The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now.
Oh hi, Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season.
Yes, August got away from me because life. So this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days.
For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting,
yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate the Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast
episode. So, let's get started with...
Odd News PAC!
If you've never heard the term Rustamod, you might think it's the latest internet
advertised cleaning product. And maybe you're right.
In this context, it means the restoration and modification of a classic car.
Kind of like putting 32 gigabytes of memory into a Commodore 64.
And for one Texas driver, the automobile Rustamod of his dreams was about to become a reality.
The man had recently retired and was looking to own a Rustamod. But not just any mashup.
Oh no, he was looking for a 1962 Ford F-100.
But to make matters more complicated, he didn't want to do the restoration and
modifications himself. He wanted to find an F-100 update that had already been completed.
And after months of searching, he found it.
It was at a dealership that was 660 miles away, a distance in Texas that is
referred to as right around the corner.
The 1962 Ford F-100 was for sale by Hard Rock Motors in Traynor,
Iowa. And here are a few of the specs.
The pickup now featured a 4.6-liter single overhead cam V8 engine that had been
transplanted from a Mercury Grand Marquee and paired with a four-speed automatic
transmission, air conditioning,
rack and pinion power steering, and power disc brakes.
The suspension setup was also modernized, with parts taken from a Mustang GT S550.
And the interior now featured digital gauges, a plush bench seat,
shoulder belts, new tinted windows, Bluetooth stereo, and Ford 18-inch wheels.
It's less clear how the issue of the pickup's wrongbed was addressed.
You see, the 1961 through 1966 Ford F-100s featured a new design that combined
the cab and bed into a single welded unit.
It gave the vehicle a rather unique look.
And while some contemporary pickups have used this same idea,
Ford's original implementation had some issues.
Like, if the truck bed was full, the cab doors wouldn't open or close.
Body panels ripped off and the frame was not sufficiently rigid and could twist
out of shape if the load was too heavy.
But none of that really mattered. The man flew from Dallas to the dealership
in Iowa, spent some time test driving and inspecting the truck,
and then, purchased papers in hand, set off on the 660-mile drive home.
And what a trip it was. The new owner described it as perfect roads,
beautiful scenery, and other car guys, and a few gals, asking about it at every fuel stop.
Now, I know you're expecting me to tell you that something happened to the truck on the way home.
Like maybe it was stolen, or he put an elephant in the wrongbed. But nope.
The trip was great. Oh, but then the next morning when the owner and his wife
took the truck out to run a quick errand, they had a collision with another vehicle.
Fortunately, everyone in both vehicles was fine. But about a foot of the front
end of the truck was now just a pile of twisted metal.
Uh, bright side? In addition to everyone being okay, the truck was not actually totaled.
It's now in the hands of a specialty repair shop.
And when it emerges, we suspect that its errand running days are over.
And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip.
In this clip from June of 2015, Bob Dunster interviews Professor Wilfred T.
Pasternakle. They discuss the impact that 619 people running for president will
have on each candidate's campaign strategy.
And yes, if it had been 660 people, that would have been one sweet tie-in to the previous story.
Anyway, here's the clip.
Senator Donald Bileduck has just thrown his hat into the ring and has announced
that he is running for president of the United States.
That brings the current number of people currently in the race to 619.
While most people think this is ridiculous, our guest thinks it's a good thing.
He's Professor Wilford Q.
Pasternakle of the Harvard Yard Political Think Tank, Wazzup.
Welcome, Professor. Well, thank you, Biff. Uh, it's Bob. Hey, whatever you say, Bill.
Now, Professor, I... I'm not going to tell you how to run your life.
Now, Professor, there are over 600 people running for President of the United States.
Yeah, sounds like a marathon, doesn't it? Yes, and that seems like too many people.
But you say it's a good thing. Yes, it is, Barney, because we're about to reach
what I call critical candidate density.
What is that? What? Did you hear something? No, I mean, what is...
Because I did. I think it was the sound of one hand clapping.
And that sound sounds like this.
No, I mean, what is critical candidate density?
Funny. I was just talking about that. Critical candidate density, or as I like to call it.
Critical candidate density, is the point at which the number of people in the
race constitutes an actual percentage of the voting public. Well, I don't understand.
All candidates represent a certain percentage of the voting public.
Those are the people that support them in their bid.
Did you say bibs? No, I said bids. Because it clearly sounded to me like you
said bibs, which would be very weird.
Getting back to your theory. Right, Bartholomew. I'm with you.
I didn't mean some theoretical number of people supporting each candidate.
I mean that since so few people vote these days, if each of these candidates
votes, their sheer numbers can sway the election. Oh, right.
I see. And why is that a good thing? I'm glad you asked, Buford. Well, good.
Okay, don't get all proud of yourself, Benji. It was just a question.
Sorry. Apology accepted.
The reason this is a good thing is because every candidate must now look at
all the other candidates not only as opponents, but as constituents.
And? And if there's one thing politicians know, it's you never want to tick off a voter.
You can't run a negative ad about someone you're trying to sway to vote for you.
You can't be a big show-off and win a debate against people who could possibly
vote for you. I see. I'm glad.
So, what do you think will be the ultimate outcome of this critical candidate
density? A phrase, which I must point out, is obviously catching on,
since I've heard it several times in the last few minutes alone.
Uh... What will happen, Bilbo, is someone will swoop in at the last second and
charm the heck out of everyone and win.
And any thoughts on who that might be? Let's just say, all hail Tom Hanks!
Uh, I don't think so. You mark my words, Bonzo.
There'll be a Woody in the Oval Office real soon. On that note...
Wait, why is your producer giving me that cut-em-off sign?
I'd like to thank you, Professor, but that's probably not a good idea. Oh, I see what I did.
Hey, get your mind out of the gutter. Thank you, and good night.
Maybe I should have gone with All Hail Josh Groban.
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Pack.
But first, a shout-out to the Comedy Forecast Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patrons Paul Barrie from the A Window to the Magic
podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20-megabyte Doctor Who podcast.
You too can support comedy4cast
and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month.
Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on Patreon.com.
Script, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025.
All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now,
that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.