The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog-ear that for now.
This is comedy4cast Episode 819, Swimming to Milwaukee.
It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting. For more information and
to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
Let's get started with Odd News Plus.
Here are our odd news stories for Tuesday, August 27th, 2024.
First up, it's officially the start of pumpkin spice season.
This year, in addition to all the normal offerings, such as the Starbucks Pumpkin
Spice Latte, first introduced in 2003, one company hopes to flip the entire P.S.
Season on its head. Startup Fork Pumpkin Spice is introducing pumpkin spice
knives, forks, and spoons.
By using this spice-infused cutlery, literally everything you eat will have
that unmistakable, artificial flavors flavor that takes you back.
About a dozen years or so. A spokesperson for the company told Odd News Plus
that this is just the beginning.
They plan to manufacture pumpkin spice plates, cups, napkins, and straws.
They are still working on perfecting the pumpkin spice frying pan.
Now let's get to our actual for real odd news story.
Imagine spending years training for an epic athletic event only to be thwarted
by something totally unexpected.
No, this is not the story of an Olympic pole vaulter.
It's the tale of Jim Dreyer, a 60-year-old swimmer who recently attempted to
swim across Lake Michigan, a distance of over 80 miles.
Unfortunately, Dreyer was pulled from the water after three days,
by which point he had swum 60 miles.
Ooh, so close. I guess he just didn't have what it took.
Hold on. This odd news story is not quite what you think it is.
Dreyer might have made it to Milwaukee, but the two AA batteries in his GPS device were failing.
No problem, Dreyer thought. He had an inflatable catamaran with him to carry
his supplies, things like energy shakes and a flare gun.
He pulled two spare AA batteries out of a pouch on the catamaran and set them
down. But when he turned back a few seconds later, the batteries were gone.
I blame those jerk porpoises. This is exactly the type of shenanigans they think are funny.
Anyway, with no hope of using the GPS, Dreyer attempted to carry on with the
swim, navigating with a wrist compass and readings of the sky and waves.
But 24 hours later, members of a volunteer rescue team motored up to Dreyer.
They told him he had been swimming in a circle since his GPS system died.
Even if he immediately corrected course, he was 47 miles away from his goal.
More than half the total length of the swim.
It was over. Dreyer had also attempted this same swim in 2023.
But in that case, strong currents forced him to quit.
Why was Dreyer even trying to do this at 60 years old? Great question.
Surprising answer? to celebrate not only his 60th birthday, but also the 25th
anniversary of his successful trip across Lake Michigan in 1998.
In fact, Dreyer had made direct crossings of the five Great Lakes,
earning him the nickname The Shark.
I think the big mistake Dreyer made for the swim was his decision to give a
nod to that first crossing 25 years ago by adding 25 miles to to the length of the swim.
Honestly, a nice custom t-shirt or carrying a bit of anniversary cake in the
catamaran would have been just as good.
And one more odd thing. Back in 2014, Dreyer towed over one ton of bricks for
22 miles from Canada to Detroit across Lake St. Clair.
A swim that took over 30 hours to complete.
And before you ask, why would he do that? Okay, maybe it's too late and you already asked.
But he was trying to raise money and awareness for Habitat for Humanity. See?
I told you this odd news story wasn't quite what you thought.
And finally, NASCAR has just announced a major rules change to be implemented during the 2025 season.
In order to compete in the season, drivers must qualify by performing a series
of driving-related tasks.
These include safely navigating a preset obstacle course, scoring at least 80%
on a written driving exam, staying completely inside the lines when parking at the grocery store,
20 hours of community Uber or Lyft service, driving a minivan full of teenagers
to and from a concert, or teaching six teenagers how to use a stick shift,
successfully returning a rental car to the lot with less than one gallon of
gas in the tank, or less than one mile's worth of charge left on the battery
and being seen in public driving a smart car,
AMC Pacer, PT Cruiser, or Cybertruck.
Drivers who fail to complete all qualifying tasks will be required to take at
least five friends or relatives to the airport strictly as a favor,
as well as offer to pick them up when they return.
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Plus.
A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.
Story, voices, and original music by Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2024.
All rights reserved. Talk to you next time, but for now, that's it.
We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.
Music.