1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,139 ♪ Opening theme music ♪ 2 00:00:13,613 --> 00:00:17,717 Hello, and welcome to this episode of ArtsAably in Conversation. 3 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,919 My name is Diane Kolin. 4 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:25,458 This series presents artists, academics, and project leaders who dedicate their 5 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:31,297 time and energy to a better accessibility for people with disabilities in the arts. 6 00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:36,469 You can find more of these conversations on our website, artstably.com, 7 00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:42,008 which is spelled A-R-T-S-A-B-L-Y dot com. 8 00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:48,181 ♪ Theme music ♪ 9 00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:56,990 Today, ArtsAbly is in conversation 10 00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,092 with Louann Carnahan, who is 11 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:05,098 a neurologist, specialized in epilepsy and an accomplished classical pianist. 12 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:09,335 You can find the resources mentioned by Louann Carnahan during this episode 13 00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:12,972 on ArtsAbly's website in the blog section. 14 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:22,048 ♪ Frédéric Chopin's Fantaisie-Impromptu ♪ (Short excerpt) 15 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:45,238 Welcome to this new episode of ArtsAbly in Conversation. 16 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:51,010 Today, I am with Louann Carnahan, who is a neurologist specializing in epilepsy 17 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:54,214 and an accomplished classical pianist. 18 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,982 Welcome, Louann. 19 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,817 Hello. 20 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,320 Thank you for being here. It's amazing. 21 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:05,091 I've followed your Instagram for a long time, and I'm very excited 22 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,494 to have this conversation with you. 23 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:11,698 I'm very honored that you're having me on here. 24 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:17,203 Okay, so I always start by asking my guests to present themselves. 25 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,572 Where did you come from? 26 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:22,509 Where did the music start in your life? 27 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:26,045 Because I know that it started early. 28 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:26,913 Sure. 29 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:34,020 So I was born in Taiwan, but my mom took my brother and I to the United States 30 00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:38,758 when I was two and a half, so I grew up in the United States. 31 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:44,731 And so that's how I have the straight standard American accent. 32 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:49,102 My piano life got started when I was five. 33 00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:51,070 I started taking lessons. 34 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,607 It was, of course, an Asian thing to do. 35 00:02:54,641 --> 00:03:01,014 My mom, back in Taiwan, she grew up in 36 00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:04,884 more poor setting, and so she 37 00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:07,720 always wanted to take lessons, but they didn't have the money. 38 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:11,257 So of course, she put us in lessons. 39 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,861 So that's how I got put in the lessons. 40 00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:19,499 I took lessons all the way up until high school graduation. 41 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:24,237 In the beginning years through elementary school, of course, 42 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:27,507 I wasn't very serious about it. 43 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:31,311 There was even a time where my older brother got put 44 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:34,080 in lessons around the same time. He's four years older than me. 45 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,483 He stuck with it for only two 46 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:41,788 years, and he was clamoring to quit. 47 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:45,258 Around the same time, I guess I was the same way. 48 00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:51,230 I was non-motivated to practice, and so I was also fighting to want 49 00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:52,498 to be able to quit, too. 50 00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:58,004 I think it was especially probably between second to fourth grade 51 00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:59,772 or something like that. 52 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:03,977 But my mom just refused to let me quit for whatever reason. 53 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:07,080 So I pushed through lessons. 54 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:12,252 I think it was to the point where it was a situation of probably 55 00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:18,358 wasting time and money from the lessons just because I wasn't really practicing. 56 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,627 But anyway, she refused to let me quit. 57 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:23,529 And then around sixth grade 58 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:28,568 is when I finally got more serious about practicing. 59 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,537 It was actually because I was forced to. 60 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:35,375 My parents have a manufacturing business in China, so they were constantly 61 00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:38,278 traveling internationally when I was young, 62 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,346 starting from elementary school age. 63 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,615 And so when I was in sixth grade, she 64 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:47,620 found a couple through church, and they 65 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:53,693 became surrogate-type parents, guardians, so that we would stay with them. 66 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:55,795 We would live with them during the school year. 67 00:04:55,795 --> 00:05:01,434 They came and stayed in the house that was just like our neighbor, 68 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,935 like next door neighbor. 69 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:07,874 I was in this weird situation of bouncing between two houses. 70 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:14,113 My parents basically will be gone nine months, the whole academic school year. 71 00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:20,687 We would basically live at these surrogate parents house. 72 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,022 They would come home, maybe... 73 00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:27,593 My own parents would come home maybe once every few months just 74 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,062 for a little a little bit. 75 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:32,832 We would stay in our own home, regular home. 76 00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:35,768 It was this weird situation of bouncing between homes. 77 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:41,207 But anyway, so when we started staying with the surrogate parents, 78 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,310 we called her aunt Judy and uncle Bud. 79 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,912 That's in our Chinese culture, 80 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:52,919 where for respect any older generation, 81 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:57,490 outside the family, even, we would call a woman aunt or our uncle. 82 00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,360 So they were aunt Judy and Uncle Bud to us. 83 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,929 And aunt Judy was pretty strict. 84 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,698 And so she forced me to practice. 85 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:12,171 And of course, when you practice, you tend to get better. 86 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:17,510 And so then because I was forced to practice, I started making progress. 87 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:24,951 And starting around middle school age, you start to feel more motivated 88 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:29,956 to keep going once you start to feel like you're getting a little bit better. 89 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:35,394 My teacher was proud and stuff, so I felt like I was 90 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:37,497 accomplishing something on the piano. 91 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:41,667 Then that's how I really got more momentum. 92 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:47,707 I did the State Music Association, 93 00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:50,410 the federation, Music Teachers Federation. 94 00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:57,350 I did those, the state, whatever those federation association. 95 00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,653 It's not really a contest, but that sort of thing. 96 00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:06,592 Then I also did just local or regional actual competitions. 97 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:12,598 That came more so in high school age when I was, again, more serious. 98 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:16,702 I was pretty serious 99 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:20,940 about it for being a student. 100 00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:28,815 I did go to a few state-level competitions 101 00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:32,585 toward the last maybe three years of high school. 102 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:33,653 I placed. 103 00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:35,154 I never got first. 104 00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:41,494 I never won a competition, but I would usually get second place or third place. 105 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,695 And a couple... 106 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:46,966 One of the competitions, I think I went two years in a row, and that was 107 00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:52,338 a regional, a few states, across three or four states in my region. 108 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:59,278 So I guess that's the spectrum of my competition career in high school. 109 00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:03,316 So that was the level, I guess, of playing. 110 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:07,753 My hands are very small, so I only can barely reach an octave. 111 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:13,759 So my teacher had to really select repertoire very carefully. 112 00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:18,831 I didn't find this out until just recently, a couple of years ago. 113 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:24,036 But we met up and she told me that she had a hell of a time trying to find 114 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:28,741 repertoire for me to play because I couldn't play the standard, 115 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:34,947 advanced high school student repertoire, the Beethoven Sonatas or Rachmaninoff or 116 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:37,783 something like that, or Schubert even. 117 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,852 I managed to learn it in med school. 118 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:45,658 I actually learned how to stretch out my handspan slightly. 119 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:50,596 So I can reach an octave better now 120 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,832 as an adult than back then when I was 121 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,300 taking lessons with my teachers. 122 00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:55,768 And my teacher was surprised. 123 00:08:55,801 --> 00:09:00,606 The reason how I ended up running into her was there was this surrogate parents. 124 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:05,544 Her daughter had a birthday, a big celebration. 125 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,812 She was also a pianist. 126 00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:09,348 I guess that's why she forced me into practicing. 127 00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:11,951 She played in church when she was younger. 128 00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:17,657 So her daughter, for her 88th birthday, 88 keys, she decided to have... 129 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:22,295 Instead of waiting to the 90th milestone birthday, she decided to have 130 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,631 a big celebration in honor of her being a pianist for her 88th 131 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:29,035 birthday, 88 keys on the piano. 132 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:32,672 So she invited me to come and give a concert. 133 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:35,508 And I had already, again, this is very coincidental. 134 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:40,279 I had already been invited to give a concert. 135 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:45,518 My aunt, my mom's sister, They wanted to have me do a concert in Taiwan. 136 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:51,624 So I had already learned a good amount of repertoire, a few pieces. 137 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:56,295 And so I played that same concert, 138 00:09:56,295 --> 00:10:01,400 and actually, I learned Beethoven's first movement of the Moonlight Sonata. 139 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,771 So I added that in as well to the birthday party concert. 140 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:09,809 So my teacher, because it was in my hometown, my teacher was able to come. 141 00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:14,880 So over 20 some years after the fact of ending lessons, my teacher came 142 00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:18,851 and she heard me play now as an adult. 143 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:23,322 She asked me, she was like, How are you reaching? 144 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,624 Did your hand get bigger? 145 00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,258 So that's how I told her. 146 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:31,697 I was like, I figured out how to gently stretch my handspan. 147 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:36,936 Obviously, the length of the hands and the fingers, they don't change, but 148 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:40,272 just the width of how wide I can open it. 149 00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:43,075 I could feel actually the difference. 150 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:47,847 I remember when I was in high school, my left hand, especially, was tighter. 151 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:53,486 The tendons in the palm was stiffer, so I couldn't open the thumb 152 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:54,920 and pinkie width as much. 153 00:10:54,920 --> 00:11:00,326 That's what I worked on in, I guess, med school or something like that. 154 00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:05,531 Even now, I still work on making sure 155 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:09,635 to keep my finger width, handspan as 156 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:13,372 gently, limber as possible so I can maintain 157 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:18,511 the barely octave reach that I have. 158 00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:24,717 That's how my early career was as a high school student. 159 00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,552 I ended up pursuing medicine. 160 00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:29,221 Obviously, I'm a neurologist, a physician now. 161 00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:35,027 But even through med school and residency, I maintained the piano 162 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:38,164 because it's always been a part of me. 163 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,300 When you started when you're five and you stick with it for so long 164 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:46,072 and you're serious to the point of pursuing competitions in high school, 165 00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:50,342 it was something that I really felt connected to. 166 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,579 I did take a break from classical music in college. 167 00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:57,716 I ended up playing in church for the four years while I was in college. 168 00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:02,488 But then when I moved away to med school, because those four years where I wasn't 169 00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:06,192 playing classical music, then I felt like something was missing. 170 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:09,628 I really felt a calling to go back to classical repertoire. 171 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:13,032 So that in med school is when I decided to deliver back 172 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,534 into the classical repertoire. 173 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:21,040 And I ended up learning all new repertoire on my own in med school. 174 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:25,344 I always dreamed about playing those bigger pieces like I was 175 00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:26,479 mentioning in high school. 176 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:31,450 All my piano teacher's other students, they all got to play like Schubert impromptus 177 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:34,353 and the Beethoven sonatas and stuff. 178 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,689 So I just decided to... 179 00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:40,559 I guess that's when I started working on stretching my handspan. 180 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:47,233 So I taught myself the Schubert Impromptu Opus 90 No. 3. 181 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,135 I think it's number... 182 00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:50,002 Or maybe it's number... 183 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:53,839 Yeah, it's number three, the G flat major impromptu by Schubert. 184 00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:58,611 So I learned that because I remember there was one of her other students She played 185 00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:03,282 that in her recital, her senior recital. 186 00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:06,452 And I remember really loving that piece in high school. 187 00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:13,058 I did also end up learning Rachmaninoff, Prelude in C sharp minor, believe it or not. 188 00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:18,998 For me, I'm also very petite in stature. I'm only 4.8 inches, 189 00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:21,534 and then coupled with my tiny handspan that 190 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,169 just barely reaches an octave, 191 00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:26,872 of course, Rachmaninoff is just out of reach for me and the power, 192 00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:28,941 you know, the stamina that it takes. 193 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,277 But anyway, I don't know. It's a miracle. 194 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:34,780 Or it was just stubbornness because I just wanted to do it. 195 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:38,851 So I found a way to do it. What else? 196 00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:45,457 Other repertoire I learned in med school - oh, one year, I learned 197 00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:49,195 the solo Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin. 198 00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:52,698 But I had those motivations because I was already practicing in med school 199 00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:58,604 just to keep it up and to have a stress release for all the pressures 200 00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,272 of being a medical student. 201 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:03,976 My teacher had taught me so well that... 202 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:07,246 It's not that she taught me the repertoire that we worked on 203 00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:12,351 when I specifically studied with her, but I learned how to practice, 204 00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:14,653 how to learn repertoire on my own. 205 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:18,924 She really taught me so well that I was able to maintain being 206 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:19,992 a lifelong learner. 207 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:25,164 That's how I was able to go on and learn the repertoire on my own. 208 00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:31,904 Now, with the technology the world of YouTube, lots of piano professors, 209 00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:36,075 very high-quality, educated piano 210 00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:39,278 professors offer so many online classes, 211 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,982 master courses, and also free videos. 212 00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:47,353 After I learn repertoire, then I turn to 213 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:50,656 these piano professionals who offer video 214 00:14:50,689 --> 00:14:53,959 tutorials to sharpen up and get proper, 215 00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:57,963 educated master class-level advice. 216 00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:03,969 Because I didn't pursue a music degree, so I don't have the same formal knowledge 217 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,071 of repertoire or interpretation. 218 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:10,576 So that's where I still take the help of piano professionals that way. 219 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:15,114 But the mechanics, the basics of how to learn the piece initially. 220 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:18,450 My piano teacher taught me so well 221 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,887 that I just know how to approach 222 00:15:21,887 --> 00:15:24,990 digging in for the first time of a new piece. 223 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:28,360 And part of the reason why piano has really stuck me is because it really 224 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:33,399 helped get me through the time of my own medical condition. 225 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,567 I'm sitting in a wheelchair. 226 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:42,374 I have a disability, and I have a muscle disease. 227 00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,978 So It's a progressive, meaning it gets worse over time. 228 00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:48,847 It started when I was in my early 20s. 229 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:52,217 Actually, when I was in med school, when I started med school, is when the muscle 230 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:55,654 weakness started presenting itself. 231 00:15:55,688 --> 00:16:00,059 I started having leg muscle muscle weakness, like thighs and hip muscles. 232 00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:04,396 Walking tended to get very tiring. 233 00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:06,398 I couldn't climb stairs. 234 00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:13,005 That was one of the first manifestations of how it was. 235 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:19,845 And so that was when I got sent to the neurologist for a workup 236 00:16:19,878 --> 00:16:22,147 of the muscle disease. 237 00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:27,252 Well, actually, that was actually not the first time I presented to a neurologist. 238 00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:31,090 The reason why I am a neurologist and I specialize in epilepsy 239 00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:34,760 is actually because I also have epilepsy as a patient. 240 00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,096 I'm also a patient myself. 241 00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:43,402 I had my first seizure in high school during a calculus test during my senior 242 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:48,640 year, stress, sleep deprivation, all of those things are epilepsy, 243 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,442 epileptic seizure triggers. 244 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:56,014 Getting on the medicines, my seizures are under control. 245 00:16:56,014 --> 00:17:02,721 But then there was a where I ended up off seizure medicines in college. 246 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:07,926 That's how I ended up having my third seizure 247 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,595 at the beginning of medical school. 248 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,431 It was right around that time, it was at the beginning of 249 00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:13,832 the second year of medical school. 250 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:20,139 I had a seizure, again, on the day of quiz. 251 00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:24,009 It was because of the seizure, I went back to the neurologist in medical school. 252 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:28,113 That's actually when I noticed definitely something was wrong, 253 00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:30,149 something was weak about my legs. 254 00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,618 My classmates noticed as well. 255 00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:37,723 I couldn't lift my thigh off the exam table very easily. 256 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,391 I was having trouble doing that. 257 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:42,094 My classmates agree like, Yeah, that's weird. 258 00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:45,264 That's when I started the workup for the muscle disease. 259 00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:49,635 They sent me for EMGs, and then they sent me ultimately 260 00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:55,808 to a neuromuscular specialist in town, and I went and had a muscle biopsy. 261 00:17:55,808 --> 00:18:00,779 And all of this happened toward the end of second year, it takes time 262 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:03,615 to get in with all the doctors and doing the initial test. 263 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:08,320 So third year, medical school was rolling around, and that's the year that all my 264 00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:12,658 classmates were heading off to the start of their third year clinical rotations. 265 00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:19,531 But because my neurologist wanted to refer me out of state to do my muscle biopsy 266 00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:26,505 to a more specialized academic center that had a, I guess, more advanced 267 00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:29,374 pathologist to do the muscle biopsy. 268 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:35,247 She knew she had already started recommending that I go ahead 269 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:39,151 and take the entire year off because to travel all that time, 270 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:41,753 and then I would have lost too much time. 271 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:45,591 The month, whatever it is, it would have been thrown off. 272 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:49,495 Then you can't catch up because the schedule is very set. 273 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:53,398 Every month is a new rotation, and you have your whole year schedule 274 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,968 laid out and made for you. 275 00:18:56,001 --> 00:19:01,240 It becomes very - in the world of medicine, training, especially, everything is very 276 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:05,177 laid out and scheduled, and so you can't really deviate from that. 277 00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:08,213 Or if you do, I mean, of course, life things always 278 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,215 come up, but it's very hard. 279 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:15,787 My neurologist just recommended me to take off the whole year 280 00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:19,925 so I could just focus on getting the diagnostic work up. 281 00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:22,694 It was that year that I was... 282 00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,564 That was the second year of doing the piano concerts. 283 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:29,902 That was how I had so much time to practice that I was able to learn 284 00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:34,439 the Rhapsody in Blue by Gerschwin, the whole 25 minute piece. 285 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:38,176 It was cool. 286 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:45,951 That was the good thing about that year, 287 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:48,687 that whole medical diagnosis. 288 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,624 I mean, of course, that was the most difficult time. 289 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,826 I remember being at the neurologist. 290 00:19:54,860 --> 00:20:00,098 It was before she even sent me off to the muscle biopsy, but she could already tell 291 00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:07,673 from my exam findings and that she knew this was some form of progressive muscle disease. 292 00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:12,211 Right then and there, she was already recommending that I start using a mobility aid. 293 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:17,616 And I'm 20-something, early 20s, young person, and that was a big shock. 294 00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:22,387 I remember that day when she said that in the appointment. 295 00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:26,992 It's like the room became muffled. 296 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:31,129 It's like this weird sensation of I was there, I was hearing 297 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:35,901 what she was saying, but it became like an outside perspective. 298 00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:38,003 I don't know. It was the most bizarre thing. 299 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:43,175 And I guess it was just the emotional processing of it. 300 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:46,211 We came out of the appointment, I was in tears. 301 00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:50,415 Both my parents happened to be there for that appointment. 302 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,718 Luckily, they came back. 303 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:57,089 They were in the United States at the time, so they were there to support 304 00:20:57,122 --> 00:21:00,225 going for this medical appointment. 305 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,494 My mom was there along the hallway. 306 00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:07,299 She went with me when I had to go out of state for the muscle biopsy. 307 00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:11,570 Even though my parents traveled internationally, because 308 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:18,076 they were constantly in China doing business or other in Europe 309 00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:21,947 for their manufacturing business. But she was always... 310 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:24,716 When something happened, when something medical happened, 311 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,251 she would always come back. 312 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,388 The seizure that happened in medical school. 313 00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:32,457 She was in China at the time, and the seizure happened. 314 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:35,594 And of course, when you have a seizure, you can't drive temporarily. 315 00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:39,631 And the state that I lived in was the standard no driving for six months. 316 00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:43,835 And that changed everything that year because I was living off campus at 317 00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:46,438 the time, so I couldn't drive to campus. 318 00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:50,442 She came and she got me an apartment on campus where 319 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:52,177 a majority of the students live. 320 00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:55,013 And it was just you just walked across the street. 321 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:59,051 So that was temporarily, my housing was shifted. 322 00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:00,318 It was just the bare bones. 323 00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:03,689 She got me an apartment, and there was a mattress. 324 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:07,659 I probably had a kitchen table to eat and maybe study, but that was it. 325 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:12,831 It was about the most bare bones place because I had my other place 326 00:22:12,864 --> 00:22:17,235 that I lived, for the standard place. 327 00:22:17,235 --> 00:22:19,838 What about pianos? 328 00:22:19,871 --> 00:22:22,140 I did have a piano, coincidentally. 329 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,608 That's how I ended up having... 330 00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:28,080 I was practicing all this time during med school because we took 331 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,017 a little rinky-dink upright. I don't know. 332 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,118 I moved... 333 00:22:33,151 --> 00:22:35,454 Of course, this whole medical training process, 334 00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:37,389 you have to move every single time. 335 00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,958 You're changing to a new training location. 336 00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:43,862 So I took a piano with me almost everywhere I went. 337 00:22:43,895 --> 00:22:48,533 So to start on my third year clinical rotations, after I completed the muscle 338 00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:53,472 biopsy and got back on schedule to start my third and fourth year clinical 339 00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:58,043 rotations, I had to go away again out of state to do that part 340 00:22:58,076 --> 00:23:01,146 of training because our school was... 341 00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:06,017 They only had enough spots to house a third of our medical school class. 342 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:10,989 And then everybody else gets sent all across the United States. 343 00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:16,762 They have partnering hospitals, academic places that take medical students. 344 00:23:16,795 --> 00:23:23,435 A large portion of my friends had already gone up to Michigan, 345 00:23:23,435 --> 00:23:25,570 and they were already up there. 346 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:30,475 It was funny, I had - It's a lottery system. 347 00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:36,681 I had randomly been lotteried into staying on the campus in the medical school. 348 00:23:36,715 --> 00:23:39,718 But because my friends were all up in Michigan, I actually 349 00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:41,153 traded and gave up my spot. 350 00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:45,457 Because a lot of times when the people who have families, spouses in 351 00:23:45,457 --> 00:23:49,594 the same place where the medical school campus was, of course, most people 352 00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:54,499 wanted to stay there, so I actually gave up my seat to stay on campus. 353 00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:57,636 But when I moved up there for third and fourth year, 354 00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:00,005 then we took the piano up there. 355 00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:02,441 Then when I moved again to another location for residency, 356 00:24:02,474 --> 00:24:04,442 we took that same piano. 357 00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:09,414 It definitely made its way on the rounds across the country. 358 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:13,451 That's how I ended up having access to the practicing the piano all those years. 359 00:24:13,485 --> 00:24:18,990 When did your medical condition 360 00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:22,694 prevent you from playing the piano? 361 00:24:22,727 --> 00:24:28,467 I noticed in residency, my arms, 362 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:31,603 my shoulders had started getting weak. 363 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:35,707 They were already starting to get weak toward the end, later years of med 364 00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:39,511 school, but definitely in residency, probably about halfway through. 365 00:24:39,544 --> 00:24:44,316 It was probably shortly after I gave that concert at the residency 366 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:49,621 graduation ceremony for one of the upper class who graduated before me. 367 00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:54,492 I could feel that my shoulders were starting to get weak. 368 00:24:54,526 --> 00:24:58,163 I was still able to play, but then I think it my third year 369 00:24:58,196 --> 00:25:05,437 of residency that I could no longer play, or I was getting too fatigued 370 00:25:05,437 --> 00:25:07,873 to play the Fantaisie Impromptu. 371 00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:12,711 And so I knew at that point that 372 00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:15,046 the progression was starting 373 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,748 to become serious. 374 00:25:16,748 --> 00:25:23,722 And that actually made me sad to where I no longer wanted to play. 375 00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:27,058 I was still physically capable of playing at that point, 376 00:25:27,058 --> 00:25:30,028 but I knew I was losing it. 377 00:25:30,061 --> 00:25:34,766 And so probably my last year of residency, for sure, I actually just 378 00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:36,001 was not motivated at all. 379 00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:40,405 Looking at the piano just made me sad because it was a reminder that, 380 00:25:40,438 --> 00:25:43,108 again, it was yet another thing that was being taken away from me 381 00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:45,610 because of the medical condition. 382 00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:50,382 And so when I moved for fellowship, fellowship was only one year. 383 00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:54,019 And so I didn't end up taking a piano because it was only one year. 384 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:58,857 Anyway, I was already getting sad that I was losing piano. 385 00:25:59,824 --> 00:26:04,262 But then we moved finally now as my job, 386 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:08,400 my final location of where I live now. 387 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,469 Once we settled in, again, I got that itch. 388 00:26:11,503 --> 00:26:17,776 I missed piano, and I just had that need no matter what. 389 00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:19,344 I talked to my mom. 390 00:26:19,377 --> 00:26:25,250 I said, Is it worth it to get a piano again here? 391 00:26:25,283 --> 00:26:32,223 Of course, the piano at home in my hometown, that's so far away. 392 00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:35,427 So it wouldn't be worth to take that piano here. 393 00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:40,999 But she was like, Well, go ahead and get it. 394 00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:43,368 If it's going to make you happy, then do it. 395 00:26:43,401 --> 00:26:45,604 You can play it for however long as you can. 396 00:26:45,637 --> 00:26:49,140 If you can only play it for a month, then that's okay. 397 00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:51,977 She said something crazy like that. 398 00:26:51,977 --> 00:26:55,914 I've always been a bit of a Steinway person. 399 00:26:55,947 --> 00:27:02,587 When I was 16, that was a milestone birthday because I came home one day from 400 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:06,291 school and like, Oh, my God, there's a Steinway grand piano in the living room. 401 00:27:06,324 --> 00:27:09,661 So that was what was at home and what I got to practice on 402 00:27:09,694 --> 00:27:12,697 all that time of being at home. 403 00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:17,035 Of course, when I moved here and I was working as an attending 404 00:27:17,068 --> 00:27:23,074 and I wanted to get a piano back, I said, Is it worth it to get a Steinway? 405 00:27:23,074 --> 00:27:25,977 Of course, being as expensive as they are. 406 00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:31,249 She gave me - Because she was supportive and she gave me permission 407 00:27:31,282 --> 00:27:35,920 to want that and saying it was okay. 408 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,490 Because I was just afraid of that it would be a waste. 409 00:27:38,523 --> 00:27:41,259 You spend that much of an investment. 410 00:27:41,292 --> 00:27:45,063 And literally, what if I could only play a short amount of time? 411 00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:49,134 But she said, Okay, if it's going to make you happy for a month, then that's good 412 00:27:49,134 --> 00:27:50,935 enough, and that's good enough for me. 413 00:27:50,969 --> 00:27:55,073 She helped with making that purchase. 414 00:27:55,073 --> 00:28:00,845 I was very lucky to have her support. 415 00:28:01,379 --> 00:28:06,317 But because my shoulder muscle progression was getting worse, 416 00:28:06,317 --> 00:28:11,890 it did get to a point where I physically was no longer able to maneuver my arms 417 00:28:11,923 --> 00:28:18,496 around the keyboard. Also, technically, I was working full-time hours, 418 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:24,235 but I was only working part-time productivity compared to what 419 00:28:24,235 --> 00:28:27,939 the other physicians, what a typical full-time physician 420 00:28:27,972 --> 00:28:33,878 the productivity expectations and the schedule, the call schedule. 421 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:36,915 I had accommodations, actually. I was very lucky. 422 00:28:36,948 --> 00:28:42,220 I had accommodations throughout residency for the call schedule because, again, 423 00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:46,991 physically, because of the disability, because of the fatigue and the muscle weakness, 424 00:28:46,991 --> 00:28:50,962 I ended up having to approach my program 425 00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:54,866 directors and the chairman of the department at my residency program. 426 00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:57,268 I said, I'm about to quit. 427 00:28:57,268 --> 00:28:59,137 I'm physically ready to drop. 428 00:28:59,170 --> 00:29:03,475 I can't go on like this. 429 00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:07,312 Luckily, I had a very good mentor when I was a third-year medical 430 00:29:07,345 --> 00:29:10,482 student, and he gave me advice. 431 00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:14,185 I called him when I was about ready to drop in residency, ready to quit. 432 00:29:14,219 --> 00:29:19,591 He said, Well, why don't you approach your program director and see 433 00:29:19,624 --> 00:29:21,960 if there's something they can do to help? 434 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,495 That surprised me. 435 00:29:23,528 --> 00:29:26,364 I never would have even thought that I could ask for accommodations. 436 00:29:26,397 --> 00:29:30,602 I would never have had nerve, or it just never even crossed my mind. 437 00:29:30,635 --> 00:29:33,438 I thought my career was going to be over. 438 00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:39,778 They miraculously ended up agreeing, and they made it very easy. 439 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:44,315 I didn't have any paperwork, didn't have to go through filling out FMLA 440 00:29:44,349 --> 00:29:48,453 forms, didn't need a doctor's note to say I needed it in writing. 441 00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:51,789 Of course, they could see. I was riding around on a scooter. 442 00:29:51,789 --> 00:29:57,128 At that time, I was able to get up and walk. 443 00:29:57,162 --> 00:30:01,733 I'm still in ambulatory wheelchair user, so while I need the wheelchair, I'm 444 00:30:01,733 --> 00:30:04,569 much more reliant on the wheelchair now. 445 00:30:04,602 --> 00:30:07,939 I can only walk a very short distance. 446 00:30:07,972 --> 00:30:12,477 But back then, I was able to get up out of the chair or the scooter 447 00:30:12,510 --> 00:30:15,613 I I used the scooter at the time to ride around the hospital. 448 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:19,918 But I could go in the hospital rooms and clinic and do an exam on the patient. 449 00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:24,789 So all of the actual pertinent stuff that we needed to do for training and to learn 450 00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:27,592 how to do physically, I was able to do. 451 00:30:27,625 --> 00:30:32,597 It was just the call schedule that was too hard on my body, too fatiguing, 452 00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:36,968 because I had actually gone through intern year doing all the same schedule. 453 00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:38,636 I didn't say anything. 454 00:30:38,636 --> 00:30:43,274 I never even brought up the need for accommodations up until that point. 455 00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:48,546 Even as an intern, the only thing I ever had to do was I had to find a spot 456 00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:50,848 to put my scooter at the hospital. 457 00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:54,219 Even then, I never officially requested anything. 458 00:30:54,219 --> 00:30:59,224 I just picked a spot in the intern the call room that first year, 459 00:30:59,257 --> 00:31:01,492 and I just put it there myself. I didn't ask anybody. 460 00:31:01,492 --> 00:31:04,562 It didn't really have any... There was no formal to do about it. 461 00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:08,199 Of course, no one's going to touch it. Everybody just left it alone. 462 00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:14,339 Then you would go home and have this post-call day, but you were coming home 463 00:31:14,339 --> 00:31:18,243 working from a 28-hour shift, and you would have the afternoon 464 00:31:18,276 --> 00:31:22,947 to sleep and rest, and then you would have to go back to work the next day. 465 00:31:22,981 --> 00:31:26,251 That was when I got to the breaking point at the end of my first year, 466 00:31:26,284 --> 00:31:32,090 transitioning into the start of the actual formal neurology residency year. 467 00:31:32,123 --> 00:31:35,860 That was when I was to the dropping point, and that was when I approached 468 00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:39,330 my neurology program directors and the chairman of the department. 469 00:31:39,364 --> 00:31:42,934 And there's also this sense of... you have to compensate 470 00:31:42,934 --> 00:31:46,638 when you have a disability, you have to work harder. 471 00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:49,874 I mean, I don't want to say I work harder than everybody else, 472 00:31:49,874 --> 00:31:53,578 but you have to prove yourself. 473 00:31:53,611 --> 00:31:55,046 And I felt that way anyway. 474 00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:59,450 I've always had this chip on my shoulder so I always 475 00:31:59,484 --> 00:32:02,787 felt like it was this weakness. 476 00:32:02,820 --> 00:32:06,658 Having the scooter, the mobility aid, it always felt like 477 00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:08,226 this elephant in the room. 478 00:32:08,259 --> 00:32:13,431 I guess that really motivated me to make sure that I did a good job and I learned 479 00:32:13,464 --> 00:32:15,233 what I was supposed to be learning. 480 00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:18,569 I got the evaluations that I got during intern year. 481 00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:23,107 I guess it's, again, I pushed myself 482 00:32:23,141 --> 00:32:25,977 that hard and I proved that I really 483 00:32:26,010 --> 00:32:29,180 wanted to be there and I proved that I was capable of being a hard worker. 484 00:32:29,213 --> 00:32:35,286 But my body, medical condition physically, was not going to allow it to continue. 485 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,488 But at this time, you were still... 486 00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:43,761 You were trying to get back to your Steinway too, right? 487 00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:45,063 Yeah. Well, that was, 488 00:32:45,063 --> 00:32:47,832 yes, when we moved here back to being out 489 00:32:47,865 --> 00:32:52,770 of training and when I was working, then this was a couple of years after I 490 00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:55,773 graduated fellowship, when we moved to where I'm working now 491 00:32:55,773 --> 00:32:59,243 that, yes, we did finally end up getting the Steinway 492 00:32:59,277 --> 00:33:05,683 is what I have here at home is what I'm playing on my videos on social media. 493 00:33:05,717 --> 00:33:10,054 During that time working, the beginning years of working 494 00:33:10,054 --> 00:33:14,158 as an attending, I eventually just did get to the point where I couldn't 495 00:33:14,192 --> 00:33:15,927 raise my arms to play anymore. 496 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,696 And so I did stop playing. 497 00:33:18,696 --> 00:33:23,267 But again, it was like that sense of, oh, my gosh, I can't lose piano. 498 00:33:23,267 --> 00:33:28,773 So at the same time when I was knowing in the back of my mind for mental health 499 00:33:28,773 --> 00:33:33,444 reasons, I needed to start accepting the fact that I was going 500 00:33:33,478 --> 00:33:36,114 to lose piano out of my life. 501 00:33:36,114 --> 00:33:38,416 I decided anyway to build myself. 502 00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:40,151 I came up with this harness design. 503 00:33:40,184 --> 00:33:46,357 There's a metal frame that I came up with, and I hooked up straps to it, so 504 00:33:46,391 --> 00:33:49,994 it supports my arms, dingling in the air. 505 00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:54,232 And so that facilitates me being able to move around the keyboard. 506 00:33:54,265 --> 00:34:00,538 My husband ended up figuring out how to make it. 507 00:34:00,571 --> 00:34:05,810 It's a very kind of like duck tape together. 508 00:34:05,843 --> 00:34:11,249 There's like zip ties and an elastic strap from a fabric store and 509 00:34:11,249 --> 00:34:13,951 a small dog harness that I wrap around my arms. 510 00:34:13,985 --> 00:34:17,655 It's just hanging from a metal frame that's zip-tied to the piano bench. 511 00:34:17,655 --> 00:34:19,257 I mean, very rinky-dink stuff. 512 00:34:19,290 --> 00:34:21,592 Nothing fancy or expensive at all. 513 00:34:21,592 --> 00:34:22,794 These are just very cheap materials. 514 00:34:22,827 --> 00:34:24,962 They just get anywhere. 515 00:34:24,996 --> 00:34:26,364 But anyway, he built it. 516 00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:30,068 But still, How did you... 517 00:34:30,101 --> 00:34:33,805 Okay, let's try to figure out what works, and let's just 518 00:34:33,838 --> 00:34:38,109 bring a frame and some straps. 519 00:34:38,142 --> 00:34:41,779 Between the moments where you stopped and the moment 520 00:34:41,813 --> 00:34:43,981 where you stopped and the moment where you said, Okay, I need this frame. 521 00:34:44,015 --> 00:34:45,583 How long was it? 522 00:34:45,616 --> 00:34:48,953 Probably a couple of years. 523 00:34:48,953 --> 00:34:49,487 Okay. 524 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,956 Yeah, I mean, probably a couple of years. 525 00:34:51,956 --> 00:34:56,527 But the way I figured out, I think being a neurologist and understanding 526 00:34:56,561 --> 00:35:01,666 the neuroanatomy especially the muscles, the specific muscle groups. 527 00:35:01,699 --> 00:35:05,570 I knew exactly what muscles were weak and the exact movements 528 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,506 that I needed help to maintain my arms. 529 00:35:08,539 --> 00:35:14,645 And so that's how I came up with the design of what the harness 530 00:35:14,679 --> 00:35:16,280 and the frame needed to be. 531 00:35:16,314 --> 00:35:21,119 Because in all my search, when I knew that my arms were going and I was no longer 532 00:35:21,152 --> 00:35:27,358 going to be able to play naturally, I had reached out to some local company 533 00:35:27,391 --> 00:35:30,828 who made an exoskeleton type 534 00:35:30,828 --> 00:35:35,199 for arms, to hold up arms for children. 535 00:35:35,199 --> 00:35:37,969 And so I actually did that. 536 00:35:38,002 --> 00:35:42,807 I went to the clinic here in town, and they were very gracious 537 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,309 and willing to make me the... 538 00:35:45,343 --> 00:35:48,112 It's like one of those for scoliosis, 539 00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:52,683 like a torso, a TLSO type frame. 540 00:35:52,717 --> 00:35:57,288 And then the attachments, they had this metal frame, but that device actually 541 00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:58,523 wasn't able to help me, because - 542 00:35:58,523 --> 00:36:00,758 No, because then you don't move anymore. 543 00:36:00,791 --> 00:36:02,193 It was too limiting. 544 00:36:02,226 --> 00:36:04,195 Yeah, there was no movement. 545 00:36:04,228 --> 00:36:05,863 There was no lateral movement. 546 00:36:05,897 --> 00:36:08,633 And the way that it actually held up my arms, it did not 547 00:36:08,666 --> 00:36:11,702 hold up my arms correctly. It actually put my arms this way. 548 00:36:11,736 --> 00:36:13,337 And we don't play the piano this way. 549 00:36:13,371 --> 00:36:16,807 We're up with our elbows like this in this type of a plane. 550 00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:21,479 We play the piano this way, where the arms need to be bent like this. 551 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:27,385 And so that device failed to meet my needs. 552 00:36:27,418 --> 00:36:29,554 So that wasn't able to help me with the piano. 553 00:36:29,587 --> 00:36:34,058 So that's what then I knew, okay, I need to be able to figure out something 554 00:36:34,058 --> 00:36:38,362 to hold my arm in this position because the specific muscle groups 555 00:36:38,396 --> 00:36:42,633 that's weak in me is especially the shoulder rotator cuff muscles. 556 00:36:42,633 --> 00:36:45,970 So that encompasses the shoulder, the deltoid muscle. 557 00:36:46,003 --> 00:36:48,639 That was probably the first muscle that went. 558 00:36:48,639 --> 00:36:52,743 But it also encompasses the muscles around your shoulder blade. 559 00:36:52,777 --> 00:36:55,846 So the external rotator. 560 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:59,817 So the muscles that turn your arm out that way. 561 00:36:59,850 --> 00:37:02,253 I can't do that. 562 00:37:02,286 --> 00:37:06,924 I have to push with my other hand to make it turn this way 563 00:37:06,958 --> 00:37:08,192 and to hold in this position. 564 00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:13,030 Because my elbow flexion and extension, so the bicep muscle and the tricep muscle, 565 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:17,001 when your elbow is in this position, I can hinge up and down 566 00:37:17,034 --> 00:37:18,469 like this at the elbow. 567 00:37:18,502 --> 00:37:25,343 And my wrist and my hands are completely normal strength, full strength, luckily. 568 00:37:25,376 --> 00:37:26,410 Thank goodness. 569 00:37:26,444 --> 00:37:31,849 And so the small dog harnesses that I have zip-tied, if you see from 570 00:37:31,882 --> 00:37:37,054 the videos, one cuff is here and one cuff is above my elbow. 571 00:37:37,054 --> 00:37:42,360 And it's cuffed in a way, hanging from the straps, that it holds my arms 572 00:37:42,393 --> 00:37:44,095 in this external rotation. 573 00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:49,100 But my finger strength, my hand, grip, my wrist, flexion, 574 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:53,170 extension, and all of the movement that we have here, that is normal. 575 00:37:53,204 --> 00:37:57,074 My neurologist, she's surprised. 576 00:37:57,074 --> 00:38:00,978 She didn't know I played piano until I started posting on social media. 577 00:38:00,978 --> 00:38:03,080 It's funny. 578 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,417 There was a neurologist group for women neurologists. 579 00:38:06,417 --> 00:38:08,085 They stumbled on my video. 580 00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,821 I came to an appointment and she was like, Oh, you're famous on the internet. 581 00:38:10,855 --> 00:38:15,092 She had stumbled upon my video and she's like, How are you playing? 582 00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:16,727 I was like, What is this? 583 00:38:16,761 --> 00:38:18,996 Then she was like, What? 584 00:38:18,996 --> 00:38:20,564 She held her hand up to my hand. 585 00:38:20,598 --> 00:38:22,633 Of course, everybody's hand is bigger than mine. 586 00:38:22,667 --> 00:38:26,470 She's like, Oh, my gosh, how are you playing with such small hands? 587 00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:31,809 When you started showing that you must have had a lot of questions, right? 588 00:38:31,842 --> 00:38:37,715 You decided to go on Instagram and show your story about the frame. 589 00:38:37,715 --> 00:38:41,619 How did you come up with this idea of saying, Okay, let's go live 590 00:38:41,619 --> 00:38:45,156 on social media and show this? 591 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:49,260 Well, I remember, of course, being in a... 592 00:38:49,293 --> 00:38:52,630 It was a horrible devastation. 593 00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:56,967 It's this grief when you're faced with 594 00:38:57,001 --> 00:38:59,670 this horrible news of your life changing 595 00:38:59,704 --> 00:39:04,375 and shifting from a healthy world 596 00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:07,812 to be an able-bodied person to shifting 597 00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:10,748 into this world of disability. I think it's a completely different realm. 598 00:39:10,781 --> 00:39:12,883 I feel split as a person. 599 00:39:12,917 --> 00:39:16,754 I mean, it's a very bizarre feeling that I've lived with my whole life. 600 00:39:16,754 --> 00:39:21,692 The shift in my self being able-bodied all through high school and college 601 00:39:21,726 --> 00:39:23,828 and then starting in med school. 602 00:39:23,828 --> 00:39:27,765 So I know how painful it is to go through 603 00:39:27,798 --> 00:39:31,936 that process and grief and coping. 604 00:39:31,969 --> 00:39:36,073 I had that mentor in medical school. 605 00:39:36,073 --> 00:39:42,113 Also, as part of how he helped me so much is he helped me get established 606 00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:43,347 with the therapist. 607 00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:46,250 And the therapist is who helped me 608 00:39:46,283 --> 00:39:51,889 learn how to cope and just face all of 609 00:39:51,922 --> 00:39:56,861 the difficulty, the mental, the emotional difficulties. 610 00:39:56,894 --> 00:40:01,232 She learned - she taught me how to cope with that. 611 00:40:01,265 --> 00:40:05,870 So I started posting on social media, one, because I guess I just 612 00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:12,209 wanted to help encourage other people to show what's possible. 613 00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:18,048 And to show people with disabilities that 614 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:22,319 you can dream, you can have a career. 615 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,955 I became a doctor. 616 00:40:24,955 --> 00:40:26,724 I'm a musician. 617 00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:33,330 And so I wanted to show other people with disabilities just to give a source of... 618 00:40:33,364 --> 00:40:36,700 Because for me, I didn't have that when I was going through it. 619 00:40:36,700 --> 00:40:41,572 If I would have had another person to see that, okay, life isn't over. 620 00:40:41,605 --> 00:40:45,509 There can still be a lot of possibilities that you can do, 621 00:40:45,543 --> 00:40:49,747 you can achieve, if you want to. 622 00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:53,017 You have to put in the work to do it. 623 00:40:53,017 --> 00:40:58,622 But I didn't have a role model like that, someone that I could turn to. 624 00:40:58,656 --> 00:41:03,194 Because traditionally, I feel like society, not only the physical barriers 625 00:41:03,227 --> 00:41:06,864 of having a disability with just being able to get a wheelchair to 626 00:41:06,897 --> 00:41:11,469 a public place, that's the physical side of disability, of how it's limiting. 627 00:41:11,502 --> 00:41:16,941 But then there's the social construct of the limiting factor of disability, where 628 00:41:16,974 --> 00:41:22,580 it's just this dichotomy of able-bodied society and disabled community. 629 00:41:22,613 --> 00:41:27,818 And able-bodied general society 630 00:41:27,852 --> 00:41:33,757 sees disabled people, I guess, with a certain stereotype. 631 00:41:33,757 --> 00:41:39,530 So there's not this representation out in mainstream society where you see 632 00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:44,468 teachers with the physical disability, doctors, musicians. 633 00:41:44,501 --> 00:41:51,242 Since posting on social media, I have actually - many people have reached out 634 00:41:51,275 --> 00:41:56,514 through messages and commenting on the videos that there's a whole world of us 635 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,716 musicians with disabilities I never knew. 636 00:41:58,749 --> 00:42:00,317 I thought I was alone. 637 00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:02,186 That's the way I started. 638 00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:04,054 We are a lot. I can tell you. 639 00:42:04,054 --> 00:42:06,323 There's a lot of musicians with disabilities. 640 00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:09,193 That's wonderful and that's amazing. 641 00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:11,795 I think we need more representation. 642 00:42:11,795 --> 00:42:16,967 I like seeing you on social media because 643 00:42:17,001 --> 00:42:19,236 when I learned you were a doctor, 644 00:42:19,270 --> 00:42:25,442 in disability studies, in the academic field, there is this opposition world 645 00:42:25,476 --> 00:42:28,679 between the medical and the social model. 646 00:42:28,679 --> 00:42:35,419 You are representing both the medical and the social model and being an artist. 647 00:42:35,419 --> 00:42:38,989 When you do your videos, you show how difficult it 648 00:42:39,023 --> 00:42:42,359 is to practice and how the piano... 649 00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:45,963 I love this part of one of the conversations that 650 00:42:45,996 --> 00:42:47,197 you have frequently, actually. 651 00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:51,936 I'm taking one in November, for example, where you were practicing something 652 00:42:51,936 --> 00:42:55,706 and you were saying, But why do the piano factors make these 653 00:42:55,739 --> 00:42:59,643 pianos so big with such a big - can they do something 654 00:42:59,643 --> 00:43:03,213 that would accommodate me and with my smaller hands and with my- 655 00:43:03,213 --> 00:43:04,748 Yeah, narrower keys. 656 00:43:04,782 --> 00:43:06,951 Yes, I remember the video you're talking about. 657 00:43:06,984 --> 00:43:10,554 Yeah, that was a big frustration that this is all going through my mind. 658 00:43:10,554 --> 00:43:14,792 You were even saying these pianos are built for big men 659 00:43:14,792 --> 00:43:17,161 like Rachmaninoff and Beethoven, with big hands. 660 00:43:17,161 --> 00:43:18,662 Yeah, a huge hands. 661 00:43:18,696 --> 00:43:19,697 Yeah, I remember that. 662 00:43:19,730 --> 00:43:22,833 Yeah, his hand is probably like double, like two of my hands put together. 663 00:43:22,866 --> 00:43:25,235 It's probably the size of Rachmaninoff's hand. 664 00:43:25,235 --> 00:43:30,507 But unfortunately, the modern piano was made for keys to fit that hand. 665 00:43:30,541 --> 00:43:36,513 Actually, and just not having anything to do with medical limitations, but just 666 00:43:36,513 --> 00:43:41,085 all classical pianists are affected by the size when there's actually 667 00:43:41,118 --> 00:43:45,356 the PASK. There's this organization that they're trying to advocate 668 00:43:45,356 --> 00:43:49,660 to incorporate these narrower key options into the piano world. 669 00:43:49,693 --> 00:43:52,796 I don't remember the abbreviation of what it stands for, but 670 00:43:52,830 --> 00:43:57,568 there's this PASK, is the organization 671 00:43:57,601 --> 00:43:59,803 that's trying to advocate for 672 00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:02,306 narrower key options for pianists. 673 00:44:02,339 --> 00:44:05,643 Because actually, when you look at the statistics, 674 00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:10,014 females, the average handspan of a female can only reach a ninth. 675 00:44:10,047 --> 00:44:15,853 So the Bell-shaped Curve, when most women fall in the realm of a ninth. 676 00:44:15,886 --> 00:44:20,491 And then there's this little overlap where, again, the 10% of women, 677 00:44:20,524 --> 00:44:24,962 those are the problem, traditionally, the ones who have the ability to go on 678 00:44:24,995 --> 00:44:29,733 and become famous concert pianists that we know of, Yuja Wang, 679 00:44:30,034 --> 00:44:34,071 as an example, just one example, there's many female concert pianists. 680 00:44:34,104 --> 00:44:39,810 But you have to have a certain handspan size to be able to reach the repertoire 681 00:44:39,843 --> 00:44:43,614 that is required to be a concert pianist playing these concertos 682 00:44:43,614 --> 00:44:47,117 and everything else, advance that I can never... 683 00:44:47,151 --> 00:44:49,820 I can only dream about playing, but never will be able to. 684 00:44:49,820 --> 00:44:54,692 I love the Polonaises, especially Chopin's Heroic Polonaise 685 00:44:54,725 --> 00:45:00,964 in A-flat major, Liszt's La Campanella, all of those famous pieces that 686 00:45:00,998 --> 00:45:03,400 every classical pianist can play. 687 00:45:03,434 --> 00:45:07,271 I will never be able to play that because my handspan just isn't there. 688 00:45:07,304 --> 00:45:09,940 And the same thing with men, the bell curve shape with men, 689 00:45:09,973 --> 00:45:14,678 there's this overlap of the 10 % of men, this certain population of men 690 00:45:14,711 --> 00:45:16,713 who say that they can only reach a ninth. 691 00:45:16,713 --> 00:45:20,517 So that's small for a male hand size. 692 00:45:20,517 --> 00:45:25,089 And so statistically, that's why when you look at the hand size, 693 00:45:25,122 --> 00:45:29,293 when you look at the population of people where the majority number 694 00:45:29,293 --> 00:45:33,864 of pianists fall, the modern piano size is actually not 695 00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:38,936 serving the majority number of people where their handspans fall. 696 00:45:38,969 --> 00:45:42,639 And of course, I'm in the extremely smaller size 697 00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:48,278 I'm not even anywhere near close to the size of the average female handspan. 698 00:45:48,278 --> 00:45:52,316 Those are the challenges that I face. 699 00:45:52,349 --> 00:45:56,553 It's way more handspan, width-wise, 700 00:45:56,553 --> 00:45:59,923 than even the average female hand size. 701 00:45:59,957 --> 00:46:03,727 Yeah, but then you also show how you practice and how every day 702 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,130 it gets better like everybody else. 703 00:46:06,163 --> 00:46:10,901 Practice your piano and every day, you get a little bit better. 704 00:46:10,934 --> 00:46:16,907 Your Instagram channel is full of either these videos where we 705 00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:18,876 see you practice or these videos 706 00:46:18,909 --> 00:46:25,182 where we see you in your context of life. 707 00:46:25,215 --> 00:46:27,918 I love that. 708 00:46:27,918 --> 00:46:29,720 I'm so glad. 709 00:46:29,753 --> 00:46:33,190 I'm glad that it resonates with you and hopefully 710 00:46:33,190 --> 00:46:34,791 that it resonates with other people. 711 00:46:34,825 --> 00:46:41,398 Yeah, I heard because there was a couple of videos where, being in the classical 712 00:46:41,398 --> 00:46:46,970 community, there's a certain minority of elite of certain opinions that 713 00:46:47,004 --> 00:46:50,941 are hard, critical of other musicians. 714 00:46:50,974 --> 00:46:56,880 If you don't show the video in top performance, 715 00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:00,851 performance level quality playing, 716 00:47:00,851 --> 00:47:02,686 it's like you're going to get eaten alive. 717 00:47:02,686 --> 00:47:05,055 There was a couple of videos where people were just, That is horrible. 718 00:47:05,055 --> 00:47:06,223 You're horrible. 719 00:47:06,256 --> 00:47:11,495 And they're criticizing the speed, the tempo, and then the technique. 720 00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:14,698 I mean, everybody's got an opinion There is this... 721 00:47:14,698 --> 00:47:21,271 One commenter mentioned that, Hey, they appreciate the fact that I show 722 00:47:21,305 --> 00:47:24,908 normal life and how the real process is. 723 00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:31,381 It sounds not good and perfect and performance level in the beginning. 724 00:47:31,415 --> 00:47:33,550 It's okay to show that. 725 00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:35,352 I'm glad that that resonates with you. 726 00:47:35,385 --> 00:47:37,454 I suggest you do you. 727 00:47:37,454 --> 00:47:41,658 And that you don't care about the others. 728 00:47:41,758 --> 00:47:48,232 No, It's great, but it's social media, so 729 00:47:48,265 --> 00:47:52,035 everybody has an opinion on everything. 730 00:47:52,069 --> 00:47:55,305 But yeah, no, I think it's fascinating. 731 00:47:55,339 --> 00:47:59,209 It's full of little details of things that a pianist 732 00:47:59,243 --> 00:48:01,578 lives every day, so that's great. 733 00:48:01,612 --> 00:48:04,915 But especially seeing you play with this frame, for me, 734 00:48:04,948 --> 00:48:07,517 it was like, That's really brilliant. 735 00:48:07,517 --> 00:48:12,456 It's really like, Okay, let's remove the problem that is causing my arms 736 00:48:12,489 --> 00:48:18,662 to not hold and let's use the hands and let's use a basic frame. 737 00:48:18,695 --> 00:48:20,631 I love that idea. 738 00:48:21,431 --> 00:48:23,967 I want to go a bit further on that. 739 00:48:24,001 --> 00:48:27,604 Do you have any projects that you are working on, 740 00:48:27,638 --> 00:48:30,340 now that we know you on social media? 741 00:48:30,374 --> 00:48:34,678 Yeah. I happen to be recording. 742 00:48:34,678 --> 00:48:37,080 I recorded, actually, I completed it. 743 00:48:37,114 --> 00:48:39,916 I worked on it for three days this week, actually, so it's 744 00:48:39,950 --> 00:48:41,351 very coincidental timing. 745 00:48:41,385 --> 00:48:47,824 I'm very lucky that I met you and we get to be having this conversation. 746 00:48:47,858 --> 00:48:51,361 But I recorded it, and I want to try to 747 00:48:51,361 --> 00:48:55,999 release and make a public debut 748 00:48:56,033 --> 00:49:00,804 as a recording artist and release the Chopin's Nocturne, Opus 9, 749 00:49:00,837 --> 00:49:05,575 number 2, in E-flat major, to release it to streaming platforms. 750 00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:07,444 And that is a whole new ball game. 751 00:49:07,477 --> 00:49:09,947 I don't know anything about it. 752 00:49:09,980 --> 00:49:14,318 Again, YouTube, tutorials, I learned and little snippets here and there from 753 00:49:14,351 --> 00:49:16,887 people's videos who explain the process. 754 00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:21,258 I had to delve into more online tutorial videos about 755 00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:25,796 the audio engineering side of putting out 756 00:49:25,796 --> 00:49:29,800 a recording of decent quality. 757 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:34,638 Words like compression and just even 758 00:49:34,671 --> 00:49:37,240 the microphone position and micing 759 00:49:37,274 --> 00:49:40,877 a piano is way more complicated than 760 00:49:40,911 --> 00:49:45,649 whatever, other settings potentially. 761 00:49:45,682 --> 00:49:50,554 Technically, I only have the one mic, and so I'm not technically 762 00:49:50,554 --> 00:49:52,689 recording in stereo. 763 00:49:52,723 --> 00:49:55,792 Don't tell the streaming platforms that. 764 00:49:55,792 --> 00:50:00,497 Hopefully, they'll still accept it. But all of those things in all these terms 765 00:50:00,530 --> 00:50:03,100 that I just have no knowledge of, and I don't know any about thing 766 00:50:03,100 --> 00:50:04,501 about the postproduction side. 767 00:50:04,534 --> 00:50:09,172 This is very much, I guess, analogous to my harness. 768 00:50:09,172 --> 00:50:12,909 It's like this Ricky Dink, zip tie situation. 769 00:50:12,909 --> 00:50:17,814 My brother is the one that got me this microphone, this new one. 770 00:50:17,814 --> 00:50:22,018 He got it for my birthday last year, which I was sitting around with not 771 00:50:22,018 --> 00:50:25,021 doing anything with it because I didn't know how to use it. 772 00:50:25,055 --> 00:50:28,358 Anyway, when he visited, he came from Thanksgiving, and he was like, 773 00:50:28,358 --> 00:50:30,894 We need to get you set up with this microphone. 774 00:50:30,894 --> 00:50:35,699 We worked through it, we set it up, made it work with my phone. 775 00:50:35,699 --> 00:50:39,669 It's one of those USB mics, and it comes with an app. 776 00:50:39,703 --> 00:50:42,439 In the app, you have all of these settings, 777 00:50:42,439 --> 00:50:43,807 and that's what I didn't know anything about. 778 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:48,879 I had to go to YouTube and look for the online tutorial explanations. 779 00:50:48,912 --> 00:50:51,114 That's what I was doing this week. 780 00:50:51,148 --> 00:50:54,284 I was learning how to tweak this and that, and then the amount 781 00:50:54,317 --> 00:51:00,290 of reverb and, I guess, the timbre or how much the tone quality. 782 00:51:00,323 --> 00:51:02,392 All of that is through this app. 783 00:51:02,426 --> 00:51:03,727 I managed to complete that. 784 00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:05,762 I recorded for three days this week. 785 00:51:05,796 --> 00:51:11,635 The minute you push the record button, it's like you forget how to play. 786 00:51:11,635 --> 00:51:14,938 You forget the piece all together. 787 00:51:14,971 --> 00:51:18,175 I mean, there's a bunch of starting and stopping, and then playing halfway 788 00:51:18,175 --> 00:51:21,912 through, you suddenly forget what note you're playing or you play a wrong chord, 789 00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:24,815 and then that throws you off, and suddenly you forget where you are, 790 00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:27,884 or you use a wrong fingering, and that subconsciously throws you off 791 00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:30,053 so then you have a brain fart. 792 00:51:30,086 --> 00:51:31,988 But I managed to finish the recording. 793 00:51:32,022 --> 00:51:38,094 I took some photos yesterday for the album cover, and I played around with it. 794 00:51:38,128 --> 00:51:42,666 It's me, Louann Carnahan. 795 00:51:42,699 --> 00:51:48,505 I'm releasing Chopin's Nocturne in E flat major, opus 9 number 2. 796 00:51:48,538 --> 00:51:51,408 Coming to you on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube Music, 797 00:51:51,441 --> 00:51:53,543 and all the other streaming platforms. 798 00:51:53,577 --> 00:51:54,778 Live Monday. Hopefully. 799 00:51:54,811 --> 00:51:56,179 We will put the link. 800 00:51:56,213 --> 00:52:01,017 There is a resource page with this We are going to be able to have 801 00:52:01,051 --> 00:52:04,321 the direct link and click and have your release. 802 00:52:04,321 --> 00:52:06,356 How exciting. 803 00:52:06,356 --> 00:52:10,360 Okay, I have one last question for you before we complete this interview. 804 00:52:10,393 --> 00:52:15,765 It's about people who might have counted on your life, have helped you 805 00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:20,337 figuring out some of your path, especially in the musical path, 806 00:52:20,370 --> 00:52:24,674 I would say if you have one or two people 807 00:52:24,708 --> 00:52:29,012 to think of in the in that era, 808 00:52:29,045 --> 00:52:32,249 who would it be and why? 809 00:52:32,349 --> 00:52:33,250 Well, yeah. 810 00:52:33,283 --> 00:52:36,386 Starting off in the very beginning of my life would be my mom. 811 00:52:36,419 --> 00:52:40,023 She's the one that put me in piano lessons, as Asian parents do. 812 00:52:40,056 --> 00:52:43,760 But she is also the one that would not let me quit. 813 00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,229 She was paying for two years worth of lessons 814 00:52:46,263 --> 00:52:49,065 that were a complete waste of money. 815 00:52:49,099 --> 00:52:54,104 And good or bad, I'm not to say that 816 00:52:54,104 --> 00:52:56,806 all children should be forced to do something 817 00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:58,208 that they're not enjoying at the moment. 818 00:52:58,241 --> 00:53:02,279 But for me, I was lucky that it ended up working out, and it 819 00:53:02,279 --> 00:53:04,648 is what was needed to be in my life. 820 00:53:04,681 --> 00:53:09,152 Because if I would have quit lessons, there would be no piano. 821 00:53:09,152 --> 00:53:13,557 And then I wouldn't have had piano to fall back on to help me to learn to 822 00:53:13,590 --> 00:53:20,263 cope and grieve as I was going through my own medical process. 823 00:53:20,297 --> 00:53:24,134 So my mom, first and foremost to her, Thank you for not letting me quit piano 824 00:53:24,134 --> 00:53:27,571 when I was clamoring to quit, when my brother was quitting. 825 00:53:27,604 --> 00:53:33,109 Then Aunt Judy, my surrogate parents, when she forced me to practice, 826 00:53:33,143 --> 00:53:35,812 that's when I got better. 827 00:53:35,845 --> 00:53:42,152 For sure, she played a big role in helping my progress. 828 00:53:42,185 --> 00:53:46,790 Then, of was my piano teacher, Mrs. Minasian. 829 00:53:46,790 --> 00:53:48,458 I always called her. I can't call her by her first name. 830 00:53:48,458 --> 00:53:50,193 She goes by Joyce. 831 00:53:50,193 --> 00:53:54,097 I've heard other people call her, but that's actually her middle name. 832 00:53:54,097 --> 00:53:56,600 Her, I guess, name is Mary Minasian. 833 00:53:56,633 --> 00:53:58,068 I hope you don't mind. 834 00:53:58,101 --> 00:53:59,869 I'm sharing your name. 835 00:53:59,903 --> 00:54:04,841 But Mrs. Minasian, she was my piano teacher that I took lessons from. 836 00:54:04,874 --> 00:54:06,676 I actually didn't start with her. 837 00:54:06,676 --> 00:54:09,012 I started lessons with someone else. 838 00:54:09,045 --> 00:54:14,217 I think I was with this first teacher for maybe six months or something like that. 839 00:54:14,251 --> 00:54:18,054 But my mom, because in her circle of friends, her Asian friends, 840 00:54:18,054 --> 00:54:22,225 their teacher was Mrs. Minasian. 841 00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:23,760 So my mom changed me over to her. 842 00:54:23,793 --> 00:54:26,696 And she was the one that I studied with from age six 843 00:54:26,730 --> 00:54:28,865 to my high school graduation. 844 00:54:28,898 --> 00:54:31,301 I graduated high school when I was 17. 845 00:54:31,334 --> 00:54:32,502 I have her to thank. 846 00:54:32,535 --> 00:54:36,940 My teacher just gave me such a good foundation and piano technique that I 847 00:54:36,973 --> 00:54:40,343 don't struggle with those things, how to maneuver, how to play arpeggios, 848 00:54:40,343 --> 00:54:45,015 how to play trills, how to play scales, The only thing is I struggle with octaves 849 00:54:45,048 --> 00:54:46,716 because my hands don't reach. 850 00:54:46,716 --> 00:54:51,254 So there is no point of perfecting octaves because I just can't play pieces 851 00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:53,156 that play repetitive fast octaves. 852 00:54:53,156 --> 00:54:56,092 So that is, I guess, one technique 853 00:54:56,092 --> 00:55:01,898 that I don't have any mastery level of. 854 00:55:01,898 --> 00:55:07,837 But yeah, I cannot speak highly enough of my piano teacher, 855 00:55:07,837 --> 00:55:10,140 and she taught me how to learn. 856 00:55:10,173 --> 00:55:13,977 Writing and fingering, In the very beginning, 857 00:55:14,010 --> 00:55:15,412 it's a very painstaking process. 858 00:55:15,445 --> 00:55:17,814 When I sit down to look at a piece for the first time, 859 00:55:17,847 --> 00:55:23,553 it can take hours or something as you're working your way through it. 860 00:55:23,553 --> 00:55:26,723 And then you change fingerings, you play it around and you figure out 861 00:55:26,756 --> 00:55:27,857 what works and what doesn't work. 862 00:55:27,857 --> 00:55:32,228 And then even as you play it longer and you get it faster, closer 863 00:55:32,228 --> 00:55:34,230 to speed, then you find out that that fingering doesn't work. 864 00:55:34,264 --> 00:55:36,099 So I'm constantly changing. 865 00:55:36,132 --> 00:55:40,136 Then practicing hands separate, putting hands together, dynamics, 866 00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:42,472 all of that musicality stuff. 867 00:55:42,505 --> 00:55:47,510 I mean, all of that process, she just gave me such a tremendous foundation 868 00:55:47,544 --> 00:55:52,749 that she set me up to be able to be an adult lifelong learner. 869 00:55:52,782 --> 00:55:55,251 Well, we arrived at the end of our interview. 870 00:55:55,285 --> 00:55:56,619 It was really fascinating. 871 00:55:56,653 --> 00:56:02,492 Thank you so much for sharing your story and sharing your thoughts. 872 00:56:02,525 --> 00:56:08,031 We will share also your Instagram page so that people can have a look 873 00:56:08,064 --> 00:56:10,900 at these amazing videos that you post. 874 00:56:10,934 --> 00:56:13,670 Cool. Well, Thank you very much. 875 00:56:13,703 --> 00:56:19,809 Again, I'm so honored that you reached out to me, like little me. 876 00:56:19,843 --> 00:56:24,748 I'm like nobody in the realm of social media. 877 00:56:24,781 --> 00:56:27,484 I'm so honored that you reached out. 878 00:56:27,517 --> 00:56:31,020 I know I took probably a month to get back to you. 879 00:56:31,020 --> 00:56:33,156 I know you originally reached out in December, 880 00:56:33,189 --> 00:56:36,893 but I thank you for being patient and that you didn't give up on me. 881 00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:42,132 You were so kind and still responsive and wanting to have me on. 882 00:56:42,165 --> 00:56:46,069 But I saw your email and I was like, Oh, my gosh, wow. 883 00:56:46,102 --> 00:56:49,472 That's an honor. It's an honor. 884 00:56:49,472 --> 00:56:50,573 Thank you so much. 885 00:56:50,607 --> 00:56:56,880 Well, have a fantastic day and good luck with the release. 886 00:56:56,913 --> 00:56:58,948 Enjoy. 887 00:56:58,948 --> 00:57:02,185 Thank you so much. It was very nice meeting you. 888 00:57:02,185 --> 00:57:02,919 Thank you. 889 00:57:02,952 --> 00:57:04,554 Have a good day. 890 00:57:04,554 --> 00:57:05,855 Bye 891 00:57:07,223 --> 00:57:12,362 ♪ Closing theme music ♪