The comedy4cast network. Let's dog-ear that for now.
This is comedy4cast, episode 868, Road Sage.
Comedy4cast is participating in the Dog Days of Podcasting,
where podcasters try to put out a show every day in August. For more information
and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
Comedy4cast is taking this time to provide you with some interesting,
yet totally useless, odd news. In fact, 2 odd news stories that we think deserve each other.
So, let's have some fun with Odd News Times Twos.
Picture it. You're headed down the Belt Parkway through Brooklyn,
and it's very late. So late it's almost early.
New York may be the city that never sleeps, but you'd rather be home in bed. Suddenly.
You hear a loud, sharp thump that bounces the whole car.
A split second later, the low tire pressure ight pops to life on your dashboard.
Something tells you that you've got a flat.
But how? The tires were in good shape. What happened? And how are you going
to get it taken care of in time to get some sleep?
Those are some great questions.
But let's dog-ear them for a minute and jet down to Florida to deal with a different
type of vehicle-related problem.
We see a woman in her car. She's been pulled over by Brevard County Sheriff's
Deputies and some contraband has been found in the vehicle. The woman has been read her
Miranda rights and the deputies are now conducting a so-called post-Miranda interview.
Just then, a man in a business suit shows up.
The driver legitimately identifies the man as her lawyer. At this point,
the driver stops speaking to the responding deputy, referring him to her lawyer.
The man in question, Derek Schaufus, tells the deputies that he's bar-certified
and licensed to practice both here in Florida and in Georgia.
It's always a good idea to have a lawyer present.
It's right there in the Miranda rights. So, what's so odd about all this?
Well, when the officers ask Schaufus to provide some proof of his status,
he doesn't have any documentation with him, which is a bit concerning.
But then the officers discover that not only is Schaufus not a lawyer,
He was also arrested on DUI charges last year, and now it appears that he's
impersonating the attorney who represented him at his hearing.
Schaufus was later arrested and now faces charges of obstruction by a disguised
person and practicing law without a license.
Personally, I might also toss in attempting to pull off a Russian nesting doll
slash Inception level disguise within a disguise.
Apparently, the driver had originally met Schaufus through a friend,
and Schaufus mentioned that he was a lawyer.
So naturally, when the driver thought she needed legal services, she called Schaufus.
And I'm sorry, but we don't have any information on whether or not the driver
and her friend are still speaking to each other.
But there's no time to worry about that. We need to get back to New York City
so you can deal with your automobile issue.
[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ]
That flat tire. Apparently, it was a giant pothole that shredded your tire.
You've pulled off the parkway at the nearest exit to prevent even more damage. Good idea.
But it's so late and you're so tired. How long is it going to take to get a new tire?
Oh! Wait! There's a van parked righ over there labeled Mobile Tire Shop.
And look, there's a whole stack of tires next to the van. What luck!
Actually, luck has nothing to do with it. Javier Yat, a 23-year-old Brooklyn
mechanic, parks his van there almost every night.
He's made a pretty good business out of parking right near that pothole.
Yat estimates the crater is about 60 square inches and 12 inches deep. Yikes!
That's not a pothole. It's a swimming pool. During the day, most people see the pothole.
It would be hard not to, what with the lifeguard and whatnot.
But at night, it's a real tire shredder. By the time Yat shows up around 12.30a.m.,
there are already a few cars that have exited the highway in need of new wheels.
And Yat will replace an average of 15 to 20 tires before the night is done,
pulling in around $2,200, a lot of which goes right back into buying new tires.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, the city has filled the pothole more than once.
Yat says the repair usually only lasts until the next cold snap or the next time it rains.
So, what did we learn today? I think it's that when you run into trouble on
the road, forget the young would-be hotshot attorneys.
You want to find someone who's ready to retire.
[ SOUND OF PNEUMATIC DRILL ]
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Times Twos.
But first, a very special shout-out to my Patreon patrons, including producer-level
patrons Paul Barrie from the Window to the Magic podcast, Kirby Bartlett-Sloan,
Chuck Tomasi from the Technorama podcast, Kyle Nishioka, Brian Martzolf, Amy Murphy,
and Steve Ng from steveng5.com.
That's S-T-E-V-E-N-G, the number five, dot com.
You too can show your support. Just search for comedy4cast,
all one word with the number 4, on Patreon.com. Original script,
voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2026.
All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now,
that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.