1 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,040 You only got so much energy as a 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,599 person, and we want everyone to feel as 3 00:00:07,599 --> 00:00:09,759 though they're giving their best their best. Okay. 4 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:11,759 Stop. Stop. Redo that answer. I don't care 5 00:00:11,759 --> 00:00:13,445 about the person. I only care about Johnny 6 00:00:13,445 --> 00:00:13,945 Brook. 7 00:00:16,804 --> 00:00:19,364 Hello. I'm Kai Sorensen, director of podcast at 8 00:00:19,364 --> 00:00:21,445 Balancing Life's Issues, and welcome to This Is 9 00:00:21,445 --> 00:00:23,844 Your Job Now because leadership today isn't just 10 00:00:23,844 --> 00:00:25,559 about what you do, it's about how you 11 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:28,120 show up. In this episode, Wendy Wallner, CEO 12 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,280 of Balancing Life's Issues, opens up with a 13 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,840 powerful reflection on why caring about pride month 14 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,000 isn't optional for leaders. Then you'll hear from 15 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,719 Jon Ebron, a retired service member and leadership 16 00:00:37,719 --> 00:00:39,625 coach who shares what it was like to 17 00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:41,625 serve under don't ask, don't tell and why 18 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,405 visibility at work still matters. 19 00:00:43,704 --> 00:00:45,784 And finally, we bring you inside a real 20 00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:48,424 coaching session between Wendy and John, a raw 21 00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:51,545 conversation about identity, impact, and what it truly 22 00:00:51,545 --> 00:00:53,725 means to lead with empathy. Let's get started. 23 00:00:57,119 --> 00:00:58,799 Hi. So let me take you back to 24 00:00:58,799 --> 00:01:01,439 senior prom, I know, a few years ago. 25 00:01:01,439 --> 00:01:04,079 But I had the most amazing prom date. 26 00:01:04,079 --> 00:01:05,599 I'm sure many of you can relate. He 27 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,734 was charming, adorable, super smart. I mean, kind 28 00:01:08,734 --> 00:01:10,255 of the guy that everybody wants to go 29 00:01:10,255 --> 00:01:12,415 with, and we had an amazing time. And 30 00:01:12,415 --> 00:01:14,255 we stopped by his house to get some 31 00:01:14,255 --> 00:01:15,775 change of clothes because we're gonna do the 32 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,775 beach thing, or maybe some of you did 33 00:01:17,775 --> 00:01:19,855 the beach thing afterwards. And sitting on the 34 00:01:19,855 --> 00:01:22,319 stoop was a young man who was very, 35 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,640 very upset. And I came to learn that 36 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,959 that was my date's boyfriend. My date was 37 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,359 gay. This was one of my closest friends 38 00:01:29,359 --> 00:01:31,280 in the world, and he did not feel 39 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,719 like he could tell me. As a matter 40 00:01:32,719 --> 00:01:34,560 of fact, decades later, he's never come to 41 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:35,140 a reunion. 42 00:01:35,439 --> 00:01:38,055 Really, we barely speak. And he really feels 43 00:01:38,055 --> 00:01:39,674 that his entire high school 44 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,495 was a lie. It was a part of 45 00:01:41,495 --> 00:01:43,174 him that just he was never able to 46 00:01:43,174 --> 00:01:45,734 talk about. That story stayed with me. And 47 00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:48,375 then years later, when I ended up getting 48 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:51,000 divorced, I remember my boss saying to me, 49 00:01:51,079 --> 00:01:52,920 when you wanna just leave your wedding picture 50 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,640 up, like, it's a better look for HR. 51 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,040 Like, it's a better look if you're married, 52 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,719 more stable, more secure. Like, basically lie about 53 00:02:01,719 --> 00:02:03,979 who you are. Well, these stories 54 00:02:04,314 --> 00:02:07,114 are why I'm so excited on This Is 55 00:02:07,114 --> 00:02:10,094 Your Job Now, our brand new launch, 56 00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:11,215 redone 57 00:02:11,754 --> 00:02:14,074 podcast to tell you you have a different 58 00:02:14,074 --> 00:02:16,474 type of job today. You need to find 59 00:02:16,474 --> 00:02:18,014 out all and everything 60 00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:20,969 about the team that works for you. We 61 00:02:20,969 --> 00:02:23,050 are doing a huge shout out to pride 62 00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:25,550 month because now is the time 63 00:02:26,169 --> 00:02:28,010 to address this as a leader. As you 64 00:02:28,010 --> 00:02:30,010 listen to Jon Ebraham, I want you to 65 00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:32,830 invite you to realize what a gem, 66 00:02:33,129 --> 00:02:36,134 what a absolute gem John is on our 67 00:02:36,134 --> 00:02:38,615 team and how incredibly fortunate that I got 68 00:02:38,615 --> 00:02:40,775 to know all of John, not just part 69 00:02:40,775 --> 00:02:43,094 of John, and how difficult it is for 70 00:02:43,094 --> 00:02:45,974 someone who was really wired on the don't 71 00:02:45,974 --> 00:02:47,974 ask, don't tell, as you'll come to learn, 72 00:02:47,974 --> 00:02:49,354 as a black, gay, 73 00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:50,659 incredibly 74 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:51,620 loyal 75 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,300 part of our services, 76 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,240 has learned to share who he really is 77 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,719 and why that's so important. So please listen 78 00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:01,060 to us. Follow us on YouTube. 79 00:03:01,439 --> 00:03:04,435 Connect with me on LinkedIn, Wendy Wallner. Wherever 80 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,995 you listen to podcasts, please go in luck 81 00:03:06,995 --> 00:03:09,555 for This Is Your Job Now. I can't 82 00:03:09,555 --> 00:03:10,775 wait to hear from you. 83 00:03:15,074 --> 00:03:17,439 Hi. My name is Jon Ebron. I'm the 84 00:03:17,439 --> 00:03:20,259 founder of Ebron Coaching and Consulting, a leadership 85 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,180 and personal development firm 86 00:03:22,479 --> 00:03:25,859 helping people unlock their full potential through transformative 87 00:03:26,079 --> 00:03:29,219 coaching and strategic training. Now as an entrepreneur 88 00:03:29,655 --> 00:03:32,215 and a retired combat service member and a 89 00:03:32,215 --> 00:03:33,754 proud member of the LGBTQIA 90 00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:37,275 plus community, I'm thrilled to have the opportunity 91 00:03:37,414 --> 00:03:38,074 to discuss 92 00:03:38,375 --> 00:03:41,334 the importance of visibility during Pride Month. I 93 00:03:41,334 --> 00:03:43,655 want to share a personal story that helped 94 00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:44,715 shape my understanding 95 00:03:45,450 --> 00:03:46,670 of why visibility 96 00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:49,069 matters, especially for leaders 97 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:52,330 and managers. During my twenty years of service 98 00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:53,870 in the United States Army, 99 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,969 sixteen of those years were spent under the 100 00:03:56,969 --> 00:03:59,834 don't ask, don't tell policy. This policy 101 00:04:00,294 --> 00:04:02,074 meant that I had to conceal 102 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,854 a fundamental part of who I am. And 103 00:04:04,854 --> 00:04:07,574 the pressure and the isolation of hiding my 104 00:04:07,574 --> 00:04:08,074 identity 105 00:04:08,534 --> 00:04:10,854 took a toll not only on my mental 106 00:04:10,854 --> 00:04:13,870 health, but also on my ability to serve 107 00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:16,189 at my best. The lack of visibility and 108 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,730 the fear of being discovered 109 00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:21,550 created an environment where I couldn't fully bring 110 00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:24,269 my whole self to my role. This is 111 00:04:24,269 --> 00:04:28,414 why visibility matters. For one, it fosters an 112 00:04:28,414 --> 00:04:30,754 environment of authenticity and trust. 113 00:04:31,055 --> 00:04:33,694 When people can be open about who they 114 00:04:33,694 --> 00:04:36,034 are, they can contribute more effectively 115 00:04:36,414 --> 00:04:37,314 and more creatively. 116 00:04:37,854 --> 00:04:38,354 Visibility 117 00:04:38,735 --> 00:04:40,514 helps dismantle stereotypes 118 00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:42,330 and builds empathy, 119 00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:45,210 allowing teams to function more cohesively. 120 00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:47,050 As leaders and managers, 121 00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:49,449 embracing and promoting visibility 122 00:04:50,069 --> 00:04:52,650 is not just about supporting the LGBTQIA 123 00:04:53,430 --> 00:04:56,915 plus community. It's about fostering a workplace where 124 00:04:56,915 --> 00:05:00,274 everyone feels safe and valued. So as you 125 00:05:00,274 --> 00:05:01,735 can see, your leadership, 126 00:05:02,194 --> 00:05:03,175 your influence, 127 00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,714 it really makes a big difference in the 128 00:05:05,714 --> 00:05:06,935 lives of your employees. 129 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,370 Now for me, 130 00:05:08,769 --> 00:05:10,610 after the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, 131 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,089 I was approached by a local newspaper to 132 00:05:13,089 --> 00:05:14,229 share my experiences 133 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:15,990 of serving out proudly 134 00:05:16,689 --> 00:05:19,490 six months after the repeal. This was a 135 00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:21,794 huge thing for me. It essentially 136 00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:24,574 was my coming out story, and I was 137 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,894 fortunate to have a leader who took a 138 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,514 strong supportive stance. 139 00:05:28,814 --> 00:05:29,634 Now despite 140 00:05:30,014 --> 00:05:33,794 significant opposition, my commander stood firm. Many advising 141 00:05:33,935 --> 00:05:36,470 him to keep me closeted for the sake 142 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,610 of avoiding controversy. 143 00:05:38,149 --> 00:05:41,029 But instead, my commander made it clear. It 144 00:05:41,029 --> 00:05:43,990 is our job to support our people so 145 00:05:43,990 --> 00:05:46,790 that they can accomplish the mission. With this 146 00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:48,089 unwavering support, 147 00:05:48,464 --> 00:05:51,205 it not only helped me embrace my identity 148 00:05:51,425 --> 00:05:51,925 openly, 149 00:05:52,305 --> 00:05:54,805 but it also set a powerful message 150 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,805 throughout the unit. It demonstrated 151 00:05:57,185 --> 00:06:00,165 that inclusive leadership isn't just about policy. 152 00:06:00,545 --> 00:06:02,785 It's about taking a stand for the people 153 00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:05,370 that you lead and creating a space where 154 00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:08,810 everyone can thrive. So how can you, as 155 00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:12,029 a leader, promote visibility and inclusion in your 156 00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:12,750 organization? 157 00:06:13,209 --> 00:06:16,649 Start by creating a culture of openness and 158 00:06:16,649 --> 00:06:17,149 respect. 159 00:06:17,615 --> 00:06:20,115 Encourage dialogue and listen actively 160 00:06:20,574 --> 00:06:21,955 to your team's experiences 161 00:06:22,335 --> 00:06:23,955 and stand up against discrimination. 162 00:06:24,574 --> 00:06:25,074 Representation 163 00:06:25,535 --> 00:06:26,035 matters 164 00:06:26,335 --> 00:06:29,535 and having a visible role model within your 165 00:06:29,535 --> 00:06:33,089 organization can inspire others to be their authentic 166 00:06:33,089 --> 00:06:35,730 selves. So as we celebrate Pride in all 167 00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:37,029 its fun and festivities, 168 00:06:37,569 --> 00:06:40,769 let's remember that visibility is more than just 169 00:06:40,769 --> 00:06:41,430 a concept. 170 00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,350 It's a commitment to inclusivity 171 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:44,709 and respect. 172 00:06:45,074 --> 00:06:47,074 So take a moment to reflect on how 173 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,454 you can support visibility 174 00:06:48,914 --> 00:06:51,975 in your teams and lead by example because 175 00:06:52,754 --> 00:06:53,974 this is your job 176 00:06:54,354 --> 00:06:54,854 now. 177 00:06:59,759 --> 00:07:01,240 of all, let me just start with a 178 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,939 huge thank you. Thank you. 179 00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:06,220 Tons of tons of gratitude and permission 180 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:07,340 to 181 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,319 go into a little bit of a coaching 182 00:07:09,319 --> 00:07:12,360 session for about four minutes. John, you are 183 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,460 one of the most valuable assets 184 00:07:15,305 --> 00:07:17,084 to my world. I'm incredibly 185 00:07:18,185 --> 00:07:20,185 grateful for the impact that you have on 186 00:07:20,185 --> 00:07:22,105 our clients and our world and getting to 187 00:07:22,105 --> 00:07:22,764 know you. 188 00:07:23,305 --> 00:07:24,904 But let's just take a journey for a 189 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,270 When you came on, as open and honest 190 00:07:28,270 --> 00:07:30,350 as you were, you didn't share right away 191 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,189 on day one, minute one that you happen 192 00:07:32,189 --> 00:07:34,689 to be gay. Correct? Correct. Yes. Why? 193 00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:38,189 Condition. You know, being in the military, you 194 00:07:38,189 --> 00:07:40,064 just don't talk about it. And being in 195 00:07:40,064 --> 00:07:42,384 the black community, you don't talk about it. 196 00:07:42,384 --> 00:07:45,345 Right? Oh, interesting. So you got this, what 197 00:07:45,345 --> 00:07:47,504 we call in the dating world, John, some 198 00:07:47,504 --> 00:07:48,964 baggage going on. Yeah. 199 00:07:50,064 --> 00:07:50,564 Absolutely. 200 00:07:50,944 --> 00:07:53,685 Okay. Absolutely. So it took quite some time 201 00:07:53,930 --> 00:07:56,410 for me to learn that about you. And 202 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:57,550 what would you say 203 00:07:57,930 --> 00:08:00,410 after we found out this really important personal 204 00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:02,589 information happened to your career here 205 00:08:02,889 --> 00:08:05,290 at BLI? What what happened after we learned 206 00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:07,035 so much more about you? What did you 207 00:08:07,035 --> 00:08:10,235 notice? Well, I I my opportunities exploded. Right? 208 00:08:10,235 --> 00:08:11,675 Wait. What? Say that one more time. What 209 00:08:11,675 --> 00:08:14,314 what happened? My opportunities exploded. Yeah. Well, just 210 00:08:14,314 --> 00:08:15,675 say that one more time for a little 211 00:08:15,675 --> 00:08:18,814 blah blah blah. What happened? My opportunities exploded. 212 00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:19,375 Absolutely. 213 00:08:19,789 --> 00:08:21,410 So for those people listening 214 00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:24,209 about our leadership job and why it changes, 215 00:08:24,589 --> 00:08:25,490 when we learn, 216 00:08:26,829 --> 00:08:29,629 air quotes, personal information, the world can sometimes 217 00:08:29,629 --> 00:08:32,269 open up. Absolutely. Right. Right. You get to 218 00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:34,434 breathe because you don't have to expend so 219 00:08:34,434 --> 00:08:36,834 much energy holding back part of yourself and 220 00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:39,875 being a 100% effective, you know? So if 221 00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:42,274 you were to critique me, the good, the 222 00:08:42,274 --> 00:08:43,954 bad, the ugly as a leader, what do 223 00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:46,274 you think Wendy did well as a CEO? 224 00:08:46,274 --> 00:08:47,634 What do you think she could have done 225 00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:49,269 better? And And what do you think she 226 00:08:49,269 --> 00:08:50,170 should work on? 227 00:08:50,629 --> 00:08:51,129 Well, 228 00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:54,710 what went well was the overwhelming acceptance. It 229 00:08:54,710 --> 00:08:56,230 was almost like a wave. It almost knocked 230 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:58,730 me over. Right? Because I wasn't expecting that. 231 00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:00,870 I'm at the point now where I would 232 00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:02,964 just say it and not know what is 233 00:09:02,964 --> 00:09:04,644 gonna come from it. Right? So I don't 234 00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:07,764 have an expectation to be welcomed, you know, 235 00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,605 or anything like that. So that was amazing. 236 00:09:09,605 --> 00:09:11,605 Right? I think we got right to work 237 00:09:11,605 --> 00:09:14,004 though. Right? So I still felt like the 238 00:09:14,004 --> 00:09:14,504 person, 239 00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:18,910 was still was pushed aside but from a 240 00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:21,470 different angle. Right? Most of my time, being 241 00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:22,990 pushed aside because we don't want anything to 242 00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:24,750 do with that. And then I felt like 243 00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:26,509 the person got pushed aside because we could 244 00:09:26,509 --> 00:09:28,210 do so much with that. Right? 245 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:29,475 So, 246 00:09:31,075 --> 00:09:32,514 in in both sides of two sides of 247 00:09:32,514 --> 00:09:34,274 the same coin, I still felt a little 248 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,654 bit not seen 249 00:09:36,195 --> 00:09:37,495 Mhmm. Because 250 00:09:38,115 --> 00:09:39,715 of for a different reason, I guess you 251 00:09:39,715 --> 00:09:40,995 could say. So it sounds to me like 252 00:09:40,995 --> 00:09:42,934 I still have work to do. We all. 253 00:09:44,035 --> 00:09:45,769 Yeah. Alright. So and if we were to 254 00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:47,129 sum this up, you know, one of the 255 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:48,429 things I think we're learning, 256 00:09:49,529 --> 00:09:52,190 as we listen is it's not getting easier. 257 00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,669 It's getting harder. Yeah. Absolutely. 258 00:09:55,209 --> 00:09:58,054 So in the twelve seconds I'm about to 259 00:09:58,054 --> 00:09:59,495 give you, John because that's all we get 260 00:09:59,495 --> 00:10:01,674 the listeners for, about twelve seconds. 261 00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:02,954 Drum roll. 262 00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:05,414 The most important reason that we need to 263 00:10:05,414 --> 00:10:07,334 care about Pride Month is 264 00:10:08,534 --> 00:10:11,414 The most important reason we care about Pride 265 00:10:11,414 --> 00:10:11,914 Month, 266 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:15,409 again, from my perspective is you only got 267 00:10:15,409 --> 00:10:17,110 so much energy as a person. 268 00:10:17,889 --> 00:10:20,209 And we want everyone to feel as though 269 00:10:20,209 --> 00:10:22,610 they're giving their best, their Okay. Stop. Stop. 270 00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,370 Redo that answer. I don't care about the 271 00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:26,949 person. I only care about Johnny Brum. Okay. 272 00:10:27,009 --> 00:10:27,509 Seconds, 273 00:10:28,154 --> 00:10:30,894 I'm your boss. Let's pretend I'm your boss. 274 00:10:31,034 --> 00:10:33,034 Why should I care that you're gay? You 275 00:10:33,034 --> 00:10:35,434 should care that I'm gay because part that's 276 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,514 part of me that makes up the the 277 00:10:37,514 --> 00:10:40,495 motivation behind why I do what I do. 278 00:10:40,529 --> 00:10:42,290 And if I can't tap into that, I 279 00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:44,629 can't bring anything to you. Perfect. 280 00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:45,910 Done. 281 00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:49,009 John, I'm saying that the all love in 282 00:10:49,009 --> 00:10:51,570 my heart, you are so talented and you 283 00:10:51,570 --> 00:10:53,330 are so gifted and you get into your 284 00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:54,070 own way, 285 00:10:55,625 --> 00:10:57,865 and then you're boring. Okay. And I don't 286 00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,705 want to waste anybody's time. I this is 287 00:10:59,705 --> 00:11:01,384 what I'm learning the same thing as you, 288 00:11:01,384 --> 00:11:04,105 right? You know, you want this is what 289 00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:06,105 you want. You want people to go who 290 00:11:06,105 --> 00:11:07,544 who is he? I gotta go I gotta 291 00:11:07,544 --> 00:11:10,149 Google him. Instead of what and believe me, 292 00:11:10,149 --> 00:11:11,750 I'm giving you the same feedback that my 293 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:14,070 coaches are giving Meg. You shouldn't ever have 294 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:16,710 to introduce yourself. You should be sent a 295 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,549 splash right in the beginning that they wanna 296 00:11:18,549 --> 00:11:19,529 know who you are. 297 00:11:30,195 --> 00:11:31,955 Thanks for listening to This Is Your Job 298 00:11:31,955 --> 00:11:34,675 Now produced by me, Kai. If this episode 299 00:11:34,675 --> 00:11:36,274 made you think or made you feel, we 300 00:11:36,274 --> 00:11:38,139 hope it also made you realize you don't 301 00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:39,980 have to figure this out all alone. Leadership 302 00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:42,299 today is about presence, not perfection. To learn 303 00:11:42,299 --> 00:11:44,620 more, follow Wendy Wohner on LinkedIn, subscribe to 304 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,940 Balancing Life's Issues on YouTube, or stream the 305 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,188 podcast wherever you listen. Because if you're leading 306 00:11:49,188 --> 00:11:51,589 people, this is your job now. Anything else 307 00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:52,329 to add, Miles?