Welcome. You're listening to Kuan wood, sugar,
the podcast that pulls back the curtains in your mind.
We like to shed a little light on why you're thinking, what you're thinking.
Everyone has a choice in life, in what and how they think together.
We are going to focus on high functioning habits.
There is no more time to live with any sort of regret coulda Wooda sugar,
the inspirational podcast for the inspired let's get into today's show
with your host, Shelly R Shera.
Hello world, Shelley sheer here, and welcome to the show.
It has been a minute I've taken most of the summer off.
We were in our vacation, home in beautiful Penticton,
British Columbia for the better part of of a month.
And that is my happy place. And luckily just before we came home,
we have been house hunting up there because, uh,
it is time for a move we're about to enter into that next phase of our lives,
where we leave the busy, lower mainland of, uh, near Vancouver,
British Columbia and all it's crazy and move to a smaller town with
sunshine and a lake and a whole lot less rain.
So today I wanna talk about trust because let me tell you when you are going
through huge changes in your life,
or when there are things that you want to change,
trust is a large component of that process. Why?
Because you need to be aware and to trust the
process that what is meant for you will come for you.
And that is a really tough thing is a lot of people like, oh,
that sounds very woo. Woo. I mean, I just pray to God and I ask for what I want,
um, or, or I use law of attraction and I get what I want,
or I doesn't matter what I do. I never get what I want.
All of those things can be true because truth
is only real to you. So what is your truth?
Now? I struggle there.
I have an extraordinary large amount of faith. Overall.
I have disc realized in my life,
looked back on the years and realized that I do not
until I got sick and couldn't work.
Like I used to that really did change everything.
I have always distrusted that things would work out.
I was raised very strongly in a religious household. Um, I still have that,
that level of faith. And I do believe in God,
but I don't think it's the God that I thought it was.
I believe that is just part of the energetic, uh,
spiritual power that exists all around us. You know,
the world is made up of energy, not matter. Um, energy creates matter.
And then we in turn use matter.
Our being is energetic and spiritual.
Our body is energy, um, manifested as matter
when we accept those things and start realizing, you know,
we didn't know all what we thought we knew. I sort of have, you know,
I've said this before another podcast, religion is a great place to start.
It's a little like kindergarten.
So I have nothing against organized religion because I believe those truths
for, you know, do not lie. You know, don't cheat, don't steal,
don't sleep with your neighbor's wife or husband.
I believe in the good of the 10 commandments.
And I believe that that basis
is a strong basis for any person or any child being raised.
What I don't agree with. And even my mother who is, you know, such a,
a hard part of my growing up now with her dimension I've and I,
I know, I realize I've mentioned this as well, has a very different attitude.
And now that my father has passed, she feels free to voice some of that,
cuz she, you know, she's a 1960 housewife and you know,
it was daddy's way or the highway. Well, she realizes now that you know,
really is dancing really a sin. Are you really going to hell for that?
Um, you know, in her day and age, if you wore,
if you wore a lipstick and taught Sunday school, you were going to hell.
So we have all these manmade rules and regulations
and that's just control. Religion is just,
can be just another form of control.
So if you do not feel free and supported in your
belief structure, then I encourage you to take a really hard long look at it.
Uh, I live in a democratic country or I did,
that's pretty much going the way the Dodo bird right now in Canada,
but it won't, I, I pray without a war. It will not last.
We just happen to have very evil. Uh, and I do U I do not use that word lightly.
People are not awake in my country. They're not paying attention.
A large amount are alar, a large amount aren't but we actually have some,
some true evil manifesting in our government, our prime minister.
He does not work for the benefit of mankind or Canadians.
He has an ulterior agenda.
And his whole way of being is like gaslighting, everybody.
He preaches, uh,
division and hatred and segregation and, and then turns around and,
and says, we don't want those things in our country. So like I say, he is a,
just a brilliant example. And I think I'm using that term. Right. Right.
That's what gas lighting is,
where someone tells you something and that's wrong and tries to make
you believe that it's right. And that it's your fault. Yep. I did a,
I stopped the podcast and did a quick check to make sure I had that accurate,
but yes, it's where over a period of time, your psychologically, uh,
condition to be convinced that what you think is right is wrong and vice versa.
And, you know,
depending on the situation and it is psychologically, um,
evil, it's, it's a form of torture and it's, it's just wrong. It's,
it's no different than, uh, you know, having a narcissist in your family that,
uh, is, is damaging to the whole household where, you know,
you can be a narcissist and not necessarily always causing, uh,
pain and destruction all around you and all your relationships. Uh,
just if someone hasn't dealt with their own trauma than being a narcissist tends
to, to really be damaging not only to themselves,
but to every single person around them, because I hate to break this to you,
but it isn't all about you. , it's not all about me.
So it is very hard sometimes to trust when you see so much,
uh, just unfairness and,
and evil in the world and abuse and you know, mankind,
I'm not sure,
I believe in the whole concept anymore of being born into original sin.
It's a baby. What, you know, it's done nothing,
but I think sometimes we need to look back and say 2000
years ago when Christ lived and had his message and the dead sea scrolls
were discovered and, you know, dictated.
And I truly believe they are from God. You know, they're from a higher,
a higher sense of, of being,
but they were also written for a certain time in history. You know,
not the way we think of things now.
So perhaps laying out rules and regulations,
like that was very important for the mindset of the day,
because now we do understand when we talk about the sins of the fathers will be,
um, visited upon the sons and being born into original sin.
That isn't the fault of the child. I do not believe. I just believe that,
that we are just being warned, that that evil exists out there.
This is an innocent life that's being born into this world and they can be so
easily swayed by the evil around them and the sin around them.
Plus,
we have seen now energetically that stuff comes down through our DNA
and that is as well. I,
I did a podcast on this is how I believe that scripture comes from
where the sins of the father. I think it's where we need to do clearing work,
where we need to deal with our trauma.
That is what we need to be dealing with as human beings, not, you know,
kind of blaming some child that their father was, you know,
a murderer and that this child is gonna be the same way. No,
I just believe that there is hurt and trauma and energetic,
um, pain that does get passed down.
I could be wrong on that, but for where I am in my life and my belief structure.
Now, these are the things I'm questioning. Okay.
So trust can be very, very hard when there's a lot of change,
a lot of unknown.
And when you are questioning your belief structures,
and I encourage you to please question your belief structures,
don't think for a second,
that you weren't raised by people that didn't know what they were doing either.
Okay. Nine times outta 10. It's, it's just how it is.
I love teal Swan and her explanation when interviewed of why she does not
coach, uh, children. And she's a therapist why she doesn't,
uh, take on, uh, children. She says,
because they're usually in the room five minutes.
And I realize as the parents that need to be in the chair, opposite B,
it is so true. And if you are a parent, please be aware of this.
If you are a child, but an adult and have a parent like I have,
and a parent again,
realize it's your job to do the work because there's no point hanging
onto all that pain and, and trauma and trauma from your childhood.
Um, the Indian, uh,
with the big white beard and the turbine that does all the, uh, bag draw.
I, I, sorry, his name just left my brain, but I was watching, I follow him on,
um, on Instagram. And he's just so wise. He is so wise.
And he says, you know, when you were hurt as a child,
you are supposed to learn the lesson and move on. He said,
instead mankind as a whole,
we tend to hang onto it and develop
trauma and hurt. And we stop growing actually,
how he says it is when you are hurt as a child or anytime in your life,
you're supposed to gain wisdom. He said, instead we hang onto it and,
and hold onto trauma. Oh,
if we could teach our children that, you know, right from the get,
go open up conversation,
have these discussions as their,
as their awareness is raised and their wisdom is growing,
teach them that. It's just a lesson.
I talk about this with my granddaughter and I have for years,
cuz she's a little bit socially awkward.
And she really struggled with a couple of mean girls at school when she was kind
of in grade three, four and five. And I witnessed it I've,
I've looked after them or I've taken them somewhere. And these children,
some of them are just they're fickle and it was one of the popular
girls.
And they're just mean I watched the behavior in my own home and it was really
hard to watch that. And so when she came to me later, I said, sweetheart,
understand that how your friend treats you is her pain, not yours.
And you don't need to take that.
You need to have boundaries and not put up with that in your life.
You don't need a friend bad enough to be abused. You just don't. And luckily,
eventually yes, this, the, the friendship went the, the,
by the wayside and she has made new friends with new awareness.
Now that she's going into grade, uh, seven, I guess. Yes. Oh,
isn't it funny with our kids? We just, in our mind's eye,
there's still little kids. I will always look at pictures.
I will always look at her, but I will see the little girl that she was.
And you know, that helped me cook and dance with grandpa,
even though she is a tweenie now and is gonna be a teenager soon.
And in the blink of an eye will be an, an adult. It really is. Uh,
life is interesting.
So we are looking to make this change in our life,
but interest rates just tripled, um,
you know, almost in the last year.
So Canada's bank of Canada has raised interest rates to slow the housing market
down.
And really all they've done is put young people outta their homes and made it
impossible to buy a home. Uh, yes, our interest rates are too low. I,
I don't believe in this zero interest rate, money needs to make money,
but we have allowed a system to control us all for
so long that we're not really aware of what drives it anymore and where we sit
with all of it. So I had a $900 interest only payment in February,
and I have a $2,000 interest only payment now, you know, seven months later.
Um, last time I checked my income, didn't go up by a thousand dollars a month.
So there are ways to deal with these things.
That's not what this podcast is about, where,
where I'm taking you here is the trust factor.
So I panicked for a little bit for a couple weeks. It's like,
what are we going to do? I own property. Um,
I've inherited a piece of property, but cash flow is different.
So we have students that live in our basement or in our main floor.
We live upstairs.
We have a beautiful large home on two thirds of an acre right outside Vancouver.
Like we are so blessed. Uh, but the house was renovated many,
many years ago to include all these bedrooms and, and such downstairs.
Cause I think the owners have their grown children all living downstairs or you
know, late teenagers. So everyone just kind of wanted a little space. Well,
I've turned that into a revenue, uh, generating proposition.
So I'm so grateful that my house has those options,
but I'm also done with the big property of gardens and maintenance
and a dozen trees that, you know, have to be this property needs younger people,
uh,
or it needs someone with a bit more money that just has staff that just come in
a company comes in once a month and just does all this yard work.
So Keith and I are in a very different place in our life.
Now we're looking to downsize,
upgrade our live in home portion.
Like I want my beautiful kitchen back for my custom built home.
I did 15 years ago. You know,
I've lived in sort of this nine years now of being ill and seven years in this
house of, of it's not my love or joy. It just,
we were just grateful that the universe supplied for us,
but it's not what I love. Uh,
I enjoyed the first two years here, very much. We entertained the, you know,
large parties for the families and I love my gardening. It was my exercise,
but I am degenerating still. So now if I've got a little bit of energy,
I do not wanna be doing yard work. I wanna get on my e-bike.
I wanna go camping with my husband and take my dog swimming in the river or the
lake. I have very different requirements now,
but I do want inside. I want a beautiful home again. I'd like a, you know,
a nice big open floor plan. I'd like my nice designer kitchen back.
I don't need large. I just need comfortable my home.
I'm one of those nesting people. I have a lot of security in my home.
That's where I feel safe. And uh,
and it's kind of scary when your government puts all of that at risk because
they have a very different agenda of, you know,
you'll own nothing and you'll be happy. Well, you know what?
I like owning my house. Thank you very much.
And that all sounds great from a socialistic communist standpoint that we're all
even, and, but it never works out that way.
Cuz mankind is basically just greedy and unaware of their own bad
behavior.
So all that really happens in situations like this is the few that are wanting
to control,
gain wealth on everyone else's backs or kind of works the opposite sometimes
in history. If you watch history,
when they downtrodden fight a war against those that have
they become the oppressors, it happens 90% of the time.
As soon as those that feel that they have got a raw deal or they're being
marginalized, once they're in control,
they don't better mankind or the universe,
they just act like the tyrants that came before them and kept them downtrodden.
So can you see how we just aren't we're kind of on a durable wheel here of, um,
I just call it just basic stupidity, uh,
but it really can make it very hard to trust that there's things working
out in your favor or for the best now something else,
just as a little segue that I struggle with,
because I literally just had to delete like seven minutes of this podcast
because I went off on a tangent.
I get preachy it is in my nature. It it's how I was brought up.
Uh, there's a right way and a wrong way. And I just don't like that.
I was listening to coop Blackstone the other day and I just love how he phrases
things. He approaches it like, instead of saying,
don't do that or this is wrong. And this is right.
His attitude is what I strive to be.
Ask the question.
What if you looked at it from this standpoint,
what if it might work out better this way?
What if you let go of that expectation and that judgment?
I just love that language. What if,
because it is a heck of a lot easier to trust. Excuse me,
sorry that there is more for you. And when I say more in a,
you immediately went to money, you got some work to do, sorry.
There's no point being beat around the Bush on that one. Um,
you probably have some work to do because everything in life,
isn't always about the material.
I definitely want what I want, but I've worked hard for it.
So I'm going to transfer money is how life is
rewarded on this planet right now that may change in the future.
But right now it doesn't. So I earn money or have earned money.
I buy investments. Those investments do well.
Or I buy a home that home does well. I have assets, I have cash flow.
And then I have choices and options. Those things flow together,
but doesn't mean getting on a Juba wheel of, you know,
get an expensive education that you're never going to use and,
and go work for four weeks or two weeks vacation a year and, and,
and keep up with the Joneses to be in the better neighborhood and to have your
kids in the right schools. What did I watch? The other,
I watched a movie the other day and it was, it was literally insane. It was, oh,
the nanny , it was a comedy, but they did this.
It was very satirical on the, you know, the whole upper west side, I guess,
of New York and the attitudes of, you know, the money makers and, and how they,
you know, they just, it was all material, what school you're getting into.
I mean, right down to kindergarten, there was,
there was this couple that literally divorced in the movie because he lost his
mind cuz his son didn't get into whatever preschool she was supposed to be
prepping this child for. And it was embarrassing at work.
I'm sorry, can we just have a, are you freaking kidding me moment?
what if we encourage children to be children,
encourage them to think for themselves,
taught them consequences of actions,
taught them to have faith, how to attract,
how to treat others as they would like to be treated. Hmm,
Z this sounding a bit familiar.
So it definitely is easier to trust when you've got a good basis.
So if you're raising children right now,
your job is to garner wisdom for them.
And that does not mean protecting them from everything,
doing everything for them and paying for everything in their life,
because then the lessons aren't getting learned.
And without the lessons we don't grow as people.
How do you get wisdom by living in a bubble? Now I'm,
you're gonna laugh a little bit probably, but uh, my sister,
I'm gonna talk about my sister for a second. And um,
so if she ever listens to this, she can smack me later.
Most of my regular listeners know we lost my brother-in-law this past year and
it was devastating to the family,
but it is set my sister on a new path of learning things that she
has never learned because she lived in a bubble. So she's met her,
her husband when she was 16. Um, I was always the rebel.
So by 16,
I am 20 I'm already outta the house and doing my own thing.
Cause I didn't wanna tow the line. Like my parents wanted me to tow the line.
So Angela towed that line. So she had a lot of financial, um, uh,
benefits. She did not have massive dating,
broken heart trauma.
She had the benefits of a secure relationship right out of a young age and has
lived quite a charmed life.
But charmed and wisdom are not always on the same page they can be,
but often they're not because my life has prepared me now to be her
big sister, cuz she is literally in her early fifties,
stepping into my life that I had when I was 20 of the unknown and
single do I want a relationship? You know, what are people thinking?
What am I gonna do about, you know, money? What am I gonna do about my life?
What the, what the, what ifs, what am I?
The questions are all there for her now.
And I feel very honored and I use,
I say that very validly.
I feel very honored that our relationship has been meed this past two
years and that I'm able to be there for her through these quote, unquote,
some of them are tough times because she's never had to go through it before.
So there's no point me sitting back and going, haha,
karma told you so bow time you got yours.
Oh God know people that is that right up with the greed and all
that jazz. That is a human nature feeling that is so low
vibrational and is so three-dimensional if not lower. Um, it's not even funny.
So no, the goal is to forgive and forget and let go.
And then it's to be there to better.
The next person that's coming up behind you or the person that's beside you to
help with their life.
Why do you think I podcast so that we can have these discussions and I can help
people think, think for yourself, think for the situation you're in.
Think about the future. Think about the past,
do not live in anything but the present, but have goals and ambitions.
And don't forget while you make plans. God laughs you know,
you gotta have a little humor in all of this. I love making plans.
I'm a control freak. It just comes with the territory.
What I've had to learn is to let go of my plans because that's
just the deal.
I did not plan to get sick and lose my beautiful custom built home.
I loved my home. I did just,
it was everything I had dreamed for years to building.
And just in case you're imagining some mansion on no, no, no,
just little upper middle class.
It was custom designed for my wants and tastes and entertaining.
It was very specific to a segment of lifestyle that in our life
is much downsize. And when I say downs, I mean the entertaining,
I still love having people in my life and having them visit, uh,
and having a house in Penticton must have guest rooms,
but I do not need to entertain a hundred people at a time anymore. And I won't.
And I, I have no desire to whatsoever.
That was a fantastic phase in my life.
I enjoyed it to its fullest, but it's over now.
And I don't sit around living and regret that that phase is over anymore
because I have new loves now and I have new things I wanna be doing.
Stay open. If you're going to trust,
you have to stay open and let's go back to the seven pillows of high functioning
habits choice.
It starts with choice and everything comes after.
You wanna get educated about something, learn about something, let something go,
let go of trauma, learn to trust, meditate more, get in better shape,
lose some weight. Look after this temple that your spirit lives in.
You have to choose.
Then you can go find what you need to find to make it happen,
but you gotta choose.
And so often we run around subconsciously existing in this life.
So how about we lay a little trust out on onto the ground right now,
knowing that evil exists.
But I truly believe for the most part, when you watch history, we always,
what do we celebrate the defeat of evil, the win.
So this two shall pass. And that's a good thing to think about.
Even in minor things in your life, right up to having a corrupt government,
this too shall pass, have a great day everyone.
And I'll catch you on the flip side.
We really hope you enjoyed this episode of could wood should stay
connected with us directly through living well with shell.com and
Instagram at living well with shell. If you would like to speak with us,
please send us an email through Shelley living well with shell.com
and as always thank you for pushing your mindset towards a better reality.
This concludes the most thought provoking portion of your day. Thank you.
And remember willpower will only get you so far.
If you don't have a plan.