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The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog-ear that for now.

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This is comedy4cast Episode 819, Swimming to Milwaukee.

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It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting. For more information and

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to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

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Let's get started with Odd News Plus.

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Here are our odd news stories for Tuesday, August 27th, 2024.

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First up, it's officially the start of pumpkin spice season.

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This year, in addition to all the normal offerings, such as the Starbucks Pumpkin

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Spice Latte, first introduced in 2003, one company hopes to flip the entire P.S.

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Season on its head. Startup Fork Pumpkin Spice is introducing pumpkin spice

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knives, forks, and spoons.

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By using this spice-infused cutlery, literally everything you eat will have

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that unmistakable, artificial flavors flavor that takes you back.

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About a dozen years or so. A spokesperson for the company told Odd News Plus

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that this is just the beginning.

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They plan to manufacture pumpkin spice plates, cups, napkins, and straws.

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They are still working on perfecting the pumpkin spice frying pan.

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Now let's get to our actual for real odd news story.

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Imagine spending years training for an epic athletic event only to be thwarted

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by something totally unexpected.

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No, this is not the story of an Olympic pole vaulter.

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It's the tale of Jim Dreyer, a 60-year-old swimmer who recently attempted to

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swim across Lake Michigan, a distance of over 80 miles.

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Unfortunately, Dreyer was pulled from the water after three days,

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by which point he had swum 60 miles.

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Ooh, so close. I guess he just didn't have what it took.

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Hold on. This odd news story is not quite what you think it is.

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Dreyer might have made it to Milwaukee, but the two AA batteries in his GPS device were failing.

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No problem, Dreyer thought. He had an inflatable catamaran with him to carry

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his supplies, things like energy shakes and a flare gun.

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He pulled two spare AA batteries out of a pouch on the catamaran and set them

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down. But when he turned back a few seconds later, the batteries were gone.

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I blame those jerk porpoises. This is exactly the type of shenanigans they think are funny.

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Anyway, with no hope of using the GPS, Dreyer attempted to carry on with the

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swim, navigating with a wrist compass and readings of the sky and waves.

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But 24 hours later, members of a volunteer rescue team motored up to Dreyer.

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They told him he had been swimming in a circle since his GPS system died.

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Even if he immediately corrected course, he was 47 miles away from his goal.

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More than half the total length of the swim.

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It was over. Dreyer had also attempted this same swim in 2023.

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But in that case, strong currents forced him to quit.

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Why was Dreyer even trying to do this at 60 years old? Great question.

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Surprising answer? to celebrate not only his 60th birthday, but also the 25th

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anniversary of his successful trip across Lake Michigan in 1998.

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In fact, Dreyer had made direct crossings of the five Great Lakes,

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earning him the nickname The Shark.

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I think the big mistake Dreyer made for the swim was his decision to give a

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nod to that first crossing 25 years ago by adding 25 miles to to the length of the swim.

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Honestly, a nice custom t-shirt or carrying a bit of anniversary cake in the

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catamaran would have been just as good.

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And one more odd thing. Back in 2014, Dreyer towed over one ton of bricks for

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22 miles from Canada to Detroit across Lake St. Clair.

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A swim that took over 30 hours to complete.

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And before you ask, why would he do that? Okay, maybe it's too late and you already asked.

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But he was trying to raise money and awareness for Habitat for Humanity. See?

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I told you this odd news story wasn't quite what you thought.

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And finally, NASCAR has just announced a major rules change to be implemented during the 2025 season.

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In order to compete in the season, drivers must qualify by performing a series

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of driving-related tasks.

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These include safely navigating a preset obstacle course, scoring at least 80%

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on a written driving exam, staying completely inside the lines when parking at the grocery store,

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20 hours of community Uber or Lyft service, driving a minivan full of teenagers

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to and from a concert, or teaching six teenagers how to use a stick shift,

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successfully returning a rental car to the lot with less than one gallon of

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gas in the tank, or less than one mile's worth of charge left on the battery

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and being seen in public driving a smart car,

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AMC Pacer, PT Cruiser, or Cybertruck.

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Drivers who fail to complete all qualifying tasks will be required to take at

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least five friends or relatives to the airport strictly as a favor,

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as well as offer to pick them up when they return.

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That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Plus.

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A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.

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Story, voices, and original music by Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2024.

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All rights reserved. Talk to you next time, but for now, that's it.

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We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.

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Music.