1 00:00:00,740 --> 00:00:06,326 The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog-ear that for now. 2 00:00:06,327 --> 00:00:14,180 This is comedy4cast, episode 880, Social Insecurity. 3 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:19,494 It's time once again for the August Dog Days of Podcasting Challenge. 4 00:00:19,495 --> 00:00:23,937 For more information and to hear shows from all the participants, 5 00:00:23,938 --> 00:00:27,384 go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com. 6 00:00:27,385 --> 00:00:32,354 comed4cast is taking this time to provide you with some interesting yet 7 00:00:32,355 --> 00:00:39,474 totally useless odd news. In fact, two Odd News stories that we think deserve each other. 8 00:00:39,475 --> 00:00:45,101 So, let's have some fun with Odd News Times Twos. 9 00:00:45,102 --> 00:00:46,967 ♪ "OPENING THEME" UP AND OUT ♪ 10 00:00:46,968 --> 00:00:49,838 Our first story takes us to Malaysia. 11 00:00:49,839 --> 00:00:52,115 [ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ] 12 00:00:52,116 --> 00:00:53,937 Okay, we're here in Ipoh, 13 00:00:53,938 --> 00:00:57,601 and we're supposed to meet up with some gentleman in this restaurant. 14 00:00:57,602 --> 00:01:01,542 Oh, here comes a lovely couple getting seated right next to us. 15 00:01:01,543 --> 00:01:04,259 Maybe this gentleman is... No, I guess not. 16 00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,883 He just excused himself to use the bathroom. 17 00:01:06,884 --> 00:01:09,663 Sorry, too much information. Hang on. 18 00:01:09,664 --> 00:01:12,280 Why is that gruff-looking guy bothering the woman? 19 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:16,650 The woman handle the situation herself, but should we intervene? 20 00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:18,403 Oh, maybe there's no need. 21 00:01:18,404 --> 00:01:22,103 The gentleman has returned and appears to be giving the ruffian... 22 00:01:22,104 --> 00:01:29,203 What for. Crisis averted. Uh, except that now the ne'er-do-well is headed our way. 23 00:01:29,204 --> 00:01:33,365 I think this is a good time to head off to cover our second odd news story. 24 00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:35,065 Off to Russia! 25 00:01:35,066 --> 00:01:36,755 [ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ] 26 00:01:36,756 --> 00:01:40,785 And here we are in Moscow to check out a strange new trend. 27 00:01:40,786 --> 00:01:42,073 Look over there. 28 00:01:42,074 --> 00:01:46,626 That guy. The one with hiS iPhone out. Watch. Or listen. 29 00:01:46,627 --> 00:01:48,376 [ PHONE CRASHES TO THE GROUND ] 30 00:01:48,377 --> 00:01:51,433 Yeah, he just smashed his phone down on the ground. 31 00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:54,785 Hard. Really making a mess of the screen. 32 00:01:54,786 --> 00:01:58,693 But he wasn't taking out his frustrations over having connectivity issues or 33 00:01:58,694 --> 00:02:02,174 going over a data cap. No, he did it on purpose. 34 00:02:02,175 --> 00:02:03,882 And he's happy he did it. 35 00:02:03,883 --> 00:02:08,397 This all stems from a recent TikTok trend. Of course it does. 36 00:02:08,398 --> 00:02:12,559 Where women were posting photos of their old, beat-up iPhones. 37 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:17,331 Equating a roughed-up phone, practically held together with duct tape, 38 00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:21,563 as being the type of phone a real man has. 39 00:02:21,564 --> 00:02:26,323 Of course, those photos were probably taken with brand-new iPhones. 40 00:02:26,324 --> 00:02:30,743 And some of the men who smashed their phones may just now be realizing that 41 00:02:30,744 --> 00:02:34,753 it's going to be really hard to take a mirror selfie of themselves with their 42 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:39,528 trashed phone now that they've damaged the built-in camera. 43 00:02:39,529 --> 00:02:42,130 Better luck next time, fellas. 44 00:02:42,131 --> 00:02:43,763 Now back to Malaysia. 45 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,582 [ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ] 46 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:49,593 Dang it! That troublemaker is still headed for our table. 47 00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:52,906 Oh, he's smiling and putting out his hand. 48 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:56,530 This is actually the person we're supposed to meet? 49 00:02:56,531 --> 00:03:02,077 It is indeed. His name is Shezali Sulaiman, and he's often been told that he 50 00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:07,606 looks like a gang member. What with his unkept long hair and biker clothing and whatnot. 51 00:03:07,607 --> 00:03:12,198 At first, Sulaiman shook it off. But over time, he started thinking. 52 00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:16,777 Maybe he could use this persona to his advantage. Soon afterwards, 53 00:03:16,778 --> 00:03:19,692 Sulaiman announced a Villains for Hire service. 54 00:03:19,693 --> 00:03:23,674 not as a henchman or minion, but as a fall guy. 55 00:03:23,675 --> 00:03:28,408 For a fee of 100 ringgit, $22 U.S., on weekdays 56 00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:33,166 and 150 ringgit during weekends, you can hire Sulaiman. 57 00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:38,105 Then set up a time and place where he will show up to bother your partner, 58 00:03:38,106 --> 00:03:44,387 giving you a chance to intervene and pretend to be a heroine or knight in shining armor. 59 00:03:44,388 --> 00:03:49,027 And make no mistake, it is a business. If Sulaiman has to travel out of town, 60 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,543 you have to pay his travel expenses too. 61 00:03:51,544 --> 00:03:55,304 Now you can certainly find issues with the Villains for Hire concept. 62 00:03:55,305 --> 00:03:58,225 Is Sulaiman breaking the law by harassing people? 63 00:03:58,226 --> 00:04:01,620 Sulaiman assures people it is all just an act. 64 00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:04,675 Like WWE. No one gets hurt. 65 00:04:04,676 --> 00:04:09,979 I am the only loser. Well, until the partner finds out at least. 66 00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,926 So what did we learn today? 67 00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:16,272 I think it's that if you have an overpowering urge to be a poser, 68 00:04:16,273 --> 00:04:20,626 don't go and throw your phone on the ground. What did it ever do to you? 69 00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:25,267 Contact a villain for hire instead. At least that way, while you make a fool 70 00:04:25,268 --> 00:04:29,200 of yourself, some local entrepreneur has a job. 71 00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:31,284 ♪ "END THEME" IN AND UNDER ♪ 72 00:04:31,285 --> 00:04:35,016 That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Times Twos. 73 00:04:35,017 --> 00:04:40,752 But first, a very special shout-out to my Patreon patrons, including producer-level 74 00:04:40,753 --> 00:04:46,692 patrons Paul Barrie from the A Window to the Magic podcast, Kirby Bartlett-Sloan, 75 00:04:46,693 --> 00:04:53,232 Chuck Tomasi from the Technorama podcast, Kyle Nishioka, Brian Martsolf, Amy Murphy, 76 00:04:53,233 --> 00:04:57,255 and Steve Ng from steveng5.com. 77 00:04:57,256 --> 00:05:04,059 That's S-T-E-V-E-N-G, the number 5, dot com. You too can show your support. 78 00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:08,412 Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, 79 00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:13,792 on Patreon.com. Original script, voices, and original music by me, 80 00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:16,876 Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2026. 81 00:05:16,877 --> 00:05:20,752 All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now, 82 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:24,266 that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.