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Natty Bumpercar: All right. Hey,
how does work for the podcast

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like in normal life? If you're
near someone and then they yawn,

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then for some reason, I don't
know what you but you yawn as

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well. I do. I don't know if you
do. I think you do. Do you? Why

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is that? It's like a yawn
response. Like, why are we why

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are we triggered? I'm just I'm
glad doesn't happen when we

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sneeze, like one person sneezes,
and then the whole table

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sneezing? That'd be terrible.
But yawning, that's weird to

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like, why? Anyway, I apologize.
I didn't mean to yawn. This is

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Natty Bumpercar. And this is a
bumper podcast I I had been out

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and about and I, you know, I'm,
I'm working on the show here. Go

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into the different the different
countries where the bumper

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podcast is on the charts. It's
actually we were we've made it

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to the charts. And, you know,
talking to people, oh, they

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said, you need a theme song.
Gotta go get a theme song. I was

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just like, ah, we okay, we'll
get a theme song. And then

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they're like, you know, you got
to do everybody don't have an

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opinion, you know what you got
to do? And I was just like, I

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don't know, what's, what am I
supposed to do? And then they

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tell me all these things. And I,
at some point, while they're

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speaking, my eyes kind of glaze
over. And my brain goes to

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another place. And if I'm to be
completely honest, I don't know

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what they've said to me. But I'm
sure they've given me great

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advice. And then I feel guilty,
because these people have given

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their time to try to tell me,
you know, get to help me to tell

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me what to do. And then I don't
even listen. How ungrateful is

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that? Tremendously ungrateful?
Huh? Well, else is going on.

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I've been working on the
railroad, like, Oh, my live long

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days. But mostly, I've been
working on the railroad, just

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just to pass the time away.
Because I'm not busy enough. I I

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like to I like to I have a
therapist, I was talking to my

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therapist about. She said, You
seem overwhelmed. seem like

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you're taking too much stuff on
I was just like, Yeah. And she's

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like, but you I know you like to
do that. And you told me that,

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you know, as long as you're
feeling okay, then that's okay.

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Are you feeling okay? And I was
like, No. And so then she was

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like, well, then you need to
take some stuff off of your

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plate, and stop doing as much
stuff. And I was just like,

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Okay, that sounds good. And
practice, those are good words,

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have no idea how to actually
make that happen. And then she

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said, Well, your session is
over, and come back in a couple

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of weeks. And by that time,
either, you will have figured it

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out. Or we can work on it then,
or knowing you, you're probably

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gonna start three more companies
and take on 16 more impossible

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tasks. And I was just like, all
right, that sounds like a

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challenge. That's your it seems
like you're saying, Can you do

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these things? And I'm going to
tell you right now, yes, I can.

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I can. I can do all those
things. And I'm here to tell you

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a bumper podcast I've I've
succeeded in doing that. I am

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quite proud of myself. And I
feel like you should be quite

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proud of me as well. Because I
have managed to, not only not

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complete, not finish any
projects, but I have managed to

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actually take more projects on.
It's very impressive. It's my

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superpower. Really, if I had to,
you know, figure that I have a

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superpower I think it's going to
be that I just continually add

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on to the pile it's almost like
a weighted blanket. It's not you

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know, it's like oh, the world is
so nice and calm it's not but

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you know, just for the sake of
this relaxing the world of this

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world. Oh spring its spring
again. It's not Oh, look out.

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The weather's beautiful and my
I've had a nice meal again. You

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don't haven't really eaten
today, but that's my fault.

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There's not any reason other
than me. Okay, Oh, perfect.

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Everything great. Oh, Ah, you
know, and then you go, you know

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what I'm going to do? I'm not
going to take on all a lot of

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projects, I'm going to take on
the appropriate amount of

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projects, which is not because
life itself is a project, taking

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care of the kids having the job
taking care of the dogs, these

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are all projects, making sure
that the car is working

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properly, making sure that you
know, there's just there's in

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life, there's this massive list,
it seems of things you can't get

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away from. And you know, those
are big responsibility. And make

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sure the kids brush their teeth.
Did they? Do they floss their

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teeth? Oh, I don't know. Look,
that one's already asleep. How

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do I get him to brush his teeth
when he's already asleep? So

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then, why in the world? Would I
go and look for more things,

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more responsibilities to add on
to the file? Now? I don't know.

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I don't know. I mean, I'm, I'm,
I'm asking you a question.

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Because I don't know the answer.
And I wish I did. Sometimes, I

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think that what I do, and maybe
we've talked about this before,

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I honestly don't remember, and I
apologize for that. But what I

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like to do is if I just keep
adding more stuff on to my

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weighted blanket of life, then
well, I don't know what I think

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is gonna happen with what ends
up happening is the weighted

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blanket gets so heavy with all
the responsibilities that I

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can't move. And then you know
what I do? I sleep under the

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weighted blanket, it's very
warm. I must say. The dogs love

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it, because I'm not moving so
they can just curl right up to

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me. I had no idea like, I've had
dogs before, but I had no idea

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how much the dogs that they'd
like to sleep. Like, that's all

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they do really asleep. All
right, come for podcast. I don't

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know if you've ever been in the
middle of recording a really

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great episode of your podcast,
which I understand is not what

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we were doing a second ago
there. But let's say that I was

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recording a really good episode
of the podcast. And you know,

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you're just really moving and
you're talking and you're saying

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things and you're like, Yeah,
this feels great. And then your

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kid bursts in and says, Hey,
stop talking to your computer.

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And I'm just like, oh, that
really, really boils it down,

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doesn't it? That really hurts.
Stop talking to your computer,

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dad. Ouch. Ha. Because I mean, I
mean, in essence, that's all I'm

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doing really is I'm talking. I
mean, I'm looking at a computer.

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I'm talking into a microphone.
And, you know, I have I have

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headphones on so that, you know,
there's there's, you know,

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there's a few things that are
going on. But I felt like he had

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gotten me good enough that there
was no reason for me to, to try

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to retort to try to try to come
back. He had beaten me down as

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only your children can. What was
I talking about? It is that's

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the thing. This was yesterday.
And now it's today. And I I

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don't know. I? I wasn't ready to
you know, I yesterday, I ate

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oatmeal for breakfast. And
today, I ate grits. grits are

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just little tiny bits of corn.
And there were some cheese in it

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and some pepper and a little bit
of garlic salt. If I'm to be

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completely honest, maybe maybe
some cheese, maybe maybe more

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cheese than I intended. But you
know, that's how cheese works.

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And they say how much cheese
would you like on this year,

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like, keep going and then it's
always just a little bit more

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than you anticipated or wanted.
And that's fine. It's a good

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problem to have. It's different
than like gasoline in your car.

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Right with cheese. They say how
much do you get like, fill it

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up? Keep going. Let's go. And
they're like, What does fill it

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up mean with cheese? And you're
like, I don't know, but we're on

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this journey together. Let's see
what happens. So you know, if

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you do that at a gas station,
you're filling your car up and

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we're like, what did you What do
you want? You're like, fill it

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up and they're like, Okay, no
problem and then they do and

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then you know the little gas
handle thing goes click one

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because that means it's full.
It's registered that the car is

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full and gas and you're like,
you know what, let's keep going

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there. You can't because then
the gas spills everywhere and

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And then you know, it's a fire
hazard. Cheese, not so much. The

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only hazard that Jesus is a fun
hazard

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for maj hazard. I don't know
what it is. So anyway, you know,

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I think I was saying something
about the dogs being lazy. I

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don't know why I think that but
I, this is kind of always on my

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mind how lazy the dogs are, the
only time the dogs get up. And

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this is nice of them is when
they have to use the restroom,

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which is what we call our back
yard now because that's, you

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know, what happens back there.
It's it's, and they get up when

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they when they're hungry. And
they get up to, to bark,

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sometimes to shake, you know, a
lot of shaking going on. Little

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ear scratching, that's gonna
it's gonna happen probably two

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or three in the morning. Which
is I think why they sleep all

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the time. I think the dogs sleep
all the time, because they don't

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just sleep through the night.
And they don't let me sleep

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through the night. And I think
that the message they're trying

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to tell me is, hey, you know
what, why don't you just hop on

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our schedule here and curl up
into a ball, find one ray of

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sunshine, curl up in that little
ray of sunshine, and pretend

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that it's really warming you up?
It's not, but you can pretend it

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is. My assumption is that my
dogs have very good imagination,

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and that they can really, you're
like, Yep, this is it's woof,

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the sun is really giving it to
me here. It's kind of like when

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the door opens. And there's a
couple of birds in the backyard.

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And they run over to what I can
only assume is to talk to the

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birds. Let them know hey, what's
going on? I haven't seen in a

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while ah, spring is coming up.
But then do the birds always fly

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off because they don't want any
part of that conversation.

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Right? I don't know. I would
love to have that conversation.

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I would love for spring to be
here. Because you know what

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happens when when spring rolls
around? Well, I get to sleep

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better because the time change
is nice. There's sun and there's

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vitamins. And the most important
thing of all, and I think you're

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gonna agree with me then this
thing here but Bob louder is

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that there's a lot of cheese

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Outro: the bumper podcast is an
oftentimes hilarious weekly romp

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00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:49,590
with Natty Bumpercar and some of
his pals. It is family friendly,

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clean and ridiculous. Thanks a
bundle for listening. If you

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00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:57,840
love our show, and you'd like to
help support the podcast, check

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00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,950
out our Patreon page at https
colon forward slash forward

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00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:08,190
slash www.patreon.com forward
slash Natty Bumpercar also

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00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:11,490
pretty please subscribe wherever
you get your podcasts, share it

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00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:14,700
with everyone everywhere. post
about it on all of the social

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00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:19,530
medias or leave a rating and
review. The bumper podcast is

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00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:23,760
produced at headquarters in
coffee Ken alley. It's recorded

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00:13:23,790 --> 00:13:28,170
mixed and produced by producer.
The bumper podcast features

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00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:33,210
contributions from Aloysius jpg
Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle,

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00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:38,250
robot trunks and a gaggle of
other silly rascals. Our head

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00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:42,270
talker is probably Natty
Bumpercar. We also have an

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00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:46,020
absurd newsletter. Check it out
and subscribe at Natty

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00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:51,000
bumpercar.com/subscribe Also,
you can follow me on Instagram

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00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:55,650
and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar
Hugs and hire. See you soon.

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00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:04,050
NonPro: This has been a non
productive media presentation,

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00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:07,620
executive producer Frank Blaue.
This program and many others

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00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:10,410
like it on the nonproductive
network is distributed under a

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license. Please share it but ask
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