1 00:00:00,020 --> 00:00:04,940 The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog-ear that for now. 2 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:12,860 It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to 3 00:00:12,860 --> 00:00:15,980 try to put out a podcast every day in August. 4 00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:20,980 For more information, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com. 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,700 We always take this month to provide you with some interesting, 6 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,580 yet totally useless, odd news. 7 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:32,799 And this year, to celebrate the platinum anniversary of comedy4cast, 8 00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:40,479 or PAC for short, we'll end each Dog Day episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode. 9 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:45,220 So, let's get started with Odd News PAC. 10 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:50,780 Were you ever at a big family celebration, like a wedding, and couldn't quite 11 00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:56,140 figure out who that one relative was? So you try to casually ask your second 12 00:00:56,140 --> 00:01:00,060 cousin, Gene, only to find out their name is actually Greg. 13 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,420 And why haven't you accepted their Facebook friend request? 14 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:10,160 And you say, I haven't been on Facebook in a while. And they say, I sent it four years ago. 15 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:15,819 Where was I? Oh, right. That relative at the wedding reception that you couldn't identify. 16 00:01:16,099 --> 00:01:21,020 Well, if you live in Japan, there might be a perfectly logical explanation for 17 00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:25,420 that. Nope, it's not a wedding crasher. It's a rented grandma. 18 00:01:25,980 --> 00:01:31,160 That's right, a rent- you know what? Hold on a second. Let me take care of something real quick. 19 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,240 Friend request rejected. 20 00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:39,160 Yes, a rented grandma. You see, Client Services, 21 00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:43,740 the Japanese company with the least creative name since Tokyo Tower, 22 00:01:43,740 --> 00:01:48,940 offers you the chance to rent a grandma for as little as 3,300 yen, 23 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,420 or around $22 US, per hour. 24 00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:57,340 Now, you might think this is all a bit strange, but Client Services has literally 25 00:01:57,340 --> 00:01:59,940 built a business around this kind of thing. 26 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,480 You can go to them to rent someone to attend an event in your place, 27 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,020 or to apologize on your behalf. 28 00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:11,460 Heck, you can even hire someone to quit your job for you. And I can see that 29 00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:16,500 last one going horribly wrong when Ted, your practical Joker office cube mate, 30 00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:20,280 hires one for a laugh, and the next thing you know, you're out of a job. 31 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:26,699 Then Ted mysteriously disappears. But back to OK Grandma. 32 00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:30,980 That's the official name of Client Service's signature senior citizen service, 33 00:02:31,199 --> 00:02:35,600 where you can rent a female senior between the ages of 60 and 94. 34 00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:39,139 It's actually one of Client Service's most popular offerings, 35 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,760 right after brainstorming company names. 36 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:45,380 But why would anyone want to do this? Rent a grandma. 37 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:49,960 For some people, they want to have a conversation with someone who's more experienced 38 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,500 about a problem they're having and has the ability to see more of life's big 39 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,480 picture and put it all in perspective. 40 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,080 Some really miss the smell of an authentic home-cooked meal. 41 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:03,240 Or they may want to have someone with beautiful handwriting write a note that 42 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,340 they can send to that special someone. 43 00:03:05,699 --> 00:03:09,639 You know, this is making me realize why there's no OK grandpa service. 44 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:12,000 You want to talk about a problem you're having? 45 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,100 Ah, suck it up. Home-cooked meal? Sure, just yell when it's ready. 46 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:20,460 I'm going to hang out on your couch and watch the ball game. A handwritten note? 47 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,540 Gee, did you skip school again? 48 00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:27,600 Although, there is one situation where having the choice to rent a grandma or 49 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,160 a grandpa would definitely come in handy. 50 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,600 There was one customer who said she wanted to break up with her boyfriend, 51 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,040 but said she couldn't tell him clearly. 52 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:41,200 In that case, a grandma would be able to handle the task with compassion and 53 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:45,600 kindness, explaining how there are many fish in the sea. On the other hand, 54 00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:50,100 Grandpa would just blurt out, You're history, kid! Walk it off! 55 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:56,820 And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip. 56 00:03:57,020 --> 00:04:02,660 This clip is from the skit in the August 28, 2008 episode of comedy4cast. 57 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:09,080 As we jump in, someone has already stolen Ray's sandwich from the office refrigerator. 58 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:14,620 Boy, oh boy, oh boy, I can't wait to bite into my delicious bologna and pickle sandwich. 59 00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:17,960 I gotta tell you, I've been waiting all morning for the hey. 60 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:22,339 My sandwich is gone. Maybe you forgot it at home. 61 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:26,700 Oh, no, I didn't. I distinctly remember bringing it in. 62 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:31,480 I remember thinking to myself this morning, what will go better with bologna than pickles? 63 00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:34,960 Of course, the answer was guacamole, but I was all out of that. 64 00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:39,480 So I whipped it up, threw it in this bag, and I brought it in. 65 00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:43,940 Maybe it's in there. What? Maybe it didn't look in the whole bag. 66 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:48,020 John, this is a paper bag, not Buckingham Palace. 67 00:04:48,339 --> 00:04:53,899 There are no secret passageways in here. The sandwich is gone, which means... 68 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:01,839 Someone took it. Wait a minute. Yeah? There's a secret passage at Buckingham 69 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,180 Palace. John, focus. Focus, John. 70 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:09,640 What are we going to do about this? Well, first I think we should let the Queen know. 71 00:05:09,899 --> 00:05:14,020 Forget about the secret passageways. I'm mad. 72 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,860 Angry, I tell you. In fact, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to teach 73 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,680 this sandwich thief a lesson. I don't know. 74 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,160 Seems like they're already pretty good at stealing sandwiches. 75 00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:29,500 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. 76 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,700 No. I have a plan. 77 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,980 What is it? Shh. It would be safer if you didn't know about it. 78 00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:43,000 Top secret, you know. And, uh, the walls have ears. Oh, wow. 79 00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:48,100 First there are secret passageways in Buckingham Palace, and now the walls have ears? 80 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:53,420 Suddenly, my perception of the universe is being thrown completely off balance. 81 00:05:53,779 --> 00:05:58,000 Never mind that. Just meet me here at the fridge tomorrow at noon. 82 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,620 Okay, now we're going to get to the bottom of this Johnny me boy. 83 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,240 Let's see if the thief took the bait. 84 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:14,899 It's gone. Yes, perfect. Now it's going to be easy to find that thief because 85 00:06:14,899 --> 00:06:18,740 I put a mousetrap in today's cabbage and jelly sandwich. 86 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,100 One bite of that sandwich and snap. 87 00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:27,260 That's a clever plan. You betcha. In fact, I... 88 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:33,540 Uh, what did you say? I said it's a clever plan. 89 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:37,440 Johnny, how could you do this to me? Do what? 90 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,720 You ate the sandwich. 91 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,900 The mousetrap got you on the tongue. Nuh-uh. Uh-huh. 92 00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:48,740 Listen to you. I went to the dentist this morning. What? 93 00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:56,360 I went to the dentist this morning. You went to the dentist this morning? Uh-huh. 94 00:06:57,060 --> 00:07:04,580 Besides, I hate cabbage. Well, then who... Where did that door come from? 95 00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:10,760 We were not amused by your mousetrap sandwich. 96 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,600 It bruised our royal tongue. 97 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:19,600 Kindly refrain from such hijinks in the future. 98 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:26,160 And stop telling people about the secret passageway. 99 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:33,600 That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC, but first, 100 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,800 a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons, 101 00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:41,920 including our producer-level patron Paul BarrIE from the A Window to the Magic 102 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,040 podcast at windowtothemagic.com. 103 00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:47,000 You too can support comedy4cast 104 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:52,720 and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month. 105 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:59,460 Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on Patreon.com. 106 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,120 Lending their voice in this episode was Bonnie Kenderdine. 107 00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:10,180 Story, additional voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025. 108 00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:15,100 All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now, 109 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:18,260 that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.