The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog-ear that for now.
It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to
try to put out a podcast every day in August.
For more information, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
We always take this month to provide you with some interesting,
yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate the platinum anniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, we'll end each Dog Day episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode.
So, let's get started with Odd News PAC.
Were you ever at a big family celebration, like a wedding, and couldn't quite
figure out who that one relative was? So you try to casually ask your second
cousin, Gene, only to find out their name is actually Greg.
And why haven't you accepted their Facebook friend request?
And you say, I haven't been on Facebook in a while. And they say, I sent it four years ago.
Where was I? Oh, right. That relative at the wedding reception that you couldn't identify.
Well, if you live in Japan, there might be a perfectly logical explanation for
that. Nope, it's not a wedding crasher. It's a rented grandma.
That's right, a rent- you know what? Hold on a second. Let me take care of something real quick.
Friend request rejected.
Yes, a rented grandma. You see, Client Services,
the Japanese company with the least creative name since Tokyo Tower,
offers you the chance to rent a grandma for as little as 3,300 yen,
or around $22 US, per hour.
Now, you might think this is all a bit strange, but Client Services has literally
built a business around this kind of thing.
You can go to them to rent someone to attend an event in your place,
or to apologize on your behalf.
Heck, you can even hire someone to quit your job for you. And I can see that
last one going horribly wrong when Ted, your practical Joker office cube mate,
hires one for a laugh, and the next thing you know, you're out of a job.
Then Ted mysteriously disappears. But back to OK Grandma.
That's the official name of Client Service's signature senior citizen service,
where you can rent a female senior between the ages of 60 and 94.
It's actually one of Client Service's most popular offerings,
right after brainstorming company names.
But why would anyone want to do this? Rent a grandma.
For some people, they want to have a conversation with someone who's more experienced
about a problem they're having and has the ability to see more of life's big
picture and put it all in perspective.
Some really miss the smell of an authentic home-cooked meal.
Or they may want to have someone with beautiful handwriting write a note that
they can send to that special someone.
You know, this is making me realize why there's no OK grandpa service.
You want to talk about a problem you're having?
Ah, suck it up. Home-cooked meal? Sure, just yell when it's ready.
I'm going to hang out on your couch and watch the ball game. A handwritten note?
Gee, did you skip school again?
Although, there is one situation where having the choice to rent a grandma or
a grandpa would definitely come in handy.
There was one customer who said she wanted to break up with her boyfriend,
but said she couldn't tell him clearly.
In that case, a grandma would be able to handle the task with compassion and
kindness, explaining how there are many fish in the sea. On the other hand,
Grandpa would just blurt out, You're history, kid! Walk it off!
And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip.
This clip is from the skit in the August 28, 2008 episode of comedy4cast.
As we jump in, someone has already stolen Ray's sandwich from the office refrigerator.
Boy, oh boy, oh boy, I can't wait to bite into my delicious bologna and pickle sandwich.
I gotta tell you, I've been waiting all morning for the hey.
My sandwich is gone. Maybe you forgot it at home.
Oh, no, I didn't. I distinctly remember bringing it in.
I remember thinking to myself this morning, what will go better with bologna than pickles?
Of course, the answer was guacamole, but I was all out of that.
So I whipped it up, threw it in this bag, and I brought it in.
Maybe it's in there. What? Maybe it didn't look in the whole bag.
John, this is a paper bag, not Buckingham Palace.
There are no secret passageways in here. The sandwich is gone, which means...
Someone took it. Wait a minute. Yeah? There's a secret passage at Buckingham
Palace. John, focus. Focus, John.
What are we going to do about this? Well, first I think we should let the Queen know.
Forget about the secret passageways. I'm mad.
Angry, I tell you. In fact, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to teach
this sandwich thief a lesson. I don't know.
Seems like they're already pretty good at stealing sandwiches.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
No. I have a plan.
What is it? Shh. It would be safer if you didn't know about it.
Top secret, you know. And, uh, the walls have ears. Oh, wow.
First there are secret passageways in Buckingham Palace, and now the walls have ears?
Suddenly, my perception of the universe is being thrown completely off balance.
Never mind that. Just meet me here at the fridge tomorrow at noon.
Okay, now we're going to get to the bottom of this Johnny me boy.
Let's see if the thief took the bait.
It's gone. Yes, perfect. Now it's going to be easy to find that thief because
I put a mousetrap in today's cabbage and jelly sandwich.
One bite of that sandwich and snap.
That's a clever plan. You betcha. In fact, I...
Uh, what did you say? I said it's a clever plan.
Johnny, how could you do this to me? Do what?
You ate the sandwich.
The mousetrap got you on the tongue. Nuh-uh. Uh-huh.
Listen to you. I went to the dentist this morning. What?
I went to the dentist this morning. You went to the dentist this morning? Uh-huh.
Besides, I hate cabbage. Well, then who... Where did that door come from?
We were not amused by your mousetrap sandwich.
It bruised our royal tongue.
Kindly refrain from such hijinks in the future.
And stop telling people about the secret passageway.
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC, but first,
a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patron Paul BarrIE from the A Window to the Magic
podcast at windowtothemagic.com.
You too can support comedy4cast
and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month.
Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on Patreon.com.
Lending their voice in this episode was Bonnie Kenderdine.
Story, additional voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025.
All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now,
that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.