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Welcome. This is Wendy Walner.

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I am so excited to introduce
you to another amazing person.

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You know a lot about my reflection
on Women's History Month is

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relationships that I've
been lucky enough to meet.

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And so I think it's really appropriate
to tell you that, um, not just who our,

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our next conversation is, but,

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but really how important the
connections that we make are. So,

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I am not a person who
goes to nail salons, um,

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barely ever see Wendy
having her nails done.

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So pictured sitting next to a woman who
just looked like somebody I would wanna

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talk to, and, um,

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I was risky and brave and relentless,

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almost like a little kid pulling
on your jacket, saying, hi, hi.

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Will you talk to me? Will you talk
to me? And, um, that introduction,

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that day at a place I'd never been before,

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became this beginning of somebody
that I have learned to admire,

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that I've learned to follow,
that I've learned to listen to,

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and has really taught me
some guiding principles.

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So as we continue into
Women's History Month,

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I encourage you literally to look to
the right and left, to look up and down,

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to make connections with other women
who can teach us and guide us. You know,

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March 1st, I think all of us saw so much,

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and we were there with our social
media posts and we were out there, yay,

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rah rah. And by March 3rd we saw less.
And March 5th, kind of not at all.

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And here we are mid-month. Um,
so I know we have a lot of news.

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I certainly understand we have
banks closing and you know,

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we still have horrific earthquakes. And I,

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I'm so mindful of the devastation,
but I do have to say that, um,

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it is a little disheartening to me that
for, for some reason on this month,

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we've lost some steam. And
so I question whether A,

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we somehow don't think there's enough
women to talk about, which is pretty, uh,

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tragic statement to make, or b,

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if we've lost some courage
to continue the conversation.

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So let's take a minute and
talk to Rain Henderson,

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who's had an incredibly stellar career,

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has had some amazing life choices that
she's vulnerable enough to talk to us

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about, and to really en,

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en engage in the words
that she has added to my

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vocabulary that has been such a
guiding force for me ever since that

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wonderful day in that nail salon.

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Thank you so much for chit
chatting with me today.

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Always enjoy our talks and I always
learn so much. And I know, uh,

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I know you have so much to offer, but
would you start with just a brief bio?

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How did you get to be where you are and,
and just a little bit about yourself.

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Um, sure. Well, thank you Wendy.
It's so nice to be with you. Um,

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this is an honor, so thank you for
having me. My name is Rain Henderson.

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I have asked myself questions my whole
life about what's important to me,

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what do I wanna do, uh, what do I like?

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I consider myself a highly empathetic
and highly observant person.

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So I tend to learn a lot by watching
what other people do. And through that,

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gonna say yes to things.

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So long as those things pointed
towards my personal North Star,

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which was to prevent harm,
which sounds humongous,

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but I think because of
my childhood experiences,

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I knew that at the very least I wanted
to do work that if it wasn't making

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things better, at the very least,
it was thinking about like,

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how could you potentially take a,

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a current system or a current organization
and could you ensure that it's,

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it's not doing harm, right? It's
not doing harm to the environment,

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it's not doing harm to people. Anytime
an opportunity presented itself,

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if I could answer those
questions generally, then I
said yes to the opportunity.

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So that meting in politics, it
meant working for nonprofits,

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it meant working in the private sector
and it meant working for individuals.

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But I've also run political campaigns and
worked as a policy advisor to a number

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of people, including Senator Kirsten
Gillibrand, who's a huge mentor. Um, and,

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you know, bill and Hillary
Clinton, Chelsea Clinton,
uh, all people who sort of,

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you know, really started
out in the political sphere,

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but have a very large focus on making
sure that everyone has the opportunity to

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live their their best life. Um,

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I find myself today working as
an independent consultant, uh,

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with a team of women who I'm so
proud to, to work with every day.

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And we all came together about the
same point in our career where we had,

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I think, achieved a fair amount
of, um, success on paper, right?

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So certain titles,

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what I wanted was agency and
self-authorship to be able to make sure

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that my life was balanced and that
I was being my authentic self.

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I love it. I mean, rain, it's
like the first time I met you,

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which was at a nail salon. Let's
just go out and do that. You know,

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you had such a profound impact because
you really introduced me to a term North

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Star,

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but you explained it in a way that like
really resonated with me and my life.

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Work of finding balance and understanding
how quickly we can lose direction.

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What is your feeling about where
we are today in the year 2023?

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We need so many things for women, uh,
and for all people. And, you know,

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we talk about Women's History Month.
I have a lot of questions about like,

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what does it mean to be a woman right
now? What does it mean for, you know,

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people who identify as women,

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for those who are born as
women and those who are not,

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and to find their place in this
world. And so it feels like a,

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a month focusing on women's equality
and equity is so necessary cause

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we have so far to go, and yet there's,
there's so much room to think about,

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like everybody else who
doesn't necessarily identify,
uh, in a particular way.

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So I find myself having a
lot of questions, but my,

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my gut pull is I wish
we did not need to set

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aside days explicit recognitions,
right? And yet we do.

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And I think when I was younger,

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I definitely took that for granted and I
did not understand how important it was

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to name these months, uh,

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and these days so that we
can have these conversations,

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even if they're uncomfortable,
even if we don't have the answers,

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so that we can continue to, to
wrestle with these issues. So for me,

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thinking about this month,

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constantly reminded just how much work
there is to do to make sure that all

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women who are born and identify that
way feel comfortable and at peace

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in that right? That that's,
um, a place of comfort and joy.

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Most importantly zoom right past
equality to a place of equity. Um,

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because it took me a long time
to realize whether my opinions,

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uh, would be as tolerated,
uh, and is accepted, uh,

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because of my comfort and my femininity.

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And anything that creates dialogue,
I think is necessary and welcome.

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And having explicit focus on what it
means to be a woman in this country,

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uh, in this world, in this
point in time, is necessary.

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I love the idea of opening dialogue,
right? Having the discussion.

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Just shout out to where we need to end up.

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So I know you're super familiar that I've
spent the last 30 years on this naming

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of work-life balance, but
however you wanna market it.

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And I certainly recognize a lot of
people call it different things.

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I'm not even always so interested in
what people call it other than really

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feeling that we can have it
all, however you define that.

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So you've shared your
successes and your dreams.

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I also know that you're a mom and a wife
and you've got a lot of other roles.

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So what do you think? Can we have
it all? And what does that mean?

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Can we have it all? Can we do it all
right. I've had many mentors say,

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you can't have it all. You can
try to do it all. <laugh>. Um, um,

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recognizing my privilege,

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recognizing that I've made decisions I
think are very different than decisions

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that many people make. Um,

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I think there's so many messages in
our society about what it means to be

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successful, um, what it
means to sort of, you know,

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dominate or slay or all the world's words
that are sort of in the vernacular for

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successful people, but
also for successful women.

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And how much those have not
resonated with me over the, you know,

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course of my career. Um, because I,
I want to have meaningful connection.

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I don't need to stand out, I don't
need to slay, I don't need to dominate.

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What I need to do is feel
very connected to the people I

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work with and the people that I'm working
in service to. And same for my family.

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And so I think I've made a lot of
choices that are really leading with the

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heart. And I, I think that very much
goes against our culture. Again,

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both a point of privilege,
but also hard earned in,

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in many regards to get to this point
where I can see now some of the fruits of

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the choices I've made. You know, also,
my husband stays home with the kids.

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So we have tried many
different formats. You know,

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a number of years ago my husband was
going through his own career pivot. We,

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we tried a number of
different formats for him too,

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and ultimately decided that he was going
to be the one that provided the primary

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childcare and served in the
role of when school calls,

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like dad's the one who's gonna
run and do the, the pickup. Um,

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and so I think it's important to recognize
that I feel like we have it all cuz

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we've made those choices and we
can activate on those choices.

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But that means we don't have the income
that we would if we were a double,

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you know, income household.

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It means there are certain things that
we compromise for our children that they

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can't participate in because it comes
down to a financial decision. You know,

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we feel that we are in more ways balanced
and aligned with our values than out

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of sync. You know,

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20 years ago it never came up sort of
this idea of sort of like what it meant to

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be a woman who might
potentially wanna have a family.

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And about seven or eight years ago,

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I started to notice a shift that when
younger people and younger women in

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particular would ask me
about my career path,

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they would ask me what were
my family planning goals. And,

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and I found that so interesting and so
brilliant because as somebody who has the

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ability to give birth and
who wanted to do that,

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there are things I wish I had thought
about differently or that I'd been able to

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talk about sort of more openly. Um,

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and that it was a factor rather than this
thing that I felt like I had to keep,

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you know, kind of compartmentalized and
figure out ways to sort of deal with it,

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um,

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off in the corner rather than it being
sort of central to a part of who I was.

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And you know, in my, in my circle
of life, my job as a piece,

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my family is a piece,

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but for a long time in my early
career I hid the family part.

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I've been with my husband 25 years,

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but there are a lot of people who still
don't know that because I felt like it

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was important to be seen independently.

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And I also got a lot of advice from women
I really admire who told me that that

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was the way to, to show up and was to
sort of keep that compartmentalized.

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So I think for people who
are thinking through this,

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whether you can have it all,
what is important to you?

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Like what does having it all mean?
Just keep asking that question.

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Rain.

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I don't even know if you know how powerful
those words are and how important it

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is cuz we don't hear them enough,
right? We don't hear the inspirational,

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ask yourself the questions,
trust on the answers.

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It's a one final question
for you. Often I'm asked,

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who would you put the picture up of?
A woman that you would shout out to?

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Oh, it's my grandma, Abby Larson. Ah.

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So tell me, introduce me to her.

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So Abby Larson,

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at a time when it was not common to be
a woman who had her own career was well

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respected, had a very robust friend
network. I mean, we used to joke,

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my grandmother, unfortunately, she,
she passed far too young, but you know,

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when she was 78, I had call her
on a Friday to say, Hey grandma,

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I'm coming into town. And she'd be like,
that's great, find some food. Like,

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I'm busy. I have plans. You know, it'd be,

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and it'd be like Friday night at 10
o'clock and she would be going out to,

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to meet people or to do things. So
she had a very full social life,

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but it was all centered around her
values and what was important to her.

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And so what I got to see from her was,
you know, the importance of connection,

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the importance of, you know, kind of
knowing your values and expressing those.

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And, um, anybody who wanted to
run for o Office, uh, in our town,

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you came and you called on Abby
Larson to sort of get her blessing.

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And so just watching that and
seeing that she was respected,

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she seemed to move through the world just
like any other man and had the respect

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of many men, um, in,
in that town. And so I,

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I always think of, of her, I've
had a lot of good mentors. Again,

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Hillary Clinton, Senator
Gillibrand, Rebecca Tracer, I mean,

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the list goes on and on.

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I'm just so blessed to be surrounded
by brilliant women. Um, but the,

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the person that always just seems
right here, central is a Larson.

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I love it.

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So thank you for introducing us and
thank you so much for taking time out of

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your day in helping us celebrate
and honor Women's History Month.

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And congratulations on all your successes.

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Thank you. And likewise,
really appreciate it.

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Really wanna thank, um,
everybody and you and,

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and just this whole process
has just been amazing.

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And I really want to also just
take a second to sort of drill down

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that one of the most common questions
I get is how did I like build bli?

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And it's just been such an
integral part of my learning,

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my quest for learning and, and my
desire and cherishing relationships.

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So we are really excited to
continue this conversation.

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I am grateful because the people
are sharing their stories,

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their successes, their
ideologies, their north stores.

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So let's be open to learn from 'em and
let's really thank them for being part of

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our world. Thanks everybody.

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This has been a production of
Balancing Life's Issues with your host,

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Wendy Walner, produced
by me, Kai Sorenson.

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Subscribe to the podcast wherever you
listen and you'll get brand new episodes

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00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,880
as they drop. Got an idea for the show.

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Leave a comment or email Kai ka
i balancing life's issues.com.