[{"start": 0.351, "end": 4.338, "text": "Hey, everybody, before we get started with today's episode of the virtual couch, I wanted", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Hey, everybody, before we get started with today's episode of the virtual couch, I wanted", 0.35, 4.34, 1.0]]}, {"start": 4.338, "end": 8.138, "text": "to make you aware of a project that I have been chomping at the bit to tell you about", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to make you aware of a project that I have been chomping at the bit to tell you about", 4.34, 8.14, 1.0]]}, {"start": 8.138, "end": 9.461, "text": "and the time is here.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and the time is here.", 8.14, 9.46, 1.0]]}, {"start": 9.978, "end": 15.124, "text": "So let me ask you, have you ever found yourself craving a deeper, more intimate connection,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So let me ask you, have you ever found yourself craving a deeper, more intimate connection,", 9.98, 15.12, 1.0]]}, {"start": 15.698, "end": 19.738, "text": "with your spouse, but you honestly aren't even really sure how to bring up certain topics?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["with your spouse, but you honestly aren't even really sure how to bring up certain topics?", 15.7, 19.74, 1.0]]}, {"start": 19.738, "end": 22.838, "text": "The things get a little bit awkward and so you typically tell yourself, oh, we'll talk", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["The things get a little bit awkward and so you typically tell yourself, oh, we'll talk", 19.74, 22.84, 1.0]]}, {"start": 22.838, "end": 26.338, "text": "about them later. And then that later really doesn't come.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["about them later.", 22.84, 23.84, 1.0], ["And then that later really doesn't come.", 23.84, 26.34, 1.0]]}, {"start": 26.71, "end": 29.572, "text": "And let me be very honest, we are talking about intimacy.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And let me be very honest, we are talking about intimacy.", 26.71, 29.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 30.238, "end": 33.698, "text": "Now we're not talking about verbal intimacy, although that is an absolute key to what we", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Now we're not talking about verbal intimacy, although that is an absolute key to what we", 30.24, 33.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 33.698, "end": 36.396, "text": "are eventually landing the plane talking about today.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["are eventually landing the plane talking about today.", 33.7, 36.4, 1.0]]}, {"start": 37.298, "end": 40.478, "text": "And we're not even talking about emotional intimacy, although again, absolutely a must", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And we're not even talking about emotional intimacy, although again, absolutely a must", 37.3, 40.48, 1.0]]}, {"start": 40.478, "end": 41.843, "text": "comes right after verbal intimacy.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["comes right after verbal intimacy.", 40.48, 41.84, 1.0]]}, {"start": 42.418, "end": 47.19, "text": "We are talking about physical intimacy. Yes, we are talking about sex.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["We are talking about physical intimacy.", 42.42, 45.18, 1.0], ["Yes, we are talking about sex.", 45.29, 47.19, 1.0]]}, {"start": 47.778, "end": 54.218, "text": "S-E-X, S to the X. We are talking about a topic that for so many people, which is so fascinating that we've", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["S-E-X, S to the X.", 47.78, 49.31, 1.0], ["We are talking about a topic that for so many people, which is so fascinating that we've", 49.82, 54.22, 1.0]]}, {"start": 54.218, "end": 55.868, "text": "You've never really learned how to talk about it.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["You've never really learned how to talk about it.", 54.22, 55.87, 1.0]]}, {"start": 56.378, "end": 61.44, "text": "And it is something that is very important and can be a wonderful part of your relationship.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And it is something that is very important", 56.38, 58.66, 1.0], ["and can be a wonderful part of your relationship.", 58.66, 61.44, 1.0]]}, {"start": 62.158, "end": 66.563, "text": "So I was asked to take part in this year's, it's called the Sex Summit 2023.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So I was asked to take part in this year's,", 62.16, 64.54, 1.0], ["it's called the Sex Summit 2023.", 64.54, 66.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 66.958, "end": 70.065, "text": "And I will be completely honest, I was asked to be a part of the summit last year", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I will be completely honest,", 66.96, 68.3, 1.0], ["I was asked to be a part of the summit last year", 68.3, 70.06, 1.0]]}, {"start": 70.418, "end": 72.558, "text": "and I thought it looked really good and promising.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I thought it looked really good and promising.", 70.42, 72.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 72.819, "end": 80.039, "text": "And I was asked to cover a really fun topic and I put it off and I said, I will get to this later.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I was asked to cover a really fun topic", 72.82, 75.38, 1.0], ["and I put it off and I said, I will get to this later.", 75.82, 80.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 80.478, "end": 83.378, "text": "And later really didn't happen. So this year, as soon as I was asked again,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And later really didn't happen.", 80.48, 81.62, 1.0], ["So this year, as soon as I was asked again,", 81.62, 83.38, 1.0]]}, {"start": 83.378, "end": 88.098, "text": "And I was grateful to be asked, I jumped on the chance and I am one of 31 leading professionals", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I was grateful to be asked, I jumped on the chance and I am one of 31 leading professionals", 83.38, 88.1, 1.0]]}, {"start": 88.098, "end": 93.813, "text": "in the field of marriage and sex who are providing you with a resource that I really do feel", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["in the field of marriage and sex who are providing you with a resource that I really do feel", 88.1, 93.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 94.137, "end": 100.978, "text": "can completely restore or revive or reinvigorate your emotional and your sexual intimacy.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["can completely restore or revive or reinvigorate your emotional and your sexual intimacy.", 94.14, 100.98, 1.0]]}, {"start": 100.978, "end": 104.21, "text": "This is going to be a comprehensive experience. it delivers.", "confidence": 0.73, "timestamps": [["This is going to be a comprehensive experience.", 100.98, 103.46, 0.8479510545730591], ["it delivers.", 103.46, 104.21, 0.6187427043914795]]}, {"start": 104.948, "end": 110.161, "text": "Variety of speakers, and I feel like we all have relevant and applicable and practical information.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Variety of speakers, and I feel like we all have relevant and applicable and practical information.", 104.95, 110.16, 1.0]]}, {"start": 110.548, "end": 118.798, "text": "And let me tell you, there are very intimate, very specific presentations on all things sexual. But if talking about some of these things is uncomfortable,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And let me tell you, there are very intimate, very specific presentations", 110.55, 114.36, 1.0], ["on all things sexual. But if talking about some of these things is uncomfortable,", 114.73, 118.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 119.518, "end": 124.798, "text": "this is being presented in a format that can be enjoyed online from the comfort and privacy of", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["this is being presented in a format that can be enjoyed online from the comfort and privacy of", 119.52, 124.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 124.798, "end": 130.318, "text": "your own home. You don't have to worry about any awkward therapist visits, although my therapist", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["your own home. You don't have to worry about any awkward therapist visits, although my therapist", 124.8, 130.32, 1.0]]}, {"start": 130.318, "end": 135.038, "text": "office is very nice and very comfortable or you don't really have to worry about configuration", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["office is very nice and very comfortable or you don't really have to worry about configuration", 130.32, 135.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 135.038, "end": 139.438, "text": "of childcare. So the goal here is to get you both learning and talking and growing in a", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["of childcare. So the goal here is to get you both learning and talking and growing in a", 135.04, 139.44, 1.0]]}, {"start": 139.438, "end": 144.638, "text": "safe environment and that environment is exactly what I think has been created in this Sex", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["safe environment and that environment is exactly what I think has been created in this Sex", 139.44, 144.64, 1.0]]}, {"start": 144.638, "end": 149.717, "text": "Summit 2023. And I honestly, I feel truly like I was brought in as this wise old man", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Summit 2023. And I honestly, I feel truly like I was brought in as this wise old man", 144.64, 149.72, 1.0]]}, {"start": 150.104, "end": 153.678, "text": "who is going to lay out some foundational principles on how to even start talking about", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["who is going to lay out some foundational principles on how to even start talking about", 150.1, 153.68, 1.0]]}, {"start": 153.678, "end": 158.818, "text": "anything because a lot of the presentations are talking about some very specific things.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["anything because a lot of the presentations are talking about some very specific things.", 153.68, 158.82, 1.0]]}, {"start": 159.318, "end": 164.66, "text": "Specifically for me, I'm teaching you how to talk about things of a very intimate nature.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Specifically for me, I'm teaching you how to talk about things of a very intimate nature.", 159.32, 164.66, 1.0]]}, {"start": 164.967, "end": 169.798, "text": "Now the title of my presentation in the summit is Relationship Tools You Don't Know That You Need.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Now the title of my presentation in the summit is Relationship Tools You Don't Know That You Need.", 164.97, 169.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 170.548, "end": 174.194, "text": "Tips and tools born from 15 years of practice with 1500 couples.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Tips and tools born from 15 years of practice with 1500 couples.", 170.55, 174.19, 1.0]]}, {"start": 174.617, "end": 179.298, "text": "And this is the crazy part. I am going to go into full sales pitch mode.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And this is the crazy part. I am going to go into full sales pitch mode.", 174.62, 179.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 179.847, "end": 183.638, "text": "The cost of the seminar, the 2023 sex seminar is $35.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["The cost of the seminar, the 2023 sex seminar is $35.", 179.85, 183.64, 1.0]]}, {"start": 184.681, "end": 188.516, "text": "So if you break that down with maybe my hourly rate or others hourly rates,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["So if you break that down with maybe my hourly rate or others hourly rates,", 184.68, 188.52, 1.0]]}, {"start": 188.868, "end": 194.558, "text": "That's about what you've paid to sit on my couch and recap the week before we dive into the deep end of the relationship pool.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["That's about what you've paid to sit on my couch and recap the week before we dive into the deep end of the relationship pool.", 188.87, 194.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 194.558, "end": 197.942, "text": "So I'm including the links in the show notes of this episode.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So I'm including the links in the show notes of this episode.", 194.56, 197.94, 1.0]]}, {"start": 198.239, "end": 206.647, "text": "And if you go on my social media feeds, there's going to be a link tree link, and that is going to have the Sex Summit 2023 as a topic.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if you go on my social media feeds, there's going to be a link tree link, and that is going to have the Sex Summit 2023 as a topic.", 198.24, 206.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 207.088, "end": 212.228, "text": "And if you click on that, it'll have the links to the Sex Summit 2023, again, $35.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if you click on that, it'll have the links to the Sex Summit 2023, again, $35.", 207.09, 212.23, 1.0]]}, {"start": 212.643, "end": 220.598, "text": "But then what's kind of nutty is they also have a bundle for $80 that you can get the 2020, 2021, 2022, and the 2023 seminars.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But then what's kind of nutty is they also have a bundle for $80 that you can get the 2020, 2021, 2022, and the 2023 seminars.", 212.64, 220.6, 1.0]]}, {"start": 221.042, "end": 227.938, "text": "So all four years and that is $80. Again, I'm only in the year 2023, but that is that is quite a deal.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So all four years and that is $80.", 221.04, 223.4, 1.0], ["Again, I'm only in the year 2023, but that is that is quite a deal.", 223.4, 227.94, 1.0]]}, {"start": 228.398, "end": 230.978, "text": "Highly encourage this. It goes away in about a week.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Highly encourage this.", 228.4, 229.44, 1.0], ["It goes away in about a week.", 229.74, 230.98, 1.0]]}, {"start": 231.097, "end": 235.358, "text": "And if you have questions, you can shoot them over to contact at TonyOverbay.com.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if you have questions, you can shoot them over to contact at TonyOverbay.com.", 231.1, 235.36, 1.0]]}, {"start": 235.814, "end": 239.154, "text": "But let's get started with today's episode of the Virtual Couch.", "confidence": 0.87, "timestamps": [["But let's get started with today's episode of the Virtual Couch.", 235.81, 239.15, 0.8729147911071777]]}, {"start": 239.28, "end": 260.08, "text": "Music.", "newpara": true}, {"start": 260.075, "end": 263.805, "text": "Hey, everybody, welcome to Episode 377 of The Virtual Couch.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Hey, everybody, welcome to Episode 377 of The Virtual Couch.", 260.08, 263.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 263.805, "end": 264.925, "text": "I am your host, Tony Overbay.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I am your host, Tony Overbay.", 263.81, 264.93, 1.0]]}, {"start": 264.925, "end": 268.232, "text": "I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified Mindful Habit Coach,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist,", 264.93, 266.64, 1.0], ["certified Mindful Habit Coach,", 267.03, 268.23, 1.0]]}, {"start": 268.304, "end": 272.598, "text": "writer, speaker, husband, father of four, and host of the, this is The Virtual Couch,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["writer, speaker, husband, father of four,", 268.3, 270.08, 1.0], ["and host of the, this is The Virtual Couch,", 270.28, 272.6, 1.0]]}, {"start": 273.005, "end": 278.647, "text": "host of the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast, and now, Episode Three coming out anytime soon,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["host of the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast,", 273.01, 275.39, 1.0], ["and now, Episode Three coming out anytime soon,", 275.39, 278.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 278.971, "end": 281.565, "text": "Murder on the Couch, True Crime Meets Therapy.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Murder on the Couch, True Crime Meets Therapy.", 278.97, 281.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 281.565, "end": 286.191, "text": "The reviews, the comments have been fantastic. I do that with my daughter, Sydney.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["The reviews, the comments have been fantastic.", 281.57, 284.85, 1.0], ["I do that with my daughter, Sydney.", 284.85, 286.19, 1.0]]}, {"start": 286.281, "end": 293.51, "text": "And please go find me on TikTok at virtualcouch or on Instagram at tonyoverbay underscore LMFT,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And please go find me on TikTok at virtualcouch", 286.28, 289.55, 1.0], ["or on Instagram at tonyoverbay underscore LMFT,", 289.61, 293.51, 1.0]]}, {"start": 293.627, "end": 296.845, "text": "or on Facebook, Tony Overbay, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or on Facebook, Tony Overbay,", 293.63, 295.49, 1.0], ["Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist,", 295.49, 296.85, 1.0]]}, {"start": 296.845, "end": 298.29, "text": "or I'm on LinkedIn as well.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or I'm on LinkedIn as well.", 296.85, 298.29, 1.0]]}, {"start": 298.425, "end": 302.485, "text": "And I'll leave it there. I would love for you to go check out The Path Back,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I'll leave it there.", 298.43, 300.65, 1.0], ["I would love for you to go check out The Path Back,", 300.65, 302.49, 1.0]]}, {"start": 302.485, "end": 305.905, "text": "my online pornography recovery program that is helping people reclaim their lives", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["my online pornography recovery program", 302.49, 304.37, 1.0], ["that is helping people reclaim their lives", 304.37, 305.91, 1.0]]}, {"start": 305.905, "end": 309.405, "text": "from turning to pornography as an unhealthy coping mechanism.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["from turning to pornography", 305.91, 307.49, 1.0], ["as an unhealthy coping mechanism.", 307.49, 309.41, 1.0]]}, {"start": 309.405, "end": 315.025, "text": "You can find that at pathbackrecovery.com. But today's episode, I wanna just jump right in here.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["You can find that at pathbackrecovery.com.", 309.41, 311.73, 1.0], ["But today's episode, I wanna just jump right in here.", 311.73, 315.03, 1.0]]}, {"start": 315.025, "end": 318.685, "text": "This has been something I've wanted to talk about for a while, and I'm gonna be honest,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["This has been something I've wanted to talk about", 315.03, 317.11, 1.0], ["for a while, and I'm gonna be honest,", 317.23, 318.69, 1.0]]}, {"start": 318.685, "end": 322.533, "text": "I've had two false starts on trying to record an episode", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I've had two false starts on trying to record an episode", 318.69, 322.53, 1.0]]}, {"start": 322.845, "end": 326.242, "text": "on this particular article that we're gonna talk about today.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["on this particular article that we're gonna talk about today.", 322.85, 326.24, 1.0]]}, {"start": 326.605, "end": 330.165, "text": "And as a matter of fact, I just squared up my shoulders. I took a little bit of an in through the nose,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And as a matter of fact, I just squared up my shoulders.", 326.61, 328.51, 1.0], ["I took a little bit of an in through the nose,", 328.51, 330.17, 1.0]]}, {"start": 330.165, "end": 331.245, "text": "out through the mouth breath.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["out through the mouth breath.", 330.17, 331.25, 1.0]]}, {"start": 331.245, "end": 338.944, "text": "I'm slowing down my speech because in my two attempts at already doing a podcast on this article,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm slowing down my speech because in my two attempts", 331.25, 335.75, 1.0], ["at already doing a podcast on this article,", 335.75, 338.94, 1.0]]}, {"start": 339.125, "end": 342.765, "text": "I just get going and I get fired up and I think I make no sense.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I just get going and I get fired up", 339.13, 341.43, 1.0], ["and I think I make no sense.", 341.43, 342.77, 1.0]]}, {"start": 342.765, "end": 346.119, "text": "And so then I just scrap it and I end up putting something else together.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so then I just scrap it", 342.77, 343.93, 1.0], ["and I end up putting something else together.", 343.93, 346.12, 1.0]]}, {"start": 346.956, "end": 351.088, "text": "But I'm gonna refer to an article that I would love to, I'll put in the show notes,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["But I'm gonna refer to an article that I would love to,", 346.96, 349.97, 1.0], ["I'll put in the show notes,", 349.97, 351.09, 1.0]]}, {"start": 351.133, "end": 353.996, "text": "and it's from one of my favorite websites, honestly.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and it's from one of my favorite websites, honestly.", 351.13, 354.0, 1.0]]}, {"start": 354.077, "end": 358.803, "text": "It's called, I don't even know how one says it out loud, it's gonna sound like some complicated word,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["It's called, I don't even know how one says it out loud,", 354.08, 356.91, 1.0], ["it's gonna sound like some complicated word,", 356.91, 358.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 358.866, "end": 363.548, "text": "but it's ADD in capital letters, and then I-T-U-D-E.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but it's ADD in capital letters, and then I-T-U-D-E.", 358.87, 363.55, 1.0]]}, {"start": 363.935, "end": 373.565, "text": "So, Additude, but it's about ADD and ADHD. So, there are so much on this website about ADD, ADHD,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So, Additude, but it's about ADD and ADHD.", 363.93, 368.67, 1.0], ["So, there are so much on this website about ADD, ADHD,", 369.04, 373.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 373.565, "end": 379.085, "text": "rejection sensitivity, medication in ADHD, adult ADHD, ADHD in kids.", "confidence": 0.95, "timestamps": [["rejection sensitivity, medication in ADHD, adult ADHD, ADHD in kids.", 373.57, 379.09, 0.9457789659500122]]}, {"start": 379.085, "end": 381.903, "text": "And so I really enjoy this article.", "confidence": 0.89, "timestamps": [["And so I really enjoy this article.", 379.09, 381.9, 0.8941370844841003]]}, {"start": 382.398, "end": 387.034, "text": "Are this website, but here's an article and this came out and I remember when it came out.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Are this website, but here's an article and this came out and I remember when it came out.", 382.4, 387.03, 1.0]]}, {"start": 387.575, "end": 394.968, "text": "Let me look at the date. It came out a couple of years ago and oh, March 31st of 2022. Actually,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Let me look at the date. It came out a couple of years ago and oh, March 31st of 2022. Actually,", 387.57, 394.97, 1.0]]}, {"start": 394.968, "end": 399.611, "text": "that is very recent and it says it was updated on March 31st. No, we are in 2023. That's what,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that is very recent and it says it was updated on March 31st. No, we are in 2023. That's what,", 394.97, 399.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 400.248, "end": 405.528, "text": "I thought. Okay, so it was a year ago and the title of the article because I was sent this", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I thought. Okay, so it was a year ago and the title of the article because I was sent this", 400.25, 405.53, 1.0]]}, {"start": 405.528, "end": 409.608, "text": "article and I remember reading it and just finding it very confusing because I didn't slow down", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["article and I remember reading it and just finding it very confusing because I didn't slow down", 405.53, 409.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 409.608, "end": 413.588, "text": "enough to really, it's funny because it's on an ADD website, but it didn't slow down", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["enough to really, it's funny because it's on an ADD website, but it didn't slow down", 409.61, 413.59, 1.0]]}, {"start": 413.588, "end": 420.768, "text": "enough to really look at the content because the title of the article says, Divorce Probably", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["enough to really look at the content because the title of the article says, Divorce Probably", 413.59, 420.77, 1.0]]}, {"start": 420.768, "end": 423.413, "text": "Won't Make You Happier, Study Says.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Won't Make You Happier, Study Says.", 420.77, 423.41, 1.0]]}, {"start": 424.088, "end": 429.128, "text": "So first of all, a probably in the title doesn't give me the utmost confidence and I feel like", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["So first of all, a probably in the title doesn't give me the utmost confidence and I feel like", 424.09, 429.13, 1.0]]}, {"start": 429.128, "end": 433.248, "text": "this and I'm going to go into this, it's going to be pretty biased, but I think there's some", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["this and I'm going to go into this, it's going to be pretty biased, but I think there's some", 429.13, 433.25, 1.0]]}, {"start": 433.248, "end": 434.656, "text": "good information in here.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["good information in here.", 433.25, 434.66, 1.0]]}, {"start": 434.968, "end": 441.903, "text": "But I also just wanna share that as a marriage therapist, I think there is so much more that can come from a marriage", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But I also just wanna share that as a marriage therapist,", 434.97, 438.17, 1.0], ["I think there is so much more that can come from a marriage", 438.17, 441.9, 1.0]]}, {"start": 441.988, "end": 446.792, "text": "than talking about things like probably, and here's a way to tolerate your marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["than talking about things like probably,", 441.99, 444.57, 1.0], ["and here's a way to tolerate your marriage.", 444.57, 446.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 447.388, "end": 451.509, "text": "And it just concerned me. I remember when someone sent me this when it came out a year or so ago,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And it just concerned me.", 447.39, 448.63, 1.0], ["I remember when someone sent me this", 448.63, 450.09, 1.0], ["when it came out a year or so ago,", 450.09, 451.51, 1.0]]}, {"start": 452.048, "end": 456.604, "text": "that this is the way that marriages are being talked about.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that this is the way that marriages are being talked about.", 452.05, 456.6, 1.0]]}, {"start": 457.342, "end": 461.177, "text": "That, hey, let's tolerate it. Or if you're not very happy in it,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["That, hey, let's tolerate it.", 457.34, 458.45, 1.0], ["Or if you're not very happy in it,", 458.45, 461.18, 1.0]]}, {"start": 461.448, "end": 466.008, "text": "chances are you probably won't be as happy out of it as well, so you might as well suck it up.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["chances are you probably won't be as happy", 461.45, 463.85, 1.0], ["out of it as well, so you might as well suck it up.", 463.85, 466.01, 1.0]]}, {"start": 466.008, "end": 468.181, "text": "That's kind of the vibe that I was getting.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["That's kind of the vibe that I was getting.", 466.01, 468.18, 1.0]]}, {"start": 468.262, "end": 472.328, "text": "So the article says, divorce probably won't make you happier, study says.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So the article says,", 468.26, 469.89, 1.0], ["divorce probably won't make you happier, study says.", 469.89, 472.33, 1.0]]}, {"start": 472.493, "end": 477.084, "text": "And then the subheading here says, divorce is a common side effect of ADHD,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then the subheading here says,", 472.49, 474.89, 1.0], ["divorce is a common side effect of ADHD,", 474.89, 477.08, 1.0]]}, {"start": 477.669, "end": 481.036, "text": "but getting one doesn't mean you'll live happily ever after.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but getting one doesn't mean you'll live happily ever after.", 477.67, 481.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 481.18, "end": 489.408, "text": "And so it's talking again about this and the realm of ADHD, but then the article goes on to refer to some stats", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so it's talking again about this and the realm of ADHD,", 481.18, 485.61, 1.0], ["but then the article goes on to refer to some stats", 485.61, 489.41, 1.0]]}, {"start": 489.408, "end": 490.728, "text": "that have nothing to do with ADHD.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that have nothing to do with ADHD.", 489.41, 490.73, 1.0]]}, {"start": 490.728, "end": 496.728, "text": "So it's on an ADHD website, And I think that the subheading is talking about", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So it's on an ADHD website,", 490.73, 492.81, 1.0], ["And I think that the subheading is talking about", 492.81, 496.73, 1.0]]}, {"start": 496.728, "end": 500.168, "text": "that in the world of people in relationships with someone who has ADHD,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that in the world of people in relationships", 496.73, 499.01, 1.0], ["with someone who has ADHD,", 499.01, 500.17, 1.0]]}, {"start": 500.168, "end": 502.876, "text": "especially undiagnosed or untreated ADHD,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["especially undiagnosed or untreated ADHD,", 500.17, 502.88, 1.0]]}, {"start": 503.008, "end": 505.783, "text": "that the divorce rate can be higher", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that the divorce rate can be higher", 503.01, 505.78, 1.0]]}, {"start": 506.128, "end": 511.563, "text": "because if people aren't working on their own stuff on either end of the coin or either side of the coin,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["because if people aren't working on their own stuff", 506.13, 508.68, 1.0], ["on either end of the coin or either side of the coin,", 508.77, 511.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 511.688, "end": 513.908, "text": "then it really can bring some challenges in the relationship.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then it really can bring some challenges", 511.69, 513.09, 1.0], ["in the relationship.", 513.09, 513.91, 1.0]]}, {"start": 513.908, "end": 519.413, "text": "Because ADHD is about, it can be about impulsivity, it can be about rejection sensitivity,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Because ADHD is about, it can be about impulsivity,", 513.91, 517.29, 1.0], ["it can be about rejection sensitivity,", 517.29, 519.41, 1.0]]}, {"start": 519.89, "end": 528.888, "text": "And it can just be about two people that look at things very differently and they don't have the tools to communicate effectively.", "confidence": 0.92, "timestamps": [["And it can just be about two people that look at things very differently and they don't have the tools to communicate effectively.", 519.89, 528.89, 0.920203685760498]]}, {"start": 529.982, "end": 535.365, "text": "So I'm going to jump halfway into the article and then we're going to bounce around a little bit.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["So I'm going to jump halfway into the article and then we're going to bounce around a little", 529.98, 534.59, 1.0], ["bit.", 534.59, 535.36, 1.0]]}, {"start": 535.591, "end": 538.102, "text": "So in the article it talks about marital turnarounds.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So in the article it talks about marital turnarounds.", 535.59, 538.1, 1.0]]}, {"start": 538.351, "end": 540.415, "text": "How do unhappy marriages get happier?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["How do unhappy marriages get happier?", 538.35, 540.42, 1.0]]}, {"start": 541.031, "end": 546.87, "text": "So we're talking about unhappy marriages and the author, and I should give the author credit.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So we're talking about unhappy marriages and the author, and I should give the author credit.", 541.03, 546.87, 1.0]]}, {"start": 547.431, "end": 556.071, "text": "So this was written by an author who wrote it and it does not say the author's name and", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So this was written by an author who wrote it and it does not say the author's name and", 547.43, 556.07, 1.0]]}, {"start": 556.071, "end": 560.591, "text": "I am stalling and I am scrolling and it does not say the author's name.", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["I am stalling and I am scrolling and it does not say the author's name.", 556.07, 560.59, 0.9699742197990417]]}, {"start": 560.631, "end": 564.055, "text": "It just says by ADD Attitude Attitude Editors.", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["It just says by ADD Attitude Attitude Editors.", 560.63, 564.06, 0.9699742197990417]]}, {"start": 564.211, "end": 567.611, "text": "So then I will just use the proverbial they.", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["So then I will just use the proverbial they.", 564.21, 567.61, 0.9699742197990417]]}, {"start": 567.951, "end": 572.971, "text": "So they say to follow up on the dramatic findings that two thirds of unhappy", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["So they say to follow up on the dramatic findings that two thirds of unhappy", 567.95, 572.97, 0.9699742197990417]]}, {"start": 572.971, "end": 575.749, "text": "marriages had become happy five years later.", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["marriages had become happy five years later.", 572.97, 575.75, 0.9699742197990417]]}, {"start": 576.111, "end": 577.649, "text": "So we're going to circle back around to that.", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["So we're going to circle back around to that.", 576.11, 577.65, 0.9699742197990417]]}, {"start": 578.271, "end": 583.031, "text": "The researchers also conducted focus group interviews with 55 formerly unhappy", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["The researchers also conducted focus group interviews with 55 formerly unhappy", 578.27, 583.03, 0.9699742197990417]]}, {"start": 583.031, "end": 585.597, "text": "husbands and wives who had turned their marriages around.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["husbands and wives who had turned their marriages around.", 583.03, 585.6, 1.0]]}, {"start": 586.211, "end": 591.737, "text": "They found that many currently happy married spouses have had extended periods of marital unhappiness,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["They found that many currently happy married spouses", 586.21, 589.19, 1.0], ["have had extended periods of marital unhappiness,", 589.19, 591.74, 1.0]]}, {"start": 592.191, "end": 596.511, "text": "often for quite serious reasons, including alcoholism, infidelity, verbal abuse,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["often for quite serious reasons,", 592.19, 593.79, 1.0], ["including alcoholism, infidelity, verbal abuse,", 593.79, 596.51, 1.0]]}, {"start": 596.511, "end": 600.019, "text": "emotional neglect, depression, illness, and work reversals.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["emotional neglect, depression, illness, and work reversals.", 596.51, 600.02, 1.0]]}, {"start": 600.671, "end": 607.887, "text": "And I can absolutely say that when people come into couples therapy and they are both willing", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And I can absolutely say that when people come", 600.67, 604.55, 1.0], ["into couples therapy and they are both willing", 604.55, 607.89, 1.0]]}, {"start": 608.071, "end": 611.431, "text": "to work on the marriage and take a look", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to work on the marriage and take a look", 608.07, 611.43, 1.0]]}, {"start": 611.857, "end": 615.584, "text": "at how they show up in the marriage and get the right tools,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["at how they show up in the marriage and get the right tools,", 611.86, 615.58, 1.0]]}, {"start": 615.931, "end": 621.311, "text": "then I really do feel like any of these things that were mentioned, alcoholism, infidelity,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then I really do feel like any of these things", 615.93, 618.63, 1.0], ["that were mentioned, alcoholism, infidelity,", 618.63, 621.31, 1.0]]}, {"start": 621.311, "end": 624.352, "text": "verbal abuse, emotional neglect, depression, illness, and work reversals,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["verbal abuse, emotional neglect, depression,", 621.31, 623.19, 1.0], ["illness, and work reversals,", 623.19, 624.35, 1.0]]}, {"start": 624.791, "end": 629.071, "text": "that they really can be the catalyst to get someone into therapy,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that they really can be the catalyst", 624.79, 627.49, 1.0], ["to get someone into therapy,", 627.63, 629.07, 1.0]]}, {"start": 629.071, "end": 631.671, "text": "to then learn things that they never knew that they didn't know.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to then learn things that they never knew", 629.07, 630.79, 1.0], ["that they didn't know.", 630.79, 631.67, 1.0]]}, {"start": 632.071, "end": 635.686, "text": "And I've mentioned this before, where I've had a number of...", "confidence": 0.94, "timestamps": [["And I've mentioned this before,", 632.07, 633.71, 1.0], ["where I've had a number of...", 633.71, 635.69, 0.8789699077606201]]}, {"start": 636.514, "end": 644.164, "text": "Couples who have said as much as they don't want to say out loud that had one of these things not happened to bring them into therapy", "confidence": 0.99, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Couples who have said as much as they don't want to say out loud that had one of these things not happened to bring them into therapy", 636.51, 644.16, 0.9871322512626648]]}, {"start": 644.204, "end": 649.644, "text": "They never would understand the way that a marriage can be when they have the right tools,", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["They never would understand the way that a marriage can be when they have the right tools,", 644.2, 649.64, 0.9871322512626648]]}, {"start": 650.693, "end": 655.564, "text": "But in the article they say why did these marriages survive where other marriages did not?", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["But in the article they say why did these marriages survive where other marriages did not?", 650.69, 655.56, 0.9871322512626648]]}, {"start": 656.284, "end": 660.044, "text": "Spouses stories on how their marriages got happier fell into three broad headings,", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["Spouses stories on how their marriages got happier fell into three broad headings,", 656.28, 660.04, 0.9871322512626648]]}, {"start": 660.649, "end": 665.322, "text": "The marital endurance ethic the marital work ethic and the personal happiness ethic,", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["The marital endurance ethic the marital work ethic and the personal happiness ethic,", 660.65, 665.32, 0.9871322512626648]]}, {"start": 666.069, "end": 674.108, "text": "So then the next three paragraphs are really what drove me to want to address or talk about this article and the concepts that are being presented.", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["So then the next three paragraphs are really what drove me to want to address or talk about this article and the concepts that are being presented.", 666.07, 674.11, 0.9879940748214722]]}, {"start": 675.206, "end": 683.344, "text": "So the first one says, in the marital endurance ethic, and I think, well there is a typo here in the article, it says the most common story couples reported to researchers,", "confidence": 0.99, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["So the first one says, in the marital endurance ethic, and I think, well there is a typo here in the article, it says the most common story couples reported to researchers,", 675.21, 683.34, 0.9879940748214722]]}, {"start": 683.344, "end": 697.284, "text": "researchers, marriages got marriages not because partners resolved problems, but because they", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["researchers, marriages got marriages not because partners resolved problems, but because they", 683.34, 697.28, 1.0]]}, {"start": 697.284, "end": 702.844, "text": "stubbornly outlasted them. With the passage of time, these spouses said, many sources", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["stubbornly outlasted them. With the passage of time, these spouses said, many sources", 697.28, 702.84, 1.0]]}, {"start": 702.844, "end": 707.924, "text": "of conflict and distress eased. Financial problems, job reversals, depression, child", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["of conflict and distress eased. Financial problems, job reversals, depression, child", 702.84, 707.92, 1.0]]}, {"start": 707.924, "end": 714.484, "text": "problems, even infidelity. So this is not a sales pitch from the seat of a marriage therapist,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["problems, even infidelity. So this is not a sales pitch from the seat of a marriage therapist,", 707.92, 714.48, 1.0]]}, {"start": 715.113, "end": 720.644, "text": "that the problems weren't resolved, not because partners resolve problems, but because they", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that the problems weren't resolved, not because partners resolve problems, but because they", 715.11, 720.64, 1.0]]}, {"start": 720.644, "end": 728.244, "text": "stubbornly outlasted them and with the passage of time. So from my chair, this is where we settle.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["stubbornly outlasted them and with the passage of time. So from my chair, this is where we settle.", 720.64, 728.24, 1.0]]}, {"start": 729.013, "end": 734.004, "text": "Where we don't go find the tools to be able to talk about things and process very difficult", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Where we don't go find the tools to be able to talk about things and process very difficult", 729.01, 734.0, 1.0]]}, {"start": 734.004, "end": 740.304, "text": "topics and so eventually we stop talking about them and we settle in and we just,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["topics and so eventually we stop talking about them and we settle in and we just,", 734.0, 740.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 740.77, "end": 744.024, "text": "assume that this is just something that we're always going to have to deal with,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["assume that this is just something that we're always going to have to deal with,", 740.77, 744.02, 1.0]]}, {"start": 744.686, "end": 748.784, "text": "and that is why that alone is one of the reasons I wanted to address this survey,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and that is why that alone is one of the reasons I wanted to address this survey,", 744.69, 748.78, 1.0]]}, {"start": 749.394, "end": 752.944, "text": "because it was shared a lot when it came out a year or so ago.", "confidence": 0.96, "timestamps": [["because it was shared a lot when it came out a year or so ago.", 749.39, 752.94, 0.9592600464820862]]}, {"start": 753.697, "end": 761.124, "text": "What I think happens so often are that couples go through some challenges because they are human beings going through life.", "confidence": 0.98, "timestamps": [["What I think happens so often are that couples go through some challenges because they are human beings going through life.", 753.7, 761.12, 0.982295036315918]]}, {"start": 761.277, "end": 763.131, "text": "Life is just lifing all over them.", "confidence": 0.98, "timestamps": [["Life is just lifing all over them.", 761.28, 763.13, 0.982295036315918]]}, {"start": 763.698, "end": 773.583, "text": "So let's just take one of the, I don't want to call it easier ones, but when we're talking about financial problems, job reversals, depression, child problems, infidelity, let's go with financial problems.", "confidence": 0.98, "timestamps": [["So let's just take one of the, I don't want to call it easier ones, but when we're talking about financial problems, job reversals, depression, child problems, infidelity, let's go with financial problems.", 763.7, 773.58, 0.982295036315918]]}, {"start": 774.015, "end": 777.427, "text": "So if a couple is unable to talk about their financial problems,", "confidence": 0.98, "timestamps": [["So if a couple is unable to talk about their financial problems,", 774.01, 777.43, 0.982295036315918]]}, {"start": 777.967, "end": 784.539, "text": "And I very much believe that couples absolutely need to be open and transparent with their finances.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I very much believe that couples absolutely need to be open and transparent with their finances.", 777.97, 784.54, 1.0]]}, {"start": 785.052, "end": 788.563, "text": "And this is just my opinion, but having a shared bank account,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And this is just my opinion, but having a shared bank account,", 785.05, 788.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 789.031, "end": 795.747, "text": "but there has to be accountability and they have to be able to talk about everything from purchases to budgeting", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but there has to be accountability and they have to be able to talk about everything from purchases to budgeting", 789.03, 795.75, 1.0]]}, {"start": 795.747, "end": 800.374, "text": "to just goals and hopes and dreams with regard to finances.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to just goals and hopes and dreams with regard to finances.", 795.75, 800.37, 1.0]]}, {"start": 800.833, "end": 805.235, "text": "And full transparency, this is not one of my strong suits, that is for sure.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And full transparency, this is not one of my strong suits, that is for sure.", 800.83, 805.23, 1.0]]}, {"start": 806.252, "end": 810.303, "text": "That talking about finances is uncomfortable. And I think so often it really is a,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["That talking about finances is uncomfortable.", 806.25, 808.65, 1.0], ["And I think so often it really is a,", 808.65, 810.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 810.687, "end": 814.651, "text": "I don't even know how to talk about finances or what to talk about finances.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I don't even know how to talk about finances", 810.69, 813.31, 1.0], ["or what to talk about finances.", 813.31, 814.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 815.029, "end": 820.847, "text": "And so just like I feel like couples need to go talk with a couples therapist who has the right tools", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so just like I feel like couples need to go talk", 815.03, 817.49, 1.0], ["with a couples therapist who has the right tools", 817.61, 820.85, 1.0]]}, {"start": 820.847, "end": 822.492, "text": "or that's what they do for a living.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or that's what they do for a living.", 820.85, 822.49, 1.0]]}, {"start": 823.095, "end": 828.695, "text": "But it's also important to go talk to a financial advisor or financial planner or go find someone", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But it's also important to go talk to a financial advisor", 823.1, 826.57, 1.0], ["or financial planner or go find someone", 826.57, 828.69, 1.0]]}, {"start": 829.047, "end": 831.327, "text": "that knows what they're talking about, about finances.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that knows what they're talking about, about finances.", 829.05, 831.33, 1.0]]}, {"start": 831.846, "end": 837.887, "text": "But I digress. So let's say that there has been, there's been some really bumps in talking about finances", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But I digress.", 831.85, 832.39, 1.0], ["So let's say that there has been,", 832.39, 834.01, 1.0], ["there's been some really bumps in talking about finances", 834.01, 837.89, 1.0]]}, {"start": 837.887, "end": 838.687, "text": "in your relationship.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["in your relationship.", 837.89, 838.69, 1.0]]}, {"start": 839.074, "end": 842.0, "text": "And I feel like this, whether it's finances or any of these other topics,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I feel like this, whether it's finances", 839.07, 840.93, 1.0], ["or any of these other topics,", 840.93, 842.0, 1.0]]}, {"start": 842.287, "end": 846.852, "text": "when you just get angry and you finally had enough and you just say, I'm tired of being controlled,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["when you just get angry and you finally had enough", 842.29, 845.01, 1.0], ["and you just say, I'm tired of being controlled,", 845.01, 846.85, 1.0]]}, {"start": 847.167, "end": 850.967, "text": "I'm tired of the double standard, you spend money and then it's okay,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm tired of the double standard,", 847.17, 848.43, 1.0], ["you spend money and then it's okay,", 848.49, 850.97, 1.0]]}, {"start": 850.967, "end": 855.71, "text": "but then when I spend money, then I hear all about it or I feel like you pout or I feel like you make judgments", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but then when I spend money, then I hear all about it", 850.97, 853.15, 1.0], ["or I feel like you pout or I feel like you make judgments", 853.22, 855.71, 1.0]]}, {"start": 855.81, "end": 857.607, "text": "or I've heard every version of this.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or I've heard every version of this.", 855.81, 857.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 858.168, "end": 861.949, "text": "From couples that get alerts on their phone when the other partner spends money.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["From couples that get alerts on their phone", 858.17, 860.21, 1.0], ["when the other partner spends money.", 860.21, 861.95, 1.0]]}, {"start": 862.282, "end": 866.187, "text": "And then instead of saying any, I mean, instead of not even saying something,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then instead of saying any, I mean,", 862.28, 864.75, 0.9975039958953857], ["instead of not even saying something,", 864.75, 866.19, 0.9975039958953857]]}, {"start": 866.187, "end": 869.754, "text": "it's saying, hey, just making sure that that's something you really wanted to buy.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["it's saying, hey, just making sure", 866.19, 867.95, 0.9975039958953857], ["that that's something you really wanted to buy.", 867.95, 869.75, 1.0]]}, {"start": 870.24, "end": 875.101, "text": "And almost having this double standard when it comes to finances or couples that say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And almost having this double standard when it comes to finances or couples that say,", 870.24, 875.1, 1.0]]}, {"start": 875.489, "end": 880.25, "text": "okay, we have to run each purchase by each other. But then when somebody decides that they really", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["okay, we have to run each purchase by each other. But then when somebody decides that they really", 875.49, 880.25, 1.0]]}, {"start": 880.25, "end": 884.65, "text": "want to get something, then it's almost as if they play dumb and they don't run that purchase", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["want to get something, then it's almost as if they play dumb and they don't run that purchase", 880.25, 884.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 884.65, "end": 889.37, "text": "by the other spouse because they don't want to be told no, or they don't want to have to justify", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["by the other spouse because they don't want to be told no, or they don't want to have to justify", 884.65, 889.37, 1.0]]}, {"start": 889.37, "end": 895.45, "text": "why they want to buy something. So the financial conversations can be really awkward. So when they", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["why they want to buy something. So the financial conversations can be really awkward. So when they", 889.37, 895.45, 1.0]]}, {"start": 895.45, "end": 900.09, "text": "finally happen and a couple gets really angry and then they blow up one of them maybe shuts", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["finally happen and a couple gets really angry and then they blow up one of them maybe shuts", 895.45, 900.09, 1.0]]}, {"start": 900.09, "end": 905.556, "text": "down and then they finally just they go away from the conversation and they are just unhappy.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["down and then they finally just they go away from the conversation and they are just unhappy.", 900.09, 905.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 906.07, "end": 910.41, "text": "So then they go back into their bunkers and whether a day, two, three days pass and there's", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So then they go back into their bunkers and whether a day, two, three days pass and there's", 906.07, 910.41, 1.0]]}, {"start": 910.41, "end": 915.97, "text": "maybe the silent treatment or it's just very awkward that eventually we don't like to sit with discomfort.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["maybe the silent treatment or it's just very awkward that eventually we don't like to sit", 910.41, 914.97, 1.0], ["with discomfort.", 914.97, 915.97, 1.0]]}, {"start": 915.97, "end": 920.29, "text": "So someone will come out of that bunker and say, Hey, sorry, I know that didn't really", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So someone will come out of that bunker and say, Hey, sorry, I know that didn't really", 915.97, 920.29, 1.0]]}, {"start": 920.29, "end": 922.318, "text": "go well and are we okay?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["go well and are we okay?", 920.29, 922.32, 1.0]]}, {"start": 922.53, "end": 925.55, "text": "And then the other person feels relieved and says, yeah, no, it's okay.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then the other person feels relieved and says, yeah, no, it's okay.", 922.53, 925.55, 1.0]]}, {"start": 926.15, "end": 930.132, "text": "And then if I am working with that couple, they come into my office and then they say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then if I am working with that couple, they come into my office and then they say,", 926.15, 930.13, 1.0]]}, {"start": 930.402, "end": 935.09, "text": "yeah, we had some awkward moments or we had some rough conversations around finances,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["yeah, we had some awkward moments or we had some rough conversations around finances,", 930.4, 935.09, 1.0]]}, {"start": 935.09, "end": 936.875, "text": "but we were able to work it out and we're okay.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but we were able to work it out and we're okay.", 935.09, 936.87, 1.0]]}, {"start": 937.53, "end": 940.296, "text": "And then this is where if I say, well, tell me how you worked it out.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And then this is where if I say, well, tell me how you worked it out.", 937.53, 940.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 940.71, "end": 944.57, "text": "And then I will often just hear, well, no, I mean, I think we handled it pretty well.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then I will often just hear, well, no, I mean, I think we handled it pretty well.", 940.71, 944.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 944.57, "end": 947.165, "text": "So I think that we're okay, we're ready to move on.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So I think that we're okay, we're ready to move on.", 944.57, 947.16, 1.0]]}, {"start": 947.45, "end": 951.77, "text": "And that just means that you didn't talk about it. You got angry, you shut down.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And that just means that you didn't talk about it.", 947.45, 949.97, 1.0], ["You got angry, you shut down.", 949.97, 951.77, 1.0]]}, {"start": 951.77, "end": 955.09, "text": "We came out of the bunker and said, sorry, that eases our anxiety,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["We came out of the bunker and said, sorry,", 951.77, 953.48, 1.0], ["that eases our anxiety,", 953.57, 955.09, 1.0]]}, {"start": 955.09, "end": 957.21, "text": "that relieves this tension in the relationship.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that relieves this tension in the relationship.", 955.09, 957.21, 1.0]]}, {"start": 957.409, "end": 960.956, "text": "And so we start to just believe that that means that things are okay,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so we start to just believe", 957.41, 959.21, 1.0], ["that that means that things are okay,", 959.21, 960.96, 1.0]]}, {"start": 961.09, "end": 962.261, "text": "but we didn't deal with anything.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but we didn't deal with anything.", 961.09, 962.26, 1.0]]}, {"start": 962.75, "end": 968.65, "text": "So those issues are gonna come up over and over again, and we're gonna continue in that pattern", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So those issues are gonna come up over and over again,", 962.75, 966.8, 1.0], ["and we're gonna continue in that pattern", 966.93, 968.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 968.65, "end": 972.128, "text": "of just somebody finally blows up, the conversation doesn't go well,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["of just somebody finally blows up,", 968.65, 970.63, 1.0], ["the conversation doesn't go well,", 970.77, 972.13, 1.0]]}, {"start": 972.29, "end": 977.079, "text": "we both retreat, it feels awkward, and then we come out of our bunkers and we got through it.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["we both retreat, it feels awkward,", 972.29, 974.65, 1.0], ["and then we come out of our bunkers and we got through it.", 974.65, 977.08, 1.0]]}, {"start": 977.61, "end": 983.804, "text": "So I feel like that is part of what this stubbornly outlasting your problems in your marriage means.", "confidence": 0.93, "timestamps": [["So I feel like that is part of what this", 977.61, 979.84, 1.0], ["stubbornly outlasting your problems in your marriage means.", 979.93, 983.8, 0.8678035140037537]]}, {"start": 984.488, "end": 989.331, "text": "And so then over time, if somebody honestly feels like apathetic or just stuck in their relationship,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so then over time, if somebody honestly feels like apathetic or just stuck in their relationship,", 984.49, 989.33, 1.0]]}, {"start": 989.817, "end": 993.938, "text": "then they would check the box of this marital endurance ethic and say.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then they would check the box of this marital endurance ethic and say.", 989.82, 993.94, 1.0]]}, {"start": 994.949, "end": 999.458, "text": "Okay, yeah, no, we got through it. We resolved their problems. We stubbornly outlasted them", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Okay, yeah, no, we got through it. We resolved their problems. We stubbornly outlasted them", 994.95, 999.46, 1.0]]}, {"start": 999.458, "end": 1005.76, "text": "thanks to the passage of time. And so that is not the way to find yourself in a thriving marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["thanks to the passage of time. And so that is not the way to find yourself in a thriving marriage.", 999.46, 1005.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1006.098, "end": 1012.898, "text": "So I take great exception in that first way that marriages, and I'm going to air quote, say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So I take great exception in that first way that marriages, and I'm going to air quote, say,", 1006.1, 1012.9, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1012.898, "end": 1018.578, "text": "survive. The second paragraph, the article, they say that in the marital work ethic, spouses", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["survive. The second paragraph, the article, they say that in the marital work ethic, spouses", 1012.9, 1018.58, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1018.578, "end": 1023.698, "text": "told stories of actively working to solve problems, change behavior, or improve communication.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["told stories of actively working to solve problems, change behavior, or improve communication.", 1018.58, 1023.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1023.698, "end": 1027.818, "text": "When the problem was solved, the marriage got happier. I love everything about those", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["When the problem was solved, the marriage got happier. I love everything about those", 1023.7, 1027.82, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1027.818, "end": 1033.478, "text": "first two sentences. Here's the part that I find challenging. Strategies for improving", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["first two sentences. Here's the part that I find challenging. Strategies for improving", 1027.82, 1033.48, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1033.478, "end": 1038.058, "text": "marriages mentioned by spouses range from arranging dates. Again, I'm a huge fan. I", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["marriages mentioned by spouses range from arranging dates. Again, I'm a huge fan. I", 1033.48, 1038.06, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1038.058, "end": 1042.618, "text": "think every couple should have a date night. My wife and I have had date nights for 30", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["think every couple should have a date night. My wife and I have had date nights for 30", 1038.06, 1042.62, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1042.618, "end": 1048.557, "text": "or more, or other ways to spend time together, enlisting the help and advice of relatives or in-laws.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or more, or other ways to spend time together, enlisting the help and advice of relatives or in-laws.", 1042.62, 1048.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1048.656, "end": 1054.618, "text": "Here's where we're starting to get into the area of red flags. Enlisting the help and advice of relatives or in-laws.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Here's where we're starting to get into the area of red flags. Enlisting the help and advice of relatives or in-laws.", 1048.66, 1054.62, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1054.618, "end": 1061.618, "text": "Now, that can be a good thing if it's looked at with, hey, tell me, give me some ideas of how you guys have maybe thrived in your marriage,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Now, that can be a good thing if it's looked at with, hey, tell me, give me some ideas of how you guys have maybe thrived in your marriage,", 1054.62, 1061.62, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1061.745, "end": 1070.618, "text": "but not saying, what should we do? Because now we're giving somebody else that power, and now we've got this third party that we are now looking to to say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but not saying, what should we do? Because now we're giving somebody else that power, and now we've got this third party that we are now looking to to say,", 1061.75, 1070.62, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1071.045, "end": 1073.331, "text": "hey, you tell us how to be happier.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["hey, you tell us how to be happier.", 1071.04, 1073.33, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1073.898, "end": 1077.589, "text": "And we've now got this like triangulation going on in the relationship.", "confidence": 0.87, "timestamps": [["And we've now got this like triangulation going on", 1073.9, 1076.98, 1.0], ["in the relationship.", 1076.98, 1077.59, 0.7386319041252136]]}, {"start": 1078.247, "end": 1086.097, "text": "But they say also enlisting the help and advice of relatives or in-laws to consulting clergy or secular counselors to threatening divorce and consulting divorce attorneys.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["But they say also enlisting the help and advice of relatives or in-laws to consulting clergy or secular counselors to threatening divorce and consulting divorce attorneys.", 1078.25, 1086.1, 0.9960454106330872]]}, {"start": 1086.772, "end": 1088.097, "text": "So, let's work backwards there.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["So, let's work backwards there.", 1086.77, 1088.1, 0.9960454106330872]]}, {"start": 1088.097, "end": 1097.097, "text": "So, saying that in the marital work ethic, the way that we have solved problems or changed behavior or improved communications has been to threaten divorce and consult divorce attorneys.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So, saying that in the marital work ethic, the way that we have solved problems or changed behavior or improved communications has been to threaten divorce and consult divorce attorneys.", 1088.1, 1097.1, 0.9960454106330872]]}, {"start": 1097.097, "end": 1101.177, "text": "Attorneys. Now, I understand that this is where sometimes when somebody doesn't", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Attorneys. Now, I understand that this is where sometimes when somebody doesn't", 1097.1, 1101.18, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1101.177, "end": 1105.937, "text": "know how to express themselves or be heard or understood, then they may find", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["know how to express themselves or be heard or understood, then they may find", 1101.18, 1105.94, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1105.937, "end": 1108.777, "text": "themselves finally getting to the point where they are done and they want to", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["themselves finally getting to the point where they are done and they want to", 1105.94, 1108.78, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1108.777, "end": 1112.897, "text": "threaten divorce and the other person says, okay, that's fine. I'll change.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["threaten divorce and the other person says, okay, that's fine. I'll change.", 1108.78, 1112.9, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1113.661, "end": 1117.897, "text": "But I don't feel like that means that we're getting to address the core issues", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["But I don't feel like that means that we're getting to address the core issues", 1113.66, 1117.9, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1117.897, "end": 1122.137, "text": "of why we can't communicate in the first place or why the marriage got into the", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["of why we can't communicate in the first place or why the marriage got into the", 1117.9, 1122.14, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1122.137, "end": 1126.297, "text": "position that it's in. And then consulting clergy or secular counselors.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["position that it's in. And then consulting clergy or secular counselors.", 1122.14, 1126.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1126.297, "end": 1132.217, "text": "So I would be considered a secular counselor, that's great. And I know that there can be some", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So I would be considered a secular counselor, that's great. And I know that there can be some", 1126.3, 1132.22, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1132.217, "end": 1138.265, "text": "real benefits to consulting clergy, but I've worked with a lot of people in the faith community,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["real benefits to consulting clergy, but I've worked with a lot of people in the faith community,", 1132.22, 1138.26, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1138.67, "end": 1145.097, "text": "and I worry at times what can be called, it's the leadership roulette, where you may get someone", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I worry at times what can be called, it's the leadership roulette, where you may get someone", 1138.67, 1145.1, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1145.241, "end": 1149.382, "text": "that feels like they've got their life figured out, maybe they've done well financially,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that feels like they've got their life figured out, maybe they've done well financially,", 1145.24, 1149.38, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1149.824, "end": 1155.177, "text": "and it's a pastor, a preacher, a bishop, a reverend who just says,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and it's a pastor, a preacher, a bishop, a reverend who just says,", 1149.82, 1155.18, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1155.177, "end": 1159.577, "text": "well, here's what you need to do. And that's the part that I struggle with, because here's what", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["well, here's what you need to do. And that's the part that I struggle with, because here's what", 1155.18, 1159.58, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1159.577, "end": 1164.697, "text": "you need to do is in essence saying, hey, here's what's worked for me. And so this is what I know.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["you need to do is in essence saying, hey, here's what's worked for me. And so this is what I know.", 1159.58, 1164.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1164.848, "end": 1168.098, "text": "And so you guys need to do this because I'm happy.", "confidence": 0.91, "timestamps": [["And so you guys need to do this because I'm happy.", 1164.85, 1168.1, 0.9113039970397949]]}, {"start": 1168.854, "end": 1179.984, "text": "And there are situations where then I want to say, well, let's, let's check in and see what this is, what's going on for the couple in particular, because every, everybody's bringing different things into the relationship.", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["And there are situations where then I want to say, well, let's, let's check in and see what this is, what's going on for the couple in particular, because every, everybody's bringing different things into the relationship.", 1168.85, 1179.98, 0.9747165441513062]]}, {"start": 1180.674, "end": 1188.264, "text": "And then looking for the advice of relatives or in-laws, again, I'm offered to tell me more, give me some advice, but not the, what do you guys think we should do?", "confidence": 0.97, "timestamps": [["And then looking for the advice of relatives or in-laws, again, I'm offered to tell me more, give me some advice, but not the, what do you guys think we should do?", 1180.67, 1188.26, 0.9747165441513062]]}, {"start": 1188.731, "end": 1194.664, "text": "Because here's the psychology, I call it the psychology of the peanut gallery, is so often if we go ask somebody else,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Because here's the psychology, I call it the psychology of the peanut gallery, is so often if we go ask somebody else,", 1188.73, 1194.66, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1194.664, "end": 1197.064, "text": "well, what do you think that we should do? Or what do you think I should do?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["well, what do you think that we should do? Or what do you think I should do?", 1194.66, 1197.06, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1198.013, "end": 1203.108, "text": "That we may already have an idea of what we think and we want you to validate us, but we're not going to put it out there.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["That we may already have an idea of what we think and we want you to validate us, but we're not going to put it out there.", 1198.01, 1203.11, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1203.837, "end": 1209.264, "text": "So if you don't say the right thing, then the thing that we really want you to say, then we're going to say, I don't know.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So if you don't say the right thing, then the thing that we really want you to say, then we're going to say, I don't know.", 1203.84, 1209.26, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1209.716, "end": 1213.264, "text": "I don't know if that would work. I don't think you understand our situation or what's going on for me.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I don't know if that would work. I don't think you understand our situation or what's going on for me.", 1209.72, 1213.26, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1213.767, "end": 1227.264, "text": "And so, we're really looking for that external validation to make us happy, and when that's the case, then more often than not, the person that is responding to you, they aren't going to say the thing that you're looking for.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so, we're really looking for that external validation to make us happy, and when that's the case, then more often than not, the person that is responding to you, they aren't going to say the thing that you're looking for.", 1213.77, 1227.26, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1227.264, "end": 1231.264, "text": "So then you not only feel now like they don't understand, but what's wrong with you?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So then you not only feel now like they don't understand, but what's wrong with you?", 1227.26, 1231.26, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1232.041, "end": 1235.174, "text": "And that's one of those challenges of when you're seeking external validation.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And that's one of those challenges of when you're seeking external validation.", 1232.04, 1235.17, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1235.57, "end": 1238.704, "text": "But another part that I find that can be a challenge", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But another part that I find that can be a challenge", 1235.57, 1238.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1239.072, "end": 1244.528, "text": "with that model, and why I refer to this as psychology of the peanut gallery,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["with that model, and why I refer to this as", 1239.07, 1243.1, 1.0], ["psychology of the peanut gallery,", 1243.1, 1244.53, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1244.704, "end": 1249.704, "text": "is that when we are asked for our advice, oftentimes we don't want to let somebody down,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["is that when we are asked for our advice,", 1244.7, 1247.5, 1.0], ["oftentimes we don't want to let somebody down,", 1247.64, 1249.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1249.704, "end": 1252.544, "text": "but this isn't something that we've been thinking about a lot, so then we're put on the spot,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but this isn't something that we've been thinking about", 1249.7, 1251.18, 1.0], ["a lot, so then we're put on the spot,", 1251.18, 1252.54, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1252.544, "end": 1253.863, "text": "and we think, well, I need to sound smart,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and we think, well, I need to sound smart,", 1252.54, 1253.86, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1254.404, "end": 1257.698, "text": "so let me just pull something out of thin air and give you some advice.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["so let me just pull something out of thin air", 1254.4, 1256.5, 1.0], ["and give you some advice.", 1256.5, 1257.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1258.184, "end": 1261.664, "text": "Because I'm being asked to give advice, and I want to follow through, and I want,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Because I'm being asked to give advice,", 1258.18, 1259.7, 1.0], ["and I want to follow through, and I want,", 1259.7, 1261.66, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1261.664, "end": 1265.904, "text": "and hopefully this is something that will sound good, but it might then even be the person", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and hopefully this is something that will sound good,", 1261.66, 1263.42, 1.0], ["but it might then even be the person", 1263.98, 1265.9, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1265.904, "end": 1269.779, "text": "that is offering the advices version of what they wish that was happening in their marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that is offering the advices version", 1265.9, 1267.6, 1.0], ["of what they wish that was happening in their marriage.", 1267.6, 1269.78, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1270.324, "end": 1273.119, "text": "So there's a lot of layers there that can really be a challenge.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So there's a lot of layers there", 1270.32, 1271.98, 1.0], ["that can really be a challenge.", 1271.98, 1273.12, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1273.764, "end": 1277.584, "text": "The third bullet point, and then we'll go back up to the beginning of this article.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["The third bullet point,", 1273.76, 1275.36, 1.0], ["and then we'll go back up to the beginning of this article.", 1275.36, 1277.58, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1278.673, "end": 1288.053, "text": "And again, my biases are all in the way, but this one might be one of the least sales pitches that I would want to put out there for marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And again, my biases are all in the way, but this one might be one of the least sales pitches that I would want to put out there for marriage.", 1278.67, 1288.05, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1288.675, "end": 1295.523, "text": "I say, finally, in the personal happiness epic, marriage problems did not seem to change that much.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I say, finally, in the personal happiness epic, marriage problems did not seem to change that much.", 1288.67, 1295.52, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1296.2, "end": 1306.157, "text": "Instead, married people and these accounts told stories of finding alternative ways to improve their own happiness and build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Instead, married people and these accounts told stories of finding alternative ways to improve their own happiness and build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage.", 1296.2, 1306.16, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1306.778, "end": 1309.506, "text": "If you are just feeling like you are stuck,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["If you are just feeling like you are stuck,", 1306.78, 1309.51, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1310.163, "end": 1311.923, "text": "then go find your own happiness.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then go find your own happiness.", 1310.16, 1311.92, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1311.923, "end": 1314.619, "text": "Build a good, happy life despite your mediocre marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Build a good, happy life despite your mediocre marriage.", 1311.92, 1314.62, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1315.443, "end": 1322.064, "text": "Now, I am, again, I really feel like part of the tools that we don't know, that we don't know about,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Now, I am, again, I really feel like part of the tools", 1315.44, 1320.2, 1.0], ["that we don't know, that we don't know about,", 1320.2, 1322.06, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1322.843, "end": 1327.735, "text": "are that we do come into relationships in this place where we have this codependency,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["are that we do come into relationships", 1322.84, 1325.44, 1.0], ["in this place where we have this codependency,", 1325.44, 1327.74, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1328.223, "end": 1330.967, "text": "this enmeshment where we got into the relationship,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["this enmeshment where we got into the relationship,", 1328.22, 1330.97, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1331.523, "end": 1338.543, "text": "both of us are a lot emotionally immature, And so when we're going through the courting or dating phase", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["both of us are a lot emotionally immature,", 1331.52, 1334.78, 1.0], ["And so when we're going through the courting or dating phase", 1335.24, 1338.54, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1338.543, "end": 1343.525, "text": "that we often agree on so many things, because even if we somewhat disagree,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that we often agree on so many things,", 1338.54, 1340.87, 1.0], ["because even if we somewhat disagree,", 1341.34, 1343.53, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1343.763, "end": 1345.317, "text": "we don't wanna lose this person.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["we don't wanna lose this person.", 1343.76, 1345.32, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1346.183, "end": 1351.063, "text": "And so if somebody brings up a political view, and let's say, I don't know,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And so if somebody brings up a political view,", 1346.18, 1349.21, 1.0], ["and let's say, I don't know,", 1349.58, 1351.06, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1351.063, "end": 1357.992, "text": "let's say that your core, you're very liberal, and then the woman that you're dating is very conservative,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["let's say that your core, you're very liberal,", 1351.06, 1353.97, 1.0], ["and then the woman that you're dating is very conservative,", 1354.34, 1357.99, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1358.383, "end": 1359.981, "text": "but she's also very pretty.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but she's also very pretty.", 1358.38, 1359.98, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1360.503, "end": 1364.321, "text": "Then she says, hey, here are my conservative views. Tell me what you think.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Then she says, hey, here are my conservative views.", 1360.5, 1363.43, 1.0], ["Tell me what you think.", 1363.54, 1364.32, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1364.983, "end": 1370.143, "text": "Then oftentimes this is what that codependency or that enmeshment or that fear of abandonment", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Then oftentimes this is what that codependency", 1364.98, 1367.3, 1.0], ["or that enmeshment or that fear of abandonment", 1367.3, 1370.14, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1370.143, "end": 1374.25, "text": "or our attachment wounds look like in that scenario, in that dating scenario.", "confidence": 0.93, "timestamps": [["or our attachment wounds look like in that scenario,", 1370.14, 1373.34, 1.0], ["in that dating scenario.", 1373.34, 1374.25, 0.8652232885360718]]}, {"start": 1375.078, "end": 1379.363, "text": "The the guy then who is more liberal is gonna say, you know what? I yeah, I think I.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["The the guy then who is more liberal is gonna say, you know what? I yeah, I think I.", 1375.08, 1379.36, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1380.219, "end": 1387.808, "text": "Agree, I've never looked at it that way or you know I've always felt the same way where if in the back of their mind they're thinking I do not think the same way or,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Agree, I've never looked at it that way or you know", 1380.22, 1382.66, 1.0], ["I've always felt the same way where if in the back of their mind they're thinking I do not think the same way or,", 1382.93, 1387.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1388.366, "end": 1396.288, "text": "You know, I really don't have much of an opinion I don't know if that's really what I would authentically say to a friend, but she's really really pretty so yeah", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["You know, I really don't have much of an opinion", 1388.37, 1389.81, 1.0], ["I don't know if that's really what I would authentically say to a friend, but she's really really pretty so yeah", 1389.81, 1396.29, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1396.288, "end": 1396.848, "text": "No, you know what?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["No, you know what?", 1396.29, 1396.85, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1396.848, "end": 1402.608, "text": "I kind of think that too and so we do that so often and because we don't want to offend someone", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I kind of think that too and so we do that so often and because we don't want to offend someone", 1396.85, 1402.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1402.608, "end": 1410.728, "text": "We don't want to look dumb. We're worried that if we give our true opinion Then that person will leave and this thing plays out in just regular relationships.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["We don't want to look dumb. We're worried that if we give our true opinion", 1402.61, 1406.45, 1.0], ["Then that person will leave and this thing plays out in just regular relationships.", 1406.6, 1410.73, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1411.368, "end": 1418.528, "text": "Conversations in the workplace I feel like this is one where just to test this sometime if you're having a conversation with someone", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Conversations in the workplace", 1411.37, 1412.36, 1.0], ["I feel like this is one where just to test this sometime if you're having a conversation with someone", 1412.65, 1418.53, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1418.528, "end": 1428.688, "text": "Let's say even say just kind of a mild acquaintance and they say hey Have you ever thought about fill in the blank or what are your thoughts on and if you ever find yourself having a strong opinion?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Let's say even say just kind of a mild acquaintance and they say hey", 1418.53, 1422.21, 1.0], ["Have you ever thought about fill in the blank or what are your thoughts on and if you ever find yourself having a strong opinion?", 1422.21, 1428.69, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1428.688, "end": 1433.107, "text": "But then waffling or easing into it or not giving your full opinion or saying,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But then waffling or easing into it or not giving your full opinion or saying,", 1428.69, 1433.11, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1433.323, "end": 1435.108, "text": "you know, I don't know. That's something I'm curious. I don't know.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["you know, I don't know. That's something I'm curious. I don't know.", 1433.32, 1435.11, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1435.108, "end": 1435.808, "text": "What are your thoughts?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["What are your thoughts?", 1435.11, 1435.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1436.276, "end": 1439.808, "text": "And then they give some thought that is seems that it's really not what you're", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then they give some thought that is seems that it's really not what you're", 1436.28, 1439.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1439.808, "end": 1442.568, "text": "thinking, but you say, yeah, no, that's a really good point. Or yeah, no,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["thinking, but you say, yeah, no, that's a really good point. Or yeah, no,", 1439.81, 1442.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1442.568, "end": 1443.775, "text": "I've always thought that same thing.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I've always thought that same thing.", 1442.57, 1443.77, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1444.189, "end": 1448.808, "text": "It's because we're so afraid that that person is going to get angry with us or", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["It's because we're so afraid that that person is going to get angry with us or", 1444.19, 1448.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1448.808, "end": 1451.288, "text": "they're going to think that our position is dumb or we're going to feel like we", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["they're going to think that our position is dumb or we're going to feel like we", 1448.81, 1451.29, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1451.288, "end": 1452.597, "text": "can't defend our position.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["can't defend our position.", 1451.29, 1452.6, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1452.966, "end": 1456.468, "text": "And so when that stuff is happening in the relationship so often we do file that", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so when that stuff is happening in the relationship so often we do file that", 1452.97, 1456.47, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1456.468, "end": 1461.828, "text": "away in the, I'll just deal with this later because I'm sure that I'm sure that we're on a similar page.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["away in the, I'll just deal with this later because I'm sure that I'm sure", 1456.47, 1459.95, 1.0], ["that we're on a similar page.", 1459.95, 1461.83, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1461.887, "end": 1462.652, "text": "We probably are.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["We probably are.", 1461.89, 1462.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1463.183, "end": 1467.148, "text": "So when people get into the relationships and they are more of that enmeshed and", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So when people get into the relationships and they are more of that enmeshed and", 1463.18, 1467.15, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1467.148, "end": 1470.448, "text": "codependent and afraid of abandonment, we don't want that other person to, to,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["codependent and afraid of abandonment, we don't want that other person to, to,", 1467.15, 1470.45, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1471.028, "end": 1474.806, "text": "leave and they may leave if they find out our, our what's in our heart or see", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["leave and they may leave if they find out our, our what's in our heart or see", 1471.03, 1474.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1475.128, "end": 1476.606, "text": "that our, our truly authentic self.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that our, our truly authentic self.", 1475.13, 1476.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1477.569, "end": 1484.608, "text": "And to be fair, we may not have strong opinions on things. So I'm not saying that if you, you have to immediately come up with an opinion.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And to be fair, we may not have strong opinions on things.", 1477.57, 1480.55, 1.0], ["So I'm not saying that if you, you have to immediately come up with an opinion.", 1480.59, 1484.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1484.608, "end": 1487.292, "text": "If somebody has something that you haven't thought of.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["If somebody has something that you haven't thought of.", 1484.61, 1487.29, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1487.931, "end": 1491.408, "text": "But where I'm going with this is that, okay, that's how we show up in a relationship", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But where I'm going with this is that,", 1487.93, 1489.12, 1.0], ["okay, that's how we show up in a relationship", 1489.23, 1491.41, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1491.408, "end": 1494.665, "text": "because it's just the way that we do, and we're human, and we're going through life", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["because it's just the way that we do,", 1491.41, 1492.93, 1.0], ["and we're human, and we're going through life", 1492.98, 1494.66, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1494.71, "end": 1496.69, "text": "for the very first time in this relationship.", "confidence": 0.93, "timestamps": [["for the very first time in this relationship.", 1494.71, 1496.69, 0.9287998676300049]]}, {"start": 1497.455, "end": 1503.305, "text": "But then we start going through experiences in life. We do change jobs, or we have financial", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But then we start going through experiences in life. We do change jobs, or we have financial", 1497.46, 1503.31, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1503.305, "end": 1508.492, "text": "issues, or we have kids, or we move, or we graduate, or there's a death of a parent, or", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["issues, or we have kids, or we move, or we graduate, or there's a death of a parent, or", 1503.31, 1508.49, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1508.555, "end": 1514.025, "text": "so many different things. And then as you go through these experiences in life, then you are", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["so many different things. And then as you go through these experiences in life, then you are", 1508.56, 1514.03, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1514.025, "end": 1519.785, "text": "both going to react or respond differently because you're two different human beings that are coming", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["both going to react or respond differently because you're two different human beings that are coming", 1514.03, 1519.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1519.785, "end": 1525.625, "text": "to that very moment with two completely separate backgrounds. All the things that make it what it", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to that very moment with two completely separate backgrounds. All the things that make it what it", 1519.79, 1525.63, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1525.625, "end": 1526.757, "text": "what it feels like to be you.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["what it feels like to be you.", 1525.63, 1526.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1527.585, "end": 1532.605, "text": "And then at this point, when we start to express ourselves, now is where the emotional maturity", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And then at this point, when we start to express ourselves,", 1527.59, 1530.43, 1.0], ["now is where the emotional maturity", 1530.63, 1532.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1532.605, "end": 1534.103, "text": "starts to really manifest itself.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["starts to really manifest itself.", 1532.61, 1534.1, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1534.765, "end": 1539.964, "text": "Are you with a partner or can you tolerate discomfort? Or can you look at things with curiosity?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Are you with a partner or can you tolerate discomfort?", 1534.77, 1537.8, 1.0], ["Or can you look at things with curiosity?", 1538.01, 1539.96, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1540.385, "end": 1543.862, "text": "Are you okay that your spouse has a completely different point of view?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Are you okay that your spouse", 1540.39, 1542.01, 1.0], ["has a completely different point of view?", 1542.01, 1543.86, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1544.325, "end": 1549.845, "text": "Because remember when we got into the relationship, there was a fear that if we weren't all on the same page", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Because remember when we got into the relationship,", 1544.33, 1546.38, 1.0], ["there was a fear that if we weren't all on the same page", 1546.55, 1549.85, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1549.845, "end": 1553.965, "text": "and if we didn't think the same about so many things, that then that must mean", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and if we didn't think the same about so many things,", 1549.85, 1552.35, 1.0], ["that then that must mean", 1552.81, 1553.97, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1554.223, "end": 1555.493, "text": "that this person is gonna leave me.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that this person is gonna leave me.", 1554.22, 1555.49, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1556.078, "end": 1562.685, "text": "And this is where that emotional immaturity looks at life almost from this an aspect of life is this zero sum game,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And this is where that emotional immaturity looks at life", 1556.08, 1558.89, 1.0], ["almost from this an aspect of life is this zero sum game,", 1558.89, 1562.69, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1562.685, "end": 1567.115, "text": "which means that there's a right and a wrong, that there's a good and a bad in everything.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["which means that there's a right and a wrong,", 1562.69, 1564.67, 1.0], ["that there's a good and a bad in everything.", 1564.93, 1567.11, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1567.565, "end": 1572.138, "text": "So if we have differing opinions, if we're feeling pretty emotionally immature,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So if we have differing opinions,", 1567.57, 1569.93, 1.0], ["if we're feeling pretty emotionally immature,", 1569.93, 1572.14, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1572.408, "end": 1575.838, "text": "then we're gonna assume then if our spouse has a different opinion,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then we're gonna assume then", 1572.41, 1573.95, 1.0], ["if our spouse has a different opinion,", 1573.95, 1575.84, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1576.005, "end": 1577.98, "text": "then they must think our opinion is wrong.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then they must think our opinion is wrong.", 1576.01, 1577.98, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1578.405, "end": 1582.067, "text": "So now often we defend our fragile egos, we defend our opinions,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So now often we defend our fragile egos,", 1578.41, 1580.97, 1.0], ["we defend our opinions,", 1580.97, 1582.07, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1582.445, "end": 1585.821, "text": "And then we feel like we have to attack and put down the opinion of our partner.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then we feel like we have to attack", 1582.45, 1584.01, 1.0], ["and put down the opinion of our partner.", 1584.01, 1585.82, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1586.445, "end": 1588.805, "text": "And it can be subtle. We can even say things like,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And it can be subtle.", 1586.45, 1587.81, 1.0], ["We can even say things like,", 1587.81, 1588.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1588.805, "end": 1590.971, "text": "really, I didn't really know that you felt that way.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["really, I didn't really know that you felt that way.", 1588.81, 1590.97, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1591.205, "end": 1592.672, "text": "That's kind of interesting.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["That's kind of interesting.", 1591.21, 1592.67, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1592.845, "end": 1594.965, "text": "Huh, I thought that you thought something else.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Huh, I thought that you thought something else.", 1592.85, 1594.97, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1595.148, "end": 1599.125, "text": "I thought we were always on the same page. And that's the stuff that will passive aggressively", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I thought we were always on the same page.", 1595.15, 1596.87, 1.0], ["And that's the stuff that will passive aggressively", 1596.93, 1599.13, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1599.125, "end": 1603.285, "text": "have your partner responding and saying, I don't know, I don't know, maybe you're right.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["have your partner responding and saying,", 1599.13, 1601.0, 1.0], ["I don't know, I don't know, maybe you're right.", 1601.45, 1603.29, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1603.285, "end": 1607.245, "text": "Maybe I'm crazy. This isn't something that I really do have the strong of opinion on.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Maybe I'm crazy.", 1603.29, 1604.61, 1.0], ["This isn't something that I really do", 1604.61, 1606.05, 1.0], ["have the strong of opinion on.", 1606.05, 1607.25, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1607.245, "end": 1609.2, "text": "I don't know why I'm expressing myself this way.", "confidence": 0.94, "timestamps": [["I don't know why I'm expressing myself this way.", 1607.25, 1609.2, 0.9365226626396179]]}, {"start": 1610.163, "end": 1616.383, "text": "But our ultimate goal is as we go through life and we have different experiences that we feel safe and sharing our opinion", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["But our ultimate goal is as we go through life and we have different experiences that we feel safe and sharing our opinion", 1610.16, 1616.38, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1616.78, "end": 1624.703, "text": "From a let me take you on my train of thought or this is how I feel And if that works well and is smooth in a relationship, then we both begin to mature,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["From a let me take you on my train of thought or this is how I feel", 1616.78, 1619.26, 1.0], ["And if that works well and is smooth in a relationship, then we both begin to mature,", 1619.77, 1624.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1625.305, "end": 1631.343, "text": "Together now that doesn't mean that we have to have all the same thoughts and ideas and emotions and feelings and hopes and dreams,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Together now that doesn't mean that we have to have all the same thoughts and ideas and emotions and feelings and hopes and dreams,", 1625.31, 1631.34, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1631.967, "end": 1637.023, "text": "But we start to recognize that I am safe in my relationship and that it's okay for me to have a different opinion,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But we start to recognize that I am safe in my relationship and that it's okay for me to have a different opinion,", 1631.97, 1637.02, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1637.503, "end": 1642.823, "text": "and that is not gonna cost me the relationship because then we have this room to breathe", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and that is not gonna cost me the relationship", 1637.5, 1640.4, 1.0], ["because then we have this room to breathe", 1640.5, 1642.82, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1642.823, "end": 1646.363, "text": "in the relationship and we can actually start to look at things.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["in the relationship and we can actually start", 1642.82, 1645.34, 1.0], ["to look at things.", 1645.34, 1646.36, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1646.363, "end": 1649.183, "text": "We can say, well, I wonder why, yeah, why do I feel this way?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["We can say, well, I wonder why,", 1646.36, 1647.7, 1.0], ["yeah, why do I feel this way?", 1647.7, 1649.18, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1649.183, "end": 1652.393, "text": "And we can start to look at the things that we bring into the relationship.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And we can start to look at the things", 1649.18, 1651.18, 1.0], ["that we bring into the relationship.", 1651.18, 1652.39, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1653.023, "end": 1657.092, "text": "Julie Hall, who runs a website called The Narcissist Family Files,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Julie Hall, who runs a website", 1653.02, 1654.98, 1.0], ["called The Narcissist Family Files,", 1654.98, 1657.09, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1657.223, "end": 1662.503, "text": "she talks about what a good relationship looks like. And she said, securely attached humans,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["she talks about what a good relationship looks like.", 1657.22, 1660.62, 1.0], ["And she said, securely attached humans,", 1660.62, 1662.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1663.063, "end": 1664.852, "text": "approach relationships cooperatively.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["approach relationships cooperatively.", 1663.06, 1664.85, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1665.363, "end": 1670.272, "text": "They work together to achieve shared goals, seek and give empathetic validation,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["They work together to achieve shared goals,", 1665.36, 1667.53, 1.0], ["seek and give empathetic validation,", 1668.0, 1670.27, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1670.403, "end": 1672.441, "text": "share accurate and truthful information.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["share accurate and truthful information.", 1670.4, 1672.44, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1672.843, "end": 1676.654, "text": "And that means that we're gonna tell the truth. We're gonna give accurate information,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And that means that we're gonna tell the truth.", 1672.84, 1674.45, 1.0], ["We're gonna give accurate information,", 1674.64, 1676.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1676.803, "end": 1677.681, "text": "even if it's uncomfortable.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["even if it's uncomfortable.", 1676.8, 1677.68, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1678.363, "end": 1682.911, "text": "And she says, we express affection and vulnerability to build trust and intimacy in the relationship.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And she says, we express affection and vulnerability", 1678.36, 1680.85, 1.0], ["to build trust and intimacy in the relationship.", 1680.96, 1682.91, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1683.603, "end": 1687.754, "text": "Now, there might be conflict, and there will, there will be conflict, there will be disagreement,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Now, there might be conflict, and there will,", 1683.6, 1685.8, 1.0], ["there will be conflict, there will be disagreement,", 1685.8, 1687.75, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1688.363, "end": 1692.867, "text": "but mutual support is the foundation of the relationship and respect and love are not at stake.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but mutual support is the foundation of the relationship", 1688.36, 1691.16, 1.0], ["and respect and love are not at stake.", 1691.16, 1692.87, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1693.488, "end": 1697.383, "text": "And that's where I worry so often that when respect and love are at stake,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And that's where I worry so often", 1693.49, 1695.23, 1.0], ["that when respect and love are at stake,", 1695.34, 1697.38, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1697.383, "end": 1699.863, "text": "then we truly can't be our authentic selves.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then we truly can't be our authentic selves.", 1697.38, 1699.86, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1700.06, "end": 1705.003, "text": "And I go back to this article of this marriage marital endurance ethic", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I go back to this article", 1700.06, 1701.61, 1.0], ["of this marriage marital endurance ethic", 1702.04, 1705.0, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1705.003, "end": 1707.568, "text": "or personal happiness ethic or marital work ethic.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or personal happiness ethic or marital work ethic.", 1705.0, 1707.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1708.023, "end": 1712.943, "text": "And then we eventually just feel like if I cannot express myself, but I'm here,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then we eventually just feel like", 1708.02, 1709.92, 1.0], ["if I cannot express myself, but I'm here,", 1709.92, 1712.94, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1712.943, "end": 1715.949, "text": "I'm stuck and I'm in it for the long haul, then I'm gonna start to shut down.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm stuck and I'm in it for the long haul,", 1712.94, 1714.66, 1.0], ["then I'm gonna start to shut down.", 1714.66, 1715.95, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1716.223, "end": 1718.704, "text": "I'm gonna look to others to tell me what I'm supposed to do,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm gonna look to others to tell me", 1716.22, 1717.58, 1.0], ["what I'm supposed to do,", 1717.58, 1718.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1719.163, "end": 1723.196, "text": "not give me advice on what I'm trying to do here is here's a way to express yourself", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["not give me advice on what I'm trying to do here", 1719.16, 1721.9, 1.0], ["is here's a way to express yourself", 1721.9, 1723.2, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1723.303, "end": 1729.813, "text": "because you're the one going through your life for the first time and your goal is to self-confront", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["because you're the one going through your life", 1723.3, 1726.31, 1.0], ["for the first time and your goal is to self-confront", 1726.38, 1729.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1730.023, "end": 1734.523, "text": "and to become self-actualized and to learn to what is the discomfort that you sit with?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and to become self-actualized and to learn", 1730.02, 1732.62, 1.0], ["to what is the discomfort that you sit with?", 1732.62, 1734.52, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1734.523, "end": 1737.194, "text": "What does that mean to you? And what can you do about it?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["What does that mean to you?", 1734.52, 1735.74, 1.0], ["And what can you do about it?", 1735.74, 1737.19, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1737.743, "end": 1743.649, "text": "Not tell your spouse how they're supposed to think or feel or what they're supposed to do to manage your anxiety", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Not tell your spouse how they're supposed to think or feel", 1737.74, 1740.78, 1.0], ["or what they're supposed to do to manage your anxiety", 1740.78, 1743.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1743.763, "end": 1745.017, "text": "to manage your discomfort.", "confidence": 0.85, "timestamps": [["to manage your discomfort.", 1743.76, 1745.02, 0.8519785404205322]]}, {"start": 1745.954, "end": 1751.301, "text": "And so if we can start to have the, if we have the right tools and we realize it's okay", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And so if we can start to have the,", 1745.95, 1749.16, 1.0], ["if we have the right tools and we realize it's okay", 1749.16, 1751.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1751.704, "end": 1755.1, "text": "to have our own different opinions, then we're not looking at this endurance ethic,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to have our own different opinions,", 1751.7, 1752.8, 1.0], ["then we're not looking at this endurance ethic,", 1752.88, 1755.1, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1755.684, "end": 1758.881, "text": "or work ethic in a way to tolerate our marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or work ethic in a way to tolerate our marriage.", 1755.68, 1758.88, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1759.644, "end": 1763.697, "text": "And improve our happiness and build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And improve our happiness and build a good and happy life", 1759.64, 1762.34, 1.0], ["despite a mediocre marriage.", 1762.34, 1763.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1764.304, "end": 1767.757, "text": "Sorry, but as a marriage therapist that's worked with over 1500 couples now,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Sorry, but as a marriage therapist", 1764.3, 1765.88, 1.0], ["that's worked with over 1500 couples now,", 1766.22, 1767.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1767.944, "end": 1772.429, "text": "there is a model to find a connection in your relationship.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["there is a model to find a connection in your relationship.", 1767.94, 1772.43, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1772.764, "end": 1778.004, "text": "And I was interviewed on a podcast a little while ago and this was almost difficult for me to say out loud,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I was interviewed on a podcast a little while ago", 1772.76, 1775.16, 1.0], ["and this was almost difficult for me to say out loud,", 1775.16, 1778.0, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1778.254, "end": 1781.724, "text": "but I recognize the truth though, is that let's take these 1500 couples,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but I recognize the truth though,", 1778.25, 1779.68, 1.0], ["is that let's take these 1500 couples,", 1779.68, 1781.72, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1781.724, "end": 1784.366, "text": "and this is not an exact number of couples,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and this is not an exact number of couples,", 1781.72, 1784.37, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1784.744, "end": 1787.94, "text": "or the data I'm about to share, but I said in this interview,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or the data I'm about to share,", 1784.74, 1786.52, 1.0], ["but I said in this interview,", 1786.52, 1787.94, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1788.204, "end": 1792.279, "text": "I feel like the first 500 couples, maybe the first third of all the couples I worked with,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I feel like the first 500 couples,", 1788.2, 1790.18, 1.0], ["maybe the first third of all the couples I worked with,", 1790.18, 1792.28, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1792.484, "end": 1795.313, "text": "that I really didn't, of course, I didn't know what I didn't know,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that I really didn't, of course,", 1792.48, 1794.02, 1.0], ["I didn't know what I didn't know,", 1794.02, 1795.31, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1795.808, "end": 1801.964, "text": "and I probably just gave a lot more advice, and I really wanted people to leave my office,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I probably just gave a lot more advice,", 1795.81, 1798.36, 1.0], ["and I really wanted people to leave my office,", 1798.6, 1801.96, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1801.964, "end": 1809.364, "text": "and just, and honestly, I probably wanted them to leave the office and say that guy's a good therapist because I'm learning myself", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and just, and honestly,", 1801.96, 1804.0, 1.0], ["I probably wanted them to leave the office and say that guy's a good therapist because I'm learning myself", 1804.0, 1809.36, 0.9948806166648865]]}, {"start": 1809.364, "end": 1809.717, "text": "I", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["I", 1809.36, 1809.72, 0.9948806166648865]]}, {"start": 1810.284, "end": 1816.684, "text": "Don't think I realized at the time that I probably was looking for the external validation myself because I had changed careers after ten", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["Don't think I realized at the time that I probably was looking for the external validation myself because I had changed careers after ten", 1810.28, 1816.68, 0.9948806166648865]]}, {"start": 1816.684, "end": 1820.547, "text": "Years in the computer software industry and then I feel like oh my gosh I think I can help couples", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["Years in the computer software industry and then I feel like oh my gosh", 1816.68, 1819.4, 0.9948806166648865], ["I think I can help couples", 1819.4, 1820.55, 0.9948806166648865]]}, {"start": 1820.961, "end": 1824.044, "text": "Where that wasn't something that I initially thought that was gonna be a part of my practice", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["Where that wasn't something that I initially thought that was gonna be a part of my practice", 1820.96, 1824.04, 0.9948806166648865]]}, {"start": 1824.264, "end": 1830.044, "text": "Then I feel like the next 500 couples that then I started to have better tools to share with them", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["Then I feel like the next 500 couples that then I started to have better tools to share with them", 1824.26, 1830.04, 0.9948806166648865]]}, {"start": 1830.044, "end": 1833.087, "text": "but I didn't want to have that discomfort.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but I didn't want to have that discomfort.", 1830.04, 1833.09, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1833.304, "end": 1838.461, "text": "I wanted to happy-fi everything and I wanted every couple to leave my office", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I wanted to happy-fi everything", 1833.3, 1835.18, 1.0], ["and I wanted every couple to leave my office", 1835.62, 1838.46, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1838.824, "end": 1840.288, "text": "wrapped in a big old bow.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["wrapped in a big old bow.", 1838.82, 1840.29, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1840.864, "end": 1846.302, "text": "And I really believed that was a wonderful thing. And I still think it's a wonderful thing when you can.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I really believed that was a wonderful thing.", 1840.86, 1844.2, 1.0], ["And I still think it's a wonderful thing when you can.", 1844.2, 1846.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1846.984, "end": 1852.024, "text": "But I often worry now that that was about my own discomfort as a therapist, that I didn't wanna have to sit", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["But I often worry now that that was about my own discomfort", 1846.98, 1850.3, 1.0], ["as a therapist, that I didn't wanna have to sit", 1850.3, 1852.02, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1852.024, "end": 1855.313, "text": "with that discomfort of knowing that they may leave the office and not feel better.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["with that discomfort of knowing that they may leave", 1852.02, 1853.94, 1.0], ["the office and not feel better.", 1853.94, 1855.31, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1855.998, "end": 1861.804, "text": "And so then I feel like the last 500 couples or so that now with really solid tools,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so then I feel like the last 500 couples or so", 1856.0, 1858.91, 1.0], ["that now with really solid tools,", 1859.76, 1861.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1862.47, "end": 1866.424, "text": "that of helping people understand that you are absolutely okay and entitled", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that of helping people understand", 1862.47, 1864.12, 1.0], ["that you are absolutely okay and entitled", 1864.12, 1866.42, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1866.424, "end": 1868.628, "text": "to have your own thoughts and opinions and emotions.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to have your own thoughts and opinions and emotions.", 1866.42, 1868.63, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1869.224, "end": 1874.569, "text": "And as a matter of fact, what a wonderful thing to be able to explore your thoughts, your emotions.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And as a matter of fact, what a wonderful thing", 1869.22, 1871.78, 1.0], ["to be able to explore your thoughts, your emotions.", 1871.78, 1874.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1875.304, "end": 1876.595, "text": "In the things that you do.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["In the things that you do.", 1875.3, 1876.59, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1876.944, "end": 1880.544, "text": "And the safest or the best way to do it, I won't say it's the safest way,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And the safest or the best way to do it,", 1876.94, 1879.1, 1.0], ["I won't say it's the safest way,", 1879.3, 1880.54, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1880.544, "end": 1885.904, "text": "we have to get to that safety, but the best way to do that is in conjunction with another human being", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["we have to get to that safety,", 1880.54, 1881.7, 1.0], ["but the best way to do that", 1882.22, 1883.75, 1.0], ["is in conjunction with another human being", 1883.86, 1885.9, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1885.904, "end": 1890.503, "text": "because we are putting out this version of ourselves and we're saying, hey, this is who I think I am.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["because we are putting out this version of ourselves", 1885.9, 1888.06, 1.0], ["and we're saying, hey, this is who I think I am.", 1888.48, 1890.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1890.584, "end": 1891.89, "text": "So can you validate this?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So can you validate this?", 1890.58, 1891.89, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1892.349, "end": 1895.707, "text": "Because this is who I am. I'm a wonderful father, a super nice guy,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Because this is who I am.", 1892.35, 1893.26, 1.0], ["I'm a wonderful father, a super nice guy,", 1893.26, 1895.71, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1896.031, "end": 1899.172, "text": "and everything rolls off my back. Am I right? Right, hun?", "confidence": 0.96, "timestamps": [["and everything rolls off my back.", 1896.03, 1897.66, 1.0], ["Am I right?", 1897.86, 1898.53, 1.0], ["Right, hun?", 1898.7, 1899.17, 0.868493378162384]]}, {"start": 1899.875, "end": 1907.164, "text": "And if she's not experiencing that same version of me, then who better in a safe situation to be able", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if she's not experiencing that same version of me, then who better in a safe situation to be able", 1899.87, 1907.16, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1907.164, "end": 1912.204, "text": "for her to say, man, thanks for sharing that and tell me more and let me know what that means to", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["for her to say, man, thanks for sharing that and tell me more and let me know what that means to", 1907.16, 1912.2, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1912.204, "end": 1918.044, "text": "you. And I can share with you what I see. And now if I can be mature, then I can, and I'm", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["you. And I can share with you what I see. And now if I can be mature, then I can, and I'm", 1912.2, 1918.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1918.044, "end": 1923.644, "text": "differentiated where one person ends and the other begins, then I can look at the information that", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["differentiated where one person ends and the other begins, then I can look at the information that", 1918.04, 1923.64, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1923.644, "end": 1928.284, "text": "she's providing me with. And then I can take that, I can thank her for it. I can self-confront and I", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["she's providing me with. And then I can take that, I can thank her for it. I can self-confront and I", 1923.64, 1928.28, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1928.284, "end": 1930.824, "text": "and I can say, is there truth in what she's sharing?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I can say, is there truth in what she's sharing?", 1928.28, 1930.82, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1931.444, "end": 1937.819, "text": "What a joyous opportunity to sit with some of this discomfort and then to look introspectively and to say.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["What a joyous opportunity to sit", 1931.44, 1934.24, 1.0], ["with some of this discomfort", 1934.24, 1935.33, 1.0], ["and then to look introspectively and to say.", 1935.8, 1937.82, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1938.524, "end": 1942.626, "text": "Can I learn from this? Are there some things that will help me be a better person?", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Can I learn from this?", 1938.52, 1940.64, 1.0], ["Are there some things that will help me be a better person?", 1940.64, 1942.63, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1943.004, "end": 1946.578, "text": "But that doesn't mean that I always have to say, you're right, I'll do what you tell me to,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But that doesn't mean that I always have to say,", 1943.0, 1944.84, 1.0], ["you're right, I'll do what you tell me to,", 1944.84, 1946.58, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1947.004, "end": 1951.764, "text": "because I can also come from this place of what I call healthy ego, where I can say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["because I can also come from this place", 1947.0, 1949.0, 1.0], ["of what I call healthy ego, where I can say,", 1949.0, 1951.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1951.764, "end": 1953.708, "text": "okay, man, I really appreciate you sharing that,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["okay, man, I really appreciate you sharing that,", 1951.76, 1953.71, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1954.204, "end": 1960.564, "text": "but I really feel like, I feel like I have a different view of what's happening in this situation.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["but I really feel like,", 1954.2, 1956.08, 1.0], ["I feel like I have a different view", 1956.08, 1958.8, 1.0], ["of what's happening in this situation.", 1959.16, 1960.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1960.564, "end": 1964.511, "text": "Let me break down healthy ego, because I think this is a really important concept.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Let me break down healthy ego,", 1960.56, 1962.49, 1.0], ["because I think this is a really important concept.", 1962.64, 1964.51, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1964.884, "end": 1968.924, "text": "I refer to it often, and I think it, for those who don't know the backstory,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I refer to it often, and I think it,", 1964.88, 1966.8, 1.0], ["for those who don't know the backstory,", 1967.36, 1968.92, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1968.924, "end": 1970.452, "text": "it can probably sound arrogant.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["it can probably sound arrogant.", 1968.92, 1970.45, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1970.974, "end": 1973.924, "text": "And this comes from the world of emotional immaturity and narcissism.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And this comes from the world", 1970.97, 1972.32, 1.0], ["of emotional immaturity and narcissism.", 1972.32, 1973.92, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1973.924, "end": 1979.044, "text": "There's an author named Eleanor Greenberg, a PhD, and she has a brilliant article", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["There's an author named Eleanor Greenberg, a PhD,", 1973.92, 1976.52, 1.0], ["and she has a brilliant article", 1977.0, 1979.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1979.044, "end": 1981.255, "text": "called The Truth About Narcissistic Personality Disorder.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["called The Truth About Narcissistic Personality Disorder.", 1979.04, 1981.26, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1981.604, "end": 1985.432, "text": "But in that article, she talks about normal versus pathological narcissism.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But in that article,", 1981.6, 1982.52, 1.0], ["she talks about normal versus pathological narcissism.", 1982.52, 1985.43, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1986.064, "end": 1990.024, "text": "And she says, unfortunately, in the English language, the word narcissism has come to mean", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And she says, unfortunately, in the English language,", 1986.06, 1988.62, 1.0], ["the word narcissism has come to mean", 1988.62, 1990.02, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1990.024, "end": 1993.784, "text": "two entirely different things, depending on whether it's being used formerly as a diagnosis", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["two entirely different things,", 1990.02, 1991.18, 1.0], ["depending on whether it's being used formerly as a diagnosis", 1991.18, 1993.78, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1993.784, "end": 1995.461, "text": "as a narcissistic personality disorder,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["as a narcissistic personality disorder,", 1993.78, 1995.46, 1.0]]}, {"start": 1996.298, "end": 2002.266, "text": "or informally as a synonym for positive self-regard, which I say I own this part and to say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["or informally as a synonym for positive self-regard,", 1996.3, 1999.17, 1.0], ["which I say I own this part and to say,", 1999.56, 2002.27, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2002.344, "end": 2007.803, "text": "I don't know that it's used in that form ever at this point in the world.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I don't know that it's used in that form ever", 2002.34, 2005.56, 1.0], ["at this point in the world.", 2005.82, 2007.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2008.344, "end": 2010.864, "text": "She then said what I'm often asked as well, she said, I'm often asked,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["She then said what I'm often asked as well,", 2008.34, 2010.02, 1.0], ["she said, I'm often asked,", 2010.02, 2010.86, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2010.864, "end": 2012.61, "text": "and a little bit of narcissism healthy and normal.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and a little bit of narcissism healthy and normal.", 2010.86, 2012.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2013.044, "end": 2017.424, "text": "So she said, I wanna clarify that distinction. So she calls this normal healthy narcissism", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So she said, I wanna clarify that distinction.", 2013.04, 2014.86, 1.0], ["So she calls this normal healthy narcissism", 2015.23, 2017.42, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2017.424, "end": 2023.557, "text": "and I am telling her I love this definition and I am changing the word narcissism to ego and you'll see why.", "confidence": 0.95, "timestamps": [["and I am telling her I love this definition", 2017.42, 2019.96, 1.0], ["and I am changing the word narcissism to ego", 2019.96, 2022.76, 1.0], ["and you'll see why.", 2022.86, 2023.56, 0.8503431677818298]]}, {"start": 2024.646, "end": 2031.686, "text": "So if I say normal healthy ego, this is a realistic sense of positive self-regard that is based on a person's actual accomplishments.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["So if I say normal healthy ego, this is a realistic sense of positive self-regard that is based on a person's actual accomplishments.", 2024.65, 2031.69, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2032.145, "end": 2035.962, "text": "It's relatively stable because the person is assimilated into their self-image,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["It's relatively stable because the person is assimilated into their self-image,", 2032.14, 2035.96, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2036.412, "end": 2041.156, "text": "the successes that came as a result of their actual hard work to overcome real-life obstacles.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["the successes that came as a result of their actual hard work to overcome real-life obstacles.", 2036.41, 2041.16, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2041.777, "end": 2050.32, "text": "And because it's based on real achievements, normal healthy ego is relatively impervious to the minor slights and setbacks that we all experience as we go through life.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And because it's based on real achievements, normal healthy ego is relatively impervious to the minor slights and setbacks that we all experience as we go through life.", 2041.78, 2050.32, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2050.933, "end": 2058.324, "text": "Normal ego causes us to care about ourselves, do things that are in our real self-interest and is associated with genuine self-respect.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Normal ego causes us to care about ourselves, do things that are in our real self-interest and is associated with genuine self-respect.", 2050.93, 2058.32, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2058.927, "end": 2068.712, "text": "One can think of it as something that's inside of us. So when I talk about the healthy ego, I'm going through life as me, and if I am doing my own internal work,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["One can think of it as something that's inside of us.", 2058.93, 2061.33, 1.0], ["So when I talk about the healthy ego, I'm going through life as me, and if I am doing my own internal work,", 2061.9, 2068.71, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2068.955, "end": 2074.796, "text": "and I am not trying to have others make me feel better, or if when I feel uncomfortable,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I am not trying to have others make me feel better, or if when I feel uncomfortable,", 2068.96, 2074.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2074.796, "end": 2079.796, "text": "I'm not trying to get rid of that discomfort by projecting my anger or frustration onto someone else.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm not trying to get rid of that discomfort by projecting my anger or frustration onto someone else.", 2074.8, 2079.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2080.712, "end": 2085.796, "text": "If I'm really willing to then sit with that discomfort, self-confront, it's amazing because I want to grow.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["If I'm really willing to then sit with that discomfort, self-confront, it's amazing because I want to grow.", 2080.71, 2085.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2085.796, "end": 2091.796, "text": "So now, and I give this example often, but when I asked my wife a long time ago,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So now, and I give this example often, but when I asked my wife a long time ago,", 2085.8, 2091.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2091.796, "end": 2096.796, "text": "I don't know what it looks like when I come home or show up because I think I'm this world's greatest dad,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I don't know what it looks like when I come home or show up because I think I'm this world's greatest dad,", 2091.8, 2096.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2096.796, "end": 2101.796, "text": "and she says there can be two different versions of you that walk in the door, that hurts.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and she says there can be two different versions of you that walk in the door, that hurts.", 2096.8, 2101.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2102.282, "end": 2108.796, "text": "And that makes me uncomfortable. And one of the ways I could get rid of that discomfort is to be a victim and shut down and say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And that makes me uncomfortable.", 2102.28, 2103.8, 1.0], ["And one of the ways I could get rid of that discomfort is to be a victim and shut down and say,", 2103.8, 2108.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2108.796, "end": 2112.31, "text": "I wanna say, yeah, I know, I'm a horrible person.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I wanna say, yeah, I know, I'm a horrible person.", 2108.8, 2112.31, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2112.436, "end": 2117.018, "text": "You're right, I'm just, I don't know, I'm just a paycheck walking around and you just tell me what to do.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["You're right, I'm just, I don't know,", 2112.44, 2113.96, 1.0], ["I'm just a paycheck walking around", 2113.96, 2115.36, 1.0], ["and you just tell me what to do.", 2115.36, 2117.02, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2117.736, "end": 2122.06, "text": "And that would just not be a way to show up. Absolutely not a way to show up.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And that would just not be a way to show up.", 2117.74, 2120.4, 1.0], ["Absolutely not a way to show up.", 2120.82, 2122.06, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2122.876, "end": 2127.516, "text": "Another way is that I can then, I can gaslight. I can project, I can say, oh, okay,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Another way is that I can then, I can gaslight.", 2122.88, 2125.35, 1.0], ["I can project, I can say, oh, okay,", 2125.6, 2127.52, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2127.722, "end": 2129.036, "text": "well, you're not the same person either.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["well, you're not the same person either.", 2127.72, 2129.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2129.356, "end": 2135.356, "text": "I mean, I can respond that way, very emotionally immature. Or I can say, I want your feedback", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I mean, I can respond that way, very emotionally immature.", 2129.36, 2132.19, 1.0], ["Or I can say, I want your feedback", 2132.32, 2135.36, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2135.436, "end": 2139.749, "text": "because I care about you and you are my wife and you get to interact with me more than anybody.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["because I care about you and you are my wife", 2135.44, 2137.16, 1.0], ["and you get to interact with me more than anybody.", 2137.16, 2139.75, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2139.916, "end": 2144.727, "text": "So I'm gonna sit with that discomfort and then it turns out it's not gonna kill me,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So I'm gonna sit with that discomfort", 2139.92, 2142.24, 1.0], ["and then it turns out it's not gonna kill me,", 2142.68, 2144.73, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2145.356, "end": 2148.004, "text": "and then I can look inward and I can say, tell me more.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and then I can look inward and I can say, tell me more.", 2145.36, 2148.0, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2148.196, "end": 2150.796, "text": "I can turn to my own four pillars and assume good intentions", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I can turn to my own four pillars", 2148.2, 2149.74, 1.0], ["and assume good intentions", 2149.74, 2150.8, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2150.796, "end": 2153.225, "text": "that she's not trying to hurt me with that comment.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that she's not trying to hurt me with that comment.", 2150.8, 2153.23, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2153.396, "end": 2157.816, "text": "My second pillar, I can't say, that's ridiculous, you're wrong because guess what? It's her opinion.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["My second pillar, I can't say, that's ridiculous,", 2153.4, 2155.88, 1.0], ["you're wrong because guess what?", 2155.88, 2157.12, 1.0], ["It's her opinion.", 2157.12, 2157.82, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2158.436, "end": 2162.642, "text": "Pillar three, then I get to say, help me understand, help me see my blind spots, tell me more.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Pillar three, then I get to say, help me understand,", 2158.44, 2160.88, 1.0], ["help me see my blind spots, tell me more.", 2160.88, 2162.64, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2163.156, "end": 2168.956, "text": "And in that scenario, she laid out a very clear scenario of where there are times when I walk in", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And in that scenario, she laid out a very clear scenario", 2163.16, 2167.0, 1.0], ["of where there are times when I walk in", 2167.0, 2168.96, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2169.132, "end": 2173.636, "text": "and I am the funnest guy in the world and there are other times where I may have a short fuse", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I am the funnest guy in the world", 2169.13, 2170.96, 1.0], ["and there are other times where I may have a short fuse", 2170.96, 2173.64, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2173.636, "end": 2175.245, "text": "and I may seem like a victim,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I may seem like a victim,", 2173.64, 2175.25, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2175.636, "end": 2181.844, "text": "like a little kid walking around the house with a pity party in a little dark cloud of rain storms", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["like a little kid walking around the house", 2175.64, 2177.6, 1.0], ["with a pity party in a little dark cloud of rain storms", 2177.6, 2181.84, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2181.925, "end": 2184.778, "text": "following me along like Pigpen back from the Charlie Brown days.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["following me along like Pigpen", 2181.92, 2183.2, 1.0], ["back from the Charlie Brown days.", 2183.37, 2184.78, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2185.596, "end": 2189.276, "text": "And so when she shared that with me, I was able to sit and self-confront and say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so when she shared that with me,", 2185.6, 2187.36, 1.0], ["I was able to sit and self-confront and say,", 2187.36, 2189.28, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2189.276, "end": 2191.512, "text": "man, you know what, there is absolute truth in that.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["man, you know what, there is absolute truth in that.", 2189.28, 2191.51, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2192.256, "end": 2198.534, "text": "And I was able to identify that when I maybe have a bad day at work or, I don't know, pay bills or maybe it was...", "confidence": 0.98, "timestamps": [["And I was able to identify that when I maybe", 2192.26, 2194.84, 1.0], ["have a bad day at work or, I don't know, pay bills or maybe it was...", 2194.84, 2198.53, 0.9656835794448853]]}, {"start": 2199.632, "end": 2203.042, "text": "A couple of clients didn't show up that day or I'd had a particularly rough session,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["A couple of clients didn't show up that day", 2199.63, 2201.48, 1.0], ["or I'd had a particularly rough session,", 2201.48, 2203.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2203.042, "end": 2208.103, "text": "then I could find myself going home and not even realizing that I wasn't being present or positive.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then I could find myself going home", 2203.04, 2204.49, 1.0], ["and not even realizing that I wasn't being present", 2204.8, 2207.38, 1.0], ["or positive.", 2207.52, 2208.1, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2208.682, "end": 2212.762, "text": "And so I am so grateful for that information because now I can, on the way home,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And so I am so grateful for that information", 2208.68, 2211.01, 1.0], ["because now I can, on the way home,", 2211.2, 2212.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2212.762, "end": 2217.242, "text": "I can do a nice self-care routine and I can show up and I can square my shoulders", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I can do a nice self-care routine", 2212.76, 2214.28, 1.0], ["and I can show up and I can square my shoulders", 2214.72, 2217.24, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2217.242, "end": 2221.264, "text": "and I can take a deep breath and I can walk in and I am so grateful to be there.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I can take a deep breath and I can walk in", 2217.24, 2219.25, 1.0], ["and I am so grateful to be there.", 2219.64, 2221.26, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2221.442, "end": 2225.217, "text": "And then when you do that over time, then what it feels like to be you", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then when you do that over time,", 2221.44, 2223.02, 1.0], ["then what it feels like to be you", 2223.4, 2225.22, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2225.322, "end": 2227.302, "text": "based on the slow residue of lived experience", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["based on the slow residue of lived experience", 2225.32, 2227.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2227.302, "end": 2232.402, "text": "is that now I associate pulling up into the driveway as, oh, I'm so grateful to be here.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["is that now I associate pulling up into the driveway", 2227.3, 2230.68, 1.0], ["as, oh, I'm so grateful to be here.", 2230.93, 2232.4, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2232.402, "end": 2236.902, "text": "I'm grateful for my family, my wife, and man, I can't wait to just go in and be present.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm grateful for my family, my wife,", 2232.4, 2233.95, 1.0], ["and man, I can't wait to just go in and be present.", 2234.36, 2236.9, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2237.282, "end": 2238.792, "text": "And then that is the way I show up.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then that is the way I show up.", 2237.28, 2238.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2239.362, "end": 2243.266, "text": "So normal, healthy ego. So now if she lets us say that she says to me,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["So normal, healthy ego.", 2239.36, 2240.76, 1.0], ["So now if she lets us say that she says to me,", 2240.76, 2243.27, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2243.702, "end": 2246.462, "text": "yeah, I kind of feel like that happens again from time to time.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["yeah, I kind of feel like that happens again", 2243.7, 2245.64, 1.0], ["from time to time.", 2245.64, 2246.46, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2246.462, "end": 2249.937, "text": "And then if I may say, oh man, again, assuming good intentions, I can't say nah.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then if I may say, oh man, again,", 2246.46, 2248.28, 1.0], ["assuming good intentions, I can't say nah.", 2248.28, 2249.94, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2250.414, "end": 2253.322, "text": "And I say, hey, tell me more. Like, when have you seen that?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I say, hey, tell me more.", 2250.41, 2252.32, 1.0], ["Like, when have you seen that?", 2252.32, 2253.32, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2253.322, "end": 2256.094, "text": "And if she says, I don't know, I just kind of feel like that's still a thing,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if she says, I don't know,", 2253.32, 2254.52, 1.0], ["I just kind of feel like that's still a thing,", 2254.52, 2256.09, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2256.322, "end": 2261.469, "text": "then I know from a healthy ego standpoint that I absolutely used to show up that way.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["then I know from a healthy ego standpoint", 2256.32, 2259.24, 1.0], ["that I absolutely used to show up that way.", 2259.72, 2261.47, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2261.722, "end": 2264.647, "text": "And I'm the only version of me going through life as me.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I'm the only version of me going through life as me.", 2261.72, 2264.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2265.002, "end": 2270.876, "text": "And I'm the one that's done the work, the work, the internal work based on real life experience,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I'm the one that's done the work,", 2265.0, 2266.75, 1.0], ["the work, the internal work based on real life experience,", 2267.4, 2270.88, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2271.442, "end": 2276.205, "text": "to now I do know when I show up that way and when I don't and I can catch myself", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to now I do know when I show up that way", 2271.44, 2274.6, 1.0], ["and when I don't and I can catch myself", 2274.6, 2276.21, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2276.521, "end": 2278.627, "text": "and I'll take ownership and I'll take accountability.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I'll take ownership and I'll take accountability.", 2276.52, 2278.63, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2278.888, "end": 2282.003, "text": "And so that is that normal healthy ego. It's based on real achievements.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so that is that normal healthy ego.", 2278.89, 2280.72, 1.0], ["It's based on real achievements.", 2280.72, 2282.0, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2282.442, "end": 2285.703, "text": "It's impervious to the slights and setbacks we experience as we go through life.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["It's impervious to the slights and setbacks", 2282.44, 2284.4, 1.0], ["we experience as we go through life.", 2284.4, 2285.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2286.099, "end": 2289.082, "text": "And it causes us to care about ourselves, do things in our own self-interest", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And it causes us to care about ourselves,", 2286.1, 2287.72, 1.0], ["do things in our own self-interest", 2287.72, 2289.08, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2289.082, "end": 2292.242, "text": "and is associated with genuine self-respect is something that's inside of us.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and is associated with genuine self-respect", 2289.08, 2290.73, 1.0], ["is something that's inside of us.", 2291.12, 2292.24, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2292.242, "end": 2297.298, "text": "So a healthy ego, I can say, man, I appreciate that. And I feel like coming from a place of healthy ego,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So a healthy ego, I can say, man, I appreciate that.", 2292.24, 2294.98, 1.0], ["And I feel like coming from a place of healthy ego,", 2294.98, 2297.3, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2297.482, "end": 2304.022, "text": "I feel like that I haven't been that way in a long time, but I am so open to you pointing that out.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I feel like that I haven't been that way in a long time,", 2297.48, 2301.01, 1.0], ["but I am so open to you pointing that out.", 2301.84, 2304.02, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2304.022, "end": 2308.091, "text": "So if you do see an example of that in a moment, then please point that out.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So if you do see an example of that in a moment,", 2304.02, 2306.89, 1.0], ["then please point that out.", 2306.96, 2308.09, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2308.202, "end": 2314.762, "text": "And I promise you that I will take that information in and I will sit with the discomfort", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I promise you that I will take that information in", 2308.2, 2312.76, 1.0], ["and I will sit with the discomfort", 2312.92, 2314.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2314.762, "end": 2319.569, "text": "and I will take ownership and accountability if I'm not showing up the way that I believe I am.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and I will take ownership and accountability", 2314.76, 2316.88, 1.0], ["if I'm not showing up the way that I believe I am.", 2316.88, 2319.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2320.642, "end": 2324.962, "text": "Because over time, now let me read what pathological defensive narcissism is.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Because over time, now let me read", 2320.64, 2322.84, 1.0], ["what pathological defensive narcissism is.", 2322.84, 2324.96, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2324.962, "end": 2326.447, "text": "This is the opposite of healthy ego.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["This is the opposite of healthy ego.", 2324.96, 2326.45, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2326.642, "end": 2329.58, "text": "Eleanor Greenberg said, this is a defense against feelings of inferiority.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Eleanor Greenberg said,", 2326.64, 2327.48, 1.0], ["this is a defense against feelings of inferiority.", 2327.48, 2329.58, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2330.142, "end": 2334.002, "text": "So the person dons a mask of arrogant superiority in an attempt to convince the world", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So the person dons a mask of arrogant superiority", 2330.14, 2332.56, 1.0], ["in an attempt to convince the world", 2332.56, 2334.0, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2334.002, "end": 2334.891, "text": "that he or she is special.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that he or she is special.", 2334.0, 2334.89, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2335.402, "end": 2338.726, "text": "But inside the person feels very insecure about his or her actual self-worth.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But inside the person feels very insecure", 2335.4, 2337.29, 1.0], ["about his or her actual self-worth.", 2337.4, 2338.73, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2339.212, "end": 2342.795, "text": "And this facade of superiority is so thin that it's like a helium balloon.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And this facade of superiority is so thin", 2339.21, 2341.48, 1.0], ["that it's like a helium balloon.", 2341.64, 2342.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2343.164, "end": 2344.947, "text": "And one small pinprick will deflate it.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And one small pinprick will deflate it.", 2343.16, 2344.95, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2345.502, "end": 2350.924, "text": "So this makes the person hypersensitive to minor slights that somebody with healthy ego wouldn't even notice.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So this makes the person hypersensitive to minor slights", 2345.5, 2348.08, 1.0], ["that somebody with healthy ego wouldn't even notice.", 2348.08, 2350.92, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2351.402, "end": 2357.042, "text": "Instead, somebody with this type of defensive narcissism is easily wounded, frequently takes any form of disagreement", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Instead, somebody with this type of defensive narcissism", 2351.4, 2353.99, 1.0], ["is easily wounded, frequently takes any form of disagreement", 2354.44, 2357.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2357.042, "end": 2362.276, "text": "as a serious criticism and is likely to lash out and devalue anybody who they think is disagreeing with them.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["as a serious criticism and is likely to lash out", 2357.04, 2359.72, 1.0], ["and devalue anybody who they think is disagreeing with them.", 2359.72, 2362.28, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2362.782, "end": 2367.642, "text": "They're constantly on guard trying to protect their status and it can be thought of as a protective armor", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["They're constantly on guard trying to protect their status", 2362.78, 2365.15, 1.0], ["and it can be thought of as a protective armor", 2365.56, 2367.64, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2367.642, "end": 2368.875, "text": "that's on the outside of someone.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["that's on the outside of someone.", 2367.64, 2368.87, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2369.562, "end": 2371.927, "text": "The reason I bring these things up right now.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["The reason I bring these things up right now.", 2369.56, 2371.93, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2372.845, "end": 2379.215, "text": "It's because I feel like this whole article is talking about almost this marital apathy of just settling in and then over time", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["It's because I feel like this whole article is talking about almost this marital apathy of just settling in and then over time", 2372.84, 2379.21, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2379.215, "end": 2382.535, "text": "What it feels like to be you is you're gonna get through it and tolerate it", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["What it feels like to be you is you're gonna get through it and tolerate it", 2379.21, 2382.53, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2382.535, "end": 2388.535, "text": "And so yeah, it's you bet it's better because I don't feel like I don't feel like running into traffic anymore.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so yeah, it's you bet it's better because I don't feel like I don't feel like running into traffic anymore.", 2382.53, 2388.53, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2389.265, "end": 2397.673, "text": "But I am now seeking other people to tell me that I'm okay I'm deciding to find joy outside of my relationship and calling that good and,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["But I am now seeking other people to tell me that I'm okay", 2389.26, 2392.13, 1.0], ["I'm deciding to find joy outside of my relationship and calling that good and,", 2392.78, 2397.67, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2398.33, "end": 2404.555, "text": "And I just don't feel like that, that is not necessary when the tools are out there to improve your marriage", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And I just don't feel like that, that is not necessary", 2398.33, 2401.75, 1.0], ["when the tools are out there to improve your marriage", 2401.75, 2404.55, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2404.555, "end": 2406.27, "text": "and you show up different in a marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and you show up different in a marriage.", 2404.55, 2406.27, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2406.355, "end": 2413.589, "text": "And this survey, the study, I feel like then goes against what a marriage can be, which is this opportunity", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And this survey, the study, I feel like then goes against", 2406.35, 2410.74, 1.0], ["what a marriage can be, which is this opportunity", 2410.83, 2413.59, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2413.955, "end": 2418.036, "text": "to grow emotionally mature, thanks to your partner.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to grow emotionally mature, thanks to your partner.", 2413.95, 2418.04, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2418.515, "end": 2422.762, "text": "And there is none of, I feel like there would be none of that happening if we are just settling in,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And there is none of, I feel like there would be none", 2418.51, 2420.71, 1.0], ["of that happening if we are just settling in,", 2420.71, 2422.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2423.315, "end": 2425.103, "text": "for the long haul, the slog.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["for the long haul, the slog.", 2423.31, 2425.1, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2425.275, "end": 2427.965, "text": "If we're looking outside of our relationship for fun things.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["If we're looking outside of our relationship", 2425.27, 2426.95, 1.0], ["for fun things.", 2426.95, 2427.97, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2428.475, "end": 2431.701, "text": "And if we just feel like, okay, we can go on a couple of dates", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if we just feel like, okay,", 2428.47, 2430.35, 1.0], ["we can go on a couple of dates", 2430.35, 2431.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2432.124, "end": 2434.915, "text": "and then we can go meet with our bishop every now and again", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and then we can go meet with our bishop every now and again", 2432.12, 2434.91, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2434.915, "end": 2436.221, "text": "and he can tell me what we're doing wrong.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and he can tell me what we're doing wrong.", 2434.91, 2436.22, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2436.715, "end": 2441.586, "text": "And then we just settle in and we just eventually what it feels like to be us is apathetic.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then we just settle in and we just eventually", 2436.71, 2439.71, 1.0], ["what it feels like to be us is apathetic.", 2439.83, 2441.59, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2442.295, "end": 2445.775, "text": "And then we just start to create even we confabulate our own narrative that,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And then we just start to create even", 2442.29, 2444.23, 1.0], ["we confabulate our own narrative that,", 2444.43, 2445.77, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2445.775, "end": 2448.437, "text": "well, this is what marriage is. And this is the way it's supposed to be.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["well, this is what marriage is.", 2445.77, 2447.0, 1.0], ["And this is the way it's supposed to be.", 2447.23, 2448.44, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2448.975, "end": 2451.84, "text": "Maybe nobody's happy. Maybe nobody really feels fulfilled.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Maybe nobody's happy.", 2448.97, 2449.92, 1.0], ["Maybe nobody really feels fulfilled.", 2450.03, 2451.84, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2452.461, "end": 2457.61, "text": "And when I go back to this example of the 500 couples, 500 couples, and the third round of 500 couples,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And when I go back to this example of the 500 couples,", 2452.46, 2455.15, 1.0], ["500 couples, and the third round of 500 couples,", 2455.15, 2457.61, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2457.715, "end": 2464.047, "text": "is that I feel like as I'm helping people find the right tools in marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["is that I feel like as I'm helping people", 2457.71, 2461.55, 1.0], ["find the right tools in marriage.", 2461.55, 2464.05, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2464.992, "end": 2468.035, "text": "That the reality is there are divorces.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["That the reality is there are divorces.", 2464.99, 2468.03, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2468.035, "end": 2469.727, "text": "The divorce rate is over 50%.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["The divorce rate is over 50%.", 2468.03, 2469.73, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2470.475, "end": 2475.011, "text": "And so I feel like I have gone from people that just finally feel like they don't even know what to do,", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And so I feel like I have gone from people", 2470.47, 2472.79, 1.0], ["that just finally feel like they don't even know what to do,", 2472.79, 2475.01, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2475.395, "end": 2478.115, "text": "so they're gonna get a divorce, to people that start to say,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["so they're gonna get a divorce,", 2475.39, 2476.48, 1.0], ["to people that start to say,", 2477.07, 2478.11, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2478.115, "end": 2483.402, "text": "okay, I deserve more, and I deserve to be happy, and this is coming from a place of healthy ego.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["okay, I deserve more, and I deserve to be happy,", 2478.11, 2481.47, 1.0], ["and this is coming from a place of healthy ego.", 2481.47, 2483.4, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2483.875, "end": 2487.56, "text": "I'm working on myself. I want to go to counseling. I wanna go to couples therapy.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm working on myself.", 2483.87, 2485.15, 1.0], ["I want to go to counseling.", 2485.15, 2486.37, 1.0], ["I wanna go to couples therapy.", 2486.37, 2487.56, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2487.995, "end": 2491.756, "text": "I wanna explore what makes me tick. I'm willing to sit with discomfort.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I wanna explore what makes me tick.", 2487.99, 2490.39, 1.0], ["I'm willing to sit with discomfort.", 2490.39, 2491.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2492.315, "end": 2496.599, "text": "I'm willing to look inward and say, what can I learn from these situations?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm willing to look inward and say,", 2492.31, 2494.55, 1.0], ["what can I learn from these situations?", 2494.55, 2496.6, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2497.235, "end": 2501.875, "text": "Because I cannot control another human being. I can have love or I can have control", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Because I cannot control another human being.", 2497.23, 2499.83, 1.0], ["I can have love or I can have control", 2500.07, 2501.87, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2501.875, "end": 2505.817, "text": "in my adult relationship, not both, not both.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["in my adult relationship, not both, not both.", 2501.87, 2505.82, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2505.955, "end": 2510.875, "text": "And so if I have love, then I have love. And that comes with compassion and empathy", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so if I have love, then I have love.", 2505.95, 2508.51, 1.0], ["And that comes with compassion and empathy", 2508.51, 2510.87, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2510.875, "end": 2512.65, "text": "and care and concern.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and care and concern.", 2510.87, 2512.65, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2512.795, "end": 2519.835, "text": "And so what can feel like the exact opposite thing to do in your relationship is instead of trying to tell", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And so what can feel like the exact opposite thing to do", 2512.79, 2517.79, 1.0], ["in your relationship is instead of trying to tell", 2517.99, 2519.83, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2519.835, "end": 2526.153, "text": "your partner how they're supposed to act, feel, or think, is that you recognize this is your opportunity", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["your partner how they're supposed to act, feel, or think,", 2519.83, 2522.68, 1.0], ["is that you recognize this is your opportunity", 2522.75, 2526.15, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2526.455, "end": 2532.698, "text": "to sit with discomfort and not try to get rid of your own anxiety or your own discomfort", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to sit with discomfort and not try to get rid", 2526.45, 2529.43, 1.0], ["of your own anxiety or your own discomfort", 2529.43, 2532.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2532.875, "end": 2534.39, "text": "by controlling another person.", "confidence": 0.82, "timestamps": [["by controlling another person.", 2532.87, 2534.39, 0.815980076789856]]}, {"start": 2535.039, "end": 2540.889, "text": "Not by looking to them for external validation to make you feel better because you don't feel good about yourself.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Not by looking to them for external validation to make you feel better because you don't feel good about yourself.", 2535.04, 2540.89, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2541.52, "end": 2545.832, "text": "No, we need to be in a relationship so we can have this dyadic collaborative union", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["No, we need to be in a relationship so we can have this dyadic collaborative union", 2541.52, 2545.83, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2546.246, "end": 2548.889, "text": "where we're two people going through life for the very first time together,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["where we're two people going through life for the very first time together,", 2546.25, 2548.89, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2548.889, "end": 2551.889, "text": "going through situations that of course we're going to have different opinions on.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["going through situations that of course we're going to have different opinions on.", 2548.89, 2551.89, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2552.512, "end": 2558.327, "text": "And we feel this safe person that we can say, Hey, what are your thoughts about this, about parenting?", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And we feel this safe person that we can say,", 2552.51, 2555.89, 1.0], ["Hey, what are your thoughts about this, about parenting?", 2555.89, 2558.33, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2558.889, "end": 2563.889, "text": "What do you think we should do? And if the person says, man, this is where I come from, or this is, I don't know,", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["What do you think we should do?", 2558.89, 2559.89, 1.0], ["And if the person says, man, this is where I come from, or this is, I don't know,", 2560.07, 2563.89, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2563.889, "end": 2568.446, "text": "dealt with this as in my childhood. My parents did this horribly. But what do you think?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["dealt with this as in my childhood. My parents did this horribly. But what do you think?", 2563.89, 2568.45, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2568.769, "end": 2571.789, "text": "And if the other person says, okay, I, boy, I appreciate that. I feel like my parents", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if the other person says, okay, I, boy, I appreciate that. I feel like my parents", 2568.77, 2571.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2571.789, "end": 2574.702, "text": "handled it a little differently. And I do feel like there was some success there because", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["handled it a little differently. And I do feel like there was some success there because", 2571.79, 2574.7, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2574.909, "end": 2580.569, "text": "now we are having an experience, a collaborative experience, and we are two people sharing", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["now we are having an experience, a collaborative experience, and we are two people sharing", 2574.91, 2580.57, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2580.569, "end": 2584.729, "text": "our experiences, not trying to tell the other person your experience is wrong because if", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["our experiences, not trying to tell the other person your experience is wrong because if", 2580.57, 2584.73, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2584.729, "end": 2588.449, "text": "you had a different experience than I had, then that means you think that yours is right", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["you had a different experience than I had, then that means you think that yours is right", 2584.73, 2588.45, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2588.449, "end": 2593.449, "text": "and mine is wrong. It is not about right and wrong at this point. It's about, let's be", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and mine is wrong. It is not about right and wrong at this point. It's about, let's be", 2588.45, 2593.45, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2593.449, "end": 2598.209, "text": "heard, let's be understood, let's create this relationship that is in for the", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["heard, let's be understood, let's create this relationship that is in for the", 2593.45, 2598.21, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2598.209, "end": 2602.466, "text": "long haul and not in for the long haul, like settle in, it's going to suck, but", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["long haul and not in for the long haul, like settle in, it's going to suck, but", 2598.21, 2602.47, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2602.729, "end": 2604.809, "text": "more like we're in it for the long haul.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["more like we're in it for the long haul.", 2602.73, 2604.81, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2604.829, "end": 2607.192, "text": "So our goal is to be heard and to be understood.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So our goal is to be heard and to be understood.", 2604.83, 2607.19, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2607.696, "end": 2611.929, "text": "Not that we have to resolve everything in every conversation, because if that's", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Not that we have to resolve everything in every conversation, because if that's", 2607.7, 2611.93, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2611.929, "end": 2615.129, "text": "the case, I guarantee you, you're going to eventually find yourself.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["the case, I guarantee you, you're going to eventually find yourself.", 2611.93, 2615.13, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2615.129, "end": 2619.426, "text": "If you're the person that feels like, no, we do, we always resolve things.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["If you're the person that feels like, no, we do, we always resolve things.", 2615.13, 2619.43, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2619.804, "end": 2629.489, "text": "It's because you resolve things. And it's because you're with a partner that most likely says, yeah, sounds good to me, because they already have just acquiesced and believe that it really doesn't matter.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["It's because you resolve things.", 2619.8, 2621.31, 1.0], ["And it's because you're with a partner that most likely says, yeah, sounds good to me, because they already have just acquiesced and believe that it really doesn't matter.", 2621.42, 2629.49, 0.9923631548881531]]}, {"start": 2629.809, "end": 2632.191, "text": "Why am I even trying to be heard or understood?", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["Why am I even trying to be heard or understood?", 2629.81, 2632.19, 0.9923631548881531]]}, {"start": 2632.929, "end": 2638.187, "text": "And so that can be really difficult. If you're that person that feels like it really doesn't matter, it's fine.", "confidence": 0.99, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And so that can be really difficult.", 2632.93, 2634.25, 0.9923631548881531], ["If you're that person that feels like it really doesn't matter, it's fine.", 2634.29, 2638.19, 0.9923631548881531]]}, {"start": 2638.369, "end": 2640.662, "text": "I just go along with what he says or what she says.", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["I just go along with what he says or what she says.", 2638.37, 2640.66, 0.9923631548881531]]}, {"start": 2641.229, "end": 2648.728, "text": "Then there's a better way to live in your relationship. And it's not about just settle in, buckle up, and this thing's going to suck.", "confidence": 0.99, "timestamps": [["Then there's a better way to live in your relationship.", 2641.23, 2644.93, 0.9923631548881531], ["And it's not about just settle in, buckle up, and this thing's going to suck.", 2644.97, 2648.73, 0.9923631548881531]]}, {"start": 2649.493, "end": 2652.183, "text": "And if you're the person that feels like everything's great, right, hon?", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if you're the person that feels like everything's great, right, hon?", 2649.49, 2652.18, 0.9957323670387268]]}, {"start": 2649.493, "end": 2648.773, "text": "Thank you.", "confidence": 0.57, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Thank you.", 2649.49, 2648.77, 0.5723778009414673]]}, {"start": 2652.86, "end": 2665.383, "text": "And but you're not, you know, you feel like, huh, I don't even know if I really know much about what my my spouse's opinion is, because I'm sure good at telling her what I think her opinion is or what she doesn't even realize her opinion is.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And but you're not, you know, you feel like, huh, I don't even know if I really know much about what my my spouse's opinion is, because I'm sure good at telling her what I think her opinion is or what she doesn't even realize her opinion is.", 2652.86, 2665.38, 0.9957323670387268]]}, {"start": 2665.923, "end": 2672.303, "text": "Then it is time for a little little self-confrontation, my friend, and prepare for some discomfort.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Then it is time for a little little self-confrontation, my friend, and prepare for some discomfort.", 2665.92, 2672.3, 0.9957323670387268]]}, {"start": 2672.764, "end": 2675.503, "text": "But know that you will live. You will survive.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But know that you will live.", 2672.76, 2674.58, 0.9957323670387268], ["You will survive.", 2674.58, 2675.5, 0.9957323670387268]]}, {"start": 2675.708, "end": 2685.503, "text": "Now, this entire podcast was not meant to sell you on the marriage summit, sex summit thing, because I go into some details in there and some foundational principles.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Now, this entire podcast was not meant to sell you on the marriage summit, sex summit thing, because I go into some details in there and some foundational principles.", 2675.71, 2685.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2685.503, "end": 2690.503, "text": "I take you back from the womb and talk about abandonment and attachment and lay out some four pillars.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I take you back from the womb and talk about abandonment and attachment and lay out some four pillars.", 2685.5, 2690.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2691.453, "end": 2695.503, "text": "But there are resources. I am about to relaunch my marriage course.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["But there are resources. I am about to relaunch my marriage course.", 2691.45, 2695.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2695.503, "end": 2701.383, "text": "I have a $19 mini workshop on things you don't know that you don't know.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I have a $19 mini workshop on things you don't know that you don't know.", 2695.5, 2701.38, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2701.527, "end": 2712.338, "text": "And you can go find that. Email me and let me know if you want to be one of the first to find out about my Magnetic Marriage Workshop, our course that I'm re-releasing and it's got all new material.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And you can go find that. Email me and let me know if you want to be one of the first to find out about my Magnetic Marriage Workshop, our course that I'm re-releasing and it's got all new material.", 2701.53, 2712.34, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2712.77, "end": 2720.503, "text": "Or go, if you don't want to spend any money, go Google my name and Four Pillars and find all the Four Pillar podcasts.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Or go, if you don't want to spend any money, go Google my name and Four Pillars and find all the Four Pillar podcasts.", 2712.77, 2720.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2720.503, "end": 2730.289, "text": "But there are real tools that are out there that can help and improve your marriage. And you do not have to just settle in and just deal with it.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But there are real tools that are out there that can help and improve your marriage. And you do not have to just settle in and just deal with it.", 2720.5, 2730.29, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2730.73, "end": 2736.503, "text": "Marital endurance. I mean, I'm an endurance runner. I've ran a dozen races of 100 miles or more.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Marital endurance. I mean, I'm an endurance runner. I've ran a dozen races of 100 miles or more.", 2730.73, 2736.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2737.04, "end": 2743.503, "text": "I'm a fan of endurance, but I really enjoy the kind of endurance where you get to eat M&Ms at the aid stations", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I'm a fan of endurance, but I really enjoy the kind of endurance where you get to eat M&Ms at the aid stations", 2737.04, 2743.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2743.503, "end": 2748.761, "text": "and you spend some amazing time out on the trails with your friends and your spouse.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["and you spend some amazing time out on the trails with your friends and your spouse.", 2743.5, 2748.76, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2749.503, "end": 2753.503, "text": "And then when you finish, they give you a real cool belt buckle and a jacket.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["And then when you finish, they give you a real cool belt buckle and a jacket.", 2749.5, 2753.5, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2753.503, "end": 2759.168, "text": "Not the kind of endurance where, well, suck it up and this is what, I guess this is as good as it gets.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Not the kind of endurance where, well, suck it up and this is what, I guess this is as good as it gets.", 2753.5, 2759.17, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2759.744, "end": 2765.354, "text": "Because it can be so much better. So if you have specific questions, I might as well throw this", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Because it can be so much better. So if you have specific questions, I might as well throw this", 2759.74, 2765.35, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2765.354, "end": 2769.194, "text": "out there too. I love doing podcasts. I've got the Waking Up to Narcissism, the Waking Up to", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["out there too. I love doing podcasts. I've got the Waking Up to Narcissism, the Waking Up to", 2765.35, 2769.19, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2769.194, "end": 2775.114, "text": "Narcissism Premium Q&A, the Virtual Couch, Murder on the Couch. I've got one coming out about getting", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Narcissism Premium Q&A, the Virtual Couch, Murder on the Couch. I've got one coming out about getting", 2769.19, 2775.11, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2775.114, "end": 2779.171, "text": "rid of pornography addiction or turning to pornography as an unhealthy coping mechanism.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["rid of pornography addiction or turning to pornography as an unhealthy coping mechanism.", 2775.11, 2779.17, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2779.495, "end": 2784.154, "text": "But I really want to do one at some point where I want you to send in, you can write as much as you", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["But I really want to do one at some point where I want you to send in, you can write as much as you", 2779.5, 2784.15, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2784.154, "end": 2789.034, "text": "want and tell me about your marital question or your marital problem. And I want to do a podcast", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["want and tell me about your marital question or your marital problem. And I want to do a podcast", 2784.15, 2789.03, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2789.034, "end": 2806.034, "text": "where I take a problem or two, and I'm gonna break it down in every way I can, and just based off the data given to me, make the assumptions of how the two people are showing up in the relationship, probably what their backgrounds are, and then talk about what a real healthy relationship or connection would look like.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["where I take a problem or two, and I'm gonna break it down in every way I can, and just based off the data given to me, make the assumptions of how the two people are showing up in the relationship, probably what their backgrounds are, and then talk about what a real healthy relationship or connection would look like.", 2789.03, 2806.03, 0.9994974732398987]]}, {"start": 2806.034, "end": 2811.034, "text": "So please send those stories in too, to contact at TonyOverbay.com, and we'll get those addressed at some point.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So please send those stories in too, to contact at TonyOverbay.com, and we'll get those addressed at some point.", 2806.03, 2811.03, 0.9994974732398987]]}, {"start": 2811.156, "end": 2815.474, "text": "Hey, thank you for listening to the Virtual Couch, if I hope you can tell this is something", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["Hey, thank you for listening to the Virtual Couch, if I hope you can tell this is something", 2811.16, 2815.47, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2815.474, "end": 2821.154, "text": "I just feel so passionate about and I and marriages can be better and you do not have", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["I just feel so passionate about and I and marriages can be better and you do not have", 2815.47, 2821.15, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2821.154, "end": 2823.849, "text": "to suffer in silence in your marriage.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["to suffer in silence in your marriage.", 2821.15, 2823.85, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2824.114, "end": 2828.834, "text": "If you are in an unhealthy, if you're in an emotionally, financially abusive, spiritually", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["If you are in an unhealthy, if you're in an emotionally, financially abusive, spiritually", 2824.11, 2828.83, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2828.834, "end": 2834.674, "text": "abusive, physically abusive, sexually abusive, sexually coercive relationship, then you don't", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["abusive, physically abusive, sexually abusive, sexually coercive relationship, then you don't", 2828.83, 2834.67, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2834.949, "end": 2835.678, "text": "have to stay in that.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["have to stay in that.", 2834.95, 2835.68, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2836.137, "end": 2838.794, "text": "And part of the change happens in your brain.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And part of the change happens in your brain.", 2836.14, 2838.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2839.405, "end": 2847.794, "text": "You can just start to think and dream and listen and read and start to just understand that you don't deserve to be controlled.", "confidence": 1.0, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["You can just start to think and dream and listen and read and start to just understand that you don't deserve to be controlled.", 2839.41, 2847.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2847.794, "end": 2850.794, "text": "And it is absolutely okay for you to have your own thoughts and opinions.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And it is absolutely okay for you to have your own thoughts and opinions.", 2847.79, 2850.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2850.794, "end": 2857.794, "text": "And if you are in a relationship where that isn't a thing, then I would just love to bring some gentle awareness that that is not the way a relationship is supposed to be.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["And if you are in a relationship where that isn't a thing, then I would just love to bring some gentle awareness that that is not the way a relationship is supposed to be.", 2850.79, 2857.79, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2857.794, "end": 2865.53, "text": "So reach out with questions or give me those stories of what's going on in your marriage and maybe I can address those in a future podcast.", "confidence": 1.0, "timestamps": [["So reach out with questions or give me those stories of what's going on in your marriage and maybe I can address those in a future podcast.", 2857.79, 2865.53, 1.0]]}, {"start": 2865.998, "end": 2871.552, "text": "And I will see you next time. And taking us out per usual, the wonderful, the talented Aurora Florence with her song It's Wonderful.", "confidence": 0.98, "timestamps": [["And I will see you next time.", 2866.0, 2867.57, 0.9783176183700562], ["And taking us out per usual, the wonderful, the talented Aurora Florence with her song It's Wonderful.", 2867.8, 2871.55, 0.9783176183700562]]}, {"start": 2872.093, "end": 2874.794, "text": "Because marriage can be wonderful if you have the right tools.", "confidence": 0.98, "timestamps": [["Because marriage can be wonderful if you have the right tools.", 2872.09, 2874.79, 0.9783176183700562]]}, {"start": 2875.441, "end": 2878.655, "text": "And you get through the parts that you don't even know that you don't know.", "confidence": 0.98, "timestamps": [["And you get through the parts that you don't even know that you don't know.", 2875.44, 2878.66, 0.9783176183700562]]}, {"start": 2879.339, "end": 2881.482, "text": "But Aurora Florence is taking us out with her song, It's Wonderful.", "confidence": 0.87, "timestamps": [["But Aurora Florence is taking us out with her song, It's Wonderful.", 2879.34, 2881.48, 0.8689199090003967]]}, {"start": 2881.52, "end": 3010.16, "text": "Music.", "newpara": true}, {"start": 3010.001, "end": 3017.361, "text": "Distance don't explode allow the understanding through to heal the legs and hearts you break.", "confidence": 0.87, "newpara": true, "timestamps": [["Distance don't explode allow the understanding through to heal the legs and hearts you break.", 3010.66, 3017.16, 0.8682250380516052]]}]