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Natty Bumpercar: I'm so strange,
so strange. So strange

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yesterday, I kind of died a
little bit, which is I know a

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strange way to start a podcast,
especially the bumper podcast,

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by the way. Hello, everyone.
This is Natty Bumpercar. And

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this is the bumper podcast, your
weekly jump into fun, Ray. And

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so let's start it off with with
that yesterday. Well, first of

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all, so I don't know where
anyone is here at the bumper

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podcast. I haven't seen pig. I
haven't seen Rufus. I haven't

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seen producer and doodle poodle,
anybody for weeks. And I come

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in, and I just kind of click on
record and it seems to be

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working. I mean, the thing is,
Do I even need producer? I don't

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know, I honestly don't know. But
that is not the question for

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today. To question for today is
what in the world happened

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yesterday? What in the world?
Well, I got up. And I took one

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of the kids to school. And then
I came home back to headquarters

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here. And I had a little sip of
water because water is good for

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you in the morning. And then the
one of the other one of the kids

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had left, like a little glass of
orange juice on the table, and

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not very much at all. But I was
like, oh, I'll just finish that.

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Because as a parent, I'm a
vulture, and I just go and I

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finish off whatever the food is,
it's left around. And then I

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went upstairs and I was gonna go
back to bed because I was tired.

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And it was Monday. And on
Mondays. Sometimes I pass out

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because the weekends are so much
fun. That's what it is. I'm so

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tired from all the fun that
weekends are. I used to love

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weekends growing up. I remember
man, I'd be like, Oh, I can't

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wait for the weekend.
Everybody's everybody's working

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for the weekend. Here we go.
It's Saturday morning. Whoo. I'm

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gonna sleep in and then I'm
gonna do fun stuff. And now it's

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just like, oh, no, no, as a
parent, the weekends got in the

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way it gets here. Oh, no. And
then Monday comes in. I'm tired.

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But so I got into bed. And my
hands were weirdly itchy. Like,

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I was like, What is going on
hands? Why are you so itchy. And

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they were kind of dry. And so I
was like, alright, I'll just go,

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you know, like, put some lotion
on him. And that'll that'll fix

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that. And then I started to feel
and this was happening pretty

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rapidly. My my lip was feeling
kind of weird. And it's like,

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All right, well, let's go check
it see. And so I went to the

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bathroom, and I was I was
looking for the lotion, and then

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I shut the mirror. That's where
it is. And I saw my face. And my

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lip was gigantic, and purple.
And my eyes like were swollen

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almost to being shut and they
were bright red. And then not

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only was the rest of my face,
very swollen. But I noticed that

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my tongue swollen, my throat
swollen and the breathing. The

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breathing was not good. And so I
I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and

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I did the did that. Just
hopefully I was like alright,

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this will open up my airways.
And then I was just like,

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alright, calmly, calmly. Let's
find the shoes. Let's make sure

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we have all the stuff the
wallet, the phone, the keys are

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right. Where's the jacket?
Perfect. Let's go downstairs.

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Let's get to the car. Let's go
to the closest urgent care and I

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was doing this all as the
everything was getting much

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worse. Like the breathing was
just like and the like the

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tongue it was. I don't I don't
like tongues. I don't like to

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talk about tongues. I think
they're weird and kind of gross.

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But the tongue was a lot. It was
a lot more than it's supposed to

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be. And I also I couldn't talk
and so really just around the

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corner not I would say maybe is
three quarters of a mile away

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from the house is is an urgent
care. There's one that's closer,

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which is a CVS, but I looked on
the thing and they were not open

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yet. And so I went to the other
one. And at a light, there's two

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lights in between my house in
this place. So at the second

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light, it was red light. And so
I texted my wife and I was just

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like, Hi, I'm having an allergic
reaction. We're going to urgent

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care, period. That's all I saw
at time, then the light turned

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her send light green, off, we go
to the urgent care, get to the

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urgent care Park can't breathe,
like really can't breathe,

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stumble into the place, lumbar
into the place. There's no one

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there. And I look around. And I
guess they heard me come in. And

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so a woman came, you know,
behind the desk, and her eyes

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got enormous. And she said, can
I please have your ID? And I was

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just like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, because it couldn't talk.

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I couldn't speak at all like,
rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa,

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whoa, is how I sounded. But
worse than that. And then the

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woman who there's another woman
who kind of looked in and she

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was like, get him back here now.
And they got me back there sat

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me in the chair and started
taking doing my blood. What is

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the oxygen levels and the thing
around my arm to check my blood

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pressure, and all these things?
And it was great. But they were

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running around like chickens.
They were just running around in

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circles, like, what do we do?
What do we do? It's Monday

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morning. This is the first guy
that comes in what? It's not a

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good way to start a week called
labor ambulance call the man

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ambulance quickly. And so the
ambulance comes, but it took

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them about, I want to say eight
minutes. I don't know pretty

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sure it could have died that
eight minutes. And so they get

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there. And they're like, should
we do an EpiPen? Do we need to

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do what have you been? And
they're like, get them on the

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stretcher. It was all very like,
but do this. Gotta do this, get

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into that. And I, they got me on
the stretcher. And they were

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asking all these questions. And
they asked me to write down my

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phone number because I couldn't
say it. And I wrote mine. And

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then I wrote my wife's number.
And then I said, I was trying to

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say hold on do you want me to
call my wife but they couldn't

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understand it because it came
out like this rah rah, love,

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love. And so I took my phone,
they were like, We don't know

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what you're saying. So I took my
phone and I pressed the you

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know, I was like call wife. And
then I handed them the phone.

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And then she got a call from a
police officer. And you know,

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when you get that call, it's
scary. And so she you know, I

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was talking to him about the
situation what was going on?

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Should she come back? And I was
like, No, I got this, you know,

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and then I get whisked to the
ambulance. And they put an IV in

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me and then it's Benadryl. And
then things start to come down a

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little bit. They were debating
whether to do the epi pen or

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not. And epi pen is like, the
guy was telling me about it. And

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I wish you wouldn't have it's a
it's a tube with a giant needle,

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he said, giant needle that they
jam into your leg and then, you

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know, like, whatever. And it's
what they do. When I guess

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you're going into anaphylaxis,
which is not good thing. So

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they, they were going to wait
until we got to the emergency

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room because they were kind of
monitoring everything. And I was

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I still somehow was getting
oxygen. Even though I the

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breathing was just like wow,
right, very rapid. And we got to

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the emergency room on the thing,
and then they get me in there

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and then they start pumping me
full of all kinds of other

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stuff. And you know, I was
plugged in, I've got tubes, I've

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got things in my fingers things.
There was this a lot. And I

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ended up being at the hospital
for like 10 hours. And because

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they it was it wouldn't the
swelling wouldn't go down. Like

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it was very slow, like, my face
would get a little bit better.

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And I realized that about like,
three o'clock that I hadn't

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eaten anything since pretty much
five o'clock the last day and I

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was just like and they're like,
What, and that's because

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everybody was like What What are
you saying what? I'm sure. And

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they were like, oh food. We have
two two sandwiches. I was like,

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oh, not and they gay and then I
just like everyone, Apple car

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or, or yoga. And they're like,
ah, applesauce, we can give you

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applesauce and I was like oh
Huh.

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And I'm texting, you know,
people updates. This is what's

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happening. This is where I am,
this is what's going on yada,

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yada. I'll give you updates as I
have them. Yeah, and one of the

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annoying things was I couldn't
go to the bathroom because of

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these things tied into me. But
eventually I was I was like, I

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was like, the bathroom. And they
were like, okay, hold on, well,

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unclick you unclick I click, I
click. And she's like, okay,

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it's doors right down there.
And, and I started walking out

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of the room. They asked me if I
could and I said yes. And I got

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like two feet out of the room,
they had forgotten to unplug,

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like, some major thing. And it
knocked me back. And it almost,

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and the equipment, like almost
fell over. And like, so everyone

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in the emergency room was like,
gasp it says everything. Okay?

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And I was just like, they were
like, Oh, we're sorry. And then

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I, you know, I use bathroom. And
then like, a couple hours later,

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things were down enough. My face
was okay. And they were like,

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Okay, you seem good. Okay,
called the wife. She and the

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kids came and got me. And I
Yeah, you know, it's better. Now

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I was given all kinds of
medicine, I'm going to see an

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allergist, see what happened.
And because it was very random,

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and the only thing that we could
figure out was it was this

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orange juice, because that was
all I had. And we were looking

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at the bottle and it was orange
juice that had calcium in it.

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And then I started researching,
and it seems like calcium

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citrate or calcium phosphate, or
some of the things that they put

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into the orange juice that I
maybe had a bad reaction to. And

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so it was a pretty fun day,
pretty much everyone thought

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that I was going to be dead or
die or whatever. And my main

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fear was that they were going to
intubate me. So put like a tube

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in my throat so that I could
breathe, because then my fear

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was, well what is my voice sound
like? Like, how is this going to

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impact how my voice sounds which
I use my voice for a lot of

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things, talking being one of
them, but now it's all fixed

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except for the cleanup and the
tears.

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Outro: The bumper podcast is an
oftentimes hilarious weekly romp

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with Natty Bumpercar and some of
his pals. It is family friendly,

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clean and ridiculous. Thanks a
bundle for listening. If you

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love our show, and you'd like to
help support the podcast, check

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out our Patreon page at https
colon forward slash forward

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00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:08,190
slash www.patreon.com forward
slash Natty Bumpercar also

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pretty please subscribe wherever
you get your podcasts, share it

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with everyone everywhere. post
about it on all of the social

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medias or leave a rating and
review. The bumper podcast is

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00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:23,760
produced at headquarters in
coffee Ken alley. It's recorded

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00:13:23,790 --> 00:13:28,170
mixed and produced by producer.
The bumper podcast features

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contributions from Aloysius jpg
Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle,

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00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:38,250
robot trunks and a gaggle of
other silly rascals. Our head

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talker is probably Natty
Bumpercar. We also have an

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absurd newsletter. Check it out
and subscribe at Natty

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bumpercar.com/subscribe Also,
you can follow me on Instagram

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and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar
Hugs and hearts See you soon.

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NonPro: This has been a non
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00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:07,620
executive producer Franco Blaue.
This program and many others

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license. Please share it but ask
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