Hello everyone, and welcome to the Day After I'm your host Kai,
and I'm joined today by my friends and colleagues, Wendy Walner. Hello, Wendy.
Hey, thanks, Kai. Thanks for being here for us today.
Yeah. And, uh, Carrie Gallagher. Hello, Carrie.
Hi.
And we're here today after another devastating news cycle. Uh,
we want to provide you with resources to help you cope with this.
Whether you're directly affected by this as an employee who's arriving at work
or a parent dropping their child off at school, you might be scared, confused,
or angry, and we're here to let you know that's okay.
So how do we stay positive? How do we not give up?
How do we raise hopeful children? So, Carrie, let me start with you.
As a mother of two young children, what is going through your mind when you,
you know, see the news come through?
And how did you get yourself up this morning to send your kids off to school?
You know, as a mom of, um, two young children, honestly,
with what happened yesterday and what I've seen in the past few years,
few months, decades, right?
Every time you see a news story like that break,
the first thing you feel is for me is devastation and just
heartbreak for the people that were affected. And then I move,
and today I feel angry, honestly. Um, and I woke up today saying,
you know,
I know I need to give my kids that positive outlook and coping
mechanisms to live, you know,
healthfully in this world. Right? Um, and as a parent,
I woke up and, and my first, you know, thought or question to Wendy was,
how do I do that as a mom?
I'm having a hard time finding those answers.
Yeah. You and I think the rest of the world, right? I mean, um, so, you know,
Carrie and I am lucky enough to be super close friends with Carrie and her
family, um, as, as so, um, but I'm also her boss and,
and hopefully her mentor. And so, you know,
I think one of the first things we have to start is that the day after and the
day after and the day after,
we are living in a world that is so full of horrific stories that we
really, truly need to embrace in a whole different tool bag,
a whole different action steps of,
for some people simply getting out of bed today,
just the act of getting outta bed. I mean,
you've got a super pregnant wife over there,
so it's physically hard to get outta bed.
Now it's emotionally hard to get outta bed. Yeah.
And it's mentally hard to get outta bed, but she got outta bed.
Yeah. I mean, y you kind of have to. Um, and you know,
when we were family planning, you know,
of all day happened and I thought to myself, well,
why would I want to bring into this world?
And here we are a few months out from life,
and you ask yourself, well,
what conversation am I gonna be having with my three and a half,
four year old when I'm sending him to preschool? You know,
what kind of resources will I have Yeah. Available to me, you know, as a parent.
So I wanna take you on a journey a little bit. Um,
I grew up in a little bit of a different family. Um,
I'm first generation American,
so it's pretty common at my dinner table to hear some German and some Italian.
And I didn't like it as a kid, right?
Because as a kid you don't want anyone looking at you.
And we'd go to dinner and it was embarrassing, right?
No kid likes to be embarrassed. And, um,
as shocking as this is at the age of three, I learned about gas chambers.
I learned that terribly horrible things happened to other people.
That they burned people at three years old. By five years old,
I understood the idea of mass murder and genocide and horrible.
And at the very same moment,
I also learned about Anne Frank and I also learned about the world of
righteousness. So I learned about balance. It's pretty funny, right?
I end up owning a balance company, .
Yeah. Here we are.
Right?
And so I think the reality is when we teach our children evil,
we also teach them faith and hope. Yeah. And tenacity.
And I don't know that there's an answer for some,
these are the children that are gonna become the next presidents because they're
gonna say, the answer is in the government.
And Carrie's job is to say you don't like something.
Maybe you wanna run for office.
For some it's gonna be the mental health conversation.
What does it mean to be that angry?
And how we can have that conversation for everyone.
It means what are we doing to make this world better?
Because action is the only thing that helps anger and
overwhelmed.
So as you start to bring a child in your primary job is to have a
balance of, for the stories that we hear that are so horrific and devastating,
are we also doing the balance of showing them the amazing stories of young
people that are changing the world,
the Greta Thunderbirds of the world that are tackling global warming,
or even the Serena Williams stories. Like, I mean, I could go on and on, right?
Do you have a favorite go-to story kind? Do you have a story that you're like,
wow, this person, like this is the person, this is my go-to inspirational story.
Ah, like your uh, north Star. Yeah.
We talked about that.
Yeah. So I think where I immediately go is to my grandfather, uh,
he always approached every situation moment with
calm collectiveness. And he just led with love.
Um, you know, and he was, he was a minister. So I think that was, you know,
part of his practice and his teachings. Um, but you know,
as I think about what's happening, I ask myself, well,
what would he tell me right now in their living room, you know,
over a cup of coffee? Yeah.
It's funny you say that, Kai, cuz I, I do the same thing,
but I go to my grandmother and exactly like you said,
the one thing I think about if she was alive today,
what she would say to me is make a list of all the bad and then draw
that line down the middle and make a list of all the good. And.
So if I come into your homes, I should feel their presence, right? I mean, you,
you know, you might make fun of in my office, you know,
which is being constructed right now, but I, it's like a shrine to my father.
I can feel his energy and when I feel his energy,
I'm driven by his words and his actions. And so your children should have that,
not just in their d n A because they do, but also in their, you know,
their words or their actions.
And so in the worst moments when we feel like we don't know what to do,
we begin to understand there is an action plan. We know, you know, and,
and Carrie's grandmother's a perfect example because she also served in,
in a war. So yeah.
She saw horrible devastation and yet became an incredibly successful
entrepreneur. And, um, and I do think there's some very practical tips.
Turn off the news.
Nobody needs to be watching this more than 20 minutes turn off social media.
We don't need to say the same stories again and again.
Yeah. You call that doom scrolling.
Hundred percent. Hundred percent. The.
Phone could be a worst enemy.
Right?
And I'm gonna say the other is with the people in your lives that live in the
world of anger, no solutions only anger,
those people need to be deleted.
What you need to make sure is we're aligning with people about what we're doing.
And I don't care how small it is. So for instance, I would have my,
the Riley's who, who's at the right age, I would have them write a note,
I would have them make a card to the families and I would mail it. You know,
one of the things that we did after September 11th that stays with my children
is we baked a ton of goods, baked goods. And you know, I remember my son saying,
you know, I have one. I'm like, none.
You can't even have an order of one because there are first responders who need
every single one and you are part of helping them.
So I would show them at a very little level,
small level to a very big level that everything they do helps make the world
kinder and that means that they are part of, I can reach out. Right.
Um,
Carrie mentioned something that our school system did is let's talk about how
you feel.
Let's talk to our children and let's allow them to really talk about what
makes them feel. So you both mentioned two private people, but if Carrie,
I were to ask you, who's your go-to celebrity?
Like who's the one person that you're like, wow,
I love the way they handle adversity. Who would you shout out?
Actually, I have to say, um, for me, one of them is, is Michelle Obama. Yep.
And her,
one of her posts yesterday was the only one that actually made me feel good.
So do go to those people, whether it's personal or you know,
someone obviously in the, um, the public eye,
but it really can make a difference, I think. Love it. Another thing, Wendy,
that um, that helps me is just reading some positivity.
We talked about not going and watching the news and going on social media,
but going to read those positive uplifting quotes or, you know,
a motivational book that always makes you feel happy.
Something like that can be helpful.
Kai, your go-to love those examples, Kara.
Yeah, I guess on the note of positivity, you know, I always go towards comedy.
Um, and you know, someone I've always loved is, uh,
Conan O'Brien and he has a great podcast called, uh,
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. And I've always enjoyed listening to that,
so I'll probably bring up episode of that today.
Love it.
Something to make you feel good.
I listened to my favorite podcast this morning and just taking your mind
elsewhere, even for a minute can help, we.
Call that distraction therapy, right?
I'm going to give my permission to go to somewhere else. So Carrie and Kai,
I wanna thank you so much for taking time out. It's not one answer here,
but the takeaway is we're here again the day after and we will remind
ourselves, plug ourselves back in,
get back up and be a brighter,
kinder person to help make sure that we're moving the world in the right
direction.
Well said. And until next time, uh, take care everyone. Bye.