Music. The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.
Oh, hi there! Clinton here, and welcome to my show.
In fact, this is the first episode of comedy4cast's 20th season. Wow!
This is comedy4cast, episode 792.
Danny Hillcrest previews more 2024 summer movies.
Brought to you by my amazing Patreon patrons, including the newest patron,
Krazy Joe's Concession Stand.
Thank you! To become a patron yourself, help me do what I do here,
and get episodes before everyone else, go to patreon.com/comedy4cast.
All one word with the number four.
Okay, on with the show.
And finally tonight, we normally end this broadcast with some sort of short,
feel-good human interest story that my producer thinks will magically make you
forget the preceding 25 minutes of doom and gloom.
But tonight, so that I, Buzz Scoop Cracker Jack Thomas, ace investigative field
reporter for the Middling Fair Courier Times Roman Bold Italic,
can feel good, I'm ending the newscast before a certain Danny...
Hi, Denny Hillcrest here.
Gah, not fast enough. So much for joy in Mudville. It looks like I got here
just in the nick-at-night of time for...
Danny Hillcrest's Sizzling Summer, Summer 2024, Movie Preview Reviews, Part 2.
Sponsored by Smellz-a-Lot Hand Soap.
Twice as effective when you use it two times a day.
I was hoping to avoid another one of these, Hillcrest.
Your movie previews are filled with inaccurate, convoluted, and preposterous
information, and you play clips that don't even appear in the movies.
Can I quote you on that, Buzz? Yes, you certainly can.
I love it. Buzz says my movie previews are filled with all kinds of information
and rare, never-before-seen clips.
Wait a second, that's not what I said. Let's beginningly get started with...
Danny Hillcrest's Sizzling Summer, Summer 2024, Movie Preview Reviews, Part 2.
Sponsored by Smellz-a-Lot Hand Soap. Now available in a soap-free formula for just $5 more.
First up, on July 3rd, it's Despicable Me 4, which, somehow,
is the sixth movie in this gravy train franchise.
In the film, Gru, the Gru crew, and a new Gru, Junior, too, have a new caper to... cape.
But, this time, the danger is dialed up to 10.999.9.
In this exclusive made-up clip, something has gone horribly wrong.
My Minions, we are gathered to say goodbye to your dear comrade Larry.
He may be gone, but... Butt!
Ahem. It has always been one of those great mysteries of the universe.
How many times can a Minion be squished, stretched, bonked, run over,
blown up, and shot into space before it is one time too many.
Well now we know because Carl here pushed dear Larry over the edge by zapping
him with my static ray wand.
And you can be sure you won't be getting this thing back anytime soon, Carl.
Aww. Let this be a warning to the rest of you my minion friends.
You are like Larry. You can only be crushed, shredded,
deep-fried, dropped from a hand glider, swallowed by a wallaby,
catapulted into a brick wall,
flash frozen, or shoved inside of a tiny bottle a grand total of 127 times!
Oh!
Larry! What? Oops! No, no, no, no, no!
My bad. Make that 128 times. Elimination.
Walloping Walter Cronkite. That seems a little dark, Hillcrest.
It's not dark, Buzz. It's just color graded that way.
And speakingly talking about color, you might not believe this,
Buzz, but the 1960s weren't all in black and white. It's true.
That's why Fly Me to the Moon, openingly premiering on July 12th, is in color.
This soaringly high-flying film stars Channing, Magic Cobra Tatum,
and Scarlet, my name means red, but I play Black Widow, Johansson.
They work for the 1960s NASA National Space Agency, the people who invented Tang.
Congratulations, Hillcrest! That is your 1,000th made-up bit of movie trivia!
I love it! In this never-before-filmed scene, Scarlett and Tatum are disgussingly
talking about a top-shelf, bottom-drawer secret project she has been working on.
What do you mean you're going to fake a moon landing?
It's just in case something, you know, goes wrong.
Nothing is going to go wrong. This is 1960s NASA.
You know, old school, Right Stuff. Failure is not an option, NASA.
We've practiced, like, really hard.
This mission is going to go off without a hitch. Yeah, well,
I looked at the flight plan, and even I spotted a huge problem.
What? Right here, page 14, when you're getting ready for trans-lunar injection.
Yeah? Look with your eyes right here.
The earth is round like a ball.
And on this printout, it's just a flat circle.
You...
That's...Wow, that is a huge problem.
Seriously, you'd better get this fake landing thing going right away.
Do you think we should tell Neil and Buzz about this?
Hillcrest, have you been eating weird mushrooms or something?
No, because I haven't washed my hands. Which means it's a great time to talkingly
speak about my sponsor, Smellz-a-Lot Hand Soap. You know how many bars of soap
leave a slimy mess in the soap dish?
I don't love that. But that never happens with Smellz-a-Lot hand soap.
That's because Smellz-a-Lot is one quarter iron filings. It only leaves a pleasant rust stain behind.
Smells-a-Lot hand soap. Every bar comes with a coupon for a free tetanus shot.
How can they sell something like that? Who asked for it? That's a great way
to segue into my next film preview review.
On July 19th, the winds changed to faster winds with the not-quite-a-sequel
sequel to the 1996 flick Twister, called Twisters.
They put the last S on for savings.
I guess they figured if it workingly made sense for the sequel to Alien,
why not? Check out the action in this not-a-clip clip.
We're getting too close, Tyler. Not a chance. This is where the fun begins. Yee-haw!
What are you doing? Getting out. To have a better look.
What? Come on! Get back here!
Macho idiot. Arrrrgh. Listen,
cowboy. I've dealt with a twister before, you know. Did you even bother to read my report?
Stop your worrying and enjoy it. The twister is way over there.
Don't you get it? It's not just one twister.
Unlike you, it has brains. Look at your scope. Okay, whatever.
Well, now that can't be. There's one over there and there and we're surrounded. Look out!
Incoming flying cow! It's headed right for my truck! It blew up my truck! Game over, man.
I sure hope things go better in Twister 3.
Well, that just about does it. I hope. Well, abandoningly put aside that hope,
Buzz, because on July 26th, Rhythm and Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds wrap bring
their iconic characters,
Deadpool and Wolverine, back to life on the Silver Surfer screen.
This movie pushes the peel and seal envelope by introducing a bold new concept. The Multiverse!
Using a sling ring pop portal, Daft Punk and Wolfman Jack hop from one franchise reference to another.
Check out this exclusive clip that never was.
Where are we now? And who do I have to claw?
Whoa, calm down, Sparky I think we've reached the end. What do you mean? The major boss battle?
I'm ready What? No, will you put those things away?
You're always so quick to bring
those things out. I mean, we've referenced every single thing in the MCU.
The extended MCU, the Marvel comics, all the Disney characters. Don't forget Star Wars.
Yeah, and The Simpsons, and Avatar, and... I don't know.
I think we need to move on to another franchise to keep going.
Hmm, Star Trek. With that Paramount dumpster fire going? No thank you.
Okay, Doctor Who.
Eh, time travel gives me a headache. Besides, there's something wrong with a
character that keeps coming back from the dead.
We need something rock solid. And if it's out there, we'll find it. Let's go!
Now are you done? Do you mean, am I done with...
Danny Hillcrest's Sizzling Summer, Summer 2024, Movie Preview Reviews, Part 2.
Sponsored by Smellz-a-Lot Hand Soap. Protective eyewear recommended.
Yes, Hillcrest, that is exactly what I mean. I sure am.
Deadpool, is this one it? Oh, absolutely not.
I'd rather be stuck in an endless Mint Mobile ad. Come on.
I love it.
In this episode as Scarlet and
Kate, Bonnie Kenderdine. Additional voices
as well as story and music without the use of ai not that there's anything wrong
with that by me Clinton Alvord copyright 2024 all rights reserved in our next
episode detective heart plays host to an unusual guest.
Naturally, chaos ensues. So stay subscribed.
It's the best way to make sure you never miss an episode.
You know, in case the algorithm decides to not show you my post about new content,
you'll find links over at comedy4cast.com.
But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye.
Music.