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Hey, humans. How's it going? Susan Ruth here.

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Thanks for listening to another episode

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of Hey, Human podcast.

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This is episode 436,

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and my guest is doctor Cheryl Rich.

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Cheryl Rich is the worlds of entertainment,

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community service, and spiritual leadership.

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She's a clinical psychologist,

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author, and producer.

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She's been active for 2 decades in street

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ministry and as a certified victims mediator and

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intervention specialist,

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focusing on helping those affected by trauma and

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adversity.

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Her personal journey includes addiction, incarceration,

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and an unbearable

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loss.

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She's a woman of resilience and deep beliefs

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who mentors and lifts up those around her.

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We met by happenstance,

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and her energy

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and light radiated

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and

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really connected to her right away. And

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she was so kind to say yes to

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this interview,

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and I'm excited for you to hear it.

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Check out heyhumanpodcast.com

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for links and to learn more about my

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guests in the show. Hey Human Podcast is

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on YouTube under official Susan Ruth. I'm on

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patreon at susanruthism,

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and I appreciate

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your help there because it helps keep the

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show going,

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keeps it ad free.

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My TikToks and Instagram

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is under susanruthism.

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Check out susanruth.com

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to learn more about me and my other

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artistic endeavors, and

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find my music on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon

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Music, wherever you get your music. Rate, review,

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and subscribe to Hey Human Podcast on Apple,

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Iheart, and Spotify

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podcast places or wherever you get and listen

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to podcasts.

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Thank you for listening, and be well,

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be kind,

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be love.

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Here we go.

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Doctor Sholrich, welcome to Hey Human.

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Honored.

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How's it going?

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Wow.

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Everything is wonderful. We as long as we

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wake up.

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Oh, amen to that. By the way, your,

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Zoom picture is so cool. I love the

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white hair.

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Yeah. That I mean, purple is awesome too,

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but the that white is so cool.

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Yeah. You know, auntie Cheryl.

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Duh. That's what I always want you youngsters

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to to know that I will I'm the

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auntie around here. Somebody's gotta be willing to

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grow

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old.

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I tell everyone you either get to grow

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old or you make a beautiful young corpse.

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Wow. I got a lot of young people

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get mad at me when I say that,

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but we've got to respect this thing called

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age.

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It's so important because, this society

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has been set up not to respect

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the gift of growing old. And that takes

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me back to growing gold,

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g o l d.

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One day, you're gonna need that youngster and

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all of you youngsters to see this wonderful

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podcast that she was guided

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to start way before podcasts got popular.

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You know, you've been doing this a while.

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So run gold, not old,

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makes me have fun. So that's why the

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white wig, the purple wig, the glasses,

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and mama didn't give me enough attention when

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I was little.

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No mamas can.

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Do you have kids? No. Uh-uh. I like

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kids. I think kids are magical as I

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but I feel the same about people who

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are considered the elderly. That's why I love

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that in a lot of cultures,

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the the ref the reference of auntie or

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uncle or grandfather. I'm reading a book right

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now and it's, about an indigenous family,

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Ojibwe.

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And,

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you know, all the elders are called uncle,

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aunt,

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or grandfather, and I freaking love or grandmother.

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And I love that so much that honor

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bestowed upon people who know some things.

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My response to you is that all life

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is a journey.

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So I re you know, you embracing

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that the creator made you the mother of

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the earth.

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So you can mother many instead of having

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to focus on 1.

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Having a child is a challenge, and,

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I when you talk about wisdom,

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I was talking to someone the other day,

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and I said,

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you really don't get that unless you get

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the gift of age.

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So I said, wait a minute. I was

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a 12 year old mother.

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I didn't have any wisdom.

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12 years old.

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So young.

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Yes.

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Very young. But I didn't have any wisdom,

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you know, be to to do something so,

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I think it's the most imp you know,

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one of the most important things we're chosen

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to do.

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And, yet didn't get the wisdom till I

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got a older golder.

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We don't give

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ourselves

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lessons in

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parenting

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because we're, many of us were ill parented

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by people who also had no parents,

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and that generational trauma

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that goes down through the ages.

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And it go it can go one of

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2 ways. Right? You can either love someone

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with such veracity

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because of what you were lacking,

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or you can

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hold them responsible

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in a way for whatever happened to you.

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Right? Those are the two ways it goes.

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There's not usually a lot of middle ground

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there.

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There aren't any rules to being a parent.

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I often say when I when I come

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up out of my body, you know, get

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my wings, I said we all get our

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wings. I'm gonna, like I said I was

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gonna get guidance. Wait a minute.

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I snatched guard into just like, how could

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you

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give instructions to put a bike together, how

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to work on a car?

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I I would not become a parent.

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So, you know, it,

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there's no rules. And that's why we can

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say, I'm so happy you said the trauma

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that we've

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somehow, most of us and I don't think

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anyone gets out without experiencing some trauma,

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no matter if you come from poverty or

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privilege.

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And the trauma that our parents endured

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and the and the trickle down, I'm so

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glad you said that because

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it's so easy to say blame, blame, blame.

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And Yeah.

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That doesn't heal.

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I remember when I was around 18, I

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had a, you know, a complicated childhood. I

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remember around 18, I

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started seeing my parents as human beings separate

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than mom and dad.

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And that's such a weird shift to realize

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that they have their own story

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and that

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I think everybody has a choice with how

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you treat others.

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And I think sometimes

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we can fall back on an excuse of

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like, oh, well, I was treated this way,

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and that's why I do that. But I

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still think you have dominion over your own

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self.

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Mhmm. But I think it does get

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exponentially more complicated depending on the trauma you

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carry

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Mhmm. On how you treat others. It's boy,

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humaning is not for the weak of heart.

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That's for sure.

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That's why I love the title of your

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podcast, Hey Human. Hey. Hey.

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You know?

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I love it.

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I'm your the generation that raised you,

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and I apologize to all of you because

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because

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I'm 65.

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I don't know. How old is your

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They're they're much older. I was the accidental

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baby. I came along. Yeah. They didn't know

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they could still have children and surprise.

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So you were the gifted child?

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I I suppose. Let's get these virus right

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back because they I'm telling you, we get

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told stuff when we're little when we're little,

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and it just follows us and be like,

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I'm the accident. Like, I was my mother,

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actually paid for an abortion.

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Like, left one town, went back home to

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her mother and paid money, and went and

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got up on a makeshift abortion table, and

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it took place.

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So you understand when, 2 weeks later, she's

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gushing blood, rushed to the hospital in the

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ghetto streets of Cleveland, Ohio, and told,

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you're pregnant. And she's like, no. I took

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care of that. That's how the story goes.

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That's how I've heard it. And she says

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that,

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they no. You may the doctor said you

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may have thought you took care of it,

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but she said, well, get rid of it.

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You know?

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And she said the doctor said, no, if

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we don't pack you right now, you're gonna

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bleed to death.

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So I had to come into this world.

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And I always say I hid behind the

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left portion of the liver. Oh, you know,

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like

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so

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that being said is,

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you were the gifted child

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by, let's see,

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71,

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72. We're hearing songs, like, in music is

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medicine. Music can literally control the world if

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you ask me. And we're hearing songs like,

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runaway child, running wild.

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Better go back home

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where you belong.

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And that's the temptations. Anybody wanna look up

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those lyrics?

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And

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then we got into the disco.

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And that was after Woodstock, and it was

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just like,

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you know, free yourself.

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Yeah. And nobody talked about the past.

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So your parents' parents and my mother, who's

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89, that was the past. Leave it back

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there.

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And so we were the generation

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that came and hit, like,

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77, 78, early eighties, and we was loose.

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It was sex, drugs, and rock and roll,

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baby. And did nobody talk about the past,

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and no healing,

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was done. It was all medication,

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you know, drugs.

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The era era of the Quaalude. Right? Yeah.

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Exactly. And many other things, and I've done

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it all. I I was one of those

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ones in a lot of pain. And if

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it was a drug to try, I did

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it. So with all that saying, is when

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say it, when you understand that it's not

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like I loved it when you said the

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00:10:09,855 --> 00:10:11,475
trauma. We're talking about

277
00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:13,634
centuries ago. Yeah.

278
00:10:14,654 --> 00:10:15,875
House passed down.

279
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:17,949
Then no excuses,

280
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,490
but we sure can make a choice. You

281
00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:23,529
and I and everyone who's chosen and highly

282
00:10:23,529 --> 00:10:24,990
favored to find you,

283
00:10:25,610 --> 00:10:27,629
and, hey, human, we can make a choice

284
00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:30,144
to heal into this thing called life. To

285
00:10:30,144 --> 00:10:31,904
live. I also believe that when we do

286
00:10:31,904 --> 00:10:34,004
our own healing, it goes backward.

287
00:10:34,625 --> 00:10:37,105
It goes back through the generations, and that

288
00:10:37,105 --> 00:10:39,424
I'd like to think that when I work

289
00:10:39,424 --> 00:10:42,065
on me and that the trauma that I

290
00:10:42,065 --> 00:10:42,565
have,

291
00:10:43,105 --> 00:10:45,750
that it starts to repair and heal the

292
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:48,169
trauma of my mother and my grandmother and

293
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,470
my great grandmother, that it goes back through

294
00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:51,129
the line.

295
00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:52,490
Wow.

296
00:10:52,950 --> 00:10:54,629
And that makes sense because I get a

297
00:10:54,629 --> 00:10:55,929
chance to see an example.

298
00:10:57,225 --> 00:10:59,465
You decided, I'm not gonna keep hurting. I'm

299
00:10:59,465 --> 00:11:01,565
not gonna be addicted to chaos and confusion.

300
00:11:03,065 --> 00:11:05,304
You know, when we think that, you know,

301
00:11:05,304 --> 00:11:07,384
this thing called color is real, you know,

302
00:11:07,384 --> 00:11:08,205
skin color,

303
00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:11,320
You know, that nobody really understands that we

304
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,179
all suffered from the greed

305
00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:15,340
that created,

306
00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:20,120
the energy and specifically in this land. Could

307
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:20,860
you imagine

308
00:11:21,879 --> 00:11:22,700
little Timmy,

309
00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:24,504
who's in the big house,

310
00:11:24,805 --> 00:11:27,144
and little black Sambo, who's enslaved?

311
00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:29,684
I always like to say that no you

312
00:11:29,684 --> 00:11:31,285
can't choose the best of the best of

313
00:11:31,285 --> 00:11:32,644
the best and turn it to a slave.

314
00:11:32,644 --> 00:11:33,625
We were enslaved.

315
00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:36,725
And little Timmy and and little black Sambo

316
00:11:36,725 --> 00:11:38,504
are just friends, and they play together.

317
00:11:39,049 --> 00:11:41,149
And Little Timmy says, Little Black Sambo,

318
00:11:41,690 --> 00:11:43,289
Little Black Sambo, I'm gonna go in the

319
00:11:43,289 --> 00:11:44,889
house, and I'm gonna go get some lemonade.

320
00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:45,870
I'll be back.

321
00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:48,409
And we'll start playing hide and seek when

322
00:11:48,409 --> 00:11:50,169
I come back, because they were playing hide

323
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:50,829
and seek.

324
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,575
And Little White Timmy comes back out and

325
00:11:53,575 --> 00:11:54,795
says, 'Little Black Sambo,

326
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,815
Little Black Sambo, where are you? Little Black

327
00:11:57,815 --> 00:12:00,375
Sambo, come out. We're not playing Little Black

328
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:01,894
Sambo!' And he starts to walk around, and

329
00:12:01,894 --> 00:12:03,835
then suddenly hears something in the bar.

330
00:12:05,209 --> 00:12:07,149
And Little White Timmy looks in

331
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,149
and looks in his eyes

332
00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:12,110
the eyes of his little black Sambo friend

333
00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:15,389
while Timmy's daddy is sodomizing.

334
00:12:17,705 --> 00:12:18,845
Little Black Sambal.

335
00:12:20,024 --> 00:12:21,565
Now that evening at dinner,

336
00:12:22,345 --> 00:12:24,105
Little White Timmy got to look at his

337
00:12:24,105 --> 00:12:24,924
white father,

338
00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:29,465
and the eyes lock while the family's sitting

339
00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:31,245
at the table. And now

340
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:32,750
there's a secret,

341
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,269
a secret that rottens the soul.

342
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:40,590
So the enslavement trade

343
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:42,750
affected all of us

344
00:12:43,610 --> 00:12:45,850
in such a profound way. So when you

345
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:48,535
say, maybe my ancestors weren't all good, they

346
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,815
were, a child is born with a heart

347
00:12:51,815 --> 00:12:52,394
of gold.

348
00:12:53,415 --> 00:12:54,955
Way of the world

349
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:56,955
makes his heart

350
00:12:57,335 --> 00:12:58,555
so cold.

351
00:12:59,014 --> 00:13:00,634
That's the earth, wind, and fire.

352
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,540
So we are all born good, and

353
00:13:05,399 --> 00:13:06,620
every one of us

354
00:13:07,799 --> 00:13:08,299
experiences

355
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,860
the trauma that was there

356
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:12,220
before us.

357
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,240
By talking about it and becoming aware of

358
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:15,740
it,

359
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:19,315
your healing is for your ancestors. You better

360
00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:21,315
believe it. For your family to look at

361
00:13:21,315 --> 00:13:23,654
you and say, wow. She's making choices

362
00:13:25,394 --> 00:13:26,695
to not hurt anymore.

363
00:13:28,035 --> 00:13:28,855
That's wonderful.

364
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,679
Yeah. And that's why I think it's so

365
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:32,500
important to

366
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,420
speak the words of history.

367
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,120
You know? People like to say, oh, we

368
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,720
don't need to talk about that anymore. We

369
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,059
don't need to talk about that anymore or

370
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,860
whitewash it or rewrite or whatever the heck.

371
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:44,660
And

372
00:13:46,495 --> 00:13:48,815
we need to talk about the pain of

373
00:13:48,815 --> 00:13:49,475
the past

374
00:13:50,894 --> 00:13:53,774
because it's a deep freaking hole. It's a

375
00:13:53,774 --> 00:13:54,274
deep,

376
00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:55,315
deep

377
00:13:55,774 --> 00:13:58,175
hole. And how do holes heal? You don't

378
00:13:58,175 --> 00:13:59,695
just put a band aid on it and

379
00:13:59,695 --> 00:14:00,434
walk away

380
00:14:00,759 --> 00:14:03,240
because it leaves all that festering that no

381
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,639
one can see under the surface. Right? You

382
00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:07,579
have to start healing a wound

383
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,539
from the bottom of it, and it comes

384
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,819
up. Anyone who's ever cut themselves knows that.

385
00:14:14,184 --> 00:14:17,485
The it's it heals from the bottom up.

386
00:14:17,705 --> 00:14:19,465
I the last person I shared that with

387
00:14:19,465 --> 00:14:22,425
was a white male named Michael. And once

388
00:14:22,425 --> 00:14:24,264
I shared that with him, he just burst

389
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,004
out crying.

390
00:14:25,384 --> 00:14:25,884
Mhmm.

391
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,940
He started crying. He was like, my father

392
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,299
my father

393
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,059
molested me.

394
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,059
Everybody wants to heal.

395
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,440
That moment, he just and I just grabbed

396
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,279
and hugged him. It's so easy to bury

397
00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:40,039
the past. Like you said, the sword doesn't

398
00:14:40,039 --> 00:14:44,144
heal. Secrets are not secrets are pain. Secrets

399
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,845
are pain and secrets are shame.

400
00:14:46,304 --> 00:14:47,204
There is no

401
00:14:48,144 --> 00:14:49,845
there is no light in that.

402
00:14:50,384 --> 00:14:52,865
Mm-mm. Yeah. Now that we've got that out

403
00:14:52,865 --> 00:14:53,024
of

404
00:14:55,584 --> 00:14:58,230
Yeah. So just a little backstory, you and

405
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,769
I met at a a movie.

406
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,669
Listen, I guess it was a premiere at

407
00:15:01,669 --> 00:15:03,289
the premiere for no address.

408
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:04,250
And

409
00:15:04,789 --> 00:15:06,950
I walked by and you said hello, and

410
00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:09,110
I said hello, and we just started chatting.

411
00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:10,570
And to me, you just

412
00:15:11,029 --> 00:15:11,529
radiated,

413
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:14,044
And I thought, this is a person I

414
00:15:14,044 --> 00:15:16,204
wanna talk to you on the show. So

415
00:15:16,924 --> 00:15:19,404
Wow. It yeah. No address. It's a a

416
00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:21,884
whole full movie about our houseless brothers and

417
00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:24,284
sisters. Mhmm. Because earth is our home. None

418
00:15:24,284 --> 00:15:25,264
of us are homeless.

419
00:15:25,779 --> 00:15:26,279
But,

420
00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:29,139
everyone that gets a chance to hear this

421
00:15:29,139 --> 00:15:30,839
moment that we're talking about,

422
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:32,360
and, again, chosen

423
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:34,679
to tune in to Hey Human.

424
00:15:35,940 --> 00:15:36,919
Thanks to Susan.

425
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,835
Check out that movie, because that's where we

426
00:15:39,835 --> 00:15:42,235
met, and the energy, the vibration was it

427
00:15:42,235 --> 00:15:45,375
was rocking high, wasn't it? Yeah. Susan.

428
00:15:45,835 --> 00:15:47,434
And that's what we felt in the moment

429
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:49,934
when we we connected was that vibration.

430
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,089
And when you say, there's someone I want

431
00:15:53,089 --> 00:15:55,089
to get to know, it's an honor for

432
00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:56,070
you to say that,

433
00:15:56,769 --> 00:15:57,509
my generation,

434
00:15:57,889 --> 00:15:59,669
to be able to build a bridge

435
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,709
with the younger generation like you.

436
00:16:03,169 --> 00:16:04,709
And so what you felt was,

437
00:16:06,264 --> 00:16:08,105
energy, because it's like the wind. We don't

438
00:16:08,105 --> 00:16:09,485
see it, but we feel it.

439
00:16:09,865 --> 00:16:11,865
The best actor, the best actress can't cover

440
00:16:11,865 --> 00:16:13,384
it. You see a leaf moving, but you

441
00:16:13,384 --> 00:16:15,625
don't see. And then you look at someone

442
00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,464
and they treat you good, and then you

443
00:16:17,464 --> 00:16:20,345
see somebody else and you want them as

444
00:16:20,345 --> 00:16:20,845
energy.

445
00:16:21,269 --> 00:16:22,649
So that's what we felt.

446
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:23,750
And,

447
00:16:24,309 --> 00:16:25,910
that takes me to we were in a

448
00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:26,410
pure,

449
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,670
high vibrating environment, and that's how we ended

450
00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:30,330
up here.

451
00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:32,950
And I am from and no one likes

452
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,009
to claim the ghetto.

453
00:16:35,105 --> 00:16:36,784
You know, people don't like that word, you

454
00:16:36,784 --> 00:16:37,845
know, that's a negative.

455
00:16:38,304 --> 00:16:39,985
But somebody gotta claim it, so I claim

456
00:16:39,985 --> 00:16:42,644
it. And I am from the ghetto streets

457
00:16:42,704 --> 00:16:44,325
of Cleveland, Ohio.

458
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,804
And when I say that,

459
00:16:47,184 --> 00:16:47,684
luckily,

460
00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:50,320
I did have 2 parents.

461
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:53,740
They were as functional as they knew how

462
00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:54,320
to be.

463
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,700
But, if you're

464
00:16:57,259 --> 00:16:59,100
it, again, came out of a mother I

465
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:02,024
shared earlier who had taken care of her

466
00:17:02,024 --> 00:17:04,184
business and didn't want any other children. She

467
00:17:04,184 --> 00:17:05,484
had an 8 year old

468
00:17:05,785 --> 00:17:07,305
that she had to raise, and she had

469
00:17:07,305 --> 00:17:09,945
left Baltimore to come to Cleveland all by

470
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:10,445
herself.

471
00:17:11,305 --> 00:17:13,325
And so, that's where I'm from.

472
00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:14,365
And,

473
00:17:15,349 --> 00:17:16,089
you know, again, to

474
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:19,149
say a kid got pregnant and not at

475
00:17:19,149 --> 00:17:20,490
12, but 11.

476
00:17:21,269 --> 00:17:22,730
I was a mother by 12.

477
00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:25,049
Was it consensual?

478
00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:27,750
Not as much as a child can consent

479
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,049
to something. You know?

480
00:17:29,474 --> 00:17:30,515
No. I actually,

481
00:17:31,554 --> 00:17:32,054
priest.

482
00:17:32,835 --> 00:17:33,734
Oh, fuck.

483
00:17:34,835 --> 00:17:36,515
Makes you kinda I'm I I wanna keep

484
00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:38,835
that brief because most people get really sick.

485
00:17:38,835 --> 00:17:41,315
The stomach, like, yeah. Yeah. But it was

486
00:17:41,315 --> 00:17:43,095
Catholic. I was in that environment.

487
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,019
And our preachers,

488
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,740
our preacher's 13 year old son

489
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,139
and those 2 things happened

490
00:17:51,159 --> 00:17:54,039
simultaneous pretty close together. So baby came out

491
00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:55,019
looking like me.

492
00:17:55,815 --> 00:17:57,894
Got it. Who knows who you know, I

493
00:17:57,894 --> 00:18:00,394
didn't have time to care. That's for sure.

494
00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:02,615
Was there any thought of not keeping the

495
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,075
baby at that time?

496
00:18:04,694 --> 00:18:07,414
By the time the 2 parent household found

497
00:18:07,414 --> 00:18:07,914
out,

498
00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,815
they thought I was 5 months. I was

499
00:18:09,815 --> 00:18:11,599
7 months pregnant. Oh, wow.

500
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:14,059
It's a writer would have a hard time

501
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,619
writing this, and the book is eventually going

502
00:18:16,619 --> 00:18:17,279
to come,

503
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:20,480
right now, a naked insanity.

504
00:18:21,179 --> 00:18:22,240
And you could imagine

505
00:18:22,779 --> 00:18:24,619
why the creator gave me those two words

506
00:18:24,619 --> 00:18:25,599
to put it together.

507
00:18:26,265 --> 00:18:28,505
Writing has not been my happy place, like,

508
00:18:28,505 --> 00:18:29,005
torturous.

509
00:18:30,345 --> 00:18:32,984
Mhmm. I didn't, I often say after having

510
00:18:32,984 --> 00:18:35,384
a child at 12, I nearly stepped outside

511
00:18:35,384 --> 00:18:36,045
of life,

512
00:18:36,424 --> 00:18:38,525
and I just became a viewer

513
00:18:38,904 --> 00:18:39,565
of it.

514
00:18:40,265 --> 00:18:40,924
You know?

515
00:18:41,730 --> 00:18:43,829
I was sent away to a maternity home,

516
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,970
and it cost a lot of money, as

517
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:47,429
well as some of the best,

518
00:18:47,809 --> 00:18:48,630
quote, unquote,

519
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:49,750
care.

520
00:18:50,049 --> 00:18:52,230
But I don't remember one person,

521
00:18:52,769 --> 00:18:53,910
and it was caseworkers

522
00:18:54,289 --> 00:18:55,429
and social workers.

523
00:18:55,865 --> 00:18:58,345
I remember that. It was again, it was,

524
00:18:58,904 --> 00:18:59,404
private.

525
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:01,164
But I don't remember one

526
00:19:02,984 --> 00:19:03,484
thing

527
00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:06,825
that any adult said to me at that

528
00:19:06,825 --> 00:19:07,325
point.

529
00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:12,890
Not one. And, as a clinical psychologist now,

530
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,910
I have a master's in clinical psychology

531
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:18,089
and an ex convict. Let me put that

532
00:19:18,089 --> 00:19:19,930
out there. Yeah. We're gonna get there for

533
00:19:19,930 --> 00:19:20,829
sure. Yeah.

534
00:19:21,144 --> 00:19:23,464
You also have an honorary doctorate. Correct? I

535
00:19:23,464 --> 00:19:26,744
do. Yeah. I earn master's honorary doctors, and

536
00:19:26,744 --> 00:19:27,884
I hear all the time.

537
00:19:28,424 --> 00:19:29,325
Hey, Sheryl.

538
00:19:29,944 --> 00:19:31,944
Put more weight on what you are today.

539
00:19:31,944 --> 00:19:33,704
You know, you gotta leave that in the

540
00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:34,204
past.

541
00:19:34,664 --> 00:19:36,630
You know? You put too much weight on

542
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:38,630
that where you come from, though. It's look

543
00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:40,789
at who you are now, but It's all

544
00:19:40,789 --> 00:19:43,110
the same, though. Who we were is who

545
00:19:43,110 --> 00:19:43,769
we are.

546
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,710
Yeah. Yeah. You gotta gotta mention that past

547
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,390
to get to the future. Did did your

548
00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:49,910
parents go after the

549
00:19:50,775 --> 00:19:53,035
nope. No. It was always a secret

550
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,955
that rotten muscle.

551
00:19:55,414 --> 00:19:57,674
I know we'll jump around a lot, but

552
00:19:58,535 --> 00:19:59,894
I wanted to say that,

553
00:20:01,255 --> 00:20:03,894
they you know, being in this space and

554
00:20:03,894 --> 00:20:06,075
supposedly gonna give away this kid

555
00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:09,789
and private, not remembering one thing that an

556
00:20:09,789 --> 00:20:10,690
adult said.

557
00:20:11,390 --> 00:20:13,630
As a clinical psychologist, I think, how could

558
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:14,369
that happen?

559
00:20:15,390 --> 00:20:16,930
You know? But when

560
00:20:17,869 --> 00:20:20,049
something like that happens and you reinforce,

561
00:20:20,744 --> 00:20:22,285
I was in Cleveland, not Mississippi.

562
00:20:23,144 --> 00:20:26,184
You know? So my father's mother had him

563
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,904
at 13. It was but in Cleveland, Ohio

564
00:20:28,904 --> 00:20:29,644
in 1970

565
00:20:30,585 --> 00:20:32,924
71, it was unheard of, almost.

566
00:20:33,305 --> 00:20:34,444
And so I understand

567
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:36,880
they were so

568
00:20:37,259 --> 00:20:37,759
outdone

569
00:20:38,619 --> 00:20:39,440
that I was,

570
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:41,119
you know, 11,

571
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,700
that the, caseworkers and the social workers used

572
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,000
to just discuss that.

573
00:20:47,674 --> 00:20:49,054
So no no healing.

574
00:20:49,674 --> 00:20:50,174
Yeah.

575
00:20:51,115 --> 00:20:52,554
And did you end up giving up the

576
00:20:52,554 --> 00:20:53,054
child?

577
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:55,674
I was supposed to. It's strange to say

578
00:20:55,674 --> 00:20:58,255
that because it was a maternity home where

579
00:20:58,474 --> 00:20:59,375
you were known

580
00:20:59,755 --> 00:21:01,855
first name, last initial only.

581
00:21:02,269 --> 00:21:02,909
Lot of,

582
00:21:03,309 --> 00:21:03,809
incest,

583
00:21:05,069 --> 00:21:07,169
fathers, raped daughters, brothers.

584
00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:10,269
And, at the 12th hour, because daddy was

585
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,589
from Mississippi, daddy said, the baby come home

586
00:21:12,589 --> 00:21:13,730
while all you

587
00:21:15,194 --> 00:21:15,934
gotta leave.

588
00:21:16,714 --> 00:21:18,575
And, Eric came home,

589
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,654
and I became a sideshow.

590
00:21:21,034 --> 00:21:22,954
And that's when I I say I stepped

591
00:21:22,954 --> 00:21:25,534
outside of life. You know? That explains

592
00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:28,474
and I often when I speak in foster

593
00:21:28,474 --> 00:21:30,174
homes, funeral halls,

594
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:30,980
prisons,

595
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,179
I used to do it regularly. I always

596
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,319
let young people know that I could have

597
00:21:36,319 --> 00:21:38,160
taken that pain and become I could have

598
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,240
become a rocket scientist. I didn't have to

599
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,140
become the criminal.

600
00:21:42,414 --> 00:21:44,734
You know? So I always like to to

601
00:21:44,734 --> 00:21:45,234
own

602
00:21:45,694 --> 00:21:47,694
the choices we make, although a lot of

603
00:21:47,694 --> 00:21:49,375
times we don't have the tools, and we're

604
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:50,115
so young,

605
00:21:50,494 --> 00:21:51,875
but still own it.

606
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:53,634
Did you

607
00:21:54,174 --> 00:21:56,414
come up with Eric as sibling, or did

608
00:21:56,414 --> 00:21:58,115
you raise him as parent?

609
00:21:58,549 --> 00:22:00,970
He actually knew I was his mother, and

610
00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:02,169
my mother and father,

611
00:22:03,509 --> 00:22:04,009
supplied

612
00:22:04,549 --> 00:22:05,289
the money.

613
00:22:05,669 --> 00:22:06,329
I chose

614
00:22:07,269 --> 00:22:09,609
Milton, the 13 year old preacher's son,

615
00:22:10,549 --> 00:22:12,869
to say that was his father. And as

616
00:22:12,869 --> 00:22:15,335
far as the money and the bills and

617
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,875
that kind of thing was handled,

618
00:22:17,815 --> 00:22:18,315
and

619
00:22:18,774 --> 00:22:20,234
I I couldn't be a mother.

620
00:22:20,694 --> 00:22:22,154
You know, that it was impossible.

621
00:22:22,855 --> 00:22:24,774
But I was told, you know, you made

622
00:22:24,774 --> 00:22:26,490
your red heart. You gotta lay in it.

623
00:22:26,730 --> 00:22:28,349
And a lot of responsibility

624
00:22:28,650 --> 00:22:30,349
was heaped on me that I didn't

625
00:22:30,890 --> 00:22:33,929
understand. And, of course, everybody was literally in

626
00:22:33,929 --> 00:22:34,429
shock.

627
00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:35,869
It was just

628
00:22:36,650 --> 00:22:39,045
unheard of. Well, and the fact that

629
00:22:39,445 --> 00:22:41,684
somehow it was on you when you were

630
00:22:41,684 --> 00:22:44,644
the victim is Yeah. But that's I mean,

631
00:22:44,644 --> 00:22:47,205
it still happens today. That's the rhetoric around

632
00:22:47,205 --> 00:22:47,705
it.

633
00:22:48,404 --> 00:22:50,825
Yeah. Well, I was told I was fast.

634
00:22:51,759 --> 00:22:53,359
You know, in in the hood, you you

635
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,359
know, we hear that a lot. Girl, you

636
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,839
fast. Ain't she fast? And then after having

637
00:22:57,839 --> 00:22:58,819
the baby, well,

638
00:23:00,559 --> 00:23:01,059
sheesh.

639
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:02,740
I was I was a sideshow.

640
00:23:03,279 --> 00:23:05,140
You know? That's all I could say.

641
00:23:05,519 --> 00:23:06,019
Mhmm.

642
00:23:06,384 --> 00:23:07,365
Do you have siblings?

643
00:23:08,065 --> 00:23:09,684
I have 1, 8 years older.

644
00:23:09,984 --> 00:23:12,384
Oh, that's right. You said yeah. That's right.

645
00:23:12,464 --> 00:23:12,964
Close.

646
00:23:13,265 --> 00:23:16,304
Yeah. Ever close. Different fathers. Yeah. Half half

647
00:23:16,304 --> 00:23:18,944
sibling. Yeah. And in the black community, we

648
00:23:18,944 --> 00:23:21,025
rarely where I come from, we don't say

649
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:23,140
half. If if you came out of mama,

650
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,359
we pretty much leave the half aside. You

651
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,359
know, just the energy with mom and my

652
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,279
sister, you know, they were kinda I got

653
00:23:29,519 --> 00:23:30,880
as I got older, I had to get

654
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,119
some understanding to heal. And they were a

655
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,894
team, and I was the outsider.

656
00:23:35,595 --> 00:23:38,154
So definitely not close at all, still to

657
00:23:38,154 --> 00:23:38,654
today.

658
00:23:39,195 --> 00:23:41,134
How did still today even.

659
00:23:41,515 --> 00:23:43,134
Still to today. Interesting.

660
00:23:43,994 --> 00:23:45,455
So you're a kid,

661
00:23:46,075 --> 00:23:47,055
having a kid,

662
00:23:47,355 --> 00:23:48,095
and feeling

663
00:23:49,519 --> 00:23:50,019
rightfully

664
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:50,980
ostracized

665
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,599
that that those feelings are absolutely valid, of

666
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:54,500
course, that

667
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:56,339
how does one

668
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,679
in absence of a parent, one must parent

669
00:23:59,679 --> 00:24:02,019
oneself whether they do it well or not.

670
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:03,539
So how was

671
00:24:04,085 --> 00:24:06,505
your parenting of yourself through that time?

672
00:24:06,805 --> 00:24:08,805
Or were you just completely out of body

673
00:24:08,805 --> 00:24:10,424
until you were an adult?

674
00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:13,224
Good question.

675
00:24:13,765 --> 00:24:16,184
Was I out of body? I I

676
00:24:17,049 --> 00:24:17,789
I really

677
00:24:18,329 --> 00:24:18,829
understand

678
00:24:19,769 --> 00:24:20,269
disassociating

679
00:24:20,809 --> 00:24:21,549
from life

680
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:23,390
and being on autopilot.

681
00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:27,210
That is I don't wanna jump too soon

682
00:24:27,210 --> 00:24:28,250
in the story, but,

683
00:24:28,890 --> 00:24:30,570
and again, you guys gotta buy the book,

684
00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:32,494
so I can't tell it all here. I

685
00:24:32,494 --> 00:24:34,414
do hope you join me when the book

686
00:24:34,414 --> 00:24:37,154
comes out. It's so much just like a

687
00:24:38,654 --> 00:24:40,595
blur. Yeah. I just again,

688
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:43,375
once I was if you tell a child

689
00:24:43,375 --> 00:24:44,994
they're bad, that's what they become.

690
00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:47,740
Mhmm. And because no one was around that

691
00:24:47,740 --> 00:24:49,119
knew how to handle this,

692
00:24:50,220 --> 00:24:51,759
they told me I was bad.

693
00:24:52,299 --> 00:24:54,320
And so I internalized that.

694
00:24:55,259 --> 00:24:55,759
And,

695
00:24:57,100 --> 00:24:59,759
that's where the medication of drugs came in.

696
00:25:00,355 --> 00:25:02,674
You know, I skipped over marijuana, cigarettes, liquor,

697
00:25:02,674 --> 00:25:03,894
and started shooting heroin.

698
00:25:04,914 --> 00:25:06,294
Mhmm. Go big or go home.

699
00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:10,755
Oh, you you are so right. The monster

700
00:25:10,755 --> 00:25:12,835
was so big, you know, and he would

701
00:25:12,835 --> 00:25:13,734
not go home.

702
00:25:14,194 --> 00:25:15,474
So, yeah, I,

703
00:25:16,570 --> 00:25:17,070
actually,

704
00:25:17,609 --> 00:25:20,430
I think back now and just say

705
00:25:22,009 --> 00:25:23,309
thank God for deliverance.

706
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,410
In this very moment, when I think I

707
00:25:26,410 --> 00:25:27,470
let I literally

708
00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:30,330
drew up drugs and stuck a syringe in

709
00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:32,174
my veins. I tell everybody

710
00:25:32,875 --> 00:25:35,055
that's a level of self hatred

711
00:25:36,154 --> 00:25:38,015
that the average cannot understand.

712
00:25:40,474 --> 00:25:40,974
Definitely.

713
00:25:41,595 --> 00:25:42,734
Was there anyone

714
00:25:43,195 --> 00:25:44,734
in your life that

715
00:25:45,515 --> 00:25:46,815
noticed your pain?

716
00:25:47,609 --> 00:25:48,109
Mhmm.

717
00:25:51,769 --> 00:25:52,670
I had a grandmabula,

718
00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:56,269
and she was my mother's great grandmother.

719
00:25:58,329 --> 00:26:00,569
And by the time I had Eric, she

720
00:26:00,569 --> 00:26:01,309
was older,

721
00:26:01,705 --> 00:26:03,164
but she couldn't read.

722
00:26:03,945 --> 00:26:05,244
And when I was little,

723
00:26:06,184 --> 00:26:07,404
really little, like

724
00:26:08,105 --> 00:26:08,605
6,

725
00:26:09,384 --> 00:26:09,884
7,

726
00:26:10,585 --> 00:26:13,384
I remember threading the needle for Grandma Beulah

727
00:26:13,384 --> 00:26:15,779
and picking the fabrics, and I designed this.

728
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,480
I believe that's where it comes from, taking

729
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,019
the going in the trunk

730
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,000
and getting the fabric, and she would give

731
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,019
me the scissors to cut the patches in,

732
00:26:24,799 --> 00:26:26,019
and we quilt together.

733
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,720
And my Grandma Beulah, who couldn't read, would

734
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,339
say, my nickname is Tootie.'

735
00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:32,605
And she would say, Tootie,

736
00:26:33,704 --> 00:26:34,764
you the strongest

737
00:26:35,944 --> 00:26:36,845
and the nicest

738
00:26:38,345 --> 00:26:39,164
and the smartest

739
00:26:40,184 --> 00:26:42,024
and the prettiest little girl in the whole

740
00:26:42,024 --> 00:26:44,284
wide world. Well, Tootie, you can do anything.

741
00:26:45,299 --> 00:26:47,700
And then she was saying, grandma leave pretty

742
00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:48,440
for last,

743
00:26:49,139 --> 00:26:51,159
because pretty is as pretty does.

744
00:26:52,659 --> 00:26:54,019
And then she would say, show me your

745
00:26:54,019 --> 00:26:54,519
muscles.

746
00:26:54,899 --> 00:26:57,139
And I remember putting you know, I would

747
00:26:57,139 --> 00:26:58,819
be threading her needle, and she clap for

748
00:26:58,819 --> 00:27:00,964
me. And I'd lay the needle down and

749
00:27:00,964 --> 00:27:01,865
show my muscles,

750
00:27:02,244 --> 00:27:03,704
you know, and she just clap.

751
00:27:04,565 --> 00:27:05,924
And so when I got off in a

752
00:27:05,924 --> 00:27:07,224
hardcore drug use,

753
00:27:07,924 --> 00:27:09,365
I used to look in the mirror, and

754
00:27:09,365 --> 00:27:10,904
I would always see her grandma,

755
00:27:11,284 --> 00:27:12,345
Hula's voice.

756
00:27:13,809 --> 00:27:14,470
Why Tootie?

757
00:27:15,809 --> 00:27:16,710
You're the strongest

758
00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:19,730
and the nicest. And I would look at

759
00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:21,570
everybody around me and say, why am I

760
00:27:21,570 --> 00:27:22,390
doing this?

761
00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:24,930
Why am I shooting this? I gotta speak

762
00:27:24,930 --> 00:27:25,430
up.

763
00:27:26,865 --> 00:27:29,125
I really believe, girl, my Beulah's voice,

764
00:27:30,065 --> 00:27:31,525
those seeds that got planted.

765
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:34,244
I wanna say to every parent,

766
00:27:35,664 --> 00:27:36,164
clap

767
00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:38,805
every chance you get for little ones.

768
00:27:40,289 --> 00:27:43,730
Instill in them, take this, those words. Every

769
00:27:43,730 --> 00:27:45,909
time you even if you're not a parent,

770
00:27:46,210 --> 00:27:48,529
wherever you see a little kid in a

771
00:27:48,529 --> 00:27:49,029
store,

772
00:27:49,329 --> 00:27:49,829
wherever,

773
00:27:50,130 --> 00:27:51,269
like, you're the smartest

774
00:27:52,210 --> 00:27:54,130
and the nicest and and give them a

775
00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:54,869
hand clap

776
00:27:56,105 --> 00:27:56,605
and

777
00:27:57,945 --> 00:28:00,845
plant those seeds as early as possible.

778
00:28:01,545 --> 00:28:02,105
Make that,

779
00:28:02,744 --> 00:28:04,924
serious practice in every young

780
00:28:05,705 --> 00:28:07,725
little kid's life you meet, because

781
00:28:08,609 --> 00:28:09,670
it followed me.

782
00:28:10,529 --> 00:28:14,069
And I kept on hearing grandma Beulah's voice,

783
00:28:14,130 --> 00:28:16,630
and people say, how did you pull yourself

784
00:28:16,769 --> 00:28:18,450
up out the dirt like you

785
00:28:19,490 --> 00:28:20,630
there is a creator.

786
00:28:21,924 --> 00:28:24,005
I call that creator god that gives us

787
00:28:24,005 --> 00:28:24,505
grace.

788
00:28:25,365 --> 00:28:27,144
And god's saying, grandma, you

789
00:28:27,684 --> 00:28:29,445
I remember my mom coming in, you know,

790
00:28:29,445 --> 00:28:31,365
because she worked 2 jobs. Why are you

791
00:28:31,365 --> 00:28:33,765
spoiling her? Why are you spoiling? You're not

792
00:28:33,765 --> 00:28:34,965
the nicest. You're not the

793
00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:37,890
and she would be, like, in my face,

794
00:28:37,890 --> 00:28:38,710
you know, because

795
00:28:39,170 --> 00:28:42,130
and I remember, oh, grandma Beulah being over

796
00:28:42,130 --> 00:28:42,789
her shoulder.

797
00:28:43,329 --> 00:28:45,170
And I would look at grand grandma Beulah

798
00:28:45,170 --> 00:28:45,990
would be like,

799
00:28:46,289 --> 00:28:47,990
don't you listen? Yeah.

800
00:28:48,714 --> 00:28:50,954
And my mom walk away, grandma Beulah would

801
00:28:50,954 --> 00:28:52,474
pick me up. And don't you pay no

802
00:28:52,474 --> 00:28:53,855
attention to seeing you.

803
00:28:54,474 --> 00:28:56,815
She don't know what she talk why, Tootie,

804
00:28:57,514 --> 00:28:58,494
you're the nicest.

805
00:28:59,674 --> 00:29:02,734
And that's if there's anything I attribute

806
00:29:03,599 --> 00:29:07,359
to assisting me while drowning inside of self

807
00:29:07,359 --> 00:29:07,859
hatred,

808
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,960
grab my pillow. So how did you start

809
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,519
to pull yourself out? Was there a rock

810
00:29:13,519 --> 00:29:15,440
bottom? Does was there a

811
00:29:17,204 --> 00:29:19,684
did someone come along? Was it all you?

812
00:29:19,684 --> 00:29:21,944
Well, luckily, I got rescued, not arrested,

813
00:29:22,484 --> 00:29:23,865
and ended up in prison.

814
00:29:25,444 --> 00:29:25,845
And,

815
00:29:26,404 --> 00:29:28,644
my father had a brick company, 3rd grade

816
00:29:28,644 --> 00:29:30,884
education from Mississippi, but he built a brick

817
00:29:30,884 --> 00:29:33,579
business, worked at Republic Steel. We had a

818
00:29:33,579 --> 00:29:34,480
family attorney.

819
00:29:35,420 --> 00:29:36,960
And so when I caught a case,

820
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:40,000
my website is,

821
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,079
helping people grow.org,

822
00:29:43,980 --> 00:29:46,319
and or look up Cheryl rich.com.

823
00:29:47,785 --> 00:29:48,184
And,

824
00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:50,605
when I caught

825
00:29:50,904 --> 00:29:51,404
drugs,

826
00:29:52,984 --> 00:29:55,085
sales, car theft, check fraud,

827
00:29:55,545 --> 00:29:58,205
you know, luckily, never anything with any,

828
00:29:59,305 --> 00:29:59,805
youngsters

829
00:30:00,710 --> 00:30:03,849
or, you know, any death. Thank you, god.

830
00:30:04,869 --> 00:30:07,029
My father would give our family attorney the

831
00:30:07,029 --> 00:30:09,190
money bag, and I actually went in the

832
00:30:09,190 --> 00:30:10,170
judge's chambers

833
00:30:10,950 --> 00:30:12,250
with the family attorney

834
00:30:13,005 --> 00:30:14,765
and watch the judge get his cut out,

835
00:30:14,765 --> 00:30:17,424
the money bag, the prosecutor, and our attorney.

836
00:30:18,205 --> 00:30:19,884
So I got a chance to see the

837
00:30:19,884 --> 00:30:20,384
just

838
00:30:22,525 --> 00:30:24,785
non justice system early on,

839
00:30:25,930 --> 00:30:27,930
and a young mind, and I will come

840
00:30:27,930 --> 00:30:29,289
out and stand in front of the judge,

841
00:30:29,289 --> 00:30:30,029
get probation.

842
00:30:30,570 --> 00:30:32,490
And that happened not once, not twice, not

843
00:30:32,490 --> 00:30:34,250
3 times, not 4 times, not 5 times,

844
00:30:34,250 --> 00:30:35,630
but 6. Woah.

845
00:30:36,009 --> 00:30:36,910
Seven times.

846
00:30:37,945 --> 00:30:40,345
Mhmm. Before my family found out, I had,

847
00:30:40,744 --> 00:30:43,805
marks on my arms, tracks from shooting heroin.

848
00:30:44,105 --> 00:30:46,505
And my daddy stopped giving mister Lee the

849
00:30:46,505 --> 00:30:47,244
money back,

850
00:30:47,625 --> 00:30:48,684
and I went away.

851
00:30:49,224 --> 00:30:50,205
And that's where

852
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,880
God intervened in my life. I tell everybody

853
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,059
I did not get arrested. I got rescued.

854
00:30:55,759 --> 00:30:57,380
And how long was your sentence?

855
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,539
4 years, 5 months.

856
00:31:00,799 --> 00:31:02,820
It's almost they call it a nickel.

857
00:31:03,424 --> 00:31:04,565
It's almost 5.

858
00:31:04,944 --> 00:31:06,384
But I don't take away a day or

859
00:31:06,384 --> 00:31:08,565
don't add 4 years, 5 months,

860
00:31:08,944 --> 00:31:10,644
and I got it down to the hours

861
00:31:10,704 --> 00:31:11,444
and the minutes.

862
00:31:12,065 --> 00:31:12,724
I bet.

863
00:31:13,105 --> 00:31:13,605
But

864
00:31:14,065 --> 00:31:16,244
while I was there, the power of music

865
00:31:17,700 --> 00:31:19,079
and tell live vision,

866
00:31:19,859 --> 00:31:21,460
so about two and a half years in,

867
00:31:21,460 --> 00:31:24,099
Michael Jackson's man in the mirror. How many

868
00:31:24,099 --> 00:31:24,599
people

869
00:31:25,299 --> 00:31:28,259
claim that song as the healing and within

870
00:31:28,259 --> 00:31:29,000
their lives?

871
00:31:29,299 --> 00:31:30,440
The moment that

872
00:31:31,515 --> 00:31:33,195
one turned around and really looked in the

873
00:31:33,195 --> 00:31:34,174
mirror and said,

874
00:31:35,355 --> 00:31:36,654
I'm a start with me.

875
00:31:37,434 --> 00:31:40,414
And, first time he sang that on television,

876
00:31:42,394 --> 00:31:44,315
that I I jumped off of off the

877
00:31:44,315 --> 00:31:45,755
bunk, and I went to the mirror. And

878
00:31:45,755 --> 00:31:47,429
I said, I I don't know how I'm

879
00:31:47,429 --> 00:31:49,690
gonna find a way to love myself,

880
00:31:50,549 --> 00:31:53,130
but I'm not gonna hate myself anymore. And

881
00:31:53,349 --> 00:31:55,269
if mom loved my sister more than me

882
00:31:55,269 --> 00:31:57,029
and they were my torture team, why not

883
00:31:57,029 --> 00:31:58,409
shoot the drugs in them?

884
00:31:59,029 --> 00:32:01,269
I'm like, why that hurt me? I'm like,

885
00:32:01,269 --> 00:32:02,089
that's it.

886
00:32:02,764 --> 00:32:03,884
When I get out of here, if they

887
00:32:03,884 --> 00:32:05,325
bother me, I'm a shoot the drugs in

888
00:32:05,325 --> 00:32:05,825
them.

889
00:32:07,724 --> 00:32:09,825
So right after Michael Jackson,

890
00:32:10,845 --> 00:32:12,224
Don King came on.

891
00:32:12,605 --> 00:32:13,664
He's from Cleveland.

892
00:32:14,700 --> 00:32:15,200
Okay?

893
00:32:16,140 --> 00:32:16,640
Television,

894
00:32:17,099 --> 00:32:17,599
again.

895
00:32:18,299 --> 00:32:20,240
But I had a chance to see someone.

896
00:32:20,859 --> 00:32:22,380
People say, well, that wasn't the best role

897
00:32:22,380 --> 00:32:24,059
model, but he was a role model. He's

898
00:32:24,059 --> 00:32:25,899
from ghetto streets of Cleveland. He had been

899
00:32:25,899 --> 00:32:26,559
to prison,

900
00:32:27,085 --> 00:32:29,164
and he was doing something with his life.

901
00:32:29,164 --> 00:32:31,485
And in that moment, I said, I'm gonna

902
00:32:31,485 --> 00:32:33,404
do something with my life when I get

903
00:32:33,404 --> 00:32:35,725
out of here. And I said, boxing is

904
00:32:35,725 --> 00:32:38,705
grueling. Oh, I'll go find the Beverly Hillbillies.

905
00:32:40,580 --> 00:32:41,880
The power of television.

906
00:32:42,420 --> 00:32:43,619
When I was little, I used to look

907
00:32:43,619 --> 00:32:44,900
at their floors, look at our floors. I

908
00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:46,519
was like, I gotta blow this joint.

909
00:32:47,059 --> 00:32:49,400
Granny and Jethro, they had a pool and

910
00:32:49,460 --> 00:32:51,779
a poodle and so and then this last

911
00:32:51,779 --> 00:32:53,414
name, Sheryl Rich, didn't help.

912
00:32:53,894 --> 00:32:56,535
Rich in the hood? Like, Sheryl Rich and

913
00:32:56,535 --> 00:32:58,875
no money? I was like, I'm out.

914
00:32:59,174 --> 00:33:01,815
And then something said, okay. Go go chase

915
00:33:01,815 --> 00:33:03,115
the ghost, the dream.

916
00:33:04,295 --> 00:33:05,815
Because I thought there was something you could

917
00:33:05,815 --> 00:33:06,875
find called success

918
00:33:07,980 --> 00:33:09,200
outside of oneself.

919
00:33:10,140 --> 00:33:12,140
And the creator held that back until I

920
00:33:12,140 --> 00:33:14,619
got that message. Was there a sobriety plan

921
00:33:14,619 --> 00:33:15,119
in

922
00:33:15,500 --> 00:33:16,000
prison?

923
00:33:16,299 --> 00:33:17,440
Would did you have

924
00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:21,039
people that supported you there? Because, I mean,

925
00:33:21,304 --> 00:33:22,044
you know, you're filled

926
00:33:22,505 --> 00:33:24,765
it's filled with people that have also

927
00:33:25,224 --> 00:33:27,464
carry a lot of pain and are trying

928
00:33:27,464 --> 00:33:29,085
to find their way or not.

929
00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:31,464
Prison is another world. You know? The

930
00:33:32,184 --> 00:33:34,664
a lot of guards, you know, make their

931
00:33:34,664 --> 00:33:37,519
living by bringing things in and out. You

932
00:33:37,519 --> 00:33:38,179
know? And

933
00:33:38,799 --> 00:33:40,740
in that moment, I had the opportunity,

934
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,460
and that's where

935
00:33:43,759 --> 00:33:44,259
grace

936
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:46,500
intervened, and I made a choice.

937
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,500
Healing is a choice.

938
00:33:50,585 --> 00:33:53,705
And nobody can tell me because I've been

939
00:33:53,705 --> 00:33:54,525
through it.

940
00:33:55,945 --> 00:33:58,505
I am here to say that regardless of

941
00:33:58,505 --> 00:33:59,005
what

942
00:33:59,545 --> 00:34:00,924
a person has endured,

943
00:34:02,345 --> 00:34:03,805
that if you really

944
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,860
decide I'm tired of hurting,

945
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:08,840
tell me, well, how quick do you make

946
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:10,599
up your mind? Faster than you could blink

947
00:34:10,599 --> 00:34:11,340
your eyes.

948
00:34:12,519 --> 00:34:14,360
Your mind has to tell your eyes to

949
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:14,860
blink.

950
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,680
And people are in the Betty Ford Center

951
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:19,579
right now paying,

952
00:34:20,045 --> 00:34:22,045
I think last time I checked, almost a

953
00:34:22,045 --> 00:34:24,625
100,000 a month or something. Woah. Yeah.

954
00:34:26,844 --> 00:34:29,164
Yeah. Maybe it's I don't know the price.

955
00:34:29,164 --> 00:34:30,684
And when last time I checked, it was

956
00:34:30,684 --> 00:34:31,505
over 50.

957
00:34:31,965 --> 00:34:34,224
But for what has to happen,

958
00:34:35,750 --> 00:34:37,349
they're paying for what they must do, and

959
00:34:37,349 --> 00:34:38,949
that's blink their eyes and say, I'm done.

960
00:34:38,949 --> 00:34:39,449
Hurdle.

961
00:34:41,349 --> 00:34:43,429
And so I am a witness that by

962
00:34:43,429 --> 00:34:44,250
the grace

963
00:34:44,789 --> 00:34:46,010
yes, you must

964
00:34:46,710 --> 00:34:48,089
claim this creator

965
00:34:48,389 --> 00:34:49,769
who created you.

966
00:34:50,704 --> 00:34:52,465
And I tell everyone, if you don't believe

967
00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:54,224
in it, go create yourself. Come back. Tell

968
00:34:54,224 --> 00:34:55,605
me how that went for you.

969
00:34:57,344 --> 00:34:58,405
There is something.

970
00:34:59,105 --> 00:35:00,565
Show me who lives forever.

971
00:35:01,585 --> 00:35:02,085
So

972
00:35:02,730 --> 00:35:06,269
everyone who is chosen again and highly favored

973
00:35:06,809 --> 00:35:08,349
to catch this podcast,

974
00:35:09,289 --> 00:35:10,909
I don't care what you're going through.

975
00:35:12,570 --> 00:35:14,409
We can't be we become addicted to the

976
00:35:14,409 --> 00:35:16,730
pain. We become addicted to the chaos and

977
00:35:16,730 --> 00:35:19,375
the confusion. And just like we because it's

978
00:35:19,375 --> 00:35:20,275
not the substance.

979
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:22,594
It's never the substance.

980
00:35:24,574 --> 00:35:26,894
So we can make that choice, and that's

981
00:35:26,894 --> 00:35:28,255
when I made the choice that I didn't

982
00:35:28,255 --> 00:35:29,775
want any drugs that I could get into

983
00:35:29,775 --> 00:35:30,275
prison.

984
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:31,619
I was like, I'm

985
00:35:32,159 --> 00:35:34,099
done. So just really understanding

986
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:34,900
that,

987
00:35:35,519 --> 00:35:37,539
chaos and confusion is an addiction,

988
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:38,980
and just as

989
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:40,420
as

990
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,675
we as easy as it is to accept

991
00:35:44,675 --> 00:35:46,775
that we're addicted to the pain,

992
00:35:47,315 --> 00:35:50,195
it is just as easy to become addicted

993
00:35:50,195 --> 00:35:50,695
to

994
00:35:51,074 --> 00:35:51,574
joy.

995
00:35:52,355 --> 00:35:53,815
That's where I'm at now.

996
00:35:55,394 --> 00:35:57,780
Happy meal. You eat a meal, you're it's

997
00:35:57,780 --> 00:35:59,960
delicious. An hour later, you forgot. I'm talking

998
00:36:00,019 --> 00:36:00,519
internal

999
00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:01,400
joy.

1000
00:36:02,820 --> 00:36:05,059
And I never thought, and I'll tear up

1001
00:36:05,059 --> 00:36:07,480
and start crying, that I would experience

1002
00:36:09,155 --> 00:36:10,454
the feeling of having

1003
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:12,054
joy inside,

1004
00:36:12,594 --> 00:36:13,494
that nothing

1005
00:36:14,114 --> 00:36:15,875
and when I say nothing can tamper with

1006
00:36:15,875 --> 00:36:18,755
that, I just got tested. My mother just

1007
00:36:18,755 --> 00:36:20,835
had a stroke, and she's 89 years old,

1008
00:36:20,835 --> 00:36:23,679
and I love my mom. You know, we

1009
00:36:23,679 --> 00:36:25,059
we still had our challenges,

1010
00:36:25,599 --> 00:36:27,679
but I love my mom, and she just

1011
00:36:27,679 --> 00:36:28,820
had a stroke. And

1012
00:36:29,119 --> 00:36:31,039
any other time, I would be allowing the

1013
00:36:31,039 --> 00:36:33,460
demonic forces that's what I call them.

1014
00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:36,494
Baby, I hate to bring in. I'm not,

1015
00:36:36,494 --> 00:36:38,414
you know, the old girl, the old black

1016
00:36:38,414 --> 00:36:40,275
woman. It's the holy holy roller,

1017
00:36:40,654 --> 00:36:42,255
but they it come a time where you

1018
00:36:42,255 --> 00:36:44,014
just gotta acknowledge them for what they are,

1019
00:36:44,014 --> 00:36:44,914
and that is,

1020
00:36:46,654 --> 00:36:49,135
the demonic forces. It is good and evil

1021
00:36:49,135 --> 00:36:50,355
definitely exist.

1022
00:36:50,930 --> 00:36:51,989
And at this point,

1023
00:36:52,690 --> 00:36:54,769
I could literally be a basket case about

1024
00:36:54,769 --> 00:36:57,110
the whole situation that happened, like, September 10th.

1025
00:36:57,329 --> 00:36:59,670
So you're talking very not long ago.

1026
00:37:00,450 --> 00:37:01,750
And right off the top,

1027
00:37:02,610 --> 00:37:04,945
the holy spirit I normally say the spirit

1028
00:37:04,945 --> 00:37:06,465
voice because I would like to turn nobody

1029
00:37:06,465 --> 00:37:08,945
off with the religious stuff. It's not religion.

1030
00:37:08,945 --> 00:37:09,684
It's spiritual.

1031
00:37:10,144 --> 00:37:13,344
That's what I am. But, someone said, girl,

1032
00:37:13,344 --> 00:37:14,244
you gotta clarify

1033
00:37:14,545 --> 00:37:15,844
which spirit voice?

1034
00:37:16,559 --> 00:37:19,039
So the holy spirit voice recently said to

1035
00:37:19,039 --> 00:37:20,180
me when it happened,

1036
00:37:20,559 --> 00:37:22,019
your mother is my child.

1037
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:24,660
I loaned her to you.

1038
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,340
So now are you gonna, like,

1039
00:37:29,855 --> 00:37:31,074
second guess me?

1040
00:37:31,855 --> 00:37:33,554
And I had to go back and forth

1041
00:37:34,574 --> 00:37:36,974
because the voices in my head was telling

1042
00:37:36,974 --> 00:37:38,755
me, hey. You're supposed to be sad, devastated,

1043
00:37:39,454 --> 00:37:41,394
and that's fine. Have a conversation.

1044
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,000
The more you practice, the better you get

1045
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:45,579
at this.

1046
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,260
So my faith just got tested, and

1047
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,180
feels good to know you're gonna get tested

1048
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,914
with all that come out your mouth. Well,

1049
00:37:55,914 --> 00:37:58,414
you bring up such a good point. Our

1050
00:37:58,474 --> 00:37:58,974
emotions

1051
00:37:59,994 --> 00:38:02,714
when our emotions rule us instead of we

1052
00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:04,734
being having dominion over our

1053
00:38:05,114 --> 00:38:07,295
emotions, that's where we get into trouble.

1054
00:38:07,869 --> 00:38:10,670
Yes. Especially with the negative ones. But even

1055
00:38:10,670 --> 00:38:13,170
I think people can be in ecstasy

1056
00:38:13,710 --> 00:38:15,010
and be manic.

1057
00:38:15,309 --> 00:38:17,809
So even the joy side can get problematic

1058
00:38:18,269 --> 00:38:20,349
if it's you know, there's a balance to

1059
00:38:20,349 --> 00:38:23,409
everything. Everything in nature has a balance. Yeah.

1060
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,474
And that's what we are work in progress.

1061
00:38:25,474 --> 00:38:26,215
You're right.

1062
00:38:26,755 --> 00:38:27,735
5 happy medium.

1063
00:38:28,114 --> 00:38:28,614
Yeah.

1064
00:38:29,555 --> 00:38:31,394
Did your family visit you while you were

1065
00:38:31,394 --> 00:38:31,894
incarcerated?

1066
00:38:32,595 --> 00:38:35,255
My mom. Mhmm. Yes. She did. Eric?

1067
00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:37,800
Yeah. Eric came.

1068
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:40,839
Yeah. But mom had to bring him.

1069
00:38:41,300 --> 00:38:42,039
So yeah.

1070
00:38:42,659 --> 00:38:44,739
What what happened next then? You you get

1071
00:38:44,739 --> 00:38:46,819
out? Yeah. Eric gets killed in a car

1072
00:38:46,819 --> 00:38:48,839
accident. Oh my god.

1073
00:38:49,219 --> 00:38:50,280
My only kid.

1074
00:38:50,819 --> 00:38:53,224
Yes. I'm so sorry. Okay?

1075
00:38:53,605 --> 00:38:54,424
What happened

1076
00:38:54,724 --> 00:38:56,585
around that drunk driver?

1077
00:38:56,885 --> 00:38:57,784
Well, well,

1078
00:38:58,404 --> 00:39:00,664
he was actually high himself.

1079
00:39:01,284 --> 00:39:03,625
He had a mother that got high. Yeah.

1080
00:39:03,789 --> 00:39:06,369
That pain travels if we don't heal. Right?

1081
00:39:06,509 --> 00:39:08,429
And 6 months, 17 days later, he was

1082
00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:10,190
killed in a car accident, you know? He's

1083
00:39:10,190 --> 00:39:12,449
creating he's the reason the car accident happened,

1084
00:39:12,909 --> 00:39:13,630
and and God,

1085
00:39:14,029 --> 00:39:15,969
allowed him to get his wings.

1086
00:39:17,195 --> 00:39:17,695
And

1087
00:39:18,394 --> 00:39:20,635
all of this to say and that's what

1088
00:39:20,635 --> 00:39:22,474
I packed up 5 boxes of Computer and

1089
00:39:22,474 --> 00:39:24,635
a Dream and took off to find the

1090
00:39:24,635 --> 00:39:27,375
Beverly Hillbillies, came to the state called Hollywood.

1091
00:39:28,235 --> 00:39:29,534
I want to say that,

1092
00:39:30,980 --> 00:39:32,039
life's a journey.

1093
00:39:32,739 --> 00:39:34,199
And when Eric got killed,

1094
00:39:34,659 --> 00:39:36,339
I was I mean, when Eric died, I

1095
00:39:36,339 --> 00:39:37,079
was devastated,

1096
00:39:37,619 --> 00:39:40,280
and I never ever thought I would recover.

1097
00:39:41,619 --> 00:39:42,599
And that was

1098
00:39:42,980 --> 00:39:44,679
January 28, 1989.

1099
00:39:45,614 --> 00:39:46,994
I went away to prison

1100
00:39:47,695 --> 00:39:48,434
March 10,

1101
00:39:48,894 --> 00:39:49,394
1985.

1102
00:39:50,735 --> 00:39:53,074
I came home July 11, 1989,

1103
00:39:55,375 --> 00:39:55,875
and

1104
00:39:56,894 --> 00:39:57,394
January

1105
00:39:58,289 --> 00:40:01,010
28th 1990 is when Eric left. 6 months,

1106
00:40:01,010 --> 00:40:01,910
17 days

1107
00:40:02,289 --> 00:40:04,289
later. But I had a chance to, like,

1108
00:40:04,289 --> 00:40:05,110
say, hey. I

1109
00:40:06,369 --> 00:40:08,050
despised you when I had you. Now I

1110
00:40:08,050 --> 00:40:10,369
love you. We had 6 months, 17 days

1111
00:40:10,369 --> 00:40:11,269
together, and

1112
00:40:11,985 --> 00:40:14,144
learned so much in such a small amount

1113
00:40:14,144 --> 00:40:14,805
of time,

1114
00:40:15,585 --> 00:40:17,285
and most of all, to understand

1115
00:40:17,585 --> 00:40:18,965
it's all just a journey.

1116
00:40:20,545 --> 00:40:22,164
When we really grasp

1117
00:40:23,105 --> 00:40:25,105
that what we perceive as the good, the

1118
00:40:25,105 --> 00:40:26,085
bad, and the ugly,

1119
00:40:26,630 --> 00:40:28,329
is all just a part of the journey,

1120
00:40:29,590 --> 00:40:31,849
and that's what I am a witness

1121
00:40:32,710 --> 00:40:33,210
to.

1122
00:40:33,750 --> 00:40:34,489
You know,

1123
00:40:35,429 --> 00:40:37,590
Eric, once he left, I packed up 5

1124
00:40:37,590 --> 00:40:39,349
boxes of Computer and a Dream. I hit

1125
00:40:39,349 --> 00:40:39,849
Hollywood,

1126
00:40:40,954 --> 00:40:43,594
was chasing the ghosts called The Illusion Called

1127
00:40:43,594 --> 00:40:45,934
Success. God held it back many years.

1128
00:40:46,554 --> 00:40:48,335
1st executive producer,

1129
00:40:49,434 --> 00:40:49,934
credit.

1130
00:40:51,114 --> 00:40:53,835
Thank you, Doug DeLuca, co executive producer of

1131
00:40:53,835 --> 00:40:55,054
Jimmy Kimmel Live.

1132
00:40:55,369 --> 00:40:58,030
Gave me my first break in this town

1133
00:40:58,170 --> 00:41:00,809
called Hollywood, cracked that door for me. The

1134
00:41:00,809 --> 00:41:02,329
name of the show is called The House.

1135
00:41:02,329 --> 00:41:03,630
It was on Fox Soul.

1136
00:41:04,730 --> 00:41:06,829
Did 2 seasons, 3rd season.

1137
00:41:07,929 --> 00:41:09,849
I realized, be careful what you ask for.

1138
00:41:09,849 --> 00:41:10,910
You might get it.

1139
00:41:13,744 --> 00:41:16,304
After all that, from ex con to executive

1140
00:41:16,304 --> 00:41:16,804
producer

1141
00:41:17,505 --> 00:41:18,244
and then

1142
00:41:18,704 --> 00:41:19,364
the lesson,

1143
00:41:20,224 --> 00:41:21,605
you sure you want this?'

1144
00:41:23,264 --> 00:41:24,085
a lot of

1145
00:41:24,625 --> 00:41:26,324
toxicity started happening,

1146
00:41:27,329 --> 00:41:29,030
within my Black people.

1147
00:41:30,530 --> 00:41:31,190
You know,

1148
00:41:31,809 --> 00:41:33,989
the enslavement trade, it taught us

1149
00:41:35,329 --> 00:41:37,170
to teach them to hate themselves. We won't

1150
00:41:37,170 --> 00:41:39,349
have to worry about it. It's real serious.

1151
00:41:40,494 --> 00:41:43,534
And many communities have their challenges. Definitely in

1152
00:41:43,534 --> 00:41:45,394
the Black community, we have ours.

1153
00:41:46,014 --> 00:41:48,335
So 3rd season, I said, no, nothing is

1154
00:41:48,335 --> 00:41:49,394
worth my peace

1155
00:41:50,335 --> 00:41:51,074
of mind.'

1156
00:41:53,260 --> 00:41:55,340
And that was that was a moment that

1157
00:41:55,340 --> 00:41:56,400
I was like, you sure?

1158
00:41:57,420 --> 00:41:58,160
I'm sure.

1159
00:41:59,260 --> 00:42:00,079
So now

1160
00:42:00,380 --> 00:42:02,559
honorary doctorates, Word of God International

1161
00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:03,360
University,

1162
00:42:03,820 --> 00:42:05,360
Doctor. Joshua Smith

1163
00:42:05,715 --> 00:42:07,175
has his own Jewish diction.

1164
00:42:07,875 --> 00:42:09,795
Anybody that doesn't know what that means, do

1165
00:42:09,795 --> 00:42:10,614
you some research.

1166
00:42:11,394 --> 00:42:12,454
The name of the nonprofit

1167
00:42:12,835 --> 00:42:13,575
is called

1168
00:42:14,035 --> 00:42:15,255
Helping People

1169
00:42:15,555 --> 00:42:18,195
Grow. I came to LA to chase the

1170
00:42:18,195 --> 00:42:19,015
ghosts of

1171
00:42:19,569 --> 00:42:21,829
Hollywood, and I stopped off at Antioch University

1172
00:42:22,449 --> 00:42:24,069
here in Marina del Rey,

1173
00:42:24,369 --> 00:42:27,190
and got the earned Master's in Clinical Psychology.

1174
00:42:27,889 --> 00:42:29,269
Then I put it on the shelf

1175
00:42:30,049 --> 00:42:32,150
and started, chasing all Hollywood.

1176
00:42:33,224 --> 00:42:36,125
So now at this stage with an honorary

1177
00:42:36,184 --> 00:42:36,684
doctorates,

1178
00:42:37,385 --> 00:42:39,724
thanks to Word of God International University,

1179
00:42:40,265 --> 00:42:41,965
I was able to get the nonprofit,

1180
00:42:42,825 --> 00:42:44,505
and I'm in the streets. I've had a

1181
00:42:44,505 --> 00:42:46,985
25 for 25 years. It's been a street

1182
00:42:46,985 --> 00:42:47,485
ministry.

1183
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:50,619
I pay people for their words of wisdom

1184
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:52,860
that are sleeping on the ground.

1185
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,360
I don't look for the 1 in a

1186
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:56,860
SUV

1187
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,135
or RV or car tent.

1188
00:43:00,855 --> 00:43:02,614
I pass out pillows to the ones that's

1189
00:43:02,614 --> 00:43:04,614
laying on the ground, and that's the most

1190
00:43:04,614 --> 00:43:06,554
important thing I do in my life

1191
00:43:07,655 --> 00:43:09,574
is see how I can make someone else's

1192
00:43:09,574 --> 00:43:11,034
life a little easier.

1193
00:43:11,894 --> 00:43:13,859
So I don't. I've never done the grants

1194
00:43:13,859 --> 00:43:16,119
and the proposals and those kinds of things,

1195
00:43:16,579 --> 00:43:18,679
but I've been funding things myself,

1196
00:43:19,380 --> 00:43:21,380
and I've got some things in the pipeline

1197
00:43:21,380 --> 00:43:23,699
now. And all of you that's getting ready

1198
00:43:23,699 --> 00:43:24,519
to hear this,

1199
00:43:24,835 --> 00:43:26,994
hey. Reach out to auntie Cheryl by way

1200
00:43:26,994 --> 00:43:28,135
of Susan

1201
00:43:28,835 --> 00:43:31,335
and Hey Human and who knows how we

1202
00:43:31,394 --> 00:43:32,775
will all come together and

1203
00:43:33,235 --> 00:43:34,614
and work to make this place,

1204
00:43:35,315 --> 00:43:37,650
this earth a better place. What's something from

1205
00:43:37,650 --> 00:43:40,449
your street ministry that has really stuck with

1206
00:43:40,449 --> 00:43:41,670
you as far as

1207
00:43:42,210 --> 00:43:43,829
the people who are unhomed,

1208
00:43:44,929 --> 00:43:47,089
what their outlook is, and what you see

1209
00:43:47,089 --> 00:43:48,389
in their humanity?

1210
00:43:50,295 --> 00:43:52,875
Well, when I we came together again

1211
00:43:53,974 --> 00:43:55,755
at the movie, no address,

1212
00:43:56,135 --> 00:43:57,914
and it is a feature film.

1213
00:43:58,614 --> 00:44:00,695
They put in work, and there really is

1214
00:44:00,695 --> 00:44:03,355
a real people that's been in the entertainment

1215
00:44:03,414 --> 00:44:04,635
industry, came together

1216
00:44:05,340 --> 00:44:07,820
for a topic that is just people don't

1217
00:44:07,820 --> 00:44:08,559
want to,

1218
00:44:09,420 --> 00:44:10,940
a lot of people don't wanna pay attention

1219
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:12,220
to that when it comes to a feature

1220
00:44:12,220 --> 00:44:14,860
film. So it was very powerful to see

1221
00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:17,200
that a feature got put together because

1222
00:44:17,820 --> 00:44:19,039
what I have learned

1223
00:44:19,340 --> 00:44:20,640
from those who

1224
00:44:21,315 --> 00:44:24,275
have to sleep in the cold elements at

1225
00:44:24,275 --> 00:44:24,775
night,

1226
00:44:25,474 --> 00:44:27,894
didn't want to exploit, so I started paying

1227
00:44:29,394 --> 00:44:31,335
people for their words of wisdom.

1228
00:44:31,635 --> 00:44:32,855
For whatever reason,

1229
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:34,880
I think they are the strongest of the

1230
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,099
strongest of the strongest.

1231
00:44:37,039 --> 00:44:37,780
Not suicide,

1232
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:40,820
but to choose to just say,

1233
00:44:41,119 --> 00:44:42,720
I can't take it, and I'm just gonna

1234
00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:45,539
live like this. And this society that teaches

1235
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,160
you the more you have, the better you

1236
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:48,660
are.

1237
00:44:49,074 --> 00:44:51,094
So it's the words of wisdom

1238
00:44:51,554 --> 00:44:53,715
from that one that's laying on the ground,

1239
00:44:53,715 --> 00:44:55,655
from that one that's living in a tent.

1240
00:44:55,715 --> 00:44:57,255
I encourage all of you.

1241
00:44:58,114 --> 00:45:00,195
Carry an apple or orange. Set at a

1242
00:45:00,195 --> 00:45:02,675
distance. Because what I was doing is quite

1243
00:45:02,675 --> 00:45:03,175
dangerous.

1244
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,039
Can be very dangerous sometimes to really walk

1245
00:45:06,039 --> 00:45:08,539
up on people, and, you know, that's really

1246
00:45:08,599 --> 00:45:09,739
in a lot of pain.

1247
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,219
But do everything you can

1248
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:15,579
to see how you can help somebody,

1249
00:45:16,894 --> 00:45:18,815
And that's the only way I could say

1250
00:45:18,815 --> 00:45:19,635
that joy

1251
00:45:20,094 --> 00:45:23,135
manifests in your lives. Yeah. Making it outside

1252
00:45:23,135 --> 00:45:26,175
of oneself is really the key because then

1253
00:45:26,175 --> 00:45:28,195
you don't have time to obsess over yourself.

1254
00:45:30,910 --> 00:45:32,829
We were really put here. We're hardwired to

1255
00:45:32,829 --> 00:45:34,849
care about each other. Heaven forbid,

1256
00:45:35,230 --> 00:45:37,550
if if somebody gets punched right now, we

1257
00:45:37,550 --> 00:45:38,769
see it. We're like, oh,

1258
00:45:39,390 --> 00:45:40,769
because we feel it.

1259
00:45:41,390 --> 00:45:43,969
We're here for each other. And to serve,

1260
00:45:44,735 --> 00:45:45,954
there's no higher honor.

1261
00:45:46,574 --> 00:45:48,574
Remind people again how to find you on

1262
00:45:48,574 --> 00:45:49,235
the websites.

1263
00:45:49,614 --> 00:45:50,114
Yes.

1264
00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:53,855
So Cheryl Rich, c h e r y

1265
00:45:53,855 --> 00:45:55,795
l r I c h.com,

1266
00:45:57,630 --> 00:45:58,130
and

1267
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:01,809
it's pointed to the helping people grow.org.

1268
00:46:02,269 --> 00:46:04,909
Sometimes on the Android, people have a a

1269
00:46:04,909 --> 00:46:06,369
problem getting to helping

1270
00:46:06,909 --> 00:46:08,049
people grow.org.

1271
00:46:09,389 --> 00:46:11,010
So both of those, and

1272
00:46:11,474 --> 00:46:13,235
look out for me coming I'm coming to

1273
00:46:13,235 --> 00:46:15,075
live stream with Susan. I'm gonna let you

1274
00:46:15,075 --> 00:46:16,434
know about it so you can reach out

1275
00:46:16,434 --> 00:46:17,255
to your population.

1276
00:46:17,954 --> 00:46:20,275
Absolutely. And, see what the creator has in

1277
00:46:20,275 --> 00:46:21,735
store for auntie Shirl

1278
00:46:22,275 --> 00:46:22,934
for the

1279
00:46:23,235 --> 00:46:25,235
the next chapter of her journey. And you're

1280
00:46:25,235 --> 00:46:28,280
writing a book too. Yes. I am. Naked

1281
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:28,780
Insanity.

1282
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,440
Hopefully, I have an editor. She's been torturing

1283
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:34,440
me because she knows I'm so handicapped when

1284
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:35,420
it comes to this.

1285
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,400
And I'm hoping Diane commits to assisting me

1286
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,000
so I could get this finished she's paid

1287
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:41,500
already.

1288
00:46:41,835 --> 00:46:43,514
So let's hope so. Do you have a

1289
00:46:43,514 --> 00:46:45,114
space that you go and sit and write?

1290
00:46:45,114 --> 00:46:47,195
Is that the issue, or is it just

1291
00:46:47,195 --> 00:46:49,594
trying to get your head wrapped around digging

1292
00:46:49,594 --> 00:46:50,655
up old stories?

1293
00:46:51,034 --> 00:46:53,114
No. I wrote a rough draft. I life

1294
00:46:53,114 --> 00:46:54,954
has been too full. So it's just from

1295
00:46:54,954 --> 00:46:55,454
birth

1296
00:46:55,835 --> 00:46:56,574
to Eric's

1297
00:46:57,159 --> 00:46:59,340
hitting his wings. I hate to say death.

1298
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:02,699
And, I wrote 260 some pages, but

1299
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,679
I I like I said, I didn't get

1300
00:47:04,679 --> 00:47:06,139
the foundation, really,

1301
00:47:06,519 --> 00:47:09,000
of education under my belt after a 12

1302
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,179
year old mother. It's been all willpower.

1303
00:47:12,315 --> 00:47:15,295
So my writing has gotten so much better.

1304
00:47:15,434 --> 00:47:17,594
I've I've spent maybe over I don't wanna

1305
00:47:17,594 --> 00:47:19,114
even talk about how much money I've spent

1306
00:47:19,114 --> 00:47:20,014
with wrong people

1307
00:47:20,394 --> 00:47:22,315
that said they could assist me with getting

1308
00:47:22,315 --> 00:47:24,714
this done. So Rayanne has learned how to

1309
00:47:24,714 --> 00:47:26,679
work with me, and I'm hoping that we

1310
00:47:26,679 --> 00:47:27,739
get to follow through.

1311
00:47:28,119 --> 00:47:29,719
And if not, I'll be on my livestream

1312
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:32,039
coming to the world telling the world, somebody

1313
00:47:32,039 --> 00:47:33,820
come help me finish this book, please.

1314
00:47:34,119 --> 00:47:35,260
Yeah. Well,

1315
00:47:35,559 --> 00:47:37,159
I'm excited to read it when you're done,

1316
00:47:37,159 --> 00:47:39,159
and all things in their time. I really

1317
00:47:39,159 --> 00:47:39,980
believe that.

1318
00:47:40,355 --> 00:47:42,355
That's right. So it it will be and

1319
00:47:42,355 --> 00:47:44,434
Eric, I'm sure, is also guiding you. I

1320
00:47:44,434 --> 00:47:46,454
also believe that very strongly. I

1321
00:47:46,914 --> 00:47:49,174
agree. Yeah. And your great grandmother.

1322
00:47:49,714 --> 00:47:50,694
Grandma Beulah.

1323
00:47:51,315 --> 00:47:54,170
Thank you. You you your warmth is just

1324
00:47:54,170 --> 00:47:56,650
infectious, and you're gonna stay in touch, you

1325
00:47:56,650 --> 00:47:57,789
love. Absolutely.

1326
00:47:58,250 --> 00:48:00,110
Thank you for listening, everybody.

1327
00:48:00,410 --> 00:48:02,750
Thank you, Cheryl. Thank you, everyone.

1328
00:48:03,450 --> 00:48:05,769
Oh, I'm so happy that the creator touched

1329
00:48:05,769 --> 00:48:07,505
you. You're gonna you've touched a lot of

1330
00:48:07,505 --> 00:48:09,045
lives. You're gonna keep on.

1331
00:48:09,905 --> 00:48:12,704
Thank you so much. Oh. Hey, humans. We

1332
00:48:12,704 --> 00:48:14,164
love you. Bye. Bye.

1333
00:48:15,184 --> 00:48:17,744
Rate, review, and subscribe to Hey Human Podcast

1334
00:48:17,744 --> 00:48:20,590
on Apple, Iheart, Spotify, or wherever you get

1335
00:48:20,590 --> 00:48:21,409
your podcasts.

1336
00:48:21,789 --> 00:48:23,010
Thanks. Bye.