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Hey, humans. How's it going? Susan Ruth here.

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Thanks for listening to another episode

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of Hey, Human podcast.

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This is episode 429,

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and my guest is Tim James.

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Tim is a hit songwriter with songs penned

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for Toby Keith, Leigh Bryce, Jojo Siwa,

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George Strait, Billy Ray Cyrus,

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lots more. It goes on and on and

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on.

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An accomplished

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performer as well, Tim has performed all over

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the world. He recently published his memoir,

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Going Crazy, Left Foot, Right Foot Breathe, a

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funny and raw journey through his life. I've

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known Tim

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a very long time. He's a great guy

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with a sharp mind and a razor

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sharp wit.

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I think you're gonna really enjoy this episode.

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He's a fun

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guy to talk to.

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Hey Human Podcast is now on YouTube under

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official Susan Ruth. I'm on Patreon

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at susanruthism.

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I'm on TikTok at susanruthism.

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Check out heyhumanpodcast.com

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for links and to learn more about my

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guests and the show.

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Check out susanruth.com

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to learn more about me and my other

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artistic endeavors.

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You'll find out where my short film, The

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First, is playing as it moves through the

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festival tour.

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And

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check out

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Susan Ruthism on social media.

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Find my albums on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon

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Music, or wherever you get your music.

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Rate, review, and subscribe to Hey Human podcast

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on iTunes, Iheart,

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Stitcher, wherever

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you get your podcasts.

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Thanks for listening.

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Be well. Be kind.

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Be love, and here we go.

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Tim James, welcome to Hey Human.

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Thank you, Susan. I appreciate you having me.

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Absolutely. It's always good to see you.

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Well, you know, it's good to be seen

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at my age.

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We have far and few between meetings these

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days.

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Yeah.

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What was the no. It's not too long

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ago that I saw you. Where was that?

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In Malibu.

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At the house. Yeah. In Malibu. Yeah. That

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was fun. I love going to LA for

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a little while.

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Yeah. It's a I I love living here.

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I love being able to look over my

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shoulder and see the ocean. That's fabulous.

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Yeah. I enjoy that too. You know, the

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traffic is always the downside, but, hey,

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every place you live always comes with its

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own set of stuff. Do you know what

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I mean? Nashville's got some traffic too. Right.

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That's what I'm saying. It doesn't matter where

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you go.

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It's got its own set of issues. One

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of my buddies one time was like, man,

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you choose to live in 10 he's born

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and raised here in Murfreesboro with me. He's

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like, you choose to live in the humidity.

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And I was like, dude, you live in

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Daytona Beach, Florida. You've seen more hurricanes in

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the last

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10 years. So that's what I mean. Every

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place has got something. So

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Yeah. I don't miss the bugs or the

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humidity.

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Yeah. Because I have a bug snack.

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They love me. I hate them. It's a

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it's a thing.

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Anyway, well, let's let's dig into you. Tell

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me where you grew up. Tell me what

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childhood was like.

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I grew up in Murfreesboro,

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Tennessee,

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which is about 25 miles southeast of Nashville.

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Born and raised here, went to school here,

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went to a junior college

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and played basketball

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for a little bit, and then went to

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Middle Tennessee State, which is here in Murfreesboro.

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And,

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you know, after having gotten kicked out of

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junior college.

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For? I can't tell you.

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After having gotten kicked out of junior college

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and then plunking out of MTSU, I always

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say, it's not like it was the harbor

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of the south.

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I just didn't go.

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So, yeah, I decided, you know, after

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growing up here and kinda getting to a

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place where I felt like I was kinda

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at a dead end, I had never been

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on an airplane, so I got on an

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airplane and went to LA

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when I was 20,

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probably 23.

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And, I was gonna say 6 months and

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stayed 12 years.

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Why did you go to college if you

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didn't want to go to college? Was that

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a family thing?

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No. I wanted to go to college, but

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I just wanted to go to try to

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play ball.

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Like, I the academic portion of it for

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me was, like, no. I didn't

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me and academics don't really get along so

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well. You know, it's not entirely true. I

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love some of the classes, like, you know,

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any of the English classes are like, biology

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is in those days philosophy,

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but you put me in front of a

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nomenclature

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board, and I'm like a chicken staring at

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a card trick. I just my mind doesn't

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really compute that stuff that well.

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What were you were you a writer as

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a kid? Did you get into your creative

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mind? I did, but I never thought about

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it. I just I wrote my mom, who's

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still living at 87,

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she found some old, like, poems I had

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written.

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And so I guess I did, Susan. I,

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growing up outside of Nashville,

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I think you were almost discouraged to

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get in the game. You know what I

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mean? Like, my parents

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knew some guys that play they were, like,

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session players or, you know, my dad had

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one kinda acquaintance he knew, and it was

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always the same thing. My parents were just

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like, those guys

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are just all, you know, drunk, sitting up

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there smoking cigarettes and making a living, a

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good living as a songwriter.

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It wasn't it wasn't a concept that ever

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crossed my mind until I moved to LA.

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And then

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I started, you know, I put a band

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together out there, started writing,

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started making trips home. The same things that

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sometimes I'll teach these classes, and the people

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that are sitting on the other side are

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kinda looking at me like, man, you've had

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some hit songs. I say, look. I was

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the guy sitting in that chair, and I

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was. Like, I literally

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went to my first NSAI meeting in LA.

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Then when I came home NSAI

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is National Songwriters Association for people that don't

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know. Yeah. So I went to a NSAI

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meeting, and then when I came home here,

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I would go play songs for the few

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people that I knew, but I started ground

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up just like everybody else. I went to,

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ASCAP and BMI and made the rounds there.

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Those were our performance rights organizations.

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Yeah. It was it's been a long

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interesting ride, but a long interesting ride is

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good. Tell me about what it was like

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growing up in the south. There's a lot

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of, I think, misconceptions

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about what it is to be Southern. Tell

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me what it was like and your reflections

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on that and how that shaped you.

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It it was great. When I grew up

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here, it was a town of 25,000

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people. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing somebody

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you knew, And growing up, that

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is something that,

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that that rubbed me the wrong way,

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to say the least, when I was, like,

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in my twenties. I didn't or early twenties

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or even late teens. You couldn't go anywhere

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without somebody knowing your business. If you did

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something,

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the next day,

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your parents are going, yeah. I heard that

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you it happened to me several times.

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You know, that was something that I eventually

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came to treasure.

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You know, the fact that you can see

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people you know, and if you need something

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because you're in a relatively small town, certainly

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in those days, not as much now, you

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could call somebody and get it done. But

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growing up here,

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I was one of 3 boys,

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very middle class.

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I did not, you know, really participate in

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music.

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Like I said, I really didn't have any

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directions. But I think when I started writing,

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when I finally got to a place in

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life where I was like, I'm gonna write

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music, and I learned to play the guitar,

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and I started writing songs.

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The lyrics that came out of my mouth

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were small town lyrics

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because I grew up on a farm. I

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spent 4 years on a pig farm.

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Not that you can necessarily write a song

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about pigs, but you know what I'm saying.

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Like, the small town stuff when I sat

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down with a guitar and I thought, okay.

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If I were to write about my life,

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what would that sound like?

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And everything I wrote sounded like

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a John Mellencamp song or a Garth Brooks

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song. So I just realized, well,

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I'm from the country, and this is the

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kind of music I enjoy. And I grew

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up listening more r and b,

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but as I got older, I realized, man,

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I I write country songs, and I still

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live in Murfreesboro when I came back from

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LA. I never moved to Nashville.

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I wanted to stay here. Family's here. My

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dad passed away. But, yeah, it was a

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fantastic place to grow up and listen at

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one point,

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This

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county was the fastest growing county in the

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entire southeast. People come here for the school

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districts people come here for the pace of

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life and the way of life, I would

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say maybe to your question as well like

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one of the things I've discovered in terms

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of being Southern

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is, I think you and I may have

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had this conversation at some point. Ignorance is

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not geographically based. I have been other places

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and heard some of the most bizarre things

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that I've ever heard in my life. Some

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of those places being just outside of LA.

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Right.

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So, you know, there's so much I love

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about the South. The things that I don't

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like are things and

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somebody that you know, Kimberly June, you know

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KJ. Yeah. I know KJ. We were just

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talking when we were on this trip.

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And she was, like, you know, the funny

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thing is when you're young and you run

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away from

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whatever it is you feel that's driving you

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away, you realize when you get to the

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place that you're going, the same people are

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there. And as are you.

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Wherever you go, there you are.

270
00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:02,190
Right. But you know what I mean? In

271
00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:04,370
terms of, like, you can run from it,

272
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:07,149
and at some point, you'll find some of

273
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,789
the same characteristics and the same people in

274
00:10:09,789 --> 00:10:12,644
your new town. That's just life. I've experienced

275
00:10:12,784 --> 00:10:14,384
that where because I've lived in a lot

276
00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:15,044
of places

277
00:10:15,424 --> 00:10:17,904
where, you know, you develop a core group

278
00:10:17,904 --> 00:10:18,565
of friends,

279
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:21,024
and then you go to a new place

280
00:10:21,024 --> 00:10:23,024
and you you begin to this is a

281
00:10:23,024 --> 00:10:25,205
twenties kind of thing. You start all over

282
00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:27,220
and you start to see that, wait, you

283
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,460
have the same well, that Joe is like

284
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:31,539
this Joe or that Rima is like that

285
00:10:31,539 --> 00:10:33,720
Rima or that Ellen is like that Ellen.

286
00:10:34,019 --> 00:10:37,059
And it's really interesting, and it reminds me

287
00:10:37,059 --> 00:10:40,034
of that Seinfeld episode where they're all walking

288
00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:41,894
down the street and they run into their

289
00:10:42,595 --> 00:10:43,975
their same thems

290
00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:46,034
coming toward them. I think friends do an

291
00:10:46,034 --> 00:10:49,095
episode like that too. That really it's true.

292
00:10:49,714 --> 00:10:52,370
There aren't that many kinds of people. We

293
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,610
like to think of ourselves as individuals, but

294
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,710
we still fall into the same

295
00:10:57,570 --> 00:10:59,110
patterns and behaviors.

296
00:11:00,049 --> 00:11:01,889
Right. I think some of the things that

297
00:11:01,889 --> 00:11:02,789
would be more

298
00:11:03,169 --> 00:11:05,485
overt here to me are I'll just give

299
00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:07,245
you a super small example, like, when I

300
00:11:07,245 --> 00:11:09,425
was in LA, I'm now in the habit

301
00:11:09,725 --> 00:11:11,485
of I wave at most everybody. If you're

302
00:11:11,485 --> 00:11:13,024
just walking down the street, I just

303
00:11:13,404 --> 00:11:15,884
kinda and, you know, here, people just give

304
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,045
you a hand back, and I was in

305
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:21,000
Santa Monica on the promenade walking with my

306
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,919
buddy, and I found myself kinda naturally doing

307
00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:24,440
this, and people are looking at me like,

308
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,120
he's something's wrong with his hand. He can't

309
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,179
control that hand.

310
00:11:27,639 --> 00:11:29,820
He's got some sort of Tourette's or something

311
00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:31,799
because he just raised his hand. So, you

312
00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:34,985
know, things like that. But there's great people

313
00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:36,884
everywhere you go, and there's bad people everywhere

314
00:11:36,884 --> 00:11:38,644
you go. That's life. Did you grow up

315
00:11:38,644 --> 00:11:41,204
in a relatively liberal household, or was it

316
00:11:41,204 --> 00:11:41,865
more conservative?

317
00:11:42,324 --> 00:11:44,504
No. Definitely more conservative. Yeah.

318
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:45,304
Church.

319
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:49,190
Religious. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Conservative probably across

320
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:49,850
the board.

321
00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:51,910
Really, to be honest with you, I guess,

322
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,769
in hindsight, I don't know that

323
00:11:54,309 --> 00:11:56,009
my parents were ever very,

324
00:11:56,870 --> 00:12:00,090
politically vocal, certainly from a religious standpoint.

325
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:00,970
Again,

326
00:12:02,945 --> 00:12:04,225
for the most part, you,

327
00:12:05,664 --> 00:12:07,264
and so I shouldn't say, in some cases,

328
00:12:07,264 --> 00:12:09,284
you repeat what you have learned.

329
00:12:09,745 --> 00:12:10,804
And for me,

330
00:12:11,504 --> 00:12:13,105
my parents were raised in the church, so

331
00:12:13,105 --> 00:12:15,184
they raised me in the church. That's just

332
00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:16,080
come the way

333
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,379
it rolled downhill.

334
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,299
But, yeah, they we went twice a week.

335
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,160
And, again, you know, it's for somebody that

336
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,080
grows up in that and then goes to

337
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,480
LA. That's why I say LA was a

338
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,160
a wonderful place for me, and I talk

339
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,934
about it in my book. It's it's a

340
00:12:31,934 --> 00:12:33,535
place where you can grow up. And when

341
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,394
I was in Venice with my buddy,

342
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,014
right after I saw you, we were walking

343
00:12:38,014 --> 00:12:39,455
down the street and he said, man, I

344
00:12:39,455 --> 00:12:40,735
guess one of the and he's been out

345
00:12:40,735 --> 00:12:43,375
there now 38 years probably, although he says

346
00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:45,455
he's gonna move. It's one of those places

347
00:12:45,455 --> 00:12:47,154
where people go to reinvent themselves.

348
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,460
And when you're 23 from a small town

349
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:51,960
and you don't know what in the world

350
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:52,940
you're gonna do,

351
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,920
LA is a place where you can go

352
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:55,420
and

353
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,500
be free to be anything.

354
00:12:58,279 --> 00:12:59,960
And to be honest with you, nobody gives

355
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:00,495
a rip.

356
00:13:00,975 --> 00:13:03,554
No. It's certainly a place that anything

357
00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:06,434
is accepted that you get to really

358
00:13:07,534 --> 00:13:09,774
be who you are or be several people

359
00:13:09,774 --> 00:13:12,815
of who you are. Did you know when

360
00:13:12,815 --> 00:13:14,595
you were heading this way

361
00:13:15,214 --> 00:13:15,714
that

362
00:13:16,019 --> 00:13:18,340
you were going to find yourself? Was that

363
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,259
a decision, or was it one of those

364
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:22,740
things where you just pack a bag, you

365
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:25,000
go, and fall as they may?

366
00:13:25,460 --> 00:13:26,759
Yeah. Probably 5050.

367
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,639
Like, I definitely I was not

368
00:13:30,264 --> 00:13:32,264
gifted enough to say, yeah. I'm gonna go

369
00:13:32,264 --> 00:13:33,804
to LA. No. I

370
00:13:34,264 --> 00:13:35,725
kinda felt like

371
00:13:36,345 --> 00:13:38,845
for whatever I lacked in academics,

372
00:13:39,705 --> 00:13:42,125
my ability to look at myself

373
00:13:42,699 --> 00:13:45,179
and go, man, I need a change, has

374
00:13:45,179 --> 00:13:47,339
always been relatively good. So even when I

375
00:13:47,339 --> 00:13:48,320
was in my twenties,

376
00:13:48,699 --> 00:13:49,440
I just

377
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,820
was like, this is a dead literally a

378
00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:52,720
dead end road.

379
00:13:53,339 --> 00:13:55,339
And a lot of the guys and girls

380
00:13:55,339 --> 00:13:56,539
I went to school with, you know, if

381
00:13:56,539 --> 00:13:58,139
your dad was a lawyer, you became a

382
00:13:58,139 --> 00:13:58,514
lawyer.

383
00:13:58,995 --> 00:14:01,154
And if your dad owned the insurance agency,

384
00:14:01,154 --> 00:14:03,554
you got the insurance agency. Well, I didn't

385
00:14:03,554 --> 00:14:04,215
have that.

386
00:14:04,674 --> 00:14:07,715
So another thing that kinda motivated me to

387
00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:09,715
get out of here was probably like, well,

388
00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:11,315
I don't I mean, what am I gonna

389
00:14:11,315 --> 00:14:13,575
do? I I couldn't get through college,

390
00:14:14,419 --> 00:14:16,819
so I went to LA. Where are you

391
00:14:16,819 --> 00:14:17,879
in the birth order?

392
00:14:18,819 --> 00:14:19,319
Middle.

393
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,159
Middle child. Uh-oh.

394
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:24,839
No surprise there,

395
00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:27,159
What did your dad do?

396
00:14:28,384 --> 00:14:30,544
My dad did a variety of things. He

397
00:14:30,544 --> 00:14:31,284
was really

398
00:14:32,144 --> 00:14:35,105
a entrepreneur, like, a a great at what

399
00:14:35,105 --> 00:14:37,524
he did, whatever he chose to do,

400
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,804
but he when I was young, my dad

401
00:14:40,865 --> 00:14:43,720
had an insurance agent. Well, he started. He

402
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,660
opened the 1st Nissan dealership

403
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:46,700
in

404
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,100
Middle Tennessee. It was called Datsun.

405
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:50,600
That's how

406
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,799
I'm totally dating myself, but he opened a

407
00:14:53,799 --> 00:14:54,860
a Nissan dealership,

408
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,000
and he kept it for, like, 5 years.

409
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,214
He sold it, and then he opened an

410
00:14:59,214 --> 00:15:01,375
insurance agency. This is a guy with an

411
00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:02,355
8th grade education,

412
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,434
and he opened an insurance agency,

413
00:15:04,894 --> 00:15:07,375
did well with that, and sold that. But

414
00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:08,674
my dad's goal

415
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:11,794
was he was a pipe smoker.

416
00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:14,570
So my dad was the number one collector

417
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:16,889
in the United States of of smoking pipe

418
00:15:16,889 --> 00:15:18,509
called the Dunhill pipe.

419
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,210
And he had started collecting when he was

420
00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:21,790
a kid,

421
00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:25,049
and, he always wanted to open a pipe

422
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,509
and tobacco shop,

423
00:15:26,815 --> 00:15:28,495
and so he did that when he was,

424
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:29,235
like, probably

425
00:15:29,935 --> 00:15:31,695
I mean, I bet he was probably 60

426
00:15:31,695 --> 00:15:33,475
when he did it, and

427
00:15:34,095 --> 00:15:35,695
he just said that's what I always wanted

428
00:15:35,695 --> 00:15:37,375
to do. So I would work for him

429
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:40,240
some and so yeah. That he was he

430
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,919
was good at as he would say, he

431
00:15:41,919 --> 00:15:44,100
could sell ice cubes to Eskimos. So

432
00:15:44,959 --> 00:15:45,459
That's

433
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:46,980
inspiring

434
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,339
that he's went after his dream at 60

435
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,259
and and achieved it.

436
00:15:53,095 --> 00:15:54,855
Yeah. I think he and I well, my

437
00:15:54,855 --> 00:15:57,174
mom says we're very, very similar, but, yeah,

438
00:15:57,174 --> 00:15:58,615
I mean, I had my first number one

439
00:15:58,615 --> 00:16:01,014
song at 40, and my dad, you know,

440
00:16:01,014 --> 00:16:03,434
started his dream job at 60. So,

441
00:16:03,815 --> 00:16:05,835
you know, we're late bloomers, I guess.

442
00:16:06,639 --> 00:16:08,480
Well, I'm sorry your father passed. Did he

443
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,379
die of cancer?

444
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,879
Well, he he did die of cancer, but

445
00:16:12,879 --> 00:16:14,019
he was 86

446
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:15,620
years old.

447
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,100
So he, he, at 86,

448
00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:21,674
had what they thought initially was that sort

449
00:16:21,674 --> 00:16:23,934
of laboring cough and,

450
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:26,794
they took him to the hospital and they

451
00:16:26,794 --> 00:16:28,634
were like, it's congestive heart failure, you know,

452
00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:30,334
because you're starting to get the rattle.

453
00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:32,649
And, then they came in the next day

454
00:16:32,649 --> 00:16:35,070
and they were like, hey, it's lung cancer.

455
00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:37,769
And I my older brother also passed away,

456
00:16:37,769 --> 00:16:39,850
but my 2 brothers and I, my mom

457
00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:40,750
sat there and

458
00:16:41,129 --> 00:16:43,370
I said, man, that's for me, that's out

459
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,975
of the question. Like, chemo and radiation for

460
00:16:45,975 --> 00:16:48,454
an 86 year old? No. So he can

461
00:16:48,454 --> 00:16:50,694
live, what, 3 months as a, you know,

462
00:16:50,694 --> 00:16:51,434
in a bed?

463
00:16:52,214 --> 00:16:54,375
So we all kinda agreed that was not

464
00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:56,534
an option, and they said, well, he'll probably

465
00:16:56,534 --> 00:16:58,694
last about 3 months, and he lasted 3

466
00:16:58,694 --> 00:16:59,914
months to the day.

467
00:17:00,399 --> 00:17:02,080
He was but he and I were super

468
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,379
close. I always tell the,

469
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,700
story of when my dad

470
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,440
was laying in a hospice bed in the

471
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,200
house where I grew up with my mom.

472
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,119
And and so my 2 brothers and my

473
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,400
mom are out here and I'm back there

474
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,299
with my dad.

475
00:17:15,995 --> 00:17:17,595
And I'm just kinda sitting there on my

476
00:17:17,674 --> 00:17:19,515
by my dad's bedside, and we're talking. And

477
00:17:19,515 --> 00:17:20,335
I was like,

478
00:17:21,035 --> 00:17:22,955
my dad hadn't said anything in 3 days.

479
00:17:22,955 --> 00:17:25,674
And so finally, I just kinda whispered like,

480
00:17:25,674 --> 00:17:27,275
hey, dad. And my dad looked up and

481
00:17:27,275 --> 00:17:28,575
opened his blue eyes.

482
00:17:29,035 --> 00:17:31,769
And, I just said, I love you, and

483
00:17:31,769 --> 00:17:33,769
thanks for being my dad. And my dad

484
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:36,009
said, I love you too. Thanks for being

485
00:17:36,009 --> 00:17:37,950
my son. And then my dad died.

486
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:39,070
Wow.

487
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:42,890
True story. Yeah. But, you know, if those

488
00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:44,750
are the last words you get,

489
00:17:45,174 --> 00:17:46,615
I don't know how it gets any better

490
00:17:46,615 --> 00:17:48,154
because we're all gonna die.

491
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:49,035
Absolutely.

492
00:17:49,815 --> 00:17:50,555
Was he

493
00:17:51,015 --> 00:17:53,595
aware enough to talk about mortality

494
00:17:54,055 --> 00:17:56,214
with you or anyone around him? Did he

495
00:17:56,214 --> 00:17:56,714
have

496
00:17:57,269 --> 00:17:59,670
an understanding and acceptance of it, especially since

497
00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:01,210
he was a religious person?

498
00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:04,390
Yeah. Absolutely. I think he was probably in

499
00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:06,470
a space where he was a religious guy

500
00:18:06,470 --> 00:18:08,410
his whole life. He believed in the hereafter.

501
00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:11,384
And, yeah, I fully believe he was, you

502
00:18:11,384 --> 00:18:13,065
know, as ready to go as you're gonna

503
00:18:13,065 --> 00:18:13,565
get.

504
00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:16,585
I think everybody my my take on that

505
00:18:16,585 --> 00:18:19,065
is sort of everybody says that until it

506
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:21,464
actually happens, and you're, like, kicking and screaming,

507
00:18:21,464 --> 00:18:22,845
like, I don't wanna go.

508
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:25,079
So I think that's true.

509
00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:27,299
Yeah. That's happened to me too. Like, again,

510
00:18:27,299 --> 00:18:27,799
in

511
00:18:28,259 --> 00:18:30,659
my in my copper selling book, I talk

512
00:18:30,659 --> 00:18:32,200
about there's I've had a

513
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:34,980
a couple of instances where,

514
00:18:36,099 --> 00:18:38,019
I was like, man, I am gonna

515
00:18:38,954 --> 00:18:40,234
I'm about to check out here and,

516
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:44,595
yeah, you you fight and scratch and claw

517
00:18:44,595 --> 00:18:46,394
and do your best to I I know

518
00:18:46,394 --> 00:18:47,755
you want people to read the book, but

519
00:18:47,755 --> 00:18:49,454
can you share an anecdotal

520
00:18:50,075 --> 00:18:52,414
or a cliff note even of that?

521
00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:55,700
Several times. When I first moved to LA,

522
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,200
I was there for about 6 months. I

523
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,019
got mugged,

524
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,759
and I got hit in the head with

525
00:18:59,759 --> 00:19:01,759
steel pipe. So they hit me in the

526
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,200
across the head, and then when I went

527
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,559
to the ground, they hit me on each

528
00:19:04,559 --> 00:19:06,559
side of my jaw with this big, probably

529
00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:07,619
3 foot pipe.

530
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:08,740
So it

531
00:19:09,575 --> 00:19:11,095
busted my head wide open and then I

532
00:19:11,095 --> 00:19:13,575
had to have my jaw wired shut for

533
00:19:13,575 --> 00:19:14,474
20 weeks.

534
00:19:14,855 --> 00:19:16,154
And I you know, I'm £175.

535
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,775
I was down to about 130. I came

536
00:19:18,775 --> 00:19:19,275
home

537
00:19:19,815 --> 00:19:22,055
after it happened and always said never saw

538
00:19:22,055 --> 00:19:23,734
my dad cry and I got off the

539
00:19:23,734 --> 00:19:24,234
plane

540
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,160
and I look like, you know, it was

541
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,880
a bad, like, see horror film. I had,

542
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,039
like, some really, you know, crappy bandages wrapped

543
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:34,259
around my head and these braces, literally braces

544
00:19:34,319 --> 00:19:35,839
on my teeth. In those days, the way

545
00:19:35,839 --> 00:19:37,519
they would wire your jaw shut is they

546
00:19:37,519 --> 00:19:38,740
would just put braces

547
00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:40,884
on your teeth and they run these wires

548
00:19:40,884 --> 00:19:42,725
up into your mandible, then they snap them

549
00:19:42,725 --> 00:19:44,644
and pull them down. So my dad I

550
00:19:44,644 --> 00:19:45,924
got off the plane and my dad just

551
00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:46,884
stood there for a minute and then he

552
00:19:46,884 --> 00:19:47,785
just started bawling.

553
00:19:48,244 --> 00:19:50,085
And I was like, okay. This is this

554
00:19:50,085 --> 00:19:51,945
is a bad deal right here.

555
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:53,919
Did you think you were going to die

556
00:19:53,919 --> 00:19:55,919
in that moment? What goes what goes through

557
00:19:55,919 --> 00:19:58,579
someone's head when that scenario is happening?

558
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,159
That that time, I all I remember, and

559
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,240
again, this is in the book, is saying

560
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,779
to myself, survive.

561
00:20:06,565 --> 00:20:08,164
That's all. I mean, the literally the blood

562
00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:09,445
was rushing out of the side of my

563
00:20:09,445 --> 00:20:10,904
head like a river. And

564
00:20:11,365 --> 00:20:13,045
so I kept thinking to myself if I

565
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,605
can just get to some place where somebody

566
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,505
can see me,

567
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,200
which I did. And then a couple other

568
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,539
instances where I was literally in the Pacific

569
00:20:21,599 --> 00:20:23,839
kayaking on a Saturday with my buddy whose

570
00:20:23,839 --> 00:20:25,919
house you were at. And, you know, the

571
00:20:25,919 --> 00:20:28,480
Pacific can go from, like, beautiful to just

572
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,919
all of a sudden I'm mad as hell

573
00:20:29,919 --> 00:20:30,819
in a heartbeat.

574
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:33,244
And so we were way too far out

575
00:20:33,244 --> 00:20:34,144
in kayaks.

576
00:20:34,684 --> 00:20:37,005
Eventually, these waves pound and pound and pound

577
00:20:37,005 --> 00:20:38,684
and I got thrown out of the boat.

578
00:20:38,684 --> 00:20:40,285
The back of the boat flipped to me

579
00:20:40,285 --> 00:20:41,964
kind of the at little point right at

580
00:20:41,964 --> 00:20:43,484
the top of the boat. Flipped me in

581
00:20:43,484 --> 00:20:44,765
the back of the head. I was like,

582
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,525
I'm drowning. I literally was at and this

583
00:20:46,525 --> 00:20:47,359
happened twice.

584
00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:49,500
And the same thing, all I can tell

585
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:50,859
you is all used and this is what

586
00:20:50,859 --> 00:20:52,940
I was kinda joking about earlier. I think

587
00:20:52,940 --> 00:20:54,700
most people go, yeah, I'm, you know, I'm

588
00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:56,779
ready. I'm good. And then when it hits

589
00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:58,700
you in the face, you're like scratching and

590
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,779
clawing, like, no. I ain't trying to go

591
00:21:00,779 --> 00:21:01,279
yet.

592
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,795
Yeah. I definitely feel that. How did your

593
00:21:04,795 --> 00:21:05,694
brother pass?

594
00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:09,115
He passed he had a stroke 2 years

595
00:21:09,115 --> 00:21:09,615
ago,

596
00:21:11,914 --> 00:21:13,994
went in the hospital, and he just, you

597
00:21:13,994 --> 00:21:15,454
know, typical stroke symptoms.

598
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:16,734
And

599
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:18,380
I guess

600
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,160
3 days after he's in the hospital, he

601
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,460
had a massive cardiopulmonary

602
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:23,660
shutdown,

603
00:21:24,759 --> 00:21:27,000
which means everything quit working. And,

604
00:21:28,519 --> 00:21:30,519
and then he basically, for all intents and

605
00:21:30,519 --> 00:21:33,335
purposes, was brain dead, if if that's the

606
00:21:34,355 --> 00:21:34,855
common

607
00:21:35,554 --> 00:21:36,615
jargon. He was

608
00:21:36,914 --> 00:21:38,755
he was brain dead, and his wife, they

609
00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:40,775
had she'd already he'd already signed a DNR.

610
00:21:41,954 --> 00:21:42,454
So,

611
00:21:42,755 --> 00:21:43,815
yeah, it was awful.

612
00:21:44,194 --> 00:21:46,194
2 it was 2 years ago, I wanna

613
00:21:46,194 --> 00:21:49,450
say May the something, but my 87 year

614
00:21:49,450 --> 00:21:51,049
old mom, you know, that's that's the one

615
00:21:51,049 --> 00:21:51,950
you don't want.

616
00:21:52,409 --> 00:21:54,269
That's a lot of loss for a mama.

617
00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:56,829
Oh. Oh.

618
00:21:57,130 --> 00:21:58,829
That's why I try to drive carefully.

619
00:21:59,690 --> 00:22:00,190
Yeah.

620
00:22:00,490 --> 00:22:02,649
Yeah. Well, I'm sorry about what are your

621
00:22:02,649 --> 00:22:03,950
dad's and brother's name?

622
00:22:04,784 --> 00:22:07,024
My dad's name was Edsel, e d s

623
00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,325
e l, like the car.

624
00:22:09,424 --> 00:22:11,345
Yeah. And but well, believe it or not,

625
00:22:11,345 --> 00:22:14,244
my dad's name was Edsel Ford James.

626
00:22:15,744 --> 00:22:18,029
What? That's great. Yeah. I swear. And everybody

627
00:22:18,029 --> 00:22:19,230
here knew him. But, again, it was a

628
00:22:19,230 --> 00:22:20,750
small town. They'd be like, oh, there's our

629
00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:21,250
Edsel.

630
00:22:21,710 --> 00:22:23,650
My older brother's name was Craig.

631
00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:26,049
Is this smoke shop still around?

632
00:22:26,589 --> 00:22:29,089
No. Uh-uh. Dad kept it for probably

633
00:22:29,894 --> 00:22:31,815
10 years. He sold it to somebody else.

634
00:22:31,815 --> 00:22:33,115
They kept it for years.

635
00:22:33,414 --> 00:22:35,095
And at some point, they turned it into

636
00:22:35,095 --> 00:22:37,035
some other something. So

637
00:22:37,494 --> 00:22:38,934
and it's on the square. It's right off

638
00:22:38,934 --> 00:22:40,615
the square, Murphy's bro. So I go by

639
00:22:40,615 --> 00:22:41,174
there. I just

640
00:22:41,830 --> 00:22:43,350
probably too many memories for me to just

641
00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:45,190
look over there and go, oh, man. What

642
00:22:45,190 --> 00:22:46,549
did you do with my I think it's

643
00:22:46,549 --> 00:22:47,369
like a Republican

644
00:22:48,070 --> 00:22:49,930
headquarters or something. Okay.

645
00:22:52,869 --> 00:22:55,005
What was do you think some of the

646
00:22:55,005 --> 00:22:57,484
best advice your father has gave you over

647
00:22:57,484 --> 00:22:58,144
the years?

648
00:22:59,164 --> 00:23:02,285
Probably if I I without me, like, giving

649
00:23:02,285 --> 00:23:04,605
you the specifics, I would say, you know,

650
00:23:04,605 --> 00:23:06,684
the songs that I wrote with Doug Johnson

651
00:23:06,684 --> 00:23:07,984
called Love Like Crazy

652
00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:09,440
is basically

653
00:23:09,980 --> 00:23:11,659
which was the number one song for Lee

654
00:23:11,659 --> 00:23:13,119
Brice is basically the

655
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:16,700
advice my dad would give. It's super simple.

656
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:19,019
The course is be a best friend, tell

657
00:23:19,019 --> 00:23:21,179
the truth, and overuse I love you. Go

658
00:23:21,179 --> 00:23:23,019
to work, do your best, and don't outsmart

659
00:23:23,019 --> 00:23:25,234
your common sense, and never let your grandees

660
00:23:25,234 --> 00:23:27,634
get lazy and love like crazy. So that's

661
00:23:27,634 --> 00:23:28,034
probably

662
00:23:29,634 --> 00:23:31,714
I can't, you know, my dad was not

663
00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:33,474
necessarily a man of a lot of words,

664
00:23:33,474 --> 00:23:36,755
but he told me several times he'd seen

665
00:23:36,755 --> 00:23:38,940
me have a few hit songs, and he

666
00:23:38,940 --> 00:23:40,299
said, I'm proud of you. I mean, you've

667
00:23:40,299 --> 00:23:41,759
done it. And I was like, well,

668
00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:43,500
that's as good as it gets in the

669
00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:45,359
South. You're not you're not gonna get, like,

670
00:23:46,539 --> 00:23:48,299
the arm around, and let's let's walk and

671
00:23:48,299 --> 00:23:50,779
talk about your accomplishments. My my parents never

672
00:23:50,940 --> 00:23:52,139
they're always like, we don't want you to

673
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:53,579
get above your raisin now. And I was

674
00:23:53,579 --> 00:23:54,319
like, why?

675
00:23:55,505 --> 00:23:58,005
Get above your raisin. That's such a classic

676
00:23:58,144 --> 00:23:58,644
southernism.

677
00:23:59,345 --> 00:24:01,265
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's my dad had a

678
00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:03,265
ton of them, but I've heard that my

679
00:24:03,265 --> 00:24:06,005
whole life. My mom, who's again, she's 87,

680
00:24:06,065 --> 00:24:06,804
still living.

681
00:24:07,319 --> 00:24:08,599
She I could give you a couple of

682
00:24:08,599 --> 00:24:11,019
funny stories, but my mom would say, like,

683
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,880
you know, don't get above your raising. And

684
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,799
when I had a I had that number

685
00:24:15,799 --> 00:24:17,919
one song with George Strait and the media

686
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:19,179
we were at BMI,

687
00:24:19,595 --> 00:24:21,515
and the media came they were like, you

688
00:24:21,515 --> 00:24:23,595
know, so my older brother was living, the

689
00:24:23,595 --> 00:24:25,275
younger brother's here, my mom and dad are

690
00:24:25,275 --> 00:24:27,595
here, and, brother and my dad had already

691
00:24:27,595 --> 00:24:29,994
passed, but my older brother had been at

692
00:24:29,994 --> 00:24:33,375
the Nissan factory for well, when he retire,

693
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:35,134
he had been there 31 years,

694
00:24:35,650 --> 00:24:37,569
but he had been there about 26 years

695
00:24:37,569 --> 00:24:38,390
at the time.

696
00:24:38,929 --> 00:24:39,670
And so

697
00:24:40,130 --> 00:24:42,230
the press is coming up and they're like,

698
00:24:42,369 --> 00:24:44,369
Tim, that's great. You had George Strait 60

699
00:24:44,369 --> 00:24:45,569
of them, and I was like, yeah, man.

700
00:24:45,569 --> 00:24:47,990
I'm just so floored. It's wonderful. I'm blessed.

701
00:24:48,424 --> 00:24:50,184
Yada yada yada. And they turned to my

702
00:24:50,184 --> 00:24:52,345
mom, and they say, miss James, I mean,

703
00:24:52,345 --> 00:24:54,345
how cool is it that Tim had George

704
00:24:54,345 --> 00:24:56,265
Strait's 60th number one song? And my mom

705
00:24:56,265 --> 00:24:58,904
said, well, I mean, that's good. That's good.

706
00:24:58,904 --> 00:25:00,505
But, you know, Craig has been at Nissan

707
00:25:00,505 --> 00:25:03,089
for 29 years, and he got a little

708
00:25:03,329 --> 00:25:05,009
she didn't want, you know, she didn't want

709
00:25:05,009 --> 00:25:06,470
me to get too much attention

710
00:25:06,930 --> 00:25:09,490
without my siblings getting some attention. And I've

711
00:25:09,490 --> 00:25:11,009
I've tried to explain to my mom a

712
00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:13,089
1,000,000. I'm she still doesn't get I'll give

713
00:25:13,089 --> 00:25:15,015
you another and you'll laugh at this.

714
00:25:15,335 --> 00:25:17,994
Last night, I went to see Stapleton

715
00:25:18,695 --> 00:25:20,855
at Bridgestone and, you know, stay I've got

716
00:25:20,855 --> 00:25:22,555
a couple I got a cut on Stapleton's

717
00:25:23,015 --> 00:25:24,875
new album, and I got one on his

718
00:25:25,095 --> 00:25:27,654
album, like, 3 albums ago. I've never seen

719
00:25:27,654 --> 00:25:29,579
him live, but I reached out and they

720
00:25:29,579 --> 00:25:30,859
gave me a couple of tickets and a

721
00:25:30,859 --> 00:25:32,160
couple passes. And

722
00:25:32,779 --> 00:25:35,099
when I talked to my mom yesterday, and

723
00:25:35,099 --> 00:25:36,960
I said, you know, I'm gonna go.

724
00:25:37,500 --> 00:25:39,740
And my mom's now mind you, this is

725
00:25:39,740 --> 00:25:41,920
not meant to be in any way demeaning.

726
00:25:42,544 --> 00:25:44,785
People don't know what they don't know. And

727
00:25:44,785 --> 00:25:46,384
my mom, even though I've been in this

728
00:25:46,384 --> 00:25:48,944
business for 30 something years, just doesn't quite

729
00:25:48,944 --> 00:25:50,404
get it. So when I said,

730
00:25:50,785 --> 00:25:52,704
well, mama probably because I call my mom

731
00:25:52,704 --> 00:25:54,464
every night, you know, kind of a maybe

732
00:25:54,464 --> 00:25:55,984
that's a sudden thing too, but I call

733
00:25:55,984 --> 00:25:57,539
her at night. And I said, mom, I'm

734
00:25:57,539 --> 00:25:59,380
not gonna be calling you tonight. I'm gonna

735
00:25:59,380 --> 00:26:01,380
be going to see Chris Stapleton. And she

736
00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:04,019
said, well, that's great. I mean, you think

737
00:26:04,019 --> 00:26:05,380
he had let you get up there and

738
00:26:05,380 --> 00:26:07,779
sing with him? This is sounds like my

739
00:26:07,779 --> 00:26:08,279
parents.

740
00:26:10,705 --> 00:26:12,705
I was like, yeah, mama. She said, well,

741
00:26:12,705 --> 00:26:14,305
I mean, y'all can sing the songs y'all

742
00:26:14,305 --> 00:26:16,065
wrote together. I was like, I don't think

743
00:26:16,065 --> 00:26:17,825
he's gonna just all of a sudden call

744
00:26:17,825 --> 00:26:20,225
out halfway through the first set. Like, ladies

745
00:26:20,225 --> 00:26:22,384
and gentlemen, let's bring up Tim James. Yeah.

746
00:26:22,384 --> 00:26:23,285
That's not good.

747
00:26:23,630 --> 00:26:25,170
Meg, when we were in Cabo,

748
00:26:25,630 --> 00:26:28,289
my mom I sent my mom a video

749
00:26:28,430 --> 00:26:31,650
of 2 orcas that breached the surface.

750
00:26:32,190 --> 00:26:33,650
And everybody, like,

751
00:26:34,110 --> 00:26:36,190
several of the girls on the boat just

752
00:26:36,190 --> 00:26:38,914
bawled, which I get it because I love

753
00:26:38,914 --> 00:26:39,974
nature. I love

754
00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:43,894
the animals. And and so these 2, baby

755
00:26:43,954 --> 00:26:46,994
and mom, just boom boom orcas out of

756
00:26:46,994 --> 00:26:49,875
the water. People are freaking out. I videoed

757
00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:51,629
it and then I sent it to my

758
00:26:51,629 --> 00:26:53,470
mom later that day, and my mom didn't

759
00:26:53,470 --> 00:26:54,210
say like,

760
00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:58,029
oh my gosh, orcas or oh, look at

761
00:26:58,029 --> 00:26:59,950
this. Look at the look at those. Mom,

762
00:26:59,950 --> 00:27:01,869
all the only comment my mom had was

763
00:27:01,869 --> 00:27:03,555
you better not be getting in that water.

764
00:27:05,315 --> 00:27:06,914
Yes. I feel like we have very similar

765
00:27:06,914 --> 00:27:07,414
parents.

766
00:27:08,195 --> 00:27:10,035
Can't see the forest for the trees. I'm

767
00:27:10,035 --> 00:27:12,355
like, just see the beauty in it, mom,

768
00:27:12,355 --> 00:27:14,134
but I just said to heck with it.

769
00:27:14,355 --> 00:27:15,174
That's hilarious.

770
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:18,295
So your mom and dad, were they

771
00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:19,400
that kind

772
00:27:20,259 --> 00:27:22,180
of, you know, you think about couples from

773
00:27:22,180 --> 00:27:23,859
way back and they just sort of they

774
00:27:23,859 --> 00:27:25,299
go along to get along and all that

775
00:27:25,299 --> 00:27:27,480
stuff, but were your parents in love?

776
00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:30,180
I would say again, 5050. I think they

777
00:27:30,180 --> 00:27:32,465
were they were just they were married for

778
00:27:32,465 --> 00:27:34,965
52 years when my dad passed away. So,

779
00:27:35,265 --> 00:27:37,525
yeah, I think they loved each other.

780
00:27:37,825 --> 00:27:40,225
I think it's highly possible in life to

781
00:27:40,225 --> 00:27:42,725
not really know what you have until you

782
00:27:42,865 --> 00:27:44,945
are with not with that any longer. I

783
00:27:44,945 --> 00:27:46,965
think my mom who's now been

784
00:27:47,450 --> 00:27:49,309
12 years without my dad.

785
00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:52,329
Yeah, I think she's definitely like, man, you

786
00:27:52,329 --> 00:27:54,990
know, I miss him. And even with people's

787
00:27:55,849 --> 00:27:57,069
faults or idiosyncrasies

788
00:27:57,369 --> 00:27:59,789
that you go, man, that's irritating as hell.

789
00:28:00,009 --> 00:28:02,225
I still think that, you know, if you

790
00:28:02,225 --> 00:28:04,144
love somebody, and I think we all learn

791
00:28:04,144 --> 00:28:06,705
this continue to learn this, like, if you

792
00:28:06,705 --> 00:28:08,085
love love is a choice.

793
00:28:08,945 --> 00:28:11,105
There there will be times that you look

794
00:28:11,105 --> 00:28:12,884
at your mate and go, I would literally

795
00:28:12,945 --> 00:28:14,565
like to push you out the window,

796
00:28:15,025 --> 00:28:17,619
but you you have to, you know, you

797
00:28:17,619 --> 00:28:19,320
make a choice to stay with somebody.

798
00:28:20,259 --> 00:28:21,940
So that's kinda I think my parents are

799
00:28:21,940 --> 00:28:24,660
probably 5050 in that regard. You love someone,

800
00:28:24,660 --> 00:28:26,340
but you're not maybe don't like them in

801
00:28:26,340 --> 00:28:27,080
the moment.

802
00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:30,039
I asked my parents once

803
00:28:30,514 --> 00:28:32,674
what the secret was to being together for

804
00:28:32,674 --> 00:28:35,974
so long. And my dad said inertia.

805
00:28:37,075 --> 00:28:38,534
And my mom said,

806
00:28:39,154 --> 00:28:41,474
the trick is that you can't wanna have

807
00:28:41,474 --> 00:28:43,014
a divorce at the same time.

808
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:46,740
I love that

809
00:28:47,279 --> 00:28:50,580
because everybody thinks about it. Somebody's gotta be

810
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,660
fighting for it if you know?

811
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,259
So Right. It's really interesting. Tell me about

812
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:57,779
when you really

813
00:28:58,799 --> 00:28:59,299
felt

814
00:29:00,154 --> 00:29:03,054
like songwriting was the thing where you thought,

815
00:29:04,234 --> 00:29:06,474
oh, yeah, this is me. This is who

816
00:29:06,474 --> 00:29:08,474
I am and what I'm doing. And did

817
00:29:08,474 --> 00:29:10,174
you ever think about doing anything else?

818
00:29:11,034 --> 00:29:12,154
Well, I would,

819
00:29:12,875 --> 00:29:14,015
I would answer those

820
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,400
backwards. Did I think about anything else? When

821
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:17,539
I got to LA,

822
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,240
I was very fortunate to fall in with

823
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,380
a crowd of people

824
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,059
that were creatives,

825
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,680
and that was all through basketball. So again,

826
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,380
I'm very grateful for basketball.

827
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,025
I went and played at Parks at Beamon

828
00:29:31,025 --> 00:29:33,045
Park and Studio City.

829
00:29:33,345 --> 00:29:35,265
My home away from home for about 8

830
00:29:35,265 --> 00:29:36,965
years was the Hollywood YMCA.

831
00:29:37,984 --> 00:29:40,065
And it was a great place with these

832
00:29:40,065 --> 00:29:41,684
great characters. And

833
00:29:42,009 --> 00:29:44,009
when I was even in sales, I would

834
00:29:44,009 --> 00:29:45,549
just go there and play basketball.

835
00:29:45,929 --> 00:29:46,429
But

836
00:29:47,210 --> 00:29:49,130
the guy saw in Las Vegas, Las Vegas

837
00:29:49,130 --> 00:29:51,289
2 weekends ago, my friend John Campanera is

838
00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:52,349
a a comedian.

839
00:29:52,890 --> 00:29:54,329
He had a show on NBC at the

840
00:29:54,329 --> 00:29:55,230
time, Clooney.

841
00:29:56,865 --> 00:29:58,384
I was with him when he came in

842
00:29:58,384 --> 00:29:59,825
and said, hey, man. I got a TV

843
00:29:59,825 --> 00:30:01,345
show. I think I'm finally going it's gonna

844
00:30:01,345 --> 00:30:02,625
make it. And I was like, oh, dude.

845
00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:03,605
What's that called?

846
00:30:03,904 --> 00:30:05,984
And he said, ER, and then I was

847
00:30:06,065 --> 00:30:07,904
and I went to his house. I think

848
00:30:07,904 --> 00:30:09,365
it was 10 years ago.

849
00:30:11,140 --> 00:30:12,259
I don't know. I was out there with

850
00:30:12,259 --> 00:30:14,099
some other buddies and they said, hey, man.

851
00:30:14,099 --> 00:30:15,960
We're gonna go to Georgia's and play basketball.

852
00:30:16,099 --> 00:30:18,500
That became like a CIA operative, which I

853
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:19,000
was,

854
00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:21,539
that's foreign to me now, the whole, like,

855
00:30:21,539 --> 00:30:24,019
you know, paparazzi and all that crap. But,

856
00:30:24,019 --> 00:30:26,934
no, I I I didn't think about doing

857
00:30:26,934 --> 00:30:29,494
anything. I was so it was so ingrained

858
00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:31,034
in me just to have a JOB

859
00:30:32,054 --> 00:30:33,674
that I kept my job.

860
00:30:34,214 --> 00:30:36,554
And my buddy, Dale Shores,

861
00:30:37,414 --> 00:30:38,474
who is a playwright,

862
00:30:39,350 --> 00:30:41,130
at the time, he was

863
00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:43,509
not a playwright. He he was just like

864
00:30:43,509 --> 00:30:46,470
everybody else, kinda struggling. And I met Dale

865
00:30:46,470 --> 00:30:48,789
through another friend of mine here, Greg Webb,

866
00:30:48,789 --> 00:30:50,835
who's from Murfreesboro that had gone out there,

867
00:30:51,075 --> 00:30:53,234
And Greg had gotten a series in no

868
00:30:53,234 --> 00:30:54,835
time. He was in a movie with Johnny

869
00:30:54,835 --> 00:30:56,615
Cash. It was just amazing.

870
00:30:56,994 --> 00:31:00,054
And so we 3 eventually became roommates

871
00:31:00,674 --> 00:31:02,914
after I've been there about probably 3 years,

872
00:31:02,914 --> 00:31:04,914
and Dell came in one night. Again, this

873
00:31:04,914 --> 00:31:05,880
is all in the

874
00:31:06,359 --> 00:31:08,440
best selling not book, but,

875
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,240
Dell came in and said, man, I want

876
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,759
you to come read for my play. I

877
00:31:12,759 --> 00:31:14,599
got my play put up, that theater theater

878
00:31:14,599 --> 00:31:15,880
on Kawhienga. And he said, I want you

879
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,319
to come read for it. And I was

880
00:31:17,319 --> 00:31:19,720
like, dude, I'm not I've never been on

881
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:20,859
stage in my life.

882
00:31:21,605 --> 00:31:24,085
Like, I'm not an actor. God forbid my

883
00:31:24,085 --> 00:31:26,325
mom hears this, but the Del said, listen,

884
00:31:26,325 --> 00:31:28,725
dude. The guy's from the south, and he

885
00:31:28,725 --> 00:31:30,904
drinks beer and chases girls. Just be yourself.

886
00:31:32,404 --> 00:31:34,244
And I said, yeah, that that's not that's

887
00:31:34,244 --> 00:31:37,109
not a compliment. So anyway, yeah, I went

888
00:31:37,109 --> 00:31:39,769
in, you know, and I read for it.

889
00:31:40,309 --> 00:31:42,390
And, and then I just left. You know?

890
00:31:42,390 --> 00:31:44,150
I was like because I talk like I

891
00:31:44,150 --> 00:31:45,910
talk, and I real wasn't ever gonna change

892
00:31:45,910 --> 00:31:48,710
that. So I I went home, and then

893
00:31:48,710 --> 00:31:51,134
Dale got home, and he comes, you know,

894
00:31:51,134 --> 00:31:53,375
barreling in the front door. And he's a

895
00:31:53,375 --> 00:31:55,375
great guy, super talented. And he just said,

896
00:31:55,375 --> 00:31:56,914
man, they loved you.

897
00:31:57,535 --> 00:31:59,615
And I was like, who's they? And he

898
00:31:59,615 --> 00:32:01,455
said, the producers. And I was like, yeah,

899
00:32:01,455 --> 00:32:03,990
I don't know, man. Whatever, dude. And so

900
00:32:03,990 --> 00:32:06,490
he said, well, you got the part of

901
00:32:06,789 --> 00:32:09,190
the understudy for the lead role. And I

902
00:32:09,190 --> 00:32:09,690
said,

903
00:32:10,070 --> 00:32:11,049
what's the understudy?

904
00:32:12,309 --> 00:32:13,670
Like, I had no idea. I was like,

905
00:32:13,670 --> 00:32:15,029
I don't I don't know what that means,

906
00:32:15,029 --> 00:32:17,275
dude. He said, well, if we fire or

907
00:32:17,275 --> 00:32:19,055
something happens to the lead actor,

908
00:32:19,674 --> 00:32:21,995
you go on. So I was like, okay,

909
00:32:21,995 --> 00:32:24,394
cool. And thinking to myself, this will never

910
00:32:24,394 --> 00:32:26,555
happen. And I was in, sales. I had

911
00:32:26,555 --> 00:32:29,115
a conference in Seattle, actually. I was at

912
00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:31,134
a conference in your hometown, and

913
00:32:31,470 --> 00:32:34,109
he called me on a phone, you know,

914
00:32:34,109 --> 00:32:35,630
probably called the room because I don't know

915
00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:37,710
that's I'm showing my age, but cell phones

916
00:32:37,710 --> 00:32:38,450
were not

917
00:32:39,150 --> 00:32:42,289
so prevalent. But he, called me and said,

918
00:32:42,589 --> 00:32:45,630
hey, man. We fired the lead guy after

919
00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:46,369
2 weeks.

920
00:32:46,705 --> 00:32:49,025
You go on Friday. And I was like,

921
00:32:49,025 --> 00:32:49,525
no.

922
00:32:50,384 --> 00:32:52,065
And he was like, yeah. I mean, you

923
00:32:52,065 --> 00:32:54,164
got the part of the understudy. So

924
00:32:54,625 --> 00:32:56,865
I I rehearsed it, you know, or I,

925
00:32:56,865 --> 00:32:59,250
you know, learned the role or the and

926
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:01,890
I had done, like, one read through, and

927
00:33:01,890 --> 00:33:02,950
then I went on

928
00:33:03,570 --> 00:33:05,410
on a Friday night at theater theater in

929
00:33:05,410 --> 00:33:07,009
front of, you know, a 100 whatever. It's

930
00:33:07,009 --> 00:33:09,410
a small theater. So I guess to answer

931
00:33:09,410 --> 00:33:10,150
your question

932
00:33:10,769 --> 00:33:11,269
that

933
00:33:11,605 --> 00:33:13,845
I never really said to myself, I want

934
00:33:13,845 --> 00:33:15,065
to be an actor.

935
00:33:15,444 --> 00:33:17,684
That was never on my radar. I guess

936
00:33:17,684 --> 00:33:20,005
as a result of being surrounded by so

937
00:33:20,005 --> 00:33:20,825
many creatives,

938
00:33:21,365 --> 00:33:23,444
whether it be and I probably told you

939
00:33:23,444 --> 00:33:25,365
this before my buddy Danny Carey is the

940
00:33:25,365 --> 00:33:26,744
drummer in that band, Toole.

941
00:33:27,210 --> 00:33:29,529
My other friends are comedians and actors. It's

942
00:33:29,529 --> 00:33:31,549
like those guys, they were nobody.

943
00:33:32,089 --> 00:33:33,869
They didn't have anything going,

944
00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:36,890
but they were super instrumental in the fact

945
00:33:36,890 --> 00:33:38,509
that they would say to me,

946
00:33:38,890 --> 00:33:41,115
what do you want to do? And I

947
00:33:41,115 --> 00:33:43,195
was like, man, I think I wanna play

948
00:33:43,195 --> 00:33:44,634
music. And they were like, well, why aren't

949
00:33:44,634 --> 00:33:45,535
you doing it?

950
00:33:45,994 --> 00:33:47,115
And I was like, you know, it's funny

951
00:33:47,115 --> 00:33:49,674
because nobody ever said that to me. So

952
00:33:49,674 --> 00:33:51,914
I finally decided to, you know, put a

953
00:33:51,914 --> 00:33:54,230
band together and start playing, and that's that's

954
00:33:54,230 --> 00:33:56,070
how I got started. That reminds me of

955
00:33:56,070 --> 00:33:58,070
a joke that my dad used to tell

956
00:33:58,070 --> 00:33:58,890
me that

957
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:01,910
either you can't complain to to God about

958
00:34:01,910 --> 00:34:03,830
not winning the lottery if you refuse to

959
00:34:03,830 --> 00:34:04,570
buy a ticket.

960
00:34:05,190 --> 00:34:07,590
Right. Right. Well, trust me. I'm the guy

961
00:34:07,590 --> 00:34:08,969
that always bought the ticket.

962
00:34:09,635 --> 00:34:11,155
Now I've got 2 kids and one of

963
00:34:11,155 --> 00:34:13,394
them is buying the tickets, and I'm like,

964
00:34:13,394 --> 00:34:15,094
oh gosh. I'm just getting paybacks.

965
00:34:15,795 --> 00:34:16,855
He's going after

966
00:34:17,155 --> 00:34:19,414
or she or they're going after music?

967
00:34:19,875 --> 00:34:22,710
No. She's just well, she's at sounds like

968
00:34:22,710 --> 00:34:24,469
a at this point when I discuss it

969
00:34:24,469 --> 00:34:26,389
with her, a very similar place in terms

970
00:34:26,389 --> 00:34:28,250
of what do I want to do.

971
00:34:28,550 --> 00:34:30,389
I don't know. And I didn't know either

972
00:34:30,389 --> 00:34:32,069
at 19. And I I don't mind the

973
00:34:32,150 --> 00:34:33,429
you know, when she said, I'm not sure

974
00:34:33,429 --> 00:34:34,869
I'm gonna go to college even though she

975
00:34:34,869 --> 00:34:37,275
was a good student. She was on a

976
00:34:37,275 --> 00:34:39,614
championship volleyball team, great athlete.

977
00:34:40,234 --> 00:34:42,715
She just said, I may not go. And

978
00:34:42,715 --> 00:34:44,715
I said, listen. That's fine. You don't have

979
00:34:44,715 --> 00:34:46,635
to go to college, not for everybody, but

980
00:34:46,635 --> 00:34:47,855
you gotta get a JOB.

981
00:34:49,579 --> 00:34:51,519
How did having kids change you?

982
00:34:51,980 --> 00:34:54,699
Certainly wrecked my sleep. I feel like that

983
00:34:54,699 --> 00:34:56,880
old Sinbad Sinbad had a

984
00:34:57,420 --> 00:34:58,860
a bit where he was like, his son

985
00:34:58,860 --> 00:35:00,460
came in, you know, he's like 12. His

986
00:35:00,460 --> 00:35:02,380
son came in, said, I hate you, dad.

987
00:35:02,380 --> 00:35:03,820
You messed up my you know, he did

988
00:35:03,820 --> 00:35:05,474
let him do something. I hate your guts.

989
00:35:05,795 --> 00:35:07,335
He said, you know, the the

990
00:35:07,954 --> 00:35:09,735
proper response would have been,

991
00:35:10,114 --> 00:35:12,595
look, you're just mad, and I love you.

992
00:35:12,595 --> 00:35:13,494
You're my son.

993
00:35:13,795 --> 00:35:15,075
Sinbad said, no. I looked at him and

994
00:35:15,075 --> 00:35:16,695
said, I hate you too, you little bastard.

995
00:35:16,835 --> 00:35:18,434
I mean, you, you know, I used to

996
00:35:18,434 --> 00:35:19,875
have a jump shot. I used to have

997
00:35:19,875 --> 00:35:21,989
hair. Look what you I ain't got nothing

998
00:35:21,989 --> 00:35:24,309
now because of you. You've wrecked me. It

999
00:35:24,309 --> 00:35:26,869
it is it's changed me, I mean, for

1000
00:35:26,869 --> 00:35:27,530
the better

1001
00:35:27,910 --> 00:35:30,789
without question. Being a dad is I was

1002
00:35:30,789 --> 00:35:32,090
telling Dean Alexander

1003
00:35:32,635 --> 00:35:34,255
this past weekend, like, dude,

1004
00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:36,875
the best compliment to me somebody can give

1005
00:35:36,875 --> 00:35:39,454
you is not, oh, you're a good songwriter

1006
00:35:39,595 --> 00:35:41,355
or you're a good is you're a good

1007
00:35:41,355 --> 00:35:43,195
dad. Somebody says you're a good dad and

1008
00:35:43,195 --> 00:35:44,974
your kids show that.

1009
00:35:45,275 --> 00:35:47,595
That's to me my greatest accomplishment at this

1010
00:35:47,595 --> 00:35:48,095
point.

1011
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,440
Yeah. And you have a son as well

1012
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,519
or 2 daughters? Two daughters. God has a

1013
00:35:52,519 --> 00:35:54,440
way of getting even with people. I was

1014
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:55,260
gonna say.

1015
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,000
That's hilarious. What made you decide to write

1016
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,160
your book? Yeah. The book is called Going

1017
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:01,660
Crazy,

1018
00:36:01,985 --> 00:36:04,065
and the subtitle is Left Foot Right Foot

1019
00:36:04,065 --> 00:36:04,565
Breathe.

1020
00:36:05,344 --> 00:36:07,344
I started it, to be honest with you,

1021
00:36:07,344 --> 00:36:09,364
like, 7 year 8 years ago,

1022
00:36:09,664 --> 00:36:11,585
just as sort of the labor of love.

1023
00:36:11,585 --> 00:36:13,105
I was like, man because I played a

1024
00:36:13,105 --> 00:36:14,164
show with the Bluebird,

1025
00:36:14,949 --> 00:36:16,710
and I kinda told the story I just

1026
00:36:16,710 --> 00:36:17,449
told you,

1027
00:36:17,829 --> 00:36:19,530
and this lady was like, that's

1028
00:36:19,829 --> 00:36:22,730
possibly the craziest story I've ever heard because

1029
00:36:23,429 --> 00:36:25,670
you're from here, yet you go to LA,

1030
00:36:25,670 --> 00:36:27,610
and then you and you work in pharmaceutical

1031
00:36:27,910 --> 00:36:30,170
sales, you end up back here,

1032
00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:33,264
and now you're like an award winning songwriter

1033
00:36:33,484 --> 00:36:36,045
after the stuff you've been through and yada

1034
00:36:36,045 --> 00:36:38,444
yada yada. When she said that, I just

1035
00:36:38,444 --> 00:36:41,164
thought, I'm gonna start, and I'm a believer,

1036
00:36:41,164 --> 00:36:42,924
and I I I'm sure you are too.

1037
00:36:42,924 --> 00:36:44,464
You know, work begets work.

1038
00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:48,280
So when I started writing the first chapter,

1039
00:36:48,420 --> 00:36:49,320
I just thought,

1040
00:36:50,420 --> 00:36:52,420
and then the more I wrote over an

1041
00:36:52,420 --> 00:36:54,500
8 year period, the more I thought this

1042
00:36:54,500 --> 00:36:55,960
is pretty good. Now

1043
00:36:56,260 --> 00:36:58,500
from a personal stamp, it it also talks

1044
00:36:58,500 --> 00:36:59,000
about

1045
00:36:59,815 --> 00:37:01,735
the music business, the ins and outs of

1046
00:37:01,735 --> 00:37:03,414
it, the way I see to get in

1047
00:37:03,414 --> 00:37:04,474
or the way I see

1048
00:37:04,855 --> 00:37:06,715
the business developing, but

1049
00:37:07,494 --> 00:37:08,394
more than that,

1050
00:37:08,934 --> 00:37:11,035
it's really a story of perseverance,

1051
00:37:12,219 --> 00:37:14,320
because whether it be, you know, me,

1052
00:37:15,739 --> 00:37:18,300
getting kicked out of junior college and then

1053
00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:19,519
flunking out of MTSU,

1054
00:37:20,059 --> 00:37:21,739
then going to LA, getting hit in the

1055
00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:24,400
head of the pipe, coming home, going back,

1056
00:37:24,860 --> 00:37:25,360
persevering

1057
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:26,880
just through, you know,

1058
00:37:27,755 --> 00:37:30,155
life in general, and then I was married

1059
00:37:30,155 --> 00:37:31,135
once out there

1060
00:37:31,434 --> 00:37:33,914
in LA, my first Mulligan, that's what I

1061
00:37:33,914 --> 00:37:35,515
like to call it for those golfers out

1062
00:37:35,515 --> 00:37:37,675
there. We got divorced and that was a

1063
00:37:37,675 --> 00:37:39,535
tough time, and then I came home

1064
00:37:39,940 --> 00:37:42,199
and I started a career basically at

1065
00:37:42,900 --> 00:37:44,760
30 5, 36 years old.

1066
00:37:45,460 --> 00:37:47,460
You get, you know, you get a lot

1067
00:37:47,460 --> 00:37:49,940
more noes than you get yeses. As you

1068
00:37:49,940 --> 00:37:52,119
know, that's kind of when you're pitching anything

1069
00:37:52,420 --> 00:37:54,179
in the creative world, you get a tremendous

1070
00:37:54,179 --> 00:37:55,079
amount of rejection.

1071
00:37:55,535 --> 00:37:58,094
Then I met a girl who sang the

1072
00:37:58,094 --> 00:37:59,775
blues and I asked her for some happy

1073
00:38:00,094 --> 00:38:02,594
no. I met a girl and we

1074
00:38:03,135 --> 00:38:05,055
fell and then we got married and it

1075
00:38:05,055 --> 00:38:05,555
was

1076
00:38:06,494 --> 00:38:08,300
far as I knew, it was great. But

1077
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:10,539
we were married for 20 years together for

1078
00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:11,039
22,

1079
00:38:11,980 --> 00:38:14,639
and then she decided she wanted divorce,

1080
00:38:15,179 --> 00:38:17,679
and we have 2 children and that

1081
00:38:18,539 --> 00:38:20,619
again, you if you take the things we've

1082
00:38:20,619 --> 00:38:22,934
discussed, I would say, you know,

1083
00:38:24,034 --> 00:38:25,954
just sort of wandering through life and then

1084
00:38:25,954 --> 00:38:27,154
getting hit in the head with a pipe

1085
00:38:27,154 --> 00:38:27,734
and then,

1086
00:38:28,194 --> 00:38:30,135
divorce, and then just

1087
00:38:30,755 --> 00:38:33,014
losing my dad, losing my brother. And,

1088
00:38:33,635 --> 00:38:34,135
ultimately,

1089
00:38:34,835 --> 00:38:35,894
what I became

1090
00:38:36,570 --> 00:38:37,630
much more empathetic

1091
00:38:38,010 --> 00:38:38,510
towards

1092
00:38:39,210 --> 00:38:41,690
during the last 8 years is people that

1093
00:38:41,690 --> 00:38:43,309
have mental health issues.

1094
00:38:44,410 --> 00:38:44,910
Because

1095
00:38:46,090 --> 00:38:48,570
when people to me, and I say this

1096
00:38:48,570 --> 00:38:50,590
in the book, when people say

1097
00:38:50,894 --> 00:38:53,054
somebody else can't make and you may disagree,

1098
00:38:53,054 --> 00:38:56,094
that's fine. Somebody else can't make you feel

1099
00:38:56,094 --> 00:38:57,074
a certain way.

1100
00:38:57,454 --> 00:39:00,355
I disagree. Like, I would say that

1101
00:39:01,215 --> 00:39:01,715
if

1102
00:39:02,094 --> 00:39:04,175
in my in my personal experience, if life

1103
00:39:04,175 --> 00:39:06,179
is rolling along in a very comfortable normal

1104
00:39:06,179 --> 00:39:07,859
pace and all of a sudden the apple

1105
00:39:07,859 --> 00:39:09,320
cart is completely upended,

1106
00:39:10,579 --> 00:39:12,659
you can certainly look at yourself in the

1107
00:39:12,659 --> 00:39:13,880
mirror and go,

1108
00:39:14,659 --> 00:39:17,139
is this is it me? Or or what

1109
00:39:17,139 --> 00:39:17,960
what exactly

1110
00:39:18,659 --> 00:39:20,839
am I bringing to the table that's causing

1111
00:39:20,980 --> 00:39:21,480
this

1112
00:39:22,155 --> 00:39:22,735
to happen?

1113
00:39:23,434 --> 00:39:26,255
I became much more empathetic towards

1114
00:39:27,755 --> 00:39:30,394
again, the examples I use, one is Anthony

1115
00:39:30,394 --> 00:39:30,894
Bourdain,

1116
00:39:31,755 --> 00:39:33,594
like, who was I found to be a

1117
00:39:33,594 --> 00:39:36,700
fascinating dude. And, you know, in his last

1118
00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:39,420
show, he's like, I'm drinking the finest wine

1119
00:39:39,420 --> 00:39:40,559
in Greece and

1120
00:39:41,260 --> 00:39:43,180
but I have to ask myself, would I

1121
00:39:43,180 --> 00:39:44,400
rather be here

1122
00:39:45,180 --> 00:39:45,680
experiencing

1123
00:39:46,059 --> 00:39:48,619
the fine things? When I say fine, you

1124
00:39:48,619 --> 00:39:50,264
know what I mean,

1125
00:39:50,585 --> 00:39:52,425
or would I be would I rather be

1126
00:39:52,425 --> 00:39:54,684
home with my daughter and my wife

1127
00:39:54,984 --> 00:39:58,585
eating like top ramen and microwave popcorn? And

1128
00:39:58,585 --> 00:40:01,085
he said, without question, it's the latter.

1129
00:40:01,710 --> 00:40:04,429
And so when you that's taken from you

1130
00:40:04,429 --> 00:40:06,449
as a dad, when somebody says,

1131
00:40:06,909 --> 00:40:09,789
okay, not only are we done, but and

1132
00:40:09,789 --> 00:40:11,550
this is just that I'm not trying to

1133
00:40:11,550 --> 00:40:12,530
run her down.

1134
00:40:12,909 --> 00:40:16,235
The nature of divorce is that assets and

1135
00:40:16,235 --> 00:40:17,375
custody is,

1136
00:40:17,755 --> 00:40:20,075
in a lot of cases, 5050, which ours

1137
00:40:20,075 --> 00:40:21,135
is and was,

1138
00:40:21,914 --> 00:40:24,715
it causes you to and couple that just

1139
00:40:24,715 --> 00:40:25,215
with

1140
00:40:25,675 --> 00:40:27,675
the world today as you and I also

1141
00:40:27,675 --> 00:40:29,515
have discussed where I've scratched my head about

1142
00:40:29,515 --> 00:40:30,335
certain things.

1143
00:40:30,969 --> 00:40:33,769
Then I I became much more empathetic to

1144
00:40:33,769 --> 00:40:35,630
people that go, yes, screw it, man.

1145
00:40:36,170 --> 00:40:38,329
I can't handle this anymore. I'm out. I'm

1146
00:40:38,329 --> 00:40:41,130
checking out. Now that never actually crossed my

1147
00:40:41,130 --> 00:40:41,630
mind.

1148
00:40:41,930 --> 00:40:43,230
You're talking about suicide?

1149
00:40:43,930 --> 00:40:44,750
Yeah. Uh-huh.

1150
00:40:45,405 --> 00:40:47,324
Because that's what happened with him. He was

1151
00:40:47,324 --> 00:40:48,765
just like, you know what? I can't handle

1152
00:40:48,765 --> 00:40:50,545
it. It's too much. Kate Spade.

1153
00:40:51,085 --> 00:40:52,605
People that just go, you know, you know

1154
00:40:52,605 --> 00:40:55,184
what? Screw it, man. I'm out. And again,

1155
00:40:55,324 --> 00:40:57,405
if I'm being transparent, which I have a

1156
00:40:57,405 --> 00:40:58,465
tendency to be,

1157
00:40:59,489 --> 00:41:02,309
that never crossed my mind. But I understood

1158
00:41:02,690 --> 00:41:04,929
as I laid in the bed with 2

1159
00:41:04,929 --> 00:41:05,429
dogs

1160
00:41:05,730 --> 00:41:08,469
talking to them like they're humans full on,

1161
00:41:08,849 --> 00:41:11,409
and I'm thinking I have absolutely lost my

1162
00:41:11,409 --> 00:41:11,909
marbles.

1163
00:41:12,315 --> 00:41:14,815
But what I've learned to do

1164
00:41:15,514 --> 00:41:18,155
during my going crazy period was to get

1165
00:41:18,155 --> 00:41:19,214
up the next morning,

1166
00:41:19,755 --> 00:41:21,614
left foot, right foot, breathe.

1167
00:41:23,275 --> 00:41:25,695
Do you think it was really,

1168
00:41:26,579 --> 00:41:29,860
quote going crazy unquote or do you think

1169
00:41:29,860 --> 00:41:30,920
you were just

1170
00:41:31,700 --> 00:41:32,519
in grief?

1171
00:41:34,099 --> 00:41:36,260
I think grief can cause you to feel

1172
00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:37,400
like you're going crazy.

1173
00:41:38,625 --> 00:41:41,525
And and, you know, I don't know that

1174
00:41:41,585 --> 00:41:44,565
any of us are great at processing grief.

1175
00:41:44,704 --> 00:41:45,765
The way I

1176
00:41:46,144 --> 00:41:49,525
process grief is to let it overwhelm me

1177
00:41:49,824 --> 00:41:52,065
and then say, I've got to try to

1178
00:41:52,065 --> 00:41:53,204
wash this clean.

1179
00:41:53,550 --> 00:41:55,170
A matter of fact, I told somebody

1180
00:41:55,630 --> 00:41:57,730
some of our friends last weekend, like,

1181
00:41:58,989 --> 00:42:00,989
years ago when I went to the Gulf

1182
00:42:00,989 --> 00:42:01,489
Coast

1183
00:42:02,269 --> 00:42:03,090
post divorce

1184
00:42:03,550 --> 00:42:05,170
by myself, I was like,

1185
00:42:05,565 --> 00:42:07,164
I you always have to walk through a

1186
00:42:07,164 --> 00:42:08,925
little muddy water to get to the clear

1187
00:42:08,925 --> 00:42:11,484
water. That's because the sand turns it up

1188
00:42:11,484 --> 00:42:12,385
at the shore.

1189
00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:13,984
And so

1190
00:42:14,525 --> 00:42:16,684
I thought that's kind of my that's life

1191
00:42:16,684 --> 00:42:18,684
for me. As I always say, I gotta

1192
00:42:18,684 --> 00:42:20,799
get through the muddy water to get to

1193
00:42:20,799 --> 00:42:23,219
the clear, and that's that's what I did.

1194
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:24,900
Yeah.

1195
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:27,619
Having been divorced twice,

1196
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,819
do you sit back then and

1197
00:42:31,119 --> 00:42:33,519
as you said, figure out how what you

1198
00:42:33,519 --> 00:42:35,380
brought or did not bring,

1199
00:42:35,954 --> 00:42:36,454
or

1200
00:42:36,914 --> 00:42:37,894
do you think

1201
00:42:38,355 --> 00:42:40,454
you're still learning that lesson?

1202
00:42:40,835 --> 00:42:41,815
How does one

1203
00:42:42,275 --> 00:42:45,075
go through life after 2 divorces, and now

1204
00:42:45,075 --> 00:42:47,795
when you date or you meet people, does

1205
00:42:47,795 --> 00:42:49,235
that, in the back of your head, think,

1206
00:42:49,235 --> 00:42:51,570
oh, this will only go downhill? Because I

1207
00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:53,269
think a lot of us think that

1208
00:42:53,650 --> 00:42:56,150
who have been through some traumatic relationships.

1209
00:42:56,930 --> 00:42:59,110
How do you wrap your head around that?

1210
00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:01,410
Well, I don't think I did anything because

1211
00:43:01,410 --> 00:43:02,309
I'm perfect.

1212
00:43:04,265 --> 00:43:05,505
No. No. No. No. No. I I definitely

1213
00:43:05,704 --> 00:43:06,925
There's your trouble.

1214
00:43:09,305 --> 00:43:11,405
Right. No. I definitely had to, you know,

1215
00:43:11,465 --> 00:43:13,625
say, yeah, what am I not bringing or

1216
00:43:13,625 --> 00:43:15,465
bringing to the table that's contributing to this

1217
00:43:15,465 --> 00:43:18,079
in some way? Does it trip you up

1218
00:43:18,079 --> 00:43:20,099
as you move forward in relationship?

1219
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,800
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, do you find

1220
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,480
I would think you find the same thing.

1221
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,180
Like, the way I say it is,

1222
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:28,320
if you put your hand on a hot

1223
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:29,840
plate the first time you didn't know it's

1224
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,094
hot, you go, damn. And the second time,

1225
00:43:32,094 --> 00:43:33,695
if you do it, if you do it

1226
00:43:33,695 --> 00:43:35,934
a 3rd time, you need you might need

1227
00:43:35,934 --> 00:43:37,795
to get that noggin checked. And

1228
00:43:38,414 --> 00:43:42,015
for me, like, I'm I date. I've dated,

1229
00:43:42,015 --> 00:43:44,434
and I'm dating now. It's awful.

1230
00:43:45,050 --> 00:43:46,829
I mean, I shouldn't say that. Right?

1231
00:43:47,849 --> 00:43:49,469
Well, we'll delete that.

1232
00:43:50,090 --> 00:43:53,289
Right. She's great, but dating is awful. It's

1233
00:43:53,289 --> 00:43:55,150
just yeah. Like, I absolutely

1234
00:43:55,690 --> 00:43:57,369
am at a place where I go, man,

1235
00:43:57,369 --> 00:43:58,809
I don't know that I'll ever do that

1236
00:43:58,809 --> 00:44:01,784
again. And in terms of just even opening

1237
00:44:01,784 --> 00:44:02,525
up to somebody

1238
00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:05,465
where you feel comfortable and you're not gonna

1239
00:44:05,465 --> 00:44:08,764
get your feelings stomped on, that takes

1240
00:44:09,065 --> 00:44:09,565
trust.

1241
00:44:09,945 --> 00:44:13,405
And trust again, when you have been burned,

1242
00:44:13,465 --> 00:44:15,164
you you lose that trust.

1243
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,480
It takes bravery as well. I think that's

1244
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,260
maybe the hardest thing is

1245
00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:22,800
I say this a lot to not put

1246
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,039
other to not put people in prison for

1247
00:44:25,039 --> 00:44:26,820
crimes that other people committed.

1248
00:44:27,599 --> 00:44:29,700
Right. That's really hard

1249
00:44:30,079 --> 00:44:32,525
and to not do it to yourself as

1250
00:44:32,525 --> 00:44:33,025
well.

1251
00:44:34,045 --> 00:44:36,765
Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. So yeah. I mean, I've

1252
00:44:36,765 --> 00:44:37,825
worked through it.

1253
00:44:38,845 --> 00:44:40,545
I'm trying to say,

1254
00:44:40,925 --> 00:44:43,265
you know, I don't necessarily just believe in,

1255
00:44:43,724 --> 00:44:44,224
unequivocally

1256
00:44:44,525 --> 00:44:45,985
trusting the universe.

1257
00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:47,780
I think that

1258
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:51,039
there are things you can do or in

1259
00:44:51,039 --> 00:44:52,500
other words, for me,

1260
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,579
I don't think any everything is work or,

1261
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:00,820
driven by your desire to succeed, but

1262
00:45:01,974 --> 00:45:02,875
in my case,

1263
00:45:03,335 --> 00:45:04,875
I say I gotta do the work.

1264
00:45:05,175 --> 00:45:07,434
And the best joke I ever heard

1265
00:45:07,894 --> 00:45:10,234
was, you know, even in terms of spirituality

1266
00:45:10,454 --> 00:45:13,114
was the guy, you know, in the kayak

1267
00:45:13,175 --> 00:45:14,155
off the coast,

1268
00:45:14,454 --> 00:45:16,820
the kayak goes over and he, like, he

1269
00:45:16,820 --> 00:45:18,199
started to take on water,

1270
00:45:18,500 --> 00:45:20,260
and he can't get the boat back. And

1271
00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:22,019
so a guy in a kayak comes by

1272
00:45:22,019 --> 00:45:23,800
and says, dude, are you okay?

1273
00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:26,579
And the guy says, yeah, man. He's a

1274
00:45:26,579 --> 00:45:28,420
religious guy. I said, yeah, I'm okay. God's

1275
00:45:28,420 --> 00:45:31,380
got so the dude's Picoli paddles off, you

1276
00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:32,744
know, and then,

1277
00:45:33,065 --> 00:45:35,385
he's starting to, like, submerge and a kinda

1278
00:45:35,385 --> 00:45:36,984
speedboat comes by and, like, hey, man. You

1279
00:45:36,984 --> 00:45:39,304
okay? Because, yeah, man. God's got me. And

1280
00:45:39,304 --> 00:45:41,625
then finally, he's starting to freaking drown and

1281
00:45:41,625 --> 00:45:43,625
a a barge comes by and says, man,

1282
00:45:43,625 --> 00:45:45,324
are you okay? And the guy's like,

1283
00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:47,750
God's got me, and the guy drowns.

1284
00:45:48,289 --> 00:45:51,170
Just like seconds later, gets to heaven and

1285
00:45:51,170 --> 00:45:52,930
says to God, hey, I mean, I thought

1286
00:45:52,930 --> 00:45:54,710
you're gonna save me. And I said, hey,

1287
00:45:54,930 --> 00:45:57,090
I sent a kayak and a speedboat in

1288
00:45:57,090 --> 00:45:59,570
a barge. So you gotta participate in this

1289
00:45:59,570 --> 00:46:01,510
little project called life or

1290
00:46:02,074 --> 00:46:04,315
it ain't gonna happen. That's a classic one

1291
00:46:04,315 --> 00:46:06,815
for sure. And I agree with that wholeheartedly.

1292
00:46:07,434 --> 00:46:08,414
Also, I think

1293
00:46:09,355 --> 00:46:09,855
humans

1294
00:46:10,875 --> 00:46:11,375
are

1295
00:46:11,914 --> 00:46:14,234
in future cast mode a lot of the

1296
00:46:14,234 --> 00:46:16,460
time. What's gonna be the outcome? What's gonna

1297
00:46:16,460 --> 00:46:18,059
be the outcome? Am I gonna have this

1298
00:46:18,059 --> 00:46:20,940
happen? Is this gonna happen? And, honestly, it's

1299
00:46:20,940 --> 00:46:22,940
such a waste of energy. I think it's

1300
00:46:22,940 --> 00:46:25,659
good to have an idea of what it

1301
00:46:25,659 --> 00:46:28,300
feels like, not what it looks like, but

1302
00:46:28,300 --> 00:46:30,505
what it feels like when you get to

1303
00:46:30,505 --> 00:46:32,844
the thing you wanna get to, and then

1304
00:46:33,625 --> 00:46:36,284
work in the now to make that happen.

1305
00:46:36,905 --> 00:46:39,304
Yeah. I think you're exactly right. I think

1306
00:46:39,304 --> 00:46:41,724
that's difficult, and I think Jim Carey

1307
00:46:42,339 --> 00:46:44,179
recently said something to the effect of I

1308
00:46:44,179 --> 00:46:45,000
wish everybody

1309
00:46:45,380 --> 00:46:47,300
could make all the money that they want

1310
00:46:47,300 --> 00:46:49,859
and achieve their wildest dreams so they would

1311
00:46:49,859 --> 00:46:51,800
see that as not where happiness lies.

1312
00:46:52,579 --> 00:46:55,034
But again, on paper, as I used to

1313
00:46:55,034 --> 00:46:57,194
say years ago, there was a songwriter here

1314
00:46:57,194 --> 00:46:58,875
when I first came back and had my

1315
00:46:58,875 --> 00:47:01,275
first number one, and he would say, Tim,

1316
00:47:01,275 --> 00:47:02,574
never do it for the money.

1317
00:47:03,114 --> 00:47:04,954
In the meantime, he had 20 something number

1318
00:47:04,954 --> 00:47:06,414
1 songs, and he's worth $20,000,000.

1319
00:47:07,194 --> 00:47:08,714
It's easy for you to say don't do

1320
00:47:08,714 --> 00:47:09,614
it for the money

1321
00:47:10,050 --> 00:47:10,949
because you're loaded.

1322
00:47:12,289 --> 00:47:12,789
Yeah.

1323
00:47:13,090 --> 00:47:14,849
Although most of the really rich people I

1324
00:47:14,849 --> 00:47:16,849
know aren't super happy, and the people that

1325
00:47:16,849 --> 00:47:17,349
are

1326
00:47:17,809 --> 00:47:20,050
in some ways just getting by even though

1327
00:47:20,050 --> 00:47:21,510
it's a stressful life,

1328
00:47:21,809 --> 00:47:22,309
creatives.

1329
00:47:22,684 --> 00:47:25,984
You know? It's a stressful life, but, also,

1330
00:47:26,204 --> 00:47:27,905
I think there is a a

1331
00:47:29,644 --> 00:47:31,585
beauty in it because you are

1332
00:47:32,204 --> 00:47:35,105
you are living against that day to day.

1333
00:47:35,164 --> 00:47:37,724
You you're forced into this the place where

1334
00:47:37,724 --> 00:47:40,039
you are, and so you see things

1335
00:47:40,340 --> 00:47:41,239
more clearly.

1336
00:47:42,900 --> 00:47:45,619
Maybe that's not everyone, but that's certainly how

1337
00:47:45,619 --> 00:47:47,700
I feel a lot of times. I like

1338
00:47:47,700 --> 00:47:50,594
that. Yeah. So tell everybody how they might

1339
00:47:50,594 --> 00:47:52,355
find you and where they can get the

1340
00:47:52,355 --> 00:47:54,355
book and and where they can listen to

1341
00:47:54,355 --> 00:47:55,094
your songs.

1342
00:47:55,474 --> 00:47:57,474
All all my stuff is on my website,

1343
00:47:57,474 --> 00:47:58,695
which is the timjames.com.

1344
00:48:00,514 --> 00:48:02,434
It sounds super cheesy, but they didn't have

1345
00:48:02,434 --> 00:48:04,909
anything else left. So it's the timjames.com.

1346
00:48:05,369 --> 00:48:07,289
You can buy the book on Amazon. You

1347
00:48:07,289 --> 00:48:08,349
can buy it at barnesandnoble.com.

1348
00:48:09,369 --> 00:48:10,889
It's a good read. I mean, every to

1349
00:48:10,889 --> 00:48:13,130
be honest with you, most of the people

1350
00:48:13,130 --> 00:48:15,289
that I know that have read it said

1351
00:48:15,289 --> 00:48:16,829
I read it in one sitting.

1352
00:48:17,405 --> 00:48:19,565
Like, it's something that grabs your attention. I

1353
00:48:19,565 --> 00:48:21,264
tried I tried to put it in sort

1354
00:48:21,484 --> 00:48:23,804
of common speak, like, because I don't want

1355
00:48:23,804 --> 00:48:25,484
to read a book that I every other

1356
00:48:25,484 --> 00:48:26,704
word, I need a thesaurus.

1357
00:48:27,565 --> 00:48:28,065
So

1358
00:48:28,844 --> 00:48:30,464
I wrote it like I speak.

1359
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,079
So people say and the stories are they're

1360
00:48:33,079 --> 00:48:35,000
raw, I gotta tell you. I mean, they

1361
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,800
are very raw where I say, again, I've

1362
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,720
there's times I thought I could play handball

1363
00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:41,400
with the curve, where I could've kissed a

1364
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:44,119
snake's ass. I mean, that's how low you

1365
00:48:44,119 --> 00:48:44,940
can get,

1366
00:48:45,414 --> 00:48:47,355
So I've been there and done that.

1367
00:48:47,974 --> 00:48:49,914
How'd you find your way back from

1368
00:48:50,214 --> 00:48:50,714
your

1369
00:48:51,174 --> 00:48:53,755
self described madness? Just participating

1370
00:48:54,054 --> 00:48:55,514
again every day

1371
00:48:55,815 --> 00:48:56,954
thinking to myself,

1372
00:48:57,890 --> 00:48:59,989
this moment may not be better,

1373
00:49:00,690 --> 00:49:01,190
but

1374
00:49:01,650 --> 00:49:03,650
it may be better this afternoon. And again,

1375
00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:05,410
I just walked through the muddy water. I

1376
00:49:05,410 --> 00:49:08,289
did it. I'm also a big fan of

1377
00:49:08,289 --> 00:49:08,789
exercise.

1378
00:49:09,554 --> 00:49:10,755
So my sort of,

1379
00:49:11,714 --> 00:49:12,214
salvation

1380
00:49:12,594 --> 00:49:13,094
was

1381
00:49:13,875 --> 00:49:16,135
when most people go to the bar, I

1382
00:49:16,194 --> 00:49:17,014
go to,

1383
00:49:18,434 --> 00:49:19,094
the gym,

1384
00:49:19,635 --> 00:49:21,394
and I'm able to sort of get out

1385
00:49:21,394 --> 00:49:21,894
my

1386
00:49:23,650 --> 00:49:24,150
frustrations

1387
00:49:24,530 --> 00:49:25,989
at the gym and

1388
00:49:26,289 --> 00:49:27,910
Although you do have good tequila

1389
00:49:29,410 --> 00:49:31,969
anytime I've been around you. I gotta I

1390
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,449
gotta sweat out some tequila from Cabo. Trust

1391
00:49:34,449 --> 00:49:34,949
me.

1392
00:49:37,494 --> 00:49:39,255
But, yeah, it's a it's a it's a

1393
00:49:39,255 --> 00:49:39,755
available

1394
00:49:40,215 --> 00:49:42,454
Amazon is the easiest way, but my website

1395
00:49:42,454 --> 00:49:43,835
is the timjames.com.

1396
00:49:44,375 --> 00:49:45,894
And, yeah, go buy it. I appreciate you

1397
00:49:45,894 --> 00:49:48,295
having me. Absolutely. And I'll put links on

1398
00:49:48,295 --> 00:49:48,795
heyhumanpodcast.com

1399
00:49:49,974 --> 00:49:52,880
as always. And, Tim, I love you. I

1400
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,760
think you're great. I'm always delighted talking with

1401
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:57,219
you. Quite philosophical,

1402
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,340
observant person, and I think

1403
00:50:01,039 --> 00:50:03,360
those types of people can be rare, so

1404
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:06,125
it's always a pleasure for me. Well, likewise.

1405
00:50:06,125 --> 00:50:07,724
I always enjoy talking to you. I find

1406
00:50:07,724 --> 00:50:09,964
you to be interesting and pretty and all

1407
00:50:09,964 --> 00:50:11,964
the good things that the world needs. So

1408
00:50:12,045 --> 00:50:12,545
Shucks.

1409
00:50:14,525 --> 00:50:17,484
Alright. Thank you. Thanks, Tim, and thanks for

1410
00:50:17,484 --> 00:50:18,464
listening, everybody.

1411
00:50:19,085 --> 00:50:19,585
Bye.

1412
00:50:22,369 --> 00:50:24,929
Great. Review and subscribe to Hey Human Podcast

1413
00:50:24,929 --> 00:50:27,190
on Itunes or wherever you get your podcasts.

1414
00:50:27,489 --> 00:50:28,789
Thanks. Bye.