1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,080 Music. The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now. 2 00:00:08,650 --> 00:00:14,910 Oh, hi, Clinton here. Welcome to my show, comedy4cast, episode 827. 3 00:00:15,670 --> 00:00:20,329 It's time for a tradition here on the show. Danny Hillcrest is going to give 4 00:00:20,329 --> 00:00:23,910 us the 411 on this summer's biggest movies. 5 00:00:24,490 --> 00:00:29,290 But it might be more of a case of 404, facts not found. 6 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:35,810 Enjoy the show. I'll be back a bit later. And the elephant was completely unharmed 7 00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:39,270 Which is more than can be said for the other players on the pickup basketball 8 00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:43,670 team And now, with that feel-good story over Sadly, 9 00:00:43,890 --> 00:00:50,330 it's time for Danny Hillcrest's Earful of Noise Wow, Buzz, that's the nearingly 10 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:55,450 closest you've ever come to getting the name of my segment right I love it! 11 00:00:55,710 --> 00:01:03,790 But right now, it's time for... Danny Hillcrest Summertime Summer 2025 Movie 12 00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:12,550 Preview Reviews Sponsored by Smellz-a-Lot Hand Soap Not recommended for use on living organisms, 13 00:01:13,670 --> 00:01:17,790 Walloping Walter Cronkite How are they still sponsoring you? 14 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:24,069 You never watch these movies And they never watch this show I am suddenly very 15 00:01:24,069 --> 00:01:28,170 jealous of their good fortune Then let's get started! 16 00:01:30,110 --> 00:01:35,770 First up on this summertime cabana tentpole list of big-budget films is a movie 17 00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:38,550 inspired by SpongeBob SquarePants. 18 00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:40,710 Of course, I mean... 19 00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:48,590 28 years later. This movie premieringly opens on June 20th, a whole two weeks 20 00:01:48,590 --> 00:01:51,130 before theme parks start their Halloween events. 21 00:01:51,390 --> 00:02:00,730 It features zombies, a killer virus, and, scariest of all, English accents without subtitles. Ooh! 22 00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:07,090 To give you an English breakfast taste, I've created this non-clip clip. 23 00:02:07,390 --> 00:02:11,010 Control room, don't you dare run that... Run that clip! 24 00:02:13,889 --> 00:02:20,690 Huh. You know, secluded here, it's hard to believe how the world is in shambles, 25 00:02:20,930 --> 00:02:26,030 Andy. I mean, it all just feels like some bonkers nightmare. 26 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:32,530 Right you are, Tam. But I do wonder, after all this time, has the world finally 27 00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:36,650 given that bugger rage virus the royal boot into the Thames? 28 00:02:37,730 --> 00:02:43,130 Egad, you're right as rainy bangers and mash, it must have. 29 00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:46,790 After all, it's been 28 years. 30 00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:50,910 Yes, about that. Has it been, Tam? 31 00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:59,949 Yes, this right here now is 28 years later than... 32 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:04,940 Well, then, before. No, my dear Tam, I don't reckon so. 33 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:08,419 I mean, this whole bloody business started from 2002. 34 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:12,660 I remember that because I had just started my cricket lessons. 35 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:19,860 As I recall, you were quite extraordinary at playing Hail Britannia by rubbing 36 00:03:19,860 --> 00:03:21,740 your hind legs together. 37 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:31,160 Quite, but my point is this. 2002 was just 23 years ago, Greenwich Mean Time. Now, now, Andy. 38 00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:37,520 Keep calm and carry a bumpershoot. I tell you something is afoot, and I don't mean my feet. 39 00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,860 23 instead of 28? 40 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,020 Madness! Has someone gone and 41 00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:47,040 thrown a spanner wrench into the very scratchable fabric of time itself? 42 00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:51,360 Tam, do you remember back when it was 28 weeks later? 43 00:03:51,880 --> 00:04:01,420 Yes? Well, here's the odd thing about that. That was 2007, a jolly good 254 weeks later than 2002. 44 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:05,420 And I bloody well know because I did the maths. All of them. 45 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:13,520 254 weeks? That's like 127 fortnights. Dip that stale crumpet into your Earl Grey tea. 46 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:18,360 Steady on. Don't get your knickers in a bag of crisps, Andy. 47 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:23,520 And did you know that when it was supposedly 28 days later, those two actors, 48 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:28,540 Cillian Murphy and Christopher Eccleston, were faffing about in London while 49 00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:31,360 things were going pear-shaped in Sussex? No! 50 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:35,820 I don't remember anything of... Yes, Prime Minister, that's it! 51 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:40,640 Eccleston! He's a right-said friend at Time Lord! He is behind all this! 52 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:44,560 I don't think... Oh, you fancy it could be Cillian? 53 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:49,700 On some rum-do-barbenheimer-I-am-death-destroyer-of-weeks romp? No. 54 00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:54,640 You mock my words, Tam. As surely as Piccadilly Circus, it all comes round to 55 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:57,160 it being the doctor from the ready, steady start. 56 00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:01,820 Oh, damn you, Russell T. Davies, you and the British BBC Corporation. 57 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:05,620 And if you still think I'm as mad as the haberdashery hatter, ponder this. 58 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:10,160 Eccleston once guessed it on an episode of that Yank Sarah Silverman series on the telly. 59 00:05:10,399 --> 00:05:15,800 And what was his character name, you ask? Well, I'll tell you, I reply. Dr. Rage. 60 00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:22,520 Rage! Just like the virus! Blimey! It was under our stiff upper lips the whole time, Tam! 61 00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:26,600 Now I must hunt down the doctor and ferry him back to Gallifrey to face the 62 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,300 music, and not some catchy Mersey beat skiffle tune. 63 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:34,640 Oh no, this level of skullduggery demands a full-on performance by the Royal Philhar- ... 64 00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:47,839 Right! 65 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:56,260 Oh, Bobbies are your uncles. Looks like that rage virus is still around. 66 00:05:58,460 --> 00:06:05,580 Hillcrest, that's not scary. It's insipid. Oh, I thought it was English. My bad. 67 00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:09,140 Next, on July 11th, look to the skies. 68 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:14,940 Then look down because you're in a movie theater watching the latest ACDC reboot 69 00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:17,480 of The Man of Steel, Superman. 70 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,480 This never-before-heard non-clip 71 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:25,360 clip will give you an idea of what this one is all about. Probably. 72 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,680 From Director James Gunn. 73 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:35,920 Music. 74 00:06:36,580 --> 00:06:40,620 Gee willikers, Superman, you saved us from that alien invasion. 75 00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:42,860 Oh, it's all in a day's work, Jimmy. 76 00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:46,500 Now back to the Daily Planet to write this up. 77 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:53,440 Superman saved Metropolis, but his greatest challenge is yet to come. 78 00:06:53,940 --> 00:07:00,060 Kent, what are you doing here? I'm just about to turn in my story on the Dimension X invasion. 79 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:06,040 Yeah, about that. Turns out the entire internet beats you to it, Kent. 80 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,240 My intern tells me it's already a trending meme. 81 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:15,820 Whatever the hell that is. Can even the Man of Steel make a major metropolitan 82 00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:19,960 newspaper feel relevant in the 21st century? 83 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:26,080 Oh, by the way, Kent, you're fired. 84 00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:31,040 I need you to clear out your desk by five. We're renting out the newsroom space 85 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,180 as an Airbnb or something. 86 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:42,260 Too close to home, Hillcrest. By the way, were you ever tested for persistent cranial vacancy? 87 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,620 Because that would answer a lot of questions about how... 88 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:52,800 Just a moment. We appear to have breaking news. We now go live to... 89 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:58,160 Danny Hillcrest? Thanks, Buzz. I need to interrupt this summer movie preview 90 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,900 review to talk about Smellz-a-Lot hand soap. Control room? 91 00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:07,460 What are you doing? Did you know that four out of five doctors agree that Smellz-A-Lot 92 00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:10,400 hand soap should be part of your household supplies? 93 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:15,800 For what? Rat bait? Did you sneak a look at my notes, Buzz? 94 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:20,820 And remember, always treat Smellz-A-Lot hand soap with respect, 95 00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:23,560 because it has a long memory. 96 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:28,320 Trust me on this one. Now, back to the movies! 97 00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:36,360 It's the Fantastic Four First Steps With a title like that, I expectantly figured 98 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:41,400 this one was going to be kind of like a Marvel Muppet Babies But the trailer 99 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,059 made me change my mind And if you need changing, 100 00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:49,380 maybe my exclusive Not the Trailer trailer will help you. 101 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:58,020 The 1960s, a turbulent mid-century point in history marked by political unrest, 102 00:08:58,380 --> 00:09:03,200 the free love generation, and, according to the trailer for this movie, 103 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:07,580 a decade plagued by an ever-present funky yellow ochre haze. 104 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:13,299 It was as if, to quickly convey a bygone time, some editing whiz simply slapped 105 00:09:13,299 --> 00:09:16,600 a stock Tarantino filter on all the footage. 106 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:22,340 Everybody's a critic. But this movie isn't about some hack with access to far 107 00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:24,340 too many Adobe Premiere color luts. 108 00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:26,780 It's about four remarkable heroes. 109 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:32,380 Let's meet them now, starting with Reed Richards, a.k.a. 110 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:39,860 Mr. Fantastic, A man with the ability to stretch himself beyond the bounds of any sense of logic. 111 00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:42,320 A lot like the second season of Heroes. 112 00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:47,540 His signature catchphrase? Whoa, that's a stretch! 113 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:56,160 Next, the alliterative wife of Reed Richards, Sue Storm, a.k.a. the Invisible Woman. 114 00:09:56,940 --> 00:10:02,480 Her ability to disappear at will made her the inspiration for the term ghosting. 115 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:07,260 As well as that weird, invisible woman plastic model kit. Oh, 116 00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,440 you know the one I'm talking about. 117 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,820 It had clear plastic skin, and you could see all the guts inside. 118 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:15,600 Yuck! No guts, no glory! 119 00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:23,960 Which brings us to the somehow not alliterative brother of Sue Storm, Johnny Storm, a.k.a. 120 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:25,980 The Human Torch. 121 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:33,500 A man with the ability to spontaneously combust. I knew that was a real thing. 122 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:38,820 Never did his ability to flame on come in handier than during the 2020 Summer 123 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:47,520 Olympics, when he was able to light up and carry himself along the torch route. Go me! 124 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:56,240 Sadly, no one texted Johnny to tell him that the games were postponed until 2021. They ghosted me! 125 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:04,059 And last, but alphabetically not so much, is Ben Grimm, a.k.a. 126 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:08,140 The Thing, a super-dense superhero. 127 00:11:08,799 --> 00:11:09,860 I rock. 128 00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:15,160 Remember, don't take me for granite. 129 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:23,799 Come on, they can't all be gems. The Thing, the hero with a moniker so bland, 130 00:11:24,299 --> 00:11:27,420 it proves that even Marvel can run out of character names. 131 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:32,940 What did you say? These then are the members of the Fantastic Four, 132 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:37,740 a team that gained their powers from exposure to cosmic rays while traveling 133 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:42,720 in space, a team that failed to stick the theatrical landing in 2005. 134 00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:48,549 And 2007. And 2015. 135 00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:56,510 The Fantastic Four. A team whose very name says, that's right, we're a clique. 136 00:11:56,910 --> 00:11:59,970 Now go away and sit at your own lunch table, loser. 137 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:03,670 That's it. It's clobbering time. 138 00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:06,890 Ooh! Not the face! 139 00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:20,130 And that is the news. This is Buzz. Wait, Buzz. I'm not done yet. Well, I am. 140 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:26,610 If you want to say anything more about these summer movies, say it before the theme ends. 141 00:12:27,070 --> 00:12:32,390 Oh, the new remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer still doesn't know what I did. 142 00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:36,850 No one must ever know. You're running out of time, Hillcrest. 143 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:41,230 The Naked Gun continues in a reboot that's a sequel to a movie franchise that 144 00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:44,990 started as a TV series. I have a whole bulletin board full of red string about it. 145 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:47,770 That's what I did last summer. Faster! 146 00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:53,430 There's a movie called F1 coming out. Why not? If they can make only do one 147 00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:56,190 about emojis, why not one about a key on your keyboard? 148 00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:58,470 You're not going to make it. 149 00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:03,650 There's another Smurfs movie coming out. Why the Smurf are they smurfingly doing this to us? 150 00:13:03,790 --> 00:13:08,510 And both Freakier Friday and Jurassic World Rebirth ask the same question. 151 00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:13,270 How is any of this getting us back into theaters? 152 00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:21,410 Disclaimer. In case you hadn't already guessed it, Danny rarely sees the movies he previews or reviews. 153 00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:27,230 He gets all his information from movie trailers, so his information is usually way off. 154 00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:32,550 Although there have been times when... But that's a story for another episode. 155 00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:38,550 In this episode, the parts of Tam and Sue Storm were played by Bonnie Kanderdean, 156 00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:42,970 and the parts of the editor and the conspiracy guy were played by Scott Morris 157 00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:47,870 of the Disney Indiana podcast at DisneyIndiana.com. 158 00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:52,910 Additional voices, as well as story and music, are by me, Clinton Alvord. 159 00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:56,090 Copyright 2025. All rights reserved. 160 00:13:56,630 --> 00:14:00,890 A word about our next episode in a moment. But first, a shout out to the comedy4cast 161 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:04,950 Patreon patrons, including our producer-level patron, 162 00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:07,990 Paul Barrie, from the A Window to the Magic podcast. 163 00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:14,250 You can support the show and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month. 164 00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:18,450 Just go to patreon.com and search for comedy4cast. 165 00:14:18,670 --> 00:14:21,590 That's all one word with the number 4. 166 00:14:21,830 --> 00:14:27,450 In our next episode, Lenny Treetop is back with what he describes as a whole 167 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:30,190 new podcasting format. Interesting. 168 00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:35,210 But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.