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Welcome to this guided exercise, the values compass,

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presented by the Journeyman Foundation in partnership with

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Balancing Life's Issues.

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This short reflection is designed to help you

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reconnect with what truly matters, your values, your

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direction, and your purpose as a father, partner,

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and a human being. It's a glimpse into

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the kind of work that men do together

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in journeyman.

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Leading this experience is doctor Jason Frishman,

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a psychologist,

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men's coach, and founder of the Journeyman Foundation.

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Jason has dedicated his career to creating spaces

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where men can step out of isolation and

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into meaningful connection

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with themselves,

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with their families, and with one another.

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Take a moment to settle in. Grab a

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piece of paper and something to write with.

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This is your space to reflect,

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reset and reorient.

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Let's begin.

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In your mind, is there a particular

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tangible

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struggle

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in your

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sort of, we'll call it your whole life,

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right? Like as a

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man,

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partner, father, human,

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employee,

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right? Is there a particular and succinct struggle

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that you're sort of dealing with at this

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point?

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So we're gonna hold that, but we're gonna

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leave it. We're gonna, you know, kinda have

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it hanging out in front of you here,

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and let's leave it. And what we're gonna

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do so first of all, is start with

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a mindfulness exercise. I I have four sort

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of cornerstones

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of the men's work that I do with

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with guys and and

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I like acronyms and and men's work. MENS

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is the acronym.

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The first is

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four cornerstones. I talk about the in and

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the out breath of men's work, m e

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n s. In breath is

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all four of these things as related to

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our inner worlds,

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m e n s. And the out breath

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is us being aware of all four of

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these things in related to the context of

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the people around us. So the four things

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are mindfulness,

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experiences

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that are intentional.

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So action taking

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nourishment

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and social service.

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So

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those four things are, are foundational and underlying

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a lot of the men's work I do,

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but there are kind of eight things right

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there. Those four things for, for me, and

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then my awareness of people around me and

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my context.

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So we'll start with a mindfulness

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exercise just to get ourselves grounded

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with today's experience. So what I want to

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invite you to do is sort of sit

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comfortably, feet on the floor.

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You can close your eyes. You can gaze

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off into the future. It's a very short

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one just because we're gonna get ourselves moving

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to the activity,

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but it's always really nice to start with

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a welcome. So welcome, fathers and fellow travelers.

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You've stepped out of the day to day

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and into the warmth of our inn, of

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our space,

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this quiet corner of your journey where you

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get to breathe and remember who you are

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becoming.

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Let's begin with a few moments of stillness.

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I wanna invite you to sit comfortably,

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your feet planted, your spine

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straight,

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and take

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a slow deep breath in,

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one of those breaths that fills your belly.

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Send the air into your belly and really

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fill it up big.

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Now what we do here is we connect

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our body with our mind that way. You

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feel your full belly.

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So inhale

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with presence

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and exhale

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tension.

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Inhale

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clarity,

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exhale

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doubt.

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Now gently bring to mind

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an image

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of a compass.

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You can imagine it in your hand.

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The center glows warm.

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This is the center of your purpose.

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And the four directions stretch outward

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like a map of your values.

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You are the one holding the compass.

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You are the one choosing your direction.

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You don't have to have all of the

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answers.

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You simply need to stay on the path

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as much as possible

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and move

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towards your treasures.

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Holding onto your compass,

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I want you to take a few deep

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breaths again into your belly.

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Again, bringing back that connection between what you're

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thinking and envisioning and the feeling of your

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body.

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Feel the warmth of the compass in your

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hand, in your mind's eye.

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And when you're ready, you can open your

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eyes and we'll begin.

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Alright. So,

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again, thinking

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of or or holding the the sort

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of the issue to Azure, I want you

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to have that in mind and understand that

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that those things, when they get in the

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way, they're

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an obstacle

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towards you moving towards your treasure. Okay?

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Fatherhood is a journey, you know, and that's

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a foundational belief and an understanding.

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And I think a truth.

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You know, if we think about adventures and

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journeys,

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there's definitions, right? An adventure and a journey,

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we don't know the end of it.

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There's a little bit of risk. There's some

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there are always obstacles. There's, you know, and

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whether it's a grand hero's journey adventure or

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a foundational adventure in journeyman,

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we're always moving towards we're move. We're moving.

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And so

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we get to change and identify the treasures,

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the goals,

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Right? It's a goal or an intention,

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what we're seeking

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in the moment, right, where it may be

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I want my kids to be great humans

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and fly off the head, you know, in

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in the world and be successful and always

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thinking. That's a big one. I'm talking about

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if you could imagine

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what would be a a an in the

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moment, a current

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treasure, a goal or intention or change that

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you're seeking for your own personal fatherhood journey.

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I want you to write that in us

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in the middle of a circle in the

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middle of your paper.

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So draw a circle and then identify your

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treasure.

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This exercise

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I call the values compass.

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Because as you're picking up a lot of

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the metaphor I use is around journeys, adventures,

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traveling,

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and, you know, having a map and compass

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is a pretty important thing for these kinds

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of

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experiences.

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Developing a personal compass, but actually it's developing

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the skill. Because as you know, I've made

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it, you know, you're the issue currently, the

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treasure currently, you can redo this compass over

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and over again. Okay. So it's an important

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skill,

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but even in the real world, like you've

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seen a real compass,

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there's three things that have to be in

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place for it to actually help you, you

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know, not be lost in the woods. Right?

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The first is

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North, South, East and West have to be

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labeled correctly,

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right? If they're, if they're labeled incorrectly, you're

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lost.

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The second is you know how to use

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it, right? Like using a compass and a

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map is not is a skill that's trainable,

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but it's not very intuitive.

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So, you know, having

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labeled correctly

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and

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the skill to use it leads us to

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the third likely most important thing. You have

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to take it out of your pocket more

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often and look at it.

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Right? If you're hiking in the woods and

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you know how to use the compass and

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it's in your pack and you're too lazy

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to get it,

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you're gonna get lost. By doing this kind

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of exercise and holding it and looking at

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it, you're

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it becomes that you're creating not only an

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awareness, but you're actually creating an internal map

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of how to make better choices and how

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to slow yourself down. So what I want

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you to do is coming out of that

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circle,

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draw a simple compass. Right? Four directions. Make

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a line coming out of the top for

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north, bottom for south, and then the sides

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for east and west. And leave some room

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to to to write at each one.

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Okay. And so

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at North,

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you can write

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childhood

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or ancestral

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values.

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At the South side, I want you to

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write partnership

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or relational value.

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On the East side, which is often on

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the right,

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is personal or individual value.

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And then on the West,

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fatherhood

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or legacy values.

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Now notice

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all of those values I wrote as plural.

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We're only gonna pick one for each one,

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but they're plural as an acknowledgement that we

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have many values. We don't have to struggle

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with like finding the four that encapsulate all

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of them. That's really important for this exercise.

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We're looking for values that are specifically

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connected to moving you towards the direction of

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your treasure. So we have lots of values.

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Right? But but if you think about your

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specific treasure and frankly, a little bit about

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the issue that gets in the way of

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it,

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what I want you to do is I'm

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gonna ask a few questions. And and if

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I was doing this with a group longer

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term, this would be a much longer exercise.

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But, you know, we're gonna spend time first

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looking at the center of the circle and

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looking at your treasure.

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Okay?

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And,

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you know,

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this idea of the North will go to

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the childhood and its structural values. I'm gonna

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ask a few questions and then give you

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just a minute or so. You can write

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what comes to mind. You can always change

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this afterwards. But

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if we look at the childhood and ancestral

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values section, the northern direction,

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you know, I want you to think back

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to your childhood or even your family history,

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your cultural history,

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and what values were alive in your upbringing

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or passed down from your family.

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What values served you

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or might you wanna reclaim?

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Things like curiosity, loyalty,

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courage, hard work, and I want you to

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write that at the north point of your

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your compass. So it's a value from your

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childhood or your ancestry,

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culture, family,

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that is specific

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to potentially if you followed it, if you

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lived that value,

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you'd move towards your treasure.

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I like moving clockwise, so we'll go to

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East, which is the personal or individual

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values.

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You know, these are the values you hold

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deeply, separate from any of your other roles

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or relationships. You know, what makes me feel

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like myself?

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What do I stand for just as me?

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Freedom, integrity, creativity, growth, discipline, any things like

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that.

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And again,

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pick core value that if you do express

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inaction,

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leads you towards your treasure and write that

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down on the East.

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Moving to the South, our partnership and relational

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values.

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You know, I want you to think about

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your relationships

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as a partner, friends, any number. And what

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values help you to love well,

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communicate clearly, and stand alongside others?

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Things like compassion or honesty, presence, playfulness,

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devotion,

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service,

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and pick one core partnership

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and write it in the South.

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And then lastly, we're gonna move to the

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West. I know I'm going quickly, but,

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these are your fatherhood or your legacy values.

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Think about your children and the legacy that

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you're shaping.

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What values guide how you parent or leave

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and pass things on?

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Things like wisdom, adventure, accountability,

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grit, gentleness, listening.

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And write one of your core fatherhood values

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in the West.

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So taking a moment, I know you're doing

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it, taking a moment to look at your

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compass, physically look at it. Right? There's a

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tangible thing. You now have a map.

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Right? Your treasure's at the center and four

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values that can guide you towards it.

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So at the very simplest, which is not

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simple at all, but in those moments when

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we are having struggles with budgeting time, when

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we're struggling with fuses and anger and irritability

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and all those things

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with practice of mindfulness and all sorts of

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things, if we stop,

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you know, and give ourselves

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even a fraction of a moment

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to think about, look at and notice these

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four values and check your map.

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It's almost like, Oh, if I choose to

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yell or be irritated,

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is that putting me in the direction of

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one of my values? Or if I choose

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to do this and it gives you a

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directional, it gives you an element of, oh,

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let me pull this out along my way.

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Now that's harder than it sounds, but it's

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a great place to go. I want you

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to look at those four values.

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Choose one value that you would work to

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deepen

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this

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week and because values are often

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femoral and vague, they're like, oh, I value

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the environment. I vile value. I value peace.

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I value, you know, which are lovely, but

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there's, they're kind of vague.

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What we're looking at is how do we

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move from a value to sort of a

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vision and, and, and to ship, you know,

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which then creates meaningful stories, meaningful experiences and

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relations.

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So for one week, one value that in

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this week you're going to deepen. How will

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I practice this value with my kids? How

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will I practice it with my children? How

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will I have that practice it with myself?

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And even

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take some time? And we'd often do this

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right now, but think about what would be

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a specific

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action to do. What would be as tangible,

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specific thing that you can do to live

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those values? Okay.

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Don't have to think about that or go

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there now, but that's, that's sort of your

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homework.

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And then lastly, what, what I want to

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invite you to do, the last thing we're

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going to do with this experience is, and

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because this is a big part about bringing

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back

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community and togetherness and those kinds of things

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is

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first, you don't have to do this right

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now, but take a picture of your compass.

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So you have it on your phone. You're

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able to access it more readily.

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If you so choose, share it with your

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partners,

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which then I imagine will bring up some

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conversation.

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If your kids are old enough to understand,

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you can share it with your kids.

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And if you, you know, like in our

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men's group, in the, in the work that

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I do with journeyman,

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we share it with one another.

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One of the things I'm I'm working on

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is creating sort of a bank of values

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so that, you know, Journeymen can go and

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see, oh my gosh. Look at all these

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values from other men

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who are on this path. We can they

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they're almost like

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hareons or blazes along the way on the

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trail that men can leave for one another.

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And that helps us to rewrite and redevelop

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new narratives and stories for men and thought

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of it. So I would urge you to

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take a picture of it. I'd urge you

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to share it with one another, with other

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people, because the stories that about ourselves that

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we share

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direct the reality of who we become.

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Thanks for joining us for that practice.

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If it resonated with you and you're curious

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00:16:15,245 --> 00:16:17,085
to learn more about Jason's work or the

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00:16:17,085 --> 00:16:21,024
community he's building, head over to journeymanfoundation.com

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because every journey is better with support.

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Thanks for listening to this is your job

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00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,870
now, produced by me, Kai. If this episode

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00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:36,549
made you think or made you feel, we

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00:16:36,549 --> 00:16:38,389
hope it also made you realize you don't

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00:16:38,389 --> 00:16:40,230
have to figure this out all alone. Leadership

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00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:42,565
today is about presence, not perfection. To learn

433
00:16:42,565 --> 00:16:44,884
more, follow Wendy Wohner on LinkedIn, subscribe to

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00:16:44,884 --> 00:16:47,204
Balancing Life's Issues on YouTube, or stream the

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00:16:47,204 --> 00:16:49,365
podcast wherever you listen. Because if you're leading

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00:16:49,365 --> 00:16:51,845
people, this is your job now. Anything else

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00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:52,664
to add, Miles?