This is the Art Beauty podcast where we tell the real truth about the fake shit.
Hi everybody.
I am a Amber and.
My fabulous co-host is Miss JAcqui Pugh.
She is a freedom and fulfillment coach and we are going to get all into
what that means because to be honest, I'm not quite sure of myself,
but I do want to point out
before we get started, this is our last show of the year.
Thank you so much for listening to being here with us all year long.
You know, the last two weeks as we're going to the holidays,
I want you to enjoy with your family and friends.
I want to enjoy it with my family friends.
But we will be back on January 3rd with amazing content that you know,
and you love.
So just thank you for everybody for listening through the year.
Okay.
So, Jacqui first of all, welcome to the show.
Thank you for having me.
And I'm like, January 3rd, that's my birthday. Yes.
These are great to be back.
Oh, my.
Goodness. Oh, girl, Happy birthday.
We are like in the homestretch here.
So, you know,
let's get into, first of all, what is a freedom
and fulfillment coach?
You have freedom in the film.
It is usually what my clients end up experiencing when we are
at the end of my program.
Okay?
They usually come in feeling unfulfilled, feeling
like they can't live life on their terms, that they have to go and play
by society's terms or their family's terms or whatever that is.
And by the end of it, they feel completely free.
Ever felt from the inside out.
I love that.
Now, if you're listening right now and you're saying, Wait, Amber,
what does this have to do with beauty?
I want to point out that we're doing things
a little bit different again last year of the year.
And I know that this can be a very difficult time for us.
And I want you to go into the holidays not only looking your best,
but also feeling your best.
So if you're single, you know, if you're having issues about,
I don't know, getting together with family,
if you have anxiety about this time of year,
we're going to make sure that you're feeling your best.
So, Jacqui, how did you become a freedom and fulfillment coach?
That is a loaded question.
I have always been the Inspire since I was a little girl.
And honestly, I knew that that was a job.
I probably would have gone to school for psychology, but I'd done it and long
story short, I ended up taking surf lessons from this guy and his energy.
I just want to be around him all the time.
Like he's just a light.
And he started posting little different, like three minute
videos on Facebook about different things.
And I could tell he was starting to to build a business, becoming a life coach,
and I was thinking I want to do this.
And I, I hit my rock bottom in life where I was on unfulfilled
and not feeling free.
And literally every area of my life I've been through.
Three.
Traumatic heartbreaks like break ups back to back to back.
And you like. Traumatic.
FOSTER Yes.
And I was in real estate as good at it because I cared.
But I hated it.
I was hanging around people where
I necessarily have a lot in common with them,
but I felt like I should be networking and fill in the things for my job.
And I had stuff going on, family
and just literally every hour of my life I was unfulfilled and one day
I had hit my rock bottom and I was depressed for two months.
I couldn't get out of bed and work nothing.
And the last week of that, I finally made it to the couch
and I was like, What's the common denominator?
What is the common denominator in all of the entitlement in my life?
Because once I find it out, I'm going to blame it so hard.
I can't wait and I figured it out.
And it was me.
Me. Me, me.
So I had a whole like 5 minutes of being victim.
That's why I realized,
wait a minute, if it's me, that means I'm not waiting for anything
outside of me for the boss to change, for the boyfriend to change, for the friends,
the change for the family, the means. I have the power to change it.
All right. Now. And so the surf instructor.
That I.
Met, I hired him and worked with him in his group coaching program.
Like, you know how they say when the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Literally that day, this man launched a group
coaching program for the first time ever.
And I was like,
I don't have no idea how my favorite I have not worked in two months, but.
This. Is for me.
And so I spent $5,000 that I did not have found a way
out of no way and got in there.
And I changed my whole life and I was like,
This is what I want to do for other people.
This is what I want to do.
And now that's what I give to other people.
And I'm actually laughing because what you're like,
how does this have anything to do with your beauty? Right?
H And I will tell you guys,
men were coming up to me like guy friends were coming out
to be like, Jackie, what are you doing? Your skin is glowing.
And just yesterday I have a 24 year old.
I don't know the politically correct term anymore.
You black a black 24 year old client.
And I looked at him.
We only had three sessions together.
I was like, your skin is glowing.
He's like you to to
his confidence, right?
Yeah, Confidence is beautiful.
I tried to tell people all the time, You know, when I met my husband,
I was actually, I would say, like, £20 heavier, like, you know, my fashion was,
you know, as my twenties, actually, No, I was just I just turned 30.
I did not have my stuff together in any way.
I was so confident.
I was with my best friend.
I'd gone through a huge heartbreak, a huge heartbreak.
We used to like sit and call the dinner and be like,
You see the right side of the menu, Just send that over, you know?
But I was living my best life. I'd finally gotten my groove back.
I was traveling, I was having a great time with my girlfriends.
And I think that even though I look now and I'm like, Oh,
that's not how I felt my physically best.
My husband's like, That's I remember you so beautiful
because you were shining with confidence and that really does matter.
It does.
So you have actually taken a
you've totally transformed your career.
My career, my life, my family
dynamics, my friendships, my finances.
I mean, every literally, I'm a full life transformation coach
every year of my life, my options.
So, you know, I do want to get into, you know,
like we mentioned at the top of the show, the holidays can be tough.
It can be great for some people.
But I think actually in some ways it can be tough on everybody.
You know.
Do you have any advice?
Let's start with the people who are single this time of year,
whether you've never been in a relationship or those people
who have lost a relationship, either they've broken up or divorced
or maybe somebody who's passed away, what advice do you have
for people to not feel so distraught during the holidays?
Well, one, I am a proponent of feeling your feelings
because emotions are just energy in motion.
That's literally what emotion means.
And so they get magic come through and we experience them when they pass.
But oftentimes
with how our society is these days, it's not cool to feel any emotion, right?
So they come through and we're like, That was like you.
I was going to shut it down and I'm going to carry it with me everywhere.
And like, energy checks, like energy.
So my my first invitation would be, It's okay, you're human.
Feel it without guilt, let it out.
And there are things that you can do.
Like I never in a million years thought that I could say I love being single.
And if I meet my person in this lifetime.
Amazing. If not, that's okay.
I never thought that I would get that way.
But you can find companionship and
in, you know, get a pet, call your friends.
And a lot of times if we're feeling yucky,
we don't want to feel like we're a burden on other people.
Or maybe they don't want to hang out with me.
They haven't reached out to me in a while.
And so we'll just play extra small, especially during the holidays.
I want to challenge you, like reach out to three people that you have not spoken
to in a while, that when you meet them you're and you feel more energy.
You know what I mean?
Like you're with people and you're like, Oh my God.
I'm so tired.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
There are people in my life who are definitely energy suck.
And then there are definitely people who, you know, my best, best, best friends
who are just givers of life and energy and can make you
and who I actually always call when I'm feeling down.
And they do the same with me.
But those are my best, best friends, right?
Because, you know, it's like, all right, I just I need to get this off my chest
or I need somebody to kind of put things in perspective.
I love this idea that you're saying, you know,
you know, let it happen, feel your emotions,
and then maybe you can let them go as opposed to carry them on. Yes.
Because there is a difference between wallowing and allowing.
Okay.
Like if we while we're just sitting in it and having a pity party and
this is my life and I'm in victim mode, but I shouldn't be feeling like this.
I have all this guilt with staying with me,
but when we allow it,
I literally will tell myself I'm having like I could tell if it's a hormonal thing
or if it's a mindset thing or an emotional thing.
And if I know that it's
some type of hormonal,
hormonal or emotional thing, I really would just be like, Fine,
Jack, if this is how you need to feel right now, feel it.
I mean, sometimes it's all three and that's
when I'm like, Yikes, good luck, world.
Watch out.
Okay, So that's really, really great advice.
Let it flow, let it go.
Is there like a time limit on how, like, you know,
when you work with clients and they're feeling really down,
whether it's, you know, relationship wise or where they are in their life?
Is there a time where you're like, okay,
you can feel this for like X amount of times,
Like when you break up, it's like was in the Sex and the City.
That was like half the time that you were together.
You're allowed to, like, feel bad about it.
Is there any kind of guidelines on how long,
when it's time to say, okay, no, no, about okay.
There's more.
But if I do catch that, my clients are wallowing and not allowing
tough love is going to be coming
and and they're going to move out of it much quicker. Right.
I tools and stuff to take them through.
But typically speaking, just to give an idea,
I guess, of what's possible, like for me when I give myself that permission,
maybe a phase out of taking me a month to get out of like
a funk or a week to get out of,
when I give myself that permission, I a time and specific
coming to mind was a Friday, and by Sunday I was back to myself.
But I went there.
I stayed at home under the covers.
I took a bad, I did the thing and then I was able to move out.
But and for my clients, when they come to me in a state like that,
even going through a breakup,
I mean, I have people who've done therapy for 25 plus years.
Yeah.
And week five, they like I had no idea that I could feel like this.
But part of it is allowing the emotion that's part of it.
And the other part,
another little tip I'd like to give is Chris Evans talks about this.
And because if you're watching me kind of day.
Same same and husband if
you're listening, which I know you're not, you can come to
that with. The threesome.
Like you guys are going to look a little funny on when he talks
about having romance with life and it's something that I do as well.
So instead of being at home and being,
even if you are in a relationship, you could still feel lonely, right?
Instead of being at home, like, Oh, like I'm all alone and nobody loves me,
like how cozy it is outside and I'm here by myself.
I love it.
I like I get my twinkle lights on.
I'll go make like a hot cocoa.
I'll put on my favorite movie.
I'll cry with my bed, with like a fuzzy, fuzzy blanket.
I'll have my dog and I literally will just look around and be like,
I'm having a romantic moment with life.
Like me and life are in this.
I'm not by myself.
We created something special.
I mean, I know I love my alone time.
I spend a lot of my time alone because I work from home.
My husband goes out to work.
He works long hours.
I think that one of the things that I learned early on was like to be
if you could be comfortable being by yourself,
that is like the greatest gift of all.
Because then you're right.
You can just have a relationship with life, with the things around you.
You're not relying on somebody else to give you that.
You know, you I, you had mentioned somewhere
maybe I'd read it, but that single time is your golden time.
Can you tell me a little bit about what you meant when you said that?
Yeah, I think that so many people don't
utilize their single time efficiently.
Okay.
Like even somebody, you just shared a really great story.
You're like, I was incompetent.
I was do it right like that.
That's what your single time gets to be about.
If you allow it.
And in turn, you attracted an amazing man, right?
You found the love of your life and you got married because she was just
she care what he looked like on the outside, sizzling, amazing on the inside.
And that.
Made.
Her outside look different just naturally. And
someone that I
know that's pretty close to me,
they would cry so often on the phone.
I'm I'm always but literally she was like always the bridesmaid like sometimes
like four times in a summer, you know, like I'm always a bridesmaid.
I'm always made of honor.
I don't have anybody.
Is it ever going to be me?
And now she's married and she has three kids in the house
and the fence and all the things.
And I asked her if you could have spent your single time
differently knowing that your life is going to end up like this.
Would you have spent it any differently?
And she was like, Yeah. Yeah.
So it's not. So much time being sad and crying.
Yeah, but it wasn't
until she got into therapy and and changed how she was feeling.
So for me,
single time was your golden time because I, the divorce rate is super high,
but I think it's because so many people don't take the time.
And you can do this even if you are married or in a relationship.
I work with people in relationships as well, but
taking that time just for you,
that solo time to figure out who you are, what actually lights you up, why?
Why do you operate the way that you do? What are your patterns?
Why are you always attracted to the guy?
You're the girl that's like too cool and emotionally unavailable,
and that's what you end up with every single time.
Let's figure out why. Well.
My ex before him, when I met my husband, he was kind of like a little bit goofy.
And I was used to dating like a banker isn't going out to these fancy places.
And then one day I realized my type was a dick,
and I'm like, Oh my gosh, When I met my husband, I'm like, He's not my type.
He's not my type.
And then I was like, Wow, here's this amazing, funny,
Wait a minute, why is my type in such a douche bag?
Up until now?
I need to change that.
This is the type that I really want.
So that's a really good point.
You know, give yourself a little bit of that self-examination sometimes because.
Right.
All the problems in our life, as you mentioned before,
the common denominator is always going to be us.
And we do have the power to change some things.
Not everything, right, but something.
That a lot a lot we can.
And I think that there's a huge stigma around,
well, that this bad thing happened to me, right?
There's this thing happened to me or this person did this thing to me.
And some of those things might actually be really bad.
And I'm not saying that we aren't victims in situations like that, right?
However, it is our responsibility to heal from it and grow from it.
And I know that we have a responsibility to like this should be my responsibility.
Responsibility is taking our power back.
You're just taking your power back.
You don't You, in that situation, no longer control me.
Yeah, I'm doing making.
I'm literally making the situation gold.
I think. It is.
It is really about kind of owning it and taking her power back.
So such a wonderful way to put it.
You know, going back to this idea because we do know what are the holidays.
So depressing? Wow.
Why do you think they can be so depressing for people when they're single?
Why is that like the go to?
I think it's because,
once again, going back to society, you know, it's like you have the rom.
Coms, which I'm.
Not going to like, I love, but I, I watch them and I see other couples as,
Oh, that's what's waiting for me when I'm ready.
Right. With divine timing.
That's what's waiting for me versus look at what I don't have anymore.
We think like that more. We're going to check that.
But I think that with the with the rom coms and the coziness and,
you know, when you get to get together for holidays
and I was like, bring your plus one to this event.
Bring your plus one, we immediately think that the plus one
has to be a significant other.
And I'm about to go to a wedding tomorrow and I'm we want to bring one of my best
friends and I had the option
of bringing guy friends to and I like to go with my girlfriend.
She wants to dance like.
Yeah, because she's so much more fun.
I went to a wedding with my best friend in India.
We went as dates and she was like, Can I bring my best friend?
And they were like, Yeah, I guess so.
And we have the best time together because we're your best friend.
You're going to have the best time.
That's a great idea. Is it?
You know, bring ask if there's an event plus one great
advice is asking you can bring your bestie.
Bring your bestie like bring your bestie.
Even love songs like love songs. Come on.
You know, in holiday songs like All One's about like two sexy people,
like sitting next to each other roasting chestnuts by an open fire, you know? But
I like to play a game with my clients,
and I challenge every listening to listen to.
Even if you're in a relationship, listen to any love song.
And I guarantee at least 95% of them
could be sung from your higher selves to you.
Oh, we think it's about somebody else
that it really could be from your higher self.
So like one of my go tos is one of the things that I love.
Maybe I'll you be like, I like me better when I'm with you.
That's okay. Yes.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I that was like my jam.
And I'm like, yeah,
I do like me better when I'm with you and I'm not tearing you down.
Let's go out and have fun. Great.
Let's create a good memory.
All the love songs literally be about your how yourself loving you
and it can literally start to rewire your brain
and make you feel completely different in a totally different state.
So I everybody out there to go do that.
You know what?
There is a much greater chance, let me tell you, of me, myself
and I roasting chestnuts, the me and my husband.
Like that's never going to happen.
We're never going to roast chestnuts on an open bar.
Now, I might with myself, but,
you know, also, I will say from the relationship side, like
sometimes the idea of what
you think you're going to have is really not
the reality.
I agree.
It's not the reality.
You know, this has been so helpful to you.
Are there any other wonderful tips that you have?
You know, before we kind of wrap this up,
for people who might be single during the holidays.
Schools choose your word.
Even if you're not single, choose your way for for next year.
So New Year's is coming up.
Choose your word.
And what I mean by that is kind of like your intention
and I have seen this populate in my life.
I'm like, Wow, I know I said best nose.
So that was my word. But holy cow, that I grow, you know, I got like.
Got what I asked for one of my clients are hers.
Let her word for the year with love.
She met the love of her life My my best friend.
She went through my program, see her Word of the year was
opulent at the
beginning of the year and see that was not her life.
I was going to. Put it like that. That was not her life.
And what has come from it.
Like she has this amazing job.
She flies to Italy, she flies to the Hamptons,
she goes to Belle's, She's dating this amazing man like
she has a beautiful brand new apartment.
Like, literally, that became her reality.
My thing was creation and expression,
and I didn't know really what was going to happen.
And then I kind of, like, went through like a little phase.
I wasn't really feeling it.
And the amount of things that I have created this year
that have just come out of me is is crazy.
Like so many programs and podcasts, like, like all the things.
So if you want your life to be different,
like just tell tell the universe, this is
this is what I'm putting out here for next year and watch it change.
I love to pick your word and then kind of act on it,
huh? Yeah, you have to.
Act on it. You have to act, not.
Pick who wrote an act on it.
Don't pick your word and then put it in your back pocket and forget it.
Pick your word and act on it.
I want to just say, Jackie, thank you so much for being on.
You know, and everybody who's listening
right now, again, I hope that this gives you some whether you're single,
whether you're in a relationship, no matter what your status is.
I hope it gives you some some reminders of how beautiful it is to be with yourself,
how much power that we have to
sort of control the direction of our own lives.
You mentioned going into New Year's.
If you make resolutions and that's your thing,
you know,
we can actually sort of make those come to life.
I love this idea of picking award.
You know, if people want to know more about you,
you are the most positive person.
Like I've been smiling this entire interview.
You just exude this confidence and friendliness.
If people want to work with you, if they're ready to kind of make a change
in their own lives, how can they do that?
Yeah, you can go to my website, Jacquipugh.com
and I'm sure it'll be in the notes somewhere.
Well, that is, it's very different. So
and you can go to programs and you'll see a program under there called LEARN.
You can apply there.
You can find me on Instagram and send me a note there and I'm happy
to send you an application and see if you can, you know, if I can truly help you.
If I can't, I will never be like, yes, do my program.
Like, that's why all my clients have my one transformations,
because I will only help you if I think I can.
Otherwise,
I know tons of other people who are in my same field who may be able to help.
So Instagram is usually where I hang out.
So you could find me there where I am.
I would say. Amazing.
And when you talk about a program like how long Ballpark is a program.
That it's four months long.
It's called it's called Burn using your old flame to light your new fire.
And it's it's deep.
I'm not going to lie.
It's deep.
But we have fun.
And you come out a brand new person.
All my single clients whou've gone through it.
50% of them have already found the love of their life afterwards.
Yes. It's with you.
It's their idea group.
So if anybody is interested, the next one is going to be starting
at the end of January, beginning of February.
So and only do it twice a year.
So you're going to want to make sure to.
Sign up and make sure to have that in the notes for sure.
I want to thank you, Jacki, so much for being on with me today.
What a wonderful helping me.
I love your energy, too.
Oh, thank you. Well, you know what?
I'm ready to go into the holidays.
Like you said, everybody, two weeks off.
But we will be back on January 3rd, Jackie's birthday.
So let's put out some positive vibes for Jackie's birthday.
I hope that you have had such a wonderful year.
I've enjoyed going through so many different things with you this year.
I want to thank everybody who's listening.
Your your your support means the world.
If you have questions you want me to pass on to Jacqui you can do that.
You can email us at hello@artbeautypodcast.com.
You can find us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube @artbeautypodcast.
And as always, we will see you, I would say, next Tuesday,
but we're going to see you next year, hopefully brighter and beautiful.
Is that your puppy in the back chiming in?
I love it.
We get every ramble on.
You know, I think the mailman just got here.
No worries. All right. Well, you go. Have a wonderful day.
Happy birthday and we'll see you next year.
Everyone loves you.
Bye. Love ya!