1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,006 ♪ Opening theme music ♪ 2 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:17,450 [Diane:] Hello, and welcome to this episode of ArtsAbly in Conversation. 3 00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,619 My name is Diane Kolin. 4 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:24,157 This series presents artists, academics, and project leaders 5 00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:28,194 who dedicate their time and energy to a better accessibility for people 6 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,030 with disabilities in the arts. 7 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:36,036 You can find more of these conversations on our website, artsably.com, 8 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:41,040 which is spelled A-R-T-S-A-B-L-Y dot com. 9 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:47,046 ♪ Theme music ♪ 10 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,290 Today, Artsably is in conversation with Alexia McLean, 11 00:00:57,290 --> 00:01:03,196 a saxophonist, an educator, and a disability rights advocate from Houston, Texas. 12 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:07,500 You can find the resources mentioned by Alexia McLean during this episode 13 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,837 on ArtsAbly's website in the blog section. 14 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:17,210 ♪ Excerpt of Ray by Jenni Watson, performed by Alexia McLean at the saxophone ♪ 15 00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:59,853 ♪ End of the excerpt ♪ 16 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:04,290 [Diane:] Welcome to this new episode of ArtsAbly in Conversation. 17 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:09,996 Today, I am with Alexia McLean, who is a saxophonist, an educator, 18 00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:13,399 and a disability rights advocate from Houston, Texas. 19 00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:15,268 Welcome, Alexia. 20 00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,803 [Alexia:] Thank you so much, Diane, for having me. 21 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,139 I'm excited to be here. 22 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:23,843 As you've already indicated, my name is Alexia McLean. 23 00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:27,714 I'm a disabled musician, woodwind specialist, and a passionate arts 24 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:32,619 educator, especially now with disability rights accessibility. 25 00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:34,087 I use she/her pronouns. 26 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,456 I'm joining you from my home office in Texas, 27 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:39,359 Just a quick introduction about me. 28 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:45,198 My background weaves together performance, education, arts administration altogether. 29 00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:50,904 I taught students from across K through 12 and beyond, to be honest. 30 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:54,140 College, community program, serving in roles from private woodmen 31 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:58,311 instructors to elementary music teachers to band clinician. 32 00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:01,247 It feels like I've done everything under the sun at this point. 33 00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:06,786 My career path has taken me from higher education, music admissions to concert 34 00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:10,557 stages to classrooms across that K through 12 spectrum. 35 00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:13,860 I bring all those experiences of how I advocate for inclusion, creative 36 00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:16,162 agency, and equity in the arts. 37 00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:18,131 I think that's really important. 38 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:23,169 I think that'll also be a good segue into what I'm doing right now, 39 00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:25,572 artistically and professionally. 40 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:30,009 Right I'm wrapping up my year as an elementary music teacher 41 00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:33,980 in Houston, Texas, where I have worked with students 42 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:36,849 from kindergarten all the way through fifth grade. 43 00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:40,954 I teach a different grade every class, and, woof, 44 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:44,524 that was a learning curve at first, that's for sure. 45 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:48,328 I had done quite a few performances with them so far, and it's been 46 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:50,129 such a gratifying experience. 47 00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:55,835 I did a holiday concert with my third to fifth graders this past December. 48 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,538 I actually I just did a community performance this past weekend 49 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:02,275 with my fifth graders, where they got to play on a community 50 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:08,581 stage in front of people they've never met before, which to us sounds like a norm, 51 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,684 but to them was a new experience. 52 00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:15,655 They got to play ukulele, and they got to sing Stand by Me by Ben King, 53 00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:17,523 which also was a new song to them. 54 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,393 Got to teach them the oldies but goodies. 55 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:24,030 I'm also currently working on a spring musical 56 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:26,299 with my kindergarten through second grade. 57 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,134 That is coming up next Thursday. 58 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:31,004 I am in a whirlwind of finishing things up. 59 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:36,309 I think like every single educator in probably all over, 60 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:40,113 we are very much looking forward to the summer because things are 61 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,981 just wrapping up very quickly. 62 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:45,184 Outside the classroom, I currently serve as the Director 63 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:49,455 of Mentorship for the North American Saxophone Alliances Committee on Gender Equity. 64 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:53,126 In that role, I coordinate professional development, community building, 65 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:56,863 one-on-one mentoring for emerging artists 66 00:04:56,896 --> 00:05:00,700 across the United States and in Canada. 67 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:04,604 Artistically, I am continuing to perform and teach privately 68 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,806 with a focus on woodwind instruction. 69 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:10,543 I'm trying to lean more into collaborative creative projects to highlight 70 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:13,780 accessibility and inclusion in music, but it's also just a really 71 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,315 nice opportunity to play, too. 72 00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:19,052 [Diane:] That's a lot of things. 73 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,720 [Alexia:] I know. It's just a lot of... 74 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:25,625 It's like, let's talk about me in under 90 seconds, right? 75 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:28,494 [Diane:] Well, let's go back to the beginning. 76 00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:31,197 What made you start saxophone? 77 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,233 [Alexia:] What made me start saxophone? Oh, my gosh. 78 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,671 Well, that is a really fun story. 79 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:43,976 When I was in sixth grade, there was a surplus of extra sixth 80 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,778 graders at my middle school that I was at. 81 00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:49,415 I'm originally from Orlando, Florida, so I've lived in quite a few 82 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,384 different places by now. 83 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:55,521 While in Orlando, Florida, started sixth grade. 84 00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:58,091 Wasn't I'm not really sure what my interests were. 85 00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,727 I was involved in different things like cheerleading and stuff like that, 86 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,596 but still trying to figure out who I was. 87 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:08,000 There was a lot of extra sixth graders at my school, so they developed a music 88 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,003 appreciation class that the band director had to teach, 89 00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:13,973 and I was put into that class. 90 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,976 I guess I don't really remember much about it, but this is what 91 00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:20,046 my band director tells me. We still talk. 92 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:25,852 He said I learned how to read music very quickly, much quicker than he anticipated 93 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:30,089 a sixth grader that didn't demonstrate initial interest in music. 94 00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:32,725 I think I learned how to read music in a month or something like 95 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,394 that and just was very interested. 96 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:38,531 We did a lot of listening to different things and identifying 97 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,066 what we were listening to. 98 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:44,437 I eventually became his helper in class where I would help other students 99 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,439 with their theory homework. 100 00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:49,509 At the end of the year, he went up to me and was like, 101 00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:50,777 You're joining band next year. 102 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,379 It wasn't even a negotiable conversation. 103 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,582 It was like, This is what you're doing next year, and you're going 104 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,851 to have a grand old time doing it. 105 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:03,423 I was nervous, but I said, Okay, let's try something new. 106 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:08,828 When he asked me what instruments I was interested in, saxophone came to mind 107 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:11,764 because my 108 00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:16,569 dad always really enjoyed listening to jazz. 109 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:22,241 He always played Dexter Gordon and John Coltrane and Sonny Rollins. 110 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:25,144 He also really enjoyed Kenny G, too, and let's be real, 111 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:30,249 we do I appreciate Kenny G for making the saxophone as popular as it is. 112 00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:32,919 I know he gets some 113 00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:38,157 disdain from saxophonists in my community, but that introduced me 114 00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:39,826 to saxophone and what it was. 115 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,260 I thought it was a really cool instrument. 116 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:43,062 I wanted to do it. 117 00:07:43,162 --> 00:07:46,766 My band director told me, Well, you're going to play clarinet for a year. 118 00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:49,836 So I played clarinet for a year and then transitioned into saxophone, 119 00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:52,104 my eighth grade year of band. 120 00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:55,174 And by then, oh, my goodness, I fell in love with the instrument. 121 00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:58,211 It was just... There was something about it that just 122 00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:02,348 brought me so much joy every single time I got to pull the instrument out and put 123 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,851 it to my face and playing through it. 124 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:08,621 It was a very cathartic experience for me. 125 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:13,359 So it was almost like a no-brainer pursuing it in high school marching band. 126 00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:18,497 Then moving on into college really quickly, I 127 00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:22,535 initially thought that I wanted to pursue music for the rest of my life, 128 00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:26,239 but I was convinced otherwise to start doing something else because music 129 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,774 isn't career, quote, unquote. 130 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:33,045 I started psychology, and I hated it. 131 00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:36,816 I was a semester in, and I was like, I can't do this. 132 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,584 I miss playing my saxophone. 133 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,286 I miss talking about music. 134 00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,622 I miss talking to other people about music. 135 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:47,293 I was hanging around the music majors a lot 136 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:51,163 at my school and helping them with their theory homework. 137 00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:55,701 They would all look at me like, Alexia, why aren't you a music major? 138 00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:59,639 We're really confused right now. That got me thinking, it's like, Okay, well, 139 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:02,542 now I need to make these decisions for me instead of just listening to what other 140 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,744 people think I should be doing with my life. 141 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:08,381 Second semester, switched it right on in music, 142 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,217 and I think the rest is history from there. 143 00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:14,020 [Diane:] I think one of the things we... 144 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:19,492 I'm also a voice teacher, and I think we have that in common between 145 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:25,865 teachers that one or several great teachers in our career 146 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,601 really set us on track. 147 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:32,872 As teachers today, we think of these people. 148 00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,273 Isn't that true? 149 00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:36,642 [Alexia:] It is so true. 150 00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:40,980 It's funny you mentioned that, and what I forgot to mention in my quick 151 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:45,418 history story about my saxophone origins. 152 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:50,556 That middle school band director was my first private 153 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:52,525 saxophone professor in college. 154 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,727 It was a full circle moment for me. 155 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:59,999 It was incredible to see that shift for us. 156 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:03,903 And yes, even now when I work with students, because 157 00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,839 like I said, I teach all across the spectrum, 158 00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:09,642 K to 12, college, community, students. 159 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:14,947 And if I could be that person, that that band director was for me for one person. 160 00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:19,352 I think you can agree with this, too, Diane, that music has brought such joy 161 00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:22,221 in our lives and has changed us for the better. 162 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:26,792 And we feel like we're really making this positive impact in our communities. 163 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,161 We want to share the love. 164 00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:32,331 We want to pass it forward, if you will. 165 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,233 [Diane:] Totally. 166 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,335 [Alexia:] Yeah, absolutely. 167 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:43,309 [Diane:] So, from this path, then you finish your studies, 168 00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:47,413 and then there is a point where you say, I need to become a teacher. 169 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:51,650 I want to pass it on. I want to be this impact person. 170 00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,285 When was this moment for you? 171 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:58,924 [Alexia:] I think it halfway through my undergrad career. 172 00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,160 I got this job. 173 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,296 I was working on my undergrad in saxophone performance at the 174 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,132 University of North Florida. 175 00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,100 Out there, there's this private school 176 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,703 known as the Episcopal School of Jacksonville. 177 00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:13,806 My saxophone professor reached out to me at the time and said, 178 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,409 Hey, they're looking for a saxophone adjunct instructor. 179 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,811 I think you would be really great at this. 180 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:22,715 I was nervous because I never taught before. 181 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,018 I was like, Sure, I'll try it, see if I like it. 182 00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:28,754 And I went to it. 183 00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,823 I taught my very first sectional. 184 00:11:30,823 --> 00:11:34,493 And even before going in, I went to my professor, 185 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,463 pen and paper, I was like, what do I do? 186 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:40,266 What do I do when they walk in? What do I do? 187 00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,567 How do I warm them up? 188 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,102 How do I get them to play? 189 00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:46,172 I was like, I don't know what to do. 190 00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:49,175 They're giving me 45 minutes to work with these 20 students, 191 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,143 and I have no idea what to do with them. 192 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:55,081 And he helped me to develop a whole plan from start to finish. 193 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:59,518 And then I remember after to that very first sectional, a student went up to me 194 00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:02,288 and she said, Hey, do you teach privately? 195 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,957 And I lied. And I said, Yes. 196 00:12:04,957 --> 00:12:07,693 And she said, Can you be my teacher? 197 00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,462 And I said, Sure, let's do it. 198 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,297 And then I went back to the same professor after it. 199 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,698 I was like, What do I do? 200 00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:13,933 How do I get lessons? 201 00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,401 How do I do this? 202 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:18,738 And I was so nervous because I was so afraid of failing. 203 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:23,342 But looking back on it now, it was such an amazing experience because 204 00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:28,314 it showed me whenever that student gets that aha moment 205 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:33,018 or that student gets that part right the first time or they can't play 206 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:36,055 altissimo, all of a sudden it clicks for them because of the way 207 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,890 I taught them how to do it. 208 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:43,462 Just the happiness that it brought me of, Oh, my gosh, I just helped 209 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,631 this student was amazing. 210 00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:50,002 And as I continued to teach, I went on and did my master's, and I continued. 211 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,805 So I started developing my private lessons studio. 212 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:57,376 I was teaching about 30 to 35 students a week while working on my master's, 213 00:12:57,409 --> 00:13:00,913 which was a little crazy, looking back on it now. 214 00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:03,582 Don't know how I did that, but I did. 215 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,318 I was going to several different high schools and middle schools 216 00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:09,922 in the Baton Rouge area when I wasn't in class or wasn't in rehearsal, 217 00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:12,458 going to those schools, working with those students. 218 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:17,596 And that really jump started like, okay, I love doing this. 219 00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:20,199 This is something I'm really passionate about. 220 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,768 I love getting students excited about the saxophone. 221 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:27,506 I love getting students feeling like they're getting from point A to point B. 222 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:33,612 Something I struggled with a lot when I was working on playing in high school, 223 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,114 I couldn't afford lessons. 224 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:40,553 My family couldn't afford the lessons as much as I wanted to. 225 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,222 And I totally understand why, because there is a cost 226 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,758 associated with doing that thing. 227 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:49,595 But I felt like I was falling so far behind all of my peers, 228 00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:54,466 and it made me feel very inferior to them. 229 00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:57,903 And they never intended to act that way towards me, 230 00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:02,174 but they were at this whole new level that I couldn't even comprehend, 231 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,844 and I wanted to see what I could do to get there. 232 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,680 When I was becoming that teacher for that person and helping them get 233 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,816 to those levels, and not just about playing an instrument, 234 00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:14,954 but about character development, giving them leadership opportunities, 235 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:18,757 getting a student feeling more comfortable speaking in front of an audience, 236 00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:23,729 just those kinds of things that are so inherently woven into everything we do as 237 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:28,500 musicians, that was the turning point for me of like, oh, my gosh, I can 238 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,570 change people's lives doing this thing. 239 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:33,606 And it was very, very exciting. 240 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,341 So I love doing it. 241 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:39,078 And even today, as a quick example, I'm working on that spring musical 242 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:42,715 with my K to second graders, and I have a second grader. 243 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,750 There's some speaking roles in the musical. 244 00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:50,055 They're very small, and they're cute, like Dr. Seuss-esque, rhyming things. 245 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:56,228 And I had a second grader just get total stage fright and started crying. 246 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,531 And I had to pull him aside and talk him through it and said, 247 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,200 This feeling is normal. 248 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,234 You're going to be okay. 249 00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:05,938 I believe in you, all of those things, because he was the one that came up to me 250 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:12,544 and said, Ms. McLean, I want to have a role, but I'm so nervous going on stage. 251 00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:15,781 I told him, I will help you get there because I was that shy kid 252 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:17,650 who was afraid to talk to anyone. 253 00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:22,054 I want to be able to help those students blossom out of their shell 254 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,290 and really grow into themselves. 255 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:29,194 [Diane:] Today, you do that also at university level with the ADI committees 256 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:32,064 and things like that. Can you talk about that role? 257 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,399 [Alexia:] Yeah, absolutely. 258 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:38,837 I mentioned I'm the Director of Mentorship for the NASA's Committee on Gender Equity. 259 00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:41,607 NASA is short for not space. 260 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,009 North American Saxophone Alliance. 261 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:47,446 We have a very clearly matching acronym. 262 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:51,684 I really do enjoy the work that I do 263 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,553 with diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility. 264 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:57,723 Something that I was quickly figuring through my college years, 265 00:15:57,823 --> 00:16:02,861 and especially as I was starting to navigate my new disability, is that I 266 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,698 am very much in the minority population. 267 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:09,635 There's not a lot of representation, one, of female identifying saxophonists, 268 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:15,741 and two, of disabled identifying artists, and I couldn't find my community. 269 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:21,280 So I definitely felt isolated a lot in those aspects of my college experience. 270 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:26,585 While I was working on my undergrad, it was definitely a boys club, if you will. 271 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:30,489 I was one of the few women in my studio that was playing saxophone. 272 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,891 And there were some troubling times with that. 273 00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:36,895 And I know that a lot of people in my shoes can share some stories with that. 274 00:16:36,895 --> 00:16:41,166 But I think what it taught me is something had to change, something had to give. 275 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:46,138 And I always tried to change something into an inspirational moment for myself 276 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:50,275 because I want to be able to become a better version of myself. 277 00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:54,279 And also, again, that whole idea of paying it forward. 278 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:59,718 So I started to involve my efforts into 279 00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:02,287 gender equity-esque things. 280 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:06,692 So the North American Saxophone Alliance first started this committee. 281 00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:09,528 It was known as the Committee on the Status of Women, 282 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:13,465 and they started it, I think, 2016, 2017? 283 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,100 No, maybe it was 2018. 284 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,404 It hasn't even been in existence for 10 years. 285 00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:23,675 They wanted to address this very issue of the lack of female identifying 286 00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:26,145 or non-binary identifying saxophonists. 287 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,646 What can we do to get there? 288 00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:31,417 I fill out a volunteer form immediately and I was like, 289 00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:32,351 I want to be a part of this. 290 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:36,488 I don't know how, I don't know what skill sets I can provide you to help you reach 291 00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:41,427 our goal, but I want to be a part of this because I think I found my community. 292 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,327 I surely did. 293 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:47,099 Meeting with these women and these non-binary saxophonists 294 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:51,970 who are doing these amazing things all over North America was so inspiring, 295 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,939 and I wanted to become a part of that. 296 00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:57,109 When I shifted my role into actually becoming a committee member, 297 00:17:57,142 --> 00:18:02,114 which was this past year, I was very excited when I got the call to be 298 00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:06,185 offered to lead the mentorship program because everything the mentorship program 299 00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:08,554 is - everything that they stand for is just 300 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:12,124 everything I believe in, wanting to support those emerging artists, 301 00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,993 wanting to give the support that maybe they don't have in their immediate 302 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:20,399 communities, whether it's within their immediate college circle or beyond that, 303 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:24,937 and giving them a vehicle to be able to figure out what 304 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,572 their strengths are, what their passions are, 305 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,941 what do they want to do with the work that they're doing? 306 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,911 Because I think we, as musicians, are quickly realizing that 307 00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:37,950 as much as we would love to all be paid full-time to only do our performances, 308 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,018 we just don't live in that world anymore. 309 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:45,390 There's definitely an influx of musicians that are amazing, but it's hard. 310 00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:49,995 We also need the folks like ourselves to be able to advocate for those who maybe 311 00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:51,964 not be able to advocate for themselves. 312 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:58,770 Doing that has gotten me thinking a lot about just the landscape of what 313 00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:03,742 music looks like for us, what musicians career fields look like. 314 00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:09,114 When I first got out of college, and I'm just backtracking a little bit, 315 00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:13,619 but I did my first job at LSU as their 316 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:16,221 School of Music Admissions Recruiter. 317 00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:20,926 Basically, my job was to be the person talking to the parents and saying, yes, 318 00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,529 your child can do a degree in music. 319 00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:25,697 This is a very much doable thing. 320 00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:27,499 Yes, There is a job market. 321 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:32,237 The starving musician stereotype is just it's not an accurate 322 00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,773 representation of our job market. 323 00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:39,478 I remember one mom, specifically, went up to me at a fair, 324 00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:42,848 and she said something along the lines of, Can you please convince my child 325 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:44,182 to not do a degree in music. 326 00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:47,519 She needs to be a doctor. She needs to make money. 327 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:53,225 I was so shocked that she was so blunt about it. 328 00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:58,864 I tried really hard to combat that and say No, I don't think that's the case. 329 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,533 I'm actually a professional musician myself. 330 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,502 But the mom was having none of it. 331 00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:07,472 She was like, No, what you're saying is not true, and all of that. 332 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:11,009 So it got me thinking about, Well, why does this mom feel this way? 333 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:16,148 We always make the joke about the starving musician, and we always joke about how we 334 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:19,818 had to find 32 gigs to be able to pay our rent. 335 00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:23,355 But why is that the case? Is it us? 336 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:24,923 Is it the job market? 337 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,558 Is it the general public? 338 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:27,693 Is it a combination thereof? 339 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,696 I started to do some research on my part. 340 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,732 The unemployment rates, and it's been a while since 341 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:36,468 I've checked, this is pre-COVID. 342 00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:43,075 I would be interested to look at the data if it's changed since COVID has hit. 343 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,745 But pre-COVID, when I initially looked at the data, the unemployment 344 00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:49,181 rate for musicians was 3%. 345 00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,083 It was very low. 346 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:56,088 The highest percentage of unemployment rates was actually engineer majors. 347 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,658 The major that everyone was being told to go and pursue was one 348 00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:01,360 of the highest unemployment rates. 349 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,630 Now, underemployment, totally different story. 350 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:08,133 The unemployment rate is quite high for musicians, which actually got me 351 00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:10,235 thinking, too, well, why is that the case? 352 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:14,973 Are we just not educating the general public enough about the work 353 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,108 we do and why it's important? 354 00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:22,180 I think the combination of those two things really dove me into the work that I do, 355 00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:26,385 because when I was going through college, my experience was very much 356 00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:29,454 teach, perform, or nothing. 357 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,990 There's no room for arts administration. 358 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:33,659 There's no room for arts advocacy. 359 00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:36,561 There's no room for anything else but these two things. 360 00:21:36,561 --> 00:21:38,130 I think that's been... 361 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:41,600 We've been putting our foot in our own mouths for quite some time saying 362 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:45,203 that these are the only two available career paths because now we have this 363 00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:50,475 influx issue and the lack of support in other areas where we could be really 364 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:54,713 beneficial working in a studio or working in an office that 365 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,715 knows how to run a festival. 366 00:21:56,715 --> 00:22:00,585 The festival that I was mentioning that I did this past weekend, 367 00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:03,355 they told us they had keyboards. 368 00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:05,424 They were toy keyboards. 369 00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:07,259 They were not real ones. 370 00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:08,827 Just that knowledge. 371 00:22:08,860 --> 00:22:11,797 If there was a musician on site, a lot of that would have been fixed. 372 00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:15,767 I think we need to give ourselves more credit than we are a lot of the time. 373 00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:18,136 [Diane:] For sure. 374 00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:22,074 I would like to go back to your performer career now. 375 00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:26,745 As a performer, you also did a lot of very interesting things. 376 00:22:26,778 --> 00:22:28,680 Can you talk about that a bit? 377 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,649 [Alexia:] Yeah, definitely. 378 00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:35,887 As a performer, I found myself really drawn to 379 00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:39,424 music that had meaning, if you will. 380 00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:42,794 Not that pieces of music don't have meaning, but the pieces 381 00:22:42,794 --> 00:22:45,163 that had a really big meaning. 382 00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:46,798 Something I was drawn to. 383 00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:50,368 I was always drawn to what the story was behind something. 384 00:22:50,368 --> 00:22:55,574 The first one that exposed me to that was Jacob ter Veldhuis, 385 00:22:55,574 --> 00:22:58,643 if I'm saying his last name correctly, also known as JacobTV. 386 00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:04,649 He's well known for composing music with backing tracks, so like electronic music. 387 00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:11,523 The first one that I was exposed to during my grad degree was Grab It by JacobTV. 388 00:23:11,523 --> 00:23:14,559 If you don't know anything about the piece or anyone who's listening to the podcast 389 00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:17,896 doesn't know, I'll give a quick snippet of what it's about. 390 00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:20,999 It's for a tenor saxophone with boombox. 391 00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:26,705 The boombox is playing recordings of JacobTV's interviews 392 00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:32,844 with prisoners that are serving life sentences and talking to them about 393 00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:37,916 what their experience is like in prison, what do they value in their lives. 394 00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:42,554 What a lot of these prisoners were saying a lot of the time is you got to grab life 395 00:23:42,554 --> 00:23:44,156 because you don't know when you're going to lose it. 396 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:47,225 You don't know if tomorrow is going to come, all of these things. 397 00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:52,531 These things that sound so cliché to us, but to someone like those individuals 398 00:23:52,564 --> 00:23:57,502 that got their freedom taken away or they couldn't have not their freedom anymore 399 00:23:57,536 --> 00:24:00,505 for various reasons and have to think differently. 400 00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:02,874 They have to shift their perspective. 401 00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,977 Because at the very beginning, when you listen to this piece of music, 402 00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:11,016 you hear a lot of cursing and the F-bomb is being dropped here and there. 403 00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:15,854 A lot of people tend to give, Oh, goodness, I just lost the word. 404 00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:21,026 They give less worth to the piece because of it when they initially listen to it 405 00:24:21,026 --> 00:24:23,628 because it's like, Oh, there's cursing in it. I don't like it. 406 00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:26,998 When in reality, it's just to really represent the of what 407 00:24:26,998 --> 00:24:29,468 these prisoners are trying to express. 408 00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:31,403 It's a very cool piece of music. 409 00:24:31,403 --> 00:24:36,274 I performed it at a NASA conference in, 410 00:24:36,274 --> 00:24:40,145 I think, Mississippi in 2019 or something like that. 411 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:45,517 That was my first performance of something I felt really connected to because I 412 00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:49,254 always find that when you go through these life experiences, 413 00:24:49,254 --> 00:24:52,490 it gets you to think about life differently, which I think 414 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:57,696 is definitely a huge proponent of how I feel when it comes to the disability 415 00:24:57,729 --> 00:25:00,799 that I had to start navigating a couple of years ago. 416 00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:06,238 That was really the jumpstart for my love for electronic music. 417 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:09,140 I started diving into that a lot more, finding different performance 418 00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:11,209 opportunities there. 419 00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:16,781 And then fast forward to starting to work in my arts administration work, 420 00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:18,783 I stopped playing. 421 00:25:18,783 --> 00:25:21,853 I totally kicked myself in the butt for that because I got 422 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:23,154 busy with my full-time job. 423 00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:25,590 And I was like, Oh, it's okay. 424 00:25:25,624 --> 00:25:27,893 The saxophone's over there, I'll play it later. 425 00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:31,696 And then COVID hit, and we were all forced to be at home forever, 426 00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:34,299 or it feels like forever, right? 427 00:25:34,332 --> 00:25:40,238 And I was constantly working because I was working from home. 428 00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:44,142 And I think with a lot of other individuals across the world were 429 00:25:44,175 --> 00:25:46,545 finding themselves quickly burned out. 430 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:50,916 So I needed to find a better way to dive my energy into this. 431 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:54,586 So I started doing multitrack videos. 432 00:25:54,586 --> 00:25:58,590 And I know those are a lot of what people see when they look at my YouTube 433 00:25:58,623 --> 00:26:00,692 channel, it's like, Whoa, this is different. 434 00:26:00,692 --> 00:26:04,763 And the reason I started doing that is, one, I wanted a creative outlet, 435 00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:10,101 and two, there's something so incredibly nostalgic and amazing about 436 00:26:10,101 --> 00:26:14,039 video game music and TV show music that I used to watch when I was a kid 437 00:26:14,039 --> 00:26:15,774 or used to play when I was a kid. 438 00:26:15,774 --> 00:26:18,643 There's something about it that just brings me such joy. 439 00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:20,478 It's almost like the nostalgic feeling. 440 00:26:20,478 --> 00:26:23,181 I think it's called "frusion", if I remember correctly, 441 00:26:23,214 --> 00:26:26,451 that you get whenever you're listening to something that reminds you 442 00:26:26,484 --> 00:26:30,055 of a beloved childhood memory. 443 00:26:30,055 --> 00:26:36,528 I started doing that and it got some traction and people were really liking it. 444 00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:41,299 I was also thinking about it from the lens of, well, there's so much content 445 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:44,002 out there online now, good and bad. 446 00:26:44,002 --> 00:26:46,972 Why don't I put out some stuff out there of a really cool way 447 00:26:47,005 --> 00:26:49,140 that a saxophone can sound? 448 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:51,276 Because the saxophone is such a versatile instrument. 449 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,044 I started making more. 450 00:26:53,044 --> 00:26:54,746 People were loving it. 451 00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:58,783 Now, I haven't made them quite some time because I've been moving a lot 452 00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:00,819 and also navigating new life events. 453 00:27:00,885 --> 00:27:05,490 But my plan is once we move into our forever home, which we're hoping will be 454 00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:08,994 in the next 6-8 months, that we can rebuild our studio 455 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:10,962 and then I can start recording again. 456 00:27:10,962 --> 00:27:13,298 But I really enjoyed that. 457 00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:17,802 Also, what I love about those videos is it's out there forever now. 458 00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:19,771 It's official video. 459 00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:25,377 It also taught me a lot about video editing and mixing and mastering my music. 460 00:27:25,443 --> 00:27:29,147 Oh, my goodness, we do not give enough credit to those audio engineers 461 00:27:29,180 --> 00:27:31,316 and those video editors. 462 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:34,786 That is not easy to do, especially when I was doing it by myself. 463 00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:37,455 And I was giving myself a deadline of like, 464 00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:40,091 Okay, I'm going to post a video every week. 465 00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:46,131 That was... It was finding the song, arranging it to be a saxophone quartet, 466 00:27:46,131 --> 00:27:49,901 playing it, recording myself, being happy with my recordings, 467 00:27:49,934 --> 00:27:53,171 and then playing against myself, which is a lot harder than it sounds 468 00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:56,808 because you're playing that one track and then you have to get them all to match up. 469 00:27:56,841 --> 00:28:00,078 Then mixing, mastering it, then videoing myself it, and then advertising. 470 00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:01,746 It's crazy. 471 00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:08,119 Now I understand why people have managers to handle all of those things. 472 00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:10,288 [Diane:] Wow, yes. 473 00:28:10,288 --> 00:28:16,594 That's the amazing thing is that these covers, actually from this COVID time, 474 00:28:16,594 --> 00:28:22,300 we all found ways to be creative 475 00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:26,104 in these times that were really challenging. 476 00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:27,272 [Alexia:] Absolutely. 477 00:28:27,305 --> 00:28:32,977 [Diane:] Yeah, it's a good trace of whatever we were able to do during these times. 478 00:28:33,011 --> 00:28:36,081 [Alexia:] Yeah, I know. Yeah, absolutely. 479 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:40,018 [Diane:] Okay, so I wanted to ask you about 480 00:28:40,018 --> 00:28:43,621 some projects that you might do right now. 481 00:28:43,655 --> 00:28:47,892 Do you have specific projects that you want to highlight? 482 00:28:48,159 --> 00:28:49,527 [Alexia:] Yes, absolutely. 483 00:28:49,527 --> 00:28:53,431 I'm very excited to share a meaningful project that I'm currently working 484 00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:57,936 on right now is a commission of a saxophone piece 485 00:28:58,036 --> 00:29:01,740 with Electronics with the composer, Jenni Watson. 486 00:29:01,773 --> 00:29:03,508 She currently lives in the UK. 487 00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:08,113 She's also a saxophone player and a composer that's becoming pretty well 488 00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:11,783 known in the saxophone and woodwind community. 489 00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:16,988 Together, we are working on creating a new piece of music that reflects my experience 490 00:29:17,021 --> 00:29:22,060 navigating a new disability, being in and out of the hospital in 2023, 491 00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:28,166 navigating medical trauma, chronic pain, finding a diagnosis, 492 00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:30,502 navigating just all of those things. 493 00:29:30,835 --> 00:29:33,171 It's a very personal work. 494 00:29:33,171 --> 00:29:36,741 It's grounded in those themes of medical trauma, chronic pain, 495 00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,743 resilience and transformation. 496 00:29:38,743 --> 00:29:41,880 Just to give a very quick 497 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:46,184 synopsis of that story, 498 00:29:46,684 --> 00:29:50,255 I was navigating some underlying issues that I didn't know about, 499 00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:55,160 and I had COVID, and COVID exacerbated those issues and accelerated them. 500 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:59,264 I woke up one day and my bones died in my legs. 501 00:29:59,264 --> 00:30:02,634 So I had to get rushed to the hospital, and it took over seven months to get 502 00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:06,137 a diagnosis because of medical gaslighting, 503 00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:09,574 doctors just not believing me, getting bounced around from one 504 00:30:09,574 --> 00:30:11,376 medical specialist to the next. 505 00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:16,281 I mean, just like the epitome of our good old United States health care system. 506 00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:19,651 And then I finally had to make the decision for myself 507 00:30:19,684 --> 00:30:21,186 to go to the Mayo Clinic. 508 00:30:21,186 --> 00:30:26,691 They were able to diagnose me and schedule a surgery, really a life-saving surgery for me 509 00:30:26,691 --> 00:30:30,195 within six hours of me being at this hospital. 510 00:30:30,195 --> 00:30:34,299 Got the surgery done, and I had to learn how to walk again. 511 00:30:34,299 --> 00:30:36,801 It was a bilateral knee surgery. 512 00:30:36,801 --> 00:30:42,040 I had to learn how to stand up, sit down, go up the stairs, all of those things 513 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,642 that we often take for granted. 514 00:30:44,642 --> 00:30:49,981 And so this commission isn't just about telling my story, although that's a very 515 00:30:49,981 --> 00:30:52,150 cathartic part of the process for me. 516 00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:56,521 It's also about opening a space for a dialog on how our bodies 517 00:30:56,521 --> 00:31:00,458 shape our identities as artists because we can't be an artist 518 00:31:00,491 --> 00:31:01,859 without being ourselves. 519 00:31:01,859 --> 00:31:04,195 I think sometimes people lose sight of that. 520 00:31:04,195 --> 00:31:08,933 I think that's why musicians also struggle with personal identity because we put 521 00:31:08,933 --> 00:31:11,536 so much of our identity into our artistry 522 00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:15,607 that we sometimes have a tough time finding that good balance. 523 00:31:15,607 --> 00:31:21,379 My hope is that it resonates with musicians and non-musicians and just 524 00:31:21,412 --> 00:31:25,216 listeners of all facets who don't often see themselves reflected 525 00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:29,053 in music, shaped by health challenges or disabilities. 526 00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:32,690 So I'm really excited to premiere it and perform it in a way to both advocate 527 00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:34,826 and connect with different communities. 528 00:31:34,826 --> 00:31:38,796 We've even talked about trying to get it connected to the podcast 529 00:31:38,796 --> 00:31:42,133 that had nothing to do with music and everything to do with medical trauma 530 00:31:42,166 --> 00:31:47,105 and things like that, just because what I navigated in 2023 was something 531 00:31:47,138 --> 00:31:49,207 I never thought I would navigate. 532 00:31:49,207 --> 00:31:55,079 And now that I have answers and I'm moving towards a place of figuring out my new 533 00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:59,517 identity as myself as an artist and everything like that, 534 00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:06,791 I wish that I had a community that, or at least had others that I could 535 00:32:06,824 --> 00:32:12,096 identify with that could help me better navigate it because I was treading such 536 00:32:12,130 --> 00:32:15,933 uncharted territory for a very long time. 537 00:32:15,933 --> 00:32:20,805 And it turned out that I had this super rare thing that's only supposed to happen 538 00:32:20,805 --> 00:32:23,041 to cancer patients and all of that. 539 00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:28,680 So whenever you're navigating a disability that is rare, and rare enough to where, 540 00:32:29,013 --> 00:32:32,817 I make a joke about this sometimes, where it's actually a true story. 541 00:32:32,850 --> 00:32:36,421 The Mayo Clinic took pictures and videos of the inside of my legs 542 00:32:36,421 --> 00:32:40,358 during my surgery to use for their medical research because of the 543 00:32:40,358 --> 00:32:44,329 disease or the disorder that I'm navigating is totally new 544 00:32:44,362 --> 00:32:46,731 territory for post-COVID patients. 545 00:32:46,731 --> 00:32:49,867 So I get to be part of research. Yay! 546 00:32:49,867 --> 00:32:54,839 But just working towards a space where we could have an open dialog about this, 547 00:32:54,839 --> 00:32:57,976 because something I was mentioning, we were talking about before the podcast 548 00:32:58,009 --> 00:33:03,781 started is I had to start using mobility aids, and I was so ashamed of it. 549 00:33:04,282 --> 00:33:08,419 I was so incredibly ashamed of needing to use a rollator, needing to use a cane 550 00:33:08,419 --> 00:33:12,256 to get from point A to point B because of the way people looked at me. 551 00:33:12,256 --> 00:33:14,692 People look at me funny because I don't look 552 00:33:14,726 --> 00:33:19,831 like the "person," whatever that person 553 00:33:19,864 --> 00:33:23,067 is supposed to look like using a rollator. 554 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:27,839 I don't look like that person that the general stereotype things. 555 00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:31,476 Whenever people see someone with a rollator, they typically imagine, 556 00:33:31,476 --> 00:33:35,580 stereotypically, an older individual needing to use it. 557 00:33:35,613 --> 00:33:37,582 I just didn't fit that bill. 558 00:33:37,582 --> 00:33:39,484 That confused a lot of people. 559 00:33:39,484 --> 00:33:40,952 People were quite judgmental. 560 00:33:40,985 --> 00:33:47,558 People even said some things under their breath, to my face, all of the above. 561 00:33:47,558 --> 00:33:49,861 It made me very ashamed. 562 00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:54,532 If you take a very close look at some past pictures of me, you'll see canes 563 00:33:54,565 --> 00:33:56,167 and rollators hiding in the backgrounds 564 00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:01,172 of my pictures because I was afraid to show people that this is something 565 00:34:01,172 --> 00:34:03,674 that helps me to live my life better. 566 00:34:03,674 --> 00:34:08,246 A lot of people tend to view mobility aids as a hindrance. 567 00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:10,214 Like, Oh, I'm so sorry, you need that. 568 00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:14,952 It's like, No, I'm so glad that I can use this because now I can walk farther 569 00:34:14,986 --> 00:34:17,822 or I can go and enjoy this thing. 570 00:34:17,822 --> 00:34:23,861 I think just opening up that dialog and trying to start to move past a place 571 00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:28,032 where we can talk about the issues and challenges that ableism presents on society 572 00:34:28,065 --> 00:34:30,368 and presents on who we are as artists, because 573 00:34:30,368 --> 00:34:32,904 there's definitely not enough representation there. 574 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:36,874 If my commission can do that, that would bring me so much joy. 575 00:34:37,542 --> 00:34:39,477 [Diane:] When will that be performed? 576 00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:41,412 [Alexia:] Oh, goodness. 577 00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:45,917 Hopefully, looking at the end of 2025, early 2026. 578 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:47,685 [Diane:] Okay, good. 579 00:34:47,685 --> 00:34:50,922 [Alexia:] Yeah. So stay tuned. 580 00:34:51,122 --> 00:34:56,561 [Diane:] Speaking of community, we are both part of a community of professional musicians 581 00:34:56,561 --> 00:34:59,564 with disabilities, RAMPD. 582 00:34:59,564 --> 00:35:02,366 When did you discover RAMPD and 583 00:35:02,366 --> 00:35:07,672 what made you apply and collaborate 584 00:35:07,705 --> 00:35:09,006 with this organization? 585 00:35:09,173 --> 00:35:12,777 [Alexia:] I love RAMPD. 586 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:15,346 When did I find them? 587 00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:18,416 I think it was towards the... 588 00:35:18,983 --> 00:35:20,818 It was definitely after my surgery. 589 00:35:20,818 --> 00:35:24,055 I think that's when I was trying to seek a community. 590 00:35:24,055 --> 00:35:28,493 I started following a lot of disability advocates on Instagram because I just 591 00:35:28,526 --> 00:35:33,731 wanted to find a sense of comfort in whatever I was navigating 592 00:35:33,731 --> 00:35:36,367 that I wasn't the only person dealing with it. 593 00:35:36,767 --> 00:35:41,105 But there was always that disconnect of, well, 594 00:35:41,105 --> 00:35:43,941 all of these disability advocates, they are amazing. 595 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:47,979 And they're very open and talking about whenever they have to deal with ableism 596 00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:51,449 and things like that or just dealing with a new symptom or 597 00:35:51,482 --> 00:35:53,384 dealing with a new doctor. 598 00:35:53,384 --> 00:35:57,588 But what I kept falling short on was the lack of, 599 00:35:57,588 --> 00:36:00,525 Well, none of these disability advocates are artists. 600 00:36:00,525 --> 00:36:03,361 And I want to find that connection with someone. 601 00:36:03,361 --> 00:36:07,465 So I think it was - I was Google searching "disabled artist" 602 00:36:07,498 --> 00:36:10,835 or something like that, and RAMPD popped up on my thing, 603 00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:13,471 and I made myself a profile and I was like, you know what? 604 00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:15,339 This seems like a really cool thing. 605 00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:17,608 And I think is his name Alex? 606 00:36:17,608 --> 00:36:20,044 Is he the operations officer or coordinator? 607 00:36:20,044 --> 00:36:21,145 [Diane:] Arthur. 608 00:36:21,145 --> 00:36:22,880 [Alexia:] Arthur! Thank you. 609 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:24,549 Sorry, Arthur, if you're listening. 610 00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:27,785 Arthur reached out to me and said, Hey, I would love to chat with you, 611 00:36:27,818 --> 00:36:29,487 have a conversation with you. 612 00:36:29,487 --> 00:36:32,423 And he was so awesome to talk to. 613 00:36:32,423 --> 00:36:36,861 Definitely made me feel like I belonged, gave me a sense of belonging, 614 00:36:36,861 --> 00:36:40,765 talked to me about everything RAMPD was doing, and talked to me about why 615 00:36:40,765 --> 00:36:43,100 they believe it was important. 616 00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:44,702 I found a sense of community. 617 00:36:44,735 --> 00:36:51,175 And ever since joining that, I got to meet you and some other composers 618 00:36:51,208 --> 00:36:53,411 that I started collaborating with. 619 00:36:53,411 --> 00:36:56,047 So there's this one composer that I started collaborating with. 620 00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:01,786 I believe they live somewhere in Europe, or maybe it was the UK, 621 00:37:01,819 --> 00:37:04,956 if I remember correctly, and just doing collaborations on that. 622 00:37:04,956 --> 00:37:09,093 So it's just it's such a great way to meet new musicians and artists and just 623 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,530 having something to connect over. 624 00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:16,500 Again, finding your community is incredibly difficult at its best, 625 00:37:16,601 --> 00:37:22,039 and I don't think we are at its best when it comes to a disabled artist community. 626 00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:24,308 I mean, it was really difficult to try to find something. 627 00:37:24,308 --> 00:37:27,778 And then once I found RAMPD, I was like, Okay, I think I found a community 628 00:37:27,812 --> 00:37:30,014 that I could really relate to. 629 00:37:30,448 --> 00:37:34,218 [Diane:] This is a good segue to my next question, which is about the representation 630 00:37:34,218 --> 00:37:38,889 of disability in disability culture and why it is important. 631 00:37:39,156 --> 00:37:45,463 You already replied a little bit to this question, but what is it for you to work 632 00:37:45,496 --> 00:37:49,934 in an environment that promotes accessibility in the arts 633 00:37:49,967 --> 00:37:51,502 and in disability culture? 634 00:37:51,836 --> 00:37:53,037 [Alexia:] Absolutely. 635 00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:56,574 This is something I think about quite a bit, but thinking about this question 636 00:37:56,607 --> 00:38:01,145 in specifics, it definitely caused me to do some deep diving 637 00:38:01,245 --> 00:38:04,282 of reflection upon myself on what it means to me. 638 00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:09,453 With the arts, accessibility in the arts, I think, is more about 639 00:38:09,854 --> 00:38:16,060 developing accessible - the blue handicap sign and ramps and closed captions 640 00:38:16,093 --> 00:38:18,462 and having an ASL interpreter. 641 00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:20,498 I think it means more than that. 642 00:38:20,498 --> 00:38:24,635 I think it's about creating systems, expectations, 643 00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:30,007 changing stereotypes and that makes participation possible for everyone, 644 00:38:30,007 --> 00:38:34,211 from students to performers to administrators, regardless of ability. 645 00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:37,081 Disability culture, I think, is really... 646 00:38:37,081 --> 00:38:42,353 It's funny because when I first started navigating this disability, again, 647 00:38:42,353 --> 00:38:45,856 I think a lot of the same emotions that people deal with is feeling shame 648 00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:47,258 and all of those kinds of things. 649 00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:51,195 But disability culture should really be about embracing your creativity, 650 00:38:51,195 --> 00:38:55,499 adaptability, and deep insight that comes from navigating the world differently. 651 00:38:55,499 --> 00:38:58,402 It definitely causes you to see the world a little differently. 652 00:38:58,402 --> 00:39:02,840 It's also not about being forced to separate my identity either. 653 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,043 I'm a disabled person, I'm an artist, I'm both. 654 00:39:06,043 --> 00:39:08,312 It's all within myself, right? 655 00:39:08,312 --> 00:39:11,849 I think my lived experiences actually 656 00:39:11,882 --> 00:39:15,653 helps to level up my teaching ability, 657 00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:18,422 my performance ability, my leadership ability, because I look 658 00:39:18,456 --> 00:39:20,458 at life through a different lens now. 659 00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:25,529 When we build art spaces where disability is recognized as a valuable perspective, 660 00:39:25,529 --> 00:39:29,967 not a deficit, because I think that's something that folks are still 661 00:39:29,967 --> 00:39:31,736 having a tough time navigating. 662 00:39:31,736 --> 00:39:38,509 We can open the door to such a much more creative and vibrant ecosystem. 663 00:39:39,610 --> 00:39:42,413 Something that RAMPD, which I'm sure you already know about 664 00:39:42,446 --> 00:39:47,918 talking about literally creating that ramp at the Grammys, so that way performers, 665 00:39:47,918 --> 00:39:51,722 regardless of ability of walking up and down the stairs, can go on the stage 666 00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:54,058 at the same capacity as everyone else. 667 00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:57,862 Things that you didn't even realize were needed until you needed 668 00:39:57,895 --> 00:40:00,331 to have that access. 669 00:40:00,331 --> 00:40:04,802 I think those kinds of things are what we need to conversate more about. 670 00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:06,504 [Diane:] Definitely. 671 00:40:06,504 --> 00:40:08,506 [Laughs.] 672 00:40:09,073 --> 00:40:10,241 [Alexia:] Absolutely. 673 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:16,180 [Diane:] I have a last question, which is about people who might have counted in your 674 00:40:16,213 --> 00:40:23,120 career or have showed you some paths that you are right now using. 675 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:28,459 If you had to think of someone who motivated or counted in this 676 00:40:28,459 --> 00:40:32,496 path of yours, who would it be and why? 677 00:40:33,998 --> 00:40:38,436 [Alexia:] Oh, goodness. There's so many people! 678 00:40:39,904 --> 00:40:45,409 I know this sounds a little cliché or cheesy, but I'm going to have to give 679 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:49,413 a quick shout out to my husband, Sean McLean. 680 00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:54,452 He is a full-time percussionist, so he's a musician as well, 681 00:40:54,485 --> 00:40:59,290 so he understands the ins outs of the music community and everything like that. 682 00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:03,327 And he has been with me every single step of the way, whether it was taking me 683 00:41:03,327 --> 00:41:07,898 to doctor's appointments or helping me to figure out how to better advocate 684 00:41:07,898 --> 00:41:10,501 for myself or helping me to figure out what career pathway 685 00:41:10,534 --> 00:41:12,236 is the right fit for me. 686 00:41:12,603 --> 00:41:15,272 I think your significant other, your life partner, 687 00:41:15,272 --> 00:41:17,675 knows you better than yourself sometimes. 688 00:41:17,675 --> 00:41:24,782 So I'm very grateful for his support because a lot of what he and I have done 689 00:41:24,782 --> 00:41:28,118 together, I think is a testament to that and that 690 00:41:28,118 --> 00:41:32,022 support, because when you navigate new challenges in your life, you need someone 691 00:41:32,056 --> 00:41:35,426 to have that immediate support towards. 692 00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:41,398 Shifting on to a more specific artist, a disabled artist, 693 00:41:41,398 --> 00:41:44,168 I think I have to say Lachi. 694 00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:45,536 Lachi, excuse me. 695 00:41:45,569 --> 00:41:48,772 She, if you don't know her, she is the founder of RAMPD. 696 00:41:48,772 --> 00:41:52,977 Diane and I keep talking about RAMPD, and RAMPD is Recording Artists and Music 697 00:41:52,977 --> 00:41:56,280 Professionals with Disabilities. She was the founder. 698 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,917 While I never really have spoken with her directly, 699 00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:04,822 the minute I discovered who she was, I felt instantly inspired and instantly 700 00:42:04,855 --> 00:42:07,825 like, Oh, my gosh, there is a space for us. 701 00:42:07,925 --> 00:42:13,264 There is a space for disabled artists to thrive, not just exist, but thrive. 702 00:42:13,264 --> 00:42:15,766 She is a powerhouse. Oh, my goodness. 703 00:42:15,766 --> 00:42:19,103 She is a musician, disability advocate. 704 00:42:19,103 --> 00:42:22,039 Her visibility and leadership, I think, not only opened doors, 705 00:42:22,039 --> 00:42:24,942 but shifted the conversation around accessibility 706 00:42:24,942 --> 00:42:27,077 and representation in the music industry. 707 00:42:27,077 --> 00:42:33,250 Seeing someone so unapologetically herself, 708 00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:38,856 leading with disability pride while leading systematic change, oh, my gosh. 709 00:42:38,923 --> 00:42:42,893 It's inspired me and made me realize, not only is there room for us, 710 00:42:42,893 --> 00:42:45,262 but make room for us, please. Here we are. 711 00:42:45,296 --> 00:42:49,166 Just having that confidence in ourselves of who we are that we don't have 712 00:42:49,166 --> 00:42:53,938 to compromise our authenticity in our space to create an impact. 713 00:42:53,938 --> 00:42:56,740 I'm really grateful for her work in that. 714 00:42:56,740 --> 00:43:01,779 Even though I've never have personally had a conversation with her, I've seen her 715 00:43:01,779 --> 00:43:03,981 do talks and performances and stuff. 716 00:43:03,981 --> 00:43:06,116 It's inspiring. 717 00:43:06,116 --> 00:43:10,421 It's breathtaking, honestly, to see the work that she does. 718 00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:15,025 [Diane:] Well, the story that launched RAMPD is that... 719 00:43:15,025 --> 00:43:17,795 I know her from before RAMPD. 720 00:43:17,795 --> 00:43:19,063 [Alexia:] Oh, my goodness. 721 00:43:19,063 --> 00:43:26,437 [Diane:] When she started talking about conversations with the Grammy Awards, 722 00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:29,773 about accessibility and inclusion. 723 00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:33,877 Then she realized - she put some people together, and she's the cofounder, 724 00:43:33,877 --> 00:43:37,114 actually, because Gaelynn Lea was also in 725 00:43:37,114 --> 00:43:40,985 that pack that founded RAMPD 726 00:43:40,985 --> 00:43:45,856 at the very beginning. They both realized that when people wanted 727 00:43:45,889 --> 00:43:49,126 to meet artists with disabilities, they didn't know where to go. 728 00:43:49,126 --> 00:43:52,296 As you say, because of the lack of representation, 729 00:43:52,296 --> 00:43:57,935 and they were talking about it very well, we couldn't find anything. 730 00:43:57,935 --> 00:44:03,273 They did a talk for the Grammys or for the Recording Academy. 731 00:44:03,273 --> 00:44:07,611 At the end, the person says, Oh, yeah, sure. 732 00:44:07,611 --> 00:44:12,683 We are going to contact you back, and then we continue the conversation. 733 00:44:12,683 --> 00:44:13,717 Who is we? 734 00:44:13,717 --> 00:44:15,953 I mean, there is this musician, this musician, this musician. 735 00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:17,254 There is no we. 736 00:44:17,287 --> 00:44:19,189 We don't have an ensemble. 737 00:44:19,223 --> 00:44:20,290 We don't have an association. 738 00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:22,226 We don't have a coalition. 739 00:44:22,226 --> 00:44:23,193 We should create that. 740 00:44:23,227 --> 00:44:27,931 They were both very, very excited about the fact that we needed 741 00:44:27,965 --> 00:44:30,701 to create that, and that's when it started RAMPD. 742 00:44:30,701 --> 00:44:36,774 She's always been very verbal and... 743 00:44:36,774 --> 00:44:39,009 and here present in the room. 744 00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:43,080 When she's present in the room, she is not unnoticed. 745 00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:49,453 Everybody's turning the eyes toward her direction, and then she glows. 746 00:44:49,486 --> 00:44:50,988 I mean, really like her cane. 747 00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:53,857 She uses a glow cane. That's exactly it. 748 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,794 [Alexia:] I saw that. That is amazing. 749 00:44:57,261 --> 00:44:59,196 [Diane:] It matches her personality, really. 750 00:44:59,196 --> 00:45:01,031 So, yeah, she's amazing. 751 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:03,600 [Alexia:] Yeah, she's really wonderful. 752 00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:10,174 I'm very grateful for how authentic she is about herself because I think authenticity 753 00:45:10,174 --> 00:45:13,677 is something that musicians sometimes struggle with. 754 00:45:13,677 --> 00:45:18,415 I feel like a lot of times when we try to represent ourselves outwardly, 755 00:45:18,415 --> 00:45:22,886 whether it's online or in a presentation or even in a conversation like this, 756 00:45:22,886 --> 00:45:27,357 I feel like a lot of times we try to act how we think we should act instead of just 757 00:45:27,357 --> 00:45:29,993 being the best versions of ourselves. 758 00:45:30,661 --> 00:45:33,731 [Diane:] Yeah, we should be the best version of ourselves. 759 00:45:34,364 --> 00:45:38,836 [Alexia:] We are all different and important, and we all have something to contribute. 760 00:45:38,836 --> 00:45:41,939 There's no need for all of us to try to act like the same 761 00:45:41,939 --> 00:45:44,875 entity that we think we need to be. 762 00:45:45,209 --> 00:45:48,345 The world is constantly changing. 763 00:45:48,345 --> 00:45:51,381 I think disability has changed the way I move through the world, 764 00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:56,019 but I think it's also deepened my commitment to inclusion and given me 765 00:45:56,053 --> 00:45:58,755 new tools for connection and resilience. 766 00:45:58,989 --> 00:46:02,259 I want to continue to build those communities 767 00:46:02,292 --> 00:46:04,862 where people can feel seen and not in spite of their differences, 768 00:46:04,862 --> 00:46:06,130 but because of them. 769 00:46:06,130 --> 00:46:10,968 That's why, going back to Lachi, it's amazing to see the work that she does. 770 00:46:10,968 --> 00:46:15,839 When it's something as simplistic as, Hey, check out this amazing outfit that I'm 771 00:46:15,839 --> 00:46:19,610 wearing at this awards ceremony. 772 00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:24,414 I don't remember what she posted recently, what she was at, but 773 00:46:24,414 --> 00:46:29,920 I was like, Oh, my gosh, that dress, everything just from head to toe, just amazing. 774 00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,557 Like you said, when she walks in a room, everyone looks, she's there. 775 00:46:33,557 --> 00:46:35,692 Everyone knows she's there. 776 00:46:35,692 --> 00:46:41,498 [Diane:] You know, this kind of advocacy for musicians with disabilities 777 00:46:41,498 --> 00:46:45,602 today, it's really important, especially now. 778 00:46:45,602 --> 00:46:50,574 Especially now that we live in that world where we look at each other 779 00:46:50,607 --> 00:46:52,376 and say, How did that happen? 780 00:46:53,610 --> 00:46:57,815 [Alexia:] Yeah. And we look at such a digital world now that we might as well just 781 00:46:57,815 --> 00:46:59,783 take this and run with it. 782 00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:04,388 Start to put onto paper, literally and figuratively, 783 00:47:04,421 --> 00:47:08,325 that this is the pathway we want to go in. 784 00:47:09,326 --> 00:47:12,462 [Diane:] Well, thank you so much for this lovely conversation. 785 00:47:12,462 --> 00:47:14,431 It was really interesting. 786 00:47:14,998 --> 00:47:15,933 [Alexia:] Thank you. 787 00:47:16,033 --> 00:47:20,604 [Diane:] Yeah, I think we will see each other at another RAMPD event sometimes. 788 00:47:20,737 --> 00:47:23,173 [Alexia:] Absolutely. Many, many coming forward. 789 00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:25,242 But thank you so much for having me. 790 00:47:25,242 --> 00:47:30,480 I'm really grateful for this space to share my journey as all of the above, 791 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:34,985 musician, educator, advocate, navigating a disability. 792 00:47:36,053 --> 00:47:42,025 If I could leave a quick message to those listening is that we don't have to 793 00:47:42,059 --> 00:47:46,563 separate our artistry from our advocacy. They can coexist. 794 00:47:46,563 --> 00:47:48,632 They could feed on each other and 795 00:47:48,632 --> 00:47:51,235 can inherently make our work much more powerful. 796 00:47:51,235 --> 00:47:56,139 I'm excited to keep learning and collaborating and pushing towards 797 00:47:56,139 --> 00:47:58,775 a better version of myself, whatever that looks like, 798 00:47:58,809 --> 00:48:01,345 and I hope that others can do the same. 799 00:48:01,345 --> 00:48:03,180 Again, thank you so much for having me, Diane. 800 00:48:03,180 --> 00:48:04,414 It was a pleasure. 801 00:48:04,414 --> 00:48:06,783 [Diane:] Thank you so much, and see you soon. 802 00:48:08,218 --> 00:48:13,223 ♪ Closing theme music ♪