1 00:00:08,105 --> 00:00:08,605 - Hey humans. 2 00:00:08,815 --> 00:00:10,885 How's it going? Susan Ruth here. 3 00:00:10,985 --> 00:00:12,965 Thanks for listening to another episode 4 00:00:13,425 --> 00:00:14,605 of Hey Human Podcast. 5 00:00:16,115 --> 00:00:20,605 This is episode 406, and my guest is Michael Mcbe. 6 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,205 Mike has quite a story. 7 00:00:24,185 --> 00:00:27,325 His childhood was intense to say the least. 8 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:31,525 Academic parents, an overbearing father, abuse 9 00:00:32,185 --> 00:00:36,645 and, uh, the PTSD and, and problems that arose from that. 10 00:00:37,445 --> 00:00:40,565 A frequent house guest was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 11 00:00:40,745 --> 00:00:43,805 His father was a tutor for Dr. King, 12 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:47,445 and that was a really interesting part of the story. 13 00:00:47,995 --> 00:00:49,965 Mike went on to have a career in medicine, 14 00:00:50,065 --> 00:00:54,685 but it was cut short by his addiction stemming from a lot 15 00:00:54,685 --> 00:00:56,725 of the trauma he suffered as a kid. 16 00:00:57,465 --> 00:01:00,285 Uh, he learned how to center his mind 17 00:01:00,305 --> 00:01:01,765 and self through karate 18 00:01:01,985 --> 00:01:04,645 and is still a practitioner of that to this day. 19 00:01:05,235 --> 00:01:08,325 He's sober. He has been for over a decade. 20 00:01:09,155 --> 00:01:11,365 He's a bassist, a musician, a founder. 21 00:01:11,685 --> 00:01:13,325 I shouldn't say bassist and musician, 22 00:01:13,335 --> 00:01:14,925 every basis just rolled their eyes. 23 00:01:15,435 --> 00:01:18,525 He's a bassist. His musician ship, uh, 24 00:01:19,065 --> 00:01:21,085 has had him in many bands 25 00:01:21,185 --> 00:01:25,005 and more specifically today, he is one of the founders 26 00:01:25,145 --> 00:01:26,645 of Circle the Earth 27 00:01:27,185 --> 00:01:29,165 and I'm gonna play a little bit of their music 28 00:01:29,705 --> 00:01:31,445 for you so you can hear. 29 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,025 Circle the Earth, 30 00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:35,725 - Is that a train rail? 31 00:01:35,725 --> 00:01:37,205 And recognize the coat she's wearing. 32 00:01:37,425 --> 00:01:39,845 It once belonged to a girl, I loud, 33 00:01:40,305 --> 00:01:42,885 and now the dirt is falling and it comes without a warning. 34 00:01:43,115 --> 00:01:45,445 It's raining down from the stars above, 35 00:01:45,985 --> 00:01:48,525 but they just burn out pieces, ran out, faith and breathing. 36 00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:50,325 Oh, that keeps some lady hat 37 00:01:52,355 --> 00:01:54,045 another from Atlanta. 38 00:01:55,405 --> 00:01:57,005 I fight the urge to answer 39 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:19,325 try. 40 00:02:28,885 --> 00:02:32,205 I used to rev when the pain staying bad straight, kind 41 00:02:32,205 --> 00:02:34,045 of missing this the way that take 42 00:02:34,715 --> 00:02:36,085 when I'm looking in the mirror. 43 00:02:36,135 --> 00:02:38,285 Wanna smash it with a hammer 'cause she's smiling 44 00:02:38,385 --> 00:02:39,725 and I can't relate. 45 00:02:40,385 --> 00:02:45,285 Ooh, another car from Atlanta. I fight the urge to answer 46 00:02:46,235 --> 00:02:47,325 - Because - I'm in a, 47 00:03:02,665 --> 00:03:02,885 - The, 48 00:03:17,725 --> 00:03:21,165 - I don't feel anything hate way. 49 00:03:21,485 --> 00:03:24,205 - I don't feel 50 00:03:25,995 --> 00:03:30,045 hateful the way that 51 00:03:42,535 --> 00:03:44,845 everything, but I 52 00:03:46,815 --> 00:03:50,605 still try. 53 00:04:01,905 --> 00:04:04,725 - And that was maniac on mute by circle, 54 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,325 the Earth Mic's band. 55 00:04:07,105 --> 00:04:08,245 And they are touring, 56 00:04:08,475 --> 00:04:10,245 they are doing all sorts of really fun stuff. 57 00:04:10,265 --> 00:04:13,685 So I'll definitely put links on the links page for you 58 00:04:13,685 --> 00:04:17,605 to check out how to listen to them and go see them live 59 00:04:17,905 --> 00:04:19,005 and all that good stuff. 60 00:04:20,045 --> 00:04:24,565 I really enjoyed the conversation. He is an fascinating guy. 61 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,925 I'm glad he is sober. That's, it's great. 62 00:04:27,545 --> 00:04:30,965 And it sounds like he is really gotten to a, 63 00:04:31,325 --> 00:04:33,125 a beautiful place in his life 64 00:04:33,905 --> 00:04:37,925 and is on the upswing as they say in other news. 65 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:42,805 I've got a Patreon now, it's under patreon.com/susan Ruth. 66 00:04:43,545 --> 00:04:44,605 Please check that out. 67 00:04:44,745 --> 00:04:46,765 I'm building a community there for he human 68 00:04:46,785 --> 00:04:48,525 and all my other artistic endeavors. 69 00:04:49,365 --> 00:04:51,325 I hope you'll be a part of it. 70 00:04:51,745 --> 00:04:55,485 I'm going to keep this, hey, human ad free. 71 00:04:55,665 --> 00:04:57,605 It helps to support that. 72 00:04:58,505 --> 00:05:01,965 And I am going to have a book club on there 73 00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:05,365 and do some musical stuff and share writing 74 00:05:05,665 --> 00:05:10,525 and just try to make the Patreon family grow 75 00:05:10,785 --> 00:05:12,765 and communicate with each other 76 00:05:12,865 --> 00:05:15,725 and have it be a really lovely artistic space. 77 00:05:15,865 --> 00:05:16,965 So please check it out. 78 00:05:17,195 --> 00:05:21,765 patreon.com/susan Ruth help keep this podcast going. 79 00:05:22,275 --> 00:05:25,725 Help keep Art going for the independence. 80 00:05:26,385 --> 00:05:30,325 Uh, so yeah, okay, uh, general stuff. 81 00:05:30,495 --> 00:05:33,045 Check out hey human podcast.com for links. 82 00:05:33,045 --> 00:05:34,365 And to learn more about my guests 83 00:05:34,465 --> 00:05:38,605 and the show, check out susan ruth.com to learn about me 84 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,245 and my other artistic endeavors. 85 00:05:40,425 --> 00:05:43,725 Follow Susan Ruths and hey, human podcast on social media 86 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:48,165 and find my albums on Spotify, apple Music, Amazon music, 87 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,845 wherever you get your music rate review and subscribe to. 88 00:05:51,865 --> 00:05:53,805 Hey, human podcast on iTunes 89 00:05:53,805 --> 00:05:55,565 or wherever you get your podcasts. 90 00:05:56,305 --> 00:05:58,645 And thank you. Thank you for listening. 91 00:05:59,345 --> 00:06:01,885 Be kind, be well, be love. 92 00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:07,205 We are in a crisis of humanity all over the world 93 00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:10,445 and it is a harrowing time, 94 00:06:10,845 --> 00:06:12,725 I guess maybe it's always been a harrowing time, 95 00:06:13,545 --> 00:06:17,965 but we need each other and we need our voices to be strong 96 00:06:18,305 --> 00:06:19,525 and to speak out 97 00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:21,645 and speak up for the people 98 00:06:21,645 --> 00:06:23,485 that don't have a voice and who need us. 99 00:06:23,935 --> 00:06:27,245 We're in this together, this, this planet, this human thing. 100 00:06:27,745 --> 00:06:30,965 And I love you. And yeah, here we go. 101 00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:34,605 Mike McVay, welcome to Hey human. 102 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:39,365 - Thank you for having me. - We have a mutual friend Chris 103 00:06:39,545 --> 00:06:41,045 who suggested we chat. 104 00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:43,565 Tell me where, where are you from? Where'd you grow up? 105 00:06:43,675 --> 00:06:44,925 What was growing up like? 106 00:06:45,645 --> 00:06:46,845 - I was born in Atlanta, Georgia, 107 00:06:47,305 --> 00:06:50,125 and um, both of my parents were college professors. 108 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,645 I grew up in the sixties during the civil rights era. 109 00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,325 My father was the first black American 110 00:06:55,325 --> 00:06:56,645 to get a PhD in a gamt 111 00:06:56,645 --> 00:06:57,925 chemistry from the University of Chicago. 112 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,925 My mother was the first Black American or any ethnic person 113 00:07:02,065 --> 00:07:04,085 or woman to get a PhD in mathematics 114 00:07:04,085 --> 00:07:05,165 or University of Georgia. 115 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,645 Then she went on to become the first female dean 116 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,005 and Black American dean of students at MIT. 117 00:07:11,545 --> 00:07:13,565 So I grew up on Morehouse college campus 118 00:07:13,565 --> 00:07:14,565 that my father taught. 119 00:07:14,945 --> 00:07:16,525 He trained more black chemists 120 00:07:16,525 --> 00:07:18,685 and PhDs than anybody in the country, even 121 00:07:18,685 --> 00:07:20,005 to this day, even though he is dead. 122 00:07:20,425 --> 00:07:22,365 So my entire background was academic. 123 00:07:22,865 --> 00:07:24,565 Uh, there was a lot of pressure on me to perform. 124 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:26,325 They dressed me up like Urkel 125 00:07:26,325 --> 00:07:27,965 and sent me to all black elementary school. 126 00:07:28,165 --> 00:07:32,005 I got beat up a lot. I got a scholarship to attend Atlanta. 127 00:07:32,005 --> 00:07:33,965 Georgia's last private white high school 128 00:07:33,965 --> 00:07:35,085 where I got beat up a lot 129 00:07:35,545 --> 00:07:37,805 and my dad beat me if I get anything less than an A. 130 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,925 So I had a lot of physical abuse as a child 131 00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:43,725 and that made me low, gave me a very low self-esteem. 132 00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:45,285 I felt it was as though I deserved this. 133 00:07:45,285 --> 00:07:48,125 Like something was wrong with me. That's all was happening. 134 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,965 Martin Luther King was a student 135 00:07:49,965 --> 00:07:51,525 of my dad used to come to my house for dinner. 136 00:07:51,965 --> 00:07:53,485 I went to elementary school with his kids. 137 00:07:53,485 --> 00:07:55,365 They used to bring pieces of bombs to show 138 00:07:55,365 --> 00:07:57,725 and tell pieces of artillery that was shot 139 00:07:57,725 --> 00:07:59,085 through the window to show and tell. 140 00:07:59,085 --> 00:08:00,645 That's the era that I grew up in. 141 00:08:01,235 --> 00:08:04,645 - What was it like, uh, growing up with the civil rights 142 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:08,885 movement, literally in your living room, especially knowing 143 00:08:08,885 --> 00:08:11,805 that you weren't feeling very liberated in your own home 144 00:08:11,805 --> 00:08:14,045 because you had all this pressure scholastically. 145 00:08:14,075 --> 00:08:15,645 - Exactly. Mm mm-Hmm . 146 00:08:16,425 --> 00:08:19,195 It was, uh, interesting. 147 00:08:19,515 --> 00:08:24,325 I started to, um, compartmentalize 148 00:08:24,985 --> 00:08:28,485 my true feelings and the external world 149 00:08:28,545 --> 00:08:30,805 and academic demands of the external world. 150 00:08:31,025 --> 00:08:32,925 Uh, I was in second grade 151 00:08:33,265 --> 00:08:36,925 and a girl sent me a ring 152 00:08:37,505 --> 00:08:39,605 and a letter and asked me to marry her 153 00:08:39,605 --> 00:08:42,405 and I left it at my books and my dad found it and beat me. 154 00:08:42,745 --> 00:08:44,725 And he said, this will distract you from academics. 155 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:48,205 You must never, it was, it was very confusing for me. 156 00:08:48,525 --> 00:08:49,805 , I got a straight A's 157 00:08:49,805 --> 00:08:50,845 though I tell you that . 158 00:08:51,585 --> 00:08:53,005 - That's awful. I'm so sorry. 159 00:08:53,005 --> 00:08:55,045 That happened to you before he died. 160 00:08:55,165 --> 00:08:57,525 Were you able to talk to him about 161 00:08:57,875 --> 00:08:59,925 - Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 162 00:09:00,035 --> 00:09:01,285 Yeah, yeah. I worked on that. 163 00:09:01,345 --> 00:09:03,245 So later in my life I became addicted to crack 164 00:09:03,545 --> 00:09:05,285 and alcohol for quite a long time. 165 00:09:05,385 --> 00:09:06,845 I'm sober for 14 years now. 166 00:09:07,105 --> 00:09:09,485 But all of that had to do with, uh, PTSD 167 00:09:09,945 --> 00:09:11,325 and sexual confusion 168 00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:13,245 and all the things that, that I went through 169 00:09:13,245 --> 00:09:14,325 as a child. I'm sure. 170 00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:16,965 - Were you sexually assaulted as well as a kid? 171 00:09:17,585 --> 00:09:19,165 - No, not, I was not sexually assaulted. 172 00:09:19,165 --> 00:09:21,765 - Alright. Is it just you or only child? 173 00:09:22,385 --> 00:09:24,845 - Uh, one younger brother. - Did he have the 174 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,045 same thing to endure? 175 00:09:26,325 --> 00:09:28,565 'cause sometimes in the family, the parent, no. 176 00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,405 - Yeah. Not at all. 177 00:09:30,645 --> 00:09:33,205 'cause I was like, the experiment, you know, so they, 178 00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:34,605 they beat him a lot less 179 00:09:35,185 --> 00:09:37,205 and he was a lot more normal than me. 180 00:09:37,325 --> 00:09:41,405 I was pretty wild and he was a lot more normal. 181 00:09:41,545 --> 00:09:44,805 So he, by the time he went to, he went to the same 182 00:09:45,895 --> 00:09:47,545 exclusive white high school that I went to, 183 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:51,185 but I already integrated it, so, so the opposition 184 00:09:51,305 --> 00:09:52,865 to him was much less 185 00:09:52,865 --> 00:09:54,665 that he start, I went to the high school. 186 00:09:54,805 --> 00:09:56,545 He started there in elementary school. 187 00:09:57,005 --> 00:09:58,465 So it was, they, they had, 188 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,865 those people had not learned the porosity of prejudice 189 00:10:00,865 --> 00:10:02,785 to the extent that the high school students had already. 190 00:10:03,005 --> 00:10:05,185 So he didn't face it anywhere near the backlash that I did. 191 00:10:06,295 --> 00:10:10,295 Have you ever seen show fresh principal Bel Air? Yes. Okay. 192 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:12,295 I'm, I'm fresh Prince and he's Carlton. 193 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,055 It's exactly like that. Okay. 194 00:10:14,255 --> 00:10:16,175 - . That's a good reference point. 195 00:10:17,195 --> 00:10:20,135 Did you have a sense of justice as a kid, 196 00:10:20,545 --> 00:10:22,455 especially since you were being beaten? 197 00:10:22,835 --> 00:10:26,295 Um, did you speak out for justice as a child 198 00:10:26,355 --> 00:10:29,415 or were you traumatized the point where you were quiet? 199 00:10:30,415 --> 00:10:35,335 - I sought refuge in, um, in music as, 200 00:10:35,515 --> 00:10:38,055 as I started playing music in high school as an outlet. 201 00:10:38,515 --> 00:10:41,455 And I started martial arts in high school as a way of, uh, 202 00:10:42,055 --> 00:10:45,575 I first did it for rage, the wrong reasons, 203 00:10:45,715 --> 00:10:47,775 but that was the reason I, how I started it. 204 00:10:48,435 --> 00:10:52,655 And, uh, I, my parents were really dedicated to education 205 00:10:52,655 --> 00:10:54,415 for minorities and I learned that from them. 206 00:10:55,075 --> 00:10:57,095 And so I emulated them in that respect. 207 00:10:57,155 --> 00:11:00,055 Uh, education is my opinion, the way out 208 00:11:00,515 --> 00:11:01,895 and academic performance 209 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:05,095 and quality of education to my point of view 210 00:11:05,155 --> 00:11:09,155 or the absolute reason for the different, the, 211 00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:12,115 for the continuing differential in the accomplishments 212 00:11:12,115 --> 00:11:13,275 of minorities in the United States. 213 00:11:14,105 --> 00:11:15,715 - What do you think needs to be done for that? 214 00:11:16,015 --> 00:11:17,635 - That's impossible to figure out. Man. 215 00:11:17,955 --> 00:11:18,995 Thousands of dollars need to be 216 00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:20,275 poured in the educational system. 217 00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:21,755 Integration needs to happen. 218 00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:24,755 They need to stop paying basketball players millions 219 00:11:24,755 --> 00:11:25,835 of dollars to throw a ball 220 00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:28,235 and teachers hundreds of thousand dollars to teach people. 221 00:11:28,315 --> 00:11:30,195 I mean, the fundamental changes are so, 222 00:11:30,895 --> 00:11:32,035 so deep it'll never happen. 223 00:11:32,635 --> 00:11:34,675 I think every professional athlete should 224 00:11:34,675 --> 00:11:37,305 sponsor 10 teachers. 20 teachers. 225 00:11:37,485 --> 00:11:39,225 - That's a great idea. Crazy. - Millions of dollars to, 226 00:11:39,295 --> 00:11:41,745 - There's a key in Peel sketch that's so great. 227 00:11:41,885 --> 00:11:44,425 And it's the draft only, it's for teachers 228 00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:47,185 and it's such a poignant sketch. 229 00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:49,505 - That's, I like, I need to see that. 230 00:11:49,655 --> 00:11:51,785 - Yeah, I'll send it to you. It's quite good. 231 00:11:52,285 --> 00:11:55,245 Do you have any fond memories of, about Dr. King? 232 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,285 - Yeah. Yeah. He was having difficulty in organic 233 00:11:57,285 --> 00:11:58,325 chemistry and . 234 00:11:58,365 --> 00:11:59,845 I saw my dad would tutor him 235 00:11:59,865 --> 00:12:01,405 and try to give him time off 236 00:12:01,405 --> 00:12:03,125 to go do his, uh, demonstrations. 237 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,845 It was interesting he, to see a man in that stature have 238 00:12:05,845 --> 00:12:07,685 to ask my dad for permission to miss class so he could go 239 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:08,805 and save the world. 240 00:12:08,905 --> 00:12:12,285 It was pretty cool. . Beautiful person. 241 00:12:13,045 --> 00:12:14,865 - Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 242 00:12:15,495 --> 00:12:17,625 What happened when you headed off to college? 243 00:12:18,335 --> 00:12:20,065 - Well, okay, let me tell you this. 244 00:12:20,065 --> 00:12:21,785 So I'm 10 years old 245 00:12:22,405 --> 00:12:25,665 and little beings of light start coming into my wall 246 00:12:25,665 --> 00:12:26,905 and I'm like five actually. 247 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:29,345 And floating me out into a ship and back. 248 00:12:29,685 --> 00:12:31,025 And I'm told my parents about it. 249 00:12:31,025 --> 00:12:33,785 And they told me that that was just my brain forming 250 00:12:33,885 --> 00:12:35,825 and they were just hallucinations that weren't real. 251 00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:39,025 So I believed that. And then sometimes I would ask them 252 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:40,225 to let me sleep in between them 253 00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:42,105 'cause I was so tired of these people taking me out. 254 00:12:42,325 --> 00:12:44,305 And they come in the room, leave my parents asleep, 255 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,505 float me out the ship and back. 256 00:12:45,925 --> 00:12:49,705 And that happened. Um, even when my brother was in my room, 257 00:12:49,925 --> 00:12:51,345 he would sleep and they'd float me out. 258 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:54,625 No one believed me. And I assumed that none of 259 00:12:54,625 --> 00:12:56,825 that was real until I went to Stanford. 260 00:12:57,345 --> 00:13:00,145 Stanford was a radical change from the way I grew up. 261 00:13:00,585 --> 00:13:02,065 I grew up with people who were still trying 262 00:13:02,065 --> 00:13:03,425 to figure out if evolution was real, 263 00:13:03,445 --> 00:13:05,345 if black people were human, things like that. 264 00:13:06,165 --> 00:13:08,065 And I walked into Stanford's campus 265 00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:12,265 and was the complete opposite, uh, vastly integrated. 266 00:13:12,545 --> 00:13:13,985 I saw Asians for the first time 267 00:13:14,845 --> 00:13:17,665 and Stanford was doing research and remote viewing, 268 00:13:17,665 --> 00:13:20,065 and they were teaching extraterrestrial civilizations like 269 00:13:20,085 --> 00:13:22,105 its biology or math with the reality of it. 270 00:13:22,765 --> 00:13:25,145 And all of that expanded my mind. 271 00:13:25,325 --> 00:13:28,825 And I had some further paranormal experiences in college 272 00:13:28,935 --> 00:13:31,225 that, uh, demonstrated to me the absolute truth 273 00:13:31,285 --> 00:13:33,105 of some spiritual stuff that came later. 274 00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:36,385 So it was a mind blowingly expansive experience going there. 275 00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,395 - Do you have any recollections of 276 00:13:39,425 --> 00:13:41,835 what would happen once you were taken from your 277 00:13:42,585 --> 00:13:43,915 home into the ship? 278 00:13:45,465 --> 00:13:47,155 - Just in just instruction. 279 00:13:47,825 --> 00:13:49,235 Instruction and preparation 280 00:13:49,255 --> 00:13:51,675 for some challenges later in life is all I can remember. 281 00:13:52,055 --> 00:13:53,915 And that they would be with me guiding me 282 00:13:53,935 --> 00:13:55,755 and, uh, observing me the whole time. 283 00:13:56,665 --> 00:13:58,005 - Do you feel that some 284 00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:01,405 of your addiction issues ha were correlated with that? 285 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:02,885 Or is that something different? 286 00:14:03,065 --> 00:14:04,485 - That's something I've always thought about. 287 00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:08,245 I think that my addiction issues are correlated with my, 288 00:14:08,275 --> 00:14:10,125 well, couple things. 289 00:14:10,745 --> 00:14:14,325 My grandfather was a Comanche Indian who was an alcoholic, 290 00:14:14,345 --> 00:14:16,045 so has some genetic predisposition. 291 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:19,285 And now that I look at it, I think that my parents 292 00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:22,005 academic excellence was just a 293 00:14:22,565 --> 00:14:25,605 socially acceptable expression of addiction too. 294 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,085 So I think I have this strong genetic 295 00:14:28,085 --> 00:14:30,125 component from both of them. 296 00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:32,285 Actually, when I took care of my mom later, 297 00:14:32,345 --> 00:14:33,485 she smoked obsessively. 298 00:14:33,725 --> 00:14:36,045 I never seen her smoke during her regular life, 299 00:14:36,045 --> 00:14:37,445 but when I took care of her in dementia, 300 00:14:37,445 --> 00:14:38,485 she smoked excessively. 301 00:14:38,585 --> 00:14:41,205 So I think there's a genetic contribution. 302 00:14:41,205 --> 00:14:43,165 There is a psychiatric contribution from the 303 00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:44,565 abuse that I had. 304 00:14:44,905 --> 00:14:46,765 And some of the pressures 305 00:14:46,765 --> 00:14:49,325 of the emergency room residency I went in when I was in med 306 00:14:49,325 --> 00:14:52,165 school at King also contributed to it. 307 00:14:52,745 --> 00:14:56,445 And just rebellion and, 308 00:14:56,785 --> 00:15:00,005 and wanting to experience the things of childhood 309 00:15:00,185 --> 00:15:02,325 and adolescence that didn't get to experience. 310 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,485 And a strong component really of spiritual seeking, 311 00:15:05,485 --> 00:15:06,485 just in the wrong direction. 312 00:15:07,105 --> 00:15:10,845 - Did you feel that any of the information given to you 313 00:15:12,005 --> 00:15:15,855 when you were taken, did that help you at all along the way? 314 00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,655 Or was it too hard to remember in the moment? 315 00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:21,655 - It didn't register with me that it could be a possibility 316 00:15:21,865 --> 00:15:25,415 until I took the, I I just thought it was some childhood 317 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:28,095 fantasies until I took extra stressful 318 00:15:28,175 --> 00:15:29,575 civilizations class at Stanford. 319 00:15:30,475 --> 00:15:33,655 And they, it's taught by award-winning physicists 320 00:15:33,655 --> 00:15:35,015 who are actually doing research. 321 00:15:35,015 --> 00:15:36,535 They can't tell you this, but they're actually doing 322 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:39,495 research on the recovery technology and all that. 323 00:15:40,395 --> 00:15:41,455 And it was mind blowing. 324 00:15:41,555 --> 00:15:44,775 And they, these are world tola physicists 325 00:15:44,775 --> 00:15:46,535 with multiple patents and, and, 326 00:15:46,635 --> 00:15:48,575 and electrical engineering and physics. 327 00:15:49,155 --> 00:15:50,375 The class is very systematic. 328 00:15:50,395 --> 00:15:54,305 It talked about the history of abduction phenomenon, 329 00:15:54,445 --> 00:15:57,025 the history of the visitations, 330 00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:59,145 how they go back in history, how they're happening now. 331 00:15:59,685 --> 00:16:02,105 And that over the next fi this is the 1972, 332 00:16:02,105 --> 00:16:05,185 and over the next 50 to a hundred years, we, 333 00:16:05,405 --> 00:16:07,625 we would see gradual disclosure. 334 00:16:07,725 --> 00:16:09,745 The fact that you're taking this class means you have some 335 00:16:09,745 --> 00:16:10,905 serious interests in the topic. 336 00:16:10,965 --> 00:16:12,905 So we can't teach it all to you now 337 00:16:13,065 --> 00:16:14,625 'cause it's not being disclosed to the public yet. 338 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,065 But just keep reading, keep your eyes open 339 00:16:16,065 --> 00:16:19,025 and you'll see a gradual disclosure was how the class was, 340 00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:20,265 uh, structured. 341 00:16:20,285 --> 00:16:23,025 And when they talked about the abduction phenomenon, 342 00:16:23,045 --> 00:16:24,305 how it runs in families 343 00:16:24,325 --> 00:16:26,825 and how it involves kids, um, thought back to my past 344 00:16:26,825 --> 00:16:28,425 and oh, that maybe that really happened. 345 00:16:28,685 --> 00:16:30,025 The life-changing event 346 00:16:30,025 --> 00:16:32,065 for me spiritually occurred as follows. 347 00:16:32,735 --> 00:16:33,865 They also teach a class, 348 00:16:33,935 --> 00:16:35,465 they also teach a class called 349 00:16:35,465 --> 00:16:36,625 ultra states of consciousness. 350 00:16:37,045 --> 00:16:39,345 And they are doing research and remote viewing 351 00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:42,785 and telekinesis with a regal and ingle swan and all that. 352 00:16:43,485 --> 00:16:45,385 And they have a neutrino detector buried 353 00:16:45,385 --> 00:16:47,585 underneath the ground, two miles under ground, surrounded 354 00:16:47,585 --> 00:16:50,105 by a tank of water to, uh, 355 00:16:50,165 --> 00:16:51,945 detect neutrinos coming from the sun. 356 00:16:51,965 --> 00:16:54,225 And it's buried underground and shielded. 357 00:16:54,225 --> 00:16:57,385 So it's to minimize the effective electromagnetic 358 00:16:58,215 --> 00:17:00,265 signals sent by humans, by people. 359 00:17:01,325 --> 00:17:02,825 So they said to Ingle Swan, 360 00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:04,145 if you really have these abilities, 361 00:17:04,155 --> 00:17:06,425 maybe you can try moving the nutri detector. 362 00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:10,225 And he did that. So the physicists that are running that, 363 00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:15,345 uh, part of the research, they, they have TAs. 364 00:17:16,085 --> 00:17:20,065 And the TAs are, uh, they have, uh, research assistants. 365 00:17:20,065 --> 00:17:22,305 Those research assistants are the TAs in our classes. 366 00:17:22,925 --> 00:17:25,585 So they're leaking to us as undergraduates 367 00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:26,945 for what's really happening in the research. 368 00:17:27,205 --> 00:17:28,745 So the campus is above about 369 00:17:28,745 --> 00:17:30,385 how this man moved the trino detector. 370 00:17:30,405 --> 00:17:33,025 And so the government poured a couple million dollars 371 00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:35,345 of mon uh, funding into Stanford Research Institute 372 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,785 and they generate that research forward. 373 00:17:38,175 --> 00:17:40,505 Okay. So my very get to the point, my very best friend, 374 00:17:40,505 --> 00:17:44,145 his name is Fred, he is super brilliant, uh, white guy, 375 00:17:44,145 --> 00:17:47,385 eventually became, uh, director of the family practice, uh, 376 00:17:47,695 --> 00:17:48,985 wing of, uh, Mayo Clinic. 377 00:17:49,795 --> 00:17:51,845 He's taking off the station's consciousness class. 378 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:54,085 And I'm taking all, uh, 379 00:17:54,175 --> 00:17:55,725 extra professional civilizations class. 380 00:17:55,725 --> 00:17:57,765 And we always talk about all the crazy stuff we hear. 381 00:17:58,785 --> 00:18:00,925 And my sophomore year, he goes to 382 00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:03,245 study at Stanford in England for the summer. 383 00:18:03,685 --> 00:18:06,045 I stay at Stanford to do karate 384 00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:07,485 and work in the psych department. 385 00:18:07,865 --> 00:18:10,285 And one night I had this dream and here we go. 386 00:18:10,305 --> 00:18:12,005 In this dream, I'm in a vapor form. 387 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,885 I emerged from the ground. 388 00:18:14,485 --> 00:18:17,165 I see blades of grass and like they're like trees. 389 00:18:17,225 --> 00:18:20,325 And as I assume human height, grass comes underneath me, 390 00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:23,085 I see the tire tracks of treads of a car as I 391 00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:25,325 assume human form next to the car. 392 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,565 I look around, there's nighttime, 393 00:18:28,085 --> 00:18:30,005 I see a house with lights on. 394 00:18:30,105 --> 00:18:32,325 The moon is out, the stars are out, the wind is blowing. 395 00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:35,085 I go into the house. Inside the house is a party. 396 00:18:35,525 --> 00:18:37,165 I look around in the party, I see a girl 397 00:18:37,165 --> 00:18:38,325 staring at me intently. 398 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:39,325 I haven't met in my life yet. 399 00:18:39,405 --> 00:18:41,605 I turned to the left and they're spread in the bedroom. 400 00:18:42,025 --> 00:18:43,485 And I'm like, what are you doing in my dream? 401 00:18:43,485 --> 00:18:45,725 And he said, I think I'm asleep at in 402 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:46,965 England having a dream. 403 00:18:47,065 --> 00:18:49,365 And you are probably asleep at Stanford. 404 00:18:49,455 --> 00:18:51,165 We're having a shared dream experience. 405 00:18:51,425 --> 00:18:52,725 And I said, this is not possible. 406 00:18:52,825 --> 00:18:54,485 I'm just having a vivid dream and you're in it. 407 00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,565 He goes, no, I think this is 408 00:18:56,565 --> 00:18:58,325 what they talk about in the author states 409 00:18:58,325 --> 00:19:00,525 of consciousness class, uh, astrals travel. 410 00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:02,125 I'm like, no, this is just a dream. 411 00:19:02,705 --> 00:19:06,245 He goes, wherever we are, reality is controlled by the mind. 412 00:19:06,265 --> 00:19:08,605 He waves his hand, the stars disappear, 413 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,605 the ceiling disappears, the stars come out, 414 00:19:10,785 --> 00:19:13,005 he waves his hand and makes the ceiling reappear. 415 00:19:13,305 --> 00:19:15,565 He says, you try it. I'm like, okay, I'll try it. 416 00:19:15,645 --> 00:19:19,925 I 6, 7, 8 times 13, 14 time I get the ceiling disappear. 417 00:19:20,015 --> 00:19:22,045 Stars come out and he says, look here. 418 00:19:22,545 --> 00:19:25,085 He opens the Chester drawers in the bedroom inside 419 00:19:25,085 --> 00:19:27,725 of tiny little people walking around getting in 420 00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:28,965 and out of bunk beds. 421 00:19:29,305 --> 00:19:30,725 I'm like, that's really weird. He goes, yeah. 422 00:19:30,945 --> 00:19:32,285 He says, when I wake up, I'm gonna 423 00:19:32,285 --> 00:19:33,405 write you a letter about this dream. 424 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:34,725 'cause there's no internet in those days. 425 00:19:34,985 --> 00:19:36,685 I'm like, you can't write me a letter about this dream. 426 00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:37,725 It's just a dream I'm having. 427 00:19:37,745 --> 00:19:39,925 He says, I promise I'll write the letter. Okay, fine. 428 00:19:40,505 --> 00:19:43,205 We shake hands a vertical Whirlpool appears, 429 00:19:43,345 --> 00:19:44,925 his hand slips off in the whirlpool. 430 00:19:44,925 --> 00:19:47,285 My dream goes on with music and all this kinda shit. 431 00:19:47,785 --> 00:19:48,845 And two weeks later, 432 00:19:49,245 --> 00:19:51,605 'cause it's in those days that I got a letter from him 433 00:19:51,795 --> 00:19:53,965 with pictures of the house, pictures of the ceiling, 434 00:19:53,965 --> 00:19:56,285 pictures of the stars, pictures of bunk beds, the whirlpool. 435 00:19:56,285 --> 00:19:59,005 Did you have this dream? And that changed my life. 436 00:19:59,075 --> 00:20:00,845 When that happened to me, I realized 437 00:20:00,955 --> 00:20:02,805 that probably extra stress was real. 438 00:20:03,765 --> 00:20:05,645 Probably all the shit they're teaching me is absolutely 439 00:20:05,645 --> 00:20:07,245 true and I better figure it out. 440 00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:09,405 And it's just something that science has not taught me yet. 441 00:20:09,405 --> 00:20:11,085 It's not, it doesn't have to be anything 442 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,485 scary, although I was frightened. 443 00:20:12,925 --> 00:20:15,685 I just spent the rest of my time trying to figure that out. 444 00:20:15,825 --> 00:20:17,325 It didn't stop me from doing drugs, 445 00:20:17,545 --> 00:20:19,685 but it did lead me to a spiritual teacher 446 00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,325 to some wonderful spiritual experiences 447 00:20:21,325 --> 00:20:23,805 that formed the foundation for my recovery later in life. 448 00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:26,515 - When I was in high school in ninth grade, 449 00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:29,715 my best friend Diana and I practiced every day 450 00:20:29,715 --> 00:20:31,595 after school to, we would take a nap 451 00:20:31,615 --> 00:20:33,515 and we would try to get into each other's dreams. 452 00:20:33,935 --> 00:20:36,755 Wow. And we practiced every single night. 453 00:20:36,915 --> 00:20:38,475 'cause we had read about it in books. Mm-Hmm. . 454 00:20:38,815 --> 00:20:40,435 And we, it worked once. 455 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,795 - That's amazing. We 456 00:20:41,795 --> 00:20:43,155 - Did it and we worked once 457 00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:44,795 and we both woke up from the dream, 458 00:20:44,795 --> 00:20:46,195 we're like, oh my God, we did it. 459 00:20:46,415 --> 00:20:48,605 It was so cool. 460 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,605 - Beautiful. And you both 461 00:20:50,885 --> 00:20:52,245 remembered it when you, when you woke up? Oh 462 00:20:52,245 --> 00:20:53,245 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 463 00:20:53,245 --> 00:20:54,205 - Yeah. That's amazing dude. Yeah. 464 00:20:54,385 --> 00:20:56,125 I'm, I'm so happy to hear that from somebody. 465 00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:57,965 - Yeah, it was really cool. 466 00:20:58,065 --> 00:20:59,925 So I, I do believe in that kind of thing. 467 00:21:00,115 --> 00:21:01,885 Have you been visited as an adult? 468 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:06,305 - I don't have any. Here's the deal. 469 00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:09,305 After childhood, I started to 470 00:21:09,305 --> 00:21:11,865 after project into the atmosphere 471 00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:13,185 and they would, during dreams, 472 00:21:13,215 --> 00:21:14,505 then they would meet me on a ship 473 00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:16,425 and tell me that from now on out, 474 00:21:17,005 --> 00:21:18,945 the experiences would be in the dream state 475 00:21:19,005 --> 00:21:20,025 and I would be observed. 476 00:21:20,025 --> 00:21:21,785 There wouldn't be any more physical visitation. 477 00:21:21,785 --> 00:21:22,945 So as an adult, no more, 478 00:21:23,455 --> 00:21:25,705 - Does that bum you out or are you okay with that? 479 00:21:26,205 --> 00:21:28,345 - No, I'm, I, I've handled, I have had about as much 480 00:21:28,365 --> 00:21:29,705 as I can handle . 481 00:21:30,705 --> 00:21:32,505 I dunno if I'd be ready for that. An adult. 482 00:21:33,485 --> 00:21:35,105 - How old were you when you started using? 483 00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:39,185 - Was about, see over 14 years. So I stopped when I was 55. 484 00:21:39,305 --> 00:21:40,745 I used for like 25 years. 485 00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:44,905 So around 35, 33 around there. 486 00:21:45,445 --> 00:21:49,345 - And that was a response of, of internalized PTSD. 487 00:21:49,815 --> 00:21:52,065 - Yeah. That and, uh, sexual confusion. 488 00:21:52,405 --> 00:21:55,985 And I was in a really high intensity, uh, neural 489 00:21:57,225 --> 00:21:59,865 surgical trauma rotation at Martin Luther King Hospital 490 00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,065 was a level one trauma center. 491 00:22:01,065 --> 00:22:02,185 And obviously a lot of blood, 492 00:22:02,305 --> 00:22:03,465 a lot of death, a lot of pressure. 493 00:22:03,645 --> 00:22:08,185 And when I did a, I just was smoking to study, 494 00:22:08,455 --> 00:22:09,665 smoking cracks and study. 495 00:22:09,765 --> 00:22:13,105 But, um, the immediate relief it gave me from the pressures 496 00:22:13,105 --> 00:22:15,665 of work led me into addiction over, 497 00:22:15,695 --> 00:22:16,825 over about a six month period. 498 00:22:17,935 --> 00:22:19,555 - Had you wanna be a doctor, 499 00:22:19,695 --> 00:22:21,795 was neurosurgery something you were interested in? 500 00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:23,635 - It was just a rotation I had to take 501 00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:25,275 as an emergency room, uh, training. 502 00:22:25,895 --> 00:22:27,635 - And when did things start to fall apart? 503 00:22:28,175 --> 00:22:29,515 - Oh, dude, I'm strong. I laughed. 504 00:22:29,955 --> 00:22:32,475 you, you, on one hand, they started 505 00:22:32,475 --> 00:22:33,555 to fall apart in six months 506 00:22:33,555 --> 00:22:34,715 when I stopped going to residency. 507 00:22:34,715 --> 00:22:37,235 But I had my license already, so I just went out 508 00:22:37,235 --> 00:22:38,995 and moonlighted and got high. 509 00:22:39,115 --> 00:22:41,035 I I lasted a good 20 years 510 00:22:41,055 --> 00:22:42,955 before I came to the attention of the medical board. 511 00:22:43,115 --> 00:22:44,475 'cause I was, well, that's not true. 512 00:22:44,755 --> 00:22:46,675 I I came to the attention of the medical board within three 513 00:22:46,675 --> 00:22:49,755 or four years, but I survived and kept getting high 514 00:22:49,755 --> 00:22:51,475 and dodging bullets for 20 years. 515 00:22:52,215 --> 00:22:53,555 - Wow. How did you manage that? 516 00:22:54,335 --> 00:22:58,715 - Really creative. Yeah. Just, yeah, just, yeah. I'm, yeah. 517 00:22:58,715 --> 00:23:00,595 Using my creativity in the wrong way. 518 00:23:01,865 --> 00:23:04,325 - And you mentioned sexual confusion. What does that mean? 519 00:23:04,745 --> 00:23:06,565 - Uh, I'm bisexual and I, and, 520 00:23:06,625 --> 00:23:08,925 and coming to grips 521 00:23:08,925 --> 00:23:10,645 with the homosexual part was really tough 522 00:23:10,645 --> 00:23:11,885 because I grew up in Georgia in 523 00:23:11,885 --> 00:23:13,005 those days it was really tough. 524 00:23:14,195 --> 00:23:16,735 - Mm-Hmm. . And also my understanding is in 525 00:23:16,735 --> 00:23:18,215 the, in the black culture also, 526 00:23:18,405 --> 00:23:20,455 homosexuality is a big No-No uhhuh. 527 00:23:20,495 --> 00:23:21,495 . 528 00:23:21,935 --> 00:23:23,305 - Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Mm-Hmm. . 529 00:23:24,095 --> 00:23:25,745 Yeah, definitely. But 530 00:23:26,045 --> 00:23:27,585 - Do you feel more centered in that 531 00:23:27,805 --> 00:23:28,805 - Now? 532 00:23:28,805 --> 00:23:30,905 Absolutely. Yeah. I'm in Los Angeles 533 00:23:31,085 --> 00:23:32,905 now, so it's a whole lot easier. Yeah, definitely. 534 00:23:33,575 --> 00:23:37,745 - Yeah. Let's talk about karate. What got you into that? 535 00:23:37,935 --> 00:23:39,585 - Started karate in high school 536 00:23:39,615 --> 00:23:42,585 because, uh, white chick had a crush on, started the class, 537 00:23:43,205 --> 00:23:46,725 but once I started taking it, uh, it was a way for me 538 00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:48,605 to express the rage from all the 539 00:23:48,765 --> 00:23:49,965 physical abuse that I had been having. 540 00:23:50,465 --> 00:23:53,565 And when I gotta Stanford, I lucked into a class 541 00:23:53,565 --> 00:23:57,525 that was taught by a Japanese master who was also 542 00:23:58,975 --> 00:24:00,275 had grips with the philosophical 543 00:24:00,415 --> 00:24:03,755 and the spiritual aspects of it, not just a karate teacher. 544 00:24:04,375 --> 00:24:06,875 So after the third month, he pulled me to the side 545 00:24:06,875 --> 00:24:08,155 and he said, he's Japanese, right? 546 00:24:08,455 --> 00:24:11,115 He says, I can't teach you anymore. I'm like, why? 547 00:24:11,155 --> 00:24:13,715 I come all the time. I train extra. I could work on the bag. 548 00:24:13,775 --> 00:24:16,155 Why you? And he said, I'm not from this country. 549 00:24:16,575 --> 00:24:18,915 He said, but from what I can see, you just need to get a gun 550 00:24:18,915 --> 00:24:20,875 and shoot some white people and get her over with . 551 00:24:21,975 --> 00:24:24,955 - Oh my God. So he saw your rage. 552 00:24:25,665 --> 00:24:27,795 - Yeah, Uhhuh. So he said, I can't teach you. 553 00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:28,915 I can't promote this. You have 554 00:24:28,915 --> 00:24:30,995 to take a month off at least, and read these books. 555 00:24:31,255 --> 00:24:33,595 And he gave me some Buddhist books and some spiritual shit. 556 00:24:34,135 --> 00:24:35,435 And, uh, I came back 557 00:24:35,435 --> 00:24:36,835 and said, please teach me again, I'll change. 558 00:24:37,135 --> 00:24:40,975 And he did. And, uh, he, he was like a second father to me. 559 00:24:41,295 --> 00:24:44,535 I really, uh, embraced the Asian philosophy. 560 00:24:45,005 --> 00:24:46,135 That sounds racist, but, 561 00:24:46,395 --> 00:24:49,095 but the philosophy, you know, ethics and morality 562 00:24:49,115 --> 00:24:53,615 and spirituality and how it's, uh, an expression of love, 563 00:24:53,755 --> 00:24:55,095 not trying to hurt people. 564 00:24:55,155 --> 00:24:57,615 And anyway, it really, yeah, it really helped me. 565 00:24:57,645 --> 00:25:00,055 - It's a defensive art, not an offensive art. Correct. 566 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:01,495 - Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. 567 00:25:01,915 --> 00:25:05,615 And then I guess I get just as much satisfaction out of it 568 00:25:05,615 --> 00:25:06,735 as I did outta drugs. 569 00:25:07,315 --> 00:25:10,135 So it, early on I was smoking marijuana all day, 570 00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,175 every day in college. 571 00:25:11,595 --> 00:25:14,335 But I figured I, I discovered I couldn't do it high. 572 00:25:14,835 --> 00:25:18,625 And that put a check on my marijuana consumption, 573 00:25:18,665 --> 00:25:20,785 which is an early expression of my upcoming, you know, 574 00:25:20,785 --> 00:25:21,785 my later on addiction. 575 00:25:22,285 --> 00:25:24,425 So I, I didn't smoke until 576 00:25:24,425 --> 00:25:25,705 after karate at night instead 577 00:25:25,705 --> 00:25:27,185 of all day like I previously did. 578 00:25:27,805 --> 00:25:30,905 And even to this day now, karate is a foundation 579 00:25:30,905 --> 00:25:33,825 of my recovery, uh, spirituality and something that, 580 00:25:33,845 --> 00:25:36,425 and karate and music give me, uh, gratification 581 00:25:36,425 --> 00:25:38,985 and fulfillment that I was seeking through drugs before. 582 00:25:39,485 --> 00:25:40,625 - Did you go to rehab 583 00:25:40,645 --> 00:25:42,345 or were you able to quit everything on your own? 584 00:25:42,565 --> 00:25:44,345 - Oh, I went to rehab. I went to, I've been 585 00:25:44,345 --> 00:25:45,785 to rehab probably six or eight times, 586 00:25:46,525 --> 00:25:48,785 but the last time they, uh, the government, 587 00:25:48,805 --> 00:25:50,425 the court put me into six months 588 00:25:50,425 --> 00:25:51,825 of mandatory inpatient treatment. 589 00:25:52,285 --> 00:25:53,385 And that got through to me. 590 00:25:53,605 --> 00:25:55,945 And I never, never went back braced the program 591 00:25:56,085 --> 00:25:57,665 and let go of my ego after that. 592 00:25:58,205 --> 00:26:00,985 And I realized that I, I, they took me away from music 593 00:26:01,085 --> 00:26:03,385 and all this shit and karate and the stuff I loved. 594 00:26:03,445 --> 00:26:06,985 So I went back and, uh, just stuck with it. 595 00:26:06,985 --> 00:26:09,425 So I've been sober a little bit over 14 years. 596 00:26:09,915 --> 00:26:11,585 - How'd you support your habit that long? 597 00:26:12,745 --> 00:26:14,545 - I was a doctor, dude. I, yeah, I, I'm a doctor. 598 00:26:14,685 --> 00:26:15,945 I'm making money and partying. 599 00:26:16,185 --> 00:26:18,145 - DI saw a clip once. 600 00:26:18,415 --> 00:26:20,465 It's professor talking to a group 601 00:26:20,465 --> 00:26:21,665 of first year med students, 602 00:26:21,885 --> 00:26:25,705 and basically said that the, 603 00:26:25,845 --> 00:26:28,625 the most addicted people are the dentists, the doctors 604 00:26:29,565 --> 00:26:30,585 and the lawyers. 605 00:26:30,775 --> 00:26:32,345 They, they have the highest instance 606 00:26:32,345 --> 00:26:33,945 of drug and alcohol abuse. 607 00:26:34,735 --> 00:26:36,905 - Yeah. And out of the doctors, the highest instance 608 00:26:36,905 --> 00:26:39,465 of abuse are emergency room physicians, uh, 609 00:26:39,845 --> 00:26:41,665 anesthesiologists and psychiatrists. 610 00:26:41,885 --> 00:26:45,085 - So a lot of heavy lifting that they have to bear. 611 00:26:45,385 --> 00:26:47,805 Uh, I don't know, having not gone 612 00:26:47,805 --> 00:26:49,445 through the education, I don't know. 613 00:26:49,465 --> 00:26:53,365 But I would hope that they also teach ways to, 614 00:26:54,465 --> 00:26:56,485 uh, let that stuff out of the person 615 00:26:56,485 --> 00:26:57,885 that's holding that space. 616 00:26:58,625 --> 00:27:00,885 - Mm-Hmm. , unfortunately, that's not a major 617 00:27:01,675 --> 00:27:04,325 part of the education, and at least not in those days. 618 00:27:04,485 --> 00:27:08,045 I think these days there probably is the awareness of the 619 00:27:08,755 --> 00:27:11,645 medical aspects and the treatment aspects of drug addiction. 620 00:27:11,665 --> 00:27:13,925 And it not being a character defect 621 00:27:13,985 --> 00:27:16,965 or character flaws, the way they used 622 00:27:16,965 --> 00:27:19,565 to pass judgment on it, has progressed to the point 623 00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:23,645 that there are probably more, uh, classes 624 00:27:23,945 --> 00:27:27,285 and education time spent to handling issues like 625 00:27:27,285 --> 00:27:29,045 that than there were before when I was in school. 626 00:27:29,585 --> 00:27:31,405 - Did you lose your license over all of 627 00:27:31,405 --> 00:27:32,405 - This? 628 00:27:32,405 --> 00:27:33,885 Oh, definitely. Uhhuh, I surrendered it. 629 00:27:33,885 --> 00:27:36,365 I say I surrendered it once, got it back, 630 00:27:37,325 --> 00:27:38,565 surrendered it again, and now I 631 00:27:38,645 --> 00:27:39,685 gotta try to get it back again. 632 00:27:39,745 --> 00:27:42,365 Now I've been, I surrendered it 10 years ago, 633 00:27:42,945 --> 00:27:46,045 and I work in the medical field right up to the point 634 00:27:46,045 --> 00:27:48,005 of making medical decisions, so it's still legal. 635 00:27:48,145 --> 00:27:50,685 And so I'm still in it and still fluent in it, 636 00:27:50,685 --> 00:27:51,765 but I have to take an exam 637 00:27:51,825 --> 00:27:53,925 and just that I haven't had time to do it 638 00:27:53,925 --> 00:27:56,485 because, uh, music has really taken over right now. 639 00:27:57,155 --> 00:27:58,725 - Yeah. Let's, let's get into that. 640 00:27:58,745 --> 00:28:02,405 You started doing music at a young age and, and kept going, 641 00:28:02,625 --> 00:28:04,965 and that was another form of refuge for you. 642 00:28:06,125 --> 00:28:08,765 - Absolutely, yes. Uhhuh , there was a band, 643 00:28:08,785 --> 00:28:11,525 uh, the kids in my neighborhood played in a band, 644 00:28:11,585 --> 00:28:13,485 put a band together, and it was the, 645 00:28:14,565 --> 00:28:16,005 I heard it, it was like, great. 646 00:28:16,465 --> 00:28:19,205 And I, my parents, I took a couple of piano lessons, 647 00:28:19,345 --> 00:28:20,925 but they wouldn't support me doing music. 648 00:28:20,985 --> 00:28:22,645 So I had to figure out what could I teach 649 00:28:22,645 --> 00:28:23,685 myself that'd be the easiest. 650 00:28:23,865 --> 00:28:26,445 So Bass had four strings. I figured that'd be the easiest. 651 00:28:26,545 --> 00:28:29,445 So I got my mom to get me bass played in a high school band. 652 00:28:29,445 --> 00:28:33,405 And when I got to college, I met a black guy who was like, 653 00:28:33,655 --> 00:28:36,285 incredible, this, that, the college was amazing. 654 00:28:36,285 --> 00:28:38,045 This guy had, his name is John Ivy, 655 00:28:38,045 --> 00:28:39,125 he's a federal judge now. 656 00:28:39,145 --> 00:28:42,085 He had scholarship in acting, a scholarship in music, 657 00:28:42,155 --> 00:28:44,245 scholarship in academics, this kind of guy, right. 658 00:28:44,245 --> 00:28:46,525 He was a keyboard virtue, also incredible. 659 00:28:46,545 --> 00:28:49,005 He could play, he was like Jimi Hendrix on keyboards. 660 00:28:49,505 --> 00:28:51,485 And I met him and we started playing the band, 661 00:28:51,485 --> 00:28:54,885 and he just taught me how to, how to, how to run a band 662 00:28:54,945 --> 00:28:57,525 and how to do, how to arrange songs, how to write songs, how 663 00:28:57,525 --> 00:28:59,525 to rehearse, all the stuff I had no idea about. 664 00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:02,845 And we actually pursued music in Los Angeles for 20, 665 00:29:03,145 --> 00:29:06,725 20 years in a progressive rock band called Taliman. 666 00:29:06,725 --> 00:29:09,685 And I learned everything about how 667 00:29:10,545 --> 00:29:12,165 to do a band from him. 668 00:29:12,505 --> 00:29:14,205 And then eventually he went back to law school 669 00:29:14,205 --> 00:29:15,645 and became a federal judge now. 670 00:29:16,145 --> 00:29:18,165 But I learned, I learned everything from him. 671 00:29:19,745 --> 00:29:22,125 - And when did you get into Circle the Earth? 672 00:29:22,225 --> 00:29:23,405 Did you, are you one of the founders? 673 00:29:24,345 --> 00:29:25,525 - I'm the founder of Circle the Earth. Yeah. 674 00:29:25,635 --> 00:29:27,485 I've been playing music originally in Los Angeles 675 00:29:27,485 --> 00:29:28,765 since 1976. 676 00:29:28,765 --> 00:29:32,125 When I got here. I had a band called Talisman for 20 years. 677 00:29:32,635 --> 00:29:35,445 Then I switched, I met a guy named Phil Van Ha on guitar, 678 00:29:35,465 --> 00:29:37,085 and we switched to Commercial Rock. 679 00:29:37,395 --> 00:29:38,765 That band was called Icebreaker. 680 00:29:39,005 --> 00:29:42,085 I had, I discovered Eric Singer, the drummer for Kiss. 681 00:29:42,105 --> 00:29:44,925 Now, when he first got into Los Angeles from Ohio, 682 00:29:45,345 --> 00:29:46,765 we played together for a year or so 683 00:29:46,765 --> 00:29:51,445 before we went on to, uh, leader Ford and, um, David Boy, 684 00:29:51,465 --> 00:29:52,565 and finally in Kiss. 685 00:29:53,025 --> 00:29:55,165 And I played with Chris Poland, the guitar player 686 00:29:55,165 --> 00:29:56,725 who was eventually ended up in Mega Death. 687 00:29:57,185 --> 00:30:00,005 Oh, wow. So I've run, yeah, I run across some star, 688 00:30:00,005 --> 00:30:01,805 some future stars back in those days. 689 00:30:02,465 --> 00:30:05,485 And then I stopped and got into drugs for a while, 690 00:30:05,825 --> 00:30:09,485 and I met a girl named Candace Aragon, who was a 691 00:30:10,425 --> 00:30:12,925 pop rock singer songwriter, put together a band behind her. 692 00:30:13,225 --> 00:30:15,565 She took off, and that band just told me 693 00:30:15,565 --> 00:30:17,245 to just get another single, we keep going there. 694 00:30:17,435 --> 00:30:20,045 That became, I put Icebreaker together again. 695 00:30:20,185 --> 00:30:22,765 And then that changed in the Soul Rising. 696 00:30:23,025 --> 00:30:25,885 And then that changed in the Circle of the Earth. 697 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,685 I found The Circle of the Earth currently has been together 698 00:30:29,225 --> 00:30:30,725 in its current lineup, two or three years. 699 00:30:30,725 --> 00:30:32,925 But I've been with the drummer, Sandra Feliciano, 700 00:30:32,925 --> 00:30:35,965 who toured the world with Tina Marie and, uh, Lauren Hill. 701 00:30:36,635 --> 00:30:38,165 I've been with him 14 years. 702 00:30:38,555 --> 00:30:42,885 Next person was, uh, Lee Singer Kaiya, who sang with Prince 703 00:30:42,885 --> 00:30:44,005 and Imagine Dragons. 704 00:30:44,065 --> 00:30:48,965 And after that was Sandy, uh, Chinese, uh, 705 00:30:50,165 --> 00:30:51,645 keyboardist who played with a lot of famous Chinese 706 00:30:51,645 --> 00:30:52,725 artists, I don't know who they are. 707 00:30:52,985 --> 00:30:55,285 And finally, Zuki to Tokaji 708 00:30:55,365 --> 00:30:56,645 and Guitar Virtue also, 709 00:30:56,645 --> 00:30:57,805 I've been with him for two or three years. 710 00:30:57,825 --> 00:31:00,045 And that's the current lineup at this point. 711 00:31:00,135 --> 00:31:02,645 We're, as of yesterday, we're changing lead singers, 712 00:31:02,645 --> 00:31:04,165 but that's the lineup that people know. 713 00:31:04,515 --> 00:31:07,925 - Yeah. All right. And what else are you up to? 714 00:31:07,995 --> 00:31:10,005 What are you doing? How do you stay focused? 715 00:31:10,225 --> 00:31:14,125 How do you channel your spirituality into 716 00:31:14,125 --> 00:31:15,285 your daily life? 717 00:31:16,025 --> 00:31:18,525 - The experience with the dream with Fred 718 00:31:19,225 --> 00:31:20,765 was only the beginning 12 719 00:31:20,905 --> 00:31:22,805 or 13 episodes of 720 00:31:23,475 --> 00:31:26,725 wild spiritual activity experiences occurred to me 721 00:31:27,065 --> 00:31:28,085 as my life progressed. 722 00:31:28,085 --> 00:31:31,205 When I got here in Los Angeles, I ran into a, eventually 723 00:31:31,205 --> 00:31:33,165 to a spiritual s teacher named John Rogers. 724 00:31:33,165 --> 00:31:35,005 He's dead now, but I studied with him for 30 years. 725 00:31:35,065 --> 00:31:38,005 And the experiences of that were indescribable. 726 00:31:38,785 --> 00:31:41,645 And so I do everything to the best of my ability 727 00:31:42,585 --> 00:31:43,835 from a spiritual point of view. 728 00:31:43,835 --> 00:31:47,115 Now, I, I work full-time in, in a medical office 729 00:31:47,135 --> 00:31:49,275 as a medical quality assurance officer, 730 00:31:49,605 --> 00:31:51,675 where I make sure the charts are up to date 731 00:31:51,695 --> 00:31:53,355 and the billing is correct, 732 00:31:53,455 --> 00:31:55,115 and the medical information, 733 00:31:55,115 --> 00:31:56,755 support the billing is done and all that. 734 00:31:56,755 --> 00:31:59,235 So I'm intimately involved in practice of medicine, 735 00:31:59,435 --> 00:32:02,235 although I'm not practicing as a physician legally, uh, 736 00:32:02,375 --> 00:32:03,475 or, or illegally. 737 00:32:03,535 --> 00:32:06,115 I'm not, you know, I'm just doing, and I also, um, 738 00:32:07,785 --> 00:32:09,045 do karate every single day. 739 00:32:09,045 --> 00:32:10,605 I've been practicing karate every day 740 00:32:10,785 --> 00:32:11,805 for a long time in my life, 741 00:32:11,865 --> 00:32:13,285 but absolutely every day 742 00:32:13,285 --> 00:32:14,885 for the last 14 years of my sobriety. 743 00:32:15,545 --> 00:32:17,685 And that keeps me, that's a tremendous stress relieve. 744 00:32:17,685 --> 00:32:20,525 And I practice in a band, and it's, that's a fulfillment. 745 00:32:20,825 --> 00:32:22,445 My life now is flourishing 746 00:32:22,445 --> 00:32:25,245 and fulfilling in ways that I could, I can't describe you 747 00:32:25,385 --> 00:32:27,485 and spirituality pin it all together. 748 00:32:28,065 --> 00:32:30,285 - Can you tell me one of the other 13 or, 749 00:32:30,595 --> 00:32:31,595 - Yeah. 750 00:32:31,595 --> 00:32:32,445 Okay. So I come to Los Angeles 751 00:32:33,345 --> 00:32:35,085 and I've had this dream at Stanford. 752 00:32:35,265 --> 00:32:37,845 I'm like, okay, here's la. It's very wild. 753 00:32:38,345 --> 00:32:41,685 And they have all these, uh, fringe spiritual groups. 754 00:32:42,465 --> 00:32:46,615 So I get a book, I, I met a guy, 755 00:32:46,675 --> 00:32:47,695 uh, who was a friend of mine. 756 00:32:47,735 --> 00:32:49,695 I said, let's, I'm going on a spiritual search. 757 00:32:49,695 --> 00:32:51,695 You wanna go? He go, okay, I'm gonna, I said, 758 00:32:51,695 --> 00:32:53,055 I'm from Stanford, I know how to do research. 759 00:32:53,075 --> 00:32:54,575 So I got a fucking notebook. 760 00:32:54,975 --> 00:32:56,535 I bought the whole lifetimes, 761 00:32:56,995 --> 00:33:00,655 and I went to every single spiritual organization, A 762 00:33:00,655 --> 00:33:01,655 through Z in Los Angeles. 763 00:33:01,765 --> 00:33:05,215 Over a two year period, 90%, you know, normal. 764 00:33:05,735 --> 00:33:07,975 A lot of bullshit, a lot of take your money, a lot 765 00:33:07,975 --> 00:33:09,855 of this kind of stuff, a lot of fluff. 766 00:33:10,195 --> 00:33:11,375 Or a third of the way through the study, 767 00:33:11,775 --> 00:33:16,055 I go into a meeting on Fairfax, on, sorry, on Melrose, 768 00:33:16,115 --> 00:33:17,495 in Fairfax, in, 769 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:19,855 there's like 24 middle class white people sitting 770 00:33:19,855 --> 00:33:20,935 around, all middle aged. 771 00:33:20,935 --> 00:33:25,465 And so there's three women. One is all dressed black robes. 772 00:33:25,565 --> 00:33:27,305 One of 'em is, uh, older. 773 00:33:27,725 --> 00:33:30,385 One of 'em is fat woman, and one of 'em is young woman. 774 00:33:30,385 --> 00:33:32,385 They all, and they stand up at a podium, point 775 00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:35,105 to somebody in the room, and they go sell your car. 776 00:33:35,245 --> 00:33:36,665 Oh, go ahead and get the new job. 777 00:33:36,685 --> 00:33:38,945 Oh, call your sister in Albuquerque, pass a hat, 778 00:33:38,965 --> 00:33:40,305 put money in the hat and move on. 779 00:33:40,725 --> 00:33:41,945 So me and my friend, well check, 780 00:33:41,945 --> 00:33:43,345 this is another bullshit, right? 781 00:33:43,685 --> 00:33:45,585 So the meeting ends, we get up to leave 782 00:33:45,585 --> 00:33:47,545 and the young woman gets up and she says, wait a minute. 783 00:33:47,545 --> 00:33:48,665 Wait a minute. Everybody sit down. 784 00:33:48,785 --> 00:33:50,585 I need to talk to, I got in the back and points at me. 785 00:33:51,005 --> 00:33:53,265 And I never seen this person in my god damn life. 786 00:33:53,605 --> 00:33:54,905 She said, you are here 787 00:33:55,175 --> 00:33:58,745 because you are trying to decide between science and music. 788 00:33:59,445 --> 00:34:02,345 She said, I see all this physical abuse in your life. 789 00:34:02,605 --> 00:34:04,945 You're estranged from your father's side of the family. 790 00:34:05,185 --> 00:34:08,025 I see him beating you. I see him, uh, loving you, 791 00:34:08,045 --> 00:34:09,625 but not expressing it in the right way, 792 00:34:09,625 --> 00:34:10,825 causing you great pain. 793 00:34:11,365 --> 00:34:13,665 She goes, you really wanna know whether 794 00:34:13,725 --> 00:34:14,945 to do science or music? 795 00:34:15,405 --> 00:34:16,425 She says, I'm looking. 796 00:34:16,485 --> 00:34:19,265 Um, she says, I see all this hard work. I see all this. 797 00:34:19,365 --> 00:34:22,385 She said, I see more music than I've ever seen than any 798 00:34:22,385 --> 00:34:24,585 person I've ever given a reading for before. 799 00:34:25,085 --> 00:34:26,945 You need to call your brother right now. 800 00:34:26,945 --> 00:34:29,025 There's something wrong. Uh, someone 801 00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:31,905 with the initial P is gonna come along and, 802 00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:33,945 and help you on your search. 803 00:34:34,525 --> 00:34:37,505 And I just see all this work. I just see all this music. 804 00:34:38,005 --> 00:34:39,345 You just might get it. 805 00:34:39,465 --> 00:34:41,225 I just, it's so far away, I can't tell. 806 00:34:41,285 --> 00:34:43,865 And I hope that helps you. I went home, called my mom. 807 00:34:43,865 --> 00:34:45,745 My brother had a nervous breakdown that morning at Prince, 808 00:34:46,725 --> 00:34:48,185 so that, that happened. 809 00:34:48,565 --> 00:34:51,625 So we checked, okay, cool, let's keep going. 810 00:34:51,725 --> 00:34:53,985 So we went on to the, and there some more stuff after. 811 00:34:54,485 --> 00:34:58,225 - Wow. That's intense. Did he recover all right? Yeah. 812 00:34:58,225 --> 00:34:59,865 Yeah, he did. Are you close with your brother? 813 00:35:00,485 --> 00:35:02,185 - He is dead now, but, and we were not close. 814 00:35:02,245 --> 00:35:03,385 We were like, we're the opposite. 815 00:35:03,385 --> 00:35:04,905 Like Carlton and Presh friends. 816 00:35:04,965 --> 00:35:08,505 We tried to, I tried to make amends with him as much 817 00:35:08,505 --> 00:35:12,785 as I could, but to me, to, to him, I'm insane doing music, 818 00:35:12,795 --> 00:35:13,865 doing drugs, you know, 819 00:35:13,865 --> 00:35:16,305 he's never had a tra never had a traffic ticket in his life. 820 00:35:17,105 --> 00:35:18,505 Complete opposite. He loved me. 821 00:35:18,685 --> 00:35:20,065 - How did he pass? - Uh, he, 822 00:35:20,065 --> 00:35:22,505 dude was found dead in an extended stay hotel room 823 00:35:22,505 --> 00:35:24,985 with blood, with blood on the bed, so, 824 00:35:24,985 --> 00:35:26,065 and blood in the toilet. 825 00:35:26,165 --> 00:35:27,825 So I think he probably had GI cancer. 826 00:35:27,885 --> 00:35:30,185 Didn't tell anybody it, and bled out. That's my best guess. 827 00:35:30,725 --> 00:35:32,425 - Oh, that's awful. What's his name? 828 00:35:32,605 --> 00:35:34,345 - Ronald Mcbe. Ronald. 829 00:35:34,735 --> 00:35:37,605 - Well, I'm so sorry about that. About that. 830 00:35:37,605 --> 00:35:40,005 It, it's hard, you know, when people pass away 831 00:35:40,065 --> 00:35:43,085 and we don't get the chance to have that 832 00:35:43,815 --> 00:35:45,405 connection and say, Mm-Hmm, . 833 00:35:45,405 --> 00:35:47,165 Mm-Hmm. , I see you for everything you are, 834 00:35:47,165 --> 00:35:48,885 and you see me for everything I am. 835 00:35:48,985 --> 00:35:50,605 And we're all just doing the best we can. 836 00:35:51,505 --> 00:35:56,375 - We had that on an unspoken level, semi but unspoken level. 837 00:35:56,875 --> 00:35:59,175 - Mm mm-Hmm. . Is your mom still with us? 838 00:35:59,755 --> 00:36:00,815 - No, no. My, okay. 839 00:36:00,835 --> 00:36:02,895 So my mom started a com 840 00:36:02,895 --> 00:36:05,175 after MIT she started a company called Quality 841 00:36:05,245 --> 00:36:06,495 Education for Minorities. 842 00:36:06,495 --> 00:36:10,255 And they got money from Rockwell, nasa, the government, to 843 00:36:11,075 --> 00:36:15,655 iso to identify minority geniuses in poverty situations 844 00:36:16,235 --> 00:36:18,775 and with, with, uh, talent for math and science. 845 00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:21,015 Pull 'em out of there, stick 'em in a dormitory, pay 846 00:36:21,015 --> 00:36:22,975 for their education and turn 'em into PhDs. 847 00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:26,215 So she did. That was the, uh, crowning work of her life. 848 00:36:26,315 --> 00:36:28,415 It was very successful, tremendously successful. 849 00:36:29,035 --> 00:36:31,015 And, uh, then she developed dementia. 850 00:36:31,515 --> 00:36:34,335 So she got, uh, she, she wasn't gonna let go of the program 851 00:36:34,335 --> 00:36:35,615 until she found somebody to take over. 852 00:36:35,675 --> 00:36:38,495 So she found a qualified black guy from the outgoing Obama 853 00:36:38,495 --> 00:36:41,255 administration, installed him as her successor, 854 00:36:41,555 --> 00:36:44,455 and then came to, uh, Las Vegas 855 00:36:44,595 --> 00:36:46,415 and then Los Angeles to, to, 856 00:36:46,415 --> 00:36:47,575 to be, for me to take care of her. 857 00:36:47,795 --> 00:36:49,615 My brother called me and said, you're sober now. 858 00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:51,335 Uh, I trust you. 859 00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:53,375 Do you wanna move back to the condominium you used 860 00:36:53,375 --> 00:36:54,815 to be in and live with mama? 861 00:36:54,815 --> 00:36:56,335 Take care of her. So I said, sure. 862 00:36:56,875 --> 00:36:59,055 So I, I went back to the condominium. 863 00:36:59,055 --> 00:37:00,575 We had, I took care of my mom 864 00:37:00,575 --> 00:37:01,735 for the last three years of her life. 865 00:37:01,815 --> 00:37:03,455 I took her to karate, I took her to rehearsals. 866 00:37:03,495 --> 00:37:04,495 I let her, I took her to work. 867 00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:08,455 She saw me, she got to see me completely recovered. Oh, 868 00:37:08,455 --> 00:37:09,455 - That's nice. 869 00:37:09,455 --> 00:37:11,295 - Yeah. Yeah. She died in my arms. 870 00:37:11,325 --> 00:37:14,095 Basically came back to earth just in time. . 871 00:37:15,125 --> 00:37:16,935 - Yeah, I get that for sure. 872 00:37:17,615 --> 00:37:19,615 , what do you believe in God? 873 00:37:19,805 --> 00:37:22,695 - Here we go. There's my scientific, 874 00:37:23,805 --> 00:37:24,855 there's not even belief. 875 00:37:24,915 --> 00:37:26,455 My scientific data indicates 876 00:37:26,455 --> 00:37:28,335 that there is a beautiful loving God. 877 00:37:28,845 --> 00:37:30,775 It's the same one behind all religions. 878 00:37:31,305 --> 00:37:34,335 We're just stupid people speaking French and English 879 00:37:34,355 --> 00:37:36,215 and turns to the east and turns to the right. 880 00:37:36,365 --> 00:37:40,815 Same exact God reincarnation and absolute fact spirituality 881 00:37:40,995 --> 00:37:43,015 and absolute underpinning of everything. 882 00:37:43,635 --> 00:37:46,415 And there are actually huge, 883 00:37:46,415 --> 00:37:48,895 tremendously gifted spiritual masters walking 884 00:37:48,895 --> 00:37:50,335 around like all the time. 885 00:37:50,705 --> 00:37:54,215 Super rare. One out of a million to 2 million. 886 00:37:54,795 --> 00:37:59,335 But definitely ally gifted people with a mastership 887 00:38:00,145 --> 00:38:02,495 exist, very rare, but they exist. 888 00:38:02,595 --> 00:38:06,335 And, and for me, study of guys like science 889 00:38:06,355 --> 00:38:07,975 or anything else, you gotta be open to it. 890 00:38:07,975 --> 00:38:10,575 Gotta pursue it, gotta read about it, gotta look for it. 891 00:38:10,635 --> 00:38:12,775 And for me, you know, it's different for different people. 892 00:38:12,795 --> 00:38:15,055 For me, it came to me through active search. 893 00:38:16,285 --> 00:38:20,075 - Yeah. I see miracles everywhere. . Mm-Hmm. 894 00:38:20,115 --> 00:38:21,275 - . Mm-Hmm. - . Yeah. 895 00:38:22,495 --> 00:38:24,315 That's really lovely. So what's next for you? 896 00:38:24,365 --> 00:38:26,115 Where, where are you heading next? 897 00:38:27,465 --> 00:38:30,395 - Okay. At this point, I've got a fair degree 898 00:38:30,395 --> 00:38:31,915 of notoriety with Circle the Earth. 899 00:38:31,985 --> 00:38:36,245 It's really, uh, beyond my wildest dreams coming together. 900 00:38:36,865 --> 00:38:38,325 And I had to change lead singer. 901 00:38:38,395 --> 00:38:40,645 I've been with her for eight years. It was a beautiful ride. 902 00:38:40,665 --> 00:38:43,405 It was really tough, but I have to change it's time for us 903 00:38:43,405 --> 00:38:45,405 to, to her to move on and me to move on. 904 00:38:45,905 --> 00:38:49,525 And we just came to that agreement last night. 905 00:38:50,685 --> 00:38:52,265 So now I am in this. 906 00:38:52,365 --> 00:38:55,305 And the beautiful thing is that when I, when I ask God 907 00:38:55,685 --> 00:38:58,265 to fill these void, it's done in a very beautiful way. 908 00:38:58,285 --> 00:38:59,865 So I'm nervous and scared, 909 00:38:59,885 --> 00:39:02,105 but I'm also excited for what's gonna happen next. 910 00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:06,985 So I'm looking for a, a state of the art, uh, lead vocalist 911 00:39:07,205 --> 00:39:09,985 who have a single, uh, new video coming out on 912 00:39:10,745 --> 00:39:12,625 a couple weeks, just released a single, 913 00:39:12,995 --> 00:39:15,665 we've recorded six singles, so three more coming out, 914 00:39:15,685 --> 00:39:16,785 got an EP coming out 915 00:39:17,165 --> 00:39:20,105 and working with top of, top of the 916 00:39:21,055 --> 00:39:23,025 line videographer, Henry Lipitol, 917 00:39:23,465 --> 00:39:25,025 producer Eric Ron, songwriter. 918 00:39:25,025 --> 00:39:27,305 Lauren Christie did, uh, complicated 919 00:39:27,305 --> 00:39:28,705 for Abel Levine, the whole . 920 00:39:28,725 --> 00:39:30,745 I'm working with top five people. It won't be a problem. 921 00:39:31,145 --> 00:39:33,545 I just gotta find somebody, uh, incredible 922 00:39:34,165 --> 00:39:35,545 and move and take the next step. 923 00:39:36,725 --> 00:39:40,535 Very energetic, very intelligent, very melodic pop rock 924 00:39:40,565 --> 00:39:42,775 with an underlying message of positivity, 925 00:39:42,795 --> 00:39:44,935 but without mentioning anything spiritual at all. 926 00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:49,825 So it's, uh, it's kind 927 00:39:49,945 --> 00:39:53,995 of like Paramore heart, Starship too close to touch, 928 00:39:54,135 --> 00:39:56,715 you know, I'm dated, so my references are older. Those 929 00:39:56,715 --> 00:39:58,155 - Are good references for sure. 930 00:39:58,265 --> 00:40:00,995 - Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's really good music. 931 00:40:01,415 --> 00:40:04,395 - That's great. Well, I'm excited for you. That's wonderful. 932 00:40:04,975 --> 00:40:07,035 Do you have, um, any kind of message 933 00:40:07,255 --> 00:40:10,035 for the listening audience that you want to impart? 934 00:40:11,025 --> 00:40:12,235 - Sure, absolutely. 935 00:40:12,855 --> 00:40:14,875 If you are struggling with addiction, there is a way out. 936 00:40:14,875 --> 00:40:15,955 There is absolutely a way out. 937 00:40:15,955 --> 00:40:17,835 And life after it is beautiful. 938 00:40:17,895 --> 00:40:20,235 And if, if I can recover, anybody can recover. 939 00:40:20,435 --> 00:40:22,275 'cause I was really bad at really, really bad. 940 00:40:22,755 --> 00:40:25,635 I wanna say that it's the same God, the same, loving, 941 00:40:26,615 --> 00:40:28,395 all knowing, merciful God 942 00:40:28,395 --> 00:40:31,195 behind all religions, all of them same. 943 00:40:31,855 --> 00:40:34,795 And that, uh, the human souls were united. 944 00:40:36,315 --> 00:40:37,655 We just seem to be separated. 945 00:40:37,715 --> 00:40:39,775 The analogy my spiritual teacher taught me was 946 00:40:39,775 --> 00:40:42,125 that we're like islands in an ocean. 947 00:40:42,225 --> 00:40:44,245 You drain the water. It's all the same landmass. 948 00:40:44,245 --> 00:40:45,685 It just looks like we're separate. 949 00:40:46,465 --> 00:40:49,285 And, uh, that's basically the message I wanna get back. 950 00:40:49,285 --> 00:40:52,205 Just, it's all about love and positivity 951 00:40:52,225 --> 00:40:53,685 and karma and good intentions. 952 00:40:53,685 --> 00:40:55,085 All the, you know, the basic common 953 00:40:55,095 --> 00:40:56,245 sense stuff that, you know. 954 00:40:56,745 --> 00:40:58,365 - Do you think that we, uh, 955 00:40:58,865 --> 00:41:01,045 as a whole are gonna find our way again? 956 00:41:02,125 --> 00:41:04,445 - Ultimately, yes. But it is, you know, it's 957 00:41:04,715 --> 00:41:06,965 with tremendous difficulty along the way. 958 00:41:07,755 --> 00:41:08,965 - Yeah. Yeah. 959 00:41:09,095 --> 00:41:11,245 Thank you so much for taking time to talk with me. 960 00:41:12,035 --> 00:41:13,205 - Dude, this has been beautiful. 961 00:41:13,285 --> 00:41:15,205 I really appreciate your time. Thank you, ma'am. Very much. 962 00:41:15,525 --> 00:41:18,245 - I hope I get to meet you in, in person over at Chris's, 963 00:41:18,245 --> 00:41:19,285 maybe, or Oh 964 00:41:19,285 --> 00:41:20,285 - Yeah. 965 00:41:20,285 --> 00:41:20,765 You're in Santa Monica. Yeah, sure. 966 00:41:21,305 --> 00:41:23,445 I'm gonna train in Santa Monica at six o'clock. 967 00:41:24,105 --> 00:41:25,125 - Uh, you train here? 968 00:41:26,085 --> 00:41:27,735 - Yeah. Uh, I go to two karate schools. 969 00:41:27,835 --> 00:41:30,415 One is called Avi Rocha on Pico and, uh, Roberton. 970 00:41:30,415 --> 00:41:32,415 I do that Monday through Thursday for sparring. 971 00:41:32,795 --> 00:41:34,405 And then I do, uh, technical 972 00:41:34,405 --> 00:41:37,685 and cardio at, uh, if at JKA, 973 00:41:37,685 --> 00:41:39,445 Santa Monica on Wilson fifth Street. 974 00:41:39,825 --> 00:41:41,725 - Oh, lemme know. We'll grab coffee or something. 975 00:41:42,545 --> 00:41:44,085 - Oh, I'd love to. Sure. - Okay. Cool. 976 00:41:44,175 --> 00:41:46,685 Thank you for listening everybody. Bye. 977 00:41:47,535 --> 00:41:47,965 - Thank you. 978 00:41:52,915 --> 00:41:56,365 - Rate review and subscribe to Hey, human Podcast on iTunes, 979 00:41:56,365 --> 00:41:58,845 Spotify, iHeart, wherever you get your podcasts. 980 00:41:59,065 --> 00:42:00,245 Thanks. Bye.