1 00:00:07,919 --> 00:00:10,800 Hey, humans. How's it going? Susan Ruth here. 2 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,740 Thanks for listening to another episode 3 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:14,580 of Hey, Human podcast. 4 00:00:15,894 --> 00:00:17,274 This is episode 424, 5 00:00:17,894 --> 00:00:19,995 and my guest is Vex Bennett. 6 00:00:20,774 --> 00:00:21,914 Vex is neurodivergent 7 00:00:22,375 --> 00:00:23,994 on the autism spectrum 8 00:00:24,375 --> 00:00:25,275 with OSDD, 9 00:00:26,614 --> 00:00:28,554 which is other specified 10 00:00:28,935 --> 00:00:29,435 dissociative 11 00:00:29,814 --> 00:00:30,314 disorder, 12 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,600 and is a host of a system of 13 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,100 alters. 14 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,700 Vex is also a Therian. Therians identify 15 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:41,119 as a non human animal or animals while 16 00:00:41,119 --> 00:00:42,420 knowing they are human, 17 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,500 but relating spiritually, 18 00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:47,844 psychologically, and or emotionally to the essence 19 00:00:48,304 --> 00:00:50,244 or behaviors of the animal. 20 00:00:50,864 --> 00:00:53,765 Therians are not furries. That's a big misconception. 21 00:00:55,104 --> 00:00:57,445 I had a lovely conversation with Vex and 22 00:00:58,384 --> 00:01:00,390 learned a whole lot. It was interesting also 23 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:02,070 because I grew up in a family that 24 00:01:02,070 --> 00:01:03,689 had complicated emotional 25 00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:05,370 stuff going on, and 26 00:01:05,909 --> 00:01:08,469 Vex as well has complicated emotional stuff going 27 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:09,849 on. And I think it's important 28 00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:12,489 to hear these stories because, 29 00:01:13,585 --> 00:01:15,265 you know, the world is made up of 30 00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:16,965 all sorts of people. And 31 00:01:17,505 --> 00:01:19,665 the more we know about each other, the 32 00:01:19,665 --> 00:01:22,545 better off we'll all be. It brings us 33 00:01:22,545 --> 00:01:24,965 into a place of empathy and humanity 34 00:01:26,049 --> 00:01:26,630 and compassion. 35 00:01:27,329 --> 00:01:30,469 And Vex is is lovely, and I really, 36 00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:32,230 really enjoyed the conversation. 37 00:01:33,409 --> 00:01:36,209 General Stuff, Hey Human Podcast, is now on 38 00:01:36,209 --> 00:01:39,484 YouTube under official Susan Ruth. There's other videos 39 00:01:39,484 --> 00:01:41,325 on there as well of me performing and 40 00:01:41,325 --> 00:01:44,045 all sorts of stuff. But just FYI, the 41 00:01:44,045 --> 00:01:46,765 the podcast is there. I'm on Patreon at 42 00:01:46,765 --> 00:01:47,265 susanruthism, 43 00:01:48,364 --> 00:01:50,924 and it's really helpful, all of you who 44 00:01:50,924 --> 00:01:51,424 are 45 00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:53,549 becoming my Patreon 46 00:01:54,329 --> 00:01:54,829 people, 47 00:01:55,370 --> 00:01:57,530 because this is an ad free podcast and 48 00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:59,709 it helps support the show. 49 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:00,750 TikTok, 50 00:02:01,130 --> 00:02:02,590 you can find me at susanruthism. 51 00:02:03,784 --> 00:02:04,685 Check out heyhumanpodcast.com 52 00:02:06,185 --> 00:02:07,865 for links and to learn more about my 53 00:02:07,865 --> 00:02:09,004 guests in the show. 54 00:02:09,384 --> 00:02:10,365 Check out susanruth.com 55 00:02:11,145 --> 00:02:12,585 to learn more about me and my other 56 00:02:12,585 --> 00:02:13,645 artistic endeavors, 57 00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:15,724 and follow susanruthism, 58 00:02:16,665 --> 00:02:18,610 that's s u s anruthism, 59 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:23,489 on social media. Find my albums on Spotify, 60 00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:27,150 Apple Music, Amazon Music, or wherever you get 61 00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:30,109 your music, and rate, review, and subscribe to 62 00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:33,375 Hey Human Podcast on iTunes or Iheart or 63 00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:35,314 Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts. 64 00:02:36,094 --> 00:02:38,974 Alright. Thank you for listening. Be well. Be 65 00:02:38,974 --> 00:02:39,474 kind. 66 00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:40,594 Be love. 67 00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:41,794 Here we go. 68 00:02:44,909 --> 00:02:47,169 Vex Bennett, welcome to Hey Human. 69 00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:49,790 Hi. It's so good to be here. Thank 70 00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:51,629 you so much for inviting me on. It 71 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,490 was the last thing I expected. 72 00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:56,370 Well, expect the unexpected. 73 00:02:57,584 --> 00:02:58,324 True. True. 74 00:02:58,784 --> 00:03:01,185 I saw one of your posts. I'm trying 75 00:03:01,185 --> 00:03:03,125 to remember now if it was on Instagram 76 00:03:03,185 --> 00:03:03,924 or TikTok, 77 00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:07,264 but I was intrigued by your story, and 78 00:03:07,264 --> 00:03:08,164 I thought, well, 79 00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:10,544 I'm gonna reach out. We'll see what happens 80 00:03:10,544 --> 00:03:12,625 next. So I'm so glad you're here. Where 81 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,680 are you from? What shaped you as you 82 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,939 were growing up? I am from California. 83 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,639 I grew up in a suburban area. Growing 84 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:22,120 up, I lived with my mom and my 85 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,139 dad and my older sister. 86 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,500 I went to 87 00:03:26,264 --> 00:03:28,824 pretty much just, like, a normal school. I 88 00:03:28,824 --> 00:03:30,504 grew up with some close friends who live 89 00:03:30,504 --> 00:03:31,004 nearby. 90 00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:33,385 I was in, like, a weird social clique. 91 00:03:33,385 --> 00:03:34,125 The neurodivergent 92 00:03:34,504 --> 00:03:37,305 children who, you know, weren't diagnosed for anything 93 00:03:37,305 --> 00:03:39,544 but very much had something going on, we 94 00:03:39,544 --> 00:03:41,349 all kind of gravitated towards each other. We 95 00:03:41,349 --> 00:03:43,430 were a tight knit group, moved around a 96 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:46,069 lot, didn't really stay in one place for 97 00:03:46,069 --> 00:03:48,889 more than 4 years. Military family or 98 00:03:49,349 --> 00:03:51,189 Oh, no. We were just renting houses left 99 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,625 and right. I'm not sure why we didn't 100 00:03:53,764 --> 00:03:55,844 buy some place and settle down. Probably just 101 00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:58,564 money issues, but we weren't poor or anything. 102 00:03:58,564 --> 00:03:59,784 We were very comfortable. 103 00:04:00,245 --> 00:04:03,305 And as, we went into high school, unfortunately, 104 00:04:03,525 --> 00:04:06,469 my parents did split up. Well, middle school 105 00:04:06,530 --> 00:04:09,030 then into high school, parents split up. So, 106 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,729 it was a bit rough having to adjust 107 00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,650 to that, go back and forth. I did 108 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:15,490 end up finding a different group of friends. 109 00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:16,850 I'm still in touch with some of my 110 00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:18,230 elementary school friends, 111 00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:20,615 but it was a big adjustment. 112 00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:23,175 I struggled with mental health a lot 113 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,375 and identity. 114 00:04:25,074 --> 00:04:26,995 Nowadays, I feel like I'm at a point 115 00:04:26,995 --> 00:04:28,834 in my life where I kind of know 116 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:30,435 who I am more or less, and I'm 117 00:04:30,435 --> 00:04:31,415 happy with it. 118 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,959 Yeah. I mean, and we all have room 119 00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:36,519 to grow. I've I feel like I'm a 120 00:04:36,519 --> 00:04:39,079 different person than I was when I was 121 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,000 a teenager, for sure. I'm a different person 122 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,759 than in my twenties and so on and 123 00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:43,419 so on. 124 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:44,220 And, 125 00:04:44,665 --> 00:04:46,824 I mean, the space to grow into who 126 00:04:46,824 --> 00:04:49,805 we are is so important, to have gentleness 127 00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:50,764 with oneself. 128 00:04:52,024 --> 00:04:54,264 Absolutely. I was very fortunate that, 129 00:04:55,064 --> 00:04:57,964 I have a family that supports me, wholeheartedly 130 00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:01,060 and kinda knew I was gay before I 131 00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:02,519 even came out. So 132 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,980 they kinda saw that coming, so they knew 133 00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:06,120 what to prepare for. 134 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:07,240 Sure. 135 00:05:08,019 --> 00:05:10,740 I imagine the anxiety around telling people who 136 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:13,139 already know is is really trippy because Oh, 137 00:05:13,139 --> 00:05:15,384 yeah. They're they've just been waiting, but they 138 00:05:15,384 --> 00:05:16,604 have to give you space 139 00:05:16,904 --> 00:05:19,625 to to come to your own decision about 140 00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:22,904 it. Essentially, yeah. I remember coming out to 141 00:05:22,904 --> 00:05:24,345 my dad and he said, Oh, I know. 142 00:05:24,345 --> 00:05:25,884 And I was like, What? 143 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,199 I was thrown for a loop to say 144 00:05:29,199 --> 00:05:30,959 the least. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you had 145 00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:32,719 a support system, and you have a support 146 00:05:32,719 --> 00:05:34,259 system that's super important. 147 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,439 Yes. I'm very fortunate. Do you still have 148 00:05:37,439 --> 00:05:37,939 siblings? 149 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,979 I do have an older sister. Yes. 150 00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:43,595 Okay. So, your youngest child, like me? 151 00:05:44,214 --> 00:05:46,294 Yeah, I'm the youngest. I don't look or 152 00:05:46,294 --> 00:05:47,754 sound like it, but I'm 21. 153 00:05:48,134 --> 00:05:50,375 I often get mistaken for a 16 year 154 00:05:50,375 --> 00:05:50,875 old. 155 00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:53,495 Yeah, you could pass through a teenager, for 156 00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:53,995 sure. 157 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,800 Yeah. Another reason why I don't even bother 158 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:57,699 to drink yet. 159 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,000 I'm curious as you because you said you 160 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,419 were moving around so much and you were 161 00:06:02,479 --> 00:06:05,199 struggling already a little bit with identity and 162 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,180 also just 163 00:06:06,639 --> 00:06:08,660 anyone who falls into the neurodivergent 164 00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:09,699 camp. 165 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,694 It's it's already hard for us to find 166 00:06:12,694 --> 00:06:13,834 tribes. So 167 00:06:14,454 --> 00:06:16,154 how did you go about 168 00:06:17,095 --> 00:06:19,415 doing that? Did you have the wherewithal, in 169 00:06:19,415 --> 00:06:21,654 other words, as a young person to to 170 00:06:21,654 --> 00:06:23,310 be able to handle that? I did not 171 00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:24,529 know I was neurodivergent 172 00:06:25,149 --> 00:06:26,849 until I reached maybe 173 00:06:27,789 --> 00:06:28,289 my 174 00:06:29,069 --> 00:06:30,529 late middle school years. 175 00:06:30,909 --> 00:06:32,509 As a child, I just thought I was 176 00:06:32,509 --> 00:06:33,569 weird and different. 177 00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:36,495 My biggest hyper fixation was books. So, it 178 00:06:36,495 --> 00:06:38,835 was very easy for me to be 179 00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:41,615 pacified if I was handed a chapter book. 180 00:06:41,615 --> 00:06:44,754 But in, in class, I very much struggled 181 00:06:45,055 --> 00:06:48,115 socially and, with sitting still and focusing. 182 00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:50,495 I used to bite through my pencils to 183 00:06:50,495 --> 00:06:52,310 the point where I probably wouldn't be able 184 00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:54,729 to use them. When you struggle like that, 185 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,189 it's easy for the teachers to write you 186 00:06:57,189 --> 00:06:58,569 off as misbehaving. 187 00:06:59,829 --> 00:07:01,990 And when it came to social groups, I 188 00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:04,310 only ever fit in with my little clique 189 00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,930 of fellow autistic children. 190 00:07:06,709 --> 00:07:08,865 Yeah. Who understood each other. And 191 00:07:10,524 --> 00:07:12,604 I was very much seen as an outcast 192 00:07:12,604 --> 00:07:13,745 by everybody else. 193 00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:16,685 I wasn't interested in the typical things that 194 00:07:16,685 --> 00:07:18,225 other children my age were. 195 00:07:18,764 --> 00:07:21,104 And as I grew up into 196 00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:24,290 middle school, I started realizing that I was 197 00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:24,790 depressed 198 00:07:25,730 --> 00:07:28,389 and I had severe social anxiety 199 00:07:28,930 --> 00:07:30,230 and general paranoia 200 00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:33,430 to the point where it was physically debilitating. 201 00:07:34,814 --> 00:07:35,314 But 202 00:07:35,775 --> 00:07:37,714 when you aren't aware of that 203 00:07:38,014 --> 00:07:40,415 and you're, you only think that there's something 204 00:07:40,415 --> 00:07:41,314 wrong with you, 205 00:07:41,935 --> 00:07:44,175 you struggle a lot. At the time, it 206 00:07:44,175 --> 00:07:45,935 felt like I didn't have a good support 207 00:07:45,935 --> 00:07:46,435 system 208 00:07:46,735 --> 00:07:47,235 because 209 00:07:48,389 --> 00:07:50,330 I would try to explain to, 210 00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:51,689 my family, 211 00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:54,490 something's wrong with me. I can't focus. 212 00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:57,029 I can't get something done for the life 213 00:07:57,029 --> 00:07:58,490 of me. I can't sit down 214 00:07:59,189 --> 00:08:00,790 and do it. Even if I know it'll 215 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:03,245 ruin my life if I don't. Having to 216 00:08:03,245 --> 00:08:05,805 try and educate my family on that while 217 00:08:05,805 --> 00:08:07,345 not understanding it myself 218 00:08:08,044 --> 00:08:10,284 made it very difficult. It became hard for 219 00:08:10,284 --> 00:08:12,604 me to reach out to them for any 220 00:08:12,604 --> 00:08:14,125 sort of help, and I was 221 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,629 it felt at the time, like I was 222 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,810 constantly being ridiculed for it, which 223 00:08:19,189 --> 00:08:21,210 looking back now is unfortunate. 224 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,509 I just realized that they didn't know any 225 00:08:23,509 --> 00:08:25,509 more than I did. But in my senior 226 00:08:25,509 --> 00:08:27,509 year of high school, I finally started getting 227 00:08:27,509 --> 00:08:30,555 evaluated for things. I took an autism assessment. 228 00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:33,914 I got diagnosed formally with ADHD, PTSD, 229 00:08:34,215 --> 00:08:35,654 clinical depression, and, 230 00:08:37,495 --> 00:08:38,475 general anxiety. 231 00:08:39,095 --> 00:08:41,274 That's a lot to carry for a kid. 232 00:08:41,335 --> 00:08:43,310 And, I mean, the truth of the matter 233 00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:45,470 is high school and junior high is, in 234 00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:47,570 my personal opinion, hell on Earth. 235 00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:51,389 And we've got all these kids who are 236 00:08:51,389 --> 00:08:53,870 suffering their own kind of anxiety over who 237 00:08:53,870 --> 00:08:55,810 they are or what they're supposed to do, 238 00:08:56,375 --> 00:08:58,534 even the ones that seemingly had it all 239 00:08:58,534 --> 00:09:00,774 together now as adults, we can look back 240 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,294 and go, oh, they were just as messed 241 00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:04,235 up. They were just different messed up. 242 00:09:04,695 --> 00:09:06,454 You know? The kids that are chewing the 243 00:09:06,454 --> 00:09:08,075 pen caps, like myself, 244 00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:10,070 You know, we know now what that look 245 00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:12,149 what that is. You biting your pencil in 246 00:09:12,149 --> 00:09:14,549 half, we know now what what that is. 247 00:09:14,549 --> 00:09:16,470 We didn't even have the benefit a handful 248 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:17,450 of years ago 249 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:18,570 to necessarily 250 00:09:19,269 --> 00:09:20,490 connect the dots. 251 00:09:20,945 --> 00:09:22,464 One of the reasons I was excited to 252 00:09:22,464 --> 00:09:24,384 talk with you is because I think we 253 00:09:24,384 --> 00:09:25,605 live in a world 254 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,365 where more and more 255 00:09:27,745 --> 00:09:30,884 humans are disconnected even within their own families. 256 00:09:31,024 --> 00:09:33,345 And, you know, I go out and I 257 00:09:33,345 --> 00:09:34,084 see parents 258 00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:36,779 not talking to their kids at all and 259 00:09:36,779 --> 00:09:38,860 just sort of everyone's on their own devices 260 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:40,700 or doing their own thing or suffering their 261 00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:41,200 own 262 00:09:41,899 --> 00:09:42,799 private hells. 263 00:09:43,580 --> 00:09:45,039 What would you say 264 00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:48,480 to the parents who have kids 265 00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:51,784 who are struggling or maybe are showing some 266 00:09:51,784 --> 00:09:53,304 sort of sign, but they're not really sure 267 00:09:53,304 --> 00:09:55,384 how to, how to put their finger on 268 00:09:55,384 --> 00:09:58,044 it. What would be some advice to parents? 269 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,605 As somebody who went through that, 270 00:10:01,144 --> 00:10:01,625 I would 271 00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:05,240 my advice would be along the lines of, 272 00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:08,759 if you think that your child is struggling 273 00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:11,059 in a certain way, or if you're worried 274 00:10:11,059 --> 00:10:12,660 that they might be, or if you notice 275 00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:13,879 your child is different, 276 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:16,420 reach out with your child and talk about 277 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:16,920 it. 278 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:17,884 And 279 00:10:18,904 --> 00:10:21,245 because you might get some insight 280 00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:23,545 into the life of your child that you 281 00:10:23,545 --> 00:10:25,404 may not have previously had 282 00:10:26,024 --> 00:10:29,065 and hearing certain struggles, you might think about 283 00:10:29,065 --> 00:10:30,985 it a certain way. Like you like, oh, 284 00:10:30,985 --> 00:10:32,684 my child struggles with paying attention. 285 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,779 They must just need that extra motivation. 286 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,039 That's not always the case. There is more 287 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,740 often than not a neurological 288 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,500 component behind it. 289 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,659 And I realize that for the older generations, 290 00:10:47,759 --> 00:10:48,419 it is 291 00:10:49,285 --> 00:10:51,205 the there's a roadblock there when it comes 292 00:10:51,205 --> 00:10:52,424 to realizing that 293 00:10:52,725 --> 00:10:53,225 because 294 00:10:53,684 --> 00:10:55,065 people don't realize 295 00:10:56,325 --> 00:10:58,184 that it's more probable 296 00:10:59,524 --> 00:11:00,024 than 297 00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:01,225 they think. 298 00:11:01,589 --> 00:11:03,909 Back in the day, the reason that you 299 00:11:03,909 --> 00:11:04,409 didn't 300 00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:08,009 supposedly see as many autistic people is because 301 00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:10,949 they didn't know they were autistic or they 302 00:11:10,949 --> 00:11:12,169 were forced to mask. 303 00:11:12,789 --> 00:11:14,870 Autism I had to explain this to an 304 00:11:14,870 --> 00:11:17,475 older family member of mine a couple years 305 00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:20,174 back. Autism does not only come in the 306 00:11:20,174 --> 00:11:22,754 form of being a nonverbal 5 year old. 307 00:11:23,134 --> 00:11:23,634 There's 308 00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:26,415 different forms of it, and your child may 309 00:11:26,415 --> 00:11:29,054 have a form of autism or ADHD or 310 00:11:29,054 --> 00:11:29,715 some other, 311 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,769 disorder or something going on, some sort of 312 00:11:32,769 --> 00:11:33,269 neurodivergency 313 00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:35,669 that you just 314 00:11:36,049 --> 00:11:38,370 may not expect based on the symptoms that 315 00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:39,029 are shown. 316 00:11:40,129 --> 00:11:42,149 Or you may not recognize them as symptoms. 317 00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:44,834 And to have patience to know that if 318 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,054 you ask your child, 319 00:11:47,235 --> 00:11:49,475 these questions to know that they may not 320 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:51,495 have the answers or know how to articulate 321 00:11:51,554 --> 00:11:52,774 their feelings yet. 322 00:11:53,554 --> 00:11:54,054 Yes. 323 00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:57,495 I know when I was growing up, I 324 00:11:57,789 --> 00:11:59,309 well, I still am growing up. When do 325 00:11:59,309 --> 00:12:00,129 we ever stop? 326 00:12:00,669 --> 00:12:01,970 But when I was younger, 327 00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:05,149 I struggled articulating how I felt. I turned 328 00:12:05,149 --> 00:12:07,009 to music. I turned to 329 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:11,309 cosplay. I turned to other forms of, self 330 00:12:11,309 --> 00:12:11,809 expression 331 00:12:12,754 --> 00:12:14,455 and it didn't seem to reach, 332 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,615 deeply for other people. 333 00:12:17,394 --> 00:12:20,195 And I realize now that's because I experienced 334 00:12:20,195 --> 00:12:21,254 the world differently. 335 00:12:22,995 --> 00:12:24,615 Mhmm. So I'll put, 336 00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:28,019 Let's talk a little bit about the complex 337 00:12:28,879 --> 00:12:29,379 PTSD. 338 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,339 Do you feel like 339 00:12:33,199 --> 00:12:35,759 it's tricky enough to navigate this world without 340 00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:36,259 developing 341 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:37,220 PTSD? 342 00:12:37,774 --> 00:12:40,914 Because, again, especially for somebody in your generation, 343 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:42,835 I imagine 344 00:12:43,455 --> 00:12:45,855 in my generation, everybody was scared of a 345 00:12:45,855 --> 00:12:46,914 whole lot of stuff. 346 00:12:47,215 --> 00:12:48,274 In your generation, 347 00:12:48,815 --> 00:12:50,414 I think and and mine too. I mean, 348 00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:53,419 we're all connected, obviously. Your problems are are 349 00:12:53,419 --> 00:12:54,639 my generation's problems. 350 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,240 But we're 351 00:12:56,620 --> 00:12:59,120 faster at the exit door leaving behind, 352 00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:01,819 you know, an an yeah. A little bit 353 00:13:01,819 --> 00:13:04,220 of chaos, a lot of chaos. Does that 354 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:05,039 feed into 355 00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,565 your anxiety or are you able to 356 00:13:08,945 --> 00:13:11,125 disconnect from that? Do you think? 357 00:13:11,664 --> 00:13:14,884 Well, your anxiety coupled with complex PTSD. 358 00:13:15,424 --> 00:13:17,764 The anxiety on its own is already 359 00:13:18,544 --> 00:13:20,965 a lot to have to deal with because 360 00:13:21,529 --> 00:13:23,629 I have to explain it in this way. 361 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:25,230 The anxiety disorder 362 00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:28,830 is like having your flight or fight reaction 363 00:13:29,129 --> 00:13:31,769 always active. And that's a lot to fathom. 364 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,230 The PTSD itself 365 00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:34,970 comes from, 366 00:13:36,695 --> 00:13:39,134 like, it it's actually sourced from something or 367 00:13:39,134 --> 00:13:40,315 a series of events. 368 00:13:40,855 --> 00:13:42,315 So coupled together, 369 00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:44,714 it is a 370 00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:46,794 a load to bear. 371 00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:48,875 Going through the world itself 372 00:13:49,414 --> 00:13:50,475 without PTSD 373 00:13:51,929 --> 00:13:52,669 is already 374 00:13:53,769 --> 00:13:55,850 a lot to handle. I I can't it's 375 00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,629 hard for me to articulate it. 376 00:13:58,169 --> 00:14:01,690 You we already, as humans, struggle with, our 377 00:14:01,690 --> 00:14:04,590 own internal feelings and how we're perceived 378 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:05,289 and, 379 00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,549 figuring out who we are. 380 00:14:08,225 --> 00:14:10,004 And with something like PTSD, 381 00:14:11,105 --> 00:14:12,084 stopping oneself 382 00:14:12,464 --> 00:14:14,644 from expressing themselves, from 383 00:14:15,264 --> 00:14:18,144 existing as themselves, or doing certain things as 384 00:14:18,144 --> 00:14:19,985 simple as leaving the house or wearing what 385 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:21,044 you want to wear 386 00:14:21,424 --> 00:14:23,459 out of fear of a certain event coming 387 00:14:23,459 --> 00:14:23,959 back, 388 00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:25,480 it's 389 00:14:26,179 --> 00:14:27,559 it can be hell on earth. 390 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,019 You just have to learn how to handle 391 00:14:30,019 --> 00:14:32,440 it, and it doesn't make life any easier 392 00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,339 to, have those 393 00:14:35,565 --> 00:14:37,404 it doesn't fix anything is what I'm trying 394 00:14:37,404 --> 00:14:39,804 to say, to have certain coping mechanisms or 395 00:14:39,804 --> 00:14:40,625 to go through 396 00:14:41,485 --> 00:14:41,985 expecting 397 00:14:42,605 --> 00:14:44,845 what's going to happen, but it can make 398 00:14:44,845 --> 00:14:46,784 it more manageable at the very least. 399 00:14:47,164 --> 00:14:49,565 That makes sense. I saw on I think 400 00:14:49,565 --> 00:14:50,945 it might have been on your 401 00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:54,050 Instagram that you had put, you're part of 402 00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:54,790 a system, 403 00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:57,269 a dissociative disorder system. 404 00:14:57,649 --> 00:14:58,129 Are you 405 00:14:58,769 --> 00:14:59,830 do you have a 406 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,930 a personality disorder, or do you have 407 00:15:03,584 --> 00:15:05,424 what does that mean? Because I know there's 408 00:15:05,424 --> 00:15:08,225 a bazillion different things that we have there's 409 00:15:08,225 --> 00:15:10,004 so much to know. Yeah. OSDD 410 00:15:11,184 --> 00:15:14,324 is Otherwise Specified Dissociation Disorder. 411 00:15:14,784 --> 00:15:15,284 OSDD 412 00:15:15,904 --> 00:15:18,209 does fall under the DID umbrella, which is 413 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,990 dissociative identity disorder, 414 00:15:20,449 --> 00:15:21,350 which was previously 415 00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:24,149 categorized as a multiple personality disorder. 416 00:15:24,929 --> 00:15:25,429 OSDD 417 00:15:25,889 --> 00:15:27,669 is a form of DID 418 00:15:28,690 --> 00:15:29,190 that 419 00:15:29,654 --> 00:15:32,394 is slightly lesser where the effects 420 00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:35,334 are and the symptoms are maybe not as 421 00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,115 intense as full blown 422 00:15:37,574 --> 00:15:39,434 associative identity disorder. 423 00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:41,894 However, it is still very prominent and it 424 00:15:41,894 --> 00:15:43,115 is enough to be classified. 425 00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:46,100 My experience with OSDD 426 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,419 as a whole system 427 00:15:49,039 --> 00:15:51,059 has been very complicated. 428 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,240 Up until about a year and a half 429 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:54,740 ago 430 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,820 was when we started to 431 00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:59,264 do more research into it and accept, 432 00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:02,304 Hey, maybe there is something wrong. We can't 433 00:16:02,684 --> 00:16:05,024 remember huge portions of our life. 434 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,464 We forget faces and names incredibly easily. 435 00:16:09,004 --> 00:16:09,745 We don't 436 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:10,840 remember 437 00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:13,720 big life events. We don't remember 438 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,480 what we had for breakfast. 439 00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:18,920 And another thing is we're more comfortable 440 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,360 referring to ourself 441 00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:22,634 ourselves as a we 442 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,014 more than anything. 443 00:16:24,475 --> 00:16:26,735 Do you have what you have identified 444 00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:28,575 as, 445 00:16:29,274 --> 00:16:31,695 other I hate to use the board personalities 446 00:16:31,835 --> 00:16:34,154 because I feel like that doesn't really give 447 00:16:34,154 --> 00:16:36,509 a justice to the complexity of it all. 448 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:39,649 My mother is DID, so I grew up 449 00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:41,870 in a house with that experience course that's 450 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,269 on what they called it again. Yes. Yeah. 451 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:45,250 There was really 452 00:16:46,110 --> 00:16:48,049 absolutely particular personalities 453 00:16:48,429 --> 00:16:49,570 that would come through. 454 00:16:50,054 --> 00:16:51,355 It seemed like 455 00:16:51,894 --> 00:16:52,554 some of 456 00:16:53,414 --> 00:16:56,554 the characteristics that would come forward, we had 457 00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:59,595 little self awareness of the others. 458 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,495 The thing I would say about that is 459 00:17:01,495 --> 00:17:05,190 that everybody experiences their DID, OSDD, whatever, their 460 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,670 journey differently. There are definitely a lot of 461 00:17:07,670 --> 00:17:10,630 systems to have little awareness to the others. 462 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,950 There are some that are very well aware 463 00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,230 and there are some that are in the 464 00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:14,730 middle. 465 00:17:15,045 --> 00:17:15,545 With 466 00:17:16,085 --> 00:17:17,545 our personal experience, 467 00:17:18,164 --> 00:17:19,945 for a majority of our life 468 00:17:20,725 --> 00:17:22,105 with this disorder, 469 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,664 we were not aware of it. 470 00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:27,525 But we started going to therapy, started getting 471 00:17:27,525 --> 00:17:29,305 diagnostic processes done, 472 00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:32,049 and now we are more or less aware 473 00:17:32,049 --> 00:17:32,549 of, 474 00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:35,569 of a good portion of what goes on 475 00:17:35,569 --> 00:17:36,230 in Headspace 476 00:17:36,529 --> 00:17:37,029 and 477 00:17:37,410 --> 00:17:39,809 what happens outside of it. The form of 478 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,150 OSDD that we have, it's the type 479 00:17:42,585 --> 00:17:43,085 where 480 00:17:43,384 --> 00:17:45,944 we do not experience full on blackouts very 481 00:17:45,944 --> 00:17:48,284 often. We more often have grayouts 482 00:17:48,744 --> 00:17:51,085 and the amnesia is still heavily present. 483 00:17:51,544 --> 00:17:54,424 So we're usually aware when a switch happens 484 00:17:54,424 --> 00:17:56,664 or when another we call them alters, when 485 00:17:56,664 --> 00:17:59,279 an alter comes forward or is in co 486 00:17:59,279 --> 00:17:59,779 consciousness. 487 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,579 That being said, 488 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,659 it is difficult because we 489 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,700 don't remember a lot of stuff and 490 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,799 we have kind of a code where we 491 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,099 don't talk about it online. 492 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:13,460 We 493 00:18:14,365 --> 00:18:17,005 really don't want to get fake claims for 494 00:18:17,005 --> 00:18:17,484 it, 495 00:18:18,285 --> 00:18:20,304 or hated on for it. And 496 00:18:21,244 --> 00:18:23,724 only a handful of close family members really 497 00:18:23,724 --> 00:18:26,204 know about this, but we think it's about 498 00:18:26,204 --> 00:18:28,044 time we come forward with a lot of 499 00:18:28,044 --> 00:18:29,184 speaking about it 500 00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:32,169 even without getting fully into the 501 00:18:32,549 --> 00:18:33,450 the meat of it. 502 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,069 That when you say something like a gray 503 00:18:36,069 --> 00:18:37,129 out, is that 504 00:18:38,309 --> 00:18:40,470 meaning that you have a sense of it, 505 00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:42,950 but so you are aware that there is 506 00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:44,490 an alter doing things, 507 00:18:44,855 --> 00:18:47,434 but you don't have maybe as much control 508 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:49,414 of it. Is it kind of in that 509 00:18:49,414 --> 00:18:50,234 regard? Or 510 00:18:50,695 --> 00:18:52,234 It is somewhat in that regard. 511 00:18:52,775 --> 00:18:55,815 For us, the gray out typically means that 512 00:18:55,815 --> 00:18:56,315 we're 513 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,319 not present mentally in the moment. We're pretty 514 00:19:00,319 --> 00:19:02,500 aware that an altar is there. 515 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:03,380 So 516 00:19:04,559 --> 00:19:07,299 when we as as Becks, when me, Becks, 517 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:08,980 comes back into full consciousness, 518 00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:11,914 we will remember the gist. Like, 519 00:19:12,535 --> 00:19:14,555 usually remember a gist of what happened. 520 00:19:14,934 --> 00:19:17,815 Like, oh, Haruto fronted for a little bit 521 00:19:17,815 --> 00:19:18,954 and talked to somebody. 522 00:19:19,815 --> 00:19:21,755 That's usually all we would really remember. 523 00:19:22,170 --> 00:19:23,769 That's what I mean by gray out is 524 00:19:23,769 --> 00:19:25,609 it's not a full on blackout because we 525 00:19:25,609 --> 00:19:27,070 have a somewhat awareness. 526 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,750 Is there any kind of, 527 00:19:31,450 --> 00:19:34,170 agreement with the alters? Let's say you all 528 00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,190 keep a journal to keep the others 529 00:19:36,494 --> 00:19:38,755 in the know, or is there really specifically 530 00:19:39,055 --> 00:19:40,115 some altars like 531 00:19:40,494 --> 00:19:42,335 Vex doesn't get to know him, this is 532 00:19:42,335 --> 00:19:45,315 to protect Vex? Or I mean, I imagine, 533 00:19:45,615 --> 00:19:48,194 as with my mother, there were different ages, 534 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:50,575 and there were little kids, there were older 535 00:19:50,575 --> 00:19:51,075 men, 536 00:19:51,569 --> 00:19:54,049 There were all sorts going on, and of 537 00:19:54,369 --> 00:19:55,750 and they were very 538 00:19:56,609 --> 00:19:57,109 specific. 539 00:19:57,970 --> 00:19:58,470 And 540 00:19:59,329 --> 00:20:02,230 my mother remembers barely anything ever. 541 00:20:02,690 --> 00:20:03,190 So 542 00:20:03,490 --> 00:20:05,669 and it Yes. It makes me wonder, 543 00:20:06,394 --> 00:20:08,734 you know, wouldn't it be so much simpler 544 00:20:08,794 --> 00:20:10,174 if the altars kept 545 00:20:10,634 --> 00:20:12,634 a log, for example? But I don't know 546 00:20:12,634 --> 00:20:14,414 how much teamwork is going on. 547 00:20:14,794 --> 00:20:18,394 With us, we don't relegate ourselves to always 548 00:20:18,394 --> 00:20:20,234 having a journal to write in to refer 549 00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:20,734 to. 550 00:20:21,169 --> 00:20:23,490 However, some of the alters do prefer to 551 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:24,470 write. I know, 552 00:20:25,329 --> 00:20:28,869 Judas does prefer art and, writing down poems. 553 00:20:29,169 --> 00:20:30,690 That is, like, kind of a shared interest 554 00:20:30,690 --> 00:20:33,169 with the system is writing things down and 555 00:20:33,169 --> 00:20:33,669 drawing. 556 00:20:34,265 --> 00:20:36,184 I wouldn't say it's a routine that we 557 00:20:36,184 --> 00:20:37,945 have, but every now and then, we'll look 558 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,785 through one of our journals or one of 559 00:20:39,785 --> 00:20:42,605 our sketchbooks and be like, hey. That wasn't 560 00:20:42,904 --> 00:20:44,825 who who did this one? Like, that's a 561 00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:45,144 little 562 00:20:46,025 --> 00:20:47,945 like, that's that's a little strange. Don't remember 563 00:20:47,945 --> 00:20:49,005 this one at all. 564 00:20:49,609 --> 00:20:51,230 Yeah. And we have a, 565 00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:53,690 a thing that we've started to do, actually. 566 00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:55,690 We have started to keep a journal as 567 00:20:55,690 --> 00:20:58,009 of recently that we plan to be consistent 568 00:20:58,009 --> 00:20:58,509 with, 569 00:20:58,809 --> 00:21:00,890 where we start writing in a cipher because 570 00:21:00,890 --> 00:21:02,910 we are very afraid of somebody 571 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,714 finding the journal and reading it who shouldn't 572 00:21:05,714 --> 00:21:06,534 be reading it. 573 00:21:06,914 --> 00:21:08,615 That's another thing that my neurodivergency 574 00:21:08,994 --> 00:21:10,754 does help with is being able to commit 575 00:21:10,754 --> 00:21:12,514 to little things like that. And, I mean, 576 00:21:12,514 --> 00:21:14,595 that makes sense. The the things that you 577 00:21:14,595 --> 00:21:15,095 and 578 00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:18,750 and your alters discuss are private thoughts. 579 00:21:19,609 --> 00:21:23,150 Yes. Yes. They're just sort of manifesting in 580 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,849 a interesting way. How many alters are you 581 00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:26,670 aware of? 582 00:21:27,289 --> 00:21:29,130 Right now, we are aware of 8, including 583 00:21:29,130 --> 00:21:31,815 myself as Vex. Mhmm. Were any of them 584 00:21:31,815 --> 00:21:33,275 nervous about this interview? 585 00:21:34,214 --> 00:21:37,255 Yes. Very much so. There's 2 younger ones 586 00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:39,255 that they go by the nicknames Glass and, 587 00:21:39,575 --> 00:21:40,075 Monster. 588 00:21:40,855 --> 00:21:43,275 Self chosen nicknames, so it's not offensive. 589 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,820 They were very nervous about being on microphone 590 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,140 for a podcast type thing. 591 00:21:49,519 --> 00:21:51,059 Sure. They are usually 592 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,619 the kind that like to just 593 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,519 play outside or read books or color or 594 00:21:57,519 --> 00:21:58,740 do something. So 595 00:21:59,265 --> 00:22:00,865 when it does come to the hobby of, 596 00:22:01,184 --> 00:22:03,664 sitting down and recording something, they get very, 597 00:22:03,664 --> 00:22:04,484 very nervous. 598 00:22:04,785 --> 00:22:06,464 If they are near front for that, they 599 00:22:06,464 --> 00:22:08,865 usually put up a mask and just pretend 600 00:22:08,865 --> 00:22:10,244 to be somebody else. 601 00:22:10,625 --> 00:22:12,830 That makes sense. I mean, it's it is 602 00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:15,570 scary to to talk about things that are 603 00:22:16,830 --> 00:22:18,049 both societally 604 00:22:19,070 --> 00:22:20,529 looked at as as 605 00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:22,369 unsure and uncertain, 606 00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:24,529 and, of course, film 607 00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:27,994 intelligent doesn't help. I think it's getting better, 608 00:22:28,375 --> 00:22:29,115 but I think 609 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:32,294 in previous eras, it was made to be 610 00:22:32,294 --> 00:22:33,434 this sort of monstrosity 611 00:22:33,734 --> 00:22:36,075 and not the coping mechanism and 612 00:22:36,694 --> 00:22:38,480 that it that it is. So, 613 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,919 Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate that your system is 614 00:22:41,919 --> 00:22:44,419 is here and having this conversation 615 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,919 as I am appreciative of you, Vex. So 616 00:22:47,919 --> 00:22:49,679 I just wanna make sure that they feel 617 00:22:49,679 --> 00:22:50,980 safe. Thank you. 618 00:22:51,494 --> 00:22:54,454 Are you feeling like you are operating as 619 00:22:54,454 --> 00:22:55,035 a team? 620 00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:58,454 Even if your UBECs aren't always aware of 621 00:22:58,454 --> 00:23:00,714 what's going on, do you do feel that? 622 00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:03,974 Yes. It's taken a long time to get 623 00:23:03,974 --> 00:23:06,214 to this point, but we really do feel 624 00:23:06,214 --> 00:23:06,714 like, 625 00:23:07,279 --> 00:23:09,599 at least most of the time, we do 626 00:23:09,599 --> 00:23:10,799 operate as a team. 627 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:12,720 It's kind of we see it as, like, 628 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,640 a tag out system, tag in, tag out, 629 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,500 even if it's involuntary. 630 00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:19,039 It wasn't always this way. There was a 631 00:23:19,039 --> 00:23:20,559 lot of times when we were going through 632 00:23:20,559 --> 00:23:22,845 high school where it felt like we were 633 00:23:22,845 --> 00:23:24,684 really against each other, and it was like, 634 00:23:24,684 --> 00:23:26,365 I'm gonna do things my way because this 635 00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:27,825 is the best way, and 636 00:23:28,445 --> 00:23:30,305 it wouldn't always be the best way. 637 00:23:31,164 --> 00:23:33,184 How old is your oldest alter? 638 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:37,080 The oldest alter right now is, like, maybe 639 00:23:37,220 --> 00:23:38,119 mid thirties. 640 00:23:38,660 --> 00:23:39,720 His name is Wulfric. 641 00:23:40,259 --> 00:23:42,279 He's usually a common fronter 642 00:23:42,740 --> 00:23:45,460 as some alters are more, inner self help 643 00:23:45,460 --> 00:23:48,039 rather than in front. Alright. Is your family 644 00:23:48,180 --> 00:23:50,200 supportive of your journey through this? 645 00:23:50,734 --> 00:23:53,535 Not all of them are. There are some 646 00:23:53,535 --> 00:23:55,455 family members that I have not told and 647 00:23:55,455 --> 00:23:57,795 will probably not be showing this podcast to. 648 00:23:58,255 --> 00:24:00,414 I do have a handful of very close 649 00:24:00,414 --> 00:24:02,494 family members that know and are doing their 650 00:24:02,494 --> 00:24:04,195 best to be supportive despite 651 00:24:05,220 --> 00:24:08,179 not knowing much about this. When I've had 652 00:24:08,179 --> 00:24:08,679 conversations 653 00:24:09,059 --> 00:24:11,880 about DID with people to try and explain 654 00:24:12,339 --> 00:24:14,420 as best I can as somebody who grew 655 00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:16,259 up in a family with a member of 656 00:24:16,259 --> 00:24:18,200 the family experiencing this, 657 00:24:18,819 --> 00:24:21,424 I often say, think of it like and 658 00:24:21,805 --> 00:24:24,065 I'm just curious what your opinion of this, 659 00:24:24,684 --> 00:24:25,744 observation is. 660 00:24:26,045 --> 00:24:27,884 Is that I'd say think about it like 661 00:24:27,884 --> 00:24:29,184 you go into a store 662 00:24:29,565 --> 00:24:31,650 and you're let's say you're 40 years old, 663 00:24:31,650 --> 00:24:33,570 and you go into a store and you 664 00:24:33,570 --> 00:24:35,349 see a toy from your childhood, 665 00:24:35,730 --> 00:24:38,150 and you pick it up, and you're immediately 666 00:24:38,289 --> 00:24:41,089 brought back to that feeling of just pure 667 00:24:41,089 --> 00:24:42,470 joy and childlikeness 668 00:24:42,930 --> 00:24:44,849 and all that. Maybe you experience it when 669 00:24:44,849 --> 00:24:46,369 you're out walking on a sunny day and 670 00:24:46,369 --> 00:24:47,349 you see a butterfly. 671 00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:49,304 That feeling 672 00:24:49,924 --> 00:24:52,424 then just manifests into a whole person 673 00:24:53,524 --> 00:24:55,044 is kind of the best way I can 674 00:24:55,044 --> 00:24:56,724 describe it. And the thing is true when 675 00:24:56,724 --> 00:24:58,404 people say, oh, I lost my head, and 676 00:24:58,404 --> 00:24:59,924 I was just so angry, and I said 677 00:24:59,924 --> 00:25:01,869 all these things I didn't mean. And it 678 00:25:01,869 --> 00:25:04,190 wasn't me. Well, it was you because it's 679 00:25:04,190 --> 00:25:06,269 a part of who you are. That's my 680 00:25:06,269 --> 00:25:08,529 best way to kind of help people understand 681 00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:11,169 what it's like. 682 00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:14,190 I really like that. That is a very 683 00:25:14,190 --> 00:25:14,690 good 684 00:25:15,404 --> 00:25:17,325 way of putting it. I never would have 685 00:25:17,325 --> 00:25:18,924 thought of of it to explain it like 686 00:25:18,924 --> 00:25:19,424 that. 687 00:25:20,125 --> 00:25:21,265 The the childhood 688 00:25:21,644 --> 00:25:23,565 example of being, like, thrown back into that 689 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:25,085 state of mind as to when you were 690 00:25:25,085 --> 00:25:25,664 a child, 691 00:25:26,045 --> 00:25:27,105 that's very 692 00:25:27,470 --> 00:25:29,549 that's very wise, and I think I'm going 693 00:25:29,549 --> 00:25:31,490 to use that going forward describing 694 00:25:32,190 --> 00:25:33,089 that to, 695 00:25:33,789 --> 00:25:36,049 people I'm comfortable telling about this. 696 00:25:36,509 --> 00:25:38,690 In order for us to live our lives 697 00:25:39,390 --> 00:25:41,329 in general, any human being, 698 00:25:41,884 --> 00:25:45,744 we're constantly putting on masks and assuming roles 699 00:25:45,805 --> 00:25:48,684 and being different people, and we change our 700 00:25:48,684 --> 00:25:50,445 attitudes when we put on a different kind 701 00:25:50,445 --> 00:25:51,105 of clothing 702 00:25:51,565 --> 00:25:54,144 even. Yes. Some make us feel more confident, 703 00:25:54,285 --> 00:25:57,404 some more sexy, some more demure, whatever it 704 00:25:57,404 --> 00:25:57,779 is. 705 00:25:58,420 --> 00:26:01,859 Those those feelings that are being elicited, I 706 00:26:01,859 --> 00:26:03,160 feel like are 707 00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:06,279 in the realm of of this sort of 708 00:26:06,420 --> 00:26:08,340 if you can just take 3 more steps 709 00:26:08,340 --> 00:26:10,580 the other way, you'll you'll kind of get 710 00:26:10,580 --> 00:26:12,119 a grasp on it. 711 00:26:12,525 --> 00:26:14,305 Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 712 00:26:15,005 --> 00:26:16,045 So tell me about 713 00:26:16,525 --> 00:26:18,684 I wrote this down. Not a furry. It's 714 00:26:18,684 --> 00:26:19,345 a very 715 00:26:20,445 --> 00:26:22,924 Yes. Very important distinction. Let's talk about that. 716 00:26:22,924 --> 00:26:23,744 So you identify, 717 00:26:24,924 --> 00:26:27,080 as part of, would you call it part 718 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,759 of your cosplay or just part of your 719 00:26:28,759 --> 00:26:29,259 identity 720 00:26:29,799 --> 00:26:30,539 as Therion? 721 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,420 Part of myself as Therian. 722 00:26:34,039 --> 00:26:36,680 Therian. Therian. Sorry. I'm saying it wrong. Oh, 723 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,160 it's okay. I will give a very basic 724 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,380 run through of the explanation, 725 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,775 just for the people in the podcast who 726 00:26:42,775 --> 00:26:45,994 are listening. Perfect. A Therian is a person 727 00:26:46,055 --> 00:26:46,555 who 728 00:26:47,095 --> 00:26:47,595 nonphysically 729 00:26:48,215 --> 00:26:48,715 identifies 730 00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:50,555 as 1 or more animals. 731 00:26:50,934 --> 00:26:52,235 This can mean spiritually, 732 00:26:52,615 --> 00:26:53,115 psychologically, 733 00:26:53,575 --> 00:26:54,075 mentally, 734 00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:57,450 or just a strong connection to. And I 735 00:26:57,450 --> 00:26:59,929 would like to specify that the core of 736 00:26:59,929 --> 00:27:00,429 Therianthropy 737 00:27:00,890 --> 00:27:03,690 is knowing and being aware that you are 738 00:27:03,690 --> 00:27:04,349 a human. 739 00:27:05,210 --> 00:27:06,990 There is a very big difference 740 00:27:07,369 --> 00:27:10,809 between having a favorite animal, feeling really connected 741 00:27:10,809 --> 00:27:12,429 to a certain type of animal, 742 00:27:12,755 --> 00:27:13,815 and being a Therian. 743 00:27:14,355 --> 00:27:16,674 Because being a Therian is identifying as that 744 00:27:16,674 --> 00:27:17,174 animal 745 00:27:17,795 --> 00:27:19,654 in a way that is, at least 746 00:27:19,955 --> 00:27:20,855 from my knowledge, 747 00:27:21,394 --> 00:27:21,894 nonphysical. 748 00:27:23,715 --> 00:27:25,894 Is that, do you think, part of 749 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,660 the DID or is that something completely different? 750 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,759 It is something completely different. Although there are 751 00:27:31,759 --> 00:27:34,799 a good number of systems who also identify 752 00:27:34,799 --> 00:27:35,779 as being Therian, 753 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,265 or some other branch of it. 754 00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:42,105 Because in DID, I am aware that there 755 00:27:42,105 --> 00:27:43,805 can be nonhuman alters. 756 00:27:44,345 --> 00:27:45,484 In short, it is 757 00:27:45,785 --> 00:27:48,285 distinct, but they can go hand in hand. 758 00:27:49,144 --> 00:27:52,125 Interesting. And you identify as a Mexican wolf? 759 00:27:52,690 --> 00:27:55,170 Yes. AKA the Kalupo, which is a Mexican 760 00:27:55,170 --> 00:27:57,090 wolf dog. And I do have a second 761 00:27:57,090 --> 00:28:00,049 stereotype, which is barn owl. Those are powerful 762 00:28:00,049 --> 00:28:00,549 creatures. 763 00:28:01,410 --> 00:28:02,869 I agree. Thank you. 764 00:28:03,170 --> 00:28:05,009 How does it feel when you embody the 765 00:28:05,009 --> 00:28:07,275 spirit of those things? That is a good 766 00:28:07,275 --> 00:28:08,335 question. I, 767 00:28:09,035 --> 00:28:10,015 like most Syrians, 768 00:28:10,394 --> 00:28:11,375 get get, 769 00:28:12,315 --> 00:28:13,455 shifts which, 770 00:28:15,355 --> 00:28:17,855 come with getting phantom sets, which 771 00:28:18,315 --> 00:28:20,555 means that at times I can feel like 772 00:28:20,555 --> 00:28:23,329 I have the traits of that certain animal 773 00:28:23,329 --> 00:28:25,190 either mentally or somewhat physically. 774 00:28:25,890 --> 00:28:28,369 Start getting phantom sense, like feeling like I 775 00:28:28,369 --> 00:28:30,369 have fangs or feeling like I have claws 776 00:28:30,369 --> 00:28:31,029 or talons, 777 00:28:31,650 --> 00:28:32,789 ears or a tail. 778 00:28:33,184 --> 00:28:35,744 And it's a very bizarre feeling because you 779 00:28:35,744 --> 00:28:37,585 can move your hand and be like, wait. 780 00:28:37,585 --> 00:28:39,424 There that's not there, but it feels like 781 00:28:39,424 --> 00:28:41,184 it is or it should be. It is 782 00:28:41,184 --> 00:28:43,204 not something that every theory and experiences. 783 00:28:43,505 --> 00:28:45,525 Everybody has their own journey with it, 784 00:28:45,929 --> 00:28:48,089 but mental shifts are another thing. It can 785 00:28:48,089 --> 00:28:49,149 feel very liberating 786 00:28:49,609 --> 00:28:50,109 to 787 00:28:50,809 --> 00:28:52,970 embody the mental state or the spirit of 788 00:28:52,970 --> 00:28:53,710 that animal. 789 00:28:54,169 --> 00:28:56,269 But at times, it's not always fun. 790 00:28:56,649 --> 00:28:57,149 Therianthropy 791 00:28:57,690 --> 00:28:59,789 is not a choice. It is an involuntary 792 00:29:00,009 --> 00:29:00,509 identity. 793 00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:01,625 So 794 00:29:02,164 --> 00:29:05,204 when when I'm out with people or when 795 00:29:05,204 --> 00:29:06,105 with my friends 796 00:29:06,644 --> 00:29:08,565 and I start feeling shifty about something, I 797 00:29:08,565 --> 00:29:10,805 have to really try and shake it and 798 00:29:10,805 --> 00:29:12,244 be like, okay. Now is not the time. 799 00:29:12,244 --> 00:29:14,184 Now is not the time. It's like, let's 800 00:29:14,329 --> 00:29:15,529 put that aside from now, put it in 801 00:29:15,529 --> 00:29:17,369 the box, get back in the box. Well, 802 00:29:17,369 --> 00:29:19,069 when you do feel yourself 803 00:29:19,369 --> 00:29:19,869 becoming 804 00:29:20,410 --> 00:29:20,910 that, 805 00:29:21,289 --> 00:29:24,089 does it actually change how you'll behave out 806 00:29:24,089 --> 00:29:26,750 in in the world at large? It definitely 807 00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:27,869 can and does. 808 00:29:28,275 --> 00:29:30,115 For example, there are times when I have 809 00:29:30,115 --> 00:29:32,595 been out with friends who are unaware of 810 00:29:32,595 --> 00:29:34,055 the full scale of Therianthropy 811 00:29:34,434 --> 00:29:35,894 and the mental shifts. 812 00:29:36,515 --> 00:29:38,595 And like I hear, for example, a dog 813 00:29:38,595 --> 00:29:39,815 barking and that instantly 814 00:29:40,289 --> 00:29:41,730 can sometimes flip a switch and be like, 815 00:29:41,730 --> 00:29:43,009 Oh, okay. I need to do this. Or 816 00:29:43,009 --> 00:29:45,090 it makes me really aware. It shifts how 817 00:29:45,090 --> 00:29:45,809 we act with 818 00:29:46,930 --> 00:29:48,610 around other people. What we tend to do 819 00:29:48,610 --> 00:29:49,830 is get really quiet 820 00:29:50,210 --> 00:29:51,730 and just be like, Okay, just stare at 821 00:29:51,730 --> 00:29:53,330 this. Just stare at this. Feel what you're 822 00:29:53,330 --> 00:29:54,769 feeling, but stare at this. Don't break eye 823 00:29:54,769 --> 00:29:56,605 contact with it. It's like, 824 00:29:56,904 --> 00:29:59,164 that's our form of getting through it. 825 00:29:59,705 --> 00:30:01,724 Getting through a mental shift is just 826 00:30:02,424 --> 00:30:03,164 sit down, 827 00:30:03,545 --> 00:30:06,105 think about it, feel it, and let it 828 00:30:06,105 --> 00:30:07,484 pass the best you can. 829 00:30:07,865 --> 00:30:09,484 And what is the difference between 830 00:30:10,184 --> 00:30:11,325 that and a furry? 831 00:30:12,099 --> 00:30:15,619 A furry does not identify themself as an 832 00:30:15,619 --> 00:30:16,679 animal at all. 833 00:30:17,059 --> 00:30:18,919 A furry is a hobbyist 834 00:30:19,220 --> 00:30:19,720 who 835 00:30:20,099 --> 00:30:22,440 parts participates in the furry culture, 836 00:30:22,740 --> 00:30:25,159 such as making characters that are anthropomorphic 837 00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:28,355 animals or cartoony or sometimes more realistic 838 00:30:29,375 --> 00:30:30,994 that are usually more humanized. 839 00:30:31,855 --> 00:30:34,894 And, a big part of furry culture is, 840 00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:35,875 fursuits 841 00:30:36,174 --> 00:30:37,075 and costumes. 842 00:30:37,934 --> 00:30:39,775 That is something that does overlap with the 843 00:30:39,775 --> 00:30:43,019 theory and community is having, costumes or masks 844 00:30:43,099 --> 00:30:45,119 or, partial stuff like that. 845 00:30:45,660 --> 00:30:46,160 Although 846 00:30:46,619 --> 00:30:48,380 we do have some things in common, we 847 00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:50,400 are not the same community. 848 00:30:50,940 --> 00:30:53,339 And it is worth mentioning that furries can 849 00:30:53,339 --> 00:30:55,500 be Therians and vice versa. You can be 850 00:30:55,500 --> 00:30:57,580 part of both communities as well as just 851 00:30:57,580 --> 00:30:58,080 one. 852 00:30:58,634 --> 00:31:00,414 Have you found your community 853 00:31:01,195 --> 00:31:02,095 as a Therian? 854 00:31:03,035 --> 00:31:05,055 I think that I have. I 855 00:31:06,075 --> 00:31:08,875 don't have any Therian friends in real life 856 00:31:08,875 --> 00:31:09,855 that I can go, 857 00:31:11,049 --> 00:31:13,150 visit and hang out with, unfortunately. 858 00:31:13,609 --> 00:31:16,570 But I have a lot of, people online 859 00:31:16,570 --> 00:31:18,730 that are very supportive of me. I have 860 00:31:18,730 --> 00:31:20,090 close friends that, 861 00:31:20,490 --> 00:31:22,890 support me with it and send me things 862 00:31:22,890 --> 00:31:24,250 like, hey. I saw this and thought of 863 00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:25,450 you, and it's a piece of theory and 864 00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:25,950 media. 865 00:31:26,474 --> 00:31:28,634 So I definitely feel like I found my 866 00:31:28,634 --> 00:31:30,734 little community or my pack, so to speak. 867 00:31:31,595 --> 00:31:33,914 Yes. Yes. I don't know what a bunch 868 00:31:33,914 --> 00:31:35,134 of owls is called. 869 00:31:35,595 --> 00:31:37,595 I'm curious. I'm actually not sure either. I'll 870 00:31:37,595 --> 00:31:39,059 have to I know, like, a group of 871 00:31:39,140 --> 00:31:41,480 crows is a murder. A group of crows 872 00:31:41,539 --> 00:31:44,039 is, has a funny name. I can't remember. 873 00:31:44,580 --> 00:31:46,019 I know that a group of monkeys is 874 00:31:46,019 --> 00:31:46,920 called a congres. 875 00:31:47,539 --> 00:31:48,920 Yes. I love that one. 876 00:31:49,220 --> 00:31:51,160 Yes. I love it. To know all those 877 00:31:51,220 --> 00:31:51,880 so much. 878 00:31:52,365 --> 00:31:53,644 Do do you this is kind of a 879 00:31:53,644 --> 00:31:55,904 weird question, but when you 880 00:31:56,444 --> 00:31:57,345 feel yourself 881 00:31:57,644 --> 00:31:59,184 shifting into that energy, 882 00:32:00,125 --> 00:32:02,924 do you find that other animals respond to 883 00:32:02,924 --> 00:32:03,585 you differently? 884 00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:07,019 I do, actually. Yeah. Okay. Can you talk 885 00:32:07,019 --> 00:32:08,380 about that a little bit? Because I would 886 00:32:08,380 --> 00:32:10,320 think, like, dogs especially. 887 00:32:11,339 --> 00:32:13,420 Yes. I have 2 pet dogs at home. 888 00:32:13,420 --> 00:32:15,920 Their names are Moses and Lucy. They are 889 00:32:15,980 --> 00:32:18,559 very big dog breeds. They are King Corso 890 00:32:18,619 --> 00:32:20,115 Mastiffs. Oh my goodness. 891 00:32:21,054 --> 00:32:23,054 And I've noticed when I have been home 892 00:32:23,054 --> 00:32:24,355 and I've been in my backyard 893 00:32:24,815 --> 00:32:26,355 shifting into that mental state, 894 00:32:26,974 --> 00:32:29,454 they there's a mentality that comes with it 895 00:32:29,454 --> 00:32:32,174 with the dogs. They start to understand and 896 00:32:32,174 --> 00:32:34,095 they're like, Oh, okay. This guy's being more 897 00:32:34,095 --> 00:32:36,629 like a dog now. And my dogs are 898 00:32:36,629 --> 00:32:38,309 quicker to come up to me and, like, 899 00:32:38,309 --> 00:32:39,429 sniff my face and, 900 00:32:40,309 --> 00:32:42,069 run they wanna run around with me. They, 901 00:32:42,069 --> 00:32:44,069 like, come near me with their toys and 902 00:32:44,069 --> 00:32:45,429 drop them at my feet. It's like, hey. 903 00:32:45,429 --> 00:32:47,750 Come play with us. Like, there's a certain 904 00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:49,369 energy shift you don't get 905 00:32:50,585 --> 00:32:52,765 when you're not, like like, spiritually 906 00:32:53,065 --> 00:32:55,565 or mentally in that state with that energy. 907 00:32:56,505 --> 00:32:58,904 When you're presenting as Vex, do you feel 908 00:32:58,904 --> 00:32:59,404 dysmorphic 909 00:32:59,705 --> 00:33:02,184 from the rest of your alters and or 910 00:33:02,184 --> 00:33:02,684 your, 911 00:33:03,470 --> 00:33:05,650 Mexican wolf and or owl? 912 00:33:06,029 --> 00:33:08,029 There can be times like that. The big 913 00:33:08,029 --> 00:33:10,289 term that I like to use for therianthropy 914 00:33:10,590 --> 00:33:12,210 is species dysphoria. 915 00:33:13,070 --> 00:33:14,910 Now, that is a very crazy term to 916 00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:16,590 just throw out there and it puts a 917 00:33:16,590 --> 00:33:18,994 lot of people off, but it's true. There 918 00:33:19,015 --> 00:33:22,095 are definitely times where we sit down and 919 00:33:22,095 --> 00:33:23,394 we we just feel 920 00:33:23,934 --> 00:33:26,414 a little dysmorphic. It's like, I would feel 921 00:33:26,414 --> 00:33:27,634 so much more myself 922 00:33:28,174 --> 00:33:29,695 if there was a tail right now or 923 00:33:29,695 --> 00:33:31,695 if I had feathers right now. I would 924 00:33:31,695 --> 00:33:32,835 look for a tail. 925 00:33:33,230 --> 00:33:35,809 Oh my goodness. Right? Oh my god. 926 00:33:36,910 --> 00:33:38,830 I'm not a Therian or a furry, but 927 00:33:38,830 --> 00:33:40,670 my whole life, my friends can attest to 928 00:33:40,670 --> 00:33:43,789 this. I have always, always wanted a tail 929 00:33:43,789 --> 00:33:45,710 ever since I read Geek Love when I 930 00:33:45,710 --> 00:33:46,450 was in college. 931 00:33:46,785 --> 00:33:49,585 Oh, yes. Yeah. There's always that's what I 932 00:33:49,585 --> 00:33:51,744 like is that there's always common ground with, 933 00:33:52,065 --> 00:33:52,565 people 934 00:33:53,105 --> 00:33:55,345 even if they don't identify with or as 935 00:33:55,345 --> 00:33:57,184 a certain thing. You still can find those 936 00:33:57,184 --> 00:33:58,865 things in common, and I think that's what's 937 00:33:58,865 --> 00:34:01,480 beautiful. I agree. Yeah. I agree. How badass 938 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:02,679 would it be, though, to have a little 939 00:34:02,679 --> 00:34:03,659 flicking tail, 940 00:34:04,039 --> 00:34:06,759 real long and lean? Oh, yes. Or, like, 941 00:34:06,759 --> 00:34:08,679 a little fuzzy, like a peach fuzz? I 942 00:34:08,679 --> 00:34:10,139 just think it'd be so sexy. 943 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,780 It would be pretty cool. It would definitely 944 00:34:13,079 --> 00:34:14,839 at least for me, it would help boost 945 00:34:14,839 --> 00:34:17,054 my self confidence a little. Even if, you 946 00:34:17,054 --> 00:34:18,655 know, there'd be people who are like, oh, 947 00:34:18,655 --> 00:34:20,335 tail, and they'd pull on it. It's like, 948 00:34:20,335 --> 00:34:20,994 yeah. Whatever. 949 00:34:21,375 --> 00:34:23,934 There'd be less miscommunication, I feel like, because 950 00:34:23,934 --> 00:34:25,155 one of the ways we 951 00:34:25,454 --> 00:34:25,954 understand 952 00:34:26,655 --> 00:34:28,815 the animal kingdom is by the movement of 953 00:34:28,815 --> 00:34:29,474 their tail. 954 00:34:30,130 --> 00:34:31,969 Yes. That is true. And by the ears 955 00:34:31,969 --> 00:34:33,030 and such. Yeah. 956 00:34:33,409 --> 00:34:34,949 Oh, it'd just be so cool. 957 00:34:35,650 --> 00:34:36,710 It would be. Yes. 958 00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,969 So when you have all of this going 959 00:34:39,969 --> 00:34:42,050 on in your life, and I'm glad you're 960 00:34:42,050 --> 00:34:44,130 you're doing therapy. I hope that that's that's 961 00:34:44,130 --> 00:34:44,630 helping. 962 00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:46,885 When you've got all this going on in 963 00:34:46,885 --> 00:34:49,784 your life, what does that mean to 964 00:34:50,164 --> 00:34:51,065 how to function 965 00:34:51,764 --> 00:34:53,924 out in the, let's just throw quotes around, 966 00:34:53,924 --> 00:34:54,744 real world? 967 00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,085 Well, we have to be very aware of 968 00:34:58,085 --> 00:34:59,065 social cues. 969 00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:01,550 We have to be very aware 970 00:35:01,849 --> 00:35:03,390 that there is a time and place 971 00:35:03,690 --> 00:35:05,869 to show certain parts of yourself. 972 00:35:06,329 --> 00:35:08,250 Unfortunately, that's just the way it is. There's 973 00:35:08,250 --> 00:35:10,410 not going to be people who are always 974 00:35:10,410 --> 00:35:12,510 gonna welcome you with open arms regardless. 975 00:35:13,284 --> 00:35:15,144 That's something that we have struggled with 976 00:35:16,164 --> 00:35:18,005 is there's a time and place to fully 977 00:35:18,005 --> 00:35:19,844 express yourself, and there's a time and place 978 00:35:19,844 --> 00:35:21,945 to keep the lid on it, 979 00:35:22,965 --> 00:35:24,425 so to speak. Mhmm. 980 00:35:24,965 --> 00:35:27,550 Sure. What about things like going out and 981 00:35:27,550 --> 00:35:29,550 making a living? And does that make you 982 00:35:29,550 --> 00:35:32,109 nervous? Is, are there any systems set up 983 00:35:32,109 --> 00:35:33,710 out in the, in the world to help 984 00:35:33,710 --> 00:35:34,609 you with that? 985 00:35:34,989 --> 00:35:36,210 There are indeed, 986 00:35:37,309 --> 00:35:39,869 programs that can help us function and get 987 00:35:39,869 --> 00:35:42,655 a job and get accommodations that we need 988 00:35:42,655 --> 00:35:44,914 going forward. Right now, we have been unemployed 989 00:35:45,054 --> 00:35:47,074 for about 3 years, which sucks 990 00:35:47,454 --> 00:35:49,315 because we are getting 991 00:35:49,934 --> 00:35:50,835 legal benefits. 992 00:35:51,135 --> 00:35:52,994 What that will help us do essentially 993 00:35:53,589 --> 00:35:54,489 is help us 994 00:35:54,869 --> 00:35:57,109 get legal accommodations we need with any job 995 00:35:57,109 --> 00:35:57,929 we go for. 996 00:35:58,309 --> 00:35:59,989 When we do get a job somewhere, they 997 00:35:59,989 --> 00:36:02,010 will have to it'll be on legal paper. 998 00:36:02,069 --> 00:36:04,469 Hey. You need to accommodate Vex for these 999 00:36:04,469 --> 00:36:05,909 things. And these are things you need to 1000 00:36:05,909 --> 00:36:07,609 be aware of when you hire Vex. 1001 00:36:08,184 --> 00:36:12,284 Is that any job that terminates us for 1002 00:36:12,664 --> 00:36:15,164 being mentally ill or having these struggles, 1003 00:36:15,545 --> 00:36:17,244 legally, we'll have some issues because 1004 00:36:17,545 --> 00:36:20,184 that job, hypothetically, would have hired me going 1005 00:36:20,184 --> 00:36:22,105 and knowing that I legally needed it to 1006 00:36:22,105 --> 00:36:22,764 be accommodated. 1007 00:36:23,420 --> 00:36:24,780 I would imagine though, 1008 00:36:25,260 --> 00:36:27,599 from the perspective of an employer, 1009 00:36:27,980 --> 00:36:31,019 especially with your entire system, all having their 1010 00:36:31,019 --> 00:36:31,519 own 1011 00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:33,519 traits and abilities, 1012 00:36:34,700 --> 00:36:37,605 that it's almost a bonus getting you. 1013 00:36:38,144 --> 00:36:39,045 You know what I mean? 1014 00:36:41,025 --> 00:36:43,985 Because you have all these extra things going 1015 00:36:43,985 --> 00:36:44,485 on. 1016 00:36:44,945 --> 00:36:46,965 I would suppose so. Yeah. Unfortunately, 1017 00:36:47,345 --> 00:36:47,905 a lot of, 1018 00:36:48,465 --> 00:36:48,965 places 1019 00:36:49,345 --> 00:36:51,409 will not see it that way. They will 1020 00:36:51,409 --> 00:36:53,489 just look and think, oh, that's a very 1021 00:36:53,489 --> 00:36:56,690 unstable person, unpredictable. We shouldn't hire them. Right. 1022 00:36:56,690 --> 00:36:59,089 Well, that's why conversations like this are so 1023 00:36:59,089 --> 00:36:59,589 important. 1024 00:37:00,049 --> 00:37:02,150 I agree. I very, very much agree. 1025 00:37:02,655 --> 00:37:03,394 My mom, 1026 00:37:03,855 --> 00:37:05,635 when she would change, 1027 00:37:06,655 --> 00:37:08,914 there were subtle differences to her face. 1028 00:37:09,215 --> 00:37:11,454 She smelled a little different. It it I 1029 00:37:11,454 --> 00:37:13,375 don't know. Just I could always tell even 1030 00:37:13,375 --> 00:37:15,215 though nobody else in the family seemed to 1031 00:37:15,215 --> 00:37:17,235 be as aware of it as myself. 1032 00:37:17,780 --> 00:37:20,199 Do you find that your system also has 1033 00:37:20,339 --> 00:37:20,839 distinguishing 1034 00:37:21,699 --> 00:37:23,960 traits that slightly change you? 1035 00:37:24,339 --> 00:37:27,139 Yes. Absolutely. We've had to ask some of 1036 00:37:27,139 --> 00:37:28,760 our friends, about this 1037 00:37:29,059 --> 00:37:29,559 to 1038 00:37:29,945 --> 00:37:30,844 get some clarification. 1039 00:37:31,224 --> 00:37:33,304 Wulfric, for example, he's a very as a 1040 00:37:33,304 --> 00:37:35,545 very common fronter, we have been told that 1041 00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:36,844 when he does front, 1042 00:37:37,385 --> 00:37:39,784 our face just kind of, droops a little 1043 00:37:39,784 --> 00:37:42,204 bit, becomes more relaxed or melancholy. 1044 00:37:42,780 --> 00:37:44,860 Our voice tends to deepen and get a 1045 00:37:44,860 --> 00:37:45,679 little less 1046 00:37:46,460 --> 00:37:46,960 lively, 1047 00:37:47,420 --> 00:37:50,219 and we tend to speak more frankly about 1048 00:37:50,219 --> 00:37:52,880 certain things. Just one word responses or 1049 00:37:53,260 --> 00:37:55,760 think or or, like, speak very logistically 1050 00:37:56,219 --> 00:37:57,039 about things, 1051 00:37:57,654 --> 00:37:58,954 than we normally would. 1052 00:37:59,335 --> 00:38:02,295 Yeah. Interesting. And we've noticed like, we've we've 1053 00:38:02,295 --> 00:38:04,474 been told with a very polar opposite, 1054 00:38:04,934 --> 00:38:05,994 altar, Judas, 1055 00:38:06,454 --> 00:38:09,275 that when they front, they get very physically 1056 00:38:09,335 --> 00:38:10,714 lively. They get bouncy. 1057 00:38:11,250 --> 00:38:12,929 Their face brightens up, and they want to 1058 00:38:12,929 --> 00:38:14,610 pull people in and just be like, Hey, 1059 00:38:14,610 --> 00:38:15,489 let's go do this. 1060 00:38:16,449 --> 00:38:16,949 They 1061 00:38:17,489 --> 00:38:20,150 tend to just be have very bizarre behavior, 1062 00:38:20,610 --> 00:38:22,289 not in a bad way per se, but 1063 00:38:22,289 --> 00:38:24,309 more so eccentric and energetic. 1064 00:38:24,755 --> 00:38:27,335 It's all quite fascinating. Do you have any 1065 00:38:27,554 --> 00:38:28,054 good 1066 00:38:28,355 --> 00:38:31,074 resource just for the people who might be 1067 00:38:31,074 --> 00:38:33,474 interested in learning more about this? Was there 1068 00:38:33,474 --> 00:38:35,494 any kind of book that your family maybe 1069 00:38:35,875 --> 00:38:38,880 was given or that will help people understand 1070 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,219 it better? We did most of our research 1071 00:38:41,599 --> 00:38:42,420 looking into 1072 00:38:43,359 --> 00:38:45,300 websites that were written by psychologists 1073 00:38:45,679 --> 00:38:48,339 and people who have, this disorder 1074 00:38:49,039 --> 00:38:51,844 or branches of it. There isn't a specific 1075 00:38:51,905 --> 00:38:54,224 book or anything that we have, gotten to 1076 00:38:54,224 --> 00:38:54,724 read, 1077 00:38:55,264 --> 00:38:58,304 about it. I would say if anybody at 1078 00:38:58,304 --> 00:39:00,784 home is interested in learning more, do not 1079 00:39:00,784 --> 00:39:02,885 learn from TikTok. Do not learn 1080 00:39:03,410 --> 00:39:05,430 from, social media because 1081 00:39:05,809 --> 00:39:07,730 although some things might be true, you are 1082 00:39:07,730 --> 00:39:09,349 going to get a handful of things 1083 00:39:09,650 --> 00:39:10,150 that 1084 00:39:10,450 --> 00:39:12,369 are going to be wrong. You're gonna get 1085 00:39:12,369 --> 00:39:13,269 a lot of misinformation. 1086 00:39:14,289 --> 00:39:16,864 Please do look into websites that, like I 1087 00:39:16,864 --> 00:39:19,204 said, are written by psychiatrists, psychologists, 1088 00:39:19,984 --> 00:39:23,025 people that are, very, very much qualified to 1089 00:39:23,025 --> 00:39:24,244 speak about these things. 1090 00:39:24,864 --> 00:39:26,944 Even though something may be rare, it is 1091 00:39:26,944 --> 00:39:28,565 not out of the realm of possibility. 1092 00:39:29,420 --> 00:39:31,360 We have been told by people before 1093 00:39:32,220 --> 00:39:32,720 that 1094 00:39:33,099 --> 00:39:35,500 we, there's no way that we could be 1095 00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:37,900 a system because it's rare. And, 1096 00:39:39,180 --> 00:39:41,680 that never really made sense to us. 1097 00:39:43,704 --> 00:39:45,864 Yeah. My response to that is we don't 1098 00:39:45,864 --> 00:39:47,385 know what we don't know until we do 1099 00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:48,045 know it. 1100 00:39:48,905 --> 00:39:51,644 Exactly. I I love how you phrased that. 1101 00:39:52,025 --> 00:39:52,525 Yeah. 1102 00:39:52,824 --> 00:39:55,304 I was born with a paralyzed right vocal 1103 00:39:55,304 --> 00:39:57,659 cord, and I cannot tell you how many 1104 00:39:57,659 --> 00:39:59,500 ENTs, new ones, when I go to them 1105 00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:01,579 and I say, I have a paralyzed right 1106 00:40:01,579 --> 00:40:03,980 vocal cord, and they say, that's impossible. You 1107 00:40:03,980 --> 00:40:05,839 wouldn't be able to speak. And I say, 1108 00:40:06,380 --> 00:40:08,219 let's do the camera up the nose trick, 1109 00:40:08,219 --> 00:40:09,980 and you will see that it is very 1110 00:40:09,980 --> 00:40:12,239 possible and, in fact, a fact. 1111 00:40:12,664 --> 00:40:16,264 Indeed. And then those peoples understand that it 1112 00:40:16,264 --> 00:40:17,804 isn't impossible because 1113 00:40:18,425 --> 00:40:20,984 there are people out there that experience things. 1114 00:40:20,984 --> 00:40:21,724 Just because 1115 00:40:22,105 --> 00:40:24,184 you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't 1116 00:40:24,184 --> 00:40:24,684 exist. 1117 00:40:25,630 --> 00:40:27,010 That's such a frustration 1118 00:40:27,309 --> 00:40:29,090 for me that that people 1119 00:40:30,349 --> 00:40:32,609 say that to you or to anyone. 1120 00:40:33,630 --> 00:40:35,630 Yeah. I did have a conversation with a 1121 00:40:35,630 --> 00:40:37,409 family member at one point, 1122 00:40:37,869 --> 00:40:40,605 that was trying to convince me, like, no. 1123 00:40:40,605 --> 00:40:42,864 You are not a system because 1124 00:40:43,244 --> 00:40:46,065 it's rare, and there's no way that you 1125 00:40:46,445 --> 00:40:48,125 would have another friend who is also a 1126 00:40:48,125 --> 00:40:48,625 system. 1127 00:40:49,164 --> 00:40:51,804 It was only after meeting this friend of 1128 00:40:51,804 --> 00:40:52,304 mine 1129 00:40:53,109 --> 00:40:55,589 that we started to, like, really do research 1130 00:40:55,589 --> 00:40:57,130 into it and then realize, 1131 00:40:57,989 --> 00:40:58,489 hey. 1132 00:40:59,269 --> 00:41:00,949 That lines up with a lot of what 1133 00:41:00,949 --> 00:41:03,269 we have going on. Not everything per se, 1134 00:41:03,269 --> 00:41:04,409 but a lot of it. 1135 00:41:04,710 --> 00:41:06,389 And it took a lot of time after 1136 00:41:06,389 --> 00:41:09,304 that to even come forth with speaking about 1137 00:41:09,304 --> 00:41:09,804 it. 1138 00:41:10,344 --> 00:41:12,824 Listen, like, if you are going to try 1139 00:41:12,824 --> 00:41:13,885 and find your community 1140 00:41:14,744 --> 00:41:17,065 with this magical thing called the Internet, you're 1141 00:41:17,065 --> 00:41:19,484 going to find a group of people who 1142 00:41:19,784 --> 00:41:21,324 goes through something similar. 1143 00:41:21,829 --> 00:41:22,329 Absolutely. 1144 00:41:22,630 --> 00:41:25,690 And, again, this is how we find ourselves 1145 00:41:25,829 --> 00:41:27,769 is by the mirror of others. 1146 00:41:28,389 --> 00:41:30,889 So if you come across somebody that's experiencing 1147 00:41:31,110 --> 00:41:32,329 things that you're experiencing, 1148 00:41:34,005 --> 00:41:34,644 I mean, that's 1149 00:41:35,045 --> 00:41:37,605 to me, that seems like divine intervention to 1150 00:41:37,605 --> 00:41:39,625 help you understand yourself. 1151 00:41:40,164 --> 00:41:42,984 It definitely did help having a friend 1152 00:41:43,684 --> 00:41:44,184 who 1153 00:41:44,724 --> 00:41:46,824 was diagnosed with this and 1154 00:41:47,190 --> 00:41:49,190 living through it and having someone to talk 1155 00:41:49,190 --> 00:41:51,449 to and ask questions to. 1156 00:41:51,829 --> 00:41:54,329 In my understanding also of DID, 1157 00:41:54,949 --> 00:41:57,210 a traumatic event or series of events 1158 00:41:58,389 --> 00:41:58,889 created 1159 00:41:59,190 --> 00:42:01,609 the mind deciding it needed to protect 1160 00:42:01,989 --> 00:42:03,464 the host. And 1161 00:42:04,644 --> 00:42:06,885 once you are taken now I know in 1162 00:42:06,885 --> 00:42:07,864 my mother's case, 1163 00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:10,505 taking her away from the thing that traumatized 1164 00:42:10,644 --> 00:42:13,065 her did not solve the problem. 1165 00:42:13,684 --> 00:42:15,625 So I think a lot of people 1166 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,300 expect that once you're out of danger, 1167 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,539 that somehow you will reintegrate. 1168 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,519 But, I mean, I'm here to say that 1169 00:42:23,519 --> 00:42:25,599 that doesn't happen as far as my own 1170 00:42:25,599 --> 00:42:26,579 personal experience 1171 00:42:27,119 --> 00:42:28,880 in my family. Can you speak to that 1172 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,324 a little bit? Yes. That does not necessarily 1173 00:42:31,545 --> 00:42:32,045 happen. 1174 00:42:32,664 --> 00:42:35,144 Being able to fully integrate again is not 1175 00:42:35,144 --> 00:42:36,605 something that all systems, 1176 00:42:37,385 --> 00:42:38,764 experience. There are, 1177 00:42:39,704 --> 00:42:42,264 like, a good portion of systems that never 1178 00:42:42,264 --> 00:42:44,764 fully integrate into the one being again. 1179 00:42:45,570 --> 00:42:48,610 And although integration usually is seen as the 1180 00:42:48,610 --> 00:42:49,570 goal with, 1181 00:42:50,369 --> 00:42:51,590 the the system, 1182 00:42:52,210 --> 00:42:54,070 it's not always the goal for 1183 00:42:54,610 --> 00:42:57,090 certain systems for their own reasons, their own 1184 00:42:57,090 --> 00:42:57,989 personal reasons. 1185 00:42:58,289 --> 00:42:59,670 Perhaps it can be scary. 1186 00:43:00,244 --> 00:43:02,344 Perhaps they're just not able to. 1187 00:43:03,125 --> 00:43:05,045 When you are out of the danger zone 1188 00:43:05,045 --> 00:43:07,364 with the traumatic event or the series of 1189 00:43:07,364 --> 00:43:08,265 traumatic events, 1190 00:43:09,364 --> 00:43:11,525 you are correct. It does not just go 1191 00:43:11,525 --> 00:43:13,445 away. It does not vanish or disappear. It 1192 00:43:13,445 --> 00:43:15,960 is a personality disorder that sticks with you 1193 00:43:16,420 --> 00:43:17,539 from then forth. 1194 00:43:19,140 --> 00:43:19,640 And 1195 00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:21,300 in our case 1196 00:43:21,940 --> 00:43:22,440 well, 1197 00:43:23,059 --> 00:43:25,780 not every system remembers what their trauma is 1198 00:43:25,780 --> 00:43:28,119 or what the series of traumatic events was. 1199 00:43:28,125 --> 00:43:30,364 There are definitely some that do or have 1200 00:43:30,364 --> 00:43:32,045 an idea of what it was without the 1201 00:43:32,045 --> 00:43:32,545 details. 1202 00:43:32,844 --> 00:43:34,605 In our case, we know that one of 1203 00:43:34,605 --> 00:43:36,545 the big things was sexual assault. 1204 00:43:37,085 --> 00:43:38,864 It was sexual assault and 1205 00:43:40,539 --> 00:43:41,519 being suicidal 1206 00:43:42,219 --> 00:43:42,940 and having, 1207 00:43:44,299 --> 00:43:45,119 a lot of 1208 00:43:45,659 --> 00:43:46,799 how do I articulate? 1209 00:43:47,819 --> 00:43:48,319 Having 1210 00:43:49,260 --> 00:43:49,920 an outside 1211 00:43:50,299 --> 00:43:50,799 force 1212 00:43:51,260 --> 00:43:54,105 that was very demeaning on us. That is 1213 00:43:54,105 --> 00:43:56,204 my thoughts on that. Integration is not always 1214 00:43:56,264 --> 00:43:57,804 the goal for every system, 1215 00:43:58,344 --> 00:43:58,844 but 1216 00:43:59,144 --> 00:44:01,324 more often than not, it usually is. 1217 00:44:02,105 --> 00:44:03,485 Makes sense. And 1218 00:44:04,105 --> 00:44:06,045 as my mother ages, she's 1219 00:44:06,619 --> 00:44:08,539 pretty old at this point, she, 1220 00:44:09,179 --> 00:44:09,679 doesn't 1221 00:44:10,460 --> 00:44:11,519 switch really 1222 00:44:12,219 --> 00:44:13,679 as often or 1223 00:44:14,300 --> 00:44:16,780 even I've noticed that many of the people 1224 00:44:16,780 --> 00:44:19,420 I recognized when I was younger don't seem 1225 00:44:19,420 --> 00:44:21,605 to, whether or not they're around, they may 1226 00:44:21,605 --> 00:44:23,605 be around, but they don't come forward at 1227 00:44:23,605 --> 00:44:26,425 all. Maybe there's less need for the others. 1228 00:44:27,045 --> 00:44:29,204 I I don't know, but that's what I'm 1229 00:44:29,204 --> 00:44:29,704 assuming. 1230 00:44:30,804 --> 00:44:32,744 That definitely could be the case. 1231 00:44:34,579 --> 00:44:36,739 I honestly, I wouldn't know. I haven't met 1232 00:44:36,739 --> 00:44:38,039 a lot of older systems, 1233 00:44:38,660 --> 00:44:40,199 but I I would assume, 1234 00:44:41,059 --> 00:44:43,140 as the years go on, there might be 1235 00:44:43,140 --> 00:44:44,579 less need or, 1236 00:44:45,059 --> 00:44:48,275 most alters may have integrated or have become 1237 00:44:48,414 --> 00:44:51,315 inner self help rather than outer self help. 1238 00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:53,155 Yeah. It's a good way to put it. 1239 00:44:53,295 --> 00:44:55,934 Well, Vex, tell people how they might find 1240 00:44:55,934 --> 00:44:57,775 you if they wanna follow you on social 1241 00:44:57,775 --> 00:45:00,894 media or are you comfortable with getting that 1242 00:45:00,894 --> 00:45:03,849 out there? And if not, that's okay too. 1243 00:45:04,949 --> 00:45:07,510 I absolutely am. I am on TikTok as 1244 00:45:07,510 --> 00:45:08,010 valorvex75. 1245 00:45:09,349 --> 00:45:12,789 I post videos about Therianthropy, crazierness to it, 1246 00:45:12,789 --> 00:45:14,949 and sometimes just of me hanging out with 1247 00:45:14,949 --> 00:45:15,610 my friends. 1248 00:45:16,055 --> 00:45:17,735 I am not active on Instagram, but if 1249 00:45:17,735 --> 00:45:19,414 you do wanna follow me, it's the same 1250 00:45:19,414 --> 00:45:22,155 thing, valor Vex 75 or just valor Vex. 1251 00:45:22,614 --> 00:45:25,095 And as I've said before, we don't really 1252 00:45:25,095 --> 00:45:25,974 post about, 1253 00:45:26,775 --> 00:45:29,095 the DID or the OSDD stuff. If there's 1254 00:45:29,095 --> 00:45:31,630 any otherians out there who want to see 1255 00:45:31,630 --> 00:45:34,030 a creator and just get some information on 1256 00:45:34,030 --> 00:45:36,109 the identity of it, I do plan to 1257 00:45:36,109 --> 00:45:38,269 make more videos about it. And thank you 1258 00:45:38,269 --> 00:45:40,109 again, Susan, for having me on here. Bex, 1259 00:45:40,109 --> 00:45:42,030 I really appreciate you coming on the show 1260 00:45:42,030 --> 00:45:44,190 and being open to talking about your life 1261 00:45:44,190 --> 00:45:44,690 and 1262 00:45:45,150 --> 00:45:46,130 and getting 1263 00:45:46,784 --> 00:45:49,184 just more education out there for the things 1264 00:45:49,184 --> 00:45:51,764 that you're experiencing and who you are, and 1265 00:45:51,905 --> 00:45:54,224 I'm glad you're in the world navigating it. 1266 00:45:54,224 --> 00:45:55,204 I think it's important 1267 00:45:55,824 --> 00:45:58,704 to have all different kinds of humans on 1268 00:45:58,704 --> 00:46:01,789 the planet. I agree. Yeah. And Therians and 1269 00:46:01,789 --> 00:46:02,769 Mexican wolves. 1270 00:46:03,230 --> 00:46:03,730 Yeah. 1271 00:46:04,269 --> 00:46:04,769 Yep. 1272 00:46:05,309 --> 00:46:07,230 So thank you so much. And I do 1273 00:46:07,230 --> 00:46:10,590 wanna say for anybody listening, who is struggling 1274 00:46:10,590 --> 00:46:12,349 right now with their identity or feeling that 1275 00:46:12,349 --> 00:46:13,614 they're out of place in the world, you 1276 00:46:13,614 --> 00:46:15,795 are just as valid as anybody else, regardless 1277 00:46:15,855 --> 00:46:16,914 of what you're feeling. 1278 00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:18,355 And if you 1279 00:46:18,655 --> 00:46:20,894 really feel like there's nobody else out there 1280 00:46:20,894 --> 00:46:22,594 that's going through what you're going through, 1281 00:46:23,454 --> 00:46:26,015 just know that there's always gonna be somebody 1282 00:46:26,015 --> 00:46:27,989 who understands, even if it's not on the 1283 00:46:28,309 --> 00:46:29,849 full level that you would 1284 00:46:30,230 --> 00:46:32,230 really hope for. There's you're always gonna have 1285 00:46:32,230 --> 00:46:33,449 common ground with somebody. 1286 00:46:33,829 --> 00:46:35,690 Find your tribe, find your group, 1287 00:46:35,989 --> 00:46:38,010 and you'll be the happiest you can be. 1288 00:46:38,309 --> 00:46:40,844 Well said. Here's here here to that. Thank 1289 00:46:40,844 --> 00:46:43,425 you, Vex, and thank you for listening, everybody. 1290 00:46:43,965 --> 00:46:44,465 Bye. 1291 00:46:45,484 --> 00:46:45,984 Goodbye. 1292 00:46:49,804 --> 00:46:52,284 Rate and review and subscribe to Hey Human 1293 00:46:52,284 --> 00:46:55,170 Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your 1294 00:46:55,170 --> 00:46:55,670 podcast. 1295 00:46:55,969 --> 00:46:56,469 Thanks. 1296 00:46:56,769 --> 00:46:57,269 Bye.