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The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

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This is comedy4cast, episode 797. It all hinges on this.

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It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to

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try to put out a podcast every day in August.

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For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

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Here at the comedy4cast studios, we've been working on a new format for this year's Dog Days.

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Sure, like in years past, there will be an actual odd news story, but that's not all.

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So, let's get started with Odd News Plus.

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Here are our stories for Monday, August 5th, 2024.

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First up, according to the latest edition of the Trapper Keeper of the American

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Medical Association, doctors are no longer recommending that people aim to get

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in 10,000 steps a day for good health.

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The new guidelines suggest people should target walking 4,000 steps,

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shuffle for 500, lumber 200, stagger 50, trudge 20, and meander as much as possible.

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Strutting, striding, and strolling are optional. And sleepwalking is always encouraged.

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Now let's get to our actual for real odd news story.

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A recent TikTok video has taught people how to drink a bottle of Coke or Pepsi.

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It's all good. Peace and love, peace and love.

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But getting back to the story, you're probably wondering why people in 2024

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are scratching their heads over how to drink out of a plastic bottle.

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It turns out that as a part of an initiative to help curb the massive plastic

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waste problem affecting us all,

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the European Union has mandated that those screw-off caps on plastic bottles

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have to stay attached to the bottle.

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Apparently, bottle caps are one of the items most often carelessly discarded by consumers.

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That and fidget spinner display cases.

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I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. But it's the design of

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the tethered bottle cap that has people in a bit of a tizzy,

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or more accurately, in a flap, because everyone is finding it hard to drink out of the bottle.

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You see, when the cap is flapped back, it stops when it's halfway turned over

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and ends up looking like some kind of miniature submarine hatch.

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It can hit you in the nose or the side of the mouth, making it hard to take

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a sip of your favorite caramel-colored caffeine in sugar water.

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Okay, first of all, if you all hadn't been tossing these things on the ground

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like oak trees shaking off acorns, we might not be here in the first place. Just saying.

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But here we are. And also here is a video by a TikTok content creator who simply goes by the name Joanna.

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Her video starts off with her sharing her own frustrations with the new caps. Nice.

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Remember, it's always good to first identify with your audience and state the

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nature of the fizzy drink emergency.

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But then, in an M. Night Shyamalan twist, Joanna says that a friend at work

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explained that just unscrewing the cap and flipping it back is not how it works.

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I guess that means Joanna's friend is really the hero of the story,

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but her contribution will always be reduced to simply being a friend of Joanna.

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Joanna then holds up a plastic bottle, ooh, props, and notes that the hinges

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that attach the cap to the bottle are on a thin band.

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After you unscrew the cap, you simply drag the cap over the opening,

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bringing the hinges and the thin band along for the ride.

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The cap then sits snug against the neck of the bottle. out of the way.

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Mind blown. Now, Joanna, about those coffee cup lid flaps that never seem to

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want to stay in place. Got anything on that?

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No? How about your friend? And finally, our last story for today is a follow-up

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to a story we ran about six seconds ago.

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We were talking about those plastic bottle caps. It turns out that they break

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down, tossing even more microplastics into the environment.

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Seriously, microplastics are so much less fun than Micro Machines.

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Even worse, some caps break down faster than others.

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Researchers at the University of Leicester have demonstrated that the color

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of the cap can affect the rate at which the plastic breaks down.

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And it doesn't even matter if you spell color with or without a U.

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The researchers say that tests show black, white, and silver colorants in caps

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protects the plastic from damaging ultraviolet radiation, which changes its

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polymer structure, making it brittle.

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But hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, there's some positive news here.

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Now you know that if you don't want your outdoor furniture to disintegrate,

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forget colors like red, green, and blue.

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Get some nice black lawn furniture. It will last way longer,

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especially because outdoors, that stuff will heat up close to the temperature

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of the sun, and you'll never sit on it.

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That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Plus.

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A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.

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Story, voices, and original music by Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2024.

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All rights reserved. Talk to you next time. But for now, that's it.

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We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.

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Music.