1 00:00:00,070 --> 00:00:00,903 . 2 00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:08,510 Welcome to Balancing Life's Issues. As always, I'm your host Kai, 3 00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:12,270 and I'm here with c e o of b l I, Wendy Wollner. How are you today? Had. 4 00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:13,350 A good run this morning. Thanks, Ross. 5 00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:15,430 Oh, nice. I'm not gonna ask you your minute. Mile. There. 6 00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:16,270 You go. Moving. 7 00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:19,470 On. So, today's really exciting because, you know, 8 00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:23,950 we're talking about going back to school. Uh, you have raised three. 9 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:26,550 Can you kind of speak to some of those anxieties getting back to school? 10 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:30,350 Yeah. You know, I think the first thing that's so important is, you know, 11 00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:32,550 the media gives us different messages, right? 12 00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:35,870 So you've got the parents who can't wait to get their kids out, 13 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:39,150 and you've got those, those party commercials that are like, yay, 14 00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,870 the kids are gone. I never felt like that. Um, 15 00:00:42,030 --> 00:00:45,390 I felt very melancholy about my kids going off to school. Um, 16 00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:48,230 I certainly felt very anxious. I felt the financial stress, 17 00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:51,030 and I learned very quickly not to get wrapped up in the back to school. 18 00:00:51,530 --> 00:00:53,630 You don't have to buy everything new. Right. 19 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:56,110 I think what's really important about the messaging is to, 20 00:00:56,950 --> 00:00:58,190 I love school and the, 21 00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:02,750 the most important message is this should be filled with passion and 22 00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:03,910 excitement. Mm-hmm. 23 00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:07,110 back to school should be that really exciting time, 24 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,990 and that's the energy we wanna bring into our home. 25 00:01:10,790 --> 00:01:14,110 Absolutely. And, you know, as one with a seven week old and my mind, 26 00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,630 I'm fast forwarding to four year old miles. Yeah. 27 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:20,710 Getting ready to go to school for the first time. So, you know, ideas like, 28 00:01:20,710 --> 00:01:24,790 you know, sleep, you know, eating, um, you know, you, you had mentioned it, 29 00:01:24,930 --> 00:01:27,710 you know, what's necessary versus what we want in shopping, you know, 30 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:28,870 all that kind of stuff. Yeah. 31 00:01:29,030 --> 00:01:32,590 I think what's really, I mean, look, let me for a minute, dream here, 32 00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:34,550 or if I was gonna dream big, and I, I, 33 00:01:34,710 --> 00:01:38,310 I hope parents haven't let it get totally out of control. Right. 34 00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:41,150 I hope the kids have had some type of bedtime all summer long, 35 00:01:41,170 --> 00:01:45,270 but if they haven't, you know, it's really important to rip off the bandaid and, 36 00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:48,670 um, and, and send your children to school fully charged. Mm-hmm. , 37 00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:51,430 we talk about that charge idea all the time. Right. That. 38 00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:53,390 Body battery we were talking about last week. Yeah. 39 00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:56,910 You know, I was a teacher and I can tell you that I am not a boring teacher, 40 00:01:57,190 --> 00:01:58,710 , and if you're falling asleep in my class. 41 00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:00,190 I don't believe that you're not. 42 00:02:00,190 --> 00:02:03,430 A boring teacher. And I've taught kindergarten, I've taught fourth grade, 43 00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:07,870 I've taught high school. The reality is our job, primary job as, 44 00:02:08,010 --> 00:02:11,910 as a family member is to get our children excited from the minute they walk in 45 00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:14,990 that program. Mm-hmm. the, the door to the minute they leave. 46 00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:16,510 So they should be well fed. 47 00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:19,030 Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, it is exciting, 48 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:22,550 but we do know what we've experienced the last few years. It can be scary. Yeah. 49 00:02:22,550 --> 00:02:25,310 There can be a lot of anxiety. Covid is still out there. 50 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:29,270 There is a resurgence currently. Yeah. Um, so, you know, 51 00:02:29,270 --> 00:02:33,270 what I wanted to do was I wanted to bring on an expert, like we love to do. 52 00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:35,790 Love it. Um, her name's Liz Buffington. 53 00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:39,430 She's a lecturer at San Diego State University. She's a certified teacher. 54 00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:42,390 She has a master's in digital education and leadership, 55 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,110 and she's working on her PhD and, you know, 56 00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:48,510 I'm just gonna bring her on to talk to us and parents, my child, 57 00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:50,350 soon to be at this age, um, 58 00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:53,310 just about how to navigate all these things we've been talking about, 59 00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:56,390 but especially, uh, the anxieties of going back to school when, 60 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,030 when we might be scared to go back to school. 61 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:01,800 Yeah. I love it. Thanks so much. I think we really all need to embrace, learn, 62 00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:06,360 and be the best version and really give our kids every opportunity to make this 63 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,320 the best year possible. 64 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,840 Okay. Welcome to the program, Liz. 65 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:19,560 I am so excited to talk to you about getting back to school for our parents. 66 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,560 How are you doing today? 67 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,000 I am great. Thank you so much. How are you? 68 00:03:23,340 --> 00:03:26,600 I'm doing well. I mean, we were just talking about how our seven week old and. 69 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,800 Before you know it, I'll be going into their first day of school. That's. 70 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,200 What everybody keeps telling me. Right. It does feel like life is moving. 71 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:38,520 I thought life was moving quick before, but now it's just flying by. So Yeah. 72 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,440 We really are enjoying the moment. 73 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:43,680 Yeah. Sometimes the days are really long, 74 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,520 but I find that the years are incredibly short. . 75 00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:51,600 Love that poetic. I liked that. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so hey, 76 00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,200 we're here to talk about getting kids back to school. Right. 77 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,920 There's a lot of anxiety with that, 78 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,080 especially what we've experienced the last few years. I know myself, 79 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:04,200 I was a child of summer and I remember vividly the night before school I wasn't 80 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,280 able to sleep. Right. That transition time was always difficult for me. 81 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:10,120 But before you jump in, why don't you just tell us a little bit about, you know, 82 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,840 who you are and your background and what you do. 83 00:04:12,630 --> 00:04:15,440 Yeah. So my name is Liz Buffington. Um, 84 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:19,960 I'm a parent of, um, two, um, 85 00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:22,240 and an educator of many. Um, 86 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:27,080 I have taught in the K through 12, um, arena and, 87 00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:30,840 and currently teach at San Diego State University in the College of Education. 88 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:35,880 Back to school is a big part of our life 89 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:37,400 here in my household. 90 00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:39,640 So I guess as a teacher and you, 91 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,320 you think about this topic going back to school, you know, 92 00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:46,000 the challenge is 10 years ago, you know, to a few years ago, to today. What, 93 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,360 what's kind of top of mind for you? 94 00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:51,320 So it, a lot of it's the same. Um, and a lot of it's so different. 95 00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:54,320 We're in that vortex, if you will, of um, 96 00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:59,480 what was even pre covid 10 years ago to our existence now. 97 00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:03,840 Um, but some of the same things continue to happen. Um, you know, 98 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:07,040 that first day, everyone's very excited and ready to go. 99 00:05:07,630 --> 00:05:11,200 They can also be nervous. Um, they can have a lot of anxiety. 100 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,920 We are creatures of habit. And, um, 101 00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:19,520 there's a lot of research about when students come back into school, 102 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:24,840 getting back into the routine is part of creating an environment where 103 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:29,840 they can feel supported so that they can do their best learning. And as parents, 104 00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:34,280 we have a big role to play in that. Um, and it's, 105 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:39,520 it's a big responsibility. Um, and it, it takes a lot of effort on our part. 106 00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:44,280 Helping transition into a new rhythm. So, 107 00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:47,040 so I guess when we look at maybe just sleep, right? 108 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,960 'cause that was the hard one for me, um, as a kid, like, 109 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,000 I remember not sleeping well during times of transition. 110 00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:57,760 How can a parent help prepare their kid for we're waking up at seven now, 111 00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:00,160 or like, you know, whatever that new rhythm's gonna be. Yeah. 112 00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:03,800 We, we deal with that a lot in our household. Um, 113 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,200 we have morning people and not so morning people. Um, 114 00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:11,840 helping students time themselves, reminding them of, 115 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:16,960 of the routine of the morning is one way that we can 116 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,520 help, um, start the morning off, right? 117 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,760 We find that if students have had a rough morning, 118 00:06:22,990 --> 00:06:27,360 they will come into school and it's hard for them to not carry that, 119 00:06:27,940 --> 00:06:30,200 um, hard morning with them. Um, 120 00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:34,560 and so it's helping them to take responsibility of their time. 121 00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:35,520 In fact, 122 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:39,160 I find that the students that are able to cope more with routine changes are the 123 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:43,720 ones that have agency and, um, a say in part of the routine. 124 00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:48,400 So maybe they help make their lunch the night before, or they say, no, 125 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:53,040 I really wanna have school lunch because it takes care of one 126 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,240 logistical, um, concern. Takes that off the table. 127 00:06:56,370 --> 00:06:59,400 These are the areas that you get to make decisions in when it comes. 128 00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:00,960 Yeah. You get to make a choice, right? 129 00:07:00,990 --> 00:07:02,440 It's your life mm-hmm. . Um, 130 00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:06,160 but this is where it's age appropriate and family appropriate for you to make 131 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:06,993 this choice. 132 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,160 Absolutely. And, you know, all that is so well said. And, you know, with, 133 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,840 with a seven week old on my end, 134 00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:16,240 I'm kind of fast forwarding to what four year old miles is gonna be struggling 135 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,960 with, you know, that night before school. 136 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:21,120 And speaking of one thing that's been on my mind as, as a, 137 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:25,160 a parent with a young one who will eventually have a phone, like social media, 138 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:28,320 um, what are, like, we all know the dangers of it. 139 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:32,560 We all know the challenges with it. We all know that we have it. Um, 140 00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:36,680 so can you talk to us about, as teachers this year, you know, 141 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:41,120 what are some things to look out for or how can we start to set some better 142 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,560 boundaries when it comes to social media this school year? That is. 143 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:47,400 Such an important part. And, um, as an educator, 144 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:52,800 the most important person in your child's social media life 145 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:57,720 is the parent guardian adults modeling for students what appropriate 146 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:02,120 social media looks like that face-to-face and human to human experience is lost. 147 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:05,640 And so what social media, um, 148 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:09,440 could result in that's positive and negative. 149 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:13,600 Social media is instant gratification. It's like a sugar rush, 150 00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:18,640 and that is why it is. So, to be perfectly honest, addictive, 151 00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:24,040 they want to see each other's lives and, and see, um, 152 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:29,160 you know, and, and feel that connection. We saw that after Covid, 153 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:29,900 um, 154 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:34,800 in a very big way because there was a lack of connection and 155 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:39,800 social connection for our young people that really has shifted the 156 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:44,520 mental health support that we are preparing for and giving in our schools. 157 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:47,200 Involve them in decisions about social media. 158 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:50,360 So if they're not ready for a social media account, 159 00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:52,160 you are not ready for them to have that. 160 00:08:52,430 --> 00:08:56,880 Give them a say about what you put in your social media when it involves them. 161 00:08:57,380 --> 00:09:00,760 Do they get to have their picture on your Facebook? Um, 162 00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:05,640 give them that agency and, and remind them that social media, um, 163 00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:07,880 there's, there's a layer of consent to it. 164 00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:11,320 You know, just with the consent piece. I mean, that goes as an adult as well, 165 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:14,600 right? I do know, I know. I have to let my wife know, Hey, by the way, 166 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,280 this is a really cute photo. Like, can I post this? And sometimes she says, no. 167 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,640 And like, that shouldn't be taken personally. 168 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:25,440 But I love the idea that a child should have agency in that fun family vacation 169 00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:28,680 photo they took, and if they want to be on social media Yeah. 170 00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:32,000 And, and then that becomes the norm for them. 171 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,680 And with that norm B becomes a layer of respect. 172 00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:39,120 Yeah, absolutely. Respect foundation. Yeah. 173 00:09:39,140 --> 00:09:42,160 That's the biggest part of going back to school modeling. 174 00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:46,480 What respect looks like in your family, in your household? Um, 175 00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:48,120 respect in the morning is important. 176 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:52,360 We have a lot of conversations in my house about respect in the morning . 177 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,320 I'm not a morning person. Uh, 178 00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:00,800 I had had to learn, um, where to stay quiet, 179 00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:05,040 where not to talk. Um, but what's funny is once the child's around, it's like, 180 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,120 well, I'm, I'm not, I'm not as grumpy anymore in the morning, 181 00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,560 but I'm sure that will change. 182 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:14,320 It goes without saying what we as a world experienced over the last few years. 183 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:18,000 And, you know, I think maybe especially, you know, 184 00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:21,920 kids going into remote scenarios and losing that in-person connection. 185 00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:24,400 And when they came back, uh, 186 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,360 they had lost these social skills and you know, 187 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,440 a seventh grader was acting like a fifth grader in that classroom, right? 188 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,240 Because they didn't have that progression. 189 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,560 So that didn't go away and it didn't fix itself. Right? 190 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:39,600 We are in the middle of what some are calling like the next mental health 191 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,160 epidemic of our children's mental health. 192 00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:47,240 So how can we support our kids who are probably 193 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,880 nervous going back? Is Covid going to come back? I mean, 194 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,720 there is a resurgence right now. Um, I'm anxious about getting sick. 195 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,280 I'm anxious about having to go remote again. Like, 196 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,400 can you talk to us about how we can be communicating with our kids about, 197 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,720 I don't know, I guess the acceptance of it all. It's. 198 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,000 A really good question. Um, you're right. Covid is not going away. 199 00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:10,960 There's a resurgence. Um, I just got a email from a colleague who said, 200 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:11,740 guess what? 201 00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:14,520 I'm not going to be at our orientation tomorrow for all of our new student 202 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,560 teachers. Mm-hmm. , can you, can you tap in? Yeah. 203 00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:20,240 We're there to support each other. Um, 204 00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:25,560 what Covid did was teach us to pivot. 205 00:11:26,260 --> 00:11:28,920 And so when our students have to pivot, 206 00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:32,760 give them positive praise. Hmm. 207 00:11:32,930 --> 00:11:37,640 Maybe it's that they pivoted and provided support for a sibling in the house 208 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:41,680 or helped you with something without being asked to do so. Um, 209 00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:46,840 in school when we are affirming the empathy 210 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:51,320 response to help others, um, we're, we're appreciating the pivot, 211 00:11:52,060 --> 00:11:56,520 uh, the pivot beyond themselves to someone else, right? Mm-hmm. . 212 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:00,200 So that's a huge, huge thing that you can do. Um, 213 00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:05,440 and then hear their disappointment if they can't go to the soccer game 214 00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:10,240 because they got covid, even if they're not feeling poorly, 215 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:14,880 but they have to isolate, right? Affirm that. Let them know, 216 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,320 validate that to me. You hear them. That is so disappointing. 217 00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:20,040 You're absolutely right. We're all very disappointed. 218 00:12:20,310 --> 00:12:24,120 Just like we had to do when we were home for so many days and so many months. 219 00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:27,960 It was disappointing. We missed out on a lot of amazing human connection. 220 00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:31,920 Remind them that they're gonna probably be scared of Covid. Um, 221 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,040 because there may have been some very, um, 222 00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:38,320 scary things that happened either in home or close to home, 223 00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:42,520 whether it that be losing someone or watching someone get really sick, um, 224 00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:46,880 and let them know that the health professionals are doing their job and their 225 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,880 health professionals went to school and learned skills so that they could 226 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:51,580 problem solve. 227 00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:55,280 And that you are going to help them do their best in school so that they can be 228 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,920 those problem solvers as well. Right. Help them to be part of the solution. 229 00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:03,800 So perhaps they might feel more comfortable if they decide to give a fist bump 230 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,560 instead of a hook. Um, give, you know, 231 00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:11,280 remind them that they can have hand sanitizer in their backpack or that they 232 00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:13,600 can, um, you know, say to their teachers, 233 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,640 I would feel more comfortable if I wear a mask. 234 00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:19,640 It's about hearing them and how they see themselves in their whole health. 235 00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:24,680 And Covid is an opportunity to hear about how they see themselves in emotional 236 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:28,600 health and physical health. That's why Covid has such a big impact, 237 00:13:28,870 --> 00:13:30,920 because it impacted us on both levels. 238 00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:34,840 Yeah. The, the, the entire spectrum really, really took a huge toll. 239 00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,480 So be attentive, don't be a fixer. Validate. I, 240 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:42,240 I love the idea of of, of the positive praise during a pivot. 241 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:46,920 A lot of that is gonna be, you know, is ongoing. Um, and as, 242 00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:50,880 as families, as teachers, how do we support one another, um, 243 00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,960 to kind of make sure this, this back to school, um, 244 00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:58,040 environment is positive and, but that we do have solutions when, 245 00:13:58,230 --> 00:14:02,200 when things get difficult. I guess back to the, the more pragmatic stuff. 246 00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:02,950 The books. 247 00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:03,783 Back to the books. 248 00:14:04,470 --> 00:14:05,960 Back to the books. Yeah. You know, 249 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:10,600 I needed those JCO jeans and that probably dates myself a little bit. 250 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:15,240 I don't know if anybody remember those. Yeah. $150 jeans that I needed. Yep. 251 00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,680 Back to school shopping. 252 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:21,200 I knew, I know now. My mom could not afford that. Yeah. 253 00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:24,720 How do we weigh net? Like what's necessary versus what we want? 254 00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:29,240 Yeah. It's so easy to look at someone across the table, um, 255 00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:30,720 across the school yard, 256 00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:35,440 across the boardroom meeting and see something that they're wearing or having, 257 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:39,960 and you're instantly gonna focus on what they have that you want and don't have 258 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:41,420 mm-hmm. . 259 00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:44,960 And so you're gonna assume automatically that they get everything. 260 00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:49,800 And if that person is someone who is charismatic, maybe popular, 261 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:54,400 um, you are going to think, gosh, if I can wear those pants, 262 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,200 I too will be that charismatic, popular person. 263 00:14:57,510 --> 00:15:01,040 What I do is we have the conversation about school clothes shopping and, 264 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:06,080 and stuff early on. Um, we also put things aside for the future. 265 00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:09,120 You might really want that pair of Doc Martins. 266 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:13,760 Maybe there's a birthday coming up or holiday celebration where your family 267 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,520 gives gifts and if you can't afford it, 268 00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:20,400 help them be part of the solution about what you could do to afford it. Hmm. 269 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,320 Once they go to school, 270 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:25,880 we want them to remember that showing off their clothes is not going to make 271 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,720 them as a person. , we're not, 272 00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:31,520 we don't value people based on what they wear. We value people for who they are. 273 00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:32,260 Uhhuh, . 274 00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:36,360 And that's something that they need to learn how to live and appreciate. 275 00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:40,520 Right. So I guess there are, there are lessons to be taught, you know, as, 276 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:41,800 as we look at back to school shopping, 277 00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:45,960 and I love the idea you keep throwing in this idea of choice. Um, 278 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:48,960 so say, you know, they really, really, 279 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,400 really need those pairs of shoes and we just can't afford 'em. Well, 280 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,400 how about for the next two weeks? We don't do pizza night on Wednesday. Yep. 281 00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,880 Yep. And we, we've saved enough money. So is that, 282 00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,400 are you willing to part with pizza night? Are. 283 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,480 You willing to help clean? Are you willing to help with yard work? 284 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:05,760 Are you willing to, you know, to help, um, you know, 285 00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:08,040 walk the dog and pick up after the dog? 286 00:16:08,060 --> 00:16:09,800 You're very busy. It's the beginning of school year. 287 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,360 I don't wanna take up too much more of your time, 288 00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:14,880 and we've talked about so much. So I guess maybe as a parent, 289 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,280 instead of as a teacher, what's one thing you would, 290 00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:22,880 you would like maybe recommend or or to extract from our conversation here that 291 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,880 you would ask a parent to really pay attention to. 292 00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:30,040 Help them problem solve when things get difficult, 293 00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:34,080 because they will get difficult and we're gonna wanna jump in and fix it for 294 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,800 them. We're gonna wanna jump in and do the science project for them because they 295 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,240 didn't tell us about it until the day before it was due. 296 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,520 And it's very frustrating and we're tired. But instead of doing that, 297 00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:49,600 think about how you can help them problem solve and do the work themselves and 298 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:50,800 identify where they need help. 299 00:16:51,230 --> 00:16:52,840 Well, thank you so much for being here, Liz. 300 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,560 I really appreciate your time and good luck on the start of your school. 301 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,400 Year. Thank you. You too. And before you know it, 302 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:58,520 miles will be going back to school. 303 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:00,400 Ooh. Can't wait. 304 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:01,593 . 305 00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:17,350 This has been a production of Balancing Life's issues with your hosts, 306 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:21,750 Kai Sorenson and Wendy Wallner, produced by me Kai Rate. 307 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,550 Leave a review and subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen so you can get 308 00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:29,710 brand new episodes as they drop. Got an idea for the show. Email me, 309 00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:34,350 k i@balancinglifesissues.com. Anything to add? Miles? No.