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Hello everyone, and welcome to
the Day After I'm your host Kai,

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and I'm joined today by my friends and
colleagues, Wendy Walner. Hello, Wendy.

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Hey, thanks, Kai. Thanks
for being here for us today.

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Yeah. And, uh, Carrie
Gallagher. Hello, Carrie.

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Hi.

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And we're here today after another
devastating news cycle. Uh,

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we want to provide you with
resources to help you cope with this.

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Whether you're directly affected by this
as an employee who's arriving at work

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or a parent dropping their child off at
school, you might be scared, confused,

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or angry, and we're here to
let you know that's okay.

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So how do we stay positive?
How do we not give up?

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How do we raise hopeful children?
So, Carrie, let me start with you.

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As a mother of two young children, what
is going through your mind when you,

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you know, see the news come through?

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And how did you get yourself up this
morning to send your kids off to school?

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You know, as a mom of, um,
two young children, honestly,

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with what happened yesterday and
what I've seen in the past few years,

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few months, decades, right?

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Every time you see a news
story like that break,

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the first thing you feel is
for me is devastation and just

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heartbreak for the people that
were affected. And then I move,

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and today I feel angry, honestly.
Um, and I woke up today saying,

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you know,

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I know I need to give my kids
that positive outlook and coping

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mechanisms to live, you know,

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healthfully in this world.
Right? Um, and as a parent,

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I woke up and, and my first, you know,
thought or question to Wendy was,

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how do I do that as a mom?

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I'm having a hard time
finding those answers.

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Yeah. You and I think the rest of the
world, right? I mean, um, so, you know,

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Carrie and I am lucky enough to be
super close friends with Carrie and her

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family, um, as, as so, um,
but I'm also her boss and,

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and hopefully her
mentor. And so, you know,

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I think one of the first things we have
to start is that the day after and the

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day after and the day after,

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we are living in a world that is
so full of horrific stories that we

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really, truly need to embrace
in a whole different tool bag,

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a whole different action steps of,

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for some people simply
getting out of bed today,

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just the act of getting outta bed. I mean,

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you've got a super
pregnant wife over there,

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so it's physically hard to get outta bed.

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Now it's emotionally hard
to get outta bed. Yeah.

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And it's mentally hard to get
outta bed, but she got outta bed.

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Yeah. I mean, y you kind of
have to. Um, and you know,

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when we were family planning, you know,

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of all day happened and I
thought to myself, well,

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why would I want to bring into this world?

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And here we are a few
months out from life,

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and you ask yourself, well,

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what conversation am I gonna be
having with my three and a half,

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four year old when I'm sending
him to preschool? You know,

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what kind of resources will I have Yeah.
Available to me, you know, as a parent.

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So I wanna take you on a
journey a little bit. Um,

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I grew up in a little bit
of a different family. Um,

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I'm first generation American,

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so it's pretty common at my dinner table
to hear some German and some Italian.

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And I didn't like it as a kid, right?

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Because as a kid you don't
want anyone looking at you.

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And we'd go to dinner and
it was embarrassing, right?

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No kid likes to be embarrassed. And, um,

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as shocking as this is at the age of
three, I learned about gas chambers.

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I learned that terribly horrible
things happened to other people.

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That they burned people at three
years old. By five years old,

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I understood the idea of mass
murder and genocide and horrible.

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And at the very same moment,

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I also learned about Anne Frank and
I also learned about the world of

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righteousness. So I learned about
balance. It's pretty funny, right?

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I end up owning a
balance company, <laugh>.

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Yeah. Here we are.

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Right?

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And so I think the reality is
when we teach our children evil,

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we also teach them faith and
hope. Yeah. And tenacity.

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And I don't know that
there's an answer for some,

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these are the children that are gonna
become the next presidents because they're

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gonna say, the answer
is in the government.

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And Carrie's job is to say
you don't like something.

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Maybe you wanna run for office.

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For some it's gonna be the
mental health conversation.

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What does it mean to be that angry?

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And how we can have that
conversation for everyone.

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It means what are we doing
to make this world better?

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Because action is the only
thing that helps anger and

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overwhelmed.

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So as you start to bring a child
in your primary job is to have a

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balance of, for the stories that we hear
that are so horrific and devastating,

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are we also doing the balance of showing
them the amazing stories of young

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people that are changing the world,

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the Greta Thunderbirds of the world
that are tackling global warming,

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or even the Serena Williams stories.
Like, I mean, I could go on and on, right?

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Do you have a favorite go-to story kind?
Do you have a story that you're like,

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wow, this person, like this is the person,
this is my go-to inspirational story.

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Ah, like your uh, north Star. Yeah.

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We talked about that.

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Yeah. So I think where I immediately
go is to my grandfather, uh,

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he always approached every
situation moment with

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calm collectiveness. And
he just led with love.

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Um, you know, and he was, he was a
minister. So I think that was, you know,

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part of his practice and his
teachings. Um, but you know,

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as I think about what's
happening, I ask myself, well,

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what would he tell me right now
in their living room, you know,

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over a cup of coffee? Yeah.

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It's funny you say that, Kai,
cuz I, I do the same thing,

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but I go to my grandmother
and exactly like you said,

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the one thing I think about
if she was alive today,

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what she would say to me is make a
list of all the bad and then draw

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that line down the middle and
make a list of all the good. And.

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So if I come into your homes, I should
feel their presence, right? I mean, you,

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you know, you might make fun
of in my office, you know,

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which is being constructed right now,
but I, it's like a shrine to my father.

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I can feel his energy and
when I feel his energy,

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I'm driven by his words and his actions.
And so your children should have that,

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not just in their d n A because they
do, but also in their, you know,

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their words or their actions.

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And so in the worst moments when we
feel like we don't know what to do,

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we begin to understand there is an
action plan. We know, you know, and,

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and Carrie's grandmother's a perfect
example because she also served in,

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in a war. So yeah.

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She saw horrible devastation and
yet became an incredibly successful

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entrepreneur. And, um, and I do think
there's some very practical tips.

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Turn off the news.

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Nobody needs to be watching this more
than 20 minutes turn off social media.

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We don't need to say the
same stories again and again.

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Yeah. You call that doom scrolling.

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Hundred percent. Hundred percent. The.

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Phone could be a worst enemy.

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Right?

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And I'm gonna say the other is with the
people in your lives that live in the

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world of anger, no solutions only anger,

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those people need to be deleted.

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What you need to make sure
is we're aligning with people
about what we're doing.

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And I don't care how small it is.
So for instance, I would have my,

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the Riley's who, who's at the right
age, I would have them write a note,

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I would have them make a card to the
families and I would mail it. You know,

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one of the things that we did after
September 11th that stays with my children

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is we baked a ton of goods, baked goods.
And you know, I remember my son saying,

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you know, I have one. I'm like, none.

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You can't even have an order
of one because there are
first responders who need

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every single one and you
are part of helping them.

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So I would show them
at a very little level,

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small level to a very big level that
everything they do helps make the world

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kinder and that means that they are
part of, I can reach out. Right.

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Um,

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Carrie mentioned something that our
school system did is let's talk about how

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you feel.

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Let's talk to our children and let's
allow them to really talk about what

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makes them feel. So you both mentioned
two private people, but if Carrie,

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I were to ask you, who's
your go-to celebrity?

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Like who's the one person
that you're like, wow,

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I love the way they handle
adversity. Who would you shout out?

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Actually, I have to say, um, for me,
one of them is, is Michelle Obama. Yep.

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And her,

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one of her posts yesterday was the only
one that actually made me feel good.

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So do go to those people, whether
it's personal or you know,

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someone obviously in
the, um, the public eye,

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but it really can make a difference, I
think. Love it. Another thing, Wendy,

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that um, that helps me is
just reading some positivity.

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We talked about not going and watching
the news and going on social media,

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but going to read those positive
uplifting quotes or, you know,

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a motivational book that
always makes you feel happy.

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Something like that can be helpful.

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Kai, your go-to love those examples, Kara.

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Yeah, I guess on the note of positivity,
you know, I always go towards comedy.

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Um, and you know, someone
I've always loved is, uh,

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Conan O'Brien and he has a
great podcast called, uh,

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Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. And
I've always enjoyed listening to that,

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so I'll probably bring
up episode of that today.

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Love it.

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Something to make you feel good.

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I listened to my favorite podcast
this morning and just taking your mind

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elsewhere, even for a minute can help, we.

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Call that distraction therapy, right?

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I'm going to give my permission to go
to somewhere else. So Carrie and Kai,

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I wanna thank you so much for taking
time out. It's not one answer here,

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but the takeaway is we're here again
the day after and we will remind

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ourselves, plug ourselves back in,

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get back up and be a brighter,

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kinder person to help make sure that
we're moving the world in the right

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direction.

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Well said. And until next time,
uh, take care everyone. Bye.