1 00:00:00,198 --> 00:00:00,833 Good morning, Christchurch. 2 00:00:03,689 --> 00:00:05,593 I you other there's certain days in your 3 00:00:05,593 --> 00:00:07,418 life where you can't remember all of it, 4 00:00:07,576 --> 00:00:09,735 but it's just like there's polaroid pictures that 5 00:00:09,735 --> 00:00:11,323 live in your imagination. 6 00:00:12,038 --> 00:00:13,729 My wedding day is 1 of those days 7 00:00:13,784 --> 00:00:16,246 where I don't remember everything throughout the course 8 00:00:16,246 --> 00:00:17,675 of the day, but I can remember, like, 9 00:00:18,008 --> 00:00:18,985 certain pictures 10 00:00:19,358 --> 00:00:20,867 at different points through the day. So I 11 00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:23,568 remember staining up front, the door open and 12 00:00:23,568 --> 00:00:25,792 my my soon to be wife standing at 13 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,964 the back in the the first vision of 14 00:00:27,964 --> 00:00:29,324 her in the dress. 1 of the things 15 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,644 I remember. I remember just after the service, 16 00:00:31,804 --> 00:00:34,299 the minister who appreciated our wedding. Forgot to 17 00:00:34,299 --> 00:00:35,659 tell us that we could kiss the, you 18 00:00:35,659 --> 00:00:37,500 know kiss 1 another. And so we're walking 19 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:39,420 down the aisle, and he's saying, hold everything, 20 00:00:39,579 --> 00:00:41,899 You know, just pause everything and and stop 21 00:00:41,899 --> 00:00:43,914 right there and you may now. Kissed your 22 00:00:43,914 --> 00:00:44,075 bride. 23 00:00:45,515 --> 00:00:46,234 I remember, 24 00:00:47,354 --> 00:00:50,315 I remember going outside and so much rice 25 00:00:50,315 --> 00:00:51,995 being thrown in my face. 26 00:00:52,490 --> 00:00:53,770 I don't think her face, but in my... 27 00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,149 There's like, an 28 00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:56,729 directed towards me. 29 00:00:57,929 --> 00:00:59,664 I can imagine some reasons why 30 00:01:00,342 --> 00:01:02,414 I remember the reception and, 31 00:01:03,051 --> 00:01:04,986 dancing friends laughter, 32 00:01:05,841 --> 00:01:07,355 I can remember sitting at a table. 33 00:01:07,847 --> 00:01:09,457 With my new wife and 34 00:01:10,068 --> 00:01:12,924 and little cousins, younger cousins coming up and 35 00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:15,066 being like, Matt, Matt, you just got married. 36 00:01:15,225 --> 00:01:16,674 Like, how do you feel. How does it 37 00:01:16,674 --> 00:01:18,591 feel to be married? Just these little kids 38 00:01:18,591 --> 00:01:20,269 coming up in all the excitement? 39 00:01:21,627 --> 00:01:25,151 I remember later that night. Carrying Lexi over 40 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,298 the threshold of our hotel room, and I'll 41 00:01:27,298 --> 00:01:29,127 never forget what happened next. While we're still 42 00:01:29,127 --> 00:01:32,045 dressed in our formal attire Tuxedo wedding dress 43 00:01:32,799 --> 00:01:34,865 we took out the Bible and read Genesis 44 00:01:34,865 --> 00:01:35,898 2 verse 25. 45 00:01:36,772 --> 00:01:39,553 Such a powerful verse and for anyone who's 46 00:01:39,553 --> 00:01:41,795 preparing to step into marriage I would commend 47 00:01:41,795 --> 00:01:43,469 this practice to you The first thing you 48 00:01:43,469 --> 00:01:45,381 do together is a newly wed couples to 49 00:01:45,381 --> 00:01:46,098 read this passage. 50 00:01:46,735 --> 00:01:48,424 Genesis 02:25 says this. 51 00:01:49,305 --> 00:01:51,384 The man and his wife were both naked 52 00:01:51,384 --> 00:01:52,825 and they felt no shame. 53 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:56,599 And I thought about that moment many times 54 00:01:56,599 --> 00:01:59,239 is a profound way to enter marriage because 55 00:01:59,239 --> 00:02:00,859 here is god's original 56 00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:03,500 intention in marriage that 2 people 57 00:02:03,814 --> 00:02:06,043 would somehow become 1 and that there would 58 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,932 be such an intimacy, such a vulnerability, 59 00:02:09,308 --> 00:02:11,139 such a revealing of a self, not just 60 00:02:11,139 --> 00:02:13,644 a physical nature this, but a total person 61 00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:16,088 naked this, a a sharing of the whole 62 00:02:16,088 --> 00:02:17,998 with another that you could stand in front 63 00:02:17,998 --> 00:02:19,055 of another person 64 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,844 and not turn away in shame. 65 00:02:22,645 --> 00:02:24,564 That you could be in relationship with another 66 00:02:24,564 --> 00:02:26,485 and not experience shame. 67 00:02:27,378 --> 00:02:29,444 And I've wondered for many years why has 68 00:02:29,603 --> 00:02:33,178 God put that particular description as the hallmark 69 00:02:33,178 --> 00:02:35,029 of marriage, not feeling shame 70 00:02:35,482 --> 00:02:37,327 in the most vulnerable moment in the presence 71 00:02:37,327 --> 00:02:37,883 of another. 72 00:02:39,474 --> 00:02:41,065 I think it's part in part because of 73 00:02:41,065 --> 00:02:43,293 what happens next, why this is included in 74 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,377 scripture because you know the story of Genesis 75 00:02:45,377 --> 00:02:45,696 3. 76 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,839 You know of the serpent deceiving eve, eve 77 00:02:49,839 --> 00:02:53,036 listening to Satan's deception of Adam's failure to 78 00:02:53,036 --> 00:02:55,122 act of just his complacency sitting 79 00:02:55,732 --> 00:02:58,348 beside her. Of Adam and Eve together not 80 00:02:58,348 --> 00:03:01,562 trusting God, trusting their own desires and disobey 81 00:03:01,778 --> 00:03:04,903 God. And for the first time, the consequence 82 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,844 it's not just sin itself, but the concept 83 00:03:07,364 --> 00:03:09,282 of sin come into humanity? 1 of the 84 00:03:09,282 --> 00:03:10,241 first things that happens? 85 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,518 What do they experience? They experience shame. 86 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,696 Where they just went from 87 00:03:16,155 --> 00:03:18,803 their in a vulnerable position with 1 another 88 00:03:18,803 --> 00:03:21,754 feeling no shame now. They feel shame. They 89 00:03:21,754 --> 00:03:24,705 noticed their naked this there, they remove themselves 90 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,271 from 1 another. They actually hide from 1 91 00:03:27,271 --> 00:03:29,343 another. They take fig leaves. We've all seen 92 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,813 the pictures before of their own making to 93 00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:34,442 try and cover their naked inadequate. They're not 94 00:03:34,442 --> 00:03:36,765 able to cover themselves, but there's a a 95 00:03:36,765 --> 00:03:38,671 rejection of 1 another. There's a blaming that 96 00:03:38,671 --> 00:03:41,132 happens. God says, what happened here? Well, the 97 00:03:41,132 --> 00:03:42,562 wife... She told me to do it Well 98 00:03:42,562 --> 00:03:44,388 it the serpent told me there's this blaming 99 00:03:44,388 --> 00:03:46,310 game that that goes on all of this 100 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:46,810 happens 101 00:03:47,265 --> 00:03:48,776 as a consequence of sin. 102 00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:52,569 Adam and eve were together and felt no 103 00:03:52,768 --> 00:03:54,855 shame, and suddenly, the first consequence, 104 00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:56,021 isolation, 105 00:03:56,894 --> 00:03:59,829 separation, isolation from god fear hiding exposure, 106 00:04:00,305 --> 00:04:00,805 feeling 107 00:04:01,114 --> 00:04:01,353 posed. 108 00:04:03,426 --> 00:04:05,361 Has to be 1 of the most important 109 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,529 spiritual lessons that we realize is that shame 110 00:04:08,529 --> 00:04:11,417 is not a part of God's original creation. 111 00:04:12,536 --> 00:04:14,533 The man and woman were naked together and 112 00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:16,850 felt no shame is only in our fallen 113 00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:20,291 world that shame enters as the emotion we 114 00:04:20,291 --> 00:04:20,791 feel 115 00:04:21,168 --> 00:04:22,601 when we feel exposed. 116 00:04:23,716 --> 00:04:25,548 So we're gonna continue this summer series we've 117 00:04:25,548 --> 00:04:28,520 been in today called crying upwards and crying 118 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,199 upwards. It's how we think about the psalms. 119 00:04:30,439 --> 00:04:32,199 The rest of the scriptures kind of god's 120 00:04:32,199 --> 00:04:34,600 word to us, but the psalms are god's 121 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,420 appointed words 122 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,805 crying up from humans perspective, 123 00:04:38,442 --> 00:04:40,673 us crying up to the lord, and we've 124 00:04:40,673 --> 00:04:41,730 been going this summer 125 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:44,106 through all sorts of different emotions, and it 126 00:04:44,106 --> 00:04:45,930 does seem like we are spending more time 127 00:04:45,930 --> 00:04:47,674 in some of the darker and more negative 128 00:04:47,674 --> 00:04:50,345 emotions. We've gone through anger and loneliness and 129 00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:51,896 isolation and envy, 130 00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:55,077 and greed, and these kind of emotional responses. 131 00:04:55,316 --> 00:04:57,559 And we will... Next week, we'll get to 132 00:04:57,559 --> 00:04:59,949 talk about glad. So there is some relief 133 00:04:59,949 --> 00:05:02,101 on the horizon. But today, we're are gonna 134 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:03,694 talk about the emotion of shame. 135 00:05:05,144 --> 00:05:07,861 And remember, our big thesis is that spiritual 136 00:05:07,861 --> 00:05:09,000 with maturity 137 00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:12,735 and spiritual formation is directly connected to your 138 00:05:12,735 --> 00:05:15,137 emotional mature idiot. And the reason for that 139 00:05:15,137 --> 00:05:18,079 is if if you have an emotional response 140 00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:19,908 towards something, and you just deny it or 141 00:05:19,908 --> 00:05:21,816 you're not aware of it, you can't invite 142 00:05:21,816 --> 00:05:23,422 the holy spirit to come and meet you 143 00:05:23,422 --> 00:05:23,980 at that place. 144 00:05:24,697 --> 00:05:27,166 So your emotional life is directly connected to 145 00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:29,237 your own spiritual formation so that you can 146 00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:31,786 invite god into all areas of your life. 147 00:05:32,357 --> 00:05:34,581 And shame is 1 area, none of us 148 00:05:34,581 --> 00:05:34,978 wanna touch. 149 00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:37,916 It is an emotion we want to avoid. 150 00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:39,901 It's 1 that when you think of it, 151 00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:41,663 I just think of the word shame I'm 152 00:05:41,663 --> 00:05:43,327 like I wanna push at it at a 153 00:05:43,327 --> 00:05:45,308 distance. I don't want it to get too 154 00:05:45,308 --> 00:05:48,820 close to me. But you remember emotions reveal 155 00:05:49,129 --> 00:05:50,963 our soul. Like a check engine light on 156 00:05:50,963 --> 00:05:53,595 the car, emotions reveal something is going on. 157 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,387 And so even though shame is painful and 158 00:05:56,387 --> 00:05:57,663 scary. This is what I want us to 159 00:05:57,663 --> 00:05:59,694 talk about today. And it's what next to 160 00:05:59,832 --> 00:06:00,550 our psalm. 161 00:06:01,985 --> 00:06:03,740 And the reason especially I wanna talk about 162 00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:06,292 it is I believe shame is not just 163 00:06:06,292 --> 00:06:08,286 something to be avoided, but shame is actually 164 00:06:08,286 --> 00:06:08,899 a gift 165 00:06:09,738 --> 00:06:12,156 that allows us to experience a fresh 166 00:06:12,535 --> 00:06:13,574 the gift of the gospel. 167 00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:16,211 Shame, here's where we're gonna go today. Shame 168 00:06:16,211 --> 00:06:18,849 is a gift that allows you to experience 169 00:06:18,849 --> 00:06:21,307 a fresh the power of the gospel. 170 00:06:21,862 --> 00:06:23,764 Let's pray together and and then we'll talk. 171 00:06:25,524 --> 00:06:27,509 Heavenly father, would you send your holy spirit 172 00:06:27,509 --> 00:06:29,676 to us right now. This is a, scary 173 00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:32,693 topic to discuss. But we also believe 174 00:06:34,273 --> 00:06:34,911 You love us. 175 00:06:36,026 --> 00:06:38,098 As we just heard in ephesians, you love 176 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,532 us more than we can imagine. 177 00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:42,161 You love us more than shame would cause 178 00:06:42,161 --> 00:06:43,277 us to believe. 179 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,442 You love us. 180 00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,388 So as you come and send your spirit 181 00:06:48,388 --> 00:06:50,719 and speak through your word that we would 182 00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:51,413 receive a fresh. 183 00:06:52,303 --> 00:06:53,281 Power of 184 00:06:53,815 --> 00:06:56,519 Jesus cleansing blood. We asking in your name, 185 00:06:56,678 --> 00:06:57,633 lord. Amen, 186 00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:01,302 Okay. I think Shame might be 1 of 187 00:07:01,302 --> 00:07:03,683 the biggest motivator in all of our lives. 188 00:07:04,398 --> 00:07:06,675 We do everything we can to avoid it 189 00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,952 we don't want to experience it, but it 190 00:07:08,952 --> 00:07:11,509 runs across every single human who's at least 191 00:07:11,509 --> 00:07:13,187 a couple of years old. You can see 192 00:07:13,187 --> 00:07:14,785 this up close. If you've ever spent time 193 00:07:14,785 --> 00:07:17,830 with kids, maybe your parents or your god 194 00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,026 parents or you're an answer or an uncle, 195 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,098 you spend some time with kids. That moment 196 00:07:21,098 --> 00:07:22,214 when a kid finds out, 197 00:07:23,091 --> 00:07:25,491 that they... They've... Like, you've been paying attention 198 00:07:25,491 --> 00:07:27,240 while they're fighting. Like, you know, you've been 199 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,909 watching them, you know the whole situation that's 200 00:07:28,909 --> 00:07:30,180 going on? They told you they were gonna 201 00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:31,949 do something. They're gonna put it their clothes 202 00:07:31,949 --> 00:07:33,310 or or do... Or put at the toys 203 00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:34,829 or something like that, and they get found 204 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,349 out that they didn't do it or you 205 00:07:36,349 --> 00:07:37,069 catch them in a lie. 206 00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:40,589 What little kids often do is they react 207 00:07:40,589 --> 00:07:42,989 back They scream. They yell. They deny it. 208 00:07:43,148 --> 00:07:45,553 They run away, they have this strong emotional 209 00:07:45,689 --> 00:07:47,674 reaction to being found out to being exposed. 210 00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:49,580 By the way, adults, did you do the 211 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:49,977 same things. 212 00:07:50,707 --> 00:07:52,776 You're just better at covering it up, than 213 00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,208 the kids are. The kids so you have... 214 00:07:54,446 --> 00:07:56,356 And you see it with kids this everyone 215 00:07:56,356 --> 00:07:59,141 has immediate emotional reaction to shame. 216 00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:02,665 As a quick aside, parents and god parents, 217 00:08:03,063 --> 00:08:06,036 especially, how you respond to a child 218 00:08:06,493 --> 00:08:08,886 or a young teenager when they're in a 219 00:08:08,886 --> 00:08:11,231 moment of shame is so significant 220 00:08:11,686 --> 00:08:13,913 because you parents and you god parents are 221 00:08:13,913 --> 00:08:14,231 often, 222 00:08:15,026 --> 00:08:17,174 you're playing the role of what kids think 223 00:08:17,253 --> 00:08:20,061 God is. What God's love is like. So 224 00:08:20,061 --> 00:08:22,618 if a kid is in shame and and 225 00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:24,136 sharing that they're in some form of shame 226 00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:26,146 with you and you were respond by piling 227 00:08:26,146 --> 00:08:28,380 more shame onto them. They'll grow up with 228 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:30,455 such a warp perspective that they think shame 229 00:08:30,455 --> 00:08:32,782 must be avoided at all costs. And they'll 230 00:08:32,782 --> 00:08:35,089 never have the opportunity to receive the gift 231 00:08:35,089 --> 00:08:37,260 of shame, which is to receive the power 232 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,305 of how Jesus heals us from our shame. 233 00:08:39,877 --> 00:08:41,945 So careful as you're as you're responding to 234 00:08:41,945 --> 00:08:43,775 a child and shame, not to respond in 235 00:08:43,775 --> 00:08:46,241 anger or resentment, but to stay connected, 236 00:08:46,972 --> 00:08:48,324 even in these difficult moments. 237 00:08:50,869 --> 00:08:51,665 I wanna talk about, 238 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:55,019 a book called the soul of shame. It's 239 00:08:55,019 --> 00:08:55,892 by Kurt Thompson. 240 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,467 And Kurt Thompson, he is a psychiatrist and 241 00:08:59,467 --> 00:08:59,967 he's 242 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:02,422 Christian, and he's written this book a soul 243 00:09:02,422 --> 00:09:04,174 shame. The whole thing. It's pretty short, about 244 00:09:04,174 --> 00:09:06,585 200 pages, and it... It's just an an 245 00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:07,518 exposition on shame. 246 00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:09,987 And he list some of the common ways 247 00:09:09,987 --> 00:09:11,059 we as as 248 00:09:11,596 --> 00:09:14,010 teenagers as young adults and as older adults 249 00:09:14,068 --> 00:09:15,822 experience shame, And I'm gonna give you a 250 00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,657 number of examples, but there could be countless 251 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,331 more, but see if any of these resonate 252 00:09:19,331 --> 00:09:21,498 with you. As you think about, how you 253 00:09:21,498 --> 00:09:22,294 felt shame before. 254 00:09:23,489 --> 00:09:25,401 He says sometimes you get rejected from a 255 00:09:25,401 --> 00:09:27,711 job, even though you're qualified for the job, 256 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,559 and now you have to tell others Hey 257 00:09:29,718 --> 00:09:31,549 I was excited about this, and it it 258 00:09:31,549 --> 00:09:32,903 didn't come through. I got the rejection. 259 00:09:33,779 --> 00:09:35,792 Maybe you have a family member whose 260 00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:38,733 alcoholism is on display in front of your 261 00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:40,887 friends. You're at a gathering or party, and 262 00:09:40,887 --> 00:09:42,802 this family member is behaving in a way 263 00:09:42,802 --> 00:09:44,158 that brings shame towards you. 264 00:09:45,609 --> 00:09:47,288 You lose a major account or a project 265 00:09:47,288 --> 00:09:49,286 at work. You have a breakup of a 266 00:09:49,286 --> 00:09:51,523 marriage, especially if you're in the church, a 267 00:09:51,523 --> 00:09:53,921 breakup of a marriage. You have a child 268 00:09:53,921 --> 00:09:56,090 or you have an adult child who is 269 00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,237 dis interested in God, but you're known as 270 00:09:58,237 --> 00:09:59,033 the holy couple. 271 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,452 You're aging and you're losing your looks or 272 00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:04,838 your figure or your hair or your smile. 273 00:10:06,286 --> 00:10:08,279 You have a chronic illness that that you 274 00:10:08,279 --> 00:10:10,831 believe defines you because you're constantly asking for 275 00:10:10,831 --> 00:10:10,990 help. 276 00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:13,542 You're at a family or reunion and everyone 277 00:10:13,542 --> 00:10:15,311 wants to know come you're not married or 278 00:10:15,311 --> 00:10:16,428 how come you don't have kids. 279 00:10:17,544 --> 00:10:19,777 And the list could go on because almost 280 00:10:19,777 --> 00:10:23,899 any situation is liable of producing shame in. 281 00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:27,039 So what is shame? I wanna offer this 282 00:10:27,039 --> 00:10:29,129 definition. This is just my own as I 283 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,172 prayed and and thought and thought about this 284 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,682 topic this week. Here's what I I put 285 00:10:32,682 --> 00:10:33,134 together 286 00:10:33,573 --> 00:10:35,968 I think Shame is the emotional response to 287 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,442 feeling exposed. Think again of Adam and Eve. 288 00:10:38,841 --> 00:10:42,287 The emotional response. I feel suddenly exposed especially 289 00:10:42,287 --> 00:10:45,318 morally. You feel caught in something or exposed 290 00:10:45,318 --> 00:10:46,354 in some kind of way. 291 00:10:47,311 --> 00:10:50,023 It creates shame creates a vulnerable moment where 292 00:10:50,023 --> 00:10:52,976 judgment looms leaving us, feeling humility, not just 293 00:10:52,976 --> 00:10:54,958 judgment from God, but judgment from another person. 294 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,859 Leaving us feeling humiliated un worthy or disgusted. 295 00:10:59,818 --> 00:11:02,454 Shame is associated with pain, and therefore, our 296 00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:03,433 response to shame 297 00:11:03,812 --> 00:11:04,871 often is 298 00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:07,584 just disguised is anger or fear. You might 299 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,504 respond in anger. You might respond in fear, 300 00:11:10,304 --> 00:11:13,024 but maybe underneath shame is what's going on. 301 00:11:13,997 --> 00:11:15,433 And to speak a little bit more about 302 00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:17,985 shame, it's often talked about that guilt. When 303 00:11:17,985 --> 00:11:19,660 we think about the difference between guilt and 304 00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:22,133 shame, guilt is something I did. I feel 305 00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:23,982 guilty for this act action that I did. 306 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,890 Shame is I feel un about myself. 307 00:11:28,528 --> 00:11:30,841 Shame is at the level of your identity. 308 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,995 Shame strikes our identity. So you might think 309 00:11:32,995 --> 00:11:34,447 of the cluster of things that make up 310 00:11:34,447 --> 00:11:36,842 your identity for me, example... For example, how 311 00:11:36,921 --> 00:11:38,358 I think about myself. I'm a Christian. 312 00:11:38,917 --> 00:11:41,472 I'm a white male. I'm an American. I'm 313 00:11:41,472 --> 00:11:41,791 intelligent. 314 00:11:42,764 --> 00:11:45,238 Shame strikes at your identity. The central part 315 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,553 of you to say, 1 of these this 316 00:11:47,553 --> 00:11:48,990 parts of you. 1 of these clusters of 317 00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:52,116 you is un is flawed is discuss testing 318 00:11:52,116 --> 00:11:54,185 is repulsive in some form of way. 319 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,844 And every human experience is shame, even those 320 00:11:57,844 --> 00:12:00,961 who don't know God. Everyone experiences shame in 321 00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:03,347 some way because at our core level, we 322 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:04,938 were made by loving God to live in 323 00:12:04,938 --> 00:12:07,659 a relationship with him. And when we become 324 00:12:07,659 --> 00:12:10,523 out of alignment with him. That disconnect, we 325 00:12:10,523 --> 00:12:13,092 will feel exposed and will feel this 326 00:12:13,403 --> 00:12:15,254 of shame. Remember, Shame is not 327 00:12:15,629 --> 00:12:18,571 introduced to humanity until after sin is in 328 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,048 the world. 329 00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:21,847 So shame is a response of soul of 330 00:12:21,847 --> 00:12:24,397 being exposed and out of alignment to how 331 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,310 God made you. You can think of it 332 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:28,563 like this shame is an uncovering 333 00:12:29,274 --> 00:12:31,190 It is is feeling like I did not 334 00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:33,265 want to be uncovered and yet I am 335 00:12:33,265 --> 00:12:35,579 uncovered to other people or to God. I'm 336 00:12:35,579 --> 00:12:37,335 uncovered in a way that is uncomfortable for 337 00:12:37,335 --> 00:12:38,866 me. That I wasn't wanting to be. 338 00:12:39,663 --> 00:12:41,816 It can over us as the fear of 339 00:12:41,816 --> 00:12:44,446 being found out or of maintaining the disconnect 340 00:12:44,446 --> 00:12:47,091 between our public and private life's begin to 341 00:12:47,091 --> 00:12:49,557 grow. Where everyone sees a public version of 342 00:12:49,557 --> 00:12:51,387 us, but a private life where secrets are 343 00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:54,091 kept. That's this this growing rift that she 344 00:12:54,091 --> 00:12:54,887 makes in our lives. 345 00:12:55,539 --> 00:12:57,794 And because of this unchecked shame 346 00:12:58,171 --> 00:12:59,288 is very dangerous. 347 00:12:59,926 --> 00:13:02,239 It's actually quite dangerous. If you think you 348 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:03,696 hear stories of pastors 349 00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:06,644 or of Christian leaders to have moral failings. 350 00:13:07,285 --> 00:13:08,565 And it comes to light that, 351 00:13:09,445 --> 00:13:11,044 behind the scenes, you thought they were a 352 00:13:11,044 --> 00:13:12,565 certain way. You thought they had this appearance, 353 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:13,858 but behind the scenes, 354 00:13:14,737 --> 00:13:17,054 they... There was a an affair that happened 355 00:13:17,054 --> 00:13:20,899 or porn addiction, or, they were abusing alcohol 356 00:13:20,899 --> 00:13:22,808 or medicine some kind of way. And you 357 00:13:22,808 --> 00:13:24,319 thought how in the world did that happen? 358 00:13:24,797 --> 00:13:26,546 Almost every time it is because there is 359 00:13:26,546 --> 00:13:28,948 an identity of them a public identity and 360 00:13:28,948 --> 00:13:30,065 then there was a private life. 361 00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:32,857 There was shame that was growing, and they 362 00:13:32,857 --> 00:13:35,648 were unwilling to ask for to seek help 363 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,802 to share with others what was going on. 364 00:13:37,961 --> 00:13:40,130 And as this gulf gets wider, it becomes 365 00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:43,161 harder and harder to cross. Unchecked shame is 366 00:13:43,161 --> 00:13:44,198 actually very dangerous. 367 00:13:45,235 --> 00:13:48,207 Shame prefers to keep us hidden and isolated 368 00:13:48,265 --> 00:13:50,348 again to of Adam and eve, hiding and 369 00:13:50,348 --> 00:13:52,176 isolating from God and from 1 another. 370 00:13:53,607 --> 00:13:55,140 So our song today 371 00:13:55,594 --> 00:13:58,073 our song today describes a moment of shame. 372 00:13:58,232 --> 00:14:00,301 And the Psalm, he's writing in the first 373 00:14:00,301 --> 00:14:01,971 person, but he's kind of writing on behalf 374 00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:03,483 of the whole nation. This is a moment 375 00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:05,313 where it seems like on the nation of 376 00:14:05,393 --> 00:14:07,580 Israel has been taken over and 377 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,360 and the the the Psalm can't understand really 378 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,299 what is happening, but feels personally 379 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,360 shamed in this moment. 380 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,012 You can look at versus 15 and 16. 381 00:14:18,202 --> 00:14:20,582 He writes my humiliation is daily before me. 382 00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:22,962 Shame has covered my my face because of 383 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,628 the tau of the markers and the bla 384 00:14:24,628 --> 00:14:27,191 fevers. He's describing the face. Think about shame 385 00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:29,604 connected to your face. Often when you feel 386 00:14:29,662 --> 00:14:31,176 ashamed. You can see it that a person's 387 00:14:31,176 --> 00:14:33,662 face. I know my face. I I turn 388 00:14:33,662 --> 00:14:35,438 beet red when I feel 389 00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:37,809 embarrassed or shamed in some kind of way. 390 00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:40,360 You feel flushed. You're red... We even have 391 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,477 a saying. You're red faced. 392 00:14:42,368 --> 00:14:44,278 You can see shame on the face. Someone 393 00:14:44,278 --> 00:14:46,507 feeling ashamed often won't look you in the 394 00:14:46,507 --> 00:14:46,746 eyes. 395 00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,951 They'll avert their gaze because there's a a 396 00:14:50,008 --> 00:14:51,600 humiliation that they feel in the moment. 397 00:14:53,047 --> 00:14:54,957 People are making fun of the Psalm because 398 00:14:54,957 --> 00:14:56,628 of the tau of the markers and the 399 00:14:56,628 --> 00:14:59,254 bla femur. They're mocking him again attacking at 400 00:14:59,254 --> 00:15:02,133 the level of identity. This who you are? 401 00:15:02,372 --> 00:15:05,395 I'm attacking that very. I'm mocking, who... What 402 00:15:05,395 --> 00:15:06,986 you hold your identity and you think you're 403 00:15:06,986 --> 00:15:08,993 a special chosen person and of God and 404 00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:10,911 look at you now, there's a making fun 405 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,669 of a core identity aspect. 406 00:15:14,028 --> 00:15:15,626 As you read on through the psalm, 407 00:15:16,345 --> 00:15:19,151 it becomes clear actually that God has allowed 408 00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:20,267 this shame to happen. 409 00:15:20,984 --> 00:15:23,455 He's actually allowed it in the life of 410 00:15:23,535 --> 00:15:25,222 Israel, the life of the Psalm. So the 411 00:15:25,301 --> 00:15:27,126 Psalm is upset because he wants to know, 412 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,111 all this has come upon us, 413 00:15:29,904 --> 00:15:31,254 but we haven't forgotten you. 414 00:15:32,047 --> 00:15:33,493 Though you thrust this down into a place 415 00:15:33,493 --> 00:15:35,321 of measure you've covered us over with the 416 00:15:35,321 --> 00:15:37,728 deep darkness. So something has happened that causes 417 00:15:37,785 --> 00:15:38,341 this shame. 418 00:15:39,454 --> 00:15:41,654 The Psalm admits guide you knew about it 419 00:15:42,493 --> 00:15:44,411 You knew what was going on and you 420 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:45,529 allowed this to happen. 421 00:15:46,248 --> 00:15:48,245 You allowed this shame to happen in my 422 00:15:48,245 --> 00:15:50,336 life. It you're forcing us down into the 423 00:15:50,336 --> 00:15:52,252 darkness. Maybe you're even putting some of the 424 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,529 shame on right now, God. 425 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,882 And the question is that you wanna ask 426 00:15:56,882 --> 00:15:58,294 as you wrestle with this is 427 00:15:58,733 --> 00:15:59,052 Why? 428 00:16:00,247 --> 00:16:02,899 Why would a good and loving God allow 429 00:16:03,594 --> 00:16:06,120 this nation of Israel or this particular person 430 00:16:06,556 --> 00:16:09,018 to experience shame. Why does he allow them 431 00:16:09,018 --> 00:16:11,481 to go through this process of shame? To 432 00:16:11,481 --> 00:16:13,228 answer this question, you have to think about 433 00:16:13,228 --> 00:16:14,912 how do you respond when name comes. 434 00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,461 When you feel overwhelmed by shame, how do 435 00:16:17,461 --> 00:16:19,851 you respond and there's really only 3 options 436 00:16:19,851 --> 00:16:22,799 that we'll think about. Option 1, when shame 437 00:16:22,799 --> 00:16:24,723 comes, you can deny it and you can 438 00:16:24,723 --> 00:16:25,597 associate from shame. 439 00:16:26,313 --> 00:16:28,379 And you just deny it. You... It feels 440 00:16:28,379 --> 00:16:30,286 so painful. It feels so bad. You push 441 00:16:30,286 --> 00:16:32,352 it away and deny this part. You can 442 00:16:32,352 --> 00:16:34,985 try to out run it, ignore, dis associate 443 00:16:34,985 --> 00:16:37,442 from it, avoid it because shame is painful. 444 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,924 This is often the role that many Christians 445 00:16:40,138 --> 00:16:40,296 take. 446 00:16:41,027 --> 00:16:42,936 Too afraid to to let others see our 447 00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:45,322 dirty laundry too afraid to make changes. Where... 448 00:16:45,799 --> 00:16:47,883 What what often happens for Christians is you 449 00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,956 have a vision of yourself as a a 450 00:16:49,956 --> 00:16:51,869 holy moral good person. 451 00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:54,978 And we're not often as good or holy 452 00:16:54,978 --> 00:16:56,070 or as moral or as we think that 453 00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:56,509 we are. 454 00:16:57,227 --> 00:16:59,062 And so we don't wanna confront this part 455 00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:00,818 of our life, so we we push or 456 00:17:00,818 --> 00:17:02,414 we we push... I know I've done this 457 00:17:02,414 --> 00:17:04,901 for years, and I've shared stories before. Of 458 00:17:04,901 --> 00:17:06,887 how as a young minister, I was addicted 459 00:17:06,887 --> 00:17:08,499 to success and addicted to 460 00:17:09,508 --> 00:17:12,446 whatever it took to keep rooms filled with 461 00:17:12,446 --> 00:17:14,534 people because I was acting out of shame. 462 00:17:14,694 --> 00:17:16,129 I couldn't bear the thought that I'm not 463 00:17:16,129 --> 00:17:18,761 a good enough minister to to minister to 464 00:17:18,761 --> 00:17:19,001 others. 465 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,430 She denied associate that your your identity that 466 00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:24,040 you're running from a shame. 467 00:17:25,157 --> 00:17:27,012 The problem with this approach 468 00:17:27,628 --> 00:17:30,340 is remember that your spiritual maturity in your 469 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,990 emotional maturity are often link 470 00:17:33,463 --> 00:17:36,250 So if you can't invite God into this 471 00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:38,401 area that's causing great shame in your life. 472 00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:40,653 You're missing 473 00:17:41,365 --> 00:17:43,684 how God actually wants to change you. How 474 00:17:43,684 --> 00:17:45,205 he wants to grow you, How he wants 475 00:17:45,205 --> 00:17:47,285 to empower you, How he wants to bless 476 00:17:47,285 --> 00:17:49,295 you, How he wants to move you to 477 00:17:49,295 --> 00:17:50,726 make you into a new person to give 478 00:17:50,726 --> 00:17:52,634 you the identity of Christ. If you can't 479 00:17:52,634 --> 00:17:54,701 invite him into the area of your shame. 480 00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:57,166 You're missing out on the holy spirit actually 481 00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:57,961 interacting in your life. 482 00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:00,549 So this process of 483 00:18:01,006 --> 00:18:02,601 denying or dis associating from shame, 484 00:18:04,197 --> 00:18:06,191 it doesn't actually work and helping you grow 485 00:18:06,191 --> 00:18:08,994 closer to God. Actually, it's quite dangerous as 486 00:18:08,994 --> 00:18:09,630 many of you know, 487 00:18:10,504 --> 00:18:13,125 what'll eventually happen anyway is it'll always come 488 00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:13,364 out. 489 00:18:14,396 --> 00:18:16,242 As as much as try to make a 490 00:18:16,242 --> 00:18:17,997 difference between your public and your private life, 491 00:18:18,156 --> 00:18:20,230 the private life will always come out because 492 00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:21,825 there is no such thing as private sin. 493 00:18:22,463 --> 00:18:24,138 Sin is always public because it's always before 494 00:18:24,218 --> 00:18:26,710 God and it always affects others. So you 495 00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:28,630 can't maintain the image even that you're trying 496 00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:31,349 to maintain anyway. This way doesn't work. Option 497 00:18:31,349 --> 00:18:32,470 1. Option 2, 498 00:18:33,589 --> 00:18:36,558 you can accept and embrace shame. So if 499 00:18:36,558 --> 00:18:37,993 option 1 is deny it, then option 2, 500 00:18:38,153 --> 00:18:39,987 the pain of shame is so shame is 501 00:18:39,987 --> 00:18:41,502 so great. You just step into it and 502 00:18:41,502 --> 00:18:43,176 say well, Embrace it. This is who I 503 00:18:43,176 --> 00:18:45,130 am. This is my identity and I'll live 504 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,309 in this kind of way. 505 00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:49,109 This is often the position our culture takes. 506 00:18:49,669 --> 00:18:51,190 Things that might breathe in shame. You think 507 00:18:51,190 --> 00:18:54,713 of particularly greedy lifestyle or another lifestyle, You 508 00:18:54,713 --> 00:18:55,669 embrace it and just say this is who 509 00:18:55,749 --> 00:18:56,626 Am. I don't care. 510 00:18:57,343 --> 00:18:58,698 This is my identity. And if you don't 511 00:18:58,698 --> 00:18:59,828 like it, that's your problem them. 512 00:19:00,624 --> 00:19:02,694 And maybe some of you saw the opening 513 00:19:02,694 --> 00:19:04,604 of the Paris Olympics, and I know a 514 00:19:04,604 --> 00:19:06,355 lot of people are talking about this this 515 00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:07,332 moment of Mock 516 00:19:07,804 --> 00:19:09,802 of Christians at the last supper by men 517 00:19:09,802 --> 00:19:10,441 dressed women. 518 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,658 And just kind of this moment of of 519 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,715 degradation and just shame of saying, this is 520 00:19:15,715 --> 00:19:17,648 who I am. And I will be this 521 00:19:17,648 --> 00:19:19,006 way and you must accept it. 522 00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,522 And I know there's different cultural commentary going 523 00:19:22,522 --> 00:19:23,880 on around this moment. 524 00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:26,452 For me it's 1 of sadness, 525 00:19:27,091 --> 00:19:27,411 actually, 526 00:19:28,609 --> 00:19:31,646 because to embrace shame still doesn't actually deal 527 00:19:31,646 --> 00:19:34,135 with the core... The poor problem of I 528 00:19:34,135 --> 00:19:34,773 feeling un worthy. 529 00:19:36,368 --> 00:19:37,804 Right? Like, III 530 00:19:37,804 --> 00:19:39,479 can stand and dress however I want, and 531 00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:40,994 I can do whatever I want, but I'm 532 00:19:40,994 --> 00:19:43,585 not actually solving the I do feel un 533 00:19:43,644 --> 00:19:44,125 at core. 534 00:19:45,404 --> 00:19:47,325 Now idea for this, the the problem of 535 00:19:47,325 --> 00:19:48,204 this approach though, 536 00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:50,959 here's the problem of this 1. Is 537 00:19:52,217 --> 00:19:54,076 you have to silence your conscience 538 00:19:54,774 --> 00:19:55,733 in order to do this. 539 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,790 And your conscience is 1 of the primary 540 00:19:58,850 --> 00:20:01,416 ways God calls you to himself, begins to 541 00:20:01,416 --> 00:20:03,649 call you to himself. Because as you first 542 00:20:03,649 --> 00:20:05,323 enter into a relationship with God, 1 of 543 00:20:05,323 --> 00:20:07,236 the first things you realize is he is 544 00:20:07,236 --> 00:20:09,483 holy I am not. It's like the starting 545 00:20:09,483 --> 00:20:11,555 point and he often does that through our 546 00:20:11,555 --> 00:20:12,033 conscience. 547 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:14,663 So in order to embrace shame, you have 548 00:20:14,663 --> 00:20:15,620 to silence your conscience. 549 00:20:16,669 --> 00:20:19,453 So neither denying shame nor embracing shame can 550 00:20:19,453 --> 00:20:21,442 lead you closer to god, and isn't that 551 00:20:21,442 --> 00:20:22,769 what every human wants 552 00:20:23,127 --> 00:20:24,957 is to stand closer to who is ultimate 553 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,628 reality? Who's the god who made? I wanna 554 00:20:26,628 --> 00:20:29,015 live closer to him in some kind of 555 00:20:29,015 --> 00:20:29,254 way. 556 00:20:30,224 --> 00:20:31,339 This is where I wanna say this is 557 00:20:31,339 --> 00:20:32,136 a third option. 558 00:20:33,012 --> 00:20:33,672 This is 559 00:20:34,048 --> 00:20:35,801 what I would call the gospel option. This 560 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,649 is why I would say shame is actually 561 00:20:37,649 --> 00:20:40,281 a gift because when you experience shame, rather 562 00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:42,116 than denying rather than embracing, 563 00:20:42,595 --> 00:20:45,164 you can actually repent of shame. And what 564 00:20:45,164 --> 00:20:46,842 do I mean by repent of shame. 565 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:49,180 Remember that every 566 00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:52,516 emotion is revealing something about our soul. It's 567 00:20:52,516 --> 00:20:54,607 revealing. You have a belief about something going 568 00:20:54,607 --> 00:20:55,006 on here. 569 00:20:56,362 --> 00:20:58,914 Shame, what is shame reveal? Shame reveals our 570 00:20:58,914 --> 00:20:59,313 idol. 571 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,742 Shame shows where we're trusting something other than 572 00:21:02,902 --> 00:21:05,705 God to make us happy or secure or 573 00:21:05,705 --> 00:21:06,979 to protect us in some kind of way. 574 00:21:07,537 --> 00:21:09,527 The most sync definition of an idol, again, 575 00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:11,996 not like, a little stone statue that statue 576 00:21:11,996 --> 00:21:14,151 that you worship, but a belief, a false 577 00:21:14,151 --> 00:21:16,686 belief that you're holding on. The most distinct 578 00:21:16,686 --> 00:21:18,271 definition I've ever seen comes from this, the 579 00:21:18,271 --> 00:21:19,246 new city cat 580 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,854 Tim and Kathy Keller put this out a 581 00:21:21,854 --> 00:21:23,361 number of years ago. And, 582 00:21:23,758 --> 00:21:26,534 it is really fantastic for just short question 583 00:21:26,534 --> 00:21:28,940 and answers. I know kids have used this 584 00:21:28,940 --> 00:21:30,779 before families have used it before. I... There 585 00:21:30,779 --> 00:21:32,380 was a point in my life where I 586 00:21:32,380 --> 00:21:34,220 was trying to memorize all 52 587 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,951 questions and answers. And I'm I made a... 588 00:21:37,191 --> 00:21:38,545 I made a dent, maybe the first 10, 589 00:21:38,704 --> 00:21:39,023 But 590 00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:42,711 but question 17 asked the question is 591 00:21:43,087 --> 00:21:45,962 what is idol tree, and this is its 592 00:21:45,962 --> 00:21:46,121 answer. 593 00:21:46,914 --> 00:21:49,533 Idol tree or an idol is trusting and 594 00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:50,588 created things 595 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,334 rather than the creator 596 00:21:52,883 --> 00:21:54,877 for our hope, and our happiness, 597 00:21:55,435 --> 00:21:56,334 our significance 598 00:21:56,712 --> 00:21:57,509 and security. 599 00:21:59,025 --> 00:22:00,561 Trusting in something 600 00:22:00,939 --> 00:22:03,986 other than God for hope happiness significant security. 601 00:22:04,863 --> 00:22:07,496 Shame in that feeling of being exposed, and 602 00:22:07,496 --> 00:22:08,954 you feel that exposure 603 00:22:09,332 --> 00:22:09,810 in shame. 604 00:22:10,462 --> 00:22:11,997 It's the realization 605 00:22:12,452 --> 00:22:14,521 that because you feel so uncomfortable. There there's 606 00:22:14,521 --> 00:22:17,306 something else that you're also expecting to fill 607 00:22:17,306 --> 00:22:19,637 your hope your happiness your significance your security. 608 00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,396 It doesn't mean you don't trust in God. 609 00:22:22,115 --> 00:22:23,973 It just means and this is part of 610 00:22:24,353 --> 00:22:26,990 spiritual formation. It's constantly learning God. Where are 611 00:22:26,990 --> 00:22:29,237 my idol every day of my life. It's 612 00:22:29,237 --> 00:22:31,570 saying, in addition to Loving God, I've also 613 00:22:31,627 --> 00:22:34,097 been trusting in this other thing, this other 614 00:22:34,097 --> 00:22:36,893 identity about myself to bring me hope, happiness, 615 00:22:37,528 --> 00:22:39,989 significant security, maybe my intelligence, 616 00:22:40,704 --> 00:22:42,451 my artistic ability, my looks, 617 00:22:43,104 --> 00:22:45,019 my work ethic, my reputation. 618 00:22:46,536 --> 00:22:47,893 We go back to the question. Why does 619 00:22:47,973 --> 00:22:50,128 God allow you to experience shame And I 620 00:22:50,128 --> 00:22:52,959 would say God allows you to experience shame 621 00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:54,057 in hopes, 622 00:22:54,537 --> 00:22:57,035 you will see your idol and be drawn 623 00:22:57,094 --> 00:22:57,973 closer to him. 624 00:22:59,092 --> 00:23:01,430 Though shame makes you feel uncovered 625 00:23:03,096 --> 00:23:06,040 The process of shame actually uncover your idol. 626 00:23:06,835 --> 00:23:08,720 Let me say that again. Shame makes you 627 00:23:08,918 --> 00:23:09,873 feel exposed. 628 00:23:10,509 --> 00:23:12,577 But if you dig into why you're feeling 629 00:23:12,577 --> 00:23:15,441 exposed, it exposes your idol, shame makes you 630 00:23:15,441 --> 00:23:17,290 feel covered, but it gives you the opportunity 631 00:23:17,290 --> 00:23:19,204 for you to uncover what you're still trusting 632 00:23:19,204 --> 00:23:20,321 to uncover your idol. 633 00:23:20,959 --> 00:23:22,873 This is now the gift of shame because 634 00:23:22,873 --> 00:23:24,309 when you have the feeling of being found 635 00:23:24,309 --> 00:23:25,425 out or being exposed, 636 00:23:25,918 --> 00:23:27,589 You say there's something internal in my heart 637 00:23:27,589 --> 00:23:29,737 that I'm trusting in besides God to cover 638 00:23:29,737 --> 00:23:31,010 me right now to bless me to protect 639 00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:32,045 me to make me feel important. 640 00:23:33,334 --> 00:23:35,248 And the invitation of the gospel is to 641 00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:36,705 be covered fully 642 00:23:37,163 --> 00:23:37,902 by Jesus 643 00:23:38,439 --> 00:23:39,796 and his work on the cross. 644 00:23:40,369 --> 00:23:42,200 And what he did for you as the 645 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,735 final defining word 646 00:23:44,111 --> 00:23:46,181 on your identity and on who you are. 647 00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:48,092 So when you feel shame, the first step 648 00:23:48,092 --> 00:23:49,861 is to investigate and say God, what am 649 00:23:50,020 --> 00:23:52,333 I believing now about my identity to bring 650 00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:54,806 hope or happiness to bring significance or security? 651 00:23:55,284 --> 00:23:56,640 Can you help me to see it? Can 652 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,236 you help me to see what image of 653 00:23:58,236 --> 00:23:58,609 myself 654 00:23:59,125 --> 00:24:01,344 am I am I trusting in and you 655 00:24:01,344 --> 00:24:03,563 want to you wanna to pull that back 656 00:24:03,563 --> 00:24:05,307 so that I will be exactly who you've 657 00:24:05,307 --> 00:24:07,554 made me to be a truly flourishing person 658 00:24:07,554 --> 00:24:09,335 that you have made me unique 659 00:24:09,634 --> 00:24:11,875 as only you can do. This is what 660 00:24:11,954 --> 00:24:13,554 Paul says you do in the new testament 661 00:24:13,554 --> 00:24:15,487 when you notice the sting of shame or 662 00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:16,923 sorrow. He says this in second Corinthians. 663 00:24:17,881 --> 00:24:19,716 He says, even if I caused you sorrow 664 00:24:19,716 --> 00:24:21,950 by my letter, his first letter, there's a 665 00:24:21,950 --> 00:24:23,085 lot of things he told them to do. 666 00:24:23,244 --> 00:24:24,924 In in first corinthians, if you read through 667 00:24:24,924 --> 00:24:25,884 it, they were getting it wrong. 668 00:24:26,605 --> 00:24:27,964 And he says, even if I cause you 669 00:24:28,125 --> 00:24:29,804 Sorrow by telling you to do these hard 670 00:24:29,804 --> 00:24:31,244 things, I don't regret it. 671 00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:33,804 I'm happy now, not because you were made 672 00:24:33,804 --> 00:24:36,347 sorry, but because your sorrow, your shame. It 673 00:24:36,347 --> 00:24:39,367 led you to repentance and godly sorrow brings 674 00:24:39,367 --> 00:24:41,294 repentance that leads to salvation. 675 00:24:42,573 --> 00:24:44,671 You can be made to look more fully 676 00:24:44,730 --> 00:24:49,067 like Jesus. Shame invites us to re receive 677 00:24:49,366 --> 00:24:50,898 the love of Jesus. 678 00:24:51,695 --> 00:24:52,412 How does that happen? 679 00:24:53,209 --> 00:24:55,520 Well remember the paradox, Jesus, who is God 680 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,353 who is beauty and glory itself. He takes 681 00:24:57,353 --> 00:24:59,599 off his glory He's the 1 who climbs 682 00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,751 up upon the cross upon the tree, and 683 00:25:01,751 --> 00:25:04,780 he takes shame into himself. He drinks our 684 00:25:04,780 --> 00:25:07,107 shame on our behalf. Maybe you've never thought 685 00:25:07,107 --> 00:25:09,341 about it this way, his crucifixion is a 686 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,617 drama of shame. 687 00:25:11,973 --> 00:25:13,384 He's executed publicly 688 00:25:13,824 --> 00:25:16,617 He situated at a major crossroads. There's all 689 00:25:16,617 --> 00:25:18,453 these titles above his head, the king of 690 00:25:18,453 --> 00:25:20,608 the Jews written in every language so that 691 00:25:20,608 --> 00:25:22,776 everyone who passes by I can see and 692 00:25:22,776 --> 00:25:25,634 mock and humiliate him. He doesn't have any 693 00:25:25,634 --> 00:25:27,777 clothing on is subject to ridicule. The meaning 694 00:25:27,777 --> 00:25:30,818 of the cross is not just Jesus physical 695 00:25:30,874 --> 00:25:31,374 suffering 696 00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:34,153 but especially in his rejection and shame, 697 00:25:34,791 --> 00:25:36,544 rejected and shamed by humans, 698 00:25:37,181 --> 00:25:38,535 rejected in that moment by God. 699 00:25:39,346 --> 00:25:42,049 Suffering a consequence that he himself did not 700 00:25:42,049 --> 00:25:43,957 deserve. He was rejected so that you and 701 00:25:44,037 --> 00:25:45,309 I could be accepted, 702 00:25:45,866 --> 00:25:46,661 could be brought in. 703 00:25:47,470 --> 00:25:49,535 Could have his glory, his beauty. 704 00:25:50,488 --> 00:25:52,950 The pastor and theologian fleming rut in her 705 00:25:52,950 --> 00:25:54,539 marvelous book, her home, the 706 00:25:55,349 --> 00:25:56,226 She writes it this way. 707 00:25:57,980 --> 00:26:00,372 When we say that Jesus Christ took upon 708 00:26:00,372 --> 00:26:01,568 himself the sin of the world, 709 00:26:02,205 --> 00:26:03,821 it means quite specifically 710 00:26:04,373 --> 00:26:07,245 he suffered the shame and the degradation that 711 00:26:07,245 --> 00:26:10,116 human beings have inflicted on 1 another and 712 00:26:10,116 --> 00:26:12,908 that he above all others had done nothing 713 00:26:12,908 --> 00:26:13,386 to merit. 714 00:26:14,598 --> 00:26:16,993 And this is the great exchange that begins 715 00:26:16,993 --> 00:26:20,127 to happen where he takes on and becomes 716 00:26:20,186 --> 00:26:22,841 our shame and he gives us an exchanges 717 00:26:23,394 --> 00:26:24,994 his glory and his beauty. 718 00:26:25,795 --> 00:26:28,195 Hebrews verse 12 2 says Jesus, he climbs 719 00:26:28,195 --> 00:26:31,154 up on the cross scoring its shame for 720 00:26:31,154 --> 00:26:33,248 the joy set before him to honor the 721 00:26:33,248 --> 00:26:33,748 father 722 00:26:34,206 --> 00:26:36,042 and for the joy of redeeming his brothers 723 00:26:36,042 --> 00:26:38,757 and sisters, being able to cover our shame. 724 00:26:39,236 --> 00:26:41,551 Jesus en engulfed shame into his being. That's 725 00:26:41,551 --> 00:26:43,742 what the cross is. Across is a covering 726 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,076 of all of our shame. 727 00:26:45,715 --> 00:26:47,629 It's an invitation when you experience shame. 728 00:26:48,347 --> 00:26:50,660 You're invited to rip off the fig leaves 729 00:26:50,660 --> 00:26:52,390 for how you've been trying to cover your 730 00:26:52,509 --> 00:26:55,386 self and to re receive his covering power, 731 00:26:55,546 --> 00:26:59,142 his healing power, his his promise that his 732 00:26:59,142 --> 00:27:01,835 identity, his work on the cross is sufficient 733 00:27:02,033 --> 00:27:02,692 for you 734 00:27:03,144 --> 00:27:05,526 that his work on the cross puts you 735 00:27:05,526 --> 00:27:08,384 into relationship in into presence with his father, 736 00:27:08,622 --> 00:27:10,706 and this is the greatest identity marker and 737 00:27:10,706 --> 00:27:13,177 everything else is ordered underneath that. 738 00:27:15,329 --> 00:27:17,721 The prop the process of noticing shame and 739 00:27:17,721 --> 00:27:18,174 responding with 740 00:27:18,851 --> 00:27:21,716 investigation and repentance, it's a crucial part of 741 00:27:21,716 --> 00:27:24,423 spiritual formation a daily part. I suspect for 742 00:27:24,423 --> 00:27:26,492 most of us most days, each of us 743 00:27:26,492 --> 00:27:29,777 experience some measure of shame. There's something happens 744 00:27:29,777 --> 00:27:31,774 that we feel some measure of shame towards. 745 00:27:32,014 --> 00:27:34,171 And this process of saying, God, what is 746 00:27:34,171 --> 00:27:36,103 what is going on here? What what identity 747 00:27:36,103 --> 00:27:37,701 am I attached to right now? What do 748 00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,178 I have a longing towards that you're wanting 749 00:27:40,178 --> 00:27:42,095 to heal me of that you're wanting to 750 00:27:42,095 --> 00:27:45,240 bring deeper healing into my life towards 751 00:27:45,617 --> 00:27:46,573 or think about it this way? 752 00:27:47,449 --> 00:27:49,202 Is there anything that you're hiding right now? 753 00:27:50,238 --> 00:27:51,534 That you would not want 754 00:27:51,911 --> 00:27:53,596 someone to know about, that you wouldn't want 755 00:27:53,596 --> 00:27:55,028 me a pastor to know about. 756 00:27:55,982 --> 00:27:58,049 Think about moments in your life where you've 757 00:27:58,049 --> 00:27:58,844 experienced shame. 758 00:28:00,673 --> 00:28:02,160 And when you have 1 of those moments 759 00:28:02,279 --> 00:28:02,836 in your head, 760 00:28:03,631 --> 00:28:06,177 realize this that what you're thinking about right 761 00:28:06,177 --> 00:28:06,256 now? 762 00:28:07,052 --> 00:28:09,932 God wants to send his holy spirit exactly 763 00:28:09,932 --> 00:28:12,484 to that point. He wants to cover you 764 00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:14,557 of shame. He wants to take what you 765 00:28:14,557 --> 00:28:17,051 consider your greatest weakness, and he wants to 766 00:28:17,109 --> 00:28:19,833 remake you exactly at that point from the 767 00:28:19,833 --> 00:28:21,663 inside out, not just so you are covered 768 00:28:21,663 --> 00:28:23,413 by the blood of Jesus so that you 769 00:28:23,413 --> 00:28:25,163 take on the very character of Jesus. 770 00:28:25,893 --> 00:28:28,198 The work is to invite the spirit into 771 00:28:28,198 --> 00:28:29,629 your deepest points of shame, 772 00:28:30,344 --> 00:28:34,175 making you brand new totally new. From the 773 00:28:34,175 --> 00:28:34,652 inside out. 774 00:28:36,084 --> 00:28:38,312 That's the promise. That is the gift when 775 00:28:38,312 --> 00:28:41,415 we experience shame. It is the invitation to 776 00:28:41,415 --> 00:28:42,392 re receive 777 00:28:42,703 --> 00:28:45,648 the powerful love of God his healing power 778 00:28:45,648 --> 00:28:48,217 and to believe again that the cross is 779 00:28:48,354 --> 00:28:48,854 actually 780 00:28:49,945 --> 00:28:50,445 sufficient 781 00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:53,060 for bringing you into his presence. 782 00:28:54,329 --> 00:28:56,099 So I'm wanna close and just offer 783 00:28:57,106 --> 00:28:58,557 maybe just something that you do 784 00:28:58,930 --> 00:28:59,485 this week. 785 00:29:00,612 --> 00:29:01,589 There's 2 questions 786 00:29:02,122 --> 00:29:03,553 that you could sit with, you could wrestle 787 00:29:03,553 --> 00:29:05,064 with, or you can make just a daily 788 00:29:05,064 --> 00:29:06,335 habit of of practicing. 789 00:29:06,971 --> 00:29:08,482 It's are there any areas in your life 790 00:29:08,482 --> 00:29:10,805 where you feel shame right now. Small areas, 791 00:29:11,362 --> 00:29:13,513 larger areas, Are there areas where you feel 792 00:29:13,513 --> 00:29:13,752 shame? 793 00:29:16,062 --> 00:29:17,655 And if so, is there any area where 794 00:29:17,655 --> 00:29:19,740 god might be calling you to pent a 795 00:29:19,740 --> 00:29:20,057 fresh. 796 00:29:20,772 --> 00:29:22,917 We're repent to him, telling others, you know, 797 00:29:22,997 --> 00:29:24,824 some of the people I admire most in 798 00:29:24,824 --> 00:29:26,230 life are those who have 799 00:29:26,905 --> 00:29:28,892 have something in secret that no 1 else 800 00:29:28,892 --> 00:29:30,401 ever knows about, but they do the hard 801 00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:32,332 work of repent and confessing 802 00:29:32,785 --> 00:29:35,265 and being healed of what they've what they've 803 00:29:35,265 --> 00:29:35,504 done. 804 00:29:36,299 --> 00:29:39,402 The healing cannot come apart from repentance. You're 805 00:29:39,402 --> 00:29:41,804 only left with the options when you hit 806 00:29:41,804 --> 00:29:44,271 shame of denying it or embracing it, and 807 00:29:44,271 --> 00:29:45,544 this is the only way through. 808 00:29:46,181 --> 00:29:47,931 It's actually to repent of it and to 809 00:29:47,931 --> 00:29:50,214 allow god to remake you precisely at this 810 00:29:50,334 --> 00:29:50,493 point. 811 00:29:51,210 --> 00:29:52,006 Let's pray together. 812 00:29:53,678 --> 00:29:56,305 Lord Jesus, we we do we never wanna 813 00:29:56,305 --> 00:29:58,136 grow stale at the power of the cross. 814 00:29:58,949 --> 00:30:00,566 That you are the god who 815 00:30:01,024 --> 00:30:03,100 doesn't abandon us in our shame, doesn't leave 816 00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:05,335 us wall in pain, but you step down 817 00:30:05,335 --> 00:30:07,785 into it becoming shame itself on the cross 818 00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:09,285 and then you're resurrected, 819 00:30:10,224 --> 00:30:12,065 showing us that there is a new way 820 00:30:12,065 --> 00:30:13,505 offering us a new way, 821 00:30:14,625 --> 00:30:16,384 or for so many in here, Shame is 822 00:30:16,384 --> 00:30:17,445 a daily reality 823 00:30:18,636 --> 00:30:20,390 for anyone who needs to be set free, 824 00:30:20,549 --> 00:30:22,143 I pray you holy spirit to come to 825 00:30:22,143 --> 00:30:22,622 their hearts. 826 00:30:23,977 --> 00:30:26,622 For everyone who is carrying just different pieces 827 00:30:26,622 --> 00:30:27,020 of shame, 828 00:30:28,215 --> 00:30:29,091 show us our idol. 829 00:30:29,968 --> 00:30:31,800 We want to be more like you, Jesus. 830 00:30:31,959 --> 00:30:34,189 We wanna be made in your character fully 831 00:30:34,189 --> 00:30:36,777 free, fully loving the father fully loving others 832 00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:37,075 around us. 833 00:30:38,272 --> 00:30:39,628 Be asking him pray all this and the 834 00:30:39,628 --> 00:30:40,905 name of the father, the son and the 835 00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:42,342 holy spirit. A amen, 836 00:30:43,394 --> 00:30:44,911 By the way, we go to comm today, 837 00:30:45,070 --> 00:30:47,465 I wanna just make a note, every comedian 838 00:30:47,465 --> 00:30:49,859 service, there are healing prayer ministers around the 839 00:30:49,859 --> 00:30:51,455 room. And if there's anything that you feel 840 00:30:51,455 --> 00:30:51,829 like 841 00:30:52,268 --> 00:30:54,182 I'm just... I'm carrying shame in this way. 842 00:30:54,501 --> 00:30:56,256 I would encourage you to go and spend 843 00:30:56,256 --> 00:30:58,410 some time praying with them inviting the spirit 844 00:30:58,410 --> 00:31:01,600 to come, trusting Jesus blood covers you precisely 845 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:02,254 at that point. 846 00:31:03,774 --> 00:31:05,294 Alright. If you would now, please stand.