The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.
This is comedy4cast, Episode 795, Flying Under the Radar.
It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to
try to put out a podcast every day in August.
For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
Here at the comedy4cast Studios, we've been working on a new format for this year's Dog Days.
Sure, like in years past, there will be an actual odd news story, but that's not all.
So, let's get started with Odd News Plus.
Here are our stories for Saturday, August 3rd, 2024.
First, a correction. On a previous edition of Odd News Plus, we identified Mr.
Charlie McCormick of Rumsford, Maine, as the author of the Magna Carta.
Mr. McCormick contacted us to dispute that claim, providing documentation that
proved he is only 41 years old.
Upon further investigation, it appears that the Magna Carta was created in 1215, giving Mr.
McCormick a nearly airtight alibi.
Well played. We retract the statement. But we stand by our belief that Mr.
McCormick was responsible for the Great Chicago Fire of 1871.
Now let's get to our actual for-real odd news story.
This past July, an Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper had an otherworldly encounter.
And it didn't even involve probing in all the wrong places.
Trooper Ryan VanVleck stopped an unusual UFO-shaped vehicle on the highway.
Okay, there's a lot to unpack here. First of all, we don't call them UFOs anymore.
Now we call them UAPs, because Unidentified Flying Objects is too easy to remember and to say.
So the Pentagon changed it to Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena.
Personally, I think that makes it easier to do that Manama-na song to it.
You know, anomalous phenomena-na-na.
Second, what do they mean by unusual? Is there some standard shape for a UAP?
Because if we're talking flying saucer, that's exactly what this thing looked
like. So there's nothing unusual about it.
A Cybertruck. Now that's an anomalous phenomenon.
But let's continue, shall we? Trooper VanVleck stopped the saucer on the Turner
Turnpike due to an obstructed tag.
Okay, not because it was a flying saucer, but because he couldn't see a sticker?
And how did he stop the saucer? Because those things can go pretty fast.
Do Oklahoma squad cars have tractor beams?
I mean, I guess it would make sense to have a tractor beam in Oklahoma.
Okay, that part checks out. The two occupants of the unusual vehicle,
again with the unusual, explained that they were headed to the annual UFO festival in Roswell, New Mexico.
Notice, they didn't say the two humans, or the two people, or the two folks. No, the two occupants.
No, these were clearly Klingons, or killer clowns from outer space, or space zombies.
And space zombies are the worst. Yeah, they move slow, but they're pod racers. Those go fast.
Trooper VanVleck decided not to issue a citation.
Which is interesting because, let's face it, alien joyriders aren't coming back
for a court appearance, so that's an easy automatic suspension of their hyperspace license.
Instead, the trooper took some selfies with the UFO. And one of the aliens is
clearly giving a sarcastic Vulcan salute.
And then the trooper let the driver and passenger go with a warning.
Which, finally, was great.
Because usually it's the aliens who are being all bossy. You know, surrender or die.
Take us to your leader. E.T. phone home.
I just hope Trooper VanVleck made the most of that warning.
Something like, stop dumping those damn monoliths everywhere or we'll start
sending you NFTs and Crocs.
And finally, the future. A source of endless fascination.
What does tomorrow have in store for us all? To find out, Odd News Plus posed
that question to some of today's greatest visionaries in the fields of technology,
urban planning, transportation, climate, economics, and communications.
What surprised us is they all agreed on this topic.
The future will bring us more episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants.
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Plus. A big thanks to the
comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.
Story, voices, and original music by Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2024.
All rights reserved. Talk to you next time. But for now, that's it.
We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.
Music.