1 00:00:08,265 --> 00:00:08,765 - Hey humans. 2 00:00:09,055 --> 00:00:10,965 How's it going? Susan, Ruth here. 3 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,085 Thanks for listening to another episode 4 00:00:13,505 --> 00:00:14,645 of Hey Human Podcast. 5 00:00:15,585 --> 00:00:17,965 Before I get into introducing my guests, 6 00:00:18,125 --> 00:00:21,165 I wanna take a moment to tell you I've created a Patreon. 7 00:00:21,805 --> 00:00:22,885 I hope you check it out 8 00:00:22,885 --> 00:00:25,165 and that you'll be a part of the hey human community. 9 00:00:25,265 --> 00:00:28,885 I'm fostering there. I started, hey, human as a way 10 00:00:28,885 --> 00:00:30,965 to shine a light on the day-to-Day. 11 00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:33,325 People who are what I consider the 12 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:34,365 real heroes in this world. 13 00:00:34,365 --> 00:00:36,005 The ones finding hope 14 00:00:36,185 --> 00:00:37,885 and a way to keep going in spite 15 00:00:37,925 --> 00:00:39,605 of whatever life is thrown at them, 16 00:00:39,745 --> 00:00:43,445 and to remind us all that we're connected no matter what. 17 00:00:43,445 --> 00:00:47,125 Because I'm desperate for humanity to thrive, 18 00:00:47,305 --> 00:00:49,805 and I get that this planet feels lonely. 19 00:00:50,745 --> 00:00:54,525 I'm one of the lonely, and I'm trying to remind us all 20 00:00:54,525 --> 00:00:59,245 that we're more than what we present on the outside. 21 00:00:59,345 --> 00:01:00,725 You know, the masks we wear, 22 00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:03,565 that we are more same than we are different. 23 00:01:03,825 --> 00:01:06,685 And that wherever there's darkness, there's a whole lot 24 00:01:06,685 --> 00:01:09,205 of light, working hard to chase that darkness out. 25 00:01:09,205 --> 00:01:12,965 There's a lot of really interesting, fascinating, lovely 26 00:01:14,185 --> 00:01:17,125 people out there who are going through some 27 00:01:17,125 --> 00:01:19,285 of the same stuff we're going through, you know, so 28 00:01:20,025 --> 00:01:24,285 you can find it at patreon.com/susan Ruth, 29 00:01:24,535 --> 00:01:28,805 which is S-U-S-A-N-R-U-T-H-I-S-M. 30 00:01:30,065 --> 00:01:32,685 I'd like the Patreon page to be one of connection. 31 00:01:33,075 --> 00:01:36,205 I'll host monthly check-ins and you can ask me questions 32 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,805 or share your own human story. 33 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,845 And I'll share mine too, wherever I am on my journey. 34 00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:44,765 And thank you for being a part of this all for 35 00:01:45,385 --> 00:01:46,405 nearly eight years. 36 00:01:47,025 --> 00:01:50,605 Uh, I'd like to see it continue and doing the Patreon. 37 00:01:50,605 --> 00:01:52,565 We'll definitely help make that a reality. 38 00:01:53,395 --> 00:01:56,285 Alright, right now on with the show. 39 00:01:57,715 --> 00:02:01,325 This is episode 4 0 3, and my guest is Mish Sayed. 40 00:02:02,085 --> 00:02:04,085 Mish is an award-winning fashion 41 00:02:04,305 --> 00:02:06,565 and interior designer specializing in creating 42 00:02:06,565 --> 00:02:07,725 environments that heal. 43 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,965 She's an author of the bestselling book, purgatory 44 00:02:11,185 --> 00:02:13,445 to Paradise, chronicling Her Breast 45 00:02:13,445 --> 00:02:14,845 Cancer Journey to Healing. 46 00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:19,725 She's a strong, engaging woman. She's got magic in her eyes. 47 00:02:20,175 --> 00:02:22,445 She's such a fascinating lady. 48 00:02:23,045 --> 00:02:24,605 I really enjoyed talking with her. 49 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:28,525 She and I definitely had so much in common 50 00:02:28,905 --> 00:02:31,405 and I'm excited for you to hear this episode. 51 00:02:32,255 --> 00:02:35,205 Check out hey human podcast.com for links. 52 00:02:35,205 --> 00:02:37,005 And to learn more about my guests in the show, 53 00:02:37,535 --> 00:02:39,085 check out Susan ruth.com. 54 00:02:39,085 --> 00:02:41,485 To learn more about me and my other artistic endeavors, 55 00:02:41,825 --> 00:02:45,565 follow Susan Ruth and hey, human podcast on social media. 56 00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:49,565 Find my albums on Spotify, apple music, Amazon music, 57 00:02:49,665 --> 00:02:51,165 or wherever you get your music. 58 00:02:51,865 --> 00:02:53,325 And rate review and subscribe 59 00:02:53,385 --> 00:02:55,765 to Hate Human podcast on iTunes 60 00:02:55,765 --> 00:02:57,245 or wherever you get your podcasts. 61 00:02:57,615 --> 00:03:01,605 Thank you for listening. Be well, be kind, be love. 62 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:06,005 Here we go, ma said, 63 00:03:06,075 --> 00:03:07,565 welcome to Hey human. 64 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:11,805 - Thank you so much for having me, Susan. Delighted, lovely 65 00:03:11,865 --> 00:03:12,865 - To see you. 66 00:03:12,865 --> 00:03:13,525 What is this necklace you're wearing? 67 00:03:13,525 --> 00:03:15,125 It's beautiful. Thank you. 68 00:03:15,475 --> 00:03:16,845 - It's a design of mine. 69 00:03:16,995 --> 00:03:18,525 It's solid lapis 70 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,805 and it represents the divine feminine, which 71 00:03:23,325 --> 00:03:24,405 I have an interesting story 72 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,725 to tell about this necklace if you're, if you're 73 00:03:27,225 --> 00:03:28,365 so inclined to listen. 74 00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:33,365 - I am. - I was asked to go back to my neck 75 00:03:33,365 --> 00:03:34,565 of the woods in Pakistan. 76 00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:36,645 Um, it was a, a mission. 77 00:03:37,395 --> 00:03:40,165 Many organizations were involved, including the EU 78 00:03:40,165 --> 00:03:41,445 and the Han Foundation, 79 00:03:42,105 --> 00:03:45,725 and all the designers that they had enlisted to go 80 00:03:46,395 --> 00:03:47,405 were too afraid to go. 81 00:03:47,865 --> 00:03:49,805 So last minute I got called in 82 00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:51,885 and they're like, a friend of mine said, would you like 83 00:03:51,885 --> 00:03:53,005 to go over coffee? 84 00:03:53,385 --> 00:03:55,245 I'm like, yeah, yeah, I would. 85 00:03:55,825 --> 00:04:00,765 And so I went to meet with women from Gil area, 86 00:04:01,185 --> 00:04:02,805 the up northwestern region, 87 00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:06,965 and they drove 21 hours to meet with me. 88 00:04:07,745 --> 00:04:11,975 And I basically assessed all the machinery. 89 00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,575 Pakistan is the fifth larger exporter 90 00:04:14,575 --> 00:04:17,455 of semi-precious gemstones and other gemstones. 91 00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:21,015 And yet the people there weren't really availing themselves 92 00:04:21,035 --> 00:04:22,455 of their natural resources. 93 00:04:22,995 --> 00:04:25,375 And the designs that they had been given were far too 94 00:04:25,375 --> 00:04:26,855 complex for their machinery. 95 00:04:26,995 --> 00:04:30,015 So I walked in, of course, they didn't expect for me 96 00:04:30,015 --> 00:04:33,895 to be one of them, and I assessed the machinery. 97 00:04:34,055 --> 00:04:35,335 I assessed what they were able to make, 98 00:04:35,335 --> 00:04:36,935 and I started sketching on the spot. 99 00:04:38,025 --> 00:04:41,845 What's crazy is I picked this design, not only 100 00:04:41,985 --> 00:04:45,605 for the symbolism, but there's a secret about the symbol. 101 00:04:46,275 --> 00:04:48,965 This is, of course, everyone knows as the star 102 00:04:48,965 --> 00:04:50,045 and crescent of Islam, 103 00:04:50,265 --> 00:04:53,125 but Islam gets it from the Byzantine Empire, 104 00:04:53,465 --> 00:04:55,925 and it predates even that to Greek mythology, 105 00:04:56,775 --> 00:05:00,085 which comes full circle into what we're about to talk about, 106 00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:03,365 which is a part of my book about celebrating the 107 00:05:03,365 --> 00:05:04,645 goddess within all of us. 108 00:05:04,985 --> 00:05:09,205 So this idea of women empowering themselves in that part 109 00:05:09,325 --> 00:05:12,085 of the world, using a symbol of the divine feminine, 110 00:05:12,665 --> 00:05:15,885 was something that I really enjoyed creating together. 111 00:05:16,765 --> 00:05:19,165 - I love that. I'm excited to get into all that. 112 00:05:19,165 --> 00:05:23,205 Is you, I want to start, as I start all of these episodes. 113 00:05:23,715 --> 00:05:26,165 Tell me about you, how you grew up, 114 00:05:26,915 --> 00:05:28,685 what shaped you as a person? 115 00:05:29,885 --> 00:05:31,365 - I think one 116 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,405 of my fondest memories was sitting on the veranda floor 117 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:35,845 with my aunties. 118 00:05:36,345 --> 00:05:39,005 And I called them, you know, my fairies 119 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,525 because I had seven of them. 120 00:05:41,045 --> 00:05:43,485 I had four on my mom's side and three on my dad's side. 121 00:05:43,665 --> 00:05:46,965 And I grew up with four generations under one roof. 122 00:05:47,705 --> 00:05:52,445 So I learned how to be the divine feminine from them 123 00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:56,845 and this idea of softness and laughter 124 00:05:57,305 --> 00:05:59,765 and grace and reverence. 125 00:05:59,905 --> 00:06:03,085 And then of course, textiles, which is a huge part of me. 126 00:06:03,545 --> 00:06:05,005 Um, I grew up sewing 127 00:06:05,305 --> 00:06:09,725 and, you know, like, uh, sleeping beauty who was, uh, 128 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,085 basically pricked by the spindle. 129 00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:15,405 I was actually pricked by the needle, believe it 130 00:06:15,405 --> 00:06:17,445 or not, in my grandmother's rotary singer. 131 00:06:18,065 --> 00:06:21,125 But, um, the, the old cranky ones. 132 00:06:21,305 --> 00:06:23,285 Um, but, uh, I feel like 133 00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:27,085 I was initiated into a magical world. 134 00:06:27,545 --> 00:06:29,405 And I grew up with mythology. 135 00:06:29,605 --> 00:06:31,005 I grew up with folk tales 136 00:06:31,005 --> 00:06:34,805 and family folk tales that were passed down from generation 137 00:06:34,825 --> 00:06:38,205 to generation, which I also touch on in my book. 138 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:42,405 So for me, that level of finding 139 00:06:42,405 --> 00:06:46,375 that magic in the everyday came from watching them 140 00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:50,215 and sitting on their fragrant laps and smelling the jasmine 141 00:06:50,555 --> 00:06:52,415 and the roses in my grandmother's garden. 142 00:06:53,155 --> 00:06:57,015 And so I feel like everywhere I go, I try 143 00:06:57,015 --> 00:06:59,015 to recreate that memory 144 00:07:00,815 --> 00:07:03,025 - Growing up with, um, with 145 00:07:03,025 --> 00:07:05,625 that strong matriarchal influence 146 00:07:06,685 --> 00:07:10,585 and understanding the power of women within the confines 147 00:07:10,725 --> 00:07:14,545 of the aunties and the generational aunties 148 00:07:14,845 --> 00:07:17,665 and the worldwide aunties as well. 149 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:22,425 Yes. Uh, growing up with that understanding, was it, 150 00:07:23,795 --> 00:07:26,815 was it weird to see that once you stepped outside of 151 00:07:26,815 --> 00:07:30,935 that protective nest, that the world did not treat women 152 00:07:31,635 --> 00:07:34,575 and aunties and girls in the same reverence 153 00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:37,175 that it did within the, that confine? 154 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,175 - There is always that dichotomy, 155 00:07:40,915 --> 00:07:45,895 but I honestly think there's, there's a lot of, and my mom 156 00:07:45,895 --> 00:07:49,455 and I talk about this too, this, this, you know, way. 157 00:07:49,475 --> 00:07:53,735 She says, you know, I have it hard twice being a woman in 158 00:07:53,735 --> 00:07:56,175 the west having to perform and, 159 00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:58,655 and be in my, in my masculine, 160 00:07:59,155 --> 00:08:01,815 but also be in my feminine to have to do both. 161 00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:04,215 And I think that just makes us tired. 162 00:08:04,215 --> 00:08:05,655 Susan , yeah. Just 163 00:08:05,765 --> 00:08:07,135 - Came into that sister - . 164 00:08:08,365 --> 00:08:10,295 It's just tiring. It's just tiring. 165 00:08:11,315 --> 00:08:14,855 So, I mean, I, I really believe that 166 00:08:15,715 --> 00:08:20,055 we need both, and I talk about this also in terms of shadow 167 00:08:20,115 --> 00:08:22,135 and light, speaking of the divine. 168 00:08:22,555 --> 00:08:27,015 And in order to really own that divinity within us, we have 169 00:08:27,015 --> 00:08:28,535 to embrace our shadow side too. 170 00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:33,055 So you can't just parse it away and shove it away 171 00:08:33,075 --> 00:08:35,095 and be like, no, you go over there. 172 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:38,655 I think embracing all those parts 173 00:08:39,315 --> 00:08:41,535 is the way to our divinity. 174 00:08:42,495 --> 00:08:43,975 - I wholeheartedly agree. 175 00:08:45,115 --> 00:08:47,895 Did you have an understanding as a child, um, 176 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:52,215 being surrounded by the lush colors of your, of 177 00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:55,405 where you grew up and as you mentioned textiles 178 00:08:55,465 --> 00:09:00,325 and gemstones, did you think to yourself, this is 179 00:09:00,325 --> 00:09:02,565 what I want to do with my life? 180 00:09:02,745 --> 00:09:04,565 Or was that something that came a little later? 181 00:09:04,705 --> 00:09:06,125 And how long were you there for? 182 00:09:06,225 --> 00:09:07,565 Did you, did you come to the 183 00:09:07,565 --> 00:09:09,085 United States as a young person? 184 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:11,325 - I came here when I was seven, 185 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:14,525 but we spent summers back home 186 00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:18,885 and, um, have a very strong connection to my relatives. 187 00:09:19,395 --> 00:09:20,925 English is my second language. 188 00:09:21,165 --> 00:09:23,445 I grew up speaking Urdu in English 189 00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:25,045 and then later French and Arabic. 190 00:09:25,625 --> 00:09:29,585 But, um, I think, I feel that 191 00:09:30,575 --> 00:09:35,135 that level of expression I took 192 00:09:35,135 --> 00:09:37,615 for granted, I just thought everybody designed 193 00:09:37,615 --> 00:09:38,655 their clothes when they were little. 194 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,495 I thought every, because we did our, you know, 195 00:09:41,495 --> 00:09:42,575 we designed everything. 196 00:09:42,595 --> 00:09:44,815 We had tailors to make our clothing. 197 00:09:44,995 --> 00:09:49,135 So I started, I remember being in a Home X class when I was 198 00:09:49,135 --> 00:09:53,695 like 13 years old, and I gave my teacher heart palpitations. 199 00:09:54,055 --> 00:09:55,975 'cause I started cutting without a pattern 200 00:09:56,365 --> 00:09:59,255 because I was told, I, I was taught how 201 00:09:59,255 --> 00:10:02,055 to cut using like origami, like how to be able 202 00:10:02,055 --> 00:10:03,135 to measure everything. 203 00:10:03,355 --> 00:10:05,495 And I also used to drape directly on my body. 204 00:10:05,675 --> 00:10:07,735 And weirdly enough, Susan, I, 205 00:10:07,735 --> 00:10:10,695 when I had my dress up in New York, I did that. 206 00:10:10,895 --> 00:10:12,815 I draped directly on my clients. 207 00:10:13,795 --> 00:10:16,055 And you know, it was during that time 208 00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,855 where everyone was following, I forget that show where, 209 00:10:19,075 --> 00:10:20,495 you know, can you fit into the dress? 210 00:10:20,795 --> 00:10:22,775 And you had to lose all the weight to fit into the dress. 211 00:10:22,795 --> 00:10:24,495 And I always thought that was like, ask backwards 212 00:10:24,495 --> 00:10:26,215 because the dress should fit you. 213 00:10:27,275 --> 00:10:32,135 And, you know, creating what is the definition of beauty 214 00:10:33,195 --> 00:10:36,575 is accepting where you're at, right. 215 00:10:36,605 --> 00:10:41,055 Your curves. And there is not one standard of beauty. 216 00:10:41,635 --> 00:10:43,935 And growing up, one of the things I must say, 217 00:10:45,355 --> 00:10:47,455 to be too skinny was bad. 218 00:10:47,765 --> 00:10:49,735 That meant like you didn't have enough money, . 219 00:10:50,075 --> 00:10:54,495 So to be plump was the paragon of beauty 220 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:57,815 and also of wealth, a sign of wealth . 221 00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:01,175 So I think it's so interesting culturally how 222 00:11:01,175 --> 00:11:02,695 that affects someone. 223 00:11:03,115 --> 00:11:04,775 And, you know, coming here 224 00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:07,255 and seeing, you know, for the first time, 225 00:11:07,365 --> 00:11:10,175 different hair colors and different eye colors 226 00:11:10,355 --> 00:11:12,375 and all of that was, oh my gosh, 227 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,055 everybody from my storybooks came alive. 228 00:11:15,595 --> 00:11:17,495 So it was, it was really great. 229 00:11:17,925 --> 00:11:21,495 - There's a video that I've seen that is fascinating 230 00:11:21,495 --> 00:11:25,175 to watch, and it's, uh, feminine cultural, 231 00:11:25,575 --> 00:11:27,695 feminine beauty standards around the world. 232 00:11:28,475 --> 00:11:31,335 And it shows just all the, the, the types 233 00:11:31,475 --> 00:11:32,695 and the looks and all this. 234 00:11:32,715 --> 00:11:34,215 And it's so interesting to see, 235 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:39,095 and I think we as a species, 236 00:11:39,455 --> 00:11:42,575 I don't think this is just women, I just think as a species, 237 00:11:42,715 --> 00:11:46,615 humans are stuck a lot 238 00:11:46,615 --> 00:11:51,455 of times in a comparison loop that they can't get out of. 239 00:11:52,315 --> 00:11:54,755 And I've mentioned, I think I've mentioned this on the show 240 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,435 before, is I remember one time 241 00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:59,235 I was on the elliptical at the gym 242 00:11:59,895 --> 00:12:02,995 and I was looking at the woman's butt in front 243 00:12:02,995 --> 00:12:06,155 of me thinking, oh man, if I only had that butt, 244 00:12:06,195 --> 00:12:09,475 I could rule the world, man, what a butt that, that, that's 245 00:12:09,475 --> 00:12:11,635 what I'm aiming toward is that butt. 246 00:12:12,135 --> 00:12:14,795 And I, I looked from her butt to her face 247 00:12:15,575 --> 00:12:17,955 and I noticed that she was looking at the butt 248 00:12:17,955 --> 00:12:19,475 of the woman in front of her. 249 00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:22,635 And I thought, oh, interesting. 250 00:12:22,725 --> 00:12:24,795 She's probably having the same thoughts I'm having about 251 00:12:24,795 --> 00:12:26,435 her, she's having about the woman in front of her. 252 00:12:27,335 --> 00:12:31,075 And that's vicious and I'm sure everybody does it. 253 00:12:31,545 --> 00:12:35,355 It's this vicious cycle of com uh, comparison. 254 00:12:36,145 --> 00:12:37,675 - Yeah. - The death of us. 255 00:12:39,135 --> 00:12:42,225 - Yeah. Well, what's so fascinating about that level 256 00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:46,665 of comparison is, you know, I am, 257 00:12:48,355 --> 00:12:50,215 the work that I do is all about beauty. 258 00:12:50,835 --> 00:12:53,935 And whether I was a stylist or a designer 259 00:12:54,435 --> 00:12:56,775 or interior designer, I deal with beauty all the time. 260 00:12:56,915 --> 00:12:58,415 And now I teach about beauty. 261 00:12:59,115 --> 00:13:02,175 And what's interesting is that cancer introduced me 262 00:13:02,175 --> 00:13:03,175 to my beauty, Susan. 263 00:13:04,895 --> 00:13:06,935 I didn't feel truly beautiful until 264 00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:11,175 after I was initiated to the darkest parts of me. 265 00:13:13,045 --> 00:13:17,905 And so forget about trying to fit in, forget about that. 266 00:13:18,045 --> 00:13:19,625 It was about self-acceptance. 267 00:13:20,245 --> 00:13:21,585 And I have a story for you, 268 00:13:22,365 --> 00:13:27,145 and it has to do with the Japanese, um, tradition 269 00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:28,825 of Kintsugi. 270 00:13:29,565 --> 00:13:33,545 And the, the idea, the metaphor is that, you know, 271 00:13:33,695 --> 00:13:36,905 this hundreds of years of being able 272 00:13:36,925 --> 00:13:39,065 to take broken pottery 273 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,585 and put it back together instead of throwing it away, 274 00:13:42,605 --> 00:13:46,065 but putting value back into it by highlighting those cracks 275 00:13:46,615 --> 00:13:48,785 with gold or silver. 276 00:13:49,565 --> 00:13:51,105 But to guild those cracks. 277 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:55,225 And I find it's such a beautiful metaphor, 278 00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:58,545 because those, that gold is your self-acceptance, 279 00:13:59,445 --> 00:14:03,465 all your scars, your trials, your tribulations, 280 00:14:03,815 --> 00:14:08,025 your heartbreaks, your disappointments, your despair, all 281 00:14:08,025 --> 00:14:10,705 of those things are your gold. 282 00:14:11,965 --> 00:14:15,825 And I think as a society, we hide it away. We're ashamed. 283 00:14:15,825 --> 00:14:17,345 There's a stigma and there's 284 00:14:17,345 --> 00:14:18,745 definitely a stigma with cancer. 285 00:14:19,215 --> 00:14:23,855 There's definitely a stigma with, oh my gosh, it happens 286 00:14:23,855 --> 00:14:25,215 to other people. 287 00:14:25,395 --> 00:14:26,575 It doesn't happen to me. 288 00:14:27,235 --> 00:14:30,495 And so this idea of the Scarlet letter 289 00:14:31,355 --> 00:14:32,815 and then feeling like, oh, 290 00:14:33,275 --> 00:14:37,215 and I had friends who they were allergic to, it's almost 291 00:14:37,215 --> 00:14:39,175 as if they were gonna catch cooties or something. 292 00:14:39,175 --> 00:14:40,855 Like, they were like, I can't be around that. 293 00:14:40,925 --> 00:14:42,455 It's, people don't know how to deal with, 294 00:14:42,725 --> 00:14:45,255 some people can't handle, they don't know what to say. 295 00:14:45,255 --> 00:14:46,455 They don't know how to be. 296 00:14:47,115 --> 00:14:50,555 And that, to me is interesting. 297 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:54,635 'cause I, I grew up in a culture that embraced the jiggle 298 00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:58,275 that embraced all those parts of us 299 00:14:58,655 --> 00:15:00,975 and said, Hey, this is welcome. 300 00:15:02,015 --> 00:15:04,035 And also the elderly 301 00:15:04,805 --> 00:15:07,275 where they're no longer rendered invisible and, 302 00:15:07,295 --> 00:15:10,835 and put away in homes, but we're very much venerated 303 00:15:11,175 --> 00:15:12,275 and taken care of. 304 00:15:13,075 --> 00:15:17,715 I learned how to braid hair on my great grandmother's hair. 305 00:15:20,575 --> 00:15:23,835 So I, I remember the smell of her talcum powder. 306 00:15:24,395 --> 00:15:25,915 I remember the smell of her room. 307 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:30,875 Like she had this, you know, exalted position in the family. 308 00:15:30,975 --> 00:15:34,875 And everybody came around her and we learned from her. 309 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,515 And I learned from my grandmother, my great-grandmother, 310 00:15:38,695 --> 00:15:41,835 my aunties, which by the way were 311 00:15:42,745 --> 00:15:45,435 between 21 and 12 when I was born. 312 00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:47,555 So they were like big sisters too. 313 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,795 It was, it was a, 314 00:15:49,135 --> 00:15:51,195 it was a fun time. It was a really fun time. 315 00:15:51,745 --> 00:15:53,155 - It's my understanding that you were 316 00:15:53,155 --> 00:15:54,315 diagnosed with breast cancer. 317 00:15:55,455 --> 00:16:00,035 - Yes. - For someone who has spent a lifetime in 318 00:16:00,975 --> 00:16:03,395 beauty and understanding what beauty standards are 319 00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:07,915 and to have cancer attack the one 320 00:16:08,075 --> 00:16:10,155 of the most feminine parts of you, 321 00:16:11,015 --> 00:16:12,835 how did you wrap your head around that 322 00:16:13,135 --> 00:16:17,235 and how did your family, uh, who venerated the women 323 00:16:17,455 --> 00:16:20,315 and lifted the women up in their, in their chamber? 324 00:16:20,615 --> 00:16:22,515 As I I I, I liken it to the chamber 325 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:26,875 because I think what happens in many families is there's a, 326 00:16:27,615 --> 00:16:31,155 is a safety ball of the men, you know, do the men thing 327 00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:32,475 and the women do the women thing, 328 00:16:32,495 --> 00:16:34,035 and do you know what I mean? 329 00:16:34,425 --> 00:16:36,435 - Yeah, sure. - So when something like 330 00:16:36,435 --> 00:16:39,745 that happens, how do you talk about it? 331 00:16:39,885 --> 00:16:41,625 How, how does the family rally round? 332 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:45,105 How do you rally around yourself as a woman? 333 00:16:48,025 --> 00:16:51,365 - That's a great question. Interestingly enough, 334 00:16:52,485 --> 00:16:56,885 I did not share my diagnosis that fast. 335 00:16:57,385 --> 00:17:01,245 My aunt, my mom's younger sister had passed away from the 336 00:17:01,245 --> 00:17:03,645 same diagnosis the summer prior, before mine. 337 00:17:03,785 --> 00:17:08,685 And it devastated us, just def And I was too, 338 00:17:08,925 --> 00:17:10,565 I was really scared to tell my own mother 339 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,165 because I thought this would just total her. 340 00:17:14,425 --> 00:17:16,285 And she rose to the occasion. 341 00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:19,605 But we decided to keep this very private. 342 00:17:20,585 --> 00:17:24,045 And, you know, at the time I had my own firm, I thought, 343 00:17:24,105 --> 00:17:27,365 you know, I'm a single mom who's gonna hire a sick woman. 344 00:17:27,515 --> 00:17:30,085 Like I was very self-protective, 345 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:33,125 and I didn't tell many people at all. 346 00:17:33,305 --> 00:17:36,645 As a matter of fact, Susan, I deprive myself of the support. 347 00:17:36,645 --> 00:17:40,325 Looking back, I see that I deprived myself of that support 348 00:17:40,615 --> 00:17:43,725 where I see other people rallying around 349 00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:47,485 and, you know, doing, sending, making food 350 00:17:47,585 --> 00:17:49,300 and, you know, doing all those types of things. 351 00:17:49,305 --> 00:17:51,005 And I did everything on my own. 352 00:17:51,225 --> 00:17:54,925 My mom flew in each time for my chemo, you know, 353 00:17:54,985 --> 00:17:57,125 for my surgery looked, she would come in. 354 00:17:57,465 --> 00:18:02,285 But for the most part, I was alone. And that was hard. 355 00:18:02,425 --> 00:18:07,365 And I think because I went from one swing of the pendulum, 356 00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,845 I decided to write about my story 357 00:18:09,865 --> 00:18:11,005 and share it with the world. 358 00:18:11,265 --> 00:18:15,205 And, and basically it was my way of healing myself. 359 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:18,845 And when my family did find out, 360 00:18:19,025 --> 00:18:20,325 of course they rallied around. 361 00:18:20,325 --> 00:18:22,405 They couldn't believe it. And they just are 362 00:18:22,825 --> 00:18:24,405 so supportive and so loving. 363 00:18:25,065 --> 00:18:28,565 But it's scary. And frankly, it's a taboo body part. 364 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:32,805 It's a taboo body part. People don't wanna talk about it. 365 00:18:33,315 --> 00:18:36,805 It's something that on a cultural level, it's very hard 366 00:18:36,805 --> 00:18:39,605 because there's a lot of stigma attached to it. 367 00:18:40,145 --> 00:18:44,805 And yes, how do I, how did I find my beauty while going 368 00:18:44,805 --> 00:18:47,725 through breast cancer by rooting into 369 00:18:47,995 --> 00:18:49,245 what beauty meant for me? 370 00:18:50,725 --> 00:18:53,465 And it wasn't external because I didn't look so great. 371 00:18:54,665 --> 00:18:58,185 I mean, swollen face from the steroids, hair falling out, 372 00:18:58,465 --> 00:19:02,065 I mean, burns all this, all this transformation. 373 00:19:02,245 --> 00:19:05,265 But I, if you think about a butterfly, you know, 374 00:19:05,265 --> 00:19:07,465 you become this mushy caterpillar 375 00:19:07,805 --> 00:19:09,345 and you go into your chrysalis. 376 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,465 So I went into my chrysalis during cancer, 377 00:19:12,165 --> 00:19:14,505 and then I rooted into my beauty. 378 00:19:14,535 --> 00:19:19,385 Then I really figured out that my beauty existed 379 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:23,035 no matter what, whether I had hair 380 00:19:23,035 --> 00:19:26,955 or didn't have hair, whether I had a partner 381 00:19:27,695 --> 00:19:28,835 or I didn't have a partner. 382 00:19:30,315 --> 00:19:32,735 My womanhood was self-defined. 383 00:19:33,935 --> 00:19:35,995 And it was not external, it was internal. 384 00:19:37,055 --> 00:19:40,595 And one of the things that I did do was go back to 385 00:19:41,185 --> 00:19:42,555 something from my childhood. 386 00:19:44,165 --> 00:19:47,825 The Goddess Persephone is so interesting. 387 00:19:47,905 --> 00:19:49,665 I, I found her when I was nine years old, 388 00:19:49,885 --> 00:19:54,625 and I started sketching my latest fashion on a goddess, 389 00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,345 and I would put it in a frame on my desk 390 00:19:56,605 --> 00:19:59,385 and change the, the frame the picture out every week 391 00:19:59,385 --> 00:20:00,945 with the new goddess in a new design. 392 00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:04,865 And Persephone was somebody I just really loved. 393 00:20:05,915 --> 00:20:08,585 Don't ask me how, but I ended up doing dress designs 394 00:20:08,585 --> 00:20:11,385 that were inspired by persephone's descent 395 00:20:11,385 --> 00:20:12,425 into the underworld. 396 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,225 And I divided the collection 397 00:20:14,225 --> 00:20:16,905 between Meadow when she was like collecting crocuses 398 00:20:16,905 --> 00:20:19,025 and lilies and ens. 399 00:20:19,025 --> 00:20:21,905 And, and then when she goes down into Hades, 400 00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:27,025 and that's like rich jewel tones, like lapis and rubies 401 00:20:27,085 --> 00:20:29,265 and emeralds and deep, deep colors. 402 00:20:30,005 --> 00:20:34,065 And this idea of that light and dark, innocent 403 00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:37,745 and initiated right love 404 00:20:38,165 --> 00:20:41,585 and pain, right despair 405 00:20:42,485 --> 00:20:47,105 and joy, all of those kind of things are within us. 406 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:50,475 And I think when I was going through cancer, I realized 407 00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:52,395 I had become Persephone. 408 00:20:54,665 --> 00:20:55,985 - Hmm. That's beautiful. 409 00:20:57,535 --> 00:21:00,235 Did you have a sense when you were diagnosed, 410 00:21:00,615 --> 00:21:03,395 did you know on a, on a molecular level 411 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,035 that you were going to be okay? 412 00:21:08,045 --> 00:21:11,725 - I made a decision. My son was nine years old. 413 00:21:13,045 --> 00:21:16,965 I I just made a decision that it was gonna be okay, 414 00:21:17,515 --> 00:21:18,805 that I would be around for him. 415 00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:21,485 And I just accepted nothing less. 416 00:21:23,305 --> 00:21:26,405 And I wanna mention, you know, the typical drama triangle 417 00:21:26,405 --> 00:21:29,485 where, you know, woe is me, I'm the victim, 418 00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:32,245 the doctor's my hero, my savior, 419 00:21:32,745 --> 00:21:34,285 and my cancer is the villain. 420 00:21:34,715 --> 00:21:37,685 That level of drama triangle I divested myself from. 421 00:21:38,045 --> 00:21:40,885 I was the hero. I was co-creating my healing 422 00:21:40,995 --> 00:21:44,205 with my doctor team, which I love my team, I'm still friends 423 00:21:44,205 --> 00:21:45,405 with everyone, they're awesome. 424 00:21:46,465 --> 00:21:48,405 And I'm not against allopathic medicine. 425 00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:51,965 What I am is for creating a bridge between 426 00:21:53,385 --> 00:21:55,525 the ancient wisdom that I grew up with 427 00:21:56,225 --> 00:21:59,565 and the modern medicine that I also availed myself of. 428 00:22:00,065 --> 00:22:04,305 So bringing those two things together, I realized 429 00:22:04,855 --> 00:22:07,425 that I had the ability to change. 430 00:22:08,205 --> 00:22:09,345 And here's the key, 431 00:22:09,485 --> 00:22:12,345 and this is very important for anyone listening to this. 432 00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:16,645 Most cancers over two thirds 433 00:22:16,645 --> 00:22:20,275 of cancers are epigenetic, which means 434 00:22:20,905 --> 00:22:23,035 they are the result of your lifestyle 435 00:22:23,495 --> 00:22:24,955 of and your environment. 436 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:29,625 So when my test came back negative for a genetic marker, 437 00:22:29,785 --> 00:22:32,265 I went, wait a second, why is that? 438 00:22:33,065 --> 00:22:34,265 I just didn't take it. 439 00:22:34,885 --> 00:22:38,265 And just accept, okay, cancer happens, you know, 440 00:22:38,365 --> 00:22:39,465 bad things happen to good people. 441 00:22:39,685 --> 00:22:42,425 Oh, well, no, I started investigating. 442 00:22:42,785 --> 00:22:45,865 I thought, okay, what causes this? What can cause this? 443 00:22:47,425 --> 00:22:48,825 I was in a toxic relationship. 444 00:22:50,225 --> 00:22:52,825 I was, you know, I had Teflon pants. 445 00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:56,705 I started auditing my home, I started looking around. 446 00:22:56,805 --> 00:22:59,865 I'm a materials consultant for architectural firms. Anyway. 447 00:22:59,925 --> 00:23:03,185 So now I started looking at the materials in my home 448 00:23:03,455 --> 00:23:06,465 through the lens of cancer, through the lens of illness. 449 00:23:07,505 --> 00:23:09,865 I got my certification in quantum biology 450 00:23:10,485 --> 00:23:11,545 and circadian rhythm. 451 00:23:12,305 --> 00:23:13,785 I am now looking at 452 00:23:13,805 --> 00:23:18,265 and assessing spaces through the lens of your health on 453 00:23:19,115 --> 00:23:20,425 every single level. 454 00:23:21,325 --> 00:23:26,145 And bringing in design from a soul level. 455 00:23:26,885 --> 00:23:30,265 So bringing again, all those threads together 456 00:23:30,405 --> 00:23:32,145 to create a beautiful tapestry. 457 00:23:32,695 --> 00:23:34,745 When you do that, when you like mix 458 00:23:34,745 --> 00:23:35,945 colors, I know you're a painter. 459 00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:37,585 When you're mixing those colors, 460 00:23:38,525 --> 00:23:40,505 you arrive at this beautiful color 461 00:23:40,505 --> 00:23:42,265 that you didn't even realize existed. 462 00:23:42,965 --> 00:23:45,405 But until you do, you won't know. 463 00:23:46,585 --> 00:23:48,925 So I encourage everyone to really be curious 464 00:23:49,745 --> 00:23:54,265 and just explore, because the answers are there. 465 00:23:55,745 --> 00:23:59,465 - I do wanna talk about the home 466 00:23:59,465 --> 00:24:00,985 that we place ourselves in. 467 00:24:01,945 --> 00:24:04,625 I wanna first finish up on this other question. 468 00:24:04,855 --> 00:24:09,225 Your son, uh, nine years old son, correct? Yes. Yes. Son. 469 00:24:09,735 --> 00:24:13,905 Nine years old. Uh, how do you have as a mom, 470 00:24:14,805 --> 00:24:17,225 how do you have that conversation with, with a child? 471 00:24:17,305 --> 00:24:18,865 I think a lot of people would love to hear 472 00:24:19,685 --> 00:24:23,585 how you went about talking to him about your diagnosis. 473 00:24:24,395 --> 00:24:28,705 - Thank you. Yeah, I, that's actually a part of my book is 474 00:24:28,805 --> 00:24:30,505 how to be a parent during Cancer. 475 00:24:30,675 --> 00:24:33,185 Right? And I took him 476 00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:37,545 to the Peggy Rockefeller Rose Garden on Lilac Hill in the 477 00:24:37,545 --> 00:24:38,945 Bronx Botanical Gardens. 478 00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:39,985 It's our happy place. 479 00:24:40,035 --> 00:24:42,865 We've been going there since he was in a baby carrier. 480 00:24:43,725 --> 00:24:46,425 We always picnic over there and I set the blanket down. 481 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,745 But he knew immediately from my face that I was serious. 482 00:24:49,765 --> 00:24:51,705 And I was honest with him. 483 00:24:52,905 --> 00:24:55,065 I told him, I said the C word. 484 00:24:55,805 --> 00:24:59,025 And the reason why is 485 00:24:59,145 --> 00:25:02,865 because it's so much better for us to frame 486 00:25:03,615 --> 00:25:06,465 this thing that's happening for them than 487 00:25:06,485 --> 00:25:08,785 to hear it from somebody else, number one. 488 00:25:09,125 --> 00:25:13,665 Number two, it showed him that I was in control 489 00:25:13,665 --> 00:25:16,865 of my fate and that I was gonna handle it. 490 00:25:16,865 --> 00:25:20,025 And he was watching my face, he was watching my expression, 491 00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:23,465 and I told him, and I was wearing my grandmother's 492 00:25:23,465 --> 00:25:24,505 ring, I'm not wearing it now. 493 00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:26,625 I was wearing my grandmother's ring 494 00:25:26,805 --> 00:25:28,265 and had a little diamond in it. 495 00:25:28,405 --> 00:25:32,025 And I said, you know, mama's body's like a garden, 496 00:25:32,575 --> 00:25:34,385 like this garden that's beautiful. 497 00:25:34,525 --> 00:25:36,065 And it's a very fertile garden. 498 00:25:37,065 --> 00:25:39,945 And sometimes some weeds grow in that garden 499 00:25:40,805 --> 00:25:44,225 and there's a little weed and we have to just prune it out. 500 00:25:44,285 --> 00:25:46,025 You know, we prune things in our garden. 501 00:25:46,685 --> 00:25:49,305 And so he asked me, he said, how big is it? 502 00:25:50,365 --> 00:25:53,425 And so I pointed to the little, so he's very visual like me. 503 00:25:53,465 --> 00:25:57,105 I pointed to the diamond and I said, it's this tiny little, 504 00:25:57,295 --> 00:25:59,185 just tiny little piece like this. 505 00:26:00,165 --> 00:26:05,065 And he said, okay, okay. You're strong, mama. You're strong. 506 00:26:05,165 --> 00:26:08,145 And he just, he had so much wisdom, Susan, 507 00:26:08,325 --> 00:26:11,665 and throughout this, he was a part of the process. 508 00:26:12,295 --> 00:26:15,985 When I finished my radiation, it was a holiday, 509 00:26:16,085 --> 00:26:17,185 it was Veteran's Day. 510 00:26:17,485 --> 00:26:19,625 And I asked them, I'm like, oh my God, 511 00:26:19,945 --> 00:26:21,025 I don't have childcare. 512 00:26:21,285 --> 00:26:23,665 Um, what, what can I do? And they're like, bring him in. 513 00:26:23,685 --> 00:26:25,665 He can hang out with in the office space. 514 00:26:25,765 --> 00:26:28,225 And, you know, there was a, the head, um, 515 00:26:28,225 --> 00:26:29,785 radiologist, she was a mom. 516 00:26:30,205 --> 00:26:31,945 So she's like, bring him over. 517 00:26:32,365 --> 00:26:34,705 So we brought in cupcakes and, 518 00:26:34,765 --> 00:26:37,025 and goodies for everyone for the last day 519 00:26:37,025 --> 00:26:38,145 and a card and everything. 520 00:26:38,145 --> 00:26:39,225 So it was very celebratory. 521 00:26:39,365 --> 00:26:41,145 So, you know, everyone in the waiting room was like, 522 00:26:41,215 --> 00:26:42,425 wait, what's he doing here? 523 00:26:42,745 --> 00:26:44,325 'cause everyone is like, you know, 524 00:26:44,325 --> 00:26:45,885 and described us in my book, 525 00:26:46,345 --> 00:26:49,805 but, oh my God, Susan, we walked in 526 00:26:50,905 --> 00:26:53,085 and they embraced him 527 00:26:53,145 --> 00:26:54,765 and they took him into that room 528 00:26:55,095 --> 00:26:56,525 where I was getting treatment 529 00:26:57,505 --> 00:26:59,005 and showed him and gave him a tour. 530 00:26:59,585 --> 00:27:03,925 But then one of the technicians gave him the control 531 00:27:05,315 --> 00:27:07,975 and said, okay, here, press this button. 532 00:27:08,115 --> 00:27:09,135 You can see this move. 533 00:27:10,025 --> 00:27:13,285 And so he was able to see it move and adjust. 534 00:27:14,305 --> 00:27:16,605 And I saw his eyes light up, 535 00:27:16,985 --> 00:27:20,485 and I thought to myself, this is that seminal memory 536 00:27:20,585 --> 00:27:22,885 for him, the way those seminal memories were 537 00:27:22,885 --> 00:27:25,085 for me in my grandmother's garden. 538 00:27:25,175 --> 00:27:28,245 Right? And think about it, he may grow up 539 00:27:28,665 --> 00:27:29,925 to invent something 540 00:27:30,305 --> 00:27:33,805 or to help ameliorate someone going through cancer 541 00:27:34,025 --> 00:27:38,725 or any other illness because he sees that he has agency 542 00:27:39,275 --> 00:27:40,485 even at his age. 543 00:27:41,035 --> 00:27:44,445 He's a part of that story of renewal, 544 00:27:45,145 --> 00:27:48,725 of rebirth and revivification. 545 00:27:49,625 --> 00:27:53,375 So I think it's important to involve your children 546 00:27:54,115 --> 00:27:57,295 and obviously frame things in a way 547 00:27:57,295 --> 00:27:59,895 that they can palate, right. 548 00:28:00,555 --> 00:28:04,855 But I do believe that they have the ability to give us 549 00:28:04,955 --> 00:28:07,735 so much wisdom and so much grace, 550 00:28:08,515 --> 00:28:10,055 and allow us to heal 551 00:28:10,765 --> 00:28:13,575 even better than without their knowledge. 552 00:28:15,225 --> 00:28:16,505 - I agree with you completely. 553 00:28:16,905 --> 00:28:20,185 Children are incredibly empathic 554 00:28:21,005 --> 00:28:24,065 and perceptive and intelligent. 555 00:28:24,615 --> 00:28:28,865 They're thinkers and they know how to think beyond the box. 556 00:28:29,695 --> 00:28:30,985 They haven't lost that. 557 00:28:31,995 --> 00:28:35,005 - Yeah. Yet - That imagination yet, it's, it's lovely. 558 00:28:35,225 --> 00:28:37,125 I'm glad that you included him in your journey 559 00:28:37,185 --> 00:28:38,405 and you're cancer free now. 560 00:28:38,905 --> 00:28:42,695 - Yes. Thank you. - Lovely. Congratulations, 561 00:28:43,175 --> 00:28:44,095 - . Thanks so much. 562 00:28:44,595 --> 00:28:49,215 - You're welcome. Let's talk about the home. 563 00:28:50,005 --> 00:28:54,695 - Your home is your living ecosystem, just like your body. 564 00:28:55,475 --> 00:28:57,895 So there's a communication that's happening 565 00:28:57,895 --> 00:29:00,855 between your cells, which are divinely intelligent, 566 00:29:01,955 --> 00:29:04,975 and your home, which is quite alive. 567 00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:10,415 And from a practical point of view, the materials 568 00:29:10,645 --> 00:29:14,215 that we ingest, I'm not even talking about food. 569 00:29:15,005 --> 00:29:18,135 It's what we breathe the nanoparticles of dust 570 00:29:18,795 --> 00:29:20,615 in our air, right? 571 00:29:20,795 --> 00:29:24,255 Or the volatile organic compounds that are, um, 572 00:29:24,305 --> 00:29:26,775 being released from your synthetic carpets. 573 00:29:27,215 --> 00:29:28,615 I did a real recently where I'm like, 574 00:29:28,965 --> 00:29:31,855 your body is a solar panel . 575 00:29:32,475 --> 00:29:34,375 We are solar panels. 576 00:29:34,675 --> 00:29:36,895 We have photoreceptors all over our body 577 00:29:36,995 --> 00:29:38,935 and not just on in our eyes. 578 00:29:39,195 --> 00:29:44,165 And we are able to still be in touch 579 00:29:44,195 --> 00:29:46,465 with the light spectrum. 580 00:29:47,045 --> 00:29:49,585 And as modern as we try to be. 581 00:29:49,585 --> 00:29:52,985 And as you know, this modern lifestyle 582 00:29:52,985 --> 00:29:55,985 that is literally killing us, um, it tries to make things 583 00:29:56,005 --> 00:29:57,145 so much more convenient. 584 00:29:57,325 --> 00:30:00,545 We are inexorably tied to our biology 585 00:30:01,205 --> 00:30:02,585 for millennia. 586 00:30:03,085 --> 00:30:06,105 And for millennia, the sun was our clock, 587 00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:09,545 and we ourselves have a clock. 588 00:30:10,085 --> 00:30:14,265 And so this idea, if you start looking at cancers 589 00:30:14,885 --> 00:30:19,145 and all the precipitating fa factors of cancers, a lot 590 00:30:19,145 --> 00:30:21,985 of them are the result of circadian disruption. 591 00:30:22,605 --> 00:30:24,425 And what that means is getting the wrong 592 00:30:24,425 --> 00:30:25,505 light at the wrong time. 593 00:30:26,245 --> 00:30:30,185 So from a designer's perspective, how can I design windows 594 00:30:30,255 --> 00:30:31,665 that let more light in? 595 00:30:32,065 --> 00:30:33,985 'cause a lot of the windows have laminations 596 00:30:33,985 --> 00:30:37,745 that prevent vital UV proportion of the spectrum 597 00:30:38,445 --> 00:30:40,585 to go in to save energy. 598 00:30:41,045 --> 00:30:42,745 But a lot of things that are marketed 599 00:30:43,125 --> 00:30:46,105 to save your environment are actually killing your body. 600 00:30:47,025 --> 00:30:49,585 - Interesting. - Yeah. So looking at your home from 601 00:30:50,305 --> 00:30:53,025 a practical standpoint of what you can remove, 602 00:30:53,695 --> 00:30:54,865 what things are toxic, 603 00:30:55,685 --> 00:30:56,945 and then what you can add 604 00:30:57,125 --> 00:30:59,865 to enhance your health is something 605 00:31:00,765 --> 00:31:02,105 I'm utterly obsessed with. 606 00:31:03,065 --> 00:31:04,915 - What do you find is some 607 00:31:04,915 --> 00:31:07,155 of the biggest mistakes people make in their homes, 608 00:31:07,285 --> 00:31:09,715 aside from we all know Teflon not great. 609 00:31:09,975 --> 00:31:12,875 It causes brain damage, brain Alzheimer's, things like that. 610 00:31:13,115 --> 00:31:14,595 A a whole host of things. 611 00:31:14,695 --> 00:31:18,315 End endocrine disruptors, uh, candles, 612 00:31:18,975 --> 00:31:20,795 smelly candles, certainly. 613 00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:23,195 What other sorts of things do you see? 614 00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:27,075 - The hidden killer in most homes is your carpet. 615 00:31:28,835 --> 00:31:31,375 And here's what synthetic carpet 616 00:31:32,035 --> 00:31:36,415 or anything that's touted as washable, pet-friendly, 617 00:31:36,945 --> 00:31:41,175 stain resistant is code for bad, bad for your body. 618 00:31:41,915 --> 00:31:45,655 And most people don't realize that synthetic, 619 00:31:45,835 --> 00:31:49,535 I'm talking polypropylene, nylon, visco, all 620 00:31:49,535 --> 00:31:53,375 of those materials, they release VOCs. 621 00:31:53,915 --> 00:31:57,275 But not only that, the dust 622 00:31:57,305 --> 00:31:58,955 that you're breathing in your home, 623 00:31:59,625 --> 00:32:01,635 carpets are emitting nanoparticles 624 00:32:02,105 --> 00:32:03,835 that you are literally eating. 625 00:32:05,115 --> 00:32:07,375 And that is really toxic. 626 00:32:07,675 --> 00:32:10,735 So number one, carpets should be 627 00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:13,335 wool bios sustainable. 628 00:32:13,805 --> 00:32:17,215 It's been around and guys, it's so cleanable, 629 00:32:17,995 --> 00:32:19,775 it don't be afraid of wool. 630 00:32:20,185 --> 00:32:24,055 Don't be afraid of ju cotton linen 631 00:32:24,515 --> 00:32:25,695 or simple flat leaves. 632 00:32:26,055 --> 00:32:27,815 I mean, you don't have to go crazy 633 00:32:27,995 --> 00:32:29,535 and it doesn't have to be expensive. 634 00:32:30,405 --> 00:32:34,775 What you pay for with your health is far more costly than 635 00:32:35,085 --> 00:32:37,655 that initial outlay from your pocketbook. 636 00:32:38,035 --> 00:32:42,045 So that's one. And the other, as I mentioned, light. 637 00:32:42,345 --> 00:32:45,935 Now opening your windows is good 638 00:32:45,935 --> 00:32:47,375 for two basic reasons. 639 00:32:48,075 --> 00:32:50,575 One, sunlight is not polarized. 640 00:32:50,795 --> 00:32:53,455 So I use designer's tricks to be able 641 00:32:53,455 --> 00:32:55,415 to bounce the sunlight into a space. 642 00:32:56,315 --> 00:32:59,895 And since you can open your window, you're actually able 643 00:32:59,915 --> 00:33:01,615 to absorb that light spectrum 644 00:33:02,125 --> 00:33:06,935 that starts your circadian cascade, which keeps you all 645 00:33:06,935 --> 00:33:08,575 of your other systems functioning. 646 00:33:08,675 --> 00:33:12,335 Number one, number two, air circulation. 647 00:33:13,175 --> 00:33:16,655 I call, you know, the spaces, especially during winter 648 00:33:17,585 --> 00:33:20,615 sarcophaga, because , it's like you're, 649 00:33:20,615 --> 00:33:24,775 you're encapsulated in this recycle situation, 650 00:33:24,825 --> 00:33:26,255 which is so toxic. 651 00:33:26,795 --> 00:33:30,415 Indoor air is far more polluted than outdoor air. 652 00:33:30,955 --> 00:33:35,055 So to open your window, you're getting the added benefit 653 00:33:35,355 --> 00:33:38,615 of releasing those VOCs, getting that fresh air inside 654 00:33:38,915 --> 00:33:40,575 and that light on your skin. 655 00:33:40,725 --> 00:33:43,655 It's a win-win. Mm-Hmm. , what about plants? 656 00:33:44,915 --> 00:33:48,295 Oh, you found my favorite subject. How did you know? 657 00:33:48,755 --> 00:33:51,055 Um, is that a plant whore ? 658 00:33:52,395 --> 00:33:55,055 Oh my God, I gotta see, I, we have 659 00:33:55,055 --> 00:33:56,175 to have a whole other conversation. 660 00:33:56,435 --> 00:33:58,295 Yes, I have a list. 661 00:33:58,515 --> 00:34:00,055 You know, NASA has a list 662 00:34:00,075 --> 00:34:02,095 of the top 20 air filtering plants. 663 00:34:02,255 --> 00:34:04,015 I mean, they've been doing this for millions of years. 664 00:34:04,595 --> 00:34:06,295 Um, they're way better at it than we are. 665 00:34:06,875 --> 00:34:10,975 But I actually went through my own list of what goes in 666 00:34:10,975 --> 00:34:14,615 what room and why, and why you need some in your bedroom. 667 00:34:15,115 --> 00:34:16,455 And, uh, which ones are good, 668 00:34:16,455 --> 00:34:18,975 especially in different late locations, which are good in 669 00:34:18,975 --> 00:34:21,295 that airless office that has no 670 00:34:21,295 --> 00:34:22,495 windows and things like that. 671 00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:27,815 Biophilia is the science of nature 672 00:34:28,755 --> 00:34:30,175 and its effect on your biology. 673 00:34:31,195 --> 00:34:34,175 And I'm a designer who practices 674 00:34:34,765 --> 00:34:36,215 biophilic spaces 675 00:34:36,755 --> 00:34:41,495 and uses biophilia to enhance your health and your vitality. 676 00:34:41,915 --> 00:34:45,085 And I just wanna express beauty. 677 00:34:45,595 --> 00:34:48,315 Real beauty, how I define it 678 00:34:48,855 --> 00:34:51,035 is cellular alignment. 679 00:34:53,345 --> 00:34:55,615 It's your divine design. 680 00:34:56,085 --> 00:34:58,775 Your body actually wants to heal 681 00:34:58,995 --> 00:35:02,295 and wants to go into that homeostasis. 682 00:35:02,595 --> 00:35:04,215 We are the ones who f it up. 683 00:35:04,755 --> 00:35:07,015 So I have to kind of step back 684 00:35:07,015 --> 00:35:11,735 and say, nature is intrinsically linked 685 00:35:11,755 --> 00:35:14,575 to our biology and therefore our beauty, 686 00:35:15,825 --> 00:35:18,125 and it's beautiful on its own. 687 00:35:18,665 --> 00:35:20,005 You know, when you look at leaves, 688 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,845 you actually affect your brainwaves. 689 00:35:23,535 --> 00:35:26,865 There's a neurological effect on you 690 00:35:26,935 --> 00:35:28,225 when you look at leaves. 691 00:35:29,565 --> 00:35:33,325 And if you think about it, does nature have right angle? 692 00:35:33,415 --> 00:35:36,325 Susan, have you seen like nature's ha Like, 693 00:35:36,425 --> 00:35:39,165 are there like total perfect squares in nature? 694 00:35:40,085 --> 00:35:43,265 Not really. Maybe some crystals, maybe some, uh, well, 695 00:35:43,265 --> 00:35:44,585 I'll give some crystals that do that. 696 00:35:44,605 --> 00:35:48,945 But for the most part, it's all curves. It's all curves. 697 00:35:49,605 --> 00:35:52,465 And there is something that happens to your eyes 698 00:35:53,575 --> 00:35:56,745 when you're able to focus on the multiplicity 699 00:35:56,845 --> 00:36:00,305 of those leaves and those curves that affects you, 700 00:36:00,885 --> 00:36:03,905 and it brings you into your parasympathetic state. 701 00:36:04,925 --> 00:36:05,945 So why not? 702 00:36:06,285 --> 00:36:08,545 And I wanna add, during the pandemic, there were studies 703 00:36:08,545 --> 00:36:10,865 that were done, you know, this epidemic 704 00:36:10,925 --> 00:36:12,425 of loneliness, right? 705 00:36:12,485 --> 00:36:16,185 People are so isolated, taking care of plants 706 00:36:16,765 --> 00:36:20,145 helped alleviate anxiety and depression as well. 707 00:36:20,325 --> 00:36:21,505 So I think it's a win-win. 708 00:36:21,945 --> 00:36:23,585 - I talk to my plants every day 709 00:36:24,005 --> 00:36:25,785 and at night, you know, I'll reach up 710 00:36:25,785 --> 00:36:28,145 and shake one of its leaves and say goodnight . 711 00:36:28,145 --> 00:36:29,985 Which is, I mean, don't mind think that's crazy, 712 00:36:30,205 --> 00:36:32,625 but I swear they know what I'm leaving town 713 00:36:33,285 --> 00:36:36,385 and they look to me, they feel excited when I come home 714 00:36:36,485 --> 00:36:38,905 and people think I'm a little off. But 715 00:36:39,425 --> 00:36:41,345 - I love the fact that you're touching your plants. 716 00:36:41,445 --> 00:36:42,665 That's awesome. Oh 717 00:36:42,665 --> 00:36:43,985 - Yeah. We're we're buddies. 718 00:36:44,525 --> 00:36:45,625 - That's great. I, um, 719 00:36:45,625 --> 00:36:47,985 when I introduce a new specimen into the family, 720 00:36:48,125 --> 00:36:50,825 I'm always talking like, hello, welcome, 721 00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:52,905 welcome to your new call. 722 00:36:53,165 --> 00:36:55,305 And these are your sisters and these are your brothers. 723 00:36:55,305 --> 00:36:57,185 Yeah. And like, basically like, you know, 724 00:36:57,325 --> 00:36:58,705 and they're a community. 725 00:36:59,055 --> 00:37:01,905 They, they have their place. They know who they're with. 726 00:37:02,325 --> 00:37:05,185 What's next to them? Grounding is really important. 727 00:37:05,725 --> 00:37:08,865 The reason why is modern life wifi 728 00:37:09,485 --> 00:37:12,225 and our electrified life in general robs us 729 00:37:12,225 --> 00:37:13,425 of our electrons. 730 00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:18,785 So in order to again, keep our electrical body 731 00:37:19,725 --> 00:37:23,185 in harmony, grounding is so important. 732 00:37:23,185 --> 00:37:25,265 So bare feet on the ground, if you can't, 733 00:37:25,725 --> 00:37:26,985 if it's 50 degrees, 734 00:37:27,205 --> 00:37:30,625 or sorry, if it's like 15 degrees, 50 degrees, 735 00:37:30,805 --> 00:37:32,665 you can handle, I can definitely handle barefoot. 736 00:37:33,045 --> 00:37:34,465 But if it's too cold for you 737 00:37:34,965 --> 00:37:37,345 and you're wearing shoes outside touching a tree, 738 00:37:37,515 --> 00:37:41,025 which I always do anyway, did you know like tree hugging, 739 00:37:41,215 --> 00:37:44,505 hugging a tree, touching a tree with your bare skin 740 00:37:45,115 --> 00:37:48,265 helps ground you because its roots are grounded 741 00:37:48,805 --> 00:37:52,385 and it conducts that electrical charge to you. 742 00:37:52,965 --> 00:37:55,065 - I'm I'm gonna sound even weirder. 743 00:37:55,485 --> 00:37:57,865 Um, firstly, I am a big tree hugger. 744 00:37:57,985 --> 00:38:00,105 I grew up climbing trees. I love trees. 745 00:38:00,265 --> 00:38:03,505 I think they're incredible. I like to touch their bark. 746 00:38:03,665 --> 00:38:06,545 I say hello to them. I have trees in my neighborhood that, 747 00:38:06,885 --> 00:38:09,385 you know, I'll, I'll run and show people visiting. 748 00:38:09,415 --> 00:38:10,625 This is my favorite tree. 749 00:38:10,855 --> 00:38:12,345 Look at this tree, look at that tree. 750 00:38:12,725 --> 00:38:15,345 But I have come upon trees. 751 00:38:16,265 --> 00:38:18,185 I always ask permission before I hug them. 752 00:38:19,335 --> 00:38:20,375 I say, may I hug you? 753 00:38:20,635 --> 00:38:22,335 And I have had, there was one tree, 754 00:38:22,365 --> 00:38:24,055 usually they're fine with it. 755 00:38:24,835 --> 00:38:26,075 I know that sounds crazy, 756 00:38:26,455 --> 00:38:29,955 but I had one tree once was not having it. 757 00:38:30,055 --> 00:38:31,675 Did not wanna be hugged or touched. 758 00:38:31,895 --> 00:38:34,115 And I said, okay, I appreciate that. 759 00:38:34,295 --> 00:38:35,605 Um, I'm not gonna do that. 760 00:38:36,585 --> 00:38:37,925 - Oh my gosh, that's amazing. 761 00:38:38,505 --> 00:38:39,845 - But it was so visceral. 762 00:38:40,085 --> 00:38:42,525 I felt it that this tree does not wanna be 763 00:38:42,525 --> 00:38:44,445 hugged . Wow. 764 00:38:44,985 --> 00:38:47,165 - Wow. - That's not weird. It's so weird. 765 00:38:47,385 --> 00:38:49,365 But I swear it was very real. 766 00:38:50,345 --> 00:38:51,445 - Do you know what's so interesting? 767 00:38:51,585 --> 00:38:54,605 We define intelligence based on ourselves, which is 768 00:38:54,605 --> 00:38:56,005 so crazy and subjective. 769 00:38:56,425 --> 00:38:58,765 You know, the secret life of trees, that book, I mean, 770 00:38:58,765 --> 00:39:02,045 there's mycelium and all the mycelial networks 771 00:39:02,045 --> 00:39:03,725 and how these trees take care of each other 772 00:39:03,825 --> 00:39:05,125 and communicate, you know? 773 00:39:05,125 --> 00:39:06,485 Mm-Hmm. through that underground network. 774 00:39:06,995 --> 00:39:08,965 It's like, oh, there were smart all along. 775 00:39:08,985 --> 00:39:10,365 No, we were the dumb ones. 776 00:39:10,365 --> 00:39:13,045 They've always been doing this for millions of years. 777 00:39:13,215 --> 00:39:15,925 We're the ones who are finally figuring their language out. 778 00:39:16,315 --> 00:39:18,205 Yeah. You know, we're, we're late to the game. 779 00:39:18,515 --> 00:39:20,565 Like, we're really late to the game. 780 00:39:20,705 --> 00:39:23,245 So I think I love hearing you say that 781 00:39:23,405 --> 00:39:25,445 'cause you're trusting your intuition, Susan. 782 00:39:25,585 --> 00:39:28,285 You're trusting what you're feeling. 783 00:39:29,065 --> 00:39:31,525 And, and I think there's a lot of wisdom 784 00:39:32,225 --> 00:39:33,925 in being able to trust your wisdom. 785 00:39:34,705 --> 00:39:37,765 And that inner, I call it your inner GPS, 786 00:39:38,035 --> 00:39:42,965 because for so long I overrode that inner GPS, 787 00:39:42,965 --> 00:39:44,885 which I do believe led to my cancer. 788 00:39:45,545 --> 00:39:50,285 And I think now I'm much more careful and rooted into, 789 00:39:50,385 --> 00:39:53,165 and sometimes those are small little tiny whispers. 790 00:39:53,165 --> 00:39:55,205 They're not loud. You have to kind 791 00:39:55,205 --> 00:39:58,005 of quiet your mind in order to listen to that. 792 00:39:58,265 --> 00:40:02,325 Mm-Hmm. But if you build that practice in to your, 793 00:40:02,995 --> 00:40:06,805 your life, designing an authentic life, designing a life 794 00:40:06,805 --> 00:40:10,645 where you're experiencing beauty every single day, 795 00:40:11,185 --> 00:40:15,445 you're experiencing the sacredness of life every single day 796 00:40:15,985 --> 00:40:17,405 and creating these rituals, 797 00:40:17,485 --> 00:40:19,165 I call them my rituals of reverence. 798 00:40:19,675 --> 00:40:23,805 When you do that, then that's your paradise. 799 00:40:25,205 --> 00:40:28,085 - I love that. Have you seen those YouTube videos 800 00:40:28,265 --> 00:40:31,885 of the people that attach the little wires to plants 801 00:40:31,985 --> 00:40:34,725 and they play music and mushrooms course and all that? 802 00:40:34,985 --> 00:40:36,165 Oh, is that not the coolest 803 00:40:36,645 --> 00:40:37,645 - ? 804 00:40:37,645 --> 00:40:39,205 Of course of Yes. Yes. 805 00:40:39,345 --> 00:40:42,365 And you know, they also respond to music. It's yeah. 806 00:40:43,485 --> 00:40:47,325 Documented that classical music helps them grow. 807 00:40:48,015 --> 00:40:52,685 There is so much wisdom to the kind of life we live. 808 00:40:52,705 --> 00:40:55,525 And I design using my five senses. 809 00:40:56,145 --> 00:40:57,285 And I think, you know, 810 00:40:57,355 --> 00:40:59,485 it's counterintuitive when you're going through an illness. 811 00:40:59,795 --> 00:41:01,605 Most people think of wanting to escape. 812 00:41:02,145 --> 00:41:06,085 But for me it was actually bringing myself into my body 813 00:41:06,465 --> 00:41:08,405 and rooting down into my senses. 814 00:41:08,905 --> 00:41:11,525 And so by designing rituals 815 00:41:11,665 --> 00:41:14,245 and designing spaces, using my senses 816 00:41:14,865 --> 00:41:19,285 to layer in music, to layer in touch, the way you touch 817 00:41:19,285 --> 00:41:22,885 that leaf, to layer in sight, to see something 818 00:41:22,925 --> 00:41:24,325 that makes you happy and, 819 00:41:24,325 --> 00:41:28,725 and makes you feel centered, it's so important to curate 820 00:41:29,425 --> 00:41:31,165 to what I call declutter. 821 00:41:31,185 --> 00:41:32,285 Yes, we can declutter, 822 00:41:32,285 --> 00:41:36,605 but to curate your spaces, I consider every tabletop 823 00:41:37,435 --> 00:41:40,525 your altar, your coffee table is your altar. 824 00:41:40,915 --> 00:41:45,125 Your dresser is your altar. Your end table is your altar. 825 00:41:45,595 --> 00:41:48,765 What you place there should have reverence for you 826 00:41:49,305 --> 00:41:51,565 and only things that are sacred 827 00:41:51,865 --> 00:41:54,405 and give you joy, whatever those things are. 828 00:41:55,065 --> 00:41:59,125 So to create a home that is your living sanctuary. 829 00:41:59,345 --> 00:42:00,925 Now what does that even look like? 830 00:42:01,465 --> 00:42:04,125 If you follow, what do I like to smell? 831 00:42:04,755 --> 00:42:05,925 What do I like to taste? 832 00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:08,805 What do I like to touch against my skin? 833 00:42:09,595 --> 00:42:13,445 What do I like to look at? What colors give me joy? 834 00:42:14,025 --> 00:42:15,765 And a lot of times, you know, I have clients 835 00:42:15,785 --> 00:42:17,765 who are too scared to pick the color that they, 836 00:42:17,845 --> 00:42:18,845 I could see they really like it, 837 00:42:18,845 --> 00:42:21,005 but they're like, Ugh, I don't know if I can make 838 00:42:21,005 --> 00:42:22,205 that big of a commitment. 839 00:42:24,085 --> 00:42:26,845 A pillow on your sofa is like 840 00:42:26,845 --> 00:42:28,805 that scarf on your little black dress. 841 00:42:29,145 --> 00:42:30,965 You can change the accessory. 842 00:42:31,465 --> 00:42:35,285 You can even, and I was, I was, I just did a workshop today 843 00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:37,545 with other cancer survivors 844 00:42:37,545 --> 00:42:40,785 and I said, you know, even if you wanna shop in your house 845 00:42:41,565 --> 00:42:44,825 and you don't wanna buy a pillow cover, take a scarf 846 00:42:45,415 --> 00:42:49,745 from your closet, some scarf that feels good, silk, moher, 847 00:42:50,025 --> 00:42:51,465 whatever it is that really feels great, 848 00:42:51,965 --> 00:42:53,545 and wrap your pillow in it. 849 00:42:54,545 --> 00:42:57,835 Have that color, have that ability to create, 850 00:42:57,895 --> 00:42:59,515 people feel like they have 851 00:42:59,515 --> 00:43:01,435 to stay in the waiting room of life. 852 00:43:01,735 --> 00:43:03,155 The purgatory. Right. 853 00:43:03,215 --> 00:43:05,835 Of, of like not investing in art 854 00:43:05,895 --> 00:43:08,275 or not putting a hole in the wall because it's a rental. 855 00:43:09,055 --> 00:43:11,755 Why? Why, why should I invest? 'cause I don't own it. 856 00:43:11,785 --> 00:43:15,275 Well, guess what? You own your day. 857 00:43:15,335 --> 00:43:18,435 That's the only thing you truly own. Hmm. 858 00:43:18,655 --> 00:43:20,315 You're not taking anything with you. 859 00:43:21,365 --> 00:43:25,745 So that day that you can create that paradise, 860 00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:31,235 that's why you should create that paradise 861 00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:32,595 and own that paradise. 862 00:43:32,595 --> 00:43:35,555 And that's why I have my course called Claim Your Paradise. 863 00:43:35,665 --> 00:43:38,115 Because cancer made me realize 864 00:43:39,085 --> 00:43:41,155 there may be no tomorrow. Right. 865 00:43:41,345 --> 00:43:42,955 - Well, there isn't. We never get 866 00:43:42,975 --> 00:43:44,875 to tomorrow. It doesn't exist. 867 00:43:45,765 --> 00:43:46,915 - Right. Yeah. 868 00:43:47,155 --> 00:43:50,675 I, I wrote in my book, whoever wrote good things come 869 00:43:50,695 --> 00:43:54,395 to those who wait was a master manipulator, 870 00:43:55,155 --> 00:43:56,755 - . Let's talk about the book. 871 00:43:57,545 --> 00:44:01,735 - Sure. When I made the commitment to write my book 872 00:44:02,325 --> 00:44:05,255 Purgatory to Paradise, how 873 00:44:05,915 --> 00:44:08,375 an helped me design an Authentic Life. 874 00:44:09,235 --> 00:44:13,335 And I basically decided, um, spring 875 00:44:13,335 --> 00:44:16,015 of 2022 to write it. 876 00:44:16,315 --> 00:44:18,615 And I knew my birthday that fall was coming up. 877 00:44:18,635 --> 00:44:21,355 And I said, that's it. That's my deadline. 878 00:44:21,985 --> 00:44:24,705 It's gonna be published. That's it. 879 00:44:25,525 --> 00:44:27,545 And I reverse engineered everything. 880 00:44:27,885 --> 00:44:31,365 And the book that I wanted to write, purgatory 881 00:44:31,365 --> 00:44:35,725 to Paradise is basically an entree into these subjects 882 00:44:35,725 --> 00:44:37,125 that I will write a little bit more 883 00:44:37,145 --> 00:44:40,205 and expound a little bit more on tomorrow. 884 00:44:40,465 --> 00:44:42,245 No, in the future, . 885 00:44:43,385 --> 00:44:45,965 But it's about setting the stage 886 00:44:46,225 --> 00:44:48,005 of bringing all these threads together. 887 00:44:48,395 --> 00:44:52,685 Mythology, science, heartbreak, right? 888 00:44:53,195 --> 00:44:57,005 Epigenetics, illness, motherhood culture. 889 00:44:57,805 --> 00:44:59,245 I mean, it was, it was crazy 890 00:44:59,565 --> 00:45:02,245 'cause it hit number one in health and spirituality. 891 00:45:02,615 --> 00:45:04,765 Women in Islam, sacred sexuality, 892 00:45:04,985 --> 00:45:07,805 neuropsychology, Pakistan history. 893 00:45:07,945 --> 00:45:09,725 And I'm forgetting a few others, 894 00:45:10,225 --> 00:45:13,125 but it was, it was like a, oh, paint and wall covering. 895 00:45:13,445 --> 00:45:15,325 'cause that's who I am. You know, I'm all these things 896 00:45:15,435 --> 00:45:17,285 that we are all these things, right? 897 00:45:17,825 --> 00:45:21,805 Why pick one? So it's the idea of bringing that, being 898 00:45:21,805 --> 00:45:23,845 that bridge builder and creating, 899 00:45:25,265 --> 00:45:27,205 really putting my heart out there 900 00:45:27,205 --> 00:45:28,605 and saying, this is my story. 901 00:45:29,835 --> 00:45:31,485 This is it. This is my truth 902 00:45:32,245 --> 00:45:34,745 and this is how I make sense of what happened to me. 903 00:45:35,795 --> 00:45:38,375 And hopefully it can be your survival guide. 904 00:45:39,135 --> 00:45:40,955 - Mm-Hmm. , what were some 905 00:45:40,955 --> 00:45:43,275 of the hiccups along the way of being so honest 906 00:45:43,275 --> 00:45:45,075 with yourself and seeing yourself 907 00:45:45,075 --> 00:45:46,635 through the lens of a author? 908 00:45:47,695 --> 00:45:50,715 - What's interesting, this has been a very interesting, um, 909 00:45:50,975 --> 00:45:54,605 result is since I published, 910 00:45:55,265 --> 00:45:56,765 not everyone's happy for me. 911 00:45:57,765 --> 00:46:00,405 - Fascinating. - Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. 912 00:46:00,805 --> 00:46:03,045 I think it triggered a lot of people like those who know me 913 00:46:04,395 --> 00:46:07,285 know exactly what I was talking about. 914 00:46:08,425 --> 00:46:12,045 And I really did put everything out there 915 00:46:12,985 --> 00:46:16,285 and including vulnerable parts of 916 00:46:16,945 --> 00:46:19,325 my cancer journey, which isn't easy. 917 00:46:19,745 --> 00:46:22,325 And certainly I have friends who went 918 00:46:22,325 --> 00:46:24,565 through the same breast cancer diagnosis 919 00:46:25,025 --> 00:46:26,325 who don't tell anybody about it. 920 00:46:27,185 --> 00:46:31,855 It's part of the past that door shut. No one needs to know. 921 00:46:33,435 --> 00:46:37,175 And not that it's my identity, it was my way 922 00:46:37,275 --> 00:46:38,415 of coping and healing. 923 00:46:39,275 --> 00:46:42,295 And what I learned along the way, Susan, I'm like, 924 00:46:42,335 --> 00:46:43,655 I can't keep this to myself. 925 00:46:44,475 --> 00:46:47,975 How am I gonna just continue doing the same old, same old? 926 00:46:48,285 --> 00:46:50,455 Yeah. I can make your living room look really 927 00:46:50,505 --> 00:46:53,335 great, but is it good for you? 928 00:46:54,365 --> 00:46:57,335 What else? Let's, let's create something different here. 929 00:46:57,475 --> 00:47:00,535 And I really truly believe that everyone deserves beauty. 930 00:47:02,065 --> 00:47:04,215 Especially when you're going through something 931 00:47:04,875 --> 00:47:07,455 as catastrophic as cancer or any illness 932 00:47:07,595 --> 00:47:08,655 or any chronic illness. 933 00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:10,495 That's when you need beauty the most. 934 00:47:11,155 --> 00:47:14,335 And I believe that beauty is a very 935 00:47:15,535 --> 00:47:16,775 powerful healing modality. 936 00:47:19,545 --> 00:47:21,005 The kind of beauty that I'm talking about, 937 00:47:21,035 --> 00:47:24,565 that cellular alignment, that ability to create it. 938 00:47:24,625 --> 00:47:28,925 And you know, this newfangled word neuroaesthetics, 939 00:47:29,995 --> 00:47:31,225 which is great, you know? 940 00:47:31,845 --> 00:47:34,105 Oh yeah. Art makes you happy 941 00:47:34,445 --> 00:47:35,945 and it's a good thing for your body. 942 00:47:36,135 --> 00:47:38,785 Sure. , it's been around for a while. 943 00:47:38,795 --> 00:47:40,865 Let's, you know, let's validate some 944 00:47:40,865 --> 00:47:42,505 of this intuition that we've had. 945 00:47:42,725 --> 00:47:46,705 So like art neuroaesthetics, the idea that beauty has 946 00:47:47,625 --> 00:47:50,305 a physiological and a psychological effect on you 947 00:47:51,875 --> 00:47:52,975 has been documented. 948 00:47:53,515 --> 00:47:57,975 And I believe we need to employ it in pragmatic ways. 949 00:47:58,915 --> 00:48:01,975 And you don't need a million dollar budget 950 00:48:03,085 --> 00:48:07,345 to create that beauty, that healing oasis in your home. 951 00:48:08,285 --> 00:48:09,545 You just need education. 952 00:48:10,895 --> 00:48:13,375 - I stuck a yam in my window, sill in my kitchen. 953 00:48:13,805 --> 00:48:17,335 It's exploding with plant life. It's so wonderful. 954 00:48:17,475 --> 00:48:19,855 And I've been documenting it on my Instagram stories 955 00:48:19,955 --> 00:48:22,335 and people are like, oh my God, , oh my look, 956 00:48:22,755 --> 00:48:24,135 the littlest thing Sticks. 957 00:48:24,315 --> 00:48:27,495 Sticks. Yeah. Put it in a jar, water it daily, 958 00:48:28,145 --> 00:48:30,135 watch it explode with leaves 959 00:48:30,275 --> 00:48:33,215 and personality that brings joy. 960 00:48:33,275 --> 00:48:35,335 If something so little as a window 961 00:48:35,675 --> 00:48:37,255 yam . Mm-Hmm. can do that. 962 00:48:37,895 --> 00:48:40,135 - I love it. I love it. I think being a gardener, 963 00:48:40,795 --> 00:48:42,115 that's my church. 964 00:48:43,055 --> 00:48:46,875 That's, that's really where I pray gardening is my prayer. 965 00:48:47,695 --> 00:48:50,395 And I realize in that regard, 966 00:48:51,675 --> 00:48:56,225 there is a greater force than me at play when I watch 967 00:48:56,225 --> 00:48:58,545 something unfurl and bloom 968 00:48:58,925 --> 00:49:03,505 and just out of these tiny little seeds, a life erupts. 969 00:49:04,245 --> 00:49:08,585 And I love using the gardening analogy even in terms 970 00:49:08,605 --> 00:49:11,345 of our lives because death 971 00:49:11,885 --> 00:49:14,225 and decay are teeming with life 972 00:49:14,885 --> 00:49:18,505 and all that life that organic matter that we're growing in. 973 00:49:19,405 --> 00:49:22,545 If we can dig our hands into that soil 974 00:49:23,525 --> 00:49:24,905 and accept that soil 975 00:49:25,005 --> 00:49:28,225 and love that soil, then we can accept the deepest, 976 00:49:28,225 --> 00:49:29,825 darkest part of ourselves too. 977 00:49:30,655 --> 00:49:31,705 - Yeah, absolutely. 978 00:49:31,725 --> 00:49:33,785 And this is gardening, these conversations, 979 00:49:34,915 --> 00:49:36,585 plant seeds and others. 980 00:49:37,645 --> 00:49:39,265 - Yes. I love that. 981 00:49:39,565 --> 00:49:41,625 Oh my God, I love talking with you. This is great 982 00:49:42,025 --> 00:49:43,025 - . 983 00:49:43,025 --> 00:49:44,585 Tell people I love talking with you as well. 984 00:49:44,975 --> 00:49:49,345 Tell everybody where they might find you and your work and, 985 00:49:49,605 --> 00:49:50,625 and all the things. 986 00:49:51,515 --> 00:49:55,225 - Thank you. Claim your paradise.com. 987 00:49:56,205 --> 00:49:58,665 You can see a lot of things there. 988 00:49:59,085 --> 00:50:03,145 And for your, um, for your listeners, I have a gift. 989 00:50:04,005 --> 00:50:08,265 It is, um, my top three things you can have today 990 00:50:08,815 --> 00:50:12,705 that I have vetted and I explain the scientific reasons why. 991 00:50:13,405 --> 00:50:17,385 And that's at claim your paradise.com/podcast, 992 00:50:18,365 --> 00:50:20,745 um, where you can download that today 993 00:50:21,365 --> 00:50:24,465 and you can find me on Instagram at moish 994 00:50:26,025 --> 00:50:27,485 ed under designs. 995 00:50:27,905 --> 00:50:30,645 - And that's M-A-H-W-I-S-H. 996 00:50:31,305 --> 00:50:33,485 - Yes. SYED designs. 997 00:50:33,725 --> 00:50:35,325 - SYED. Yes. Yes, yes. 998 00:50:35,835 --> 00:50:37,525 It's been so lovely speaking with you. 999 00:50:38,325 --> 00:50:40,005 - Likewise. - I'm 1000 00:50:40,005 --> 00:50:42,125 so glad you're out there doing your thing. 1001 00:50:42,265 --> 00:50:46,605 And I think it's so important to have these conversations 1002 00:50:46,605 --> 00:50:50,885 because many of us run around on autopilot 1003 00:50:50,985 --> 00:50:54,965 or even when we are incredibly present, 1004 00:50:55,385 --> 00:50:57,245 we can slip back into old patterns. 1005 00:50:57,625 --> 00:51:00,605 And these sorts of conversations are such a lovely reminder 1006 00:51:01,075 --> 00:51:04,285 that it's not just about what we ourselves do, 1007 00:51:04,825 --> 00:51:08,325 but in everything that we surround ourselves with as well, 1008 00:51:08,425 --> 00:51:12,125 the things we put in our body visually, through our mouth, 1009 00:51:12,155 --> 00:51:15,685 through our nose, through our ears, it's, it's all a part 1010 00:51:15,685 --> 00:51:19,925 of it through our feet when we walk on the grass, all of it. 1011 00:51:20,825 --> 00:51:23,405 - Yes. Yes. I love that. Exactly. 1012 00:51:23,945 --> 00:51:25,685 We speak the same language. . 1013 00:51:25,945 --> 00:51:27,805 So nice to meet you. So nice to know you. 1014 00:51:28,275 --> 00:51:30,525 - It's so lovely to meet and know you as well. 1015 00:51:31,005 --> 00:51:32,725 Congrats on being cancer free. 1016 00:51:32,925 --> 00:51:35,125 I know that that's one hell of a journey. 1017 00:51:35,345 --> 00:51:37,645 So, and you, you said it yourself, 1018 00:51:37,925 --> 00:51:40,725 although if you had an I would have about that, we all have 1019 00:51:41,085 --> 00:51:43,645 to go through these dark, not just one in our lifetime, 1020 00:51:43,665 --> 00:51:45,285 but so many dark nights of the soul 1021 00:51:45,905 --> 00:51:48,325 and, you know, we have to go to the underworld. 1022 00:51:49,235 --> 00:51:52,885 It's, it's a requirement, I think, to live this life. 1023 00:51:53,905 --> 00:51:55,925 And I think a lot of people are afraid 1024 00:51:55,925 --> 00:51:58,205 of the underworld, understandably. 1025 00:51:58,505 --> 00:52:02,365 But it's such an incredibly important part of our being 1026 00:52:03,185 --> 00:52:04,365 and our shadow. 1027 00:52:04,365 --> 00:52:07,245 Everything wants to be heard, even the darkest depth 1028 00:52:07,305 --> 00:52:08,325 of ourselves, you know? 1029 00:52:08,435 --> 00:52:10,485 - Exactly. I tell my son, you know, 1030 00:52:10,485 --> 00:52:12,965 the boogie man is scarier when you can't see him. 1031 00:52:13,645 --> 00:52:15,725 - I agree. I agree. 1032 00:52:15,825 --> 00:52:18,445 And even the boogeyman just wants to have a conversation. 1033 00:52:20,215 --> 00:52:22,025 - Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. 1034 00:52:22,245 --> 00:52:24,025 Oh my gosh, you're so wise. Love it, 1035 00:52:24,305 --> 00:52:25,305 - . 1036 00:52:25,305 --> 00:52:27,385 Well, you too. All right. Take care. Have a lovely day. 1037 00:52:27,385 --> 00:52:28,385 Take care. And thank you. 1038 00:52:29,305 --> 00:52:31,105 - Absolutely. Thank you. - And thank you 1039 00:52:31,165 --> 00:52:32,225 for listening everybody. 1040 00:52:32,765 --> 00:52:36,065 Bye Bye. Great review 1041 00:52:36,085 --> 00:52:39,065 and subscribe to Hey, human Podcast on iTunes 1042 00:52:39,125 --> 00:52:40,705 or wherever you get your podcast. 1043 00:52:41,205 --> 00:52:42,345 Thanks. Bye.