1 00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:11,040 Hey, humans. How's it going? Susan, Ruth here. 2 00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:14,920 Thanks for listening to another episode of Hey Human Podcast. 3 00:00:16,420 --> 00:00:17,480 Before I get into it, 4 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:21,160 I want to acknowledge that the past couple episodes have had some major 5 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,360 technical difficulties. 6 00:00:23,070 --> 00:00:25,440 I've been working really hard to try and figure them out. 7 00:00:25,890 --> 00:00:30,120 Never placed cords and turned dials and reloaded Zoom, 8 00:00:30,420 --> 00:00:34,560 and I think I have fixed it. Uh, please be patient with me, 9 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,760 and I appreciate your patience through the previous episodes. 10 00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:43,040 I'm doing all of this on my own, and I definitely learn in real time. Uh, 11 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:48,080 I know it sounds a little ooky on some of those previous episodes, but I, 12 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,960 I think I've fixed the problem. This is episode 3 83, 13 00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:55,680 and I had a conversation with Anthony Rosano. 14 00:00:56,260 --> 00:01:01,000 At 12 years old, Anthony was burned over 80% of his body. 15 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:04,120 His parents were told he would not survive. 16 00:01:04,820 --> 00:01:09,440 He endured 43 surgeries, 134 blood transfusions, 17 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,320 a couple months in the hospital, 18 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:16,000 and the loss of his left hand, 19 00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:19,120 he was given last rights three times. 20 00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:24,240 He tells an interesting story of a memory he had while 21 00:01:25,910 --> 00:01:29,560 basically straddling the line between life and death. I think that's accurate, 22 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:34,320 but he survived and beating every odd imaginable. 23 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:39,560 He pursued his love of sports and channeled his relentless spirit into 24 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,680 not only healing, but accomplishing incredible feats in his life, 25 00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:46,960 including playing football. By the way, uh, 26 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:50,640 his new book Against All Odds, a Story of Faith, courage, 27 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:53,280 and Never Giving Up came out this year. 28 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:58,400 It was important to me to put out this episode right now, 29 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:03,360 uh, right away highlighting something good and inspirational. 30 00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:08,560 Anthony's story moved me deeply, greatly. I hope it does. 31 00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:09,573 You too. 32 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,000 I think humanity, 33 00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:21,960 we have to keep shining the light in the good places and on the inspiration. 34 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,120 'cause it's really hard sometimes to 35 00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:31,680 keep going and to believe that 36 00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:37,640 love is greater and stronger than the bad 37 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,120 stuff that goes on in the world, 38 00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:43,200 the horrific things that we find to do to each other. 39 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:48,970 Uh, yeah. And just know I'm lifting you up, 40 00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:52,170 and I know you would be lifting me up as well. 41 00:02:53,070 --> 00:02:57,450 And thank you for listening and for sharing this show with people. 42 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:03,440 Take care of each other, be kind, 43 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,320 be love. Hold each other up, 44 00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:10,960 hold each other close when none of us know when our last day is. 45 00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:15,680 And it's scary sometimes in the world. 46 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:20,040 Scary a lot of times in the world. And we need each other 47 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,940 to do. Remind people you love them, 48 00:03:25,190 --> 00:03:28,500 especially if you haven't talked to them for a while. And 49 00:03:30,270 --> 00:03:33,260 again, thank you. All right, here we go. 50 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,033 Hi. 51 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:41,503 Hey, how you doing? 52 00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:43,370 Doing fine. How are you? 53 00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:45,850 I'm doing well, thank you. Good. 54 00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:47,290 I like that painting behind you. 55 00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:49,490 Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. 56 00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:51,023 Did you do that? 57 00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:54,090 No, no. That's just, uh, something my wife had bought. 58 00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:55,730 Oh, it's cool. 59 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,153 Yeah. 60 00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:00,210 That's one of those kinds of paintings you could stare at for a while and see 61 00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:01,170 something different every time. 62 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,690 Isn't that the truth? That's a, that's a good, 63 00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:06,010 that's a good perspective on life also. Yeah. 64 00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:08,170 That's a good metaphor for how we see humans, right? 65 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,153 Yeah. Yeah. It's true. 66 00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:11,410 Do you have any questions before we start? 67 00:04:12,350 --> 00:04:15,130 I'm excited. I just, uh, just wanted to let you know, 68 00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:18,610 I'm real excited to be here and, and, uh, to talk with your audience, 69 00:04:18,830 --> 00:04:20,810 and this is gonna be really cool. 70 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:24,010 Ano welcome to Hey, human. 71 00:04:24,590 --> 00:04:26,330 Hey human. What's up, ? 72 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:27,213 How's it going? 73 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,690 It's going good. It's going real well. Uh, life's good. I'm happy. 74 00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:36,170 And, um, I'm just excited for a lot of the things that are going on right now. 75 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,810 Well, good. Well, let's jump in. Tell me where you were raised, 76 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:41,930 where were you brought up? 77 00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:46,450 I was born and raised in, uh, western Pennsylvania. Uh, new Castle, pa, 78 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:50,490 which is about, uh, 55 miles, uh, north of Pittsburgh. 79 00:04:51,270 --> 00:04:55,570 Uh, just, uh, it, it's between Pittsburgh and Cleveland, Ohio. Uh, 80 00:04:55,990 --> 00:05:00,530 so a very, uh, ethnic town, you know, a lot of, uh, people from, 81 00:05:00,790 --> 00:05:05,370 uh, where our family originally, uh, originated in the Amalfi Coast in Italy, 82 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:10,330 uh, migrated to, uh, to New Castle in the early, uh, 83 00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:14,690 20th century. Worked in the railroad steel industry and such. And, um, 84 00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:18,810 and then it's just, uh, the, and it just was a really wonderful place to grow, 85 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,930 grow up and, uh, and, and be raised. 86 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,490 Have you been to the Amalfi Coast? I want to go there desperately. 87 00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:26,730 I hear it's absolutely stunning. 88 00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:32,530 You know, it is stunning. Now, I will say that I've been all around, uh, 89 00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:35,970 Italy. I've been to Portugal, I've been to Spain, I've been to France. 90 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,090 I've been, uh, 91 00:05:37,090 --> 00:05:40,970 to the Czech Republic and to Poland and all throughout Eastern Europe. 92 00:05:41,430 --> 00:05:45,170 But unfortunately, I have yet to make it to, uh, to the Amalfi Coast. 93 00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:47,490 And so that's something that I really am looking for, 94 00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:48,610 I wanna do in the next year. 95 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,810 Good. You need to go see your homeland. 96 00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:56,730 You know, we were planning on it, and, uh, we went to Europe in 2017. Bless you. 97 00:05:57,110 --> 00:06:01,200 Then we went to, uh, Europe in 2019, and then Covid hit, 98 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:04,880 travel restrictions went on. We were supposed to go. And, you know, 99 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,960 then all of a sudden there was a lot of changes. So I really want to go though, 100 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:09,790 you know. 101 00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:11,160 Well, next year, right? 102 00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:12,560 There you go. Yeah. 103 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:18,440 Tell me, we're, we're closing in on Halloween, and, uh, 104 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:23,550 you, your story is really, first of all, 105 00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:26,030 it's exceptional, in my humble opinion. Secondly, 106 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:29,590 it's a testament to human resilience. Uh, 107 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,230 let's talk about Halloween, 12 years old. You, 108 00:06:33,490 --> 00:06:34,910 can you talk us through that day? 109 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:40,870 Absolutely. Um, now this is, this is interesting because, you know, the biggest, 110 00:06:41,210 --> 00:06:44,030 uh, it, some of the dates, okay, 111 00:06:44,260 --> 00:06:48,630 that took place in my life were just ironic. Um, Halloween day, 1987, 112 00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:52,710 uh, my buddy and I were fool around. We were in my garage. 113 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:56,430 We got caught up doing things that we shouldn't have done. Uh, 114 00:06:56,530 --> 00:07:00,870 we were sniffing gas, and, you know, trying to, it just was a stupid thing for, 115 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,670 you know, a 12 year old kid to do. 116 00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:06,230 It was the only time in my life I ever did anything like that. And, you know, 117 00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:09,230 my buddy without, you know, having any type of like, uh, 118 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:14,990 what I would consider intent, he flipped a match and my clothes set on fire, 119 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:18,830 you know, I loved it. I loved the kid to this day, and he admitted it later. 120 00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:23,430 But that's, that's, that's just, it was an accident. Okay? Uh, 121 00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:28,670 I was then, I was a ball, flames, you know, my, my, my pants caught on fire, 122 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,750 sweatpants, my jacket caught on fire, my shirt caught on fire. 123 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:37,590 I was a ball of flames all over my body. It was, uh, it was, it was quite, 124 00:07:37,810 --> 00:07:42,070 you know, you know, remarkable. Like, I cannot even believe the way, 125 00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:43,790 when I think about, uh, 126 00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:47,790 what it was like to breathe in the fire and hear the crackling flames and 127 00:07:47,790 --> 00:07:50,550 filling my skin melt off of me, it was just, 128 00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:54,510 it's almost unbelievable that I could sit here with these memories. But, 129 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:58,870 you know, there was a piece that came over me in that fire also, uh, 130 00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:01,910 which was very special and, and revealing. Um, 131 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:05,390 I like to think that it was the Lord that was saving me, or, 132 00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:08,870 or the presence of an angel. Um, you know, 133 00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:12,870 whatever that presence was, whether it was just a, you know, 134 00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:14,590 your mind blocking out the, 135 00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:19,590 the pain being so severe or whatever explanation that someone wants to 136 00:08:19,590 --> 00:08:24,030 give, it was miraculous because to feel peace in the moment of, 137 00:08:24,330 --> 00:08:27,550 of fire is, is just something that, you know, 138 00:08:27,570 --> 00:08:31,630 for that pain to be taken away, so to speak. Um, but I, 139 00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:35,230 I got outta my garage and my neighbor saw me, and they saw this, 140 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:40,190 this person on fire, and they immediately, uh, went into action. 141 00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:45,470 And, uh, my neighbor, Mary Ryan, said to roll, roll, roll. 142 00:08:46,370 --> 00:08:49,750 Um, and as she was saying that, 143 00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:53,550 my other neighbors were looking out their back window, Mr. And Mrs. Uh, 144 00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:57,840 Henry and Mary Hartman, and he, Mr. Hartman just ran to his garage. 145 00:08:58,110 --> 00:09:03,040 He's happened to have an army blanket in there and grabbed it. And, uh, 146 00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:07,920 as I rolled, I rolled into that blanket and then put the fire out. Um, 147 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:11,920 so in the, in the moments that that happened, uh, the, 148 00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:15,520 the split seconds that it occurred, I may have been, 149 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,480 I don't know exactly how long I was on fire. Was it 30 seconds? Was it a minute? 150 00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:23,520 It was a long enough time to burn my body, third degree burns, 151 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:28,200 87% of my body. Um, but in that amount of time, 152 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,200 my life had changed forever. 153 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:31,440 I, there are no words for that. 154 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,720 I don't even know exactly what to say to that other than how horrifying, 155 00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:40,880 and I'm sorry that happened to you, but I know that from reading about you, 156 00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:45,160 that you look at it as its own gift. And we'll get into that. 157 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,440 But in that moment, for as a 12 year old boy, 158 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,880 I was talking to my dad this morning, and, you know, he said, oh, 159 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,280 what are you doing today? And I said, I'm interviewing this man. 160 00:09:55,980 --> 00:10:00,960 And he was burned up as a little kid and almost died several 161 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:05,520 times and kind of retelling the story. And I said, and he said, well, 162 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:09,360 how did it happen? A house fire? And I said, no, it wasn't that. 163 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,200 I said it was kids being kids. 164 00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:16,200 It was kids being curious and getting into things, 165 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:20,800 because that's what kids do. And having, and, 166 00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:24,560 and as you said, your friend flicked a match as a 12 year old kid, 167 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:29,440 as an adult, you think, how horrifying was he trying to light you on fire? 168 00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:33,160 But as a 12 year old kid, the, the mind goes to, 169 00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:36,640 there's not much, there's not much impulse control. 170 00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:40,160 So the mind goes to what would happen if I threw a match right now? It's not, 171 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,800 it doesn't go through consequence. 172 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:47,600 I agree. I don't think he was trying to hurt me. And, and in fact, um, 173 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:52,920 I did have a lot of, you know, uh, regret and, and, uh, 174 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,600 animosity, especially later. Like not in my, 175 00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:58,960 when I was fighting to get back on the football field, 176 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,440 when I was fighting for physical rehabilitation, 177 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,640 when I was going through high school and dealing with, 178 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:08,760 I didn't have time to think about, you know, my emotions or deal with it, 179 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:13,080 or I was just trying to live a normal life. But then later into my adulthood, 180 00:11:13,660 --> 00:11:18,360 it started to catch up. You know, your mind starts to, you know, it, 181 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:18,860 it just, 182 00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:23,120 the way that the human condition is you put something off for so long to deal 183 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,880 with it, and then all of a sudden it just like you, 184 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:30,720 one day you wake up and you're like, what happened to me? Okay, what, 185 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:34,880 what, what took place here? And you know, I, so, you know, 186 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:37,120 everybody has their different thing, you know, 187 00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:39,600 and I can't say that I'm holier than thou, 188 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,160 but I will say that I have a lot of faith in God. And, 189 00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:45,240 and I know that God saved my life. Um, you know, 190 00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:47,680 whether or not I believe in Jesus Christ, 191 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:52,600 whether you believe in and call God something different, you call God Allah, 192 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:56,320 you, you say, God is Buddha, you say, uh, God is the universe. 193 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:00,360 I have respect and believe that all people who are good people and love God. 194 00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:04,440 So that's not what I'm here really to, to say. But I believe in Jesus Christ. 195 00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:09,320 And I turn to my church and my faith to try to reconcile a lot of, 196 00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:13,680 of my own emotions. You know? And I'll never forget a day in, uh, 197 00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:18,660 in 2000 and, uh, 19, okay. 198 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,580 And I took my family to the pool, okay? Uh, 199 00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:25,780 which was 30 miles away from my house. So it wasn't like a close pool. 200 00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:28,580 It was like a pool that you had to drive to, right? 201 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:33,660 And I dropped him off a Saturday afternoon, and there was a church next door, 202 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:38,660 and I was just feeling like I needed something to get in my spirit. Well, 203 00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:43,380 I went to church, came back, saw where my family was, sitting at the pool, 204 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:48,060 put my stuff down, sat down on the chair, not thinking twice about it, 205 00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:53,850 who was sitting next to me. It was my friend who flicked the match. 206 00:12:55,460 --> 00:12:59,530 Ironically, haven't saw him in 15 years, right? 207 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,530 Haven't saw him in 15 years. Just, I was praying, who's sitting next to me? 208 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:09,260 Well, we had, it was awkward for a minute, 209 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:13,020 but then we had a day where we played catch in the water. 210 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:18,300 Our kids played together, we talked all day. And at the end of the day, 211 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,500 we never brought up the accident, talked about our lives. At the end of the day, 212 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,460 we hugged each other, kissed on the cheek. I told him, I love you. 213 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:30,500 He told me he loved me. And it was a moment of healing, like unbelievable. 214 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:35,420 Now, it doesn't stop there, because here we go, my daughter and I, 215 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:37,500 then the next week we're thinking, oh my goodness, 216 00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:40,340 what a beautiful spirits working right now we go to, 217 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:44,260 we go to church on a Saturday. We never go to church on Saturday, okay? We, 218 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,260 that day for the, we went to four o'clock mass, 219 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,700 sat in our pew and in our faith, they have this, uh, you at, 220 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:55,660 at a certain part of the mass, you shake hands and say, peace be with you, 221 00:13:56,080 --> 00:14:00,530 and you offer somebody peace. Okay? Well, as it would turn out, 222 00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:05,990 the woman who turned around to say, peace be with you at the four o'clock mess, 223 00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:06,843 who was it? 224 00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:11,140 It was his mother and his father sitting right in front of me. 225 00:14:11,140 --> 00:14:15,620 We didn't even know they were there. Kiss on the face had a, a, a moment. 226 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:19,700 And so call it the Holy Spirit. That's what I believe that is. 227 00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:22,380 Call it the human spirit. Call it the way of healing. 228 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,740 Whatever you want to assign to it. 229 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,540 It was just a beau beautiful moment of healing. And, and so I don't, 230 00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:33,780 I don't really have any type of animosity toward my friend. I love him, 231 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,340 love his family. They've always been supportive. 232 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,780 It was just something that happened that, uh, that was unfortunate. You know. 233 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,280 I would say that that is a perfect example of grace. 234 00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:47,080 Yeah, it was a beautiful grace. 235 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,960 Something that I could have never gotten on my own. 236 00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:54,200 Tell me about what it was like, like in the healing of, uh, 237 00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:58,000 post-fire. You're in the hospital nearly two months, is that correct? 238 00:14:58,700 --> 00:14:59,533 Two and a half months. 239 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:04,320 A hundred plus blood transfusions, 30 odd surgeries. 240 00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:05,400 How many surgeries did you have? 241 00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:10,320 Well, at this time, I, I know that at one point I had 43 surgeries. Wow. Um, 242 00:15:10,630 --> 00:15:15,560 I've had a few since then. You know, I had 134 br blood transfusions. I had, 243 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:19,040 uh, there was, they said if I lived for a day, I would die in three days. 244 00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:21,920 If I lived for three days, I would die in three weeks of infection. 245 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,440 I was fortunate to make it through the first night. 246 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:29,760 I made it fir through the first three nights. And, um, and it got bad. See, 247 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:34,160 I was burned on Halloween day, but then the infection got so severe, uh, 248 00:15:34,590 --> 00:15:38,280 like 10 days in that I had gangrene in my left hand. 249 00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:40,000 And as it would turn out, 250 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,720 I would have to have the top half of my hand amputated. Well, 251 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:50,040 as fate would have it, that happened on Friday the 13th. So now Halloween, 252 00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:54,840 Dan burn, Friday the 13th, which is interesting. My, my hand is amputated. 253 00:15:55,700 --> 00:16:00,240 And then three weeks into the, uh, the situation in, in the hospital, 254 00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:05,720 um, I now had three bots of sepsis, uh, sepsis. I had, uh, 255 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:10,760 my last rates given to me three times. And my heart would not get regulated. 256 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,920 My heart was beating 189 beats a minute for three consecutive days. 257 00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:18,600 They put me in a drug induced coma, and it wouldn't slow down. 258 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,520 They did everything that they could do. My blood pressure was 49 over 20. 259 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:27,280 My temperature was 106. They gave me every medicine that they could give me. 260 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,000 And finally they had to have the talk with my parents that said, look, 261 00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:33,093 we did it all. 262 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:38,560 And your heart can't beat at 189 beats a minute, inevitably. 263 00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:43,440 So we can't give him any more medication. It's just, 264 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,460 it's, he's not gonna make it through the night. You know, 265 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,900 it's just physically impossible. 266 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:52,420 It would be like running a marathon continuously for three and four days. 267 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:57,300 He just, nobody could survive that. Well, my parents set up a vigil in my room, 268 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,180 and, uh, they, they packed. 269 00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:02,860 They were kept putting ice on my wrist and my neck on my ankles. 270 00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:06,660 They were prayed over me. They, the family, everyone thought I was gonna pass. 271 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,260 So all kinds of people gathered from my hometown, like 70, 272 00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:15,060 80 people and family members, they were praying all night. Um, my, 273 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,860 my, uh, priest, 274 00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:21,380 father Morrow Ella brought in a little Italian lady from the north side of 275 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:25,460 Pittsburgh. She anointed me with this oil, whether it's from, there's, I never, 276 00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:28,220 I don't know where it was from. It was either from Jerusalem. 277 00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:32,500 Some people said it was from a crying Mary statue. I just don't know. Okay. 278 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:37,060 So when I talk about it, it's like hard for me. It was a special oil. Okay? 279 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:42,140 And, uh, and my cousin from Chicago, named Eugene Ranieri, 280 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,540 he sent a letter, 281 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:48,500 which I found later when I was writing my book with that was attached to 282 00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:52,200 a pink handkerchief with blessed oil. And he said to wipe it on my face, 283 00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:56,080 and I would survive. Now, the little old lady anointed me, 284 00:17:56,100 --> 00:18:00,440 and she prayed in front of my bed. And that after she was done praying, 285 00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:03,320 she hugged my mother. Now, this is at a time when they said, 286 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,520 make funeral arrangements. She hugged my mother and said, 287 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,890 your boy's gonna be just fine. Okay? Now, 288 00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:12,850 that's a pretty risky thing to say in that moment. But she said, 289 00:18:12,850 --> 00:18:16,290 your boy's gonna be just fine. And Eugene, my cousin, 290 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,490 sent in his note that my parents received that day, touch my face, 291 00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:23,530 and your son will be healed. Well, the next morning, they, 292 00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:27,260 now they stopped with the medicine. The next morning 293 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:32,950 when I was supposed to have passed overnight, my blood pressure was stable, 294 00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:36,630 my heart rate was stable. My fever had gone away. 295 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:42,820 And the doctor, Dr. Slater, who was just, he's very stoic man. 296 00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:47,500 Someone that just very stoic, man, I love him. Okay? He passed away. Now, 297 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:52,580 I spoke at his, uh, at the, at when there was a ceremony, uh, 298 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,580 for his passing for the burn unit. Um, 299 00:18:56,040 --> 00:19:01,020 he came in and he looked under my blankets and or my, my dressings, 300 00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:04,350 and said, incredible, okay. 301 00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:09,030 And I'll never forget the way he said. Incredible. It was just with this tone, 302 00:19:09,970 --> 00:19:13,300 you know? And, um, and two weeks later, 303 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:18,940 I was on my feet taking my first step, you know? So it was just, 304 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:23,220 uh, remarkable the transition that happened. 305 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:28,540 And, uh, on Christmas day, now, another, you know, you know, 306 00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:33,620 holiday, so to speak, you know, definitely a holiday, you know, celebration. 307 00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:35,550 That's when Dr. 308 00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:39,790 Goldfarb came to my room and told my family the big news that I would survive. 309 00:19:40,590 --> 00:19:44,790 I was gonna make it, I'd be able to go home. You know? So it was just, uh, 310 00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,790 to think back on that time in that hospital, 311 00:19:47,510 --> 00:19:52,510 I did nothing except endure . I laid there, I laid there, you know, 312 00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:56,350 and I endured it. I was able to endure, but it wasn't in my own strength. Uh, 313 00:19:56,350 --> 00:20:00,230 there was lots of prayers around me. And so it teaches us sometimes when, 314 00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:02,830 when life is the most difficult, and you're, 315 00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:06,510 you have the most pressure on you sometimes, you know, 316 00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:10,230 we run ourselves out just trying to put effort in to clear it. 317 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:14,030 And there's other times that we just have to sit down and be still and let it 318 00:20:14,030 --> 00:20:17,870 pass and, uh, and have faith in the goodness of tomorrow, and it's gonna come. 319 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,630 And, and that's one of those moments that taught me that. 320 00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:23,580 When you would lose your hand, was there somebody, 321 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:27,220 were you awake and aware of that, or did you find that out after the fact? 322 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:32,660 No, I was, so what happened is when you're intubated in, in, like, 323 00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:37,620 in my situation, I, they were able to take the, the tube out, 324 00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:39,500 okay. And, you know, 325 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:44,500 and take and reduce the amount of medication that I was on so that 326 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,400 my, my organs didn't shut down. So, um, I was intubated. 327 00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:53,560 But then they, Dr. Moy, um, who was just, 328 00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:58,320 he had passed away too. Dr. Moy was, um, he was a great man. 329 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,440 I remember he walked with, he had a club foot, which is kind of, uh, 330 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,760 interesting to think back on, okay. Because when he would walk into your room, 331 00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,800 it, you, it just was a, it was pronounced in his gate, 332 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:15,560 like the way that he walked, you could see it. It's not so being there. And, 333 00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:19,760 uh, I, I always, I, I, I'll never forget, they took me into the, uh, 334 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,560 occupational therapy room. And Dr. 335 00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:26,550 Moy came in and I was up in a wheelchair. And, um, 336 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:30,990 my parents couldn't bear to tell me, okay? And, and I'm sitting there, 337 00:21:31,150 --> 00:21:35,630 I was lucid. I'm obviously, they were giving me a lot of pain medicine, but Dr. 338 00:21:35,810 --> 00:21:37,790 Moy had explained that, um, 339 00:21:37,790 --> 00:21:41,830 there was an infection in my left hand that it wasn't going to 340 00:21:42,610 --> 00:21:44,150 get better. And it was, 341 00:21:44,260 --> 00:21:49,150 that infection was causing me to get ill in a way that was 342 00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:52,470 presenting a risk to my life. And, uh, 343 00:21:52,890 --> 00:21:56,750 and I understood what he meant. And I said to him, quite 344 00:21:58,590 --> 00:22:02,720 like, I said, please save my life and not my hand. 345 00:22:03,220 --> 00:22:06,560 That's what I said to him. And, um, you know, it was, 346 00:22:06,710 --> 00:22:11,640 I'll never forget those moments, that conversation that, um, that, 347 00:22:12,070 --> 00:22:16,280 that exchange, he said it to me in a loving way, but a matter of fact way. 348 00:22:17,020 --> 00:22:21,360 And I understood the seriousness of it, you know, for a long time. I mean, 349 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:22,800 honestly, when I lost my hand, 350 00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:28,000 it was the most painful 'cause it was so swell that even 351 00:22:28,060 --> 00:22:31,760 in a room, like when I would have to keep it up on a, on a, 352 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,080 a table above my bed. But like when a, a door, 353 00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:39,080 you're in a big hospital room, but when the door would shut, 354 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:43,360 there's very small vibration. That little vibration will cause a chilling pain. 355 00:22:44,420 --> 00:22:48,720 But what I have learned through the years and in 356 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:51,800 reconciliation of my own, uh, 357 00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:53,960 trauma was 358 00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:57,790 a very important lesson about them. 359 00:22:58,530 --> 00:23:03,430 And the lesson was that if they did not remove that 360 00:23:03,430 --> 00:23:05,310 part of my hand, okay, 361 00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:08,760 then I would've died. 362 00:23:09,810 --> 00:23:14,430 But my hand was already infected to the point, and burned to the point, 363 00:23:14,850 --> 00:23:17,590 or hit had died even though it was a part of me. 364 00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:23,390 So sometimes as we go through our lives, there are relationships 365 00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:25,980 that are a part of us, 366 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:31,100 but that relationship died long before we let it go. Or. 367 00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:31,980 It's diseased. 368 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,620 Or it's diseased, 369 00:23:34,950 --> 00:23:39,840 or there is a job that we're in that we're no 370 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,040 longer called for, 371 00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:46,480 or there's a habit that we have that is causing us illness, 372 00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:47,960 or there's, there's, 373 00:23:47,990 --> 00:23:52,800 there's dead or diseased parts of our life that we 374 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:57,640 have to let go of in order for us to survive and become the best version 375 00:23:57,700 --> 00:24:01,600 of ourselves that we can. Now, mine happened in the physical, 376 00:24:02,780 --> 00:24:07,560 but most of these lessons that we all have to learn haven't happened in the 377 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:08,960 mental or the spiritual. 378 00:24:09,940 --> 00:24:14,760 And it took me a long time to let go of the notion 379 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,840 of, of, of feeling bad for, 380 00:24:17,100 --> 00:24:21,320 for what happened to my hand until it clicked that 381 00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:24,680 you have to let go of those things in your life, 382 00:24:25,950 --> 00:24:27,720 even if they mean something to you, 383 00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:32,710 if they're causing you harm or they're poisoning the rest of your life or your 384 00:24:32,710 --> 00:24:36,350 future. And I think that's a lesson that we all, as human beings, 385 00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:38,950 need to understand and learn. It's very difficult at times. 386 00:24:41,060 --> 00:24:44,120 As a kid who has a whole future ahead of them. 387 00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:48,480 And you were a football fan and, and into sports and, 388 00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:53,280 and wanting to play. And I think about a 12 year old boy too, 389 00:24:53,310 --> 00:24:57,640 just a, you know, on the precipice of girls and, 390 00:24:57,940 --> 00:25:01,600 and life and do all that kind of stuff. What, 391 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,120 how did you come to terms with that? 392 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,040 I'm sure you had people around you trying to help you through it, 393 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:11,360 but nobody can really help you through that. You have to be there for yourself, 394 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:16,120 ultimately. How did you find that piece as you were going? 395 00:25:16,260 --> 00:25:18,520 Or did you not until you were an adult? 396 00:25:20,650 --> 00:25:24,340 Well, I was blessed. Okay. So I was a kid. I developed early. 397 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,580 So at 11 years old, I was already built like someone who was a lot older, 398 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:33,140 you know? So, you know, that was the year of, uh, going into junior high. 399 00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:37,460 I had my first kiss be that summer, and that was really something that, 400 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,260 you know, that's every boy, every girl remembers their first kiss. And so, 401 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:46,300 you know, that was sweet. Um, you know, and then I was a pretty good athlete, 402 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,620 you know, and, and I was always playing with the kids older than me. So I was, 403 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:54,700 I was pretty talented. And, um, and that I had a future in athletics. 404 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:57,940 And I knew, you know, because my family, where we came from, 405 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,740 and I just loved it and had this aggressive nature. And on the football field, 406 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:02,700 on the baseball field, 407 00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:06,300 I was a better football player than baseball player at the time. But, um, 408 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,940 but that's, it's something that I loved. So the idea, 409 00:26:10,050 --> 00:26:12,260 when I was in that hospital, see, I went to this, 410 00:26:12,340 --> 00:26:17,340 I went from elementary school in my community to, uh, lar to a big junior high. 411 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:22,260 So these were the first two months of that junior high. So now, 412 00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:26,900 this was the first time that I was meeting all the kids from all over time, 413 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:31,020 you know, and we were just becoming friends, and I was having so much fun being, 414 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:35,620 taking the step from elementary school to junior high. I loved it. 415 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,780 It kind of got in my heart. 416 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:42,860 So the whole time I was in the hospital, I just had this, 417 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,240 I couldn't let go of that, that love for, you know, 418 00:26:47,710 --> 00:26:51,520 growing up and being one of the older kids now, and the idea of, 419 00:26:51,620 --> 00:26:52,720 of playing sports. 420 00:26:52,900 --> 00:26:57,000 And so playing ball and getting back on the football field was really a calling 421 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,800 card for me. It was really a, a passion, 422 00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:05,280 or it was really the, the, the job or the, 423 00:27:05,380 --> 00:27:09,760 the thing that was set out there in the future that I knew that everything that 424 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:10,800 I was fighting for, 425 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,800 everything that I was enduring during this time was some that was worth it 426 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,280 to me. I wanted to go and walk into that ultimate destiny. 427 00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:23,320 That was a dream at the time. And, but when you're a 12 year old, 428 00:27:23,870 --> 00:27:28,240 your dreams, you feel you can do anything. And, and the doctors, my parents, 429 00:27:28,420 --> 00:27:32,880 my mom and dad, my brother, nobody ever made me feel like I couldn't, 430 00:27:33,550 --> 00:27:37,240 okay. And I always believed that I could, 431 00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:39,600 and especially my dad, you know, 432 00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:43,520 my dad said to me in the emergency room when he's, 433 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,480 when it looked the absolute worst, 434 00:27:46,460 --> 00:27:49,080 he came up to me and he kissed me on my forehead. He said, 435 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,480 you don't worry about a thing. We're all gonna walk outta here together. 436 00:27:53,060 --> 00:27:56,890 And we did. You know? 437 00:27:56,990 --> 00:28:01,050 So we did walk out of there together, no matter how hard it was. 438 00:28:01,110 --> 00:28:04,970 So walking out of there together was said it was 0% chance. 439 00:28:05,030 --> 00:28:08,490 So the notion that I wasn't gonna be on the football field again, 440 00:28:09,110 --> 00:28:11,810 you could have told me it was a 5% chance. Well, 441 00:28:11,810 --> 00:28:14,570 that was way better than I had the chance of being, 442 00:28:14,630 --> 00:28:18,330 of even getting out of that hospital, what was gonna happen, you know? 443 00:28:18,390 --> 00:28:22,210 So I lived my life as a teenager, 444 00:28:22,470 --> 00:28:27,170 and then as at an adolescent in this state of denial 445 00:28:27,980 --> 00:28:30,610 where I put a brave face on, 446 00:28:30,990 --> 00:28:35,890 and I moved forward every single day the best that I could. And, 447 00:28:36,430 --> 00:28:38,730 and I didn't acknowledge my limitations, 448 00:28:39,430 --> 00:28:44,250 and I didn't acknowledge my disability, and I didn't acknowledge my pain. 449 00:28:45,230 --> 00:28:48,810 And, um, and, you know, I, I had a really good time in high, 450 00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:52,130 junior high and high school. I always had a girlfriend. Every, I always did. 451 00:28:52,170 --> 00:28:55,170 I never remember a, a time where, you know, 452 00:28:55,170 --> 00:28:57,810 there I was treated different than like that. You know, 453 00:28:57,930 --> 00:29:01,130 I had some really special people in my life in junior high and high school. 454 00:29:01,190 --> 00:29:04,330 And then I met my wife Katie, in, in college. 455 00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:07,490 We've been together for a long time, since 1995. 456 00:29:07,540 --> 00:29:12,290 We've been married for now 24 years. And so, um, you know, 457 00:29:12,290 --> 00:29:16,930 but life is an, is a constant up and down and a beautiful struggle. And, um, 458 00:29:17,350 --> 00:29:21,850 the adjustment, I think that I was really blessed to have some great friends, 459 00:29:22,550 --> 00:29:26,770 uh, tremendous support system, uh, teachers who understood me, 460 00:29:27,390 --> 00:29:30,970 uh, coaches who may not have ever thought it was possible, 461 00:29:31,070 --> 00:29:34,730 but gave me a chance to start slow and grow and get, 462 00:29:34,750 --> 00:29:39,650 and become who it was that I would end up being and gave me a 463 00:29:39,650 --> 00:29:42,200 chance to become whole again. And, um, 464 00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:46,680 and I'm very thankful for each and every one of those people, because they're, 465 00:29:47,230 --> 00:29:51,080 they're responsible for my healing in many ways. And, you know, 466 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:55,120 they have long since maybe have passed and or, or gone in my life, you know, or, 467 00:29:55,140 --> 00:29:56,040 you know, life changes. 468 00:29:56,220 --> 00:30:00,890 But they made a difference to some young boy back in 469 00:30:01,090 --> 00:30:03,130 1987 to 1993. 470 00:30:03,710 --> 00:30:07,690 And that young boy is now a grown man who is, uh, 471 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:08,890 very thankful for it. 472 00:30:09,780 --> 00:30:14,680 You spoke of your ability to compartmentalize and not really 473 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:18,680 think about the emotional or maybe the p t ss D of it all, 474 00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:21,360 and that as an adult, you were 475 00:30:22,950 --> 00:30:26,540 faced with that and having to understand it and what it was. 476 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,940 How did that catharsis come about? 477 00:30:30,610 --> 00:30:34,900 Well, you just, um, the thing about it is, as a kid, 478 00:30:35,850 --> 00:30:39,060 when you're on a football field, okay? 479 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:44,660 And you are faced with adrenaline rushes, okay? 480 00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:47,980 It's a good thing, right? You know, when, 481 00:30:48,090 --> 00:30:52,980 when you're going through physical therapy and you're having to reach your arms 482 00:30:52,990 --> 00:30:56,900 above your head and hands and break the skin under your under to just to 483 00:30:57,020 --> 00:30:57,980 straighten up and to stand, 484 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:03,340 and you go through these massive adrenaline rushes and tears are coming in 485 00:31:03,340 --> 00:31:07,260 your eyes, and people are celebrating that, right? They're like, wow, 486 00:31:07,290 --> 00:31:11,260 look how strong this kid is. You know? Now, as an adult, 487 00:31:11,490 --> 00:31:16,180 when you're going through stressful moments and this adrenaline comes out, 488 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:20,100 and you, and that same adrenaline rush happens, 489 00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:24,830 it's all of a sudden manifests itself in terms of anger or depression, 490 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,060 and you don't know how to handle it. 491 00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:31,180 Sometimes the switch goes off and you're in a moment, you're like, 492 00:31:31,210 --> 00:31:34,980 what is going on here? Okay. And so, you know, 493 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,500 you have to be reflective. 494 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:41,980 And I can say that I am reflective now going through such trauma. 495 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:46,380 You can't, you have to learn to, at one point, you have to say to yourself, 496 00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:53,640 I forgive myself for what I went through. I forgive God for what I went through. 497 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:58,840 I forgive my parents for what I went through. I forgive all the pers, uh, 498 00:31:58,940 --> 00:32:00,920 the, the pro. And then only then, 499 00:32:01,380 --> 00:32:05,720 and only then can you start to find some peace. Now, 500 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,840 when you also recognize that this is a part of your character, like I have, 501 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,600 I can't say that I don't have P T S D because it's not, 502 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,720 I don't choose to just, like, if you have a broken leg, you can't say, ah, 503 00:32:18,860 --> 00:32:22,520 you know, I no longer have a broke, uh, my leg iss not broke. 504 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,280 I can't hope myself out of there. Okay? 505 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:29,720 But what I can do is understand the circumstance and understand that, 506 00:32:30,540 --> 00:32:33,830 you know, someone faced with such trauma, 507 00:32:35,140 --> 00:32:39,440 now their brain lets off different chemicals in different 508 00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:44,480 situations, that you have to understand that and know how to dial yourself back. 509 00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:50,440 So it's a lifetime struggle. And I'm not here to say that, you know, 510 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:54,440 I have better control today, and I have, and I'm, and I'm a good human being. 511 00:32:54,620 --> 00:32:57,200 I'm a loving husband and father. And, 512 00:32:57,620 --> 00:33:01,360 but I'm here to also say that when you, that people, 513 00:33:02,140 --> 00:33:07,120 we go through things, we have to learn to understand ourselves, cope and, 514 00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:11,000 and understand that, hey, I am who I am, 515 00:33:11,860 --> 00:33:16,360 and I have to keep myself in a position where I am 516 00:33:16,690 --> 00:33:20,480 being good to people always. And, and I accept myself, 517 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,800 and I see those situations. 518 00:33:21,830 --> 00:33:25,360 When I start to get a little bit nervous or stressed, 519 00:33:25,740 --> 00:33:30,200 that's when I walk away, you know? That's when I feel that moment coming on. 520 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,400 That's when I get out of the conversation. 521 00:33:33,070 --> 00:33:37,520 When I feel that s that's when I remove myself from the relationship. 522 00:33:38,140 --> 00:33:42,080 And that's just, um, and that's, and so now at the age of 48, 523 00:33:42,180 --> 00:33:47,080 I'm able to deal with things a lot better than I was maybe when I was, uh, 25, 524 00:33:47,580 --> 00:33:48,520 you know? So. 525 00:33:49,020 --> 00:33:53,680 Do you get the phantom fingers that people talk about who lose 526 00:33:53,810 --> 00:33:55,280 limbs? Do you feel any of that? 527 00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:59,880 Um, not really. You know, they, I did earlier in my life. I, 528 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,640 I had maybe some feelings, but, you know, I'm an athlete, you know, 529 00:34:03,660 --> 00:34:07,400 so I could catch a ball. Uh, I could, I put a glove on my hand, 530 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,720 I could play catch with my son. 531 00:34:09,110 --> 00:34:11,960 That was one of the most beautiful healing moments of my life. 532 00:34:12,070 --> 00:34:14,560 When first time I put on a glove with him when he was seven, 533 00:34:15,630 --> 00:34:18,910 and just playing catch normal at this point, you know, 534 00:34:19,250 --> 00:34:23,860 36 years removed from my accident, it's, uh, 535 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:28,530 you know, my left hand is, it's pretty, I'm pretty good. I mean, 536 00:34:28,530 --> 00:34:33,170 I could hit a golf ball, 250 yards, you know? And, um, you know, 537 00:34:33,310 --> 00:34:37,410 and I have had some, some really good blessings in terms of, 538 00:34:37,590 --> 00:34:42,210 of learning about myself, uh, what my capabilities and limitations are. 539 00:34:43,030 --> 00:34:43,590 Um, 540 00:34:43,590 --> 00:34:48,410 and learning how to dial that energy that is, 541 00:34:48,910 --> 00:34:52,850 is, uh, that drove me. Because people either have a fight or a flight instinct, 542 00:34:52,850 --> 00:34:55,370 right? You know, that's, that's who we are. 543 00:34:55,370 --> 00:34:58,170 When we're faced with adversity and trauma, 544 00:34:58,310 --> 00:35:01,610 we either are gonna fight or we're gonna run. Okay? 545 00:35:02,070 --> 00:35:03,370 Why have a fight mentality? 546 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:08,130 When you have that and you learn how 547 00:35:08,790 --> 00:35:12,490 to dial it into your business endeavors, to, 548 00:35:12,950 --> 00:35:16,490 to control it in the way that you approach your work environment, 549 00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:20,610 and you live with passion and your relationships and the way that you raise your 550 00:35:20,610 --> 00:35:22,410 kids and the way that you teach them, 551 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:27,090 that is a difference maker in other people's lives. 552 00:35:27,950 --> 00:35:32,650 So earlier in my life, when I didn't have that control of, 553 00:35:33,190 --> 00:35:37,480 of my own emotions and di earlier in that day, 554 00:35:37,540 --> 00:35:41,400 in those days, it would be a negative consequence. 555 00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:44,360 But now pushing things and, 556 00:35:44,420 --> 00:35:48,440 and understanding how to live with one hand and understanding how to deal with, 557 00:35:48,820 --> 00:35:51,040 uh, the things that I've dealt with now, it's, 558 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,240 it's really fueled a lot of the growth I've had in my life and that I share with 559 00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:56,073 other people. 560 00:35:56,110 --> 00:36:00,160 When Halloween comes around, do you find yourself getting more anxious? 561 00:36:00,260 --> 00:36:03,160 Or are you now at a point where it doesn't affect you? Like that. 562 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:07,040 I did for years. Yeah, I really did, honestly, and, 563 00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:11,480 and it was through writing this book that, that really, uh, 564 00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:16,520 that changed my perspective. I shed so many tears in writing this book. 565 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,080 I mean, if you, if you've read the book, um, 566 00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:23,880 it is a really detailed analysis of 567 00:36:23,930 --> 00:36:26,760 everything that I went through. So you read it, it's a sin. 568 00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:30,240 You can almost feel the pain at times, and you could, 569 00:36:30,460 --> 00:36:34,960 you can almost feel what it was like to go through everything. And, 570 00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:40,320 and you realize how raw it was that my writing is raw 571 00:36:40,340 --> 00:36:43,720 and you feel it. Well, when I was writing it in that fashion, 572 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:45,640 I also felt it, 573 00:36:46,090 --> 00:36:50,160 which would cause tears to come down my face almost every day for two years. 574 00:36:50,870 --> 00:36:54,360 Very lucky to have people that I worked with on the process that, 575 00:36:54,590 --> 00:36:56,360 that helped me. And, and, uh, 576 00:36:57,100 --> 00:37:02,000 and it was in tackling that process that I started to recognize these 577 00:37:02,030 --> 00:37:06,480 days, this Halloween day as a different, as different. 578 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:10,720 Instead of it being the worst day, it gave birth to this new me. 579 00:37:11,270 --> 00:37:15,800 Okay? Um, that day is the day that I went through a metamorphosis. Uh, 580 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:20,400 a lot of 12 year olds transfer or go through puberty or at that 581 00:37:20,740 --> 00:37:23,760 age, and they go from a, a boy to a man, 582 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:28,560 or a young girl to a young woman, and, and their bodies change. 583 00:37:28,620 --> 00:37:31,960 And they, mine was just so pronounced, okay, 584 00:37:32,590 --> 00:37:34,760 that now I feel that it's a gift. 585 00:37:35,430 --> 00:37:39,600 It's a gift that I get to talk to other burn patients and other people who've 586 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:43,760 gone, gone through, uh, serious accidents, injuries, uh, 587 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,360 people who've battled addiction, 588 00:37:45,580 --> 00:37:48,440 people who've gone through the loss of a loved one, or, 589 00:37:48,780 --> 00:37:53,080 or somebody who's just building a business in his face in a really hard time, 590 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:54,280 getting where they wanna be. 591 00:37:54,780 --> 00:37:59,600 And I get to tell them and inspire them and talk to them about 592 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:03,600 what my own dilemmas were, my psychological, physical, 593 00:38:04,260 --> 00:38:07,320 all the dilemmas were. I get to be honest with them. 594 00:38:07,780 --> 00:38:11,320 And I get to tell them that, look, there's another side, okay? 595 00:38:11,590 --> 00:38:15,280 There's another side to this. Okay? There's a place that you're gonna be, 596 00:38:15,380 --> 00:38:19,040 you're gonna go, and here's how you get there. Here's your roadmap. 597 00:38:19,580 --> 00:38:20,800 And that I found that, 598 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:25,720 that that's why now being in this unique position where I can share these things 599 00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:28,520 and I could be a part of someone's life, and I could tell them, 600 00:38:28,590 --> 00:38:32,640 it's okay if you have P T s D, it's okay. If you feel like it. 601 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,400 Sometimes you're overwhelmed and you can't get yourself to calm down, it's okay. 602 00:38:36,430 --> 00:38:41,360 Because now that you understand that you can now have the ability to master 603 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:44,280 that and use it for positive change in your life. And that, 604 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,120 I feel that that's a real blessing to have that, to sit in that seat. 605 00:38:47,820 --> 00:38:49,950 Yeah. And the book is called Against All Odds. 606 00:38:50,610 --> 00:38:53,830 Yes. And it's against all odds. A, uh, 607 00:38:54,590 --> 00:38:59,550 a story of faith, courage, and never giving up. And it's a, 608 00:38:59,660 --> 00:39:04,360 it's just an amazing book. When you read it, I think that you will just love it. 609 00:39:04,420 --> 00:39:07,920 We were very fortunate to be published by Wiley, a, 610 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:12,560 a large international publishing company. I was very fortunate to meet, uh, 611 00:39:12,860 --> 00:39:17,320 you know, lady named, uh, Charlie Fusco, uh, who's my literary agent, 612 00:39:17,340 --> 00:39:22,200 and I now consider her my mentor. Uh, she taught me so much about, 613 00:39:22,780 --> 00:39:27,120 uh, having gratitude and, and the way that when you start to think about, 614 00:39:27,860 --> 00:39:30,200 uh, you know, you let go of that, uh, 615 00:39:30,710 --> 00:39:34,000 unforgiveness and you start to believe and, 616 00:39:34,420 --> 00:39:38,240 and be thankful and have gratitude for all the things in your life as your 617 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:41,040 perspective changes. And, and those are, uh, 618 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,600 these are all very positive lessons. And, you know, and it's just beautiful. 619 00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:48,520 What, what comes outta writing, the writing this book. But, you know, 620 00:39:48,580 --> 00:39:53,440 the stories that are coming back to me now of the conversations that I'm having 621 00:39:53,510 --> 00:39:57,360 with people who are calling me and saying, I read your book. 622 00:39:57,660 --> 00:40:01,120 I'm getting messages on LinkedIn. I'm getting messages on Facebook, 623 00:40:01,620 --> 00:40:05,720 I'm getting messages on Instagram, random emails from my website, uh, 624 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,960 telephone calls to my business where I'll be on the phone with someone I never 625 00:40:10,020 --> 00:40:14,880 met for an hour or more, talking about this story and how it affected them. 626 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,680 I was talking to a guy yesterday, he is a president of a, a title company in, 627 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:22,240 in North Carolina. He called me, he says, listen, he goes, 628 00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:26,680 when I read the story about your dad saying, looking in your eyes and saying, 629 00:40:26,750 --> 00:40:31,190 take my strength, it crushed me. He said, it broke me, 630 00:40:31,190 --> 00:40:34,430 is the words he used, because I could just see my son in, 631 00:40:34,530 --> 00:40:36,350 in having that moment with him. And, 632 00:40:36,770 --> 00:40:40,550 and it just showed me the importance of being a good dad. You know? 633 00:40:40,570 --> 00:40:45,150 And then I had another guy call me who, you know, he told me, listen, 634 00:40:45,450 --> 00:40:48,550 he goes, I read your book, and I gotta tell you that I, 635 00:40:48,990 --> 00:40:51,270 I grew up in a good family in a middle class neighborhood, 636 00:40:51,270 --> 00:40:54,670 but then I found myself on drugs. He found, I, 637 00:40:54,830 --> 00:40:58,590 I found myself addicted to, to pain medication. He goes, 638 00:40:58,610 --> 00:41:03,190 and pretty soon I was living at the, uh, at the shelter. I had a garbage bag, 639 00:41:03,310 --> 00:41:08,270 full clothes. He goes, I looked myself up. I said, where am I? He goes, 640 00:41:08,410 --> 00:41:12,620 now, today I make $150,000 a year. 641 00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:16,500 I'm a partner of two different businesses. I'm married with two kids. He goes, 642 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,020 and I came from that addiction to this place, 643 00:41:19,020 --> 00:41:22,740 and I read your story and all those, your story's different. 644 00:41:23,260 --> 00:41:28,100 I identify with what you went through in such a profound way, you know, 645 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:31,620 and I can just go on and on and on about the conversation. I had a lady call, 646 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,680 she said that she lost her husband. Her husband was a teacher, 647 00:41:36,140 --> 00:41:40,120 and her husband was her life. And, and she loved him so much, 648 00:41:40,140 --> 00:41:42,600 but saw him suffering for so many years. He could hardly eat. 649 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,160 He had a feeding tube in. And she said that, reading your story, 650 00:41:46,300 --> 00:41:50,120 it gave me hope on understanding that there was a spirit that saved you. 651 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,720 Your pain helped me to, in my faith, 652 00:41:52,740 --> 00:41:54,760 to understand that my husband's in the right place. 653 00:41:55,220 --> 00:41:57,640 And that if I can just live through and adapt that, 654 00:41:57,750 --> 00:41:59,680 that my life is gonna be better too. So, 655 00:41:59,940 --> 00:42:04,400 having the opportunity to write this book against all odds and share this 656 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,080 message of hope with people and, and tell, and they get that, 657 00:42:08,900 --> 00:42:11,080 and it's just very, very special. 658 00:42:12,190 --> 00:42:16,080 It's hard to believe people can endure the things that they endure and get to 659 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:16,913 the other side, 660 00:42:17,140 --> 00:42:21,680 and with you to get to the other side and have so much understanding 661 00:42:22,020 --> 00:42:25,160 of, of yourself, and, uh, 662 00:42:25,180 --> 00:42:30,080 be able to articulate it in a way that it leads others 663 00:42:30,260 --> 00:42:33,320 to that same kind of peace. It's really, 664 00:42:34,020 --> 00:42:36,080 it makes you wonder about the whole web of things. 665 00:42:37,820 --> 00:42:40,950 It's true, because it, you know, the, the fact of the matter is, 666 00:42:40,970 --> 00:42:43,670 is that I'm just a, uh, 667 00:42:44,290 --> 00:42:48,390 I'm just a guy who was born in a small town in western Pennsylvania. 668 00:42:49,490 --> 00:42:53,150 Um, my mom, when I was growing up, was a beautician. 669 00:42:53,210 --> 00:42:57,950 She made $300 a week, okay? My mom and dad went through a, a terrible divorce, 670 00:42:58,330 --> 00:43:02,830 and they loved each other, but they couldn't be married to each other, right? I, 671 00:43:02,970 --> 00:43:07,230 I'm just a kid who grew up wanting to play football. And truthfully, 672 00:43:07,290 --> 00:43:10,310 I'm no special than more special than any other person on this planet. 673 00:43:10,730 --> 00:43:12,390 I'm just a human being, you know? 674 00:43:12,810 --> 00:43:16,710 And I was just faced with some extraordinary circumstances, 675 00:43:17,570 --> 00:43:21,710 and I was given this blessing and grace by God of, of healing, 676 00:43:22,810 --> 00:43:24,990 you know? And through it all, 677 00:43:25,390 --> 00:43:29,510 I felt many times I felt yesterday, okay, 678 00:43:29,750 --> 00:43:33,950 I felt today, okay, I will fail. That's what I, 679 00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:38,190 that life is all about. So I can't say that, you know, 680 00:43:38,190 --> 00:43:42,110 this journey is over or has even been perfect from here on out. 681 00:43:42,450 --> 00:43:45,990 But I could say the lessons that I've learned is that we all fall down. 682 00:43:46,570 --> 00:43:50,030 And the idea that our government leaders are perfect, 683 00:43:50,250 --> 00:43:53,630 or the people in the public eye are perfect, or, 684 00:43:53,970 --> 00:43:57,510 or these people live these per, it's not true. None of it's true. 685 00:43:58,050 --> 00:44:02,830 What's true is they fall every day that you get up every day and you 686 00:44:02,830 --> 00:44:06,750 fight again. And you know, we're all gonna have battles. 687 00:44:06,750 --> 00:44:10,030 And every time you step up to that next level in life, 688 00:44:10,460 --> 00:44:15,110 there's a new set of challenges for you that awaits you. 689 00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:18,950 And when you start to walk, and God's will in your life, 690 00:44:19,690 --> 00:44:23,710 and you start to walk, and you want, and, and the universe is destiny, 691 00:44:23,850 --> 00:44:26,390 and who you are in your best life, 692 00:44:27,130 --> 00:44:32,000 you start to walk the way of, of Christ, or, or, or, or God, 693 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,680 the Father, however you wanna pronounce it. When you start to walk that way, 694 00:44:36,530 --> 00:44:39,560 lemme tell you something, that's when it gets a lot harder. 695 00:44:40,220 --> 00:44:42,160 That's when the temptations are greater, 696 00:44:42,660 --> 00:44:47,520 that's when it's easier to give into your own selfish desires 697 00:44:47,580 --> 00:44:48,413 and wants. 698 00:44:49,060 --> 00:44:53,600 So it's not that you ever arrive to this point in your life where, 699 00:44:54,020 --> 00:44:58,080 oh, I am so enlightened. At least I haven't gotten there. Okay, 700 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,200 I hope to get there someday. But it's, 701 00:45:01,340 --> 00:45:05,040 you don't reach this point where you're so enlightened that you no longer feel 702 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:09,120 sadness, or you no longer feel anger, or you never talk outta line, 703 00:45:09,220 --> 00:45:10,053 or you never, 704 00:45:10,340 --> 00:45:15,000 but what happens is you now get to this place where you have 705 00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:19,080 a little bit of remorse when you feel, when you said something the wrong way, 706 00:45:19,540 --> 00:45:22,560 or you have a little bit of, uh, of, of, 707 00:45:22,780 --> 00:45:24,960 of gravity to your stuff that says, you know, 708 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:30,120 I have to reflect on what I did and said in that moment. And, you know, 709 00:45:30,220 --> 00:45:34,960 if you can't check yourself in this world and you can't check, uh, 710 00:45:34,990 --> 00:45:39,160 your own work and your own and your own behavior, and, 711 00:45:39,260 --> 00:45:42,560 and the work environment, the athletic field, no matter where you are, 712 00:45:43,150 --> 00:45:46,720 then somebody's gonna have to check you. You know? And that's the way it is. 713 00:45:46,740 --> 00:45:48,520 And so, you know, that's a, 714 00:45:48,530 --> 00:45:51,960 those are a lot of the lessons that you learn along the way. And I, 715 00:45:52,060 --> 00:45:53,720 I'm committed to a lifetime of learning, 716 00:45:53,980 --> 00:45:56,920 and I hope that the listeners out there, uh, will, 717 00:45:56,990 --> 00:46:01,580 will pick up my book and they'll read it, because number one, it will help you. 718 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,860 And number two, it's, it sends a message. And number three, 719 00:46:06,670 --> 00:46:11,500 every time somebody reads a story, I could feel it in a way. And, 720 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:15,980 uh, and it also helps a little bit of my healing. So I'm given to you, 721 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,420 but when you're reading this, you're given back to me, 722 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,340 and that's something that I'm very thankful for. 723 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:26,340 Did you experience in, I know that you died or came close to death, 724 00:46:26,530 --> 00:46:29,140 near death experience during the ordeal. 725 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:33,620 Did you have any memory of that? Did you see anything or, 726 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:35,740 or talk to anyone during that time? 727 00:46:37,290 --> 00:46:41,580 Well, it's almost, uh, surreal to talk about, okay? Because, 728 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:47,460 you know, you just don't, it's, it's hard to wrap your head around, 729 00:46:48,130 --> 00:46:50,700 okay? I remember when I was on fire, 730 00:46:50,860 --> 00:46:54,340 I had a moment where there was an extreme peace that came over me, 731 00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:59,060 and I remember feeling and seeing myself, okay? 732 00:47:00,970 --> 00:47:05,730 I, I don't know how to explain it. Did I have an out-of-body experience? Does, 733 00:47:05,870 --> 00:47:10,410 did my brain just remember it that way? Because it was so profound, 734 00:47:11,450 --> 00:47:15,650 I couldn't testify to either of those things and say that I know with 735 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,033 certainty, 736 00:47:17,690 --> 00:47:21,290 I was in the middle of being on fire burning at a thousand degrees, 737 00:47:21,670 --> 00:47:25,650 and my recollection of it is clear that the pain went away. 738 00:47:25,650 --> 00:47:29,780 And I remember seeing myself, but I never looked in the face of God, 739 00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,500 but I felt God's presence. 740 00:47:32,500 --> 00:47:36,250 I also remember when I was in the hospital, 741 00:47:37,030 --> 00:47:38,450 having moments where 742 00:47:40,230 --> 00:47:44,830 it felt like I was walking around the hospital. 743 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:49,780 And it came up later in life where when I was released from the hospital, 744 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,700 um, my mom and I would've to go back often, and, 745 00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:57,060 and I'd have to find my doctor's office, which was in the hospital, 746 00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:02,180 or we'd walk. It was a big hospital, and I knew my way around . Okay? 747 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,340 So, and my mom and I talk about this with, I don't know how to explain it, 748 00:48:05,340 --> 00:48:08,700 because I'm not crazy, okay? Number one, 749 00:48:09,240 --> 00:48:13,940 and I never had a moment where, you know, I was approached by an angel. 750 00:48:14,140 --> 00:48:16,740 I n never had a moment where I looked in the face of God. 751 00:48:16,900 --> 00:48:19,860 I never had a moment where my grandfather or grandmother came. 752 00:48:20,010 --> 00:48:20,860 That never happened. 753 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:25,420 But I had moments of peace and quiet and, 754 00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:30,880 and, and in then there was an enormous amount of peace, okay? 755 00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:35,280 I didn't rise up. I wasn't in the heavens. I, but there was amount of peace, 756 00:48:35,710 --> 00:48:40,280 okay? In this moment of affliction that is almost unexplainable. 757 00:48:40,780 --> 00:48:45,380 So whether you wanna attribute it to a special 758 00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:50,740 spirit or, or however you want to, to reconcile it, 759 00:48:51,580 --> 00:48:54,900 I don't think that it really matters, because in the end, 760 00:48:55,010 --> 00:48:59,580 what we learn is that in our most 761 00:48:59,850 --> 00:49:04,100 pain, when we're going through the hardest moment of our life, 762 00:49:04,610 --> 00:49:05,780 when we are on, 763 00:49:06,650 --> 00:49:10,100 have one foot on the side of the fence of death, 764 00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:13,980 and one foot on the side of the fence of life, okay? 765 00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:18,100 If you feel a peace in that moment, 766 00:49:19,130 --> 00:49:21,140 then you can rest assure 767 00:49:22,770 --> 00:49:26,020 that there is a greater force 768 00:49:27,550 --> 00:49:31,840 than just the skin that you're living in. Now, 769 00:49:33,330 --> 00:49:36,570 I came to this conclusion through my faith, 770 00:49:37,230 --> 00:49:41,890 but I also have this recognition that 771 00:49:42,110 --> 00:49:45,330 my life was not saved for me, okay? 772 00:49:47,230 --> 00:49:51,890 My life was saved so that my children could be born. 773 00:49:53,910 --> 00:49:58,330 And there is no other reason that my life would've been saved, 774 00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:02,170 okay? Because if God took me, and if I died at that moment, 775 00:50:03,270 --> 00:50:05,920 then I would've went to heaven, and I would've had eternal peace. 776 00:50:06,990 --> 00:50:07,840 Mark Twain said, 777 00:50:07,900 --> 00:50:12,000 I'm not afraid of death because I was dead for billions of years before I was 778 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,360 alive. And no harm to me was done in that moment. 779 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:17,620 So if I had died, 780 00:50:17,980 --> 00:50:22,420 I would've been in a moment of peace for, for the rest of time. 781 00:50:23,650 --> 00:50:27,030 So if God wanted me to have that moment of peace, 782 00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,280 he could've let me have it then. 783 00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,300 But the only thing tangible that has come from me, 784 00:50:33,300 --> 00:50:37,640 from my flesh and blood that will live on are my children. 785 00:50:39,100 --> 00:50:40,640 So it was for them, 786 00:50:41,870 --> 00:50:46,760 because if I was passed and they would buy definition not be 787 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:50,940 around today. So it was their lives that came through me. 788 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:53,620 And so I understand, 789 00:50:53,810 --> 00:50:58,560 I've come to a lot of different understandings here through the course of, 790 00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:00,680 of writing my book. And through the course of my life, 791 00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:04,320 I struggled substantially with my parents' divorce, okay? 792 00:51:05,380 --> 00:51:10,000 And it was always a, a, a hard thing to deal with. Now, 793 00:51:10,780 --> 00:51:15,200 my mother, Janet, who is just this very strong person, 794 00:51:15,300 --> 00:51:18,560 she was the baby of her family. Well, in 1977, 795 00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:22,200 her father died when she was just 29 years old, okay? 796 00:51:23,220 --> 00:51:27,640 And 1984, my mother and father broke up, 797 00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,600 and it just devastated my mother. 798 00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:34,760 I now recognize that my mother being the baby in her family, 799 00:51:34,820 --> 00:51:36,680 and I've been able to communicate this to her, 800 00:51:37,590 --> 00:51:41,200 that if she did not lose her father in 1977, 801 00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:47,710 then she would never have been able to keep her sanity through 802 00:51:48,250 --> 00:51:53,020 the, her the loss of her marriage in 1984. Now, 803 00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:57,020 my mother and father have a, a love, they talk on the phone every day together, 804 00:51:57,530 --> 00:51:59,700 okay? To this day, they love each other, they're best of friends. 805 00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:05,980 But I also have recognized that God knew I 806 00:52:05,980 --> 00:52:07,220 was gonna go through this accident, 807 00:52:08,470 --> 00:52:11,970 but if my mother didn't lose her husband and her father 808 00:52:13,390 --> 00:52:14,223 and her mother, 809 00:52:14,230 --> 00:52:18,930 she would've never had this ability to get on her knees while I was in the 810 00:52:19,250 --> 00:52:24,240 hospital and say to God, listen, God, you took my father, my, 811 00:52:24,300 --> 00:52:27,560 you took my marriage. You allowed that to end. You took my mother. 812 00:52:27,980 --> 00:52:30,480 You can't have my son. I need him. 813 00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:33,700 And it was with that power, 814 00:52:34,130 --> 00:52:36,980 that powerful prayer that I cannot lose anymore, 815 00:52:37,530 --> 00:52:42,450 that opened up the ears of God to save my life in a situation 816 00:52:42,450 --> 00:52:47,430 that was unexplainable. And I know that my father, 817 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,990 who's my best friend, we've had our times where we weren't, 818 00:52:50,990 --> 00:52:54,870 but he's my best friend. He's the strongest man I know on the planet, okay? 819 00:52:55,410 --> 00:52:59,710 He is. But I know for certain that my father, 820 00:52:59,890 --> 00:53:04,270 if he didn't have that little bit of guilt saying, ah, you know, 821 00:53:04,310 --> 00:53:07,150 I wish I wouldn't have left. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I was, 822 00:53:07,290 --> 00:53:09,710 if our marriage didn't break, if he, 823 00:53:09,970 --> 00:53:14,230 he wouldn't have been able to ski on his knees with the same authority and to 824 00:53:14,230 --> 00:53:18,770 say, God, I know I made a mistake, but don't cost, 825 00:53:19,020 --> 00:53:20,690 don't let this boy lose his life. 826 00:53:21,590 --> 00:53:24,970 He wouldn't have been able to pray the same prayer and give me the same 827 00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:26,193 strength, 828 00:53:26,830 --> 00:53:31,690 and them coming together to love me in that emergency room wouldn't have 829 00:53:31,690 --> 00:53:34,210 meant as much if it was a daily dinner. 830 00:53:35,650 --> 00:53:39,390 So what I learned is all the suffering that we go through in our lives, 831 00:53:39,690 --> 00:53:44,430 all that suffering is building us for a moment that 832 00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:49,150 we're gonna need in the future, a strength that we're gonna need to rely upon, 833 00:53:49,490 --> 00:53:53,030 or an ability to call on God in a way 834 00:53:54,210 --> 00:53:58,380 that we couldn't, had we not gone through that suffering. 835 00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:04,180 And I've learned that which made me able to forgive 836 00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:08,060 for the divorce and forgive for the loss, 837 00:54:08,530 --> 00:54:11,580 because now I realize that in my own suffering, 838 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:15,740 I'm able to be here with you. And I'm able to sit here and say, 839 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:17,940 I'm still standing. 840 00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,620 And give you the strength to know that no matter what you've gone through, 841 00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:27,340 no matter what suffering it is, you are still standing. 842 00:54:27,720 --> 00:54:31,980 And if you're out there hearing me feeling bad about your circumstance, 843 00:54:31,980 --> 00:54:35,300 feeling bad about that breakup, feeling bad about that addiction, 844 00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,300 you're feeling bad about the losses that you had in your life, 845 00:54:38,530 --> 00:54:42,460 just understand your, you are still standing, 846 00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,940 and that's the power and suffering. So it's not otherworldly. 847 00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,500 It may be from within, but let me tell you something, 848 00:54:50,770 --> 00:54:54,420 it's true and it's righteous and it's correct. Forgive everyone. 849 00:54:54,420 --> 00:54:57,980 You can be glad for every circumstance you had, 850 00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,220 be thankful for all that you're given, 851 00:55:02,590 --> 00:55:07,410 and you could move on and you can tell the story. I'm still standing. 852 00:55:07,870 --> 00:55:10,260 And on that note, just never give up. 853 00:55:11,230 --> 00:55:13,000 Tell everyone where they may find you. 854 00:55:13,950 --> 00:55:17,200 Well, you could, um, go to our website is uh, 855 00:55:18,100 --> 00:55:20,520 www.anthonyano.com, 856 00:55:21,020 --> 00:55:24,400 and that's a n t h o n y, ano, 857 00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:29,480 R A Z Z A N o. Here's my, my book. Here's the, the correct spelling. 858 00:55:29,740 --> 00:55:30,410 Uh, again. 859 00:55:30,410 --> 00:55:32,400 Still odds they can't see it 'cause the audio podcast. 860 00:55:33,140 --> 00:55:37,970 Oh, okay. Okay, okay. Okay. It's on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, uh, 861 00:55:37,970 --> 00:55:42,860 Walmart Target, you could buy it on my website. Um, I'm sure the, 862 00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:46,300 the website again is www dot anthony ano, 863 00:55:46,740 --> 00:55:50,220 a n t h o n y r a z z a n o.com. 864 00:55:50,720 --> 00:55:51,620 And you have an Instagram. 865 00:55:52,500 --> 00:55:57,340 I have an Instagram, Anthony dot ano, I got a, you could visit, uh, my Facebook, 866 00:55:57,370 --> 00:56:00,540 Anthony Ano and I have a, uh, insta uh, 867 00:56:00,660 --> 00:56:02,500 a Facebook page against the Odds as well. 868 00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:06,220 And I'll put links to everything on hey human podcast.com, 869 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:10,420 so it's easy for people to get to if they need. Thank you for listening, 870 00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:15,260 everyone. This is a real special episode. Uh, it's a good reminder. 871 00:56:16,300 --> 00:56:21,260 I think all of us are going through something and it's 872 00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:22,900 so hard to remember to, 873 00:56:22,900 --> 00:56:27,240 to hang in there and that we can get back up again, 874 00:56:27,700 --> 00:56:30,440 you know, fall down nine, get up 10. 875 00:56:31,740 --> 00:56:33,320 So thank you for being on the show. 876 00:56:34,170 --> 00:56:36,440 Thank you. I've really loved it. 877 00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:41,440 This is actually one of the best experiences that I've had on a podcast. Yes, 878 00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:45,640 I podcast. I just find that, uh, you're outstanding. And, um, 879 00:56:46,220 --> 00:56:48,840 and if there's anything I could ever do for you, please let me know. 880 00:56:49,130 --> 00:56:50,480 Thank you so much, Anthony. 881 00:56:50,980 --> 00:56:53,880 All right, we'll talk soon. Take care. Bye-bye. Yeah. Bye bye. 882 00:56:56,670 --> 00:56:58,800 Rate review and subscribe to Hey, 883 00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:03,400 human on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, 884 00:57:04,060 --> 00:57:04,280 bye.