the bottom and the sand's

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not like

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the sand that I grew up with. So

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it was like growing up in Hawaii, I

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feel that it was such a blessing

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to have been

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born there. What an honor to be a

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child of the land. And

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you know, it's like understand what it means

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to

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be Hawaiian.

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Now that I live in the diaspora,

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right, it's like I live away from my

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home and I'm up here.

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It gets a little hard sometimes.

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You know, I have I do have the

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privilege and the opportunity to go home

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a lot. Like last year, I went home

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four times, which was really great.

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And, you know, every time

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whenever

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I go back home to Hawaii and I

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book

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my ticket,

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I deliberately

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sit on the left hand side of the

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plane when I'm heading to the island and

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then I sit on the right hand side

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of the plane when I'm leaving the island

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because then I can see, right? I can

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watch as the islands

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are coming into view. And then when I'm

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leaving,

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I can see the islands just kind of

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disappear behind of me. It's amazing to be

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able

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to go back home, but I miss it.

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It's like I don't Being here,

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I hardly ever see people that look like

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me. I can't walk into the grocery store

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and just

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buy my food or hear my music or

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anything like that. But I do my best.

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I do my best to try to create

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Hawaii around me. And no matter how far

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away I'm from the island, I will always

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have the spirit of Aloha with me because

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that's what grounds me.

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But yeah, I don't know if you could

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see, but I have a humidifier

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here.

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And I have my heat on probably like

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at 75 or 80. So in my office,

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it's Hawaii.

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You mentioned Oak Harbor as well as Hawaii.

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So I'm wondering, are you from a military

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family? My ex husband was in the military.

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Okay. And so, yeah, we, we were stationed

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over in Oak Harbor. I actually was in

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the Navy as well, too. And so it's

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like I was in the Navy for six

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and a half years. When I joined the

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Navy,

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it

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was back in the eighties. It was like

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back in 1988

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is when I joined the Navy.

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And at that time, my ex husband just

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got back from being gone for six months.

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And him and his friends were like sitting

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around and they were talking about where women

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belong.

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And I have two sons.

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I have two sons. My sons are grown

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now. But as they were talking about where

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women belong,

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I walked in and I was like, What

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are you all talking about? And this one

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guy, he says, There's only two places that

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a woman belong. And I was like, Ed,

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you're about to tell me.

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So he did, right? He did. He said,

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on her back or in the kitchen is

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what he said.

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So I, you know, I was like, oh,

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my goodness. I it hit me, but I

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didn't know what to do with that in

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the beginning.

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And then I looked over and I looked

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at my two boys and they were probably

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about

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three and four years old. And I'm like,

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oh, I am not raising boys. I'm raising

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men.

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And if they are to grow up thinking

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this way about women,

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I am responsible to whoever they end up

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partnering up with.

275
00:10:01,179 --> 00:10:03,019
So I ended up joining the Navy two

276
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:03,840
weeks later

277
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,300
because I wanted them to know that a

278
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,495
woman can do whatever she wants to do,

279
00:10:10,495 --> 00:10:12,735
and she belongs wherever she feels like she

280
00:10:12,735 --> 00:10:14,654
belongs. And so yeah. So I joined the

281
00:10:14,654 --> 00:10:16,254
Navy and stayed in the Navy for six

282
00:10:16,254 --> 00:10:18,595
and a half years. I appreciate your service.

283
00:10:18,735 --> 00:10:19,714
Tell me something.

284
00:10:20,014 --> 00:10:21,714
When we have the new

285
00:10:22,095 --> 00:10:24,414
administration, somebody like Pete Hegspeth, who thinks that

286
00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:26,399
women shouldn't serve in the military.

287
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,340
As someone with that experience as a woman

288
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:30,160
in the military,

289
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:34,000
how do you feel about that? And secondly,

290
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,000
do you

291
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,000
do you have

292
00:10:38,585 --> 00:10:41,024
memories of what it was like as a

293
00:10:41,024 --> 00:10:43,965
woman in going into the navy and your

294
00:10:44,105 --> 00:10:45,245
fellow female

295
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,485
compadres, you know, how that all

296
00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:50,665
was, how your experience was? Oh, yeah. It

297
00:10:50,665 --> 00:10:51,965
definitely was a challenge.

298
00:10:52,449 --> 00:10:55,190
It definitely was a challenge. I I remember

299
00:10:55,490 --> 00:10:58,129
being treated as an object, right, is that,

300
00:10:58,129 --> 00:11:00,449
you know, it's like even even when it

301
00:11:00,449 --> 00:11:01,429
came to

302
00:11:03,409 --> 00:11:05,809
to men that were in command, they were

303
00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:08,045
in charge, You know, things that they would

304
00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:09,725
say, the way that they would look at

305
00:11:09,725 --> 00:11:12,065
me, the unwarranted and the unwelcomed,

306
00:11:12,524 --> 00:11:14,845
you know, just touches when you walk by

307
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,605
and think, oh, it was just gross. Right?

308
00:11:16,605 --> 00:11:19,024
It was just gross. Being in the Navy,

309
00:11:19,165 --> 00:11:20,545
it it allowed me

310
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,360
to really understand what it was like to

311
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:27,399
be up against the patriarchy, be up against

312
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:30,360
men who feel that they're always in power.

313
00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:32,580
So I needed to figure out how do

314
00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:34,580
I stand on my own morals? How do

315
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:37,534
I stand in my strength? I'm very competitive.

316
00:11:38,075 --> 00:11:40,315
So when it came to any of our

317
00:11:40,315 --> 00:11:41,534
training, our PT,

318
00:11:41,914 --> 00:11:44,014
I would always try to

319
00:11:44,554 --> 00:11:45,695
be up against

320
00:11:46,235 --> 00:11:48,315
a man. So it's like I would run

321
00:11:48,315 --> 00:11:50,149
right next to him and run faster. I

322
00:11:50,149 --> 00:11:51,589
would do more sit ups. I would do

323
00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:53,669
more pull ups. I would do whatever I

324
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,909
needed to do because I needed to I

325
00:11:55,909 --> 00:11:58,649
not only prove to myself, but also for

326
00:11:58,789 --> 00:12:01,529
the next generation. And it's unfortunate. And

327
00:12:02,045 --> 00:12:03,725
I can't stand the fact that these words

328
00:12:03,725 --> 00:12:05,165
are even coming out of my mouth that

329
00:12:05,165 --> 00:12:07,565
we have to work harder in order to

330
00:12:07,565 --> 00:12:09,325
prove ourselves because I don't think we need

331
00:12:09,325 --> 00:12:12,365
to. So yeah, everything that is happening about

332
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:12,865
how

333
00:12:13,404 --> 00:12:15,745
women shouldn't serve, it's

334
00:12:16,799 --> 00:12:17,299
Fuck.

335
00:12:17,919 --> 00:12:19,840
Sorry. No. I agree with you. Fuck is

336
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:20,899
a perfect word.

337
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:22,580
Yeah.

338
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,799
Yeah. Exactly. So yeah. So I I just

339
00:12:26,799 --> 00:12:27,620
feel that

340
00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:29,220
it's a bunch of bullshit.

341
00:12:29,694 --> 00:12:32,014
To me, it just screams of a beta

342
00:12:32,014 --> 00:12:32,514
male.

343
00:12:32,975 --> 00:12:35,454
Yep. I think there's a there's a threat.

344
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,214
That's why. There is a threat. If the

345
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,934
male species were a little more confident in

346
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:42,629
themselves, they would know who they are. And

347
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:45,850
instead of instead of trying to compete

348
00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:47,209
with

349
00:12:47,589 --> 00:12:50,069
with a woman is stand next to a

350
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:50,569
woman.

351
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,769
Know that we we each have our

352
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,485
our strengths and that we should see that

353
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,584
and honor that in each other.

354
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:00,884
And I don't I don't I don't know

355
00:13:00,884 --> 00:13:02,664
why there should be a competition

356
00:13:03,044 --> 00:13:05,865
on, you know, feeling so threatened by

357
00:13:06,404 --> 00:13:07,384
another person.

358
00:13:08,804 --> 00:13:09,304
Yeah.

359
00:13:09,819 --> 00:13:10,639
Yeah. It's weakness.

360
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:14,159
I It is. Mhmm. It definitely it definitely

361
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:15,279
is. Let's talk about

362
00:13:15,659 --> 00:13:18,940
your identity as somebody from Hawaii, as someone

363
00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:21,019
you spoke a little bit about what it's

364
00:13:21,019 --> 00:13:24,000
like to have the abundance of the land

365
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:26,235
all around you.

366
00:13:26,615 --> 00:13:28,375
But I'd like to dig in a little

367
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:29,434
bit to

368
00:13:30,774 --> 00:13:32,154
the idea that

369
00:13:33,254 --> 00:13:36,715
the people of Hawaii are incredibly and fiercely

370
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:37,274
protective

371
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:41,159
of their environment and their land, understandably, because

372
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:42,759
it is relatively

373
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:44,360
unspoiled

374
00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:48,100
by the rest of the the Continental United

375
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:50,019
States because it is hard to get to

376
00:13:50,019 --> 00:13:52,605
and hard to get to long enough to

377
00:13:52,605 --> 00:13:54,304
mess it up. But it's not like

378
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,625
the Mainland doesn't try.

379
00:13:57,725 --> 00:13:58,784
Do you know what I mean?

380
00:13:59,245 --> 00:14:00,945
To mess it up. There certainly

381
00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:03,825
talk about your sense of self

382
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,200
through the land aside from, yes, I can

383
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,440
eat really healthily. And by the way, I

384
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,120
used to hate papaya. And then I went

385
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,679
to Hawaii and had a papaya from there

386
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:17,960
fresh. And it's definitely my mind, it was

387
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,465
night and day. To me, papaya always tastes

388
00:14:20,465 --> 00:14:23,205
like feet, but in Hawaii, it's

389
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:24,485
so good.

390
00:14:27,184 --> 00:14:29,924
Yes. Yes. It's like if you haven't experienced

391
00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:32,404
fresh fruit from the tree,

392
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:34,779
it's like when somebody tells me they don't

393
00:14:34,779 --> 00:14:36,240
like certain things, I'm like,

394
00:14:36,779 --> 00:14:38,460
well, first of all, how long did it

395
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,620
sit out before you even tried it? Or

396
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:43,279
did it get frozen and unfrozen? Doctor. Exactly.

397
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:45,519
How far did it travel to you?

398
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:46,960
Doctor. How insecticide

399
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:48,480
laden is it?

400
00:14:48,884 --> 00:14:49,384
Yeah.

401
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,925
Exactly. All of those things. All of those

402
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,945
things come into play. But my connection

403
00:14:54,565 --> 00:14:57,225
my connection to the land. So in Hawaii,

404
00:14:57,524 --> 00:14:59,925
the word aina, a lot of time people

405
00:14:59,925 --> 00:15:02,085
hear the word aina and, you know, it

406
00:15:02,085 --> 00:15:04,019
was like at first it's like aina

407
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,220
means land,

408
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,779
but it means more than that. It's actually

409
00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:10,019
the land which feeds. So

410
00:15:10,399 --> 00:15:13,039
we are of the aina and we are

411
00:15:13,039 --> 00:15:14,559
of the we are of the land. What

412
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,899
there's a there's a reciprocal relationship

413
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:17,700
between

414
00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:19,745
us and the land, especially

415
00:15:20,284 --> 00:15:22,764
the one that nurtures us. I am very

416
00:15:22,764 --> 00:15:25,565
connected to it. There's three principles that I

417
00:15:25,565 --> 00:15:28,924
live off of, aloha akua, aloha aina, and

418
00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:29,904
aloha kanaka.

419
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:33,259
So Aloha Akua is the love and the

420
00:15:33,259 --> 00:15:34,720
divine, like the connection

421
00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:37,100
to the divine, the love and connection to

422
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:37,759
the divine.

423
00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:41,279
And when we are in alignment with Akua,

424
00:15:41,659 --> 00:15:42,159
we

425
00:15:42,705 --> 00:15:43,205
understand,

426
00:15:43,904 --> 00:15:46,805
aloha aina, the blessings that we have of

427
00:15:47,024 --> 00:15:49,585
all of this that is around us, the

428
00:15:49,585 --> 00:15:52,625
water, the food, the sky, everything is all

429
00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:53,365
around us.

430
00:15:54,065 --> 00:15:56,644
And when we are in connection with those

431
00:15:56,865 --> 00:15:57,365
two,

432
00:15:57,839 --> 00:16:01,039
then we can aloha kanaka, love and connection

433
00:16:01,039 --> 00:16:01,940
to each other.

434
00:16:02,399 --> 00:16:05,600
Because we understand that, you know, it's like

435
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,240
for me to have fresh water is for

436
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,845
you to have fresh water. I know what

437
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,004
it does for me, which means that I

438
00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:13,745
should also

439
00:16:14,205 --> 00:16:16,225
ensure that you have it too.

440
00:16:17,404 --> 00:16:18,544
Unlike in

441
00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:19,904
our society

442
00:16:20,365 --> 00:16:20,865
where

443
00:16:21,725 --> 00:16:23,024
poisoning the water

444
00:16:23,529 --> 00:16:25,870
and the land is something that is

445
00:16:26,490 --> 00:16:29,210
like people are okay with not knowing that

446
00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:29,710
connection.

447
00:16:30,330 --> 00:16:31,950
I'm greatly connected

448
00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:33,549
to the land

449
00:16:33,929 --> 00:16:36,429
because I want that for the next generation.

450
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:37,964
I know what it does for me. I

451
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,804
know what it feels like to walk out

452
00:16:39,804 --> 00:16:41,345
and have fresh air.

453
00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:45,504
And to not have that, it's like is

454
00:16:45,565 --> 00:16:48,924
not in connection with the divine or with

455
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:49,424
Kanaka.

456
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:53,039
How can you love yourself and enjoy everything

457
00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:56,779
without ensuring that everybody should have the same

458
00:16:56,779 --> 00:17:00,080
thing too? That love and connection to Akua,

459
00:17:00,139 --> 00:17:01,759
to Aina, to Kanaka.

460
00:17:02,139 --> 00:17:03,039
That's my foundation

461
00:17:03,545 --> 00:17:05,705
and that's how I am so connected to

462
00:17:05,705 --> 00:17:09,384
it because I understand what it means on

463
00:17:09,384 --> 00:17:12,105
a deeper level than it's not just where

464
00:17:12,105 --> 00:17:14,345
we wake up and this is where we

465
00:17:14,345 --> 00:17:17,305
are. This is a place that feeds us,

466
00:17:17,305 --> 00:17:18,684
that where we breathe,

467
00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:20,830
where we exist.

468
00:17:21,610 --> 00:17:23,309
And so, yeah,

469
00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:24,269
that's

470
00:17:24,809 --> 00:17:28,009
my connection. Mary (3five forty three): How old

471
00:17:28,009 --> 00:17:29,369
were you when you left? Alisha Auslin (3five

472
00:17:29,369 --> 00:17:29,869
forty

473
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:32,509
four): I was young when I left.

474
00:17:32,924 --> 00:17:33,904
I left Hawaii

475
00:17:34,205 --> 00:17:35,904
when I was 17.

476
00:17:37,005 --> 00:17:39,725
But I'm home all the time. I go

477
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,424
home all the time. Sometimes

478
00:17:41,805 --> 00:17:43,244
just like with, you know, last year I

479
00:17:43,244 --> 00:17:45,244
was home. I was home a lot. My

480
00:17:45,244 --> 00:17:47,505
family were like, it's like you never left.

481
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:49,490
No matter

482
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:50,369
how

483
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,170
long

484
00:17:51,549 --> 00:17:53,009
I'm away from home,

485
00:17:53,549 --> 00:17:56,130
whenever I go back to Hawaii,

486
00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:58,829
the first thing I need to do is

487
00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:00,609
I need to get into the ocean.

488
00:18:01,184 --> 00:18:01,684
My

489
00:18:02,065 --> 00:18:04,144
body shakes where it's like, okay, it's time.

490
00:18:04,144 --> 00:18:05,664
I just have to go drop my things

491
00:18:05,664 --> 00:18:08,224
off and I have to get into the

492
00:18:08,224 --> 00:18:10,224
water. Even if it's at night, if I

493
00:18:10,224 --> 00:18:11,744
just have I just have to touch the

494
00:18:11,744 --> 00:18:13,424
water. Right? There's just something and I'm like,

495
00:18:13,424 --> 00:18:15,125
oh my gosh. What's going on?

496
00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:18,009
In September, I had the opportunity to go

497
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:20,649
and sit with one of our kupuna, one

498
00:18:20,649 --> 00:18:21,549
of our elders.

499
00:18:21,929 --> 00:18:23,690
And I was telling him about, you know,

500
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:25,369
this feeling that I have. I said, you

501
00:18:25,369 --> 00:18:27,470
know, I can come home, you know,

502
00:18:27,775 --> 00:18:29,615
every other month, and every time I come

503
00:18:29,615 --> 00:18:31,134
home, I just have to get into the

504
00:18:31,134 --> 00:18:32,734
water. I have to touch it. I have

505
00:18:32,734 --> 00:18:34,255
to see it. I have to smell it.

506
00:18:34,255 --> 00:18:35,714
I have to be in it.

507
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,375
And, you know, I said, I don't know

508
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:38,914
what it is. And he was like,

509
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:43,230
that's your makua hine. And I was like,

510
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:44,130
it's my mother.

511
00:18:44,509 --> 00:18:46,670
He goes, you are coming back to your

512
00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:49,890
makua hine. You're coming back to the amniotic

513
00:18:50,109 --> 00:18:51,410
fluid of your mother.

514
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,869
That is why you wanna get into the

515
00:18:53,869 --> 00:18:55,730
water because it is where you feel

516
00:18:56,325 --> 00:18:59,365
safe, where you feel like you belong, where

517
00:18:59,365 --> 00:19:00,585
you feel welcomed.

518
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:02,025
And I'm like,

519
00:19:03,044 --> 00:19:03,544
yes,

520
00:19:03,924 --> 00:19:04,424
that's

521
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,784
that's it. That's it. That

522
00:19:08,099 --> 00:19:08,839
that unconditional

523
00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:11,319
love of being held

524
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,019
in in the water, in the ocean of

525
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:15,220
Hawaii. So

526
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:16,279
Having

527
00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:20,920
been away from Hawaii and then starting to

528
00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:23,160
develop your personhood as an adult,

529
00:19:24,585 --> 00:19:28,744
how did you decide to to facilitate that

530
00:19:28,744 --> 00:19:30,845
connection into your life's work?

531
00:19:31,224 --> 00:19:32,365
What brought that about?

532
00:19:32,744 --> 00:19:33,244
Oh,

533
00:19:33,545 --> 00:19:35,144
that's a that's a good one. Because you

534
00:19:35,144 --> 00:19:36,765
know, I mean, there's there's all

535
00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:41,659
chapters of my life and experiences

536
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:43,799
that I had to go through in order

537
00:19:43,799 --> 00:19:46,220
to get to where I am today.

538
00:19:46,759 --> 00:19:48,519
And I always tell people, I said, Okay,

539
00:19:48,519 --> 00:19:51,000
so what I'm saying right now may differ.

540
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,134
So just know that I speak in draft.

541
00:19:55,674 --> 00:19:58,555
And it's because my experience and when deeper

542
00:19:58,555 --> 00:20:00,335
learning comes into play,

543
00:20:00,715 --> 00:20:02,414
then my thoughts, my perspectives,

544
00:20:02,715 --> 00:20:05,720
everything shifts. I said, so it's not inconsistency,

545
00:20:06,259 --> 00:20:08,500
it's evolution. So what I say now may

546
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:09,000
change.

547
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:12,099
When I first left Hawaii, I went from

548
00:20:12,099 --> 00:20:14,119
Hawaii to Los Angeles.

549
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:16,279
Living in LA,

550
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,079
it was the first time. I was 17

551
00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:19,640
and

552
00:20:20,054 --> 00:20:21,994
never left Hawaii

553
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,954
and decided to go to

554
00:20:25,734 --> 00:20:26,474
Los Angeles.

555
00:20:26,855 --> 00:20:29,674
And when I went there, everything was just

556
00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:33,194
so big. Right? It's like, I remember

557
00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:36,080
coming into LA, and as we were landing,

558
00:20:36,779 --> 00:20:39,500
I was like, where do all these lights

559
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:42,059
go? They just keep going and going and

560
00:20:42,059 --> 00:20:43,759
going, and it doesn't stop.

561
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,059
And so the gentleman sitting next to me,

562
00:20:46,059 --> 00:20:48,664
he says, well, you can actually go across

563
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,884
The United States.

564
00:20:50,744 --> 00:20:52,924
And to me, I was like, wait. What?

565
00:20:53,305 --> 00:20:55,144
What do you mean? He's like, you can

566
00:20:55,144 --> 00:20:57,384
drive across The United States. And I was

567
00:20:57,384 --> 00:20:59,244
like, this is amazing. Right?

568
00:20:59,839 --> 00:21:02,339
And everything was so big

569
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,500
and everything was so different.

570
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,400
And it was the first time in my

571
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:08,900
life

572
00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:12,240
that I was faced with the question of

573
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,140
what are you

574
00:21:13,494 --> 00:21:15,434
in regards to what I look like.

575
00:21:16,615 --> 00:21:19,595
And I didn't understand that because in Hawaii,

576
00:21:19,894 --> 00:21:21,674
we never did talk about

577
00:21:22,294 --> 00:21:24,394
race. We talked about nationality.

578
00:21:25,015 --> 00:21:26,394
We talked about place.

579
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,160
So, you know, it's like I was young.

580
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,000
I was working at Jack in a Box.

581
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,880
A woman comes up and she orders in

582
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:34,380
Spanish.

583
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,240
And I tell her that, you know, I

584
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,539
don't speak Spanish.

585
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,839
And she was she looks at me and

586
00:21:40,839 --> 00:21:42,220
she's like, what?

587
00:21:42,894 --> 00:21:44,414
And I'm like, I don't I don't speak

588
00:21:44,414 --> 00:21:47,694
Spanish. And she's like she talks to her

589
00:21:47,694 --> 00:21:49,855
friend and she's like, well, what do you

590
00:21:49,855 --> 00:21:51,855
think she is? As if I'm not there.

591
00:21:51,855 --> 00:21:54,174
Right? What do you think she is? And

592
00:21:54,174 --> 00:21:56,650
I'm like, excuse me? And she's like, well,

593
00:21:56,650 --> 00:21:58,570
you're not if you're not Mexican, she goes,

594
00:21:58,570 --> 00:22:01,210
you're definitely not white and you're not black,

595
00:22:01,210 --> 00:22:02,350
so what are you?

596
00:22:03,289 --> 00:22:05,049
And that was the first time that I

597
00:22:05,049 --> 00:22:07,529
was ever asked that question, and I was

598
00:22:07,529 --> 00:22:08,029
like,

599
00:22:09,210 --> 00:22:09,710
human.

600
00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:13,044
Mhmm. I'm human. And she's like, No, no,

601
00:22:13,044 --> 00:22:14,804
no, no, no. What are you? Where are

602
00:22:14,804 --> 00:22:15,544
you from?

603
00:22:16,804 --> 00:22:17,544
And she

604
00:22:18,085 --> 00:22:19,605
was a little rude. And so I told

605
00:22:19,605 --> 00:22:21,384
her, I was like, Well, I'm from Hawaii.

606
00:22:22,005 --> 00:22:24,005
And as soon as I told her I

607
00:22:24,005 --> 00:22:26,404
was from Hawaii, I noticed that there was

608
00:22:26,404 --> 00:22:28,240
this shift in her personality,

609
00:22:28,619 --> 00:22:30,940
where she's like, Oh my God, I love

610
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:33,359
Hawaii. I own a condo in Mahui.

611
00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:36,299
And I was like, What is this? What

612
00:22:36,299 --> 00:22:36,799
just

613
00:22:37,099 --> 00:22:37,599
happened?

614
00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:38,960
Right? So that

615
00:22:39,339 --> 00:22:40,639
was my first experience

616
00:22:42,134 --> 00:22:43,434
with my identity

617
00:22:43,894 --> 00:22:47,015
on the way that I showed up in

618
00:22:47,015 --> 00:22:47,755
the world.

619
00:22:48,215 --> 00:22:50,795
And then when I moved from Los Angeles

620
00:22:51,015 --> 00:22:51,515
to

621
00:22:51,815 --> 00:22:54,555
Oak Harbor and I went into a military,

622
00:22:54,990 --> 00:22:57,710
you know, it's a every everybody there was

623
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:58,210
military.

624
00:22:58,829 --> 00:23:01,730
And so I met people from all over

625
00:23:01,950 --> 00:23:02,609
the world.

626
00:23:03,150 --> 00:23:05,410
And that's when I realized that, wow,

627
00:23:06,109 --> 00:23:09,009
Hawaii is so small and it's so contained.

628
00:23:09,684 --> 00:23:12,644
And the only information that we receive from

629
00:23:12,644 --> 00:23:14,805
what is happening out in the continent is

630
00:23:14,805 --> 00:23:15,945
what's coming over

631
00:23:16,805 --> 00:23:19,445
the television, is that the news, that's the

632
00:23:19,445 --> 00:23:22,325
only thing that I would understand. I didn't

633
00:23:22,325 --> 00:23:24,690
know what snow was. I didn't realize that

634
00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:26,630
there were so many Christmas trees around

635
00:23:27,570 --> 00:23:29,349
and all of these things. And so

636
00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:33,269
that kind of shifted my identity of place

637
00:23:33,410 --> 00:23:34,789
because then I started

638
00:23:35,105 --> 00:23:36,484
to meet other people

639
00:23:36,865 --> 00:23:39,744
from different areas across the world and started

640
00:23:39,744 --> 00:23:42,085
to learn about these different experiences.

641
00:23:42,705 --> 00:23:45,105
I was married for eighteen years with my

642
00:23:45,105 --> 00:23:46,964
first marriage, ended up getting a divorce

643
00:23:47,265 --> 00:23:48,724
and then finding myself

644
00:23:49,424 --> 00:23:49,924
alone.

645
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,240
That was that that's when I started to

646
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:53,740
understand

647
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,740
who am I? Because I went from

648
00:23:58,279 --> 00:23:59,420
my mom and dad

649
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,359
to a husband and then I had two

650
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,519
children. I became a mother and then I

651
00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:06,244
divorced and then I found

652
00:24:07,265 --> 00:24:08,404
myself by myself.

653
00:24:08,785 --> 00:24:11,505
And then that's when a lot of I

654
00:24:11,505 --> 00:24:12,005
feel

655
00:24:12,625 --> 00:24:14,085
the deeper transformation

656
00:24:14,785 --> 00:24:17,505
came through is when I started to figure

657
00:24:17,505 --> 00:24:20,325
out, like, what does it mean to be

658
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,440
a woman? What does it mean to be

659
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,460
a woman who served in the military,

660
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,859
to be a woman of color,

661
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,380
to be indigenous,

662
00:24:29,759 --> 00:24:31,859
to be a mother? And all of these

663
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:32,660
different

664
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:33,619
identities

665
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:34,819
started to

666
00:24:35,215 --> 00:24:36,654
pop up and I had to sit with

667
00:24:36,654 --> 00:24:38,975
it and look at it. I learned a

668
00:24:38,975 --> 00:24:41,634
lot during that time about

669
00:24:42,654 --> 00:24:45,375
who I was, how much fear I could

670
00:24:45,375 --> 00:24:45,875
endure

671
00:24:46,494 --> 00:24:48,975
because I didn't know how to live on

672
00:24:48,975 --> 00:24:50,095
my own. I didn't

673
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,740
you know, and then also the excitement

674
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:54,960
of living on my own. It's like I

675
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,900
bought this fork with my own money.

676
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,299
That's a big deal though,

677
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,180
when you've always been under the care. Yeah.

678
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,960
Yes. I, and that's it. The care. I

679
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,015
started to, I learned how to care for

680
00:25:08,315 --> 00:25:09,534
myself. Mhmm.

681
00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:12,095
And, you know, it's like I also

682
00:25:12,714 --> 00:25:13,855
learned about

683
00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:16,174
being too confident

684
00:25:16,954 --> 00:25:17,970
as well too.

685
00:25:18,369 --> 00:25:21,890
Confident became more cocky, and it's like I

686
00:25:21,890 --> 00:25:24,769
can do it. And it was all about

687
00:25:24,769 --> 00:25:26,150
this this independence,

688
00:25:26,609 --> 00:25:27,990
this strong independence

689
00:25:28,849 --> 00:25:29,829
where I forgot

690
00:25:30,130 --> 00:25:32,549
what it was like to be,

691
00:25:33,634 --> 00:25:35,575
not codependent, but interdependent.

692
00:25:36,274 --> 00:25:39,174
How to exist with another human being

693
00:25:39,634 --> 00:25:42,274
on a level where we would inspire and

694
00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,674
encourage each other to be our better selves

695
00:25:44,674 --> 00:25:48,210
instead of, you know, either caring for or

696
00:25:48,450 --> 00:25:50,769
or taking in or whatever it is. And

697
00:25:50,769 --> 00:25:52,769
so, you know, it's like a lot of

698
00:25:52,769 --> 00:25:54,549
things changed and shifted

699
00:25:56,289 --> 00:25:58,210
in a time when I was divorced and

700
00:25:58,210 --> 00:25:59,269
then remarried.

701
00:26:00,130 --> 00:26:00,869
And then

702
00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:04,515
here, it's like nineteen years later. So my

703
00:26:04,595 --> 00:26:08,115
actually, actually tomorrow will be nineteen years that

704
00:26:08,115 --> 00:26:10,695
my husband and I have been married.

705
00:26:11,234 --> 00:26:11,974
So Congratulations.

706
00:26:12,755 --> 00:26:14,835
Thank you. Yeah. So, and you know, that's

707
00:26:14,994 --> 00:26:17,095
and how that all played into

708
00:26:17,849 --> 00:26:19,950
the work that I do today.

709
00:26:20,650 --> 00:26:22,569
Someone asked me a couple of weeks ago,

710
00:26:22,569 --> 00:26:24,650
you know, it's like, doctor G, what is

711
00:26:24,809 --> 00:26:27,049
what's your career like? And I'm like, well,

712
00:26:27,049 --> 00:26:29,049
first of all, it's like my career is

713
00:26:29,049 --> 00:26:30,829
to share the spirit of aloha.

714
00:26:31,275 --> 00:26:33,215
And I realized that aloha

715
00:26:33,674 --> 00:26:35,215
is something that you share.

716
00:26:35,674 --> 00:26:38,955
It's something that shows each the other person

717
00:26:38,955 --> 00:26:40,734
that you're in relationship with

718
00:26:41,035 --> 00:26:41,535
that

719
00:26:42,555 --> 00:26:44,474
we bring the humanity out in in each

720
00:26:44,474 --> 00:26:46,315
other. We bring the best out in in

721
00:26:46,315 --> 00:26:48,150
each other. Is it like namaste?

722
00:26:51,089 --> 00:26:52,630
I don't know. Maybe.

723
00:26:53,089 --> 00:26:56,130
I would say so. Namaste meaning I honor

724
00:26:56,130 --> 00:26:59,329
your soul. Yes. Yes. Exactly. So a lot

725
00:26:59,329 --> 00:27:02,024
of times when people when people hear the

726
00:27:02,024 --> 00:27:02,524
word

727
00:27:02,825 --> 00:27:03,325
aloha,

728
00:27:03,944 --> 00:27:06,105
right, they're like, you know, aloha means hello

729
00:27:06,105 --> 00:27:07,944
and it means goodbye. It just means a

730
00:27:07,944 --> 00:27:10,365
simple greeting. But if you look at aloha,

731
00:27:10,744 --> 00:27:13,625
aloha means love, it means compassion, it means

732
00:27:13,625 --> 00:27:15,164
grace, it means empathy.

733
00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:18,559
Now if we look at aloha,

734
00:27:19,580 --> 00:27:20,080
aloha

735
00:27:20,619 --> 00:27:21,440
is presence,

736
00:27:21,980 --> 00:27:23,519
forward facing front,

737
00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:24,400
and

738
00:27:25,259 --> 00:27:26,640
is the breath of life.

739
00:27:27,340 --> 00:27:29,119
And so when we engage

740
00:27:29,625 --> 00:27:30,365
in conversations

741
00:27:30,904 --> 00:27:33,065
with each other in the presence of one

742
00:27:33,065 --> 00:27:33,565
another,

743
00:27:33,945 --> 00:27:35,404
we are exchanging

744
00:27:36,105 --> 00:27:38,184
the breath of life. So it's like, I

745
00:27:38,184 --> 00:27:40,904
would say it would probably be similar to

746
00:27:40,904 --> 00:27:41,404
Namaste.

747
00:27:42,059 --> 00:27:45,019
My ancestors knew the depth of what aloha

748
00:27:45,019 --> 00:27:45,519
meant.

749
00:27:45,980 --> 00:27:47,419
And when it, you know, I mean, we

750
00:27:47,419 --> 00:27:49,099
never had, we never did,

751
00:27:49,819 --> 00:27:53,119
write things down, right? It we're we're orators,

752
00:27:53,179 --> 00:27:55,419
we're storytellers. That's how we share knowledge with

753
00:27:55,419 --> 00:27:56,079
each other.

754
00:27:56,384 --> 00:27:59,025
So until it became something that was written

755
00:27:59,025 --> 00:27:59,525
down,

756
00:27:59,984 --> 00:28:00,724
the interpretation

757
00:28:01,345 --> 00:28:04,224
probably changed. And I feel that aloha does

758
00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:04,724
mean

759
00:28:05,025 --> 00:28:07,585
that we are in the presence of another

760
00:28:07,585 --> 00:28:08,724
life. And so

761
00:28:09,424 --> 00:28:12,220
I would say that's what it is. Everything

762
00:28:12,220 --> 00:28:13,119
that I do

763
00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:15,200
is is around Aloha.

764
00:28:15,579 --> 00:28:17,359
And you know, I mean, it's like sometimes

765
00:28:17,419 --> 00:28:20,299
it's really hard to share that Aloha in

766
00:28:20,299 --> 00:28:22,220
a world that doesn't know how to give

767
00:28:22,220 --> 00:28:23,119
Aloha back.

768
00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:26,640
And you know, again, it's not something that,

769
00:28:27,634 --> 00:28:29,174
I expect in return,

770
00:28:29,634 --> 00:28:31,875
but sometimes it would be nice to see

771
00:28:31,875 --> 00:28:34,194
that and to feel that. There's a conflict

772
00:28:34,194 --> 00:28:35,014
of reciprocity.

773
00:28:35,474 --> 00:28:37,174
It is sometimes hard to

774
00:28:37,794 --> 00:28:40,595
maneuver in a world that feels like it

775
00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:41,815
could give up flying,

776
00:28:42,190 --> 00:28:44,289
you know, what about your existence

777
00:28:44,590 --> 00:28:45,970
and at the same time

778
00:28:46,670 --> 00:28:48,910
trying to lead by example or lead with

779
00:28:48,910 --> 00:28:49,410
love.

780
00:28:49,710 --> 00:28:50,609
But it's a complicated

781
00:28:50,910 --> 00:28:53,309
space to to live in and I don't

782
00:28:53,309 --> 00:28:54,910
know that any of us are able to

783
00:28:54,910 --> 00:28:55,890
maintain it

784
00:28:56,515 --> 00:28:57,815
all the time. Certainly,

785
00:28:58,275 --> 00:28:59,255
we may try,

786
00:28:59,875 --> 00:29:02,434
some of us, not everyone obviously, but and

787
00:29:02,434 --> 00:29:05,414
then the the coupled with other human emotions,

788
00:29:05,474 --> 00:29:07,414
as you mentioned, ego or guilt

789
00:29:07,875 --> 00:29:08,934
or sacrifice

790
00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:10,054
or martyrdom,

791
00:29:10,434 --> 00:29:11,414
all these things

792
00:29:12,119 --> 00:29:13,740
that are woven into

793
00:29:14,119 --> 00:29:14,619
that

794
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:15,980
presence.

795
00:29:16,359 --> 00:29:17,579
And it is. It's complicated.

796
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,559
Sometimes I have to pause and I have

797
00:29:19,559 --> 00:29:20,460
to ask myself,

798
00:29:20,839 --> 00:29:21,339
man,

799
00:29:23,079 --> 00:29:24,940
it's so hard to

800
00:29:25,319 --> 00:29:26,619
to try to

801
00:29:27,184 --> 00:29:28,085
live aloha

802
00:29:28,545 --> 00:29:29,845
when we are challenged

803
00:29:30,144 --> 00:29:31,845
in so many different ways.

804
00:29:32,384 --> 00:29:35,204
And I feel that I think that's where,

805
00:29:36,384 --> 00:29:39,585
grace comes in, is that we are, you

806
00:29:39,585 --> 00:29:40,724
know, we are human

807
00:29:41,289 --> 00:29:43,470
and we do have our own flaws.

808
00:29:44,570 --> 00:29:46,809
And I think when we are aware of

809
00:29:46,809 --> 00:29:49,710
them, then we're able to, with self regulation

810
00:29:50,089 --> 00:29:51,150
and self awareness

811
00:29:52,009 --> 00:29:52,509
and

812
00:29:52,890 --> 00:29:55,150
self reflection, we're able to

813
00:29:55,769 --> 00:29:56,654
own that,

814
00:29:57,134 --> 00:29:59,134
that part of us that sometimes we can

815
00:29:59,134 --> 00:30:02,595
feel embarrassed about. I always talk about, gracious

816
00:30:02,654 --> 00:30:03,154
anger

817
00:30:03,775 --> 00:30:04,275
because

818
00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:07,934
I tell people I'm angry. I'm fucking angry

819
00:30:07,934 --> 00:30:08,914
all the time.

820
00:30:10,095 --> 00:30:10,595
Sure.

821
00:30:12,289 --> 00:30:14,470
I'm angry all the time. And

822
00:30:15,089 --> 00:30:17,650
we have every right to be angry right

823
00:30:17,650 --> 00:30:18,150
now,

824
00:30:18,690 --> 00:30:20,950
but if we come into

825
00:30:21,410 --> 00:30:23,190
the work with this

826
00:30:23,634 --> 00:30:24,134
uncontrolled,

827
00:30:24,755 --> 00:30:27,015
this untamed kind of anger,

828
00:30:27,634 --> 00:30:30,674
then what will happen is that we will

829
00:30:30,674 --> 00:30:31,575
end up

830
00:30:32,275 --> 00:30:32,775
becoming

831
00:30:33,474 --> 00:30:35,015
the very systems that

832
00:30:35,394 --> 00:30:36,855
we are wanting to dismantle

833
00:30:38,029 --> 00:30:40,210
and will end up hurting people.

834
00:30:40,509 --> 00:30:42,690
And in our wake of justice,

835
00:30:42,990 --> 00:30:45,789
in our wake of activism, in our wake

836
00:30:45,789 --> 00:30:46,849
of all of this,

837
00:30:47,150 --> 00:30:49,730
we will find more people being hurt

838
00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:54,035
And hurt people hurt people. And as long

839
00:30:54,035 --> 00:30:55,335
as we keep perpetuating

840
00:30:56,194 --> 00:30:58,615
that hurt, we're never going to

841
00:30:58,994 --> 00:31:00,934
get where we really want to be.

842
00:31:01,554 --> 00:31:02,054
So

843
00:31:02,355 --> 00:31:05,859
it's like, yeah, be angry, you know, but

844
00:31:05,859 --> 00:31:08,500
have some grace, especially if there are people

845
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:09,960
who are still learning

846
00:31:10,340 --> 00:31:11,160
and understanding

847
00:31:11,539 --> 00:31:13,400
who we are and understand that

848
00:31:13,779 --> 00:31:15,720
being human is complicated.

849
00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:17,375
It

850
00:31:17,755 --> 00:31:19,674
is so Yeah. And there's something to be

851
00:31:19,674 --> 00:31:20,734
said for channeling

852
00:31:21,515 --> 00:31:23,595
and using it for good in a in

853
00:31:23,595 --> 00:31:25,434
a weird twisty kind of way that the

854
00:31:25,434 --> 00:31:25,934
anger

855
00:31:26,634 --> 00:31:29,595
that it cannot consume or it can consume,

856
00:31:29,595 --> 00:31:32,129
but to try and not let it consume

857
00:31:32,129 --> 00:31:34,210
and to channel it forward. This is why

858
00:31:34,210 --> 00:31:36,369
the metaphor of Hawaii is so interesting to

859
00:31:36,369 --> 00:31:37,029
me because

860
00:31:37,569 --> 00:31:39,909
it's got great wind and the trees

861
00:31:40,369 --> 00:31:42,529
move with the wind and do not break.

862
00:31:42,529 --> 00:31:43,269
It's got

863
00:31:43,649 --> 00:31:45,429
vast ocean. It's got

864
00:31:45,765 --> 00:31:46,904
flowing volcano

865
00:31:47,365 --> 00:31:49,464
of fire that is constantly

866
00:31:49,845 --> 00:31:50,984
refiguring itself

867
00:31:51,285 --> 00:31:51,785
and

868
00:31:52,164 --> 00:31:55,365
hardening and softening and hardening and burning and,

869
00:31:55,684 --> 00:31:58,484
the rains that come and wash everything in

870
00:31:58,484 --> 00:32:00,025
these giant deluge

871
00:32:01,359 --> 00:32:01,859
systems,

872
00:32:02,399 --> 00:32:04,099
which cleans it all again.

873
00:32:05,519 --> 00:32:07,779
It's quite interesting, really, that

874
00:32:08,079 --> 00:32:09,059
that she exists

875
00:32:10,319 --> 00:32:10,819
as

876
00:32:11,173 --> 00:32:11,673
a

877
00:32:12,026 --> 00:32:12,526
as

878
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,059
a embodiment of breathing, living

879
00:32:16,285 --> 00:32:17,825
being in and of herself.

880
00:32:18,365 --> 00:32:18,865
Yes.

881
00:32:19,244 --> 00:32:19,744
Separate

882
00:32:20,204 --> 00:32:22,384
by lots of islands yet connected.

883
00:32:24,285 --> 00:32:26,125
It's fascinating, right? They said they

884
00:32:27,005 --> 00:32:29,644
the Hawaii in general, they think everything that

885
00:32:29,644 --> 00:32:30,384
she represents

886
00:32:30,765 --> 00:32:32,759
is is very power. It's powerful.

887
00:32:33,700 --> 00:32:36,339
Yes. Yes. And, you know, it's like Susan

888
00:32:36,339 --> 00:32:38,259
is so the way that you said it

889
00:32:38,259 --> 00:32:40,200
was just was so beautifully

890
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:41,000
said

891
00:32:41,539 --> 00:32:43,720
because that's exactly what

892
00:32:44,275 --> 00:32:45,174
Hawaii is.

893
00:32:45,795 --> 00:32:49,095
And yes, we are apart but still connected.

894
00:32:49,555 --> 00:32:50,055
We

895
00:32:50,515 --> 00:32:52,855
destroyed but yet we still create.

896
00:32:53,315 --> 00:32:55,394
It's all of this. And and I feel

897
00:32:55,394 --> 00:32:57,734
that we lose we lose the

898
00:32:59,009 --> 00:33:00,789
the depth and the beauty

899
00:33:01,330 --> 00:33:03,990
of the destruction and the creation,

900
00:33:04,289 --> 00:33:07,570
the grace and the anger, the fire and

901
00:33:07,570 --> 00:33:09,509
everything else that can coexist

902
00:33:10,450 --> 00:33:12,230
in this space simultaneously.

903
00:33:13,974 --> 00:33:15,754
And when we're able to

904
00:33:16,375 --> 00:33:18,855
embody that and see that I think that

905
00:33:18,855 --> 00:33:21,115
is when we can really grow

906
00:33:21,494 --> 00:33:22,794
and transcend

907
00:33:23,095 --> 00:33:26,474
beyond everything that we have right here,

908
00:33:27,029 --> 00:33:27,690
right now.

909
00:33:28,070 --> 00:33:31,110
And if we do it with kuleana, you

910
00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:33,289
know, kuleana is the responsibility,

911
00:33:34,070 --> 00:33:36,710
the stewardship, the mission of our life. It

912
00:33:36,710 --> 00:33:38,730
is our deep sacred responsibility

913
00:33:39,269 --> 00:33:39,930
is kuleana.

914
00:33:40,710 --> 00:33:41,210
And

915
00:33:41,984 --> 00:33:43,285
same with creation

916
00:33:43,664 --> 00:33:46,065
and destruction. You can't have one without the

917
00:33:46,065 --> 00:33:48,144
other. Right? You do it and you do

918
00:33:48,144 --> 00:33:49,125
it with responsibility

919
00:33:49,664 --> 00:33:53,204
to extend, to expand for the next generations

920
00:33:53,424 --> 00:33:55,220
to come. And you do this

921
00:33:55,679 --> 00:33:57,940
by being in balance, understanding

922
00:33:58,319 --> 00:34:00,980
that they can coexist simultaneously

923
00:34:01,519 --> 00:34:02,420
with each other,

924
00:34:02,799 --> 00:34:05,440
in harmony, in Lukahi, so then that way

925
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:06,734
you can have these

926
00:34:07,134 --> 00:34:07,875
this deeper

927
00:34:08,494 --> 00:34:11,295
connection with everything else, when you can be

928
00:34:11,295 --> 00:34:12,355
in full connection

929
00:34:12,734 --> 00:34:13,234
with

930
00:34:14,094 --> 00:34:17,635
aloha akua, aloha aina, and aloha kanaka.

931
00:34:18,255 --> 00:34:20,594
And so, yeah, it is.

932
00:34:21,650 --> 00:34:22,150
You

933
00:34:22,610 --> 00:34:24,369
just made me realize and just made me

934
00:34:24,369 --> 00:34:27,110
think about how deep I am Hawaii. Right?

935
00:34:28,369 --> 00:34:30,230
It exists within me.

936
00:34:31,010 --> 00:34:33,110
Exists within me. Yeah.

937
00:34:33,570 --> 00:34:34,470
It's powerful.

938
00:34:35,364 --> 00:34:38,405
I've been told before, you know, because I

939
00:34:38,405 --> 00:34:39,305
speak in metaphors.

940
00:34:40,724 --> 00:34:41,224
Same.

941
00:34:44,644 --> 00:34:45,704
I speak in metaphors

942
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:48,565
and I'm always talking about love. I'm always

943
00:34:48,565 --> 00:34:51,090
talking about Aloha. I'm always talking about you

944
00:34:51,090 --> 00:34:53,809
know, co creating communities. I'm always talking about

945
00:34:53,809 --> 00:34:55,970
that. The people always like, oh my gosh,

946
00:34:55,970 --> 00:34:58,289
Jerry, you're so woo woo. And I'm like

947
00:34:58,289 --> 00:35:00,130
thinking, you know what? That's the problem with

948
00:35:00,130 --> 00:35:02,210
the world. Maybe we need a little bit

949
00:35:02,210 --> 00:35:03,670
more woo in our lives

950
00:35:04,215 --> 00:35:08,375
Because it's like that that deep connection, that

951
00:35:08,375 --> 00:35:10,235
deep care for one another,

952
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:13,575
you know, being able to see another human

953
00:35:13,575 --> 00:35:14,075
being

954
00:35:14,454 --> 00:35:16,954
and genuinely caring for that individual.

955
00:35:17,829 --> 00:35:18,969
That's what's missing.

956
00:35:19,269 --> 00:35:21,510
And we don't have that. And it and

957
00:35:21,510 --> 00:35:22,969
it hurts to really

958
00:35:23,429 --> 00:35:26,650
see what is going on, especially for our

959
00:35:26,949 --> 00:35:27,449
marginalized

960
00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:28,250
communities.

961
00:35:28,789 --> 00:35:31,429
I was, having a conversation with my husband

962
00:35:31,429 --> 00:35:33,530
and I was telling him, I said,

963
00:35:34,204 --> 00:35:36,045
I don't want to live in this place

964
00:35:36,045 --> 00:35:36,784
of fear.

965
00:35:37,085 --> 00:35:38,065
I really don't.

966
00:35:38,605 --> 00:35:41,505
I said, but I carry my passport around.

967
00:35:42,045 --> 00:35:43,985
I carry my passport around because

968
00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:45,744
someone

969
00:35:46,684 --> 00:35:47,824
could be out there

970
00:35:48,284 --> 00:35:48,784
and

971
00:35:49,849 --> 00:35:51,469
all they see is this,

972
00:35:51,929 --> 00:35:55,210
without asking me questions, without knowing my story,

973
00:35:55,210 --> 00:35:56,989
without knowing who I am,

974
00:35:57,449 --> 00:35:59,309
their bias, their ideas

975
00:35:59,690 --> 00:36:01,949
exist by what they see.

976
00:36:02,424 --> 00:36:04,664
So they look at me and phenotypically they

977
00:36:04,664 --> 00:36:07,164
already have a narrative about who I am.

978
00:36:07,464 --> 00:36:10,664
And if they react on that impulse that

979
00:36:10,664 --> 00:36:12,904
they've been given and fed through all of

980
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:15,244
the social medias and everything that's happening,

981
00:36:17,150 --> 00:36:19,630
I could have people at my door wanting

982
00:36:19,630 --> 00:36:21,570
to take me away. It is scary.

983
00:36:21,950 --> 00:36:24,769
And I have sons and I have grandchildren,

984
00:36:24,989 --> 00:36:27,090
and I worry about them as

985
00:36:27,390 --> 00:36:29,844
well too. And, you know, it's like, I

986
00:36:29,844 --> 00:36:32,405
don't feel that anybody should have to live

987
00:36:32,405 --> 00:36:33,465
in this kind

988
00:36:34,005 --> 00:36:35,625
of place of such

989
00:36:36,085 --> 00:36:36,585
fear.

990
00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:39,864
And it it hurts. It hurts my heart

991
00:36:40,324 --> 00:36:42,664
to to see that and to know

992
00:36:43,125 --> 00:36:44,105
what is

993
00:36:44,405 --> 00:36:44,905
happening

994
00:36:46,099 --> 00:36:47,160
in in our society.

995
00:36:47,860 --> 00:36:49,539
And I want to do all I can.

996
00:36:49,539 --> 00:36:50,360
And, you

997
00:36:50,820 --> 00:36:53,239
know, it's like, I I also know

998
00:36:53,699 --> 00:36:54,599
that if

999
00:36:54,980 --> 00:36:57,219
if I walk in and I want to

1000
00:36:57,219 --> 00:36:59,699
like change things and I'm just like walking

1001
00:36:59,699 --> 00:37:02,474
in with grenades and you know, sticks and

1002
00:37:02,474 --> 00:37:05,194
ready to beat people up or whatever it

1003
00:37:05,194 --> 00:37:05,694
is,

1004
00:37:06,074 --> 00:37:07,514
I am going to be met with the

1005
00:37:07,514 --> 00:37:09,614
same force or even more. And

1006
00:37:10,474 --> 00:37:13,594
so, you know, it's like, okay, well, we

1007
00:37:13,594 --> 00:37:16,014
have energy, right? It's like the way that

1008
00:37:16,210 --> 00:37:18,610
our words have energy, our words have power,

1009
00:37:18,610 --> 00:37:20,390
our existence, our presence

1010
00:37:20,769 --> 00:37:21,590
has energy.

1011
00:37:22,130 --> 00:37:24,530
So how we show up is gonna depend

1012
00:37:24,530 --> 00:37:26,369
on the energy that we put forth. And

1013
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:28,755
I'm like, alright. I'm gonna just put I'm

1014
00:37:28,755 --> 00:37:31,014
like, my husband called me a care bear,

1015
00:37:31,074 --> 00:37:33,174
the the the love a lot bear

1016
00:37:33,875 --> 00:37:35,394
because he says you I think that he

1017
00:37:35,394 --> 00:37:36,994
said, you give a lot of love. You

1018
00:37:36,994 --> 00:37:38,994
give, you get a give a lot of

1019
00:37:38,994 --> 00:37:41,789
love, and you really, really care for people.

1020
00:37:41,789 --> 00:37:43,250
And I'm like, I do.

1021
00:37:43,550 --> 00:37:45,869
I genuinely do. And if that is my

1022
00:37:45,869 --> 00:37:46,369
superpower,

1023
00:37:46,670 --> 00:37:48,050
then be it. Right?

1024
00:37:48,510 --> 00:37:50,269
Sure. But you can have those two thoughts

1025
00:37:50,269 --> 00:37:50,769
simultaneously.

1026
00:37:51,070 --> 00:37:53,869
You can pair four people and be full

1027
00:37:53,869 --> 00:37:54,610
of rage.

1028
00:37:56,994 --> 00:38:00,275
Yes. You can. In fact, I presented at

1029
00:38:00,275 --> 00:38:03,715
the Northwest Regional Equity Conference a, just, just

1030
00:38:03,715 --> 00:38:04,454
last week.

1031
00:38:05,074 --> 00:38:07,094
And I was talking about gracious anger.

1032
00:38:07,554 --> 00:38:09,734
And, you know, as I was sharing that

1033
00:38:10,099 --> 00:38:10,599
anger

1034
00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:13,079
and grace are not opposites,

1035
00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:14,440
right? It's like,

1036
00:38:14,820 --> 00:38:16,820
I was saying that they are the fuel

1037
00:38:16,820 --> 00:38:18,840
and foundation. So hold the

1038
00:38:19,140 --> 00:38:20,599
fire of righteous

1039
00:38:21,539 --> 00:38:24,360
indignation without letting it burn our bridges.

1040
00:38:24,855 --> 00:38:27,175
And then let grace guide our power so

1041
00:38:27,175 --> 00:38:28,155
that our activism

1042
00:38:28,534 --> 00:38:29,034
heals

1043
00:38:29,735 --> 00:38:31,675
as fiercely as it disrupts.

1044
00:38:32,375 --> 00:38:35,414
Mhmm. That's some hard thing to do. Mhmm.

1045
00:38:35,414 --> 00:38:37,574
Because we can get stuck in one or

1046
00:38:37,574 --> 00:38:39,594
the other. And I've been there before

1047
00:38:40,099 --> 00:38:42,119
when I'm in this place of disruption

1048
00:38:42,739 --> 00:38:44,440
and I just want to just

1049
00:38:44,900 --> 00:38:45,800
burn the shutdown

1050
00:38:46,340 --> 00:38:48,519
and then I ended up getting burned.

1051
00:38:49,780 --> 00:38:52,019
Right. Then I look back and it's like,

1052
00:38:52,019 --> 00:38:54,420
oh my gosh, I ended up hurting people

1053
00:38:54,420 --> 00:38:55,559
as well too.

1054
00:38:56,025 --> 00:38:56,684
And it's,

1055
00:38:57,784 --> 00:38:58,684
yeah, it's a lot.

1056
00:39:00,025 --> 00:39:01,324
Yeah. What is CO3?

1057
00:39:02,264 --> 00:39:03,164
Doctor. Co3?

1058
00:39:03,784 --> 00:39:05,964
Doctor. Co3 is for co creating

1059
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,484
cohesive communities.

1060
00:39:08,585 --> 00:39:09,565
So co creating

1061
00:39:09,864 --> 00:39:12,880
the three co's. When co creating cohesive communities

1062
00:39:12,940 --> 00:39:13,680
came out

1063
00:39:14,059 --> 00:39:16,720
fifteen years ago, came through a dream.

1064
00:39:17,420 --> 00:39:18,400
It was a dream.

1065
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:20,619
Let me tell you really quick. So Auntie

1066
00:39:20,619 --> 00:39:21,599
Palahi Pake,

1067
00:39:23,420 --> 00:39:23,804
she passed

1068
00:39:24,764 --> 00:39:26,065
away a few, not a few,

1069
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:27,505
she passed away a long time

1070
00:39:27,964 --> 00:39:30,385
ago. But back in 1986,

1071
00:39:31,005 --> 00:39:33,405
she went to legislature and she pretty much

1072
00:39:33,405 --> 00:39:35,105
told legislature that the

1073
00:39:36,284 --> 00:39:39,025
spirit of Aloha needs to be law.

1074
00:39:39,539 --> 00:39:43,000
Meaning that the way that people from Hawaii

1075
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:46,099
would conduct themselves would be in this place

1076
00:39:46,099 --> 00:39:47,000
of aloha.

1077
00:39:47,539 --> 00:39:49,460
And she took aloha and she broke it

1078
00:39:49,460 --> 00:39:49,940
down,

1079
00:39:50,260 --> 00:39:50,760
acronymically.

1080
00:39:51,554 --> 00:39:52,054
So,

1081
00:39:53,234 --> 00:39:55,494
kindness to be expressed with tenderness,

1082
00:39:56,194 --> 00:39:56,694
lokahi

1083
00:39:57,155 --> 00:39:59,014
unity to be expressed with harmony,

1084
00:39:59,554 --> 00:40:02,934
olu olu agreeable to be expressed with pleasantness,

1085
00:40:03,730 --> 00:40:06,769
haa haa, humility to express with modesty, and

1086
00:40:06,769 --> 00:40:07,269
ahunui,

1087
00:40:07,809 --> 00:40:09,750
patience to be expressed with perseverance.

1088
00:40:10,130 --> 00:40:12,610
She was at this, this conference. It was

1089
00:40:12,610 --> 00:40:14,530
called Hawaii two thousand, and this was back

1090
00:40:14,530 --> 00:40:15,590
in 1970.

1091
00:40:15,650 --> 00:40:16,869
They were talking about

1092
00:40:17,474 --> 00:40:18,295
the state

1093
00:40:18,755 --> 00:40:19,494
of Hawaii

1094
00:40:19,954 --> 00:40:22,275
and, there was just a lot of tension

1095
00:40:22,275 --> 00:40:24,934
because this was during the Vietnam War and

1096
00:40:25,075 --> 00:40:27,235
everyone was just like upset with each other

1097
00:40:27,235 --> 00:40:28,994
and there was just all these things going

1098
00:40:28,994 --> 00:40:29,655
on. And

1099
00:40:31,030 --> 00:40:32,469
she was in the back of the room

1100
00:40:32,469 --> 00:40:34,789
and she stood up and she started to

1101
00:40:34,789 --> 00:40:35,929
talk about Aloha.

1102
00:40:36,789 --> 00:40:37,929
And she was like,

1103
00:40:38,469 --> 00:40:40,949
the world will come to Hawaii in search

1104
00:40:40,949 --> 00:40:44,025
for world peace because Hawaii has the key

1105
00:40:44,025 --> 00:40:45,724
and that key is Aloha.

1106
00:40:46,824 --> 00:40:49,625
And she talked about how Aloha is about

1107
00:40:49,625 --> 00:40:52,744
this love, this compassion, this empathy, this being

1108
00:40:52,744 --> 00:40:53,644
able to

1109
00:40:54,105 --> 00:40:56,344
conduct ourselves in a way that is not

1110
00:40:56,344 --> 00:40:56,844
going

1111
00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:59,119
to cause any harm.

1112
00:41:00,539 --> 00:41:01,199
And so

1113
00:41:01,579 --> 00:41:04,400
as I was going through, I was working

1114
00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:07,359
on my bachelor's degree. I was

1115
00:41:07,659 --> 00:41:10,684
figuring out who I am and you know,

1116
00:41:10,684 --> 00:41:12,525
what what is my purpose in this world

1117
00:41:12,525 --> 00:41:14,284
and where am I gonna do, you know,

1118
00:41:14,284 --> 00:41:15,724
what am I doing with all of this

1119
00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:16,224
stuff?

1120
00:41:17,085 --> 00:41:18,465
Aloha came about,

1121
00:41:18,844 --> 00:41:20,625
and it came to me

1122
00:41:21,405 --> 00:41:22,304
in a dream

1123
00:41:22,910 --> 00:41:26,530
because I started to realize that the conversations

1124
00:41:26,989 --> 00:41:29,890
that we were having with each other, and

1125
00:41:30,030 --> 00:41:31,329
I should say with myself,

1126
00:41:31,869 --> 00:41:34,750
wasn't resulting to the outcomes that I really

1127
00:41:34,750 --> 00:41:35,250
wanted.

1128
00:41:35,684 --> 00:41:36,184
Back

1129
00:41:36,644 --> 00:41:38,025
then, my husband

1130
00:41:38,565 --> 00:41:40,485
and I, you know, we were in this

1131
00:41:40,485 --> 00:41:41,465
place of,

1132
00:41:41,844 --> 00:41:43,385
I was in this place of decolonization.

1133
00:41:46,565 --> 00:41:48,405
And I started to look at him and

1134
00:41:48,405 --> 00:41:50,324
he's a six two blonde hair, blue eyed

1135
00:41:50,324 --> 00:41:53,199
guy. And I started to look at him

1136
00:41:53,199 --> 00:41:54,179
as the colonizer.

1137
00:41:55,039 --> 00:41:57,359
And I started to tell him that he

1138
00:41:57,359 --> 00:41:59,059
was occupying my space.

1139
00:41:59,359 --> 00:42:01,440
And it's like I would call him, you

1140
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:01,940
know,

1141
00:42:02,559 --> 00:42:04,179
the the white guy and

1142
00:42:04,574 --> 00:42:07,234
haole and all of these derogatory things

1143
00:42:08,094 --> 00:42:11,054
that we actually slapped in separate rooms for

1144
00:42:11,054 --> 00:42:13,295
over a year as I was going through

1145
00:42:13,295 --> 00:42:16,255
this process. Right? I would say these things

1146
00:42:16,255 --> 00:42:19,295
about him and I pretty much would tell

1147
00:42:19,295 --> 00:42:23,150
him that, man, you are you are everything

1148
00:42:23,210 --> 00:42:24,429
that I wanna dismantle

1149
00:42:24,809 --> 00:42:25,789
in this world.

1150
00:42:26,329 --> 00:42:26,829
You

1151
00:42:27,130 --> 00:42:28,110
are the representation

1152
00:42:28,650 --> 00:42:31,690
of everything that is wrong in this world.

1153
00:42:31,690 --> 00:42:34,005
That's pretty heavy. And it was it was

1154
00:42:34,005 --> 00:42:36,244
heavy. And you can't help how he was

1155
00:42:36,244 --> 00:42:37,704
born either. Exactly.

1156
00:42:38,244 --> 00:42:38,744
Exactly.

1157
00:42:39,204 --> 00:42:39,704
Exactly.

1158
00:42:40,404 --> 00:42:42,244
And as I were going through this and

1159
00:42:42,244 --> 00:42:44,005
we slept in separate rooms, you know, it

1160
00:42:44,005 --> 00:42:46,244
was like our grandson who is,

1161
00:42:47,090 --> 00:42:49,170
he's 16 now, but he was only eight

1162
00:42:49,170 --> 00:42:49,570
was,

1163
00:42:50,449 --> 00:42:52,050
was hearing all of this. I didn't know

1164
00:42:52,050 --> 00:42:53,730
that he was hearing it. Right? It's like

1165
00:42:53,730 --> 00:42:57,090
I wasn't aware that he was often another

1166
00:42:57,090 --> 00:42:58,769
place, but he was hearing the words that

1167
00:42:58,769 --> 00:43:00,070
his JIMO was saying.

1168
00:43:00,434 --> 00:43:03,315
Moana came out and I was talking about

1169
00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:06,035
my people and that it's like I was

1170
00:43:06,035 --> 00:43:07,875
telling you, I'm like, Lyric, these are your

1171
00:43:07,875 --> 00:43:08,375
ancestors.

1172
00:43:09,315 --> 00:43:12,515
Your ancestors were warriors and they traveled across

1173
00:43:12,515 --> 00:43:13,655
the Pacific North,

1174
00:43:14,195 --> 00:43:17,130
the Pacific. They understood the stars and the

1175
00:43:17,130 --> 00:43:18,730
moon and the ocean, and they were in

1176
00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:21,050
connection with everything. So he's like, Wow, these

1177
00:43:21,050 --> 00:43:22,989
are my people. And he's getting all excited.

1178
00:43:23,609 --> 00:43:25,389
And so my husband is flipping

1179
00:43:26,089 --> 00:43:28,425
through HBO. He comes across Vikings. Yeah. I

1180
00:43:28,425 --> 00:43:30,344
was just gonna say the Vikings did pretty

1181
00:43:30,344 --> 00:43:31,085
damn good

1182
00:43:32,105 --> 00:43:33,324
with the same thing.

1183
00:43:33,864 --> 00:43:37,065
Comes across the Vikings. Exactly. And he starts

1184
00:43:37,065 --> 00:43:39,704
talking about Vikings and everything that Vikings have

1185
00:43:39,704 --> 00:43:43,460
done. Yeah. And so our grandson was like,

1186
00:43:43,519 --> 00:43:44,019
Jima,

1187
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:44,980
if

1188
00:43:45,519 --> 00:43:47,940
Moana is your people and I'm your grandson,

1189
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,260
then that makes Moana my people.

1190
00:43:50,559 --> 00:43:52,320
And I was like, that's right. And then

1191
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:53,059
he goes,

1192
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:53,860
papa,

1193
00:43:54,644 --> 00:43:57,364
if Vikings are your people and I'm your

1194
00:43:57,364 --> 00:43:57,864
grandson,

1195
00:43:58,405 --> 00:44:00,105
then Vikings are my people.

1196
00:44:01,045 --> 00:44:02,344
And I was like, no.

1197
00:44:03,204 --> 00:44:05,465
But I was like, yes, yes, it is.

1198
00:44:05,925 --> 00:44:09,410
And so he goes, he's eight. He goes,

1199
00:44:09,410 --> 00:44:11,010
you know, back to his parents. He comes

1200
00:44:11,010 --> 00:44:12,930
back the next, the next week or so.

1201
00:44:12,930 --> 00:44:15,170
And all of a sudden he's afraid of

1202
00:44:15,170 --> 00:44:15,670
me.

1203
00:44:16,050 --> 00:44:18,050
He doesn't want to hug me. He's very

1204
00:44:18,050 --> 00:44:20,130
distant from me every time, you know, it's

1205
00:44:20,130 --> 00:44:21,775
like I, I go and hug him, he

1206
00:44:21,775 --> 00:44:23,775
kind of like, I could feel his entire

1207
00:44:23,775 --> 00:44:25,074
body stiffen up.

1208
00:44:25,695 --> 00:44:26,195
And

1209
00:44:26,655 --> 00:44:28,815
so I asked him, I said, grandson, what's

1210
00:44:28,815 --> 00:44:30,434
going on? You know,

1211
00:44:30,735 --> 00:44:31,554
what's happening?

1212
00:44:32,094 --> 00:44:34,515
And he's really sad. And he goes, Jima,

1213
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,960
you say that Moana is my people because

1214
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,039
that's your people. And I'm like, yep. And

1215
00:44:40,039 --> 00:44:42,760
he goes, and Viking is my people because

1216
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,339
it's papa people. And I'm like, yes.

1217
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,719
And he goes, so Jima, which part of

1218
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:49,179
me do you not love?

1219
00:44:49,559 --> 00:44:50,059
Oh,

1220
00:44:50,555 --> 00:44:51,934
from the mouths of babes.

1221
00:44:53,195 --> 00:44:53,695
Which

1222
00:44:54,715 --> 00:44:57,135
part which part of me do you not

1223
00:44:57,355 --> 00:44:57,855
love?

1224
00:44:58,474 --> 00:45:00,875
And it was at that moment when I

1225
00:45:00,875 --> 00:45:03,454
realized that I was like, oh my gosh.

1226
00:45:04,469 --> 00:45:06,550
What am I doing? Mhmm. What am I

1227
00:45:06,550 --> 00:45:08,489
doing? I cannot be asking

1228
00:45:08,949 --> 00:45:09,769
my grandson

1229
00:45:10,070 --> 00:45:11,369
to dissect himself

1230
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:13,909
because if I kept if I if we

1231
00:45:13,909 --> 00:45:15,130
never had this conversation,

1232
00:45:16,150 --> 00:45:18,329
that part of him, he will hide.

1233
00:45:18,714 --> 00:45:20,414
That part of him he will hate.

1234
00:45:20,875 --> 00:45:23,034
Mhmm. And he will hate part of that

1235
00:45:23,034 --> 00:45:25,755
part of himself because Jima does not love

1236
00:45:25,755 --> 00:45:28,074
that part of him. And I'm like, no.

1237
00:45:28,074 --> 00:45:30,335
I cannot do this. This is not aloha.

1238
00:45:30,890 --> 00:45:32,110
This is not aloha.

1239
00:45:32,489 --> 00:45:33,710
So in my dream,

1240
00:45:34,090 --> 00:45:36,510
the guiding principles of aloha was born.

1241
00:45:37,050 --> 00:45:40,170
And so A is to ask questions and

1242
00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:43,230
inquire to avoid making unnecessary assumptions.

1243
00:45:45,284 --> 00:45:48,164
Listen deeply to understand what is being said

1244
00:45:48,164 --> 00:45:49,464
without any judgment.

1245
00:45:50,244 --> 00:45:52,565
And if you're going to ask questions and

1246
00:45:52,565 --> 00:45:53,625
you're going to listen,

1247
00:45:54,085 --> 00:45:57,204
you need to observe, always to observe your

1248
00:45:57,204 --> 00:45:58,204
body, observe the somatic response that is happening

1249
00:45:58,204 --> 00:45:58,994
in yourself and what is happening with the

1250
00:46:08,519 --> 00:46:09,260
heart focused

1251
00:46:10,039 --> 00:46:10,539
is

1252
00:46:10,839 --> 00:46:11,980
the place where

1253
00:46:12,305 --> 00:46:15,184
love and compassion and empathy and all of

1254
00:46:15,184 --> 00:46:16,164
Aloha resides.

1255
00:46:16,545 --> 00:46:18,644
So that way we could adapt,

1256
00:46:19,425 --> 00:46:19,925
adapt

1257
00:46:20,305 --> 00:46:23,184
and acknowledge that we come from different places

1258
00:46:23,184 --> 00:46:25,125
with different ideas, with different

1259
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:25,980
perspectives,

1260
00:46:26,519 --> 00:46:29,160
and that when we are able to adapt

1261
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:30,300
our mind frame

1262
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:32,840
and the way that we think, we can

1263
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,099
learn more, which can expand

1264
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,074
our horizon, can expand our understanding of the

1265
00:46:39,074 --> 00:46:39,574
world.

1266
00:46:39,954 --> 00:46:41,815
And Aloha was born

1267
00:46:42,114 --> 00:46:44,994
because my grandson who was eight years old

1268
00:46:44,994 --> 00:46:45,894
at that time

1269
00:46:46,434 --> 00:46:48,295
asked me which part of me

1270
00:46:48,594 --> 00:46:50,054
do I not love.

1271
00:46:51,670 --> 00:46:52,250
Mhmm. Powerful.

1272
00:46:52,869 --> 00:46:54,250
The innocence of a child

1273
00:46:54,710 --> 00:46:56,710
Right. Who has not yet been taught to

1274
00:46:56,710 --> 00:46:58,710
hate and is just starting to learn what

1275
00:46:58,710 --> 00:47:00,010
that word even means.

1276
00:47:00,390 --> 00:47:00,890
Yes.

1277
00:47:01,430 --> 00:47:02,730
Yes. Exactly.

1278
00:47:03,110 --> 00:47:05,675
Exactly. And now he's 16.

1279
00:47:06,055 --> 00:47:07,914
And oh my gosh. It's

1280
00:47:08,295 --> 00:47:09,994
it's so amazing because

1281
00:47:10,295 --> 00:47:11,675
we went to have lunch,

1282
00:47:12,135 --> 00:47:12,635
yesterday,

1283
00:47:12,934 --> 00:47:13,434
and

1284
00:47:13,894 --> 00:47:15,015
he's talking about,

1285
00:47:15,414 --> 00:47:16,934
he wants to go back home. Right? He's

1286
00:47:16,934 --> 00:47:18,670
like, Jima, he would, I wanna go I

1287
00:47:18,670 --> 00:47:20,510
wanna go to Hawaii. And I was like,

1288
00:47:20,510 --> 00:47:22,610
okay. I'm like, let's go. And he goes,

1289
00:47:22,829 --> 00:47:24,510
I'm like, but it may be a while,

1290
00:47:24,510 --> 00:47:25,489
you know, before,

1291
00:47:25,789 --> 00:47:27,710
you know, because he had, he plays soccer

1292
00:47:27,710 --> 00:47:29,469
and he's in school. I said, you know,

1293
00:47:29,469 --> 00:47:30,989
he goes, let's just go to Hawaii for

1294
00:47:30,989 --> 00:47:33,224
the weekend. And I'm like, you can't go

1295
00:47:33,224 --> 00:47:35,224
to Hawaii just for the weekend. We're not

1296
00:47:35,224 --> 00:47:36,984
gonna fly five and a half hours and

1297
00:47:36,984 --> 00:47:38,824
stay for the weekend. And he's like he's

1298
00:47:38,824 --> 00:47:40,505
like, alright, Jima. He goes, it's okay because

1299
00:47:40,505 --> 00:47:42,105
you know what? Hawaii lives in me. And

1300
00:47:42,105 --> 00:47:43,885
I looked at him. I'm like, what?

1301
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:49,719
Like, he's so proud. He is so proud

1302
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,679
of of who he is. You know, on

1303
00:47:52,679 --> 00:47:55,159
his mom's side, his dad, his grandfather's from

1304
00:47:55,159 --> 00:47:55,900
The Philippines.

1305
00:47:56,359 --> 00:47:59,320
Mhmm. And so he's got that culture, that

1306
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,135
deep culture of being Filipino.

1307
00:48:02,755 --> 00:48:05,094
And so it's like when he's in spaces,

1308
00:48:05,235 --> 00:48:06,855
I can see on how

1309
00:48:07,155 --> 00:48:10,135
he has learned how to navigate those spaces

1310
00:48:11,074 --> 00:48:14,630
where he embodies everything that is around him

1311
00:48:14,630 --> 00:48:17,050
because of who he is. And so he

1312
00:48:17,910 --> 00:48:18,730
code switches.

1313
00:48:19,110 --> 00:48:20,710
Yeah. I was just going to ask about

1314
00:48:20,710 --> 00:48:21,769
that. Yeah.

1315
00:48:22,630 --> 00:48:24,950
He code switches and he code switches in

1316
00:48:24,950 --> 00:48:26,090
a way that

1317
00:48:26,635 --> 00:48:29,835
the people around him are just really they

1318
00:48:29,835 --> 00:48:31,454
they see him and they're like, wow.

1319
00:48:32,155 --> 00:48:34,394
He knows how to live his whole. Mhmm.

1320
00:48:34,394 --> 00:48:36,954
And the only reason is because of the

1321
00:48:36,954 --> 00:48:38,815
people that surrounds him

1322
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,800
and that, you know, it's like he learned

1323
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:43,900
with us and we've learned with him,

1324
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,380
and we've been in challenging situations

1325
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,139
where we were able

1326
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:49,260
to

1327
00:48:49,559 --> 00:48:52,300
aloha each other. We were able to

1328
00:48:52,695 --> 00:48:55,735
ask these hard questions and truly listen with

1329
00:48:55,735 --> 00:48:56,715
our whole selves,

1330
00:48:57,335 --> 00:49:00,135
right, and just observe what is happening. And

1331
00:49:00,135 --> 00:49:02,474
so the guiding principles of Aloha

1332
00:49:03,094 --> 00:49:04,715
taught me how to

1333
00:49:05,255 --> 00:49:05,755
engage

1334
00:49:06,055 --> 00:49:07,114
in these

1335
00:49:07,670 --> 00:49:08,809
complex conversations

1336
00:49:09,349 --> 00:49:11,849
because I have to live it myself. It's

1337
00:49:12,150 --> 00:49:12,970
not easy.

1338
00:49:13,910 --> 00:49:16,410
It's a process. We are in a continual

1339
00:49:16,710 --> 00:49:19,190
growth until the day we take our last

1340
00:49:19,190 --> 00:49:20,170
breath, and then

1341
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:23,744
I'm in my belief system, it doesn't end

1342
00:49:23,744 --> 00:49:24,945
there. So

1343
00:49:25,744 --> 00:49:28,724
Right. How might people find you?

1344
00:49:29,344 --> 00:49:31,025
Well, they can find me at,

1345
00:49:31,905 --> 00:49:34,385
co three consulting. So it's c o, the

1346
00:49:34,385 --> 00:49:37,250
number three, consulting dot net is my website.

1347
00:49:37,710 --> 00:49:40,750
Aloha Doctor G on Instagram is where they

1348
00:49:40,750 --> 00:49:43,230
can find me, on Facebook as well too,

1349
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:46,510
doctor Jerry Baloroza Tunnell on LinkedIn. So they

1350
00:49:46,510 --> 00:49:48,110
can find me they can find me pretty

1351
00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:50,585
much on the social medias and on my

1352
00:49:50,585 --> 00:49:52,364
website and on your podcast.

1353
00:49:53,704 --> 00:49:55,644
That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

1354
00:49:56,105 --> 00:49:58,505
Jerry, thank you so much for being on

1355
00:49:58,505 --> 00:50:00,824
the show. Thank you. Yes. Thank you for

1356
00:50:00,824 --> 00:50:03,019
having me. Thank you for having me. This

1357
00:50:03,019 --> 00:50:04,559
has been a pleasure.

1358
00:50:05,260 --> 00:50:06,800
Yeah. I loved our conversation.

1359
00:50:07,099 --> 00:50:08,480
I I like that it

1360
00:50:09,099 --> 00:50:10,800
got deep and philosophical

1361
00:50:11,099 --> 00:50:11,599
rapidly.

1362
00:50:12,059 --> 00:50:13,760
Those are my favorite kinds.

1363
00:50:17,204 --> 00:50:18,484
Oh, I know. Me too. I could have

1364
00:50:18,484 --> 00:50:19,864
these conversations forever.

1365
00:50:20,164 --> 00:50:23,045
Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. Thank

1366
00:50:23,045 --> 00:50:25,144
you. And thank you for listening, everybody.

1367
00:50:25,764 --> 00:50:26,264
Bye.

1368
00:50:26,964 --> 00:50:27,464
Bye.

1369
00:50:30,069 --> 00:50:32,710
Rate, review, and subscribe to Hey Human podcast

1370
00:50:32,710 --> 00:50:35,349
on Apple, iHeart, and Spotify podcasts, or wherever

1371
00:50:35,349 --> 00:50:37,130
you get your podcasts. Thanks.

1372
00:50:37,429 --> 00:50:37,929
Bye.