1
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,719
Hey, humans. How's it going? Susan Ruth here.

2
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,500
Thanks for listening to another episode

3
00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:14,820
of Hey Human podcast.

4
00:00:15,894 --> 00:00:17,355
This is episode 433,

5
00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:20,295
and my guest is Lynn Yip. Lynn and

6
00:00:20,295 --> 00:00:21,835
I met through my friend, Jake.

7
00:00:22,214 --> 00:00:24,454
She and I met in real time last

8
00:00:24,454 --> 00:00:27,335
summer, and I immediately loved her. She's really

9
00:00:27,335 --> 00:00:29,355
cool, very smart, very fun.

10
00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:31,910
She's Malaysian Chinese and has lived all over

11
00:00:31,910 --> 00:00:34,490
the world. She currently resides in Paris.

12
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:35,850
She's a polyglot,

13
00:00:36,229 --> 00:00:37,850
and she works in the sustainability

14
00:00:38,229 --> 00:00:40,489
side of marketing with makers and artists.

15
00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:41,850
Really fascinating

16
00:00:42,149 --> 00:00:42,649
woman.

17
00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:45,105
Love her to death. Really happy that she

18
00:00:45,105 --> 00:00:46,385
said yes when I asked her to be

19
00:00:46,385 --> 00:00:47,284
on the show.

20
00:00:47,984 --> 00:00:49,605
In other news, check out heyhumanpodcast.com

21
00:00:50,545 --> 00:00:52,145
for links and to learn more about my

22
00:00:52,145 --> 00:00:54,785
guests and the show. Hey Human Podcast is

23
00:00:54,785 --> 00:00:57,984
on YouTube under official Susan Ruth. I'm on

24
00:00:57,984 --> 00:00:59,204
patreon at susanruthism.

25
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:01,229
My TikTok and Instagram

26
00:01:01,689 --> 00:01:02,829
is also susanruthism.

27
00:01:04,009 --> 00:01:04,909
Check out susanruth.com

28
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:06,729
to learn more about me and my other

29
00:01:06,729 --> 00:01:09,629
artistic endeavors, and find my albums on Spotify,

30
00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:12,409
Apple Music, Amazon Music, or wherever you get

31
00:01:12,409 --> 00:01:14,994
your music. Rate, review, and subscribe to Hey

32
00:01:14,994 --> 00:01:17,635
Human podcast on iTunes or wherever you get

33
00:01:17,635 --> 00:01:19,814
your podcasts, and thank you for listening.

34
00:01:20,194 --> 00:01:21,655
Be well, be kind,

35
00:01:22,114 --> 00:01:23,974
be loved. Here we go.

36
00:01:25,715 --> 00:01:27,814
Lynn Yip, welcome to Hey Human.

37
00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:30,019
Thank you, Susan.

38
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,859
It's lovely to see you.

39
00:01:32,239 --> 00:01:34,560
Lovely to see you too. I'm I'm glad

40
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,319
we had this chance because I know you're

41
00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:38,019
only visiting for a short while,

42
00:01:38,479 --> 00:01:41,119
and I met you through my dear friend,

43
00:01:41,119 --> 00:01:43,439
Jake, and you are his honey bunny love

44
00:01:43,439 --> 00:01:45,515
love, and I adore Jake. Of course, I

45
00:01:45,515 --> 00:01:47,274
adore you, and I've gotten to know you

46
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,034
a little bit while you've been here. Not

47
00:01:49,114 --> 00:01:51,114
obviously, we haven't had a whole lot of

48
00:01:51,114 --> 00:01:52,254
time together, but

49
00:01:52,715 --> 00:01:54,234
a little bit. And I thought, you know

50
00:01:54,234 --> 00:01:56,155
what? As long as you're in town, might

51
00:01:56,155 --> 00:01:58,075
as well get you on the show. I

52
00:01:58,075 --> 00:01:58,799
love that.

53
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,799
Yeah. Yeah. I'm it's an honor to be

54
00:02:00,799 --> 00:02:01,299
here.

55
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,020
I love the show. I love the idea

56
00:02:04,079 --> 00:02:07,520
of it. I love the, the philosophy of

57
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,280
it. And, you know, I feel like if

58
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,754
we lived the way the show is, it's

59
00:02:11,995 --> 00:02:13,995
it would, you know, it just makes life

60
00:02:13,995 --> 00:02:14,655
more beautiful.

61
00:02:15,514 --> 00:02:17,594
Thank you. That's a big compliment. I appreciate

62
00:02:17,594 --> 00:02:19,935
that. Well, let's jump in. Tell me

63
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,474
where you grew up, what shaped you as

64
00:02:22,474 --> 00:02:23,055
a person?

65
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:27,469
I grew up in Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia.

66
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:28,830
And,

67
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,469
what shaped me as a person?

68
00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:35,469
Well, that's a big question.

69
00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:39,014
It was interesting because Malaysia is a country

70
00:02:39,014 --> 00:02:41,674
that is we have a lot of different

71
00:02:42,215 --> 00:02:44,235
cultures that we grew up with

72
00:02:44,775 --> 00:02:47,114
and everybody has their place,

73
00:02:47,495 --> 00:02:50,349
an allocated place in the country, and it's

74
00:02:50,349 --> 00:02:53,250
not always comfortable, but it is somewhat

75
00:02:53,629 --> 00:02:55,709
peaceful at the same time. What do you

76
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,409
mean by allocated place?

77
00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:00,769
So Malaysia is made of 3 different ethnicities

78
00:03:01,069 --> 00:03:03,814
and so 3 different main cultures. I mean,

79
00:03:03,814 --> 00:03:05,895
there's more than 3, but the main cultures

80
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:06,395
are

81
00:03:06,935 --> 00:03:08,395
the Malays who are

82
00:03:08,775 --> 00:03:11,254
what they consider in the country, the people

83
00:03:11,254 --> 00:03:13,594
of the land, and then the Chinese

84
00:03:13,895 --> 00:03:15,594
who are considered immigrants

85
00:03:16,215 --> 00:03:17,490
and because we are,

86
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,629
and the Indians from South India mostly,

87
00:03:21,490 --> 00:03:23,909
and, who are also considered immigrants.

88
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:26,129
So it's a real, it's a really at

89
00:03:26,129 --> 00:03:27,830
the same time, great mix

90
00:03:29,090 --> 00:03:30,675
of cultures that are

91
00:03:31,235 --> 00:03:33,415
very well integrated into one another.

92
00:03:34,194 --> 00:03:37,175
Also, we feel our difference a lot because,

93
00:03:37,474 --> 00:03:39,655
like, in the social political sense,

94
00:03:40,115 --> 00:03:42,375
and somehow everyone just accepts

95
00:03:42,754 --> 00:03:45,335
their position. Like the Malays have privilege.

96
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,139
This is a widely known thing and,

97
00:03:48,599 --> 00:03:50,459
because we are considered to be outsiders.

98
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,759
But then we have known this for a

99
00:03:52,759 --> 00:03:54,840
long time and we've kind of like lived

100
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,340
with it. They have, you know, it upsets

101
00:03:57,639 --> 00:04:00,280
people to a certain point of feeling like

102
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,705
you're not being a part of where you're

103
00:04:02,705 --> 00:04:03,205
from.

104
00:04:04,224 --> 00:04:06,384
And, but at the same time, you find

105
00:04:06,384 --> 00:04:06,884
it,

106
00:04:07,185 --> 00:04:07,685
you

107
00:04:08,544 --> 00:04:10,405
find your home in your own way.

108
00:04:10,705 --> 00:04:12,705
It means something to you in your own

109
00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:13,844
way. You interact

110
00:04:14,224 --> 00:04:15,939
with it in your own way. You know,

111
00:04:15,939 --> 00:04:18,339
you make your own relationship with it. There's

112
00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:18,819
a big,

113
00:04:19,379 --> 00:04:22,199
filmmaker, one of the biggest filmmakers in Malaysia.

114
00:04:22,339 --> 00:04:24,339
I can't, you know, I'm just can't remember

115
00:04:24,339 --> 00:04:25,399
her name now.

116
00:04:25,939 --> 00:04:27,939
There are not many, actually. It's been like

117
00:04:27,939 --> 00:04:28,920
many, many years.

118
00:04:29,464 --> 00:04:30,845
And, and she said

119
00:04:31,384 --> 00:04:33,305
she was, she was brilliant, and she made

120
00:04:33,305 --> 00:04:35,625
a lot of movies about the culture, about

121
00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,164
this topic, you know,

122
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,164
and she's fantastic. And she was

123
00:04:39,464 --> 00:04:40,685
a trans woman.

124
00:04:41,224 --> 00:04:42,845
And that was very, very

125
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,500
a big deal in Malaysia.

126
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,399
And she said being, being anything other than

127
00:04:49,399 --> 00:04:49,899
Malay

128
00:04:50,199 --> 00:04:52,279
in, in Malaysia is like being in love

129
00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,139
with someone who's not in love with you.

130
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,460
Oh, wow. That's powerful.

131
00:04:57,845 --> 00:04:59,845
Yeah. It is. And we live that way.

132
00:04:59,845 --> 00:05:01,704
And Is it a caste systems

133
00:05:02,165 --> 00:05:02,824
sort of,

134
00:05:03,285 --> 00:05:04,425
or is it hierarchical?

135
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,884
Like, you can't get a certain job? Or

136
00:05:06,884 --> 00:05:09,764
is it more the vibe? The the vibe

137
00:05:09,764 --> 00:05:11,865
is actually pretty good. Like, people

138
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,740
individually with neighbors, with, you know, community,

139
00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:17,600
the vibe is great. It's a, but in

140
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,060
terms of policies and

141
00:05:19,439 --> 00:05:21,519
like certain laws, like you can't start a

142
00:05:21,519 --> 00:05:22,019
business,

143
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,480
if you don't start one with a Malay

144
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,555
person or when they build a building like

145
00:05:27,555 --> 00:05:30,035
the choice, like, for an apartment building, for

146
00:05:30,035 --> 00:05:33,394
instance, like the choice places are, you know,

147
00:05:33,394 --> 00:05:35,894
for, first of all, for the Malay then.

148
00:05:36,194 --> 00:05:38,194
I feel like I haven't lived in Malaysia

149
00:05:38,194 --> 00:05:41,240
for many years for almost 20 years. And

150
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,600
so, you know, I'm sure there's a lot

151
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,819
of things that are changing,

152
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,759
which is great, you know? And,

153
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,980
but what the beauty of Malaysia is that

154
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,660
we learn to live peacefully

155
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,740
with all of that, because

156
00:05:54,644 --> 00:05:56,185
on a neighborly level,

157
00:05:56,644 --> 00:05:59,545
on a relational level, on a friendship level,

158
00:06:00,564 --> 00:06:03,044
we know that this is not a personal

159
00:06:03,044 --> 00:06:03,544
thing,

160
00:06:04,084 --> 00:06:05,845
you know, and we want to keep that

161
00:06:05,845 --> 00:06:07,384
peace. We want to see

162
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:08,480
each other,

163
00:06:08,939 --> 00:06:11,100
you know, as a person and individually. I

164
00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:12,459
think a lot of people do. I grew

165
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:13,360
up in a home

166
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,579
with the Malays on the one side and

167
00:06:15,579 --> 00:06:16,240
the Indian

168
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:19,199
neighbors on the other. And we shared everything.

169
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,060
Like our cultures, we celebrated all of each

170
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:22,879
other's holidays.

171
00:06:23,444 --> 00:06:25,625
We never returned a Tupperware empty.

172
00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:28,504
We, you know, things like that. And

173
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,824
so that was how I grew up. And

174
00:06:30,884 --> 00:06:32,504
I grew up with a wonderful

175
00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:34,884
house, like, a woman who took care of

176
00:06:34,884 --> 00:06:36,600
us, like, you know, a home

177
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,579
and children. And I grew up with her

178
00:06:38,579 --> 00:06:40,519
and she was my first friend. And

179
00:06:40,819 --> 00:06:42,500
I, you know, and that was wonderful. And

180
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,600
I learned to cook with her. I learned

181
00:06:44,899 --> 00:06:47,379
to play with her. And that was a

182
00:06:47,379 --> 00:06:48,519
big part of our culture.

183
00:06:49,574 --> 00:06:51,514
So going over the Himalayas? She's

184
00:06:52,535 --> 00:06:54,235
Chinese. Chinese. Okay.

185
00:06:54,935 --> 00:06:57,735
Yeah. Yeah. And she had 10 children, and

186
00:06:57,735 --> 00:07:00,214
she was our housekeeper and our nanny, and

187
00:07:00,214 --> 00:07:01,514
she lived with us.

188
00:07:01,939 --> 00:07:04,259
And she had 10 children. I didn't know

189
00:07:04,259 --> 00:07:05,319
that growing up.

190
00:07:05,699 --> 00:07:08,019
And she spent 5 days or 6 days

191
00:07:08,019 --> 00:07:09,159
a week with us.

192
00:07:09,539 --> 00:07:12,099
And well, she had 10 children to feed,

193
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,699
you know, and she didn't bring them up

194
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:15,379
because she was bringing me up. And that

195
00:07:15,379 --> 00:07:15,879
was,

196
00:07:16,204 --> 00:07:18,125
and that was the life that she had.

197
00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:21,564
And that's an extraordinary life, isn't it? Did

198
00:07:21,564 --> 00:07:23,024
you meet her children? Yeah.

199
00:07:23,805 --> 00:07:24,464
I met

200
00:07:25,004 --> 00:07:25,745
her daughter

201
00:07:26,204 --> 00:07:27,745
a couple of years ago.

202
00:07:29,004 --> 00:07:29,504
About

203
00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:31,789
about 8 years ago.

204
00:07:32,329 --> 00:07:35,289
I met her daughter after, because I lost

205
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,069
contact with her for many years.

206
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,169
And I told my father one day, I

207
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,089
said, you have to find her because she's

208
00:07:42,089 --> 00:07:43,469
getting older. And

209
00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:46,525
and I want to see her before, before,

210
00:07:46,745 --> 00:07:48,985
you know, it's too late. And because she

211
00:07:48,985 --> 00:07:50,605
had a falling out with my mother,

212
00:07:52,824 --> 00:07:53,965
when I was like

213
00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:55,884
13 or something.

214
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,759
And so I was not allowed to see

215
00:07:57,759 --> 00:07:59,279
her for many years, and I said, I

216
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,879
have to find her. And so he found

217
00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:03,379
her, and I met her daughter

218
00:08:03,759 --> 00:08:05,600
for the first time, and that's how I

219
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,899
knew she had 10 children.

220
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,759
Her daughter had bought a house. So she

221
00:08:09,759 --> 00:08:11,464
grew up and, you know, she had a

222
00:08:11,464 --> 00:08:13,324
good life. And she bought

223
00:08:14,104 --> 00:08:15,724
her house next to herself.

224
00:08:16,185 --> 00:08:17,944
So she lived next to her daughter with

225
00:08:17,944 --> 00:08:19,084
a 3 legged dog.

226
00:08:19,464 --> 00:08:19,964
And

227
00:08:20,824 --> 00:08:22,204
it was lovely.

228
00:08:22,584 --> 00:08:23,944
And I went to see them and her

229
00:08:23,944 --> 00:08:25,949
daughter said to me, oh, you know, like,

230
00:08:25,949 --> 00:08:28,670
she was so kind and, and so wonderful.

231
00:08:28,670 --> 00:08:30,589
And throughout the course of the conversation, I

232
00:08:30,589 --> 00:08:33,149
realized that, that she had 10 children and

233
00:08:33,149 --> 00:08:35,549
her daughter had grown up without her mother

234
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,389
because her mother had brought me up. And

235
00:08:37,389 --> 00:08:38,450
she was so

236
00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:41,365
generous and so kind. There was not a

237
00:08:41,365 --> 00:08:44,004
single ounce of resentment or anything like that,

238
00:08:44,004 --> 00:08:44,585
you know.

239
00:08:44,964 --> 00:08:46,725
And she treated me as if I was

240
00:08:46,725 --> 00:08:48,404
family. She was like, oh, you know, of

241
00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:49,304
course, like,

242
00:08:50,485 --> 00:08:52,919
I would I mean, I can't wrap my

243
00:08:52,919 --> 00:08:55,240
head around that. So was your family a

244
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,720
family of means then? So that was sort

245
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,259
of the way that works? No.

246
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,699
It's a very middle class thing in Malaysia

247
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:05,159
to have that, actually. It's in I guess

248
00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:07,500
it's we were comfortable, I guess,

249
00:09:07,934 --> 00:09:10,095
maybe upper middle class. You know, you never

250
00:09:10,095 --> 00:09:11,235
really understand,

251
00:09:12,495 --> 00:09:14,414
wealth or the lack of it when you're

252
00:09:14,414 --> 00:09:15,075
a child.

253
00:09:15,615 --> 00:09:17,455
I guess now when I think about it,

254
00:09:17,455 --> 00:09:19,375
I think about the stuff that my mom

255
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:20,654
had as a woman and I was like,

256
00:09:20,654 --> 00:09:22,815
well, I can't afford that. I was like,

257
00:09:22,815 --> 00:09:25,710
maybe, maybe we were doing alright, you know.

258
00:09:25,929 --> 00:09:26,589
The Malaysian

259
00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:31,470
culture, does it allow for marriage between Malaysians

260
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,769
and Chinese or Malaysians and Indians? Or is

261
00:09:33,769 --> 00:09:34,750
that a no no?

262
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,085
Yeah, the Malay,

263
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:41,965
yeah, Malays can marry anybody, as long asMalays

264
00:09:42,024 --> 00:09:44,125
do not have freedom of religion,

265
00:09:45,065 --> 00:09:47,465
of faith. So they have to be Muslim.

266
00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:49,865
Malaysia is a Muslim country, but only for

267
00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:52,320
the Malays. So they don't have a choice

268
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,160
but to be Muslim. And so if you

269
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,740
were to marry into a traditional Malay family,

270
00:09:56,799 --> 00:09:58,960
you have to convert. And if you don't

271
00:09:58,960 --> 00:09:59,460
convert,

272
00:09:59,919 --> 00:10:01,919
I don't think they actually give you the

273
00:10:01,919 --> 00:10:02,419
marriage

274
00:10:03,325 --> 00:10:05,485
license. I don't think you're allowed to. Some

275
00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:07,325
people, they fall in love and they leave

276
00:10:07,325 --> 00:10:09,644
the country. And they so they can be

277
00:10:09,644 --> 00:10:12,524
or some people just convert because, you know,

278
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:13,504
like they say,

279
00:10:14,365 --> 00:10:15,504
if you don't believe,

280
00:10:16,059 --> 00:10:18,139
then, you know, like, baptism is just some

281
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,200
water in your head.

282
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,379
Sure. You know? And so it doesn't really

283
00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:23,899
matter. And a lot of people do that.

284
00:10:23,899 --> 00:10:25,180
They just do it so that they can

285
00:10:25,180 --> 00:10:27,120
be accepted by society,

286
00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:29,680
accepted by the family, tend to be together.

287
00:10:30,164 --> 00:10:33,144
When rules exist like this in a country,

288
00:10:33,764 --> 00:10:34,664
do you find

289
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:36,825
that the young people

290
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:41,044
are bucking against it? Or do you think

291
00:10:41,044 --> 00:10:41,544
in

292
00:10:42,485 --> 00:10:44,164
that part of the world, they just go

293
00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:45,304
along to get along?

294
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:47,850
I think a lot of people go along

295
00:10:47,850 --> 00:10:50,509
to get along. And they not just

296
00:10:50,889 --> 00:10:53,529
that, I think some people really integrate it.

297
00:10:53,529 --> 00:10:55,710
They really embrace it and they find

298
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:59,085
their they find purpose and meaning in it

299
00:10:59,404 --> 00:11:00,065
in order

300
00:11:00,764 --> 00:11:03,325
to survive. They don't live it as a

301
00:11:03,325 --> 00:11:05,504
lack of freedom. They live it as duty

302
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:06,785
and honor

303
00:11:07,644 --> 00:11:08,304
and values

304
00:11:09,245 --> 00:11:10,625
as well, you know?

305
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,384
And there are some who

306
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:15,709
just can't stand it and they leave or

307
00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:17,610
they're against it, or they make their own

308
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:18,350
lives and

309
00:11:19,529 --> 00:11:20,829
they go against that,

310
00:11:21,209 --> 00:11:21,949
you know,

311
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:24,009
they stand up for what they believe and

312
00:11:24,009 --> 00:11:24,669
they choose

313
00:11:25,289 --> 00:11:27,289
a more difficult life. I have a friend

314
00:11:27,289 --> 00:11:28,909
who did that. And it's not between

315
00:11:29,345 --> 00:11:31,345
a Malay and anybody else, it's between the

316
00:11:31,345 --> 00:11:34,725
Chinese and Indian, because there's also that there's

317
00:11:34,785 --> 00:11:35,605
a lot of

318
00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:36,725
racism,

319
00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:37,764
you know,

320
00:11:38,384 --> 00:11:40,245
for to call it what it is. And

321
00:11:40,304 --> 00:11:42,465
as well, there's a lot of othering and,

322
00:11:42,865 --> 00:11:45,205
an intolerance of difference and class,

323
00:11:47,159 --> 00:11:48,299
like, consciousness,

324
00:11:48,919 --> 00:11:49,580
I guess,

325
00:11:50,279 --> 00:11:50,779
divides.

326
00:11:51,159 --> 00:11:52,639
And I have a friend who came from

327
00:11:52,639 --> 00:11:54,940
a very, very wealthy family and

328
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,879
she fell in love with a kind of

329
00:11:57,879 --> 00:11:59,179
rock star musician,

330
00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:03,745
Indian guy that she just loves, and and

331
00:12:03,745 --> 00:12:05,504
she just gave it all up. And she

332
00:12:05,504 --> 00:12:06,644
moved to Australia.

333
00:12:07,424 --> 00:12:08,945
To be with him? I'm gonna do this.

334
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,784
Yeah. She's I don't care if you you're

335
00:12:10,784 --> 00:12:12,544
okay with it or not. I'm I love

336
00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:14,225
this man, and I'm gonna and that's why

337
00:12:14,225 --> 00:12:17,149
it's gonna you know? That's really interesting. The

338
00:12:17,149 --> 00:12:20,429
overall culture is a particular thing that has

339
00:12:20,429 --> 00:12:23,250
subculture within it. And then within those subcultures,

340
00:12:23,389 --> 00:12:25,009
there's also very strict

341
00:12:25,629 --> 00:12:26,129
ideology

342
00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:27,090
and

343
00:12:27,629 --> 00:12:28,450
decision making

344
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:29,570
that is

345
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,170
not

346
00:12:31,924 --> 00:12:32,424
autonomous.

347
00:12:33,924 --> 00:12:34,424
Yes.

348
00:12:34,964 --> 00:12:38,404
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There, you know, where I

349
00:12:38,404 --> 00:12:39,144
come from,

350
00:12:39,764 --> 00:12:40,264
the,

351
00:12:40,644 --> 00:12:42,105
the whole idea of community

352
00:12:42,644 --> 00:12:45,205
and the other, the next person, the person

353
00:12:45,205 --> 00:12:46,889
in front of you and around around you

354
00:12:46,889 --> 00:12:48,190
is a big deal.

355
00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:51,129
We do that is a good thing and

356
00:12:51,129 --> 00:12:52,269
a not so good thing.

357
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:53,309
You know,

358
00:12:54,089 --> 00:12:57,129
it can, it can create really a really

359
00:12:57,129 --> 00:13:00,274
good life because you, humans, I feel, are

360
00:13:00,274 --> 00:13:01,254
very community

361
00:13:02,195 --> 00:13:02,695
based,

362
00:13:03,154 --> 00:13:04,615
you know, animals. And,

363
00:13:05,394 --> 00:13:07,095
we need, it takes a village.

364
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,654
And, you know, we do,

365
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,735
we seek family and community,

366
00:13:12,355 --> 00:13:14,669
and that's very strong where I come from.

367
00:13:14,909 --> 00:13:16,909
But there are also there's also a lot

368
00:13:16,909 --> 00:13:20,450
of intolerance and rules in community that communities

369
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:23,809
are often afraid of difference, afraid of nonconformity.

370
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:29,644
Were you raised as a Chinese person? Were

371
00:13:29,644 --> 00:13:32,445
you raised Buddhist? Or what was your faith

372
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,184
growing up?

373
00:13:33,884 --> 00:13:35,745
I was I was Protestant.

374
00:13:36,285 --> 00:13:39,804
My parents were very religious. Oh, wow. Okay.

375
00:13:39,804 --> 00:13:41,745
That throws me for a loop. Okay.

376
00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:43,379
Yeah. But within,

377
00:13:43,759 --> 00:13:46,500
yeah, but within the family, within my family,

378
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,879
like extended family, because extended family is a

379
00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:50,660
big thing. Like they have say,

380
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,460
and we used to spend our weekends,

381
00:13:54,399 --> 00:13:57,134
at, on Saturdays, it would be at

382
00:13:57,595 --> 00:14:00,315
my grandparents' house on my mother's side. And

383
00:14:00,315 --> 00:14:02,095
on Sunday, Sunday dinner

384
00:14:02,714 --> 00:14:05,034
at the grandparents' house on my father's side,

385
00:14:05,034 --> 00:14:07,559
because that's the prime day. It's like eat,

386
00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:09,559
drink, man, woman. I think that story, that

387
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,720
movie was about the girls going home to

388
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,200
have dinner with their father, right? Every Sunday

389
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,200
or something. And it's a, it really is

390
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,820
a thing. And so the extended family was

391
00:14:20,285 --> 00:14:24,125
Buddhist, but also culturally Buddhist and by Buddhist

392
00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:26,625
by some sort of traditional practice.

393
00:14:27,004 --> 00:14:29,165
It's not really, and it's not the Buddhism

394
00:14:29,165 --> 00:14:31,644
that you see in yoga studios here, you

395
00:14:31,644 --> 00:14:34,545
know, it's, it's very much based on ancestral

396
00:14:34,684 --> 00:14:35,184
worship,

397
00:14:35,889 --> 00:14:38,690
the idea of prosperity. There was not, I

398
00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:39,909
never heard a lot of

399
00:14:40,289 --> 00:14:41,429
Buddhist philosophy

400
00:14:41,889 --> 00:14:43,809
come out of those things. We had altars

401
00:14:43,809 --> 00:14:46,610
at home and food that was offered to

402
00:14:46,610 --> 00:14:49,169
the ancestors on the altars and that kind

403
00:14:49,169 --> 00:14:49,829
of Buddhism.

404
00:14:50,605 --> 00:14:51,745
And my parents

405
00:14:52,045 --> 00:14:53,904
became very, very

406
00:14:54,365 --> 00:14:54,865
stout

407
00:14:55,485 --> 00:14:55,985
Protestants.

408
00:14:56,764 --> 00:14:58,225
I think because they were,

409
00:14:58,845 --> 00:14:59,745
they got into

410
00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:02,764
the church because of Sunday School, because Sunday

411
00:15:02,764 --> 00:15:03,665
School is essentially,

412
00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:06,450
now that I've grown up and realized it,

413
00:15:06,829 --> 00:15:07,570
free childcare

414
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:08,850
over the weekends.

415
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,049
Right? Makes sense.

416
00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:15,389
Yeah. And so, so they got into it

417
00:15:15,389 --> 00:15:16,909
and they found a lot of meaning in

418
00:15:16,909 --> 00:15:18,850
it. And that was,

419
00:15:20,054 --> 00:15:21,495
that was how I was brought up. It

420
00:15:21,495 --> 00:15:21,995
was

421
00:15:22,295 --> 00:15:24,875
it was not my my favorite experience.

422
00:15:25,495 --> 00:15:27,654
Well, I was just gonna ask you about

423
00:15:27,654 --> 00:15:29,274
that. So how does one

424
00:15:30,695 --> 00:15:33,014
growing up in a place where identity sounds

425
00:15:33,014 --> 00:15:34,875
pretty important all around.

426
00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:39,049
How does one develop one's sense of self?

427
00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:41,850
Oh, interesting.

428
00:15:43,190 --> 00:15:43,929
You don't.

429
00:15:45,669 --> 00:15:46,230
It's not

430
00:15:47,590 --> 00:15:49,850
I know it sounds a little crazy, but

431
00:15:50,184 --> 00:15:52,105
it's not, that's not the first thing on

432
00:15:52,105 --> 00:15:53,644
the menu, you know,

433
00:15:54,105 --> 00:15:56,764
because it's all about community and duty

434
00:15:57,465 --> 00:15:58,045
and being

435
00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:01,245
a good something to somebody.

436
00:16:02,105 --> 00:16:02,605
That's,

437
00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:04,365
I hope I'm not,

438
00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:07,529
as I'm saying this, I hope I'm not

439
00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:09,289
making a caricature,

440
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,470
you know, in my, you know, for in

441
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:15,429
my head, in my own head. But that's

442
00:16:15,429 --> 00:16:15,929
somehow

443
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:17,784
I feel that,

444
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:20,404
that the sense of self is not the

445
00:16:20,404 --> 00:16:21,625
first thing

446
00:16:22,084 --> 00:16:23,065
on the agenda.

447
00:16:24,004 --> 00:16:26,345
The, you know, it's about,

448
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,625
it's about being a good person,

449
00:16:30,049 --> 00:16:32,689
a good daughter, a good son, a good

450
00:16:32,689 --> 00:16:33,990
wife or a good husband,

451
00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:36,949
and then a good parent, a good worker,

452
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,230
a good homemaker.

453
00:16:39,089 --> 00:16:39,589
That's,

454
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,230
the identity is based on roles.

455
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:45,575
I learned very late in life

456
00:16:46,034 --> 00:16:46,534
to

457
00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:48,695
develop a sense of self.

458
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:53,154
And, but everybody has it naturally, obviously. And

459
00:16:53,154 --> 00:16:54,774
you live with that existential

460
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:56,214
loneliness

461
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:59,590
of, you know, kind of wandering

462
00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:04,789
the desert of that, you know,

463
00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:08,609
and then like coming upon things that define

464
00:17:08,609 --> 00:17:10,769
you as like, as if you're blind and

465
00:17:10,769 --> 00:17:12,210
you're in a room and you're trying to

466
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:12,950
figure out

467
00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:14,125
what

468
00:17:15,384 --> 00:17:17,705
the environment is by kind of like feeling

469
00:17:17,705 --> 00:17:19,945
around in the dark. And that's what it

470
00:17:19,945 --> 00:17:21,805
felt like trying to find myself,

471
00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:23,565
a sense of self anyway.

472
00:17:24,265 --> 00:17:25,805
When do you think your first

473
00:17:26,105 --> 00:17:29,085
moment was then of discovering who you are?

474
00:17:30,019 --> 00:17:31,880
Wow. It was so late.

475
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:35,400
I think it was super recent. It was

476
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:36,119
maybe,

477
00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:37,960
you know, it was after

478
00:17:38,819 --> 00:17:40,279
it was after my divorce.

479
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:42,615
That was about

480
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,494
maybe 7 years ago now.

481
00:17:46,115 --> 00:17:48,775
And that was, that was a huge thing.

482
00:17:48,994 --> 00:17:50,835
It was a huge moment in my life

483
00:17:50,835 --> 00:17:51,894
that kind of,

484
00:17:52,434 --> 00:17:53,575
it was like a,

485
00:17:54,515 --> 00:17:55,494
what do you say?

486
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,700
Like in French we say,

487
00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:58,900
you know,

488
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,980
like a tearing of something.

489
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,539
And I guess it's a cleaving,

490
00:18:04,799 --> 00:18:06,340
right? A cleaving from

491
00:18:06,799 --> 00:18:08,740
a certain idea and,

492
00:18:09,039 --> 00:18:09,700
you know,

493
00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:10,775
that,

494
00:18:11,714 --> 00:18:14,035
and that was a moment where I was

495
00:18:14,035 --> 00:18:14,535
alone

496
00:18:14,835 --> 00:18:17,394
in France, and I was in a country

497
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:19,575
that is very much about the self,

498
00:18:20,355 --> 00:18:20,855
right?

499
00:18:21,555 --> 00:18:22,295
And I

500
00:18:22,674 --> 00:18:23,174
was

501
00:18:23,819 --> 00:18:25,919
cleaving from the role of,

502
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:28,159
of wife

503
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,159
and the idea

504
00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:32,159
of being a woman

505
00:18:33,019 --> 00:18:34,000
that I had

506
00:18:34,619 --> 00:18:35,119
before.

507
00:18:36,095 --> 00:18:38,035
And then that was when I began

508
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:39,214
to,

509
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:40,035
have,

510
00:18:40,414 --> 00:18:42,835
and I had no family near me.

511
00:18:43,295 --> 00:18:45,615
I was struggling with my job because I

512
00:18:45,615 --> 00:18:47,214
had a business and I closed it at

513
00:18:47,214 --> 00:18:49,615
the same time. It was all going down

514
00:18:49,615 --> 00:18:51,970
at the same time. So, so you're sitting

515
00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:53,650
there and you're like, it's like a tabula

516
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:55,029
rasa, you know, like

517
00:18:55,409 --> 00:18:58,630
you, you, you don't have all the anchors

518
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:01,029
that, that kind of, you know,

519
00:19:01,409 --> 00:19:02,710
the, all the landmarks

520
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,329
that you would use to, to navigate this

521
00:19:05,329 --> 00:19:06,630
life that you thought,

522
00:19:07,464 --> 00:19:09,004
you know, you wanted to live.

523
00:19:09,865 --> 00:19:11,384
And so I had to sit there and

524
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,924
go, wow, what is this?

525
00:19:13,544 --> 00:19:15,085
And who am I?

526
00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:16,204
And

527
00:19:16,904 --> 00:19:18,904
what does it mean to be me? That

528
00:19:18,904 --> 00:19:21,304
must have been scary, but exciting at the

529
00:19:21,304 --> 00:19:22,125
same time.

530
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:24,679
Oh, yeah. It was terrifying.

531
00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:27,460
It was the first time I felt fear

532
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:30,920
actually, like really visceral fear in my life.

533
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:32,579
And it was also a time of like

534
00:19:32,579 --> 00:19:33,799
financial difficulty,

535
00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:36,599
you know, on a very important level.

536
00:19:37,304 --> 00:19:39,544
And I was like, wow, when you don't

537
00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:41,325
know how you're going to pay rent,

538
00:19:42,024 --> 00:19:44,365
and I never had that problem, you know?

539
00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:46,825
And you don't know if someone's going to

540
00:19:46,825 --> 00:19:48,585
rent you an apartment, you don't know, you

541
00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:49,404
know, and

542
00:19:49,704 --> 00:19:51,865
you're really in a culture that's very different

543
00:19:51,865 --> 00:19:52,845
than yours. And

544
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:53,900
that was

545
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,039
And at the same time, like you don't

546
00:19:56,039 --> 00:19:57,559
know if you've made the biggest mistake of

547
00:19:57,559 --> 00:19:59,080
your life, you don't know if you can

548
00:19:59,080 --> 00:19:59,900
trust yourself,

549
00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:02,299
that was the first time I felt fear

550
00:20:02,519 --> 00:20:03,340
in my life.

551
00:20:03,799 --> 00:20:05,580
I'm actually usually too

552
00:20:06,615 --> 00:20:07,835
stupid to be afraid.

553
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:11,035
You are not stupid. You

554
00:20:11,575 --> 00:20:14,234
can either be really brave or really dumb.

555
00:20:14,295 --> 00:20:16,454
Sometimes I feel like I've done things that

556
00:20:16,454 --> 00:20:18,295
appear brave, but it's really because I didn't

557
00:20:18,295 --> 00:20:20,795
understand the danger I was going into.

558
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:24,220
That is brave, isn't it? To to jump

559
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:25,039
into something

560
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,380
again, this is what has been said over

561
00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:30,559
and over again for millennia is that

562
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,799
bravery is not the absence

563
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:35,900
of fear. Bravery is being afraid and doing

564
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:36,559
it anyway.

565
00:20:38,045 --> 00:20:39,184
Yes. Yeah.

566
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,085
Yeah. But I feel like I did a

567
00:20:41,085 --> 00:20:43,025
lot of things in the absence of fear.

568
00:20:43,525 --> 00:20:44,025
No.

569
00:20:44,525 --> 00:20:46,464
Did you get married at a young age?

570
00:20:47,565 --> 00:20:50,384
No. I got married at, I think,

571
00:20:50,924 --> 00:20:51,424
30

572
00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:53,019
31,

573
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,960
I think, if I remember correctly. Those years

574
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:56,859
seem like such

575
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,339
a blur to me. They're so clear

576
00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:02,440
and so unclear at the same time. It's

577
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,039
as if it's been put in a shelf

578
00:21:04,039 --> 00:21:04,859
in my mind

579
00:21:06,585 --> 00:21:09,224
that is, you know, it's there, but it's

580
00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:09,724
like

581
00:21:11,224 --> 00:21:13,384
hard to get to, you know? Do you

582
00:21:13,384 --> 00:21:14,044
have siblings?

583
00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:16,184
I do. I have a sister. She's in

584
00:21:16,184 --> 00:21:18,525
Hong Kong. She's 3 years older than me.

585
00:21:19,259 --> 00:21:22,299
Are expectations for youngest daughter different than eldest

586
00:21:22,299 --> 00:21:23,680
daughter in your culture?

587
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,559
Yes. Yes. I actually,

588
00:21:27,259 --> 00:21:30,779
I actually grew up with no expectations on

589
00:21:30,779 --> 00:21:32,960
me because everything was put on my sister.

590
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,240
To her

591
00:21:34,595 --> 00:21:37,154
detriment, really, it's been, it's really unfair. And

592
00:21:37,154 --> 00:21:38,355
I, you know, I wish I could have

593
00:21:38,355 --> 00:21:39,734
taken that away from her.

594
00:21:40,195 --> 00:21:41,095
But, you know,

595
00:21:41,795 --> 00:21:42,934
it is also something

596
00:21:43,394 --> 00:21:45,795
very odd to have people expect nothing of

597
00:21:45,795 --> 00:21:46,295
you.

598
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:49,900
That, that, that also shaped a big part

599
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:51,119
of who I am.

600
00:21:51,819 --> 00:21:53,980
Yeah. And I gotta say, like, I don't

601
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,119
think it's said enough,

602
00:21:55,660 --> 00:21:56,160
how

603
00:21:56,539 --> 00:21:59,259
expectations can really hurt somebody, but the lack

604
00:21:59,259 --> 00:22:01,214
of it can also do this, do that,

605
00:22:01,294 --> 00:22:02,835
You know? You learn

606
00:22:03,294 --> 00:22:04,595
expectations to a certain,

607
00:22:05,855 --> 00:22:07,634
point is a vote of confidence.

608
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:10,734
It's to say, I look at you and

609
00:22:10,734 --> 00:22:11,554
I believe

610
00:22:12,015 --> 00:22:13,315
that you can do this.

611
00:22:14,819 --> 00:22:15,960
To a healthy point,

612
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,119
parental expectations

613
00:22:18,660 --> 00:22:19,799
can be a way

614
00:22:20,099 --> 00:22:23,559
for the parent to want to self actualize

615
00:22:23,859 --> 00:22:24,759
through somebody

616
00:22:25,460 --> 00:22:27,160
else, through their children.

617
00:22:27,605 --> 00:22:29,765
It could be an image thing that's very

618
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:30,265
much,

619
00:22:31,605 --> 00:22:32,984
present in Asian culture.

620
00:22:33,445 --> 00:22:34,265
And it also

621
00:22:34,565 --> 00:22:36,505
can be a way of, like, living vicariously

622
00:22:36,805 --> 00:22:38,565
through their their kids, all the things that

623
00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:41,305
they couldn't do. That is kind of unfair

624
00:22:41,365 --> 00:22:42,184
and difficult.

625
00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:45,140
But a good amount of expectation to say,

626
00:22:45,140 --> 00:22:47,720
you know, I see who you are and,

627
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,660
yeah, you know, and I think that you

628
00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:52,039
can get here because

629
00:22:52,660 --> 00:22:54,119
I have a little bit more,

630
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:56,119
I can see you from the outside.

631
00:22:56,580 --> 00:22:57,960
That that can be good.

632
00:22:58,714 --> 00:23:00,714
Yeah. I think that might in fact be

633
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,654
a universal parental thing,

634
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:04,414
that vicaria,

635
00:23:05,595 --> 00:23:06,095
perhaps.

636
00:23:06,394 --> 00:23:06,894
Mhmm.

637
00:23:07,195 --> 00:23:09,035
I think we see that a lot here

638
00:23:09,035 --> 00:23:09,855
as well.

639
00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:11,690
We can't

640
00:23:12,410 --> 00:23:14,250
we we can't help it, I think. People

641
00:23:14,250 --> 00:23:15,150
can't help it.

642
00:23:16,009 --> 00:23:17,150
Yeah. Do you have children?

643
00:23:18,410 --> 00:23:20,970
No. No. Okay. I didn't think so, but

644
00:23:20,970 --> 00:23:22,430
I couldn't quite remember.

645
00:23:22,809 --> 00:23:23,309
Yeah.

646
00:23:23,634 --> 00:23:24,134
Yeah.

647
00:23:24,515 --> 00:23:27,394
What brought you to France? Was that the

648
00:23:27,394 --> 00:23:28,855
marriage or was that

649
00:23:29,315 --> 00:23:30,375
a leap of faith

650
00:23:30,755 --> 00:23:33,414
or both? It was it was the marriage.

651
00:23:33,714 --> 00:23:35,554
It was I was living in New York

652
00:23:35,554 --> 00:23:37,575
when right before we got married.

653
00:23:37,940 --> 00:23:39,380
And then I'm I was gonna stay in

654
00:23:39,380 --> 00:23:40,440
New York actually.

655
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:44,019
And, and then we decided to get married

656
00:23:44,019 --> 00:23:45,480
and I moved to France.

657
00:23:46,420 --> 00:23:48,519
Is it hard to be a global citizen

658
00:23:48,740 --> 00:23:51,319
given the state and nature of

659
00:23:51,859 --> 00:23:52,599
the world

660
00:23:52,914 --> 00:23:55,255
at large these days with all the restrictions

661
00:23:55,555 --> 00:23:56,775
and the concerns

662
00:23:57,154 --> 00:23:57,815
and the

663
00:23:59,875 --> 00:24:00,454
the xenophobia.

664
00:24:00,914 --> 00:24:02,835
I'm just gonna throw that word out there.

665
00:24:02,835 --> 00:24:03,335
Yeah.

666
00:24:04,275 --> 00:24:04,775
Yes.

667
00:24:05,315 --> 00:24:06,295
Yes and no.

668
00:24:06,940 --> 00:24:08,240
You get used to it.

669
00:24:09,019 --> 00:24:12,220
With age, it gets a little heavier because

670
00:24:12,220 --> 00:24:14,720
you have a hankering for home,

671
00:24:15,660 --> 00:24:18,859
you know, with, with time, over time. I

672
00:24:18,859 --> 00:24:21,924
feel like life is a journey home And

673
00:24:21,924 --> 00:24:24,105
that, that idea becomes

674
00:24:24,644 --> 00:24:26,964
stronger and stronger inside of you as time

675
00:24:26,964 --> 00:24:29,305
goes by, inside of me at least.

676
00:24:29,765 --> 00:24:31,705
And home is not a place,

677
00:24:32,325 --> 00:24:32,825
but

678
00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:34,265
we can

679
00:24:35,045 --> 00:24:37,369
confuse it for a place, know, because we're

680
00:24:37,369 --> 00:24:39,549
looking for it in, in many different places,

681
00:24:40,329 --> 00:24:43,130
in many different ways. Right? So a sense

682
00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:45,929
of belonging, a sense of not feeling like

683
00:24:45,929 --> 00:24:46,429
we're,

684
00:24:47,769 --> 00:24:48,909
we're a foreigner,

685
00:24:49,585 --> 00:24:51,525
you know, that can

686
00:24:52,144 --> 00:24:54,785
be difficult sometimes. In France, it is difficult

687
00:24:54,785 --> 00:24:56,244
for me in Paris because

688
00:24:56,945 --> 00:24:58,705
I have an accent when I speak that

689
00:24:58,705 --> 00:24:59,605
is very,

690
00:24:59,985 --> 00:25:00,644
you know,

691
00:25:01,265 --> 00:25:02,244
obvious. So,

692
00:25:02,619 --> 00:25:05,019
and also France is still a little bit

693
00:25:05,019 --> 00:25:06,159
behind in

694
00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:08,779
the, you look, you know, because of your

695
00:25:08,779 --> 00:25:10,940
skin color, and then you have an accent

696
00:25:10,940 --> 00:25:13,980
and immediately you're a foreigner and it's, and

697
00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:14,720
they can't

698
00:25:15,315 --> 00:25:17,414
not talk, not point it out to you.

699
00:25:18,034 --> 00:25:19,494
And I think it's very

700
00:25:20,115 --> 00:25:21,815
kind of normal, you know,

701
00:25:23,075 --> 00:25:23,815
it's natural.

702
00:25:24,115 --> 00:25:26,534
I think human beings are naturally that way,

703
00:25:26,835 --> 00:25:28,294
but it can get tiring

704
00:25:28,750 --> 00:25:31,009
because you do want to just blend in

705
00:25:31,470 --> 00:25:32,849
and fit in and belong.

706
00:25:33,470 --> 00:25:36,109
And, you know, after so many years. I

707
00:25:36,109 --> 00:25:37,390
lived in New York for two and a

708
00:25:37,390 --> 00:25:40,349
half years and I'd never felt that. Nobody

709
00:25:40,349 --> 00:25:42,865
ever, you know, they nobody ever made me

710
00:25:42,865 --> 00:25:44,724
feel like I was a foreigner.

711
00:25:45,424 --> 00:25:46,644
And I loved that.

712
00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:49,345
I loved it. Like, it didn't matter what

713
00:25:49,345 --> 00:25:52,465
accent I had or or how I grew

714
00:25:52,465 --> 00:25:54,644
up or what I looked like. You know?

715
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,059
I love that

716
00:25:56,919 --> 00:25:58,140
about America, actually.

717
00:25:58,599 --> 00:25:59,740
I think there's

718
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,500
a big melting pot

719
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,179
here and

720
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,500
there are, you know, for

721
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,184
most days as a foreigner, I didn't feel

722
00:26:09,184 --> 00:26:09,684
that,

723
00:26:10,305 --> 00:26:13,924
that difference. I did, like in certain instances,

724
00:26:14,945 --> 00:26:16,805
in a very pronounced way.

725
00:26:17,585 --> 00:26:20,325
But it was exceptional, you know? Like,

726
00:26:21,009 --> 00:26:23,250
yeah. It was Yeah. Exception to the yeah.

727
00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:25,089
To the world. Exceptional. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

728
00:26:25,089 --> 00:26:27,890
Sorry. Not in the exceptional, like, exceptional. An

729
00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:30,130
exception to the world. Yeah. Same thing. No.

730
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:31,589
I mean, you're right both ways.

731
00:26:31,970 --> 00:26:34,150
That's really interesting. I think it is

732
00:26:34,769 --> 00:26:35,269
frustrating

733
00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:36,470
that

734
00:26:37,035 --> 00:26:39,855
humans don't tend to see human first.

735
00:26:40,394 --> 00:26:43,215
They find whatever difference and or similarity

736
00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:47,355
they can connect to. Yes. Yes. And what's

737
00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:49,930
ironic about that, of course, is the one

738
00:26:49,930 --> 00:26:51,869
thing we all have in common

739
00:26:52,330 --> 00:26:53,390
is that we're human.

740
00:26:53,930 --> 00:26:56,330
But that's not what we do. Right? Our

741
00:26:56,330 --> 00:26:58,490
ego or whatever it is that's leading us

742
00:26:58,490 --> 00:26:59,309
by the nose

743
00:26:59,769 --> 00:27:02,809
decides to Yeah. Pick out the other stuff

744
00:27:02,809 --> 00:27:03,309
first.

745
00:27:04,005 --> 00:27:06,585
I have a feeling that that's about safety,

746
00:27:06,884 --> 00:27:07,545
you know?

747
00:27:08,005 --> 00:27:09,625
It's that we feel safer,

748
00:27:11,525 --> 00:27:12,904
in more in the immediate,

749
00:27:13,605 --> 00:27:16,005
in the immediate. We feel safer with people

750
00:27:16,005 --> 00:27:18,829
who look like us, who resemble us.

751
00:27:19,369 --> 00:27:21,849
We feel like that's, what's the safest, that's

752
00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:24,650
the safest, you know? It depends how we've

753
00:27:24,650 --> 00:27:26,650
grown up as well. It depends what people

754
00:27:26,650 --> 00:27:28,910
have told us. You know, I feel like,

755
00:27:29,529 --> 00:27:31,130
a lot of I have I was just

756
00:27:31,130 --> 00:27:32,730
telling Jake the other day, I have a

757
00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:34,964
friend who's a kindergarten teacher

758
00:27:35,505 --> 00:27:38,224
and she's Canadian Chinese and she teaches in

759
00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:40,625
France. And it was Chinese New Year, the

760
00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:43,605
Lunar New Year. And she wrote in Chinese

761
00:27:43,664 --> 00:27:45,684
on the board, in Mandarin on the board.

762
00:27:45,849 --> 00:27:47,950
And then, and she taught them how to

763
00:27:48,169 --> 00:27:50,349
say happy Chinese New Year in Mandarin.

764
00:27:51,049 --> 00:27:53,129
And they were so excited because the kids,

765
00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:55,049
I think they were like, what, 4 or

766
00:27:55,049 --> 00:27:55,549
something?

767
00:27:56,409 --> 00:27:58,089
And they were like, how do you know

768
00:27:58,089 --> 00:28:00,015
how to do this? And she said, well,

769
00:28:00,015 --> 00:28:01,695
I'm Chinese. And they were like, what do

770
00:28:01,695 --> 00:28:02,355
you mean?

771
00:28:02,734 --> 00:28:04,595
Like, what are you how are you Chinese?

772
00:28:05,295 --> 00:28:07,535
You know, and because they couldn't they didn't

773
00:28:07,535 --> 00:28:08,195
look at

774
00:28:08,575 --> 00:28:10,174
her face. They didn't look at her skin

775
00:28:10,174 --> 00:28:13,539
color, her features. It didn't make, you know?

776
00:28:13,599 --> 00:28:15,299
And I was like, isn't that incredible?

777
00:28:15,679 --> 00:28:17,839
You have to be taught these differences. I

778
00:28:17,839 --> 00:28:20,480
love those videos of the little best friend

779
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:20,980
kids,

780
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,679
and they'll be side by side, you know,

781
00:28:23,679 --> 00:28:24,179
one

782
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,200
black child, one white child. They're they're sitting,

783
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,134
and the interviewer

784
00:28:29,755 --> 00:28:32,394
says, how are you different? And the first

785
00:28:32,394 --> 00:28:34,474
thing they say is, oh, he likes bananas,

786
00:28:34,474 --> 00:28:37,195
and I don't like bananas. Or it'll be

787
00:28:37,195 --> 00:28:39,275
a kid in a wheelchair and a kid

788
00:28:39,275 --> 00:28:40,095
that is,

789
00:28:40,394 --> 00:28:41,375
not in a wheelchair,

790
00:28:41,914 --> 00:28:44,589
and they'll say, how are you the same?

791
00:28:44,589 --> 00:28:46,829
How are you different? And it's never about

792
00:28:46,829 --> 00:28:48,990
the thing that you would think it would

793
00:28:48,990 --> 00:28:51,490
be about. Because to your point,

794
00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:54,690
they don't see things in that context.

795
00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:58,190
Yeah. Yeah. And we forget that we learned

796
00:28:58,190 --> 00:29:00,505
this. We do. You know, and to

797
00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:03,765
what a shame that we learned this. What

798
00:29:03,765 --> 00:29:06,005
a shame that it was put into us.

799
00:29:06,005 --> 00:29:08,164
It does break my heart. Right? And such

800
00:29:08,164 --> 00:29:09,464
a waste of time

801
00:29:09,924 --> 00:29:12,904
because there's so much time in life to,

802
00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:16,960
actually to to to experience its beauty

803
00:29:17,259 --> 00:29:19,440
and that and to experience connection.

804
00:29:20,380 --> 00:29:23,119
And we take time away from that connection

805
00:29:24,059 --> 00:29:26,460
when when we are taught these things, you

806
00:29:26,460 --> 00:29:28,515
know, it it we have so many missed

807
00:29:28,755 --> 00:29:29,255
opportunities,

808
00:29:30,355 --> 00:29:33,414
and that's just so that's such a tragedy

809
00:29:33,555 --> 00:29:35,634
somehow. It is a tragedy, and it's to

810
00:29:35,634 --> 00:29:36,134
ourselves

811
00:29:36,595 --> 00:29:38,295
as well, the things that

812
00:29:38,755 --> 00:29:40,994
we compare and contrast. And I know I

813
00:29:40,994 --> 00:29:43,009
do it, where I think, oh, why am

814
00:29:43,009 --> 00:29:44,869
I not good at this? Or why

815
00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:47,569
why can't I do this? Whatever it is,

816
00:29:47,569 --> 00:29:49,429
we do it to ourselves too.

817
00:29:50,450 --> 00:29:52,069
And that creates a separation.

818
00:29:53,410 --> 00:29:55,589
And I would go back again to childhood

819
00:29:55,650 --> 00:29:57,894
where somebody has to teach you to

820
00:29:58,674 --> 00:30:00,775
have fear and self loathing

821
00:30:01,154 --> 00:30:03,494
and doubts, as you said, limitations.

822
00:30:04,115 --> 00:30:04,615
Yeah.

823
00:30:04,994 --> 00:30:05,494
Yeah.

824
00:30:05,795 --> 00:30:06,694
Yeah. Absolutely.

825
00:30:07,154 --> 00:30:09,095
Because kids are fearless in general.

826
00:30:09,580 --> 00:30:12,140
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're all like, like

827
00:30:12,140 --> 00:30:15,660
intrepid and, intrepid and fearless and we don't

828
00:30:15,660 --> 00:30:19,180
know better than, you know, we just go,

829
00:30:19,180 --> 00:30:21,420
go into it. Like, I, I think about,

830
00:30:21,740 --> 00:30:23,954
starting a business And when I started my

831
00:30:23,954 --> 00:30:26,295
business, I did a lot of things that

832
00:30:26,515 --> 00:30:28,055
a lot of people wouldn't have done,

833
00:30:29,154 --> 00:30:29,654
because

834
00:30:30,035 --> 00:30:32,194
they were taught not to. And I did

835
00:30:32,194 --> 00:30:33,974
it because I didn't know that we couldn't,

836
00:30:34,355 --> 00:30:36,595
and we shouldn't, or something. And some of

837
00:30:36,595 --> 00:30:38,535
those things worked out really well.

838
00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:40,029
And some of those

839
00:30:40,569 --> 00:30:42,429
things didn't work out. But,

840
00:30:42,730 --> 00:30:44,329
you know, I wouldn't have done the things

841
00:30:44,329 --> 00:30:46,809
that worked well if I was, if I

842
00:30:46,809 --> 00:30:48,890
list people who told me, well, you know,

843
00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:49,950
you don't do that.

844
00:30:50,650 --> 00:30:53,734
And isn't that, I mean, it's good to

845
00:30:53,734 --> 00:30:55,674
be, to not know everything.

846
00:30:56,214 --> 00:30:56,714
Yeah.

847
00:30:57,494 --> 00:31:00,714
Right? Like, we strive to know everything

848
00:31:01,095 --> 00:31:02,714
because we feel safer.

849
00:31:03,575 --> 00:31:06,309
I am very much like that. I really

850
00:31:06,690 --> 00:31:08,609
I try not to be, you know, that's

851
00:31:08,609 --> 00:31:10,369
one of the things that I'm working on.

852
00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:13,250
Like, it's this false sense of control, right?

853
00:31:13,250 --> 00:31:13,750
Like,

854
00:31:14,049 --> 00:31:15,190
we try to control

855
00:31:16,609 --> 00:31:18,369
the situation, so that we can try to

856
00:31:18,369 --> 00:31:20,115
control an outcome, so that we can be

857
00:31:20,115 --> 00:31:21,414
safe and we can prevent

858
00:31:23,474 --> 00:31:23,974
pain.

859
00:31:24,355 --> 00:31:26,434
And, yeah, I'm learning more and more that

860
00:31:26,434 --> 00:31:27,654
pain is,

861
00:31:28,755 --> 00:31:29,494
can be

862
00:31:30,994 --> 00:31:31,894
a guide

863
00:31:33,170 --> 00:31:34,789
and a gift, and

864
00:31:35,250 --> 00:31:37,329
it is the point it can be that

865
00:31:37,329 --> 00:31:40,309
point beyond our imagination that takes us

866
00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:43,890
to the place that we didn't know we

867
00:31:43,890 --> 00:31:44,630
could go.

868
00:31:45,170 --> 00:31:45,670
Yeah.

869
00:31:47,054 --> 00:31:48,434
It's scary though.

870
00:31:49,615 --> 00:31:50,674
Oh, absolutely.

871
00:31:51,454 --> 00:31:52,194
It is

872
00:31:52,734 --> 00:31:53,954
tricky to override

873
00:31:54,335 --> 00:31:55,154
those things.

874
00:31:55,534 --> 00:31:58,255
And again, fear takes forms all sorts of

875
00:31:58,255 --> 00:31:59,794
ways. Right? Hate, doubt,

876
00:32:00,179 --> 00:32:00,919
self abuse,

877
00:32:01,379 --> 00:32:01,879
obsession.

878
00:32:03,299 --> 00:32:04,200
Yeah. Overwork,

879
00:32:04,579 --> 00:32:05,079
overrunning,

880
00:32:05,539 --> 00:32:06,359
over exercising,

881
00:32:06,980 --> 00:32:08,519
overeating, under eating.

882
00:32:09,220 --> 00:32:11,779
I mean, there's just so many things that

883
00:32:11,779 --> 00:32:13,079
it can look like.

884
00:32:13,684 --> 00:32:15,065
Yeah. Self abnegation.

885
00:32:15,765 --> 00:32:17,565
Is that a word? Is that I I

886
00:32:17,605 --> 00:32:18,345
my vocabulary

887
00:32:18,724 --> 00:32:20,804
is a little mixed up from the How

888
00:32:20,804 --> 00:32:22,404
do you speak? How many languages do you

889
00:32:22,404 --> 00:32:22,904
speak?

890
00:32:24,325 --> 00:32:24,825
4.

891
00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:26,825
Yeah. I think you're doing fine.

892
00:32:27,700 --> 00:32:30,019
It becomes like a like one of those

893
00:32:30,019 --> 00:32:32,740
alphabet soups sometimes, you know, and it's like

894
00:32:32,740 --> 00:32:34,900
some words that work really well in certain

895
00:32:34,900 --> 00:32:36,980
language, and then it doesn't, like, when it

896
00:32:36,980 --> 00:32:38,820
becomes I'm speaking, like, a little bit of

897
00:32:38,820 --> 00:32:41,460
Franglish now. It's like, I didn't realize that

898
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,000
it would happen to me until

899
00:32:43,555 --> 00:32:44,775
until I met Jake.

900
00:32:45,075 --> 00:32:47,234
And this is the most English I've spoken

901
00:32:47,234 --> 00:32:48,755
for a couple of years, and I was

902
00:32:48,755 --> 00:32:51,494
like, wow, my English has gotten really weird.

903
00:32:52,914 --> 00:32:54,994
But, yeah, you know, we deny ourselves things,

904
00:32:54,994 --> 00:32:56,835
that's what I wanna say, like, you know,

905
00:32:56,835 --> 00:32:58,214
Yeah. Because of fear.

906
00:32:58,819 --> 00:32:59,319
Sure.

907
00:32:59,779 --> 00:33:02,099
I'm curious. I love asking this question of

908
00:33:02,099 --> 00:33:03,880
people that speak many languages.

909
00:33:04,980 --> 00:33:07,380
What language do you dream in? And does

910
00:33:07,380 --> 00:33:09,859
it does it change around? Or is it

911
00:33:09,859 --> 00:33:11,480
constantly the same language?

912
00:33:12,535 --> 00:33:14,154
I think I dream in English.

913
00:33:15,654 --> 00:33:18,474
Yeah. I have a very strong relationship

914
00:33:18,775 --> 00:33:19,595
with English.

915
00:33:21,095 --> 00:33:21,595
Because

916
00:33:21,894 --> 00:33:22,394
I,

917
00:33:23,255 --> 00:33:23,815
I, I was

918
00:33:24,750 --> 00:33:26,990
because reading kind of saved me when I

919
00:33:26,990 --> 00:33:27,730
was a kid.

920
00:33:28,109 --> 00:33:29,950
And so it was my first you know,

921
00:33:29,950 --> 00:33:30,450
it's

922
00:33:31,070 --> 00:33:33,390
that first experience of reading a book and

923
00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:35,630
feeling like you would never be alone in

924
00:33:35,630 --> 00:33:36,289
the world

925
00:33:36,750 --> 00:33:37,970
because you have a book.

926
00:33:39,345 --> 00:33:40,724
And, or you've read something

927
00:33:41,025 --> 00:33:42,565
that you've always felt,

928
00:33:43,105 --> 00:33:44,945
you know, but you couldn't put your words

929
00:33:44,945 --> 00:33:45,445
to,

930
00:33:45,825 --> 00:33:46,325
and

931
00:33:46,865 --> 00:33:49,204
suddenly the whole world felt safer.

932
00:33:49,904 --> 00:33:51,525
Yeah. So that,

933
00:33:51,889 --> 00:33:55,009
I had that feeling very much when I

934
00:33:55,009 --> 00:33:57,649
was a child from reading English books. And

935
00:33:57,649 --> 00:33:57,809
so

936
00:33:58,450 --> 00:33:59,909
and then I was writing,

937
00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:03,329
a bit, and I have a very kind

938
00:34:03,329 --> 00:34:05,409
of relationship with writing too. So that was

939
00:34:05,569 --> 00:34:07,484
I think that's why, because the language so

940
00:34:07,484 --> 00:34:08,224
important to

941
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,385
me. It was always English.

942
00:34:11,244 --> 00:34:11,744
Yeah.

943
00:34:12,284 --> 00:34:14,684
It's interesting. The universal language of dreams. It

944
00:34:14,684 --> 00:34:15,905
is a curious thing.

945
00:34:17,164 --> 00:34:18,704
What do you do for a living?

946
00:34:19,324 --> 00:34:21,425
Well, I'm about to start a new job

947
00:34:21,565 --> 00:34:22,385
next week.

948
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,679
So I've been in the past 5 years,

949
00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:28,960
I've been basically like a brand manager for

950
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,140
a for a company, a leather goods company.

951
00:34:31,599 --> 00:34:32,340
I've done

952
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,119
a bunch of different things. And, but right

953
00:34:35,119 --> 00:34:37,934
now, so I'm about to to go work

954
00:34:37,934 --> 00:34:39,954
for a woman who's, who has,

955
00:34:41,695 --> 00:34:44,015
who's a, who has a grocer, like a

956
00:34:44,015 --> 00:34:44,515
grocery

957
00:34:44,894 --> 00:34:47,695
store, like in, in Paris and, and she's

958
00:34:47,695 --> 00:34:49,614
had it for 20 years and now she

959
00:34:49,614 --> 00:34:52,015
wants to develop it. And so we're going

960
00:34:52,015 --> 00:34:52,515
to,

961
00:34:52,940 --> 00:34:55,579
so I'm her what she calls her Swiss

962
00:34:55,579 --> 00:34:58,860
army knife, like her right hand person. So

963
00:34:58,860 --> 00:35:01,820
we're gonna develop the business together. I'm going

964
00:35:01,820 --> 00:35:03,980
to assist her in that, and we're coming

965
00:35:03,980 --> 00:35:06,464
up with a line of food, like pantry

966
00:35:06,764 --> 00:35:08,545
food, like dry goods,

967
00:35:09,724 --> 00:35:12,625
that is sourced in in the purest places

968
00:35:12,684 --> 00:35:15,505
in the world. And so it's beyond organic.

969
00:35:15,565 --> 00:35:18,364
It's also how where it's grown and how

970
00:35:18,364 --> 00:35:19,800
it's grown and by who,

971
00:35:20,199 --> 00:35:23,179
you know, by whom? It's grown and Yeah.

972
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,059
Yeah, by whom it's grown. And

973
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,400
we're doing a little tea bar and the

974
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,739
coffee shop and like, you know,

975
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:32,860
in

976
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,739
Saint Germain des Prays in Paris. And

977
00:35:36,494 --> 00:35:38,974
that's gonna be really exciting. It's totally new

978
00:35:38,974 --> 00:35:40,994
thing for me, but I I love

979
00:35:41,375 --> 00:35:42,434
I'm a big foodie.

980
00:35:42,734 --> 00:35:44,494
You know, I I love food. I love

981
00:35:44,494 --> 00:35:47,154
feeding people. I love You're a good cook.

982
00:35:48,460 --> 00:35:48,960
Thanks.

983
00:35:49,260 --> 00:35:50,480
Yeah. Yeah.

984
00:35:50,780 --> 00:35:52,619
I I I try. I love it. I

985
00:35:52,619 --> 00:35:54,699
just love I know I love shopping for

986
00:35:54,699 --> 00:35:56,960
food. I love markets. I love,

987
00:35:57,340 --> 00:35:59,840
it's a big part of my culture. Malaysian

988
00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:02,295
culture is about food. It's about love is

989
00:36:02,295 --> 00:36:03,994
shown through feeding people.

990
00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:06,135
And, you know, the question is, have you

991
00:36:06,135 --> 00:36:08,695
eaten, you know, all the time, all throughout

992
00:36:08,695 --> 00:36:11,414
the day? And we, and we, we talk

993
00:36:11,414 --> 00:36:13,974
about dinner during lunch and, you know, and

994
00:36:13,974 --> 00:36:16,739
lunch during breakfast. And it's such a huge

995
00:36:16,739 --> 00:36:18,500
part of my culture. And the older I

996
00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:20,900
get, the more I'm in, I'm becoming that,

997
00:36:20,900 --> 00:36:21,559
you know,

998
00:36:22,019 --> 00:36:24,579
that like in my culture, like the auntie

999
00:36:24,579 --> 00:36:26,360
who, who feeds people,

1000
00:36:27,860 --> 00:36:30,255
you know, packs stuff for you in Tupperwares,

1001
00:36:30,554 --> 00:36:32,875
you know, that, that woman that I'm becoming

1002
00:36:32,875 --> 00:36:35,054
that woman. Oh my God. That's great.

1003
00:36:35,514 --> 00:36:37,534
But, yeah. So I love that.

1004
00:36:38,235 --> 00:36:39,835
I love this new job where I can

1005
00:36:39,835 --> 00:36:42,074
just fully obsess. I've been reading like Ruth

1006
00:36:42,074 --> 00:36:42,574
Reichl

1007
00:36:43,409 --> 00:36:45,969
and and Nigel Slater, like, all through summer

1008
00:36:45,969 --> 00:36:46,369
and

1009
00:36:46,769 --> 00:36:49,250
As a person who, for lunch, had a

1010
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:50,630
scoop of almond butter,

1011
00:36:51,089 --> 00:36:52,069
a bunch of,

1012
00:36:52,449 --> 00:36:55,190
Persian cucumbers and rice wine, and

1013
00:36:55,674 --> 00:36:56,974
a bite of,

1014
00:36:57,594 --> 00:36:59,594
sorry, no. I have, like, 7 snap peas.

1015
00:36:59,594 --> 00:37:01,355
So I need somebody like this in my

1016
00:37:01,355 --> 00:37:01,855
life.

1017
00:37:02,234 --> 00:37:04,474
Oh, I wish if I lived here, you

1018
00:37:04,474 --> 00:37:07,034
would be fed all the time. Guys. You

1019
00:37:07,034 --> 00:37:08,174
have a Jake diet.

1020
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,079
He has the same, like, the scoop of

1021
00:37:10,079 --> 00:37:12,099
peanut butter or almond butter, you know?

1022
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,799
Same and then, like, whatever you want. Jake's

1023
00:37:15,279 --> 00:37:17,760
I teased Jake horrendously when the first time

1024
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,839
I went to his apartment. I opened the

1025
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,440
I'm sure he told you this. I opened

1026
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:22,099
the refrigerator.

1027
00:37:23,164 --> 00:37:24,304
I was like, Jake,

1028
00:37:24,844 --> 00:37:27,244
I'm bad, but this is horrendous. It was

1029
00:37:27,244 --> 00:37:29,804
just a, like, hot sauce, a ketchup, and

1030
00:37:29,804 --> 00:37:30,625
some of those

1031
00:37:30,925 --> 00:37:33,885
takeout packets of soy sauce. I was like,

1032
00:37:33,885 --> 00:37:34,956
what are you eating, dude? Yeah. I know.

1033
00:37:34,956 --> 00:37:36,690
I thought I wanted to think of grapes.

1034
00:37:36,929 --> 00:37:38,869
Like, what are you eating, dude? Yeah.

1035
00:37:39,889 --> 00:37:41,730
I know. I was like, what is this?

1036
00:37:41,730 --> 00:37:43,250
And his fridge is so big. I have,

1037
00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:45,010
like, a tiny fridge. I'm like, we need

1038
00:37:45,010 --> 00:37:47,089
to swap bridges. We need to swap kitchens.

1039
00:37:47,089 --> 00:37:48,630
My fridge is tiny too.

1040
00:37:49,454 --> 00:37:50,675
Do you have

1041
00:37:51,775 --> 00:37:52,994
a sense of spirituality

1042
00:37:53,454 --> 00:37:55,775
as a person who grew up surrounded by

1043
00:37:55,775 --> 00:37:57,474
so many different cultures and religions?

1044
00:37:58,414 --> 00:37:58,914
Yes.

1045
00:37:59,295 --> 00:37:59,795
I,

1046
00:38:00,414 --> 00:38:02,595
I don't, I have a very,

1047
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:05,250
I

1048
00:38:05,590 --> 00:38:06,090
have,

1049
00:38:06,430 --> 00:38:07,970
I think an unshakable

1050
00:38:09,470 --> 00:38:09,970
awareness

1051
00:38:10,349 --> 00:38:12,530
of the God shaped void.

1052
00:38:13,470 --> 00:38:14,210
You know,

1053
00:38:14,670 --> 00:38:16,210
I, I'm not religious.

1054
00:38:16,594 --> 00:38:17,255
I have

1055
00:38:17,714 --> 00:38:21,234
a very fraught relationship with religion because of

1056
00:38:21,234 --> 00:38:22,934
how it went down in my family.

1057
00:38:23,554 --> 00:38:25,014
I take issue with

1058
00:38:25,795 --> 00:38:26,674
the lack of,

1059
00:38:28,434 --> 00:38:28,934
tolerance

1060
00:38:29,690 --> 00:38:30,349
and inclusion

1061
00:38:31,530 --> 00:38:32,829
and fear mongering,

1062
00:38:33,369 --> 00:38:36,110
you know? And I know that not everybody

1063
00:38:36,809 --> 00:38:37,710
in that religion

1064
00:38:38,490 --> 00:38:40,269
is that way. And I think

1065
00:38:40,890 --> 00:38:43,470
I've seen how my father has found

1066
00:38:44,015 --> 00:38:46,195
peace and purpose and meaning

1067
00:38:46,494 --> 00:38:49,375
in his religion that I don't like very

1068
00:38:49,375 --> 00:38:50,434
much, but I,

1069
00:38:51,215 --> 00:38:53,215
I, you know, I accept it for that

1070
00:38:53,215 --> 00:38:56,335
and I appreciate it for that. But, for

1071
00:38:56,335 --> 00:38:56,835
myself,

1072
00:38:57,135 --> 00:38:59,635
yeah, I feel that. I feel the void.

1073
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:00,299
I feel,

1074
00:39:01,159 --> 00:39:02,859
I feel a sense of the divine

1075
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,260
that is, you know,

1076
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:06,619
that is in,

1077
00:39:07,639 --> 00:39:09,099
I don't know, in

1078
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:09,900
people

1079
00:39:11,159 --> 00:39:12,299
and in nature

1080
00:39:13,355 --> 00:39:15,214
and in the moments

1081
00:39:15,514 --> 00:39:17,295
of, that you can have

1082
00:39:17,835 --> 00:39:18,894
between humans,

1083
00:39:20,795 --> 00:39:22,494
between humans and animals,

1084
00:39:23,355 --> 00:39:24,815
between humans and

1085
00:39:25,275 --> 00:39:26,094
the environment.

1086
00:39:27,890 --> 00:39:29,510
I guess that's my spirituality.

1087
00:39:30,610 --> 00:39:32,130
Though we were just joking that if Rick

1088
00:39:32,130 --> 00:39:34,150
Rubin started a cult, I would join it.

1089
00:39:34,690 --> 00:39:36,469
Yeah. He's a deep philosopher

1090
00:39:36,769 --> 00:39:39,250
for sure. Yeah. He watched a lot of

1091
00:39:39,250 --> 00:39:40,949
his videos where he's pontificating

1092
00:39:41,650 --> 00:39:44,005
about the nature of the universe. This is

1093
00:39:44,005 --> 00:39:45,224
an interesting person.

1094
00:39:47,204 --> 00:39:48,984
Yes. Wonderful. Yeah. Really interesting.

1095
00:39:49,364 --> 00:39:50,905
And he I feel like he's

1096
00:39:51,204 --> 00:39:51,704
really

1097
00:39:52,565 --> 00:39:53,065
calibrated,

1098
00:39:54,405 --> 00:39:55,945
you know, in the best way,

1099
00:39:57,619 --> 00:39:58,280
his listening

1100
00:39:59,539 --> 00:40:00,760
and his observation

1101
00:40:01,780 --> 00:40:02,840
and his speaking,

1102
00:40:03,940 --> 00:40:04,440
it's

1103
00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:07,719
he almost just he listens and hears

1104
00:40:08,019 --> 00:40:09,000
and understands,

1105
00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:13,335
yeah, with with the the kind of attention

1106
00:40:13,394 --> 00:40:13,894
that

1107
00:40:14,594 --> 00:40:16,674
that we should always strive to have, I

1108
00:40:16,674 --> 00:40:17,174
think,

1109
00:40:17,634 --> 00:40:20,194
and and speaks also with that. And there's

1110
00:40:20,194 --> 00:40:21,014
something really

1111
00:40:21,394 --> 00:40:23,494
magical, like really precious about that.

1112
00:40:23,875 --> 00:40:24,614
I agree.

1113
00:40:26,030 --> 00:40:27,889
Yeah. It's a the art,

1114
00:40:28,190 --> 00:40:30,510
the true art of listening, I think is

1115
00:40:30,510 --> 00:40:31,010
a

1116
00:40:31,789 --> 00:40:35,329
duality that is both everything matters, nothing matters,

1117
00:40:36,510 --> 00:40:37,010
and

1118
00:40:37,469 --> 00:40:39,570
I'm not important in this moment,

1119
00:40:40,474 --> 00:40:41,614
but I am

1120
00:40:41,914 --> 00:40:42,414
you

1121
00:40:43,195 --> 00:40:43,934
as well.

1122
00:40:45,275 --> 00:40:47,594
Yeah. Which is like a weird combo, right?

1123
00:40:47,594 --> 00:40:49,215
If you're if you're speaking,

1124
00:40:49,994 --> 00:40:52,635
I'm not important, but I also have the

1125
00:40:52,635 --> 00:40:54,894
ability to see myself in you.

1126
00:40:55,289 --> 00:40:57,550
Therefore, there's this communion happening,

1127
00:40:58,250 --> 00:41:00,890
but also a sense of I don't matter

1128
00:41:00,890 --> 00:41:02,429
in in your your

1129
00:41:02,809 --> 00:41:05,050
your the one voicing that part of me

1130
00:41:05,050 --> 00:41:06,890
right now. I don't know if I'm I

1131
00:41:06,890 --> 00:41:08,190
don't know if I'm explaining it or not.

1132
00:41:08,190 --> 00:41:08,570
It totally

1133
00:41:09,244 --> 00:41:11,005
it makes sense, and I can see it

1134
00:41:11,005 --> 00:41:13,324
in your podcast. I can see that you

1135
00:41:13,324 --> 00:41:15,644
do that in your podcast. And I think

1136
00:41:15,644 --> 00:41:16,545
there is also

1137
00:41:16,925 --> 00:41:18,864
I see you also doing,

1138
00:41:19,485 --> 00:41:20,625
being that person,

1139
00:41:21,005 --> 00:41:22,304
you know, seeing

1140
00:41:23,909 --> 00:41:26,489
because that's also a good listener, to listen

1141
00:41:27,190 --> 00:41:28,650
and try to understand

1142
00:41:29,269 --> 00:41:29,769
from

1143
00:41:30,150 --> 00:41:30,889
the perspective

1144
00:41:31,269 --> 00:41:33,289
and the context of that person.

1145
00:41:34,309 --> 00:41:34,809
And

1146
00:41:35,775 --> 00:41:38,014
then that's when you it takes you outside

1147
00:41:38,014 --> 00:41:40,194
of yourself, and you and that's real curiosity

1148
00:41:40,494 --> 00:41:40,994
too.

1149
00:41:41,534 --> 00:41:43,694
Yeah. How, you know Thank you. Not to

1150
00:41:43,694 --> 00:41:45,155
take that compliment too.

1151
00:41:46,175 --> 00:41:47,875
You're so nice to me.

1152
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:51,559
We didn't mention the name of the store

1153
00:41:51,699 --> 00:41:53,079
that the grocery store.

1154
00:41:54,019 --> 00:41:55,079
It's called Hedoni.

1155
00:41:55,780 --> 00:41:58,679
Hedoni, like, h e with an accent,

1156
00:41:59,139 --> 00:42:00,675
d o n I e.

1157
00:42:01,155 --> 00:42:03,175
But I, but I guess it has,

1158
00:42:04,914 --> 00:42:07,315
a tie to, like, he he

1159
00:42:07,715 --> 00:42:08,215
hedonist.

1160
00:42:08,515 --> 00:42:09,954
That's where my brain went. But

1161
00:42:10,755 --> 00:42:12,835
Yeah. Yeah. That's that's where my brain goes.

1162
00:42:12,835 --> 00:42:14,215
I I hope it's not wrong.

1163
00:42:14,914 --> 00:42:17,250
But because I've never asked her actually,

1164
00:42:17,869 --> 00:42:19,710
the owner why, you know, but that's what

1165
00:42:19,710 --> 00:42:23,250
I imagined it's about pleasure. Maybe, you know,

1166
00:42:23,710 --> 00:42:24,769
the French have

1167
00:42:25,469 --> 00:42:26,130
a wonderful

1168
00:42:26,510 --> 00:42:28,750
one of the things I love about living

1169
00:42:28,750 --> 00:42:31,605
in France is this whole idea of the

1170
00:42:31,605 --> 00:42:32,664
savoir vivre,

1171
00:42:34,085 --> 00:42:35,465
the knowing how to live

1172
00:42:35,844 --> 00:42:37,224
and the art of living.

1173
00:42:37,684 --> 00:42:40,005
And part of the art of living is

1174
00:42:40,005 --> 00:42:41,144
to make space

1175
00:42:41,844 --> 00:42:43,465
and time for pleasure

1176
00:42:44,039 --> 00:42:46,539
and to make time, and to allow

1177
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:48,300
time,

1178
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,500
for, you know, to do things with time.

1179
00:42:52,119 --> 00:42:52,619
And

1180
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,380
that's really liberating

1181
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,260
and really nice and kind of, you know,

1182
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,619
it nourishes you.

1183
00:42:59,079 --> 00:43:01,034
But I still, I come from a culture

1184
00:43:01,034 --> 00:43:02,875
where that is just like not done, you

1185
00:43:02,875 --> 00:43:05,994
know, so I, if I, I've been on

1186
00:43:05,994 --> 00:43:08,155
holiday, this is three and a half weeks,

1187
00:43:08,155 --> 00:43:08,655
right?

1188
00:43:09,114 --> 00:43:10,315
And I had to go out and do

1189
00:43:10,315 --> 00:43:12,795
something for work today because my brain was

1190
00:43:12,795 --> 00:43:14,550
going a little bit, like, I was getting,

1191
00:43:14,550 --> 00:43:16,390
like, baby brain, you know, like, it was

1192
00:43:16,390 --> 00:43:17,989
just kinda getting a bit soggy in my

1193
00:43:17,989 --> 00:43:18,809
head. And,

1194
00:43:20,469 --> 00:43:22,489
and also I start feeling a little anxiety.

1195
00:43:24,309 --> 00:43:26,070
It's, you know, not very good at being

1196
00:43:26,070 --> 00:43:26,570
hedonistic.

1197
00:43:28,114 --> 00:43:29,954
But I'm glad you had that break. It's

1198
00:43:29,954 --> 00:43:31,394
nice to have a break like that before

1199
00:43:31,394 --> 00:43:32,534
you go into a new

1200
00:43:33,315 --> 00:43:34,534
job or a new career.

1201
00:43:35,074 --> 00:43:36,994
It's good Oh, yeah. To to Like a

1202
00:43:36,994 --> 00:43:39,894
reset. Yeah. Yeah. It's a definite reset. And

1203
00:43:40,469 --> 00:43:42,070
Jake is such a lovely human. What a

1204
00:43:42,070 --> 00:43:43,929
great person to do that around.

1205
00:43:45,190 --> 00:43:47,349
Yes. Yes. He's a wonderful person to do

1206
00:43:47,349 --> 00:43:48,650
that around. And and,

1207
00:43:49,510 --> 00:43:51,909
yeah, just to and he knows how to

1208
00:43:51,989 --> 00:43:54,469
he's he works really hard and Work really

1209
00:43:54,469 --> 00:43:56,864
hard. He has a fantastic work ethic.

1210
00:43:57,244 --> 00:44:00,065
But he also he's also so much fun,

1211
00:44:00,605 --> 00:44:03,085
you know, and I'm not like, I'm not

1212
00:44:03,085 --> 00:44:05,405
saying this in a self deprecating way, but

1213
00:44:05,405 --> 00:44:07,485
I'm not good at having fun. Like, I'm

1214
00:44:07,485 --> 00:44:09,750
not like a let loose person. Like, I

1215
00:44:09,750 --> 00:44:11,289
don't know, I'm very uncool.

1216
00:44:12,869 --> 00:44:14,710
Like, I'm not like, you know, I don't

1217
00:44:14,710 --> 00:44:16,390
dance, and I don't know how to be

1218
00:44:16,390 --> 00:44:16,890
like,

1219
00:44:17,349 --> 00:44:20,070
over top with things, and, and, you know,

1220
00:44:20,070 --> 00:44:22,565
kind of like, let go and like be

1221
00:44:22,565 --> 00:44:23,065
excessive.

1222
00:44:23,444 --> 00:44:25,525
I am not, I'm very like kind of

1223
00:44:25,525 --> 00:44:27,704
model child type, you know,

1224
00:44:28,324 --> 00:44:30,484
it's just from my childhood, and Jake is

1225
00:44:30,484 --> 00:44:32,804
so much fun. And I love that about

1226
00:44:32,804 --> 00:44:34,820
him. You know. It reminds you that, you

1227
00:44:34,820 --> 00:44:36,179
know, you can have fun and you can

1228
00:44:36,179 --> 00:44:37,880
break some rules and you can,

1229
00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:40,660
you know, do this or do that or,

1230
00:44:40,660 --> 00:44:41,239
you know,

1231
00:44:41,619 --> 00:44:43,860
that's nice. Yeah. That's a good balance. I'd

1232
00:44:43,860 --> 00:44:45,300
love I I know we're running out of

1233
00:44:45,300 --> 00:44:46,980
time. I would love for you to tell

1234
00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:49,164
the story of how you 2 met because

1235
00:44:49,864 --> 00:44:50,764
it's so

1236
00:44:51,144 --> 00:44:51,885
rom com

1237
00:44:53,385 --> 00:44:54,125
to me.

1238
00:44:54,505 --> 00:44:55,085
That was,

1239
00:44:56,264 --> 00:44:58,344
okay. So so I was,

1240
00:44:58,905 --> 00:45:01,144
I met him the first time in Paris.

1241
00:45:01,144 --> 00:45:03,244
I was working in in

1242
00:45:04,380 --> 00:45:05,819
the shop that I was working in my

1243
00:45:05,819 --> 00:45:06,319
shop.

1244
00:45:06,859 --> 00:45:08,460
And I was not supposed to be there

1245
00:45:08,460 --> 00:45:10,299
on that day, actually, because that was not

1246
00:45:10,299 --> 00:45:12,619
my day. On a Saturday I had, you

1247
00:45:12,619 --> 00:45:13,119
know,

1248
00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:15,819
and so I was in there because my

1249
00:45:15,819 --> 00:45:17,679
colleague was off on trip

1250
00:45:18,664 --> 00:45:21,005
and in walks Jake and,

1251
00:45:21,465 --> 00:45:23,405
and Jeff, who he was working with

1252
00:45:23,704 --> 00:45:24,204
then.

1253
00:45:25,224 --> 00:45:27,405
And Jeff was insisting that he should buy

1254
00:45:27,465 --> 00:45:28,445
a bone cover

1255
00:45:29,304 --> 00:45:31,304
for his phone because he has no protection

1256
00:45:31,304 --> 00:45:32,204
on his phone

1257
00:45:33,489 --> 00:45:35,190
and it's a leather goods shop.

1258
00:45:35,650 --> 00:45:37,090
And so he was like, you get a

1259
00:45:37,090 --> 00:45:38,789
leather one because, you know,

1260
00:45:39,090 --> 00:45:39,750
it's better.

1261
00:45:40,050 --> 00:45:40,630
And so

1262
00:45:41,170 --> 00:45:42,070
he's like, okay.

1263
00:45:42,369 --> 00:45:43,970
And he asked me if I have one

1264
00:45:43,970 --> 00:45:45,890
and I had one and he said it,

1265
00:45:45,890 --> 00:45:47,030
he tried it on

1266
00:45:47,434 --> 00:45:49,594
and it was fine. And he was like,

1267
00:45:49,594 --> 00:45:51,195
you know what? I'm not going to use

1268
00:45:51,195 --> 00:45:53,675
this. I'll never use this. You know? And

1269
00:45:53,675 --> 00:45:54,795
I said, well, if you're not going to

1270
00:45:54,795 --> 00:45:56,715
use it, then you shouldn't buy it. And

1271
00:45:56,715 --> 00:45:58,635
so we talk a little bit, you know,

1272
00:45:58,635 --> 00:45:59,135
because,

1273
00:46:00,849 --> 00:46:02,849
yeah, just like that, you know? And then

1274
00:46:02,849 --> 00:46:03,589
they lead.

1275
00:46:04,210 --> 00:46:07,010
Did you have a spark that initially, did

1276
00:46:07,010 --> 00:46:08,769
you think, wow, this You know what? That

1277
00:46:08,769 --> 00:46:11,409
is cute. I no. I thought he was

1278
00:46:11,409 --> 00:46:13,489
really cool, you know, but I didn't I

1279
00:46:13,489 --> 00:46:15,594
know because I was working. And I, you

1280
00:46:15,594 --> 00:46:17,675
know, I, I work in, in that leather

1281
00:46:17,675 --> 00:46:18,815
goods store. It's

1282
00:46:19,275 --> 00:46:21,375
the, it's very, it's a very

1283
00:46:21,755 --> 00:46:22,815
male centered

1284
00:46:23,195 --> 00:46:25,114
store, you know? So there's a lot of

1285
00:46:25,114 --> 00:46:26,795
men who come in, come through that store.

1286
00:46:26,795 --> 00:46:28,315
And when you're a woman who works in

1287
00:46:28,315 --> 00:46:29,934
a shop like that, and in,

1288
00:46:30,339 --> 00:46:31,719
France, you know, where

1289
00:46:32,099 --> 00:46:34,339
the culture is different, it's very, you kind

1290
00:46:34,339 --> 00:46:35,159
of have your,

1291
00:46:35,780 --> 00:46:36,280
your,

1292
00:46:37,219 --> 00:46:38,359
your guard up.

1293
00:46:38,659 --> 00:46:40,819
And I always had that, because I wanted

1294
00:46:40,819 --> 00:46:42,420
to be, you know, I want credibility. I

1295
00:46:42,420 --> 00:46:44,099
want to want to be taken seriously and

1296
00:46:44,099 --> 00:46:46,864
to have the boundaries. So no, not really.

1297
00:46:46,864 --> 00:46:48,465
And, but I just thought, you know, he's

1298
00:46:48,465 --> 00:46:50,405
like a cool guy, you know, really nice.

1299
00:46:50,625 --> 00:46:52,784
And two and a half weeks later, or

1300
00:46:52,784 --> 00:46:55,025
3 weeks later, I went to London to

1301
00:46:55,025 --> 00:46:56,085
see Trevor Noah.

1302
00:46:56,864 --> 00:46:58,224
This, he had a standup,

1303
00:46:58,704 --> 00:47:01,250
like event there, like show. And then I

1304
00:47:01,250 --> 00:47:03,250
went to a store because I was with

1305
00:47:03,250 --> 00:47:04,690
a friend and she wanted to buy a

1306
00:47:04,690 --> 00:47:07,489
hunting jacket. And I went to this store

1307
00:47:07,489 --> 00:47:08,469
on Notting Hills,

1308
00:47:09,409 --> 00:47:10,389
Notting Hill.

1309
00:47:10,690 --> 00:47:13,905
It's on Portobello Road, actually. Yep, it's called

1310
00:47:13,905 --> 00:47:16,050
2 8 4, or 282. Wonderful store. And,

1311
00:47:16,073 --> 00:47:16,724
and my friend's like trying on all these

1312
00:47:16,724 --> 00:47:18,184
codes, and in walks Jake and

1313
00:47:18,965 --> 00:47:19,465
Jer.

1314
00:47:30,349 --> 00:47:32,030
And I was like, wait a minute. And

1315
00:47:32,030 --> 00:47:33,730
Jake's, you know, his hair was,

1316
00:47:34,190 --> 00:47:36,349
down to his, like, just to show, like

1317
00:47:36,349 --> 00:47:37,969
shoulder, like the top of his shoulder

1318
00:47:38,269 --> 00:47:40,510
or his chin or something. White blonde hair.

1319
00:47:40,510 --> 00:47:41,010
Yeah.

1320
00:47:41,405 --> 00:47:43,324
White blonde hair. And so I was in

1321
00:47:43,324 --> 00:47:45,085
the back of the store and he walks

1322
00:47:45,085 --> 00:47:47,164
in and so, you know, where the light

1323
00:47:47,164 --> 00:47:49,005
is. And so he's walking and then he's

1324
00:47:49,005 --> 00:47:51,344
got like, there's this guy with that halo

1325
00:47:51,565 --> 00:47:52,304
of hair

1326
00:47:53,085 --> 00:47:53,585
and,

1327
00:47:53,964 --> 00:47:55,184
and behind him

1328
00:47:55,559 --> 00:47:58,280
is Jeff, who's, you know, dressed in he

1329
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:00,699
has a very particular style. Right?

1330
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,000
And so I look at them and I

1331
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:03,739
was like,

1332
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,239
wow, okay. And and I and I say

1333
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,755
to I I think I I say in

1334
00:48:09,755 --> 00:48:11,114
generally to the both of them, I was

1335
00:48:11,114 --> 00:48:13,934
like, I'm, I saw you guys in,

1336
00:48:14,474 --> 00:48:16,875
in Paris 3 weeks ago or two and

1337
00:48:16,875 --> 00:48:18,715
a half weeks ago. And, and they look

1338
00:48:18,715 --> 00:48:21,114
at me and I go, you're, you're the

1339
00:48:21,114 --> 00:48:22,094
phone case girl.

1340
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,440
And so we, you know, we were in

1341
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:27,799
the store for a long time because my

1342
00:48:27,799 --> 00:48:29,319
friend was trying on clothes and I was

1343
00:48:29,319 --> 00:48:31,880
just pottering around. And so I thought Jake

1344
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:33,719
and I would talk and then we're like,

1345
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:35,000
oh, you know, and he said, do you

1346
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:35,500
wanna,

1347
00:48:36,279 --> 00:48:37,579
have lunch or,

1348
00:48:38,285 --> 00:48:39,724
and, and Jeff was like, you should have

1349
00:48:39,724 --> 00:48:40,945
lunch with Jake because,

1350
00:48:41,885 --> 00:48:43,805
because I have a meeting and he's alone.

1351
00:48:43,805 --> 00:48:46,125
And, and so Jake had lunch with me

1352
00:48:46,125 --> 00:48:47,025
and my friend.

1353
00:48:47,485 --> 00:48:50,045
And after the lunch, my friend said to

1354
00:48:50,045 --> 00:48:52,429
him to me, and she said, if that

1355
00:48:52,429 --> 00:48:54,909
guy asks you out, or like, if that

1356
00:48:54,909 --> 00:48:56,849
guy shows interest in you,

1357
00:48:57,389 --> 00:48:59,170
and you don't respond,

1358
00:48:59,789 --> 00:49:01,650
I will be really mad at you.

1359
00:49:03,324 --> 00:49:05,644
Because I was on my 1 year dating

1360
00:49:05,644 --> 00:49:06,144
ban.

1361
00:49:06,684 --> 00:49:07,425
Oh, yeah.

1362
00:49:08,125 --> 00:49:10,045
Yeah. So I was like, I'm on a

1363
00:49:10,045 --> 00:49:10,864
dating ban.

1364
00:49:11,405 --> 00:49:13,005
I was like, no, I'm on my 1

1365
00:49:13,005 --> 00:49:14,525
year dating ban. And I was like, he's

1366
00:49:14,525 --> 00:49:15,804
not going to get in touch. He lives

1367
00:49:15,804 --> 00:49:16,704
in Los Angeles.

1368
00:49:17,005 --> 00:49:18,510
And he got in touch, and

1369
00:49:19,070 --> 00:49:20,750
and we were just chatting, and that's how

1370
00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:21,409
it started.

1371
00:49:22,349 --> 00:49:24,670
Yeah. Well, from this end, when he came

1372
00:49:24,670 --> 00:49:27,570
back, he was very excited about

1373
00:49:27,949 --> 00:49:29,489
having met you, and

1374
00:49:29,789 --> 00:49:31,329
it was really cute to see.

1375
00:49:32,385 --> 00:49:34,625
Yeah. No one is really he's a really

1376
00:49:34,625 --> 00:49:37,925
sweet person. But the chances of that interaction

1377
00:49:38,224 --> 00:49:39,284
happening twice

1378
00:49:39,585 --> 00:49:40,965
is so astronomical.

1379
00:49:42,545 --> 00:49:44,465
I know, isn't it? I mean, I was

1380
00:49:44,465 --> 00:49:47,150
like, don't read too much into it. You

1381
00:49:47,150 --> 00:49:48,909
know, I was I was very careful and

1382
00:49:48,909 --> 00:49:51,069
I'm like, I know it's really it's really

1383
00:49:51,069 --> 00:49:52,449
tempting. It's very

1384
00:49:52,909 --> 00:49:54,929
kind of like Nancy Meyers

1385
00:49:55,309 --> 00:49:56,449
thing, you know?

1386
00:49:56,909 --> 00:49:59,505
And but I'm like, don't read into it,

1387
00:49:59,664 --> 00:50:02,304
Like, just be careful. Don't give it too

1388
00:50:02,304 --> 00:50:03,585
much importance. And

1389
00:50:04,065 --> 00:50:06,964
Meanwhile, the ancestors are, like, listen, bitch.

1390
00:50:07,824 --> 00:50:09,824
Yeah. You're like, listen. Like, what do we

1391
00:50:09,824 --> 00:50:12,079
have to do around here? You know? I'm

1392
00:50:12,079 --> 00:50:14,079
like, no, it's fine. You know, like, do

1393
00:50:14,079 --> 00:50:15,780
we have to, like, strike you with lightning?

1394
00:50:17,199 --> 00:50:19,280
But it's it's, you know, and and there

1395
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:20,980
are moments where I regret

1396
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,199
not, you know, that, do you see how

1397
00:50:23,199 --> 00:50:24,855
I'm not fun? Like, this is it. This

1398
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:26,295
is how this is how I'm not fun,

1399
00:50:26,295 --> 00:50:28,375
you know? You're fun. I've I've been around

1400
00:50:28,375 --> 00:50:29,515
who you are fun.

1401
00:50:30,695 --> 00:50:32,375
But it's nice to believe in a bit

1402
00:50:32,375 --> 00:50:34,454
of magic, you know, and to to feel

1403
00:50:34,454 --> 00:50:37,094
that. How did you allow yourself to have

1404
00:50:37,094 --> 00:50:38,554
that when you

1405
00:50:38,969 --> 00:50:40,429
when you weren't necessarily

1406
00:50:41,769 --> 00:50:42,989
that kind of person?

1407
00:50:43,449 --> 00:50:45,929
What made even to come here and and

1408
00:50:45,929 --> 00:50:47,690
hang out for 3 weeks. And, I mean,

1409
00:50:47,690 --> 00:50:49,210
I know he went there and hung out

1410
00:50:49,210 --> 00:50:50,650
for a little while, but still it takes

1411
00:50:50,650 --> 00:50:51,630
a lot of courage.

1412
00:50:52,884 --> 00:50:55,764
Yeah. I think it's the same situation where

1413
00:50:55,764 --> 00:50:59,364
I didn't really weigh it. It's that I

1414
00:50:59,364 --> 00:50:59,864
know

1415
00:51:00,244 --> 00:51:00,744
now

1416
00:51:01,525 --> 00:51:03,464
how rare it is to meet

1417
00:51:04,650 --> 00:51:05,949
a really good person

1418
00:51:06,889 --> 00:51:08,429
that, you know, like

1419
00:51:09,049 --> 00:51:12,109
you can, like, obviously I'm attracted to Jake

1420
00:51:12,329 --> 00:51:14,750
and obviously he's a very attractive person. And,

1421
00:51:14,809 --> 00:51:17,585
but beyond that, you know, I think he's

1422
00:51:17,585 --> 00:51:18,964
a really good person.

1423
00:51:19,585 --> 00:51:22,864
And I'm beginning, you know, to realize that

1424
00:51:22,864 --> 00:51:25,444
in life, you don't meet that many people,

1425
00:51:25,744 --> 00:51:26,804
that you can say,

1426
00:51:27,105 --> 00:51:28,804
that's a good person.

1427
00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:31,500
You can say, I'm really attracted to this

1428
00:51:31,500 --> 00:51:34,220
person, and I'm in like, you know, I'm

1429
00:51:34,220 --> 00:51:37,119
infatuated with this person or something, you know,

1430
00:51:37,420 --> 00:51:39,739
and that can happen a lot. But a

1431
00:51:39,739 --> 00:51:42,059
good person that you meet and you connect

1432
00:51:42,059 --> 00:51:42,559
with,

1433
00:51:43,335 --> 00:51:45,755
that's really rare. And, you know,

1434
00:51:46,054 --> 00:51:47,994
and I think it's worth exploring.

1435
00:51:49,574 --> 00:51:52,295
And that's what it was, you know? He's

1436
00:51:52,295 --> 00:51:53,675
got that good combination

1437
00:51:54,135 --> 00:51:54,635
of,

1438
00:51:55,510 --> 00:51:58,390
gentleness, but feel like if the shit went

1439
00:51:58,390 --> 00:52:00,309
down, he would be the 1st to jump

1440
00:52:00,309 --> 00:52:02,309
in and kick everyone's ass. I don't know

1441
00:52:02,309 --> 00:52:04,869
why he has that vibe. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

1442
00:52:04,869 --> 00:52:07,050
He totally does. And that's kinda hot.

1443
00:52:07,430 --> 00:52:07,930
Yeah.

1444
00:52:08,390 --> 00:52:11,164
It is. Yeah. But yeah, he totally has

1445
00:52:11,164 --> 00:52:13,905
that. He's got that, yeah, he's so,

1446
00:52:16,204 --> 00:52:17,344
he's so sweet.

1447
00:52:18,204 --> 00:52:18,704
And,

1448
00:52:20,284 --> 00:52:22,144
but at the same time, he has something

1449
00:52:22,204 --> 00:52:25,369
like, really badass behind it, you know, that

1450
00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:26,650
he's not,

1451
00:52:26,949 --> 00:52:27,690
you know,

1452
00:52:28,150 --> 00:52:28,650
afraid

1453
00:52:29,109 --> 00:52:30,489
to pull out, you know,

1454
00:52:30,949 --> 00:52:31,609
if needed.

1455
00:52:32,070 --> 00:52:33,609
Yeah. And he's

1456
00:52:34,070 --> 00:52:34,730
got like

1457
00:52:35,030 --> 00:52:36,089
the really wholesome

1458
00:52:37,155 --> 00:52:39,155
guy thing, but at the same time, kind

1459
00:52:39,155 --> 00:52:41,175
of like the bad boy thing as well,

1460
00:52:41,315 --> 00:52:43,715
you know? And that was very unexpected. And

1461
00:52:43,715 --> 00:52:44,535
I was like,

1462
00:52:45,155 --> 00:52:46,614
Wow. That's kinda cool.

1463
00:52:47,795 --> 00:52:50,195
Well, it's all very exciting. And I think

1464
00:52:50,195 --> 00:52:52,409
it's a good lesson, you know, hearing your

1465
00:52:52,569 --> 00:52:53,069
story,

1466
00:52:54,409 --> 00:52:56,569
especially, I think, from the woman's point of

1467
00:52:56,569 --> 00:52:57,389
view because

1468
00:52:57,929 --> 00:52:59,849
that that is a risk because you risk

1469
00:52:59,849 --> 00:53:00,349
safety.

1470
00:53:00,969 --> 00:53:04,109
Besides emotional safety, you risk physical safety

1471
00:53:04,569 --> 00:53:06,109
to jump into something.

1472
00:53:06,864 --> 00:53:09,344
And Absolutely. So it is a reminder that

1473
00:53:09,344 --> 00:53:10,405
there are good

1474
00:53:10,864 --> 00:53:12,325
connections to be made.

1475
00:53:13,505 --> 00:53:16,224
Yes. Yes. There it is. And, you know,

1476
00:53:16,224 --> 00:53:18,785
you risk, you know, anything to do with

1477
00:53:18,785 --> 00:53:21,239
love is a risk. Sure. I think, or

1478
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:21,880
like the

1479
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:24,920
and, you know, all the peripheral parts of

1480
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:25,820
it. And,

1481
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,140
yeah, and I'm

1482
00:53:28,519 --> 00:53:29,260
I think

1483
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,619
I was willing to take that risk because

1484
00:53:32,679 --> 00:53:33,420
I value

1485
00:53:34,324 --> 00:53:36,505
that, you know? But trust me, it's not

1486
00:53:36,724 --> 00:53:37,545
something that

1487
00:53:38,085 --> 00:53:40,724
I it doesn't feel safe. It doesn't. It

1488
00:53:40,724 --> 00:53:43,284
doesn't feel easy at all, you know, to

1489
00:53:43,284 --> 00:53:45,924
do things like that. Like, but you've got

1490
00:53:45,924 --> 00:53:46,424
to,

1491
00:53:46,949 --> 00:53:48,809
I feel like you've got to do it.

1492
00:53:49,030 --> 00:53:51,670
Do it anyway. That's bravery. Yeah. Right there.

1493
00:53:51,670 --> 00:53:53,109
It's one of those things you're going to

1494
00:53:53,109 --> 00:53:54,949
regret in life if you don't do it,

1495
00:53:54,949 --> 00:53:56,949
you know? Yeah. Those are the major things

1496
00:53:56,949 --> 00:53:59,429
you regret, you know? And I really believe

1497
00:53:59,429 --> 00:54:01,190
that we do regret the things we don't

1498
00:54:01,190 --> 00:54:02,684
do more than the things that we

1499
00:54:03,805 --> 00:54:04,625
do. And

1500
00:54:05,164 --> 00:54:06,385
when, when, you know,

1501
00:54:06,925 --> 00:54:09,344
this happens, like you meet somebody twice

1502
00:54:09,885 --> 00:54:12,285
in 2 different countries in a span of

1503
00:54:12,285 --> 00:54:13,344
3 weeks and

1504
00:54:13,724 --> 00:54:15,265
you cannot, you know,

1505
00:54:16,530 --> 00:54:19,010
do something. But it's also that Jake was

1506
00:54:19,010 --> 00:54:19,329
very,

1507
00:54:19,809 --> 00:54:21,650
he was very charming as well. Like he's

1508
00:54:21,650 --> 00:54:23,969
a great communicator. He's really funny. And that

1509
00:54:23,969 --> 00:54:26,070
helps, you know? It makes you forget

1510
00:54:26,610 --> 00:54:28,610
all the danger. But we had a moment

1511
00:54:28,610 --> 00:54:31,804
where, where, you know, like, I think his

1512
00:54:31,804 --> 00:54:33,724
mother was concerned that I could, you know,

1513
00:54:33,724 --> 00:54:35,164
that he could go to Paris, and I

1514
00:54:35,164 --> 00:54:36,525
could be a murder

1515
00:54:36,844 --> 00:54:37,505
a murderer

1516
00:54:37,804 --> 00:54:39,964
too. That's true. Right? Like Yeah. He could

1517
00:54:39,964 --> 00:54:41,904
be in danger too, you know? Yeah.

1518
00:54:42,204 --> 00:54:44,605
So, yeah. We don't think about that, but

1519
00:54:44,605 --> 00:54:47,010
that could happen. Yeah. Well, if you Jury

1520
00:54:47,010 --> 00:54:48,769
is still out, either one of you could

1521
00:54:48,769 --> 00:54:50,690
be a serial killer. We're just gonna wait

1522
00:54:50,690 --> 00:54:52,690
and see. I know. Right? Maybe we're a

1523
00:54:52,690 --> 00:54:55,410
plot twist. If you're both a serial killer.

1524
00:54:55,410 --> 00:54:56,630
That's the plot twist.

1525
00:54:57,410 --> 00:54:59,650
Yes. Exactly. And we'll see if it's a

1526
00:54:59,650 --> 00:55:00,390
serial surprise.

1527
00:55:03,474 --> 00:55:05,255
Right? That would be a great,

1528
00:55:06,434 --> 00:55:08,775
Romeo and Juliet story without the families.

1529
00:55:09,394 --> 00:55:10,775
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

1530
00:55:12,035 --> 00:55:14,434
Tell people how they might find you on

1531
00:55:14,434 --> 00:55:14,934
adventures

1532
00:55:15,235 --> 00:55:16,849
or you know, I don't are you on

1533
00:55:16,849 --> 00:55:18,309
social media? I can't remember.

1534
00:55:19,890 --> 00:55:21,890
I am, but I just it's just because

1535
00:55:21,890 --> 00:55:24,630
I had a store before the home decoration

1536
00:55:24,690 --> 00:55:27,489
store and I had my Instagram for that

1537
00:55:27,489 --> 00:55:29,489
store, but I'm not on social media in

1538
00:55:29,489 --> 00:55:32,364
general. I don't post anything because, you know,

1539
00:55:32,684 --> 00:55:34,704
I don't post anything about my life.

1540
00:55:35,085 --> 00:55:37,244
You leave tomorrow to go back. What are

1541
00:55:37,244 --> 00:55:39,105
you gonna do to celebrate your last

1542
00:55:40,204 --> 00:55:40,704
day?

1543
00:55:41,164 --> 00:55:43,405
Oh, what are we doing? We're going to

1544
00:55:43,405 --> 00:55:45,960
Musso in France tonight. Yummy?

1545
00:55:46,340 --> 00:55:49,300
Yeah. And yeah. And we're celebrating Jake's movie

1546
00:55:49,300 --> 00:55:49,800
release.

1547
00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:52,980
Yay. And we're because Terra Firma comes out

1548
00:55:52,980 --> 00:55:55,460
to to not today. It came out today

1549
00:55:55,460 --> 00:55:57,940
on streaming. So so we're we're going to

1550
00:55:57,940 --> 00:55:58,660
do that. And

1551
00:55:59,505 --> 00:56:01,904
yeah, so that'll be a dinner tonight. We

1552
00:56:01,904 --> 00:56:03,824
went to Canter's the other day over there.

1553
00:56:03,824 --> 00:56:06,144
Oh, I love Canter's. Yeah. Oh, I love

1554
00:56:06,144 --> 00:56:07,984
it. It was so good. That was the

1555
00:56:07,984 --> 00:56:10,704
best pastrami sandwich I've ever had. And sweet

1556
00:56:10,704 --> 00:56:11,364
potato sandwiches.

1557
00:56:12,130 --> 00:56:14,530
Yeah. Isn't it the best? And we were

1558
00:56:14,530 --> 00:56:17,329
seated in a booth that, next to a

1559
00:56:17,329 --> 00:56:19,989
framed copy of Ruth Reichl's review.

1560
00:56:20,449 --> 00:56:22,130
And I felt like I was going to

1561
00:56:22,130 --> 00:56:22,630
temple,

1562
00:56:23,250 --> 00:56:24,690
you know, and that was like the altar

1563
00:56:24,690 --> 00:56:26,324
I was praying at. I love

1564
00:56:26,785 --> 00:56:27,285
it.

1565
00:56:28,144 --> 00:56:28,644
Fantastic.

1566
00:56:29,105 --> 00:56:30,785
It was great. It's been a wonderful trip,

1567
00:56:30,785 --> 00:56:32,324
and I was I'm glad. Something.

1568
00:56:32,945 --> 00:56:34,785
Yeah. I'm glad. I'm glad you've had a

1569
00:56:34,785 --> 00:56:37,105
good experience. I'd I would have no doubt

1570
00:56:37,105 --> 00:56:38,965
that Jake would show you an amazing

1571
00:56:39,670 --> 00:56:41,429
3 weeks. So I'm glad you've had that.

1572
00:56:41,429 --> 00:56:42,170
It's been

1573
00:56:42,710 --> 00:56:45,510
yeah. It's been really amazing. Yeah. I've I've

1574
00:56:45,510 --> 00:56:47,670
I've seen a lot of the city, like

1575
00:56:47,829 --> 00:56:50,469
yeah. He's been driving a lot. Like, I've

1576
00:56:50,469 --> 00:56:52,309
been, you know, like, the city is so

1577
00:56:52,309 --> 00:56:52,809
big.

1578
00:56:54,045 --> 00:56:56,764
That's how you know somebody from LA really

1579
00:56:56,764 --> 00:56:58,605
likes you is that they're willing to drive

1580
00:56:58,605 --> 00:57:01,164
you to all those places because you know

1581
00:57:01,324 --> 00:57:03,025
Yeah. That means a lot.

1582
00:57:03,484 --> 00:57:05,804
I know. I know that that I I

1583
00:57:05,804 --> 00:57:07,565
see that. I was, like, wow. That really

1584
00:57:07,565 --> 00:57:09,389
means a lot. And I love LA, I

1585
00:57:09,389 --> 00:57:12,349
love LA is a real melting pot. And

1586
00:57:12,349 --> 00:57:14,449
I always think that you can tell if

1587
00:57:14,510 --> 00:57:17,089
it's a real melting pot, by the authenticity

1588
00:57:17,869 --> 00:57:18,369
of

1589
00:57:19,309 --> 00:57:19,969
the different

1590
00:57:20,675 --> 00:57:21,574
types of

1591
00:57:21,875 --> 00:57:22,375
food

1592
00:57:23,715 --> 00:57:24,775
in different communities.

1593
00:57:25,155 --> 00:57:26,994
You know, I had Thai food here that

1594
00:57:26,994 --> 00:57:28,454
was better than in Thailand.

1595
00:57:29,074 --> 00:57:31,234
And, you know, it was so good. It

1596
00:57:31,234 --> 00:57:33,795
was super authentic. And I'm like, I love

1597
00:57:33,795 --> 00:57:34,695
that that community,

1598
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:39,179
was able to preserve and share that. And,

1599
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:41,960
and I think that says something about, about

1600
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:44,219
the city, you know. Yeah.

1601
00:57:44,519 --> 00:57:45,019
Absolutely.

1602
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,039
Well, come back soon and then I need

1603
00:57:48,039 --> 00:57:49,875
to come to France Cause I've never been,

1604
00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:52,355
I've been to Portugal airport. I've never actually

1605
00:57:52,355 --> 00:57:54,855
gone to experience France at all.

1606
00:57:55,554 --> 00:57:57,875
You must come. You'll stay with me. Okay.

1607
00:57:57,875 --> 00:58:00,515
But in my tiny little place, but you

1608
00:58:00,515 --> 00:58:02,355
must come. The tiny place is part of

1609
00:58:02,355 --> 00:58:03,094
the experience.

1610
00:58:04,829 --> 00:58:06,670
You blew my mind when you told me

1611
00:58:06,670 --> 00:58:08,670
about the squatting thing. Can we talk about

1612
00:58:08,670 --> 00:58:11,809
that really quick? I'm I'm just so flabbergasted

1613
00:58:12,190 --> 00:58:12,929
by this.

1614
00:58:13,230 --> 00:58:15,949
Oh, yeah. If if you, if somebody breaks

1615
00:58:15,949 --> 00:58:18,045
into your apartment and lives there for more

1616
00:58:18,045 --> 00:58:21,085
than I think 48 or 72 hours and

1617
00:58:21,085 --> 00:58:22,385
that apartment and,

1618
00:58:22,925 --> 00:58:25,105
you know, you can't kick them out.

1619
00:58:25,405 --> 00:58:27,885
That's a, that's a thing it's, but it's

1620
00:58:27,885 --> 00:58:30,784
not that common. And, as it's not

1621
00:58:31,230 --> 00:58:33,170
that common in Paris, but

1622
00:58:33,630 --> 00:58:36,510
I actually saw a documentary on it. And

1623
00:58:36,510 --> 00:58:38,750
that was mind blowing. That was like in

1624
00:58:38,750 --> 00:58:42,030
France, right? Like in actual houses where many

1625
00:58:42,030 --> 00:58:45,885
people moved in and cut electricity, and put

1626
00:58:45,885 --> 00:58:46,385
generators

1627
00:58:46,684 --> 00:58:47,184
in,

1628
00:58:47,644 --> 00:58:48,465
and no, that's

1629
00:58:49,724 --> 00:58:51,505
the tenant is very well

1630
00:58:52,125 --> 00:58:53,664
protected in France,

1631
00:58:54,045 --> 00:58:54,864
as workers

1632
00:58:55,325 --> 00:58:58,385
are very well protected as opposed to employers.

1633
00:58:59,429 --> 00:59:00,650
So, yeah.

1634
00:59:00,949 --> 00:59:02,010
And, oh, and if somebody,

1635
00:59:02,469 --> 00:59:04,489
if somebody stops paying rent,

1636
00:59:04,869 --> 00:59:06,089
I think in winter,

1637
00:59:06,550 --> 00:59:08,630
you can't kick them out or something. There's

1638
00:59:08,630 --> 00:59:10,809
like, there are laws like that.

1639
00:59:11,474 --> 00:59:12,934
It's it's wild.

1640
00:59:13,394 --> 00:59:14,614
Yeah. It is wild.

1641
00:59:15,474 --> 00:59:16,215
Well, anyway,

1642
00:59:16,994 --> 00:59:19,255
thank you so much for

1643
00:59:19,555 --> 00:59:22,195
talking with me today. I really appreciate it,

1644
00:59:22,195 --> 00:59:24,195
especially knowing this is your last day for

1645
00:59:24,195 --> 00:59:25,555
you to take the time. I really I

1646
00:59:25,555 --> 00:59:27,590
think that's great. Well, thank you for having

1647
00:59:27,590 --> 00:59:30,390
me. It's such, it's such an honor and

1648
00:59:30,390 --> 00:59:32,630
a a great pleasure. It's been such a

1649
00:59:32,630 --> 00:59:33,530
cool conversation.

1650
00:59:33,829 --> 00:59:36,090
I love talking about these things with you.

1651
00:59:36,309 --> 00:59:38,550
Yeah. And, yeah, I I love I love

1652
00:59:38,550 --> 00:59:40,010
your questions. And,

1653
00:59:40,445 --> 00:59:42,625
yeah, I wish we could hang.

1654
00:59:42,925 --> 00:59:45,164
I know. Nay, I'll come to France or

1655
00:59:45,164 --> 00:59:47,164
you come back and we'll figure we'll meet

1656
00:59:47,164 --> 00:59:49,505
up somewhere else. Yeah. You're such a wonderful

1657
00:59:49,565 --> 00:59:52,125
person to talk to. Thanks. I love that.

1658
00:59:52,125 --> 00:59:53,264
I love your humanity.

1659
00:59:53,724 --> 00:59:56,000
Thank you. Yeah. I appreciate that. It's Thank

1660
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:56,500
you.

1661
00:59:57,199 --> 00:59:58,900
We need more of that in life.

1662
00:59:59,199 --> 01:00:01,219
That's that's that's what makes it special.

1663
01:00:01,839 --> 01:00:04,000
Well, right back at you. I think that

1664
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,559
you, like myself, are a human of the

1665
01:00:06,559 --> 01:00:08,260
world. And the more

1666
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:09,780
we're out there,

1667
01:00:10,864 --> 01:00:13,025
the the more likely there's more of us

1668
01:00:13,025 --> 01:00:15,664
and we it kinda spreads like wildfire as

1669
01:00:15,664 --> 01:00:18,304
we remind people that it's it's not as

1670
01:00:18,304 --> 01:00:19,844
difficult as it seems.

1671
01:00:20,464 --> 01:00:23,344
Yeah. It isn't. Because we have each other.

1672
01:00:23,344 --> 01:00:25,559
And we always find our you know, we

1673
01:00:25,559 --> 01:00:26,619
find each other.

1674
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,559
Yeah. Yeah. We really do. I think everybody

1675
01:00:29,559 --> 01:00:31,260
does. They find new people.

1676
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,300
I agree. And that's going home, you know?

1677
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:36,140
Yes. Absolutely.

1678
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:38,219
It's like

1679
01:00:39,135 --> 01:00:42,355
Gilda, the weak, the good witch says to

1680
01:00:42,414 --> 01:00:42,914
Dorothy,

1681
01:00:43,775 --> 01:00:45,375
you had it all along. You had the

1682
01:00:45,375 --> 01:00:47,614
ability to be home all along because it

1683
01:00:47,614 --> 01:00:49,235
was never outside of herself.

1684
01:00:50,335 --> 01:00:51,795
Right? It's always in us.

1685
01:00:52,969 --> 01:00:53,469
Yeah.

1686
01:00:53,929 --> 01:00:54,429
Okay.

1687
01:00:55,050 --> 01:00:57,069
Thank you for listening, everybody. Bye.

1688
01:00:58,409 --> 01:01:01,389
Bye, love. Bye. Bye. See you.

1689
01:01:03,050 --> 01:01:05,769
Great. Review and subscribe to Hey Human Podcast

1690
01:01:05,769 --> 01:01:07,869
on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts.

1691
01:01:08,304 --> 01:01:08,804
Thanks.

1692
01:01:09,105 --> 01:01:09,605
Bye.