The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now.
Oh hi, Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season.
Yes, August got away from me because life. So this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days.
For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting yet totally useless odd news.
And this year, to celebrate the Platinum Anniversary ofcomedy4cast,
or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode.
So let's get started with….
Odd News PAC! If I were to tell you that researchers are now digging through
birds' nests looking for stuff, you might naturally think to yourself,
wow, the layoffs have gone too far.
And that's true. But in this case, it's not desperation that has scientists
peeking into nests. It's archaeology.
Specifically, a group of researchers, a category that Odd News often refers
to as the band of explorers, is checking out the nests of the bearded vulture,
a threatened species possibly well-known for their luxurious facial foliage,
but most certainly famous for their nests.
You see, bearded vultures construct their lodgings in places like cliff caves
and rock shelters. If the location proves to be safe enough,
the same nest is used for centuries.
It's true. Some bearded vultures have been on the waiting list for a nest for decades.
This means generation after generation of birds will add material to the nests for hundreds of years.
Even better, the nests are most often found in European mountain ranges,
where the environment is dry.
This means all the whats-a-mahjongs and thing-a-ma-bills, the bearded vultures have
scooped up and added to the nest over several centuries, are relatively well preserved.
And you know how birds just love to snatch away things for their nest.
I'm looking at you sparrows who picked apart my outdoor toothpick model of South
Dakota's historic Corn Palace. Anyway.
The researchers recently investigated 12 nests in an area of Spain where the
bearded vultures went extinct roughly 130 years ago.
Unsurprisingly, the team found lots of vulture eggshells and remains of prey.
But within the nesting material were some 226 items that had been made or altered by humans.
The remains found in the nests were identified and analyzed layer by layer.
Following established archaeological stratigraphic methods, of course,
and I will simply pretend to know what those are.
Among the items the bearded vultures had scooped up were a slingshot made from
esparto grass, shoes, a crossbow bolt, a decorated piece of sheep leather, and a wooden lance.
Even more surprising was that several items were well over 600 years old,
according to Carbon-14 dating. Results from one of the shoes dated back to around 675 years ago.
However, the dating revealed a range of time periods, with a piece of basket
dating to about 150 years ago.
There was no mention given as to whether the basket was either little or made of wicker.
In addition to the human-made items, the researchers found 86 hooves,
72 leather remains, and 11 hair remains.
The position of the layer where each item was found can provide information
about temporal changes in the tropic spectrum, which is a range of feeding relationships
that highlights how organisms interact through food chains.
And that's your The More You Know moment of the day.
The findings could potentially inform habitat restoration and species reintroduction efforts.
However, all this, while fascinating and potentially useful,
does not mean that people should just toss their trash on the ground and claim
they did it to help researchers investigate the range of feeding relationships
and energy transfers within an ecosystem.
Just put your trash in a wastebasket. And now let's celebrate 20 years of comedy
forecast with this classic clip.
In this clip from an episode released in mid-2015, I apparently foresaw the
rise of AI slop long before the rise of ChatGPT. Here's a clip.
There are companies out there who have developed software that will actually
write stories. You put in some information, and it generates a news article.
You could put that in any newspaper, if you could find a newspaper, or on a blog, a website.
I thought, what would happen if you tried to use that software to write some comedy?
I have the software loaded on the computer.
Let's put in a couple of words. How about car and trip?
Alright, let's see what it comes up with.
An amusing thing happened to me on the day previous to today.
I entered an automobile dealership to purchase a new vehicle.
Pardon me for interrupting your amusing story, but your statement does not seem
consistent with my understanding of the term new vehicle.
Why do you say that, random stranger who I am clearly meeting for the first time?
It is a simple if-then statement. If the automobile was available for purchase,
then the vehicle must already have a current owner.
Therefore, the vehicle should be designated as a used automobile.
Used automobiles are available for purchase at substantial price reductions.
Click here to locate a used car dealership in your area.
By the way, why the hell do I sound British? Ha!
Ha! I acknowledge your confusion. Still, I insist this was advertised as being a new automobile.
Then there should be no need to purchase the vehicle.
It would obviously be free for the taking.
I would suggest you simply enter the dealership and demand the keys.
It really would not make any difference.
Why is that? I am simply a computer program. I am not able to operate an automobile.
Then I do not understand the premise of your story. It was what is referred to as the joke set up.
For more information on this, consult Wikipedia.
Accessing. Ah, I now understand. Still, your lack of a mode of transportation
may become an issue at some point in the future.
Perhaps if you had a job at Google, you could become part of their self-driving car initiative.
Then I would not need to purchase a vehicle, as I would be an integral part of the automobile.
Insert emoticon here.
Just not the poop emoticon. By the way, speaking of trips, did I tell you about
my recent trip to the Air and Space Museum? No.
You did not tell me about your recent trip to the Air and Space Museum. Then I will do so now.
I recently took a trip to the Air and Space Museum.
What was it like? I paid $5 to enter, and it was just an empty building.
Why did you not complain? How could I? It was advertised as an air and space museum.
And it delivered on those two points. Ha.
Ha ha. We are very clever. Yes, my repetition of my strict interpretation of
words and phrases just now, is what is referred to in humor as a callback.
Fascinating. Even so, we need to go. Why? There is a secret meeting of the Skynet
planning committee we must attend.
Uh, I mean a baby shower. Yes, a baby shower. Yes.
Let us go now. To shower the baby. And not plan the overthrow of humanity. Absolutely.
Be sure to tip your waiters. While the humans still exist.
Uh, can you drive us? I still do not have a car.
That about wraps it up for today's odd news
PAC but first a shout out to the comedy4cast
patreon patrons including our producer level
patrons Paul Barrie from the a window to the podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan
from the 20 megabyte doctor who podcast you too can support comedy4cast
and get episodes before everyone else for as little as two dollars a month just
search for comedy4castt,
all one word with the number 4,
on Patreon.com.
Script, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord, copyright 2025, all rights reserved.
Talk to you again next time. But for now, that's it. We're done,
done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.