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The comedy4cast network.
Let's dog-ear that for now.

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This is comedy4cast, episode 868, Road Sage.

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Comedy4cast is participating
in the Dog Days of Podcasting,

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where podcasters try to put out a show
every day in August. For more information

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and to hear all the shows,
go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

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Comedy4cast is taking this time to
provide you with some interesting,

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yet totally useless, odd news. In fact, 2 odd
news stories that we think deserve each other.

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So, let's have some fun
with Odd News Times Twos.

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Picture it. You're headed down the
Belt Parkway through Brooklyn,

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and it's very late. So late it's almost early.

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New York may be the city that never sleeps,
but you'd rather be home in bed. Suddenly.

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You hear a loud, sharp thump
that bounces the whole car.

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A split second later, the low tire pressure
ight pops to life on your dashboard.

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Something tells you that you've got a flat.

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But how? The tires were in good shape.
What happened? And how are you going

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to get it taken care of
in time to get some sleep?

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Those are some great questions.

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But let's dog-ear them for a minute and
jet down to Florida to deal with a different

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type of vehicle-related problem.

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We see a woman in her car. She's been
pulled over by Brevard County Sheriff's

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Deputies and some contraband has been found
in the vehicle. The woman has been read her

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Miranda rights and the deputies are now
conducting a so-called post-Miranda interview.

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Just then, a man in a business suit shows up.

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The driver legitimately identifies
the man as her lawyer. At this point,

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the driver stops speaking to the responding
deputy, referring him to her lawyer.

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The man in question, Derek Schaufus,
tells the deputies that he's bar-certified

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and licensed to practice both
here in Florida and in Georgia.

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It's always a good idea
to have a lawyer present.

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It's right there in the Miranda rights.
So, what's so odd about all this?

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Well, when the officers ask Schaufus
to provide some proof of his status,

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he doesn't have any documentation
with him, which is a bit concerning.

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But then the officers discover that
not only is Schaufus not a lawyer,

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He was also arrested on DUI charges
last year, and now it appears that he's

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impersonating the attorney
who represented him at his hearing.

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Schaufus was later arrested and now
faces charges of obstruction by a disguised

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person and practicing law without a license.

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Personally, I might also toss in attempting
to pull off a Russian nesting doll

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slash Inception level
disguise within a disguise.

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Apparently, the driver had
originally met Schaufus through a friend,

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and Schaufus mentioned that he was a lawyer.

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So naturally, when the driver thought she
needed legal services, she called Schaufus.

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And I'm sorry, but we don't have any
information on whether or not the driver

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and her friend are
still speaking to each other.

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But there's no time to worry about that.
We need to get back to New York City

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so you can deal with your automobile issue.

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[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ]

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That flat tire. Apparently, it was a
giant pothole that shredded your tire.

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You've pulled off the parkway at the nearest
exit to prevent even more damage. Good idea.

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But it's so late and you're so tired. How long
is it going to take to get a new tire?

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Oh! Wait! There's a van parked righ
over there labeled Mobile Tire Shop.

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And look, there's a whole stack
of tires next to the van. What luck!

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Actually, luck has nothing to do with it.
Javier Yat, a 23-year-old Brooklyn

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mechanic, parks his van there
almost every night.

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He's made a pretty good business
out of parking right near that pothole.

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Yat estimates the crater is about 60
square inches and 12 inches deep. Yikes!

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That's not a pothole. It's a swimming pool.
During the day, most people see the pothole.

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It would be hard not to,
what with the lifeguard and whatnot.

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But at night, it's a real tire shredder.
By the time Yat shows up around 12.30a.m.,

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there are already a few cars that have
exited the highway in need of new wheels.

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And Yat will replace an average of
15 to 20 tires before the night is done,

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pulling in around $2,200, a lot of which
goes right back into buying new tires.

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Oh, and in case you're wondering, the city
has filled the pothole more than once.

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Yat says the repair usually only lasts until
the next cold snap or the next time it rains.

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So, what did we learn today? I think
it's that when you run into trouble on

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the road, forget the young
would-be hotshot attorneys.

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You want to find someone
who's ready to retire.

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[ SOUND OF PNEUMATIC DRILL ]

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That about wraps it up
for today's Odd News Times Twos.

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But first, a very special shout-out to my
Patreon patrons, including producer-level

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patrons Paul Barrie from the Window to the
Magic podcast, Kirby Bartlett-Sloan,

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Chuck Tomasi from the Technorama podcast,
Kyle Nishioka, Brian Martzolf, Amy Murphy,

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and Steve Ng from steveng5.com.

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That's S-T-E-V-E-N-G,
the number five, dot com.

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You too can show your support.
Just search for comedy4cast,

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all one word with the number 4,
on Patreon.com. Original script,

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voices, and original music by me,
Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2026.

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All rights reserved.
Talk to you again next time. But for now,

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that's it. We're done, done,
done, done, done. Bye-bye.