Welcome to back pocket wisdom with Jackie, and
Elizabeth, where we are creating a space for
you to get real with yourself. So tune
to feel like you're just chatting with your
friends about reachable mental health and just having
fun. We got them. Fun. And look kind
of good all doing it. Hell jump.
Don't be a dick.
Yeah. I said that already.
Put it on a shirt. We already did?
Wait. I already did. So great.
If only. Only I came up with that
idea. Oh, goodness me. I mean, Mark Cuban
started with laundromat rats.
I fucking love him. I did too. My.
He is I like start. I have dinner
with somebody on Earth. He's 1 of the
people. Mh. But not gonna say like he's
the 1 because that would be like, that...
That'd be so
crazy...
Like, I love you, but, like, really? I
don't know if I wanna have dinner with
Andrew he.
Or I just wanna wanna have him look.
Elizabeth this leg and hold the dessert menu.
I have a few things in mind. No.
Don't have many many questions for you.
I've seen all I needed to see. Yeah.
I've heard all I needed to hear. And
it's led me to continuous conclusion
that my bed is not all
without you it.
Let's do some research.
Should we...
It's all code.
It's all code. That's great, statistically speaking?
Statistically speaking.
Statistically speaking,
listen, all the computer Guys,
writing code. Yeah try to decode this 1.
0.
Yeah.
Anyway,
your
tank tiktok has gotten so many hits
on my Instagram
whenever I post that I'm wearing it.
I mean, it's almost as if I'm posting
myself nude. Like people
love it. Like, swipe up. Oh my god.
But this is fantastic.
And
it's so funny to me because people that
I haven't spoken to in years that way
I went high school with. Mh. And
they'll reach out their, like, great shirt.
Soon, it will be available on the inter
web nut. Do you know someone also responded
and was, like,
false advertising. It's not on her website, and
I'm not trying to be a dick, and
I was like,
Okay. Wrong person to D.
Yeah. I didn't say it was available yet.
No. I didn't say it was available
between the line. Read data lines. Yeah. Dick.
So I wear the shirt,
and I wear it with intention, and I
don't know if it's the shirt that causes
people to be nice to me
or that I'm actually
just that much nicer when I wear it
because
I'm going to call yes,
Nordstrom,
Nordstrom. Not the rack. Oh, no. Not the
rack. Nordstrom.
I went with my children for the first
time ever to the
Boca Town Center mall in doors room bless
you. Yes.
And I'm
I... They're at this age that I was
like, why don't we get clothes that? I
mean, I've gotten away with not buying them
pretty much it a lot of stuff.
They have athletic wear. They love their soccer
jersey,
and that's their their go to. And there's
a ton athletes do it. They probably just
put on there athletic ware to go. I
mean, I mean, the kids also.
And easy. I would love for them to
just you know, discover a style and whatever.
So I chose on a hot florida day
to go to the mall, and I didn't
have a lot of time, but I had
enough time to go to Nordstrom and try
what's the store ab... Abe comment.
Yeah. Have car, whatever. Okay. So all the
broke my heart used to stand outside.
We hit the mother load. My kids love
this little little stand in Nordstrom, and they
were like, vans, t shirts,
not my sun van, but the brand. And
then psycho bunny and quick sliver and all
this like, oh, I'm like, oh, my gosh.
Boom We that my grab, all the great
stuff, be whatever... We try it all on.
Everything fits, I go to the cash register.
Guess what?
I don't hold a Nordstrom credit card, and
I can't buy anything that is in my
pile.
Wait. What? Yes. What? You're lying. I'm not
effing kidding you. I was so effing pissed.
Okay This is so funny because this woman
Bethany Frank, I, f love her. Yeah. She's
on the real house fives in New York.
Then, moved on to do, like, really cool
stuff. Mh. She's all over Tiktok. And, I
mean, like, now she has a podcast, like,
talking about divorce. Like, oh, wow I'm really
talking about. Like, she's just cool. Like, she
she gets a little controversial, and she's got,
like, I really give a shit. This is
my opinion. You're following me... Like, she's she
she cracks me up. And she goes
fuck gucci.
Or what was it? Yeah. I think it
was Gucci. I mean, correct me if I'm
wrong. But... And she goes, I went in
there, so you know, looking like a regular
fucking person. She goes I didn't know, but
I was gonna meet the president.
She goes, I went out there to go
in and they wouldn't let me in the
store. Why? She goes to then I decided
to do an Chanel. I think it chanel.
Great. She goes, to then I decided to
do an experiment, and she goes... So I
I get dropped off by my driver.
The next day. I'm dressed up. It's the
same guy. I mean, lets me right in.
And I turn around and I looked at
them and I go, big mistake, huge.
Oh, just like pretty woman. Like do work
off commission? Yeah. She went back. Yeah. I
with the bags and they go, And she
goes they can stay huge. It goes Julie
Roberts. Fuck you.
Oh, my gosh. She's my hero. Like, really
remind. So my hero. I'm so... I...
Absolutely
upset. We don't, like, regular people money using...
Yeah. So I was like, I don't care
about the sale.
I will pay full price. Give me give
me my fucking clothes. Right. And I didn't
say fuck. So I... I... There 1 person
was wanting to help me. Shoes a gem,
their other guy... It was another gem. Totally
guy. Yeah. They have conflicting stories. The 1
guy goes, you should just take pictures of
of it. And then,
make to make sure that you get what
you want on on Friday. I'm like, what's
Friday. Yeah. And you think I'm about the
main back? Yeah. Anyway, my kids really look
in in the clothes. So I did... The.
How'd you get the clothes? Okay. I didn't
walk out with the clothes, but I said
to him. I'm like, listen,
I'll come back on Friday if you hold
these clothes, and I will get the... Because,
apparently, I had a credit card, but Friday,
they decided I didn't have 1, whatever. I
don't know. I I mean, who cares. Whatever.
Blah blah blah blah blah. Point is. I
wear my don't be a dick on Friday.
When I came back
that is so funny. So I walked in
the town center mall with my don't be
addiction.
And I was ready. I was I was...
I had it turned on, like Nlp style
all the way. Like, I'm getting what I
want and walk out of there with my
clothes. Yeah. Wait for my son. Mh. And
so anyway, I end up like. I'm like,
oh, look at your shirt. Hi. I'm making
friends of the whole damn place.
You can't in on the meat.
Love me make this like stop. Okay. You
love me. You love me. You love me.
So... And I have a happy visit. The
earring look I yes. And I god it
was so cute. So... We, if you guys
wanna see this, you gotta go look at
our instagram post a really cool video. Yeah.
And in the video, obviously saying really important
information we could get to, but, like, you
looks and so so. It was so fun.
I love and I love my pants. It's
fun, so I had the whole get up
on. Right?
And
I end up anyway. 45
minutes later. They're like, you do not have
a card You did... You do not have
access to the sale. You you we cannot
give you... We can't even give you these
clothes because they're only for sale peep... For
people that have
I was like, I'm like, I I looked
at the lady. I said,
I can't believe, and I I kept myself
cool. And I think the shirt made me...
Because I didn't wanna dis... I didn't wanna
not represent.
I can't believe I'm going to be walking
out of the store without my children's clothes.
Yes.
And then my and harder.
Okay. So then
my alarm goes off because I always said
an alarm because I on my phone out
because I... I gotta take my birth and
you're all. Yeah.
And I... And I... And and she goes,
well, you can you can sign up for
a Nordstrom card. I go, I guess, I'll
have to do that, and then my alarm
goes off off.
And
and I said, oh, I can't.
This is my alarm to go pick up
my children.
Empty handed.
You like I'm also gonna have to tell
them that Santa isn't real today? Oh, my
god.
My god.
I'm gonna have to tell them that,
I just like you know, Jackie, San is
real. Don't even ever see it.
Obviously,
my goodness. I saw. It's a spirit cheer
fashion 1 time. He setting up a Christmas.
Spirit.
I am... Anyway, it... The lady, the lady.
She said, I'm gonna just trust that you're
gonna get a card another time, and I
will give you the full sale price so
you can get out of here with the
clothes.
And this was the lady that I made
friendly with. And I didn't know she was
the manager, but she was the manager.
And we both were talking about our happy
face. It's just so good. Happy faces. Is
that right. So I remember... I mean, you
kind of always said don't be a dick.
Right? And I remember the first meeting for
the self care workshop that I did,
the...
Not the 1 that I coached. Yeah. The
1... 0. Sorry. I almost just tip to
over.
You handed it out stickers. Yeah amy sticker,
and it said don't be dick and like
this is so funny, man. Like... Yeah. This
is right on. Cool, cool, cool
And from ever that moment,
it kind of stayed in my mind because
my mom always says be kind, and there's
a difference between being nice and being kind.
Mh. And kind is a character trait. Mh.
And nice is something you can be. Yeah.
And not really mean it. So
But I never really like, knew how to
summarize that. And then when I got my
own shirt because, yeah, I have the sticker,
but, like, it's not as in my face
as my shirt is sits in my drawer,
and I get to see the pretty rainbow.
And then I'm like, wait, like, it's super
cute,
and I wanna wear it to bed because
I mean, have good drinks. And I don't
know don't wanna wake up, and I'm gonna
wear her to cook coffee. I mean, I
yeah. Love the shirt. And
Ever since I got it, I just look
at people and I go, I you don't
be a dick. That's bottom line. And people
back up. Like, my niece. I went to
South Carolina to, see them. U. She's she
just from 17, which is bizarre. And I
looked at her and we're talking. She's she's,
you know, going into her senior year, and
I go Lana, you know, was very interesting.
And I, I'm not that much older than
you Like, if you really think about suppose
Right I put your old.
I don't. What does that maybe ancient. I
go okay.
Well,
guess what? I don't go a style. So...
And she's like, she's like, dropped
mud.
And then she looks me and she's like,
I'm, like, you're so tan, and she's like,
yeah. Well, I'm I'm Russian and Italian, and
I go, so slow down.
G looks me and she goes, you're so
old,
and I go whatever. And anyway, and I
looked at it. And I'm like, you know,
I'm not
that much older than you. Like,
I am. But also, when you get out
of high school and you go into college,
you'll get a glimpse of it, but when
you get out college,
like, you'll kind of just see, like, when
you work and when you when you make
new friends, like age isn't really as important
as it feels. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I was
like, but you're you're the bacon in the
school. And that's so fun. Like, yeah. I'm
so excited whatever. She stuff like,
what? And I'm like, just, you know, remember
that
I wasn't
the most popular in high school, and I'm
killing it now.
Whether it's true or not and I golf
you are. And, you know,
Just don't be a dick.
And she just looked me to goes, no
like, I totally love that.
Oh, my gosh. It's like, young and.
I was, like, it's giving,
take a breath, and she goes, no 1
even really says that anymore. And I'm like
oh my god. Body lot getting it. I
love you. You guys. Bye so good. I
have that, like, inner dialogue with myself every
day, and
I think I, like, talked about this a
couple months ago when I was like, having
Road rage,
and then I just start laughing after. I'm
like, it's so ridiculous.
And, like, come on, Jackie. Like, it's just
about being impatient. But when I find myself
feeling, like, reactive
and frustrated for
whatever's is going on in my external. I
just, like, say those...
Don't be that. Alright. Forward. But, like,
if 8 doesn't count, it's... Those are my
3 words, Yeah That if he says to
me. Don't be Dick. Oh.
Like
be a low or... Okay. So let me
let me tell you because, you know, how
you... When you
meditate, you get these, like,
full blown
dislocation. No. My fucking trend. And, like, stories
and she's... Since you can journal and you're
like, oh my Gosh.
Pages and Like that the story is. Yeah.
I need to take a deep breath. Like,
and Mine just said, breathe.
I know. Well, that's why how I got
the shirt. Did you mean? Don't be dick.
Yeah.
Exactly how. It was like, boom,
like just that simple.
It's really just that simple. It really... And
it really keeps things very simple. Mh. So
how do you know
that you're round
quote quote, dick. Right. And when you're not
around a dick.
I think that
Listen. There are many layers, and I won't
even get that deep. I mean, there's a
layer of somebody super defensive. Somebody does take
accountability. Someone doesn't uphold their integrity. Someone plays
the blame game. Someone is trying to lie
and manipulate
you could go down a sort of rabbit
Oh, man. And when you're all... When you're
saying all of that, my energy is like,
oh
like you feel,
a total pit in your Oh, yeah. It's
a gut feeling like you go. Got. You
go yourselves.
Freaking got. Guts. You got good. Got guts.
Gl hot. Baby.
Go bless. Oh, wow
Listen when we talked last week, you can
be told you to go trust yourself. I
know.
A gut feeling is super
important in that,
just because your body will communicate with you.
And
it's literally, like, when somebody says, like, if
you're you're...
If this is dating is so huge right
now in the culture right and talking about
it. And it's, like, if you feel that
something's off with somebody,
trust that feeling. Mh. And then you have
roles that come out and guys to that
come out years later and they're like, I
dated this girl or I dated sky, and
I always felt like something was off, but,
like, never really understood it until I broke
up, and I found out that he kills
or like, oh.
Like like god. No. Ted tiktok takes you
down on rabbit at hole. Whoa.
My god. Why do mean think you're gonna
say that? I mean, like, let's to a
hundred.
He collects baby rabbits. I mean, I get,
I was like,
I was like grateful for. I was thinking.
I was thinking, like, something weird not like,
murder lenny some of vice and men. I
didn't wanna hurt anybody.
Oh my god. Yeah. No. Like, people are
crazy.
Just they'll lights stand on the street of
South Florida.
Every now and then. Yeah. If you, like,
ever contemplating the state of few. I I've
decided this stop standing on the corner a
long time ago. Because career. Yeah. It's too
recently. I
I'm behaving myself right now. It's a good
Yeah. And and
moral of the story is
sometimes you don't have immediate evidence as to
why you're getting a gut feeling that something's
off, but something will come out where you're,
like, holy shit. I knew that I was
weird, and it wasn't because it's breath and
smell good. It's because, you know, he's crazy.
Yeah it's because look at her. She's a
wack up or, like, whatever the case is.
Right? So
How do you know if you're some... Around
somebody that's a dick? Yes. It's a total
energy thing. You just... And it's a gut
feeling thing. What if you're the dick? Then
everybody around you is wrong? And you're always
and your always the only right person in
every single situation and you're like, Yeah. No.
Why me? Everybody hates your your
victim. And and
everybody's wrong. Yeah. And you just can't even
comprehend. The fact, how or Is everybody. So
how am I the only smart person in
the room of every room I walk into?
Oh, wow. Okay. So I have this. And,
I know we weren't... We didn't know we
were gonna discuss this, but we were gonna
discuss it. Yeah. That just kinda came to
me. How about
if you actually do a dick move
and you want to recover from it.
Like, you need reparations. What do you mean
reparations? Like, I don't even know if that's
a word, It's okay. Okay. We're
I want to repair.
Oh, yeah. We're gonna look that up in
a dictionary. I got it.
I saw you're gonna say
representation.
Define preparation. The
Making amend for a wrong 1 has done.
For a wrong. 1 has done by ping?
Yeah. Paying your... Paying your data. Really cool.
So I think that that comes with a
layer of self awareness. Right? You have be
aware of what you've done. Yes. You have
to acknowledge that what you did wasn't necessarily
nice or wasn't wasn't from your highest, be
decision make Yeah. Hi decision. Yeah. And I
think a lot of it is taking accountability
and upholding integrity and just, you know,
relaying that message authentically, and,
know, I don't mean to be so redundant
with those 3
traits. Just... I think that they are really
relevant in a lot of situations.
And you look at someone and you say,
you know, oh, I actually wait. I have
a
story about this that happened this weekend. Tell
me.
So
I
was super stressed out on Saturday.
I was trying to clean and get everything
ready.
And my boyfriend wanted to go play Pickle
ball.
Has a bond fence. I
I have a pickle ball partner. I know.
And I wanted to go play Pickle ball.
But I wasn't gonna get done cleaning in
time, and I was totally getting anxious. And
my... I was, like, I was having, like,
energy where I'm, like, holy, shit I haven't
felt like, this chaotic in a while and
it's me. And then I'm like, great. He's
not even helping.
And why... What is he doing? Just sitting
there? Doesn't he see that I'm trying to
do all these things? Blah blah blah. And
then I'm like, but I... Did I ask
him for help, and I'm like, no. So
stop. And then he's like, alright. Well,
know, We kinda have to go. We have
to be there by 10, And I'm like,
can you tell them that we can be
there at 10:30.
And he's, like, well, no. I mean, they
wanna go on the boat after and, like,
wanted to go at eights. So we removed
it to 10, and I'm like, you can't
wait a half hour.
And he's, like,
well,
he and he just didn't wanna let them
down. We already postponed it, And I'm like,
it's fine just go. And he's like, okay.
Well, what's your Et. I'm like, I'm not
going. And And he's, like, you're not going
and I go,
no. Like, I can't finish in time.
And really, I just didn't in a lot
in time for myself. I'm like, just go,
I'll see you on the boat after. And
he's like, it's 01:00 realistic time, and I'm
like, yeah. And I'm like, you know what?
Can you please just do me a favor
before you go and bring my bag down.
I was like, it's heavy, and I just...
Yeah. That would be helpful. Anyway, right up,
Got it down because anything else? Mc, no.
It's okay.
And then I'm, you know,
my old relationship patterns. Where I'm like, why
don't I just bring my bag. Got my
car and see if he even puts it
in there. He's already in his car is
he looking to help? Oh. And I'm doing
this thing and I hate it. Oh, god
I hate it. So he goes pickle ball
and I was, like, he are jackie. Those
are dick thinking. No. I was yeah. I
know Too. I was not feeling good. And
I'm like, you know what? And I didn't
say anything to him. Yeah. Like, I didn't
say any of this dialogue to him, but.
You he can feel... You can feel it.
Yeah. Doesn't feel comfortable to be around. Yeah.
So I'm, like, I gotta go for a
walk on the beach, and I go for
a walk on the beach, and I'm like,
it's not that, like,
what's the problem? And I'm like, you're not
communicating. Mh. And you're disappointed in yourself because
you didn't give yourself enough time. Yeah. If
you can't do everything.
You have priorities, and it's not his priority.
Mh. To
to do your job. That's not on him.
Mh. And he actually was asking you if
you needed help, and you kept saying no.
So he sat down. Like, what there did
he do wrong?
And I'm like, he didn't do anything wrong.
We go on the boat
later on that evening.
I say to him, like, listen, I wanna
apologize you.
And he's like, for what? I was like,
well, I was really stressed out today, and
he's like, yeah, I could see you, like,
we're really anxious. I... And I understand that
that's not fun or comfortable to be around,
and it goes right. I was like, and
I... And I told him exactly what I
just said. I was like, you know, I
started feeling bad for myself and blaming you
because I didn't wanna be the reason why
I couldn't go a pickle ball. Mh. I
was like, because I really wanted to go.
And he's like, really? And I was like,
Yeah. And I I caught myself doing it,
and that sucked because it really wasn't your
fault. This was my thing to do,
and I'm sorry.
And I goes, oh my. No. It's okay.
I just felt bad that you were feeling
anxious. And I go, yeah. But I'm sorry
for making you feel uncomfortable Yeah. Or for
putting you in situation where it's just not
fun to be around. Yeah. And he goes,
thank you. And I was like, do you
wanna do you wanna kiss a makeup up?
It's like, we're not fighting. And Out your
obsessed.
Feeling. But, I mean, that Let me point
out this exact. I mean, you did it.
So spot on, and I love it. The
the preparation of a relationship of a little
of a of a a dick move. How
about that? Yeah. Okay. It was a dick
move. Yeah. Not my friday that day. So...
Oh, well, you know?
Gotta blame on something
Thank you for picking that.
We acknowledge that there's a problem, and
you then you make a packed to you
and say, hey, can I can I talk
to you about it? Okay? And then you
take full responsibility
for your part.
So that you can you can really take
ownership and then make changes if you need
to adjust, level up, you know, tone it
down, whatever it is.
You
increase your self awareness. You you dove into
it. You were like, oh my gosh. Let
me just analyze a little bit.
I yeah Seeing what's going on. You just...
We wanted to get... You you were like,
you know, the detectives. Secret Mh. Age man.
Like drew. Damn. Fuck yeah. Okay. Like, that
another thing, too. Okay. Because that correlates with
that? Mh. I asked myself. I said, what
in your ideal situation
would he have done?
And I was like, I don't think he
could have done anything. And I'm like, well,
what would you like for next time? And
I said to him. I said, I think
next time if you see me that,
maybe just ask me what do you need
for me? So
it feels like you're not
ignoring me. I goes for sure. He was.
I thought I did. Yeah. And I was
like, okay. Cool. Yeah. I think he he
did. He kinda ted. Yeah. No. 01:30 percent.
So that that is when you were asking
yourself those questions and you kinda you getting
a solution, you're exercising empathy, Mh trying to
understand, like, where what would he do? What
what could I do in the situation? You
were nurturing? You ex exited
patient? Yeah. I did. Yes. Yeah. Kindness. Mh.
So you... Because you you chilled the fuck
out. Yeah. Not I I took a walk.
It's great. 5 years ago. Yeah. I would
have fucking not taking a walk. I probably
would have called you,
screaming, called my mom. Then screamed up my
mom about the situation of... Could you believe?
I just that. And they what year's me?
And then I would called my sister. He
believe, the same store I wouldn't call the
same story of, like 10 different people. Mh.
And then I would sat in that shit
feeling because... And and all you do is
create a d in your brain that makes
this of effect.
Yeah. And I like your belief system. That...
Yeah. I reinforce the negative belief system stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. So in in less than that
time, telling 10 people. Mh. You were able
to repair, and
then you both were hearing each other. Yeah.
This is what's interesting about couples too is
that, like, when you can hear each other.
That means that you're legitimately
curious
about
getting to a solution together. Oh, that's a
really
nice Really are. You're you you're curious
He's curious. And it's like, wow. And that
without without knowing that, you you create
an energy of respect
and
connectivity. Mh. So
immediately, when you get curious about 1 another,
you create that that
like, the... I feel seen I feel heard
feeling.
Okay. And that I feel hard not Do
you hear me? Yes. I feel hurt. And
and, you know, and Jj J says it's
really funny. He's like, oh, I didn't hear
what you said said, but it sounded good.
And I'm like, you're a dick.
That's what I said.
Yeah. So
and then I said credit card number. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, I can
make anything work if you just give me
your credit guy. Right. I bet this wouldn't
happen Nordstrom. Yeah. I had
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all good. So
I did know this car.
So sharing that. And then at the end
of it, what you did is you gave
each other appreciation. Thank you for doing this.
Thank you for sharing that. Thank you. Because
Yeah. This is reinforcement. We're not gonna do
anything and we're not reinforced.
So even if the poor bay behaviors or
the poor thinking, you'd still get reinforced. There's
reinforcement, And that's why we continue to do
things. Very cool. All the time.
So somebody that
may have a particularly
unhealthy behavior
They're still getting reinforced? There's some payoff in
it. Mh. Okay? So does that also correlate
to, like, when you're just complaining about the
same thing with somebody and they're complaining about
it and it's like, this back and forth
ping pong of cleaning you're reinforcing that, like,
your victim or... You're reinforcing, and then the
payoff office is that you don't have to
do the work.
You may feel like you're being connect... You
you're creating connection with that person that you're
pitching to.
But
like, B, like, B Brown says is, like,
real connection is actually
being honest and being vulnerable.
With each other Mh. Versus just talking shit.
I mean, talking shit is the the quickest
way
to
connect and then
create divisive ness, which is us against them.
Nice. And you can see in the political
system what's what's going on with that. So
I even... I have this whole thing, and
this was,
like, right when
my boyfriend and I started talking. Mh. Where
I was, like,
everybody always talks about how exciting it is
to meet someone and you wait for the
right person
and you build this up,
and the talking stage is so fun. And
then when you really start dating,
or when you meet a new friend, whatever
it is any new relationship. They always talk
about how exciting it is and help rate
and what they did to court me. But
no 1 talks about how fucking triggering it
is. And I think this goes to, like,
don't be a dick of, like... And I
said to him because then we were talking
about, like, vulnerability,
and he was asked me like, right. So,
wow, would you define... Like, if you just
carry curiosity, You know? Mh. And
1 of the things I was like, I
just, like, learned, and I'm learning still
especially with him just because I'm closer to
him now. I'm like.
That every
relationship in my life, if something's pissing me
off, it's holding a mirror to something in
me that I need to work on. Mh.
And when I react,
I'm, I'm being dick to myself about that
part instead of, like you said, doing the
work. So,
like, whatever it might be. Someone is
lying or being def overly defensive and white
lying because they don't wanna take responsibility. Mh.
That
pisses me off so much. Mh. And this
isn't even with him and we just a
general example, but
that pisses me off because I get so
scared that someone's lying to me. Then I'm
gonna look like an Idiot.
That's where my mind goes. I'm like, why
do you want me to look like an
idiot? Mh. And really, if I was so
detached from it, I'd be like, Jay.
I'm even worry about it. Like,
truth will come out. You know, but there's
something in me that I'm scared of
taking the blame for something I didn't do.
We're not scared. I just don't wanna do
it. Yeah. You know.
It's just a
surface level example, I guess,
Yeah. I'm I'm trying to kinda tie into
that because of when I think of, you
know, probably where this came from, like, my
ex boyfriend was
a dick. I mean, yeah, I mean, to
say the least. I saw a great time.
I'm not saying you mean doesn't mean can't
have fun with a dick. Right.
But right. Right.
Yeah. Well. So
And
I resonate with that. Mh. Like, completely. And,
yes, the the Huntington stage is so fabulous.
I love it. I actually can't even believe
like, I'm not out of it yet. No
Alright. Feel like I can't believe after 10
years with Jj because we're only 20 me
7. Yeah. It's so great. Yeah.
And I remembered those him... I mean, I...
If you... Since you do know Jj j,
so well. Like, Could you imagine him he
talked to me 4 hours a night?
On the phone after being, you know what?
I can just because Worked right out?
But yeah. But, like he. Hold on. Hold
on. Let me say talk.
He listened to me for for, Not not
just talk. Just like not my hand because
true too, I will say this. Okay? So
then ever relationships is different. Right? And the
relationships... Like, you talk about all the time
the relationships you have with other people
are, you know, your different roles and you're
wearing different hats. And they could be triggering
in other ways, and you could be being
a dick to your
friend, but then have the best day ever
with your boyfriend and a girlfriend, and or,
you know, it can be
back and forth, but when I first started
working for jj,
I remember, I was like, okay. Yeah. This
guy's is really cool, and he's like, on,
like, we'll go get lunch like, for the
first day, and then we'll come back and
we'll eat it and like, okay, And walking
and I go,
So how'd do you meet your wife?
That he just was like, what? And I'm
like, how'd you meet your wife?
I was like, tell me about her.
And mean just, like,
different.
Even the people that work there now, they
say it too. I mean, like,
He got soft. Yeah. He's was like, oh,
he's a good guy. I like. He loves
like. He's.
He loves me. He loves me. But it's
it's it's interesting. I think the world's that
you play in
in different relationships in your life. Right? Like,
your... You can be the same person to
your core, but different. You know? Mh. And
I think that
different behaviors in those relationships can
be like, oh that was kind of a
dick thing for me to do, even though
someone be, like, Notes not. You know, so
going back to what you said, how do
you know if you're being a dick, we
have to define
what being a dick is. Well, And and
I think what we did is just say
energetically, it's your... It's it's going off of
your
determining, Mh. You're you're determining it based off
of your,
spine, your core value. Yeah. You know? And
even still,
the triggering
with my
dick boyfriend, you know, then,
and then I have
Jj who's kind and loving and, you know,
courageous to even date me,
so it's... It was wonderful and still also
triggering because just just by, like, the height.
They both were the same high. Like just
even, like, interesting, like, dynamics on that. So
you're you're having verbal,
triggering possibly. Mh. You have
situational. Mh. You know? And then there... To
all different types of things to trigger in
a brand new in the brand new relationship.
So... Well, and it's interesting too because be
between... Just acknowledge that though. Yeah really just
start to acknowledge it and and make sure
you take responsibility into your own inventory and
go, gosh, it's not it it really... It
might not be the problem... The person might
not be the problem you Might actually be
the 1 carrying. Some baggage. Yeah. Yeah. So
a few exercises, I think that
I do now that I had can touch
myself in those situations. And so they're like
super easy, and this is, like idiot proof.
You know? Like, it doesn't take a genius
to have to, like, sit down and do
it and. The beauty of it is. So
your
dialogue that you're saying yourself and Mh. When
you're trying to, I guess, be self aware,
and
take inventory in the middle of a heated
situation
is what I did that morning was halt.
Jackie halt. Halt, jackie halt. Halt, Jackie halt.
Halt is an acronym you always use, hungry
angry lonely tired. And I'm fucking starving. Having
that coffee.
I'm angry.
I'm anxious. I'm not angry today. Yeah. Yeah.
I thought not only
my little sleepy. And I'm like, okay. So
that's, like,
free
out of the 4. You take the hunger
and I'm done.
No but, like, mean seriously. Yeah. If I'm
hungry, ask ask my friend Chandler.
She knows. Yeah. She's like,
girl get this... What get this something... Something
Yeah. To eat right now because she's going...
She's going down quick. Yeah. Well, I just
kept saying that over we're... We're gonna and
being like, okay. Well, I I have a
problem with myself. I just... It's me. Brave.
Don't react.
Fucking chill, like, literally, talk to myself like
that. I don't even doing, like the countdown
method where I'm like, just, like, picture something
that makes you feel good and look forward
to something, even if it's not going to
pickle ball, What else can you do? It's
beautiful after. Just go to the beach, just
like walk to the beach and chill out.
Like, chill out, like, maybe you need a
minute. Oh, you know? It's also really cool.
No. You don't have to rush. You know?
And then I just start naming things off,
that
are kind of opposite to the way that
I'm feeling. Yeah. And some Russian washing washing
and I'm like, well, no ref A reframe.
Yeah. Yeah.
And that's super
helpful. That's something that I do. You're 1
thought away from being being happy.
How about this 1? Your 1 thought
away from
beat to dick.
Yeah.
There's a meter. There the... Nickel meter.
They call me. The.
Yeah.
It's safety.
Wait. I'm blushing now. You know,
you know, avid. Something you know
You know, I discovered a new thing.
What's that?
So
instead of I'm not hungry. If I'm hot,
I get pissed. My Ac is kinda broken?
And I have bench fits
apartment.
What? And it's so.
And last night. I
He's like, he's like,
dropping everything and I'm like, if few with
just for 5 minutes. Just sit out. He's
like,
I'm laying down. And I'm like,
oh, you're dropping everything and you don't have
to get up and get it So I'm
sure you're not sweating. And then I just
started laughing and I go no, but, like,
feel on my back. Like, it's so gross.
You're too young to be doing that? No.
I'm not kidding. I call my mom and
I'm like, dude,
she said, went quick. I got. I only
got a 5 minutes, and I'm sweating and
I got in house, and I go, I've
never related to you warren, and I'm
not even going through better pause. I am
hot flashes doing bitch. I am literally in
the middle of this book a new menopause.
I can't believe I'm reading this. I can't...
Can't blame believe I'm in this place right
now. If it makes feeling better. Literally my
whole body turned fucking red.
You know that? I know. When I just
got, like a little warm, and I'm, like,
sitting in a in a, like, an office
situation, for example, like, my chest goes and
then it just floods down my arms and
then my legs, and then all a sudden
I'm like, mother, fuck, and my cheeks get
really red when you can't play poker.
No.
Otherwise, I would be in vegas. Yeah. I'm
young and domino.
Okay no.
No. That's so good. Yeah. That's what really
sucks I would play poker, if I could.
Out to vegas ones, and I was, like,
I've literally never wanted to leave place more
than vegas in Miami.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Too much.
Too much. It's... Lots of.
Lots of little dick energy Yeah. Lots of
little dick energy. Oh my god. Wow what
is up with everybody trying to be somebody?
That's what I wanna know. What is going
on?
Yeah. I mean,
and and everyone's running from not to?
Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Great answer. It's
so true.
Yeah.
It's a mask, man. Well,
Everybody take your individual part and responsibility.
Yeah. And do your inventory and make sure
you don't be a dick. Yeah. I Yeah.
And also, when you take accountability, it's kind
of turn off.
Oh, hills. Yeah. You could be so wrong
and just look at somebody be like I
fucked up.
Oh, and that's hot. I fucked up. Yeah.
And everyone just looks to you goes. So
right, man,
whatever.
That is it is
I'm a real
I'm sorry Does actually go a long way.
When you really do need it? Yeah.
I am old, last thing. I used to
say... I actually came up with this when
I'm a kid. I swear to god. I
remember I wrote down. I probably was, like,
12:13.
And I was, like, playing soccer. I was,
like, really getting into physical
activity
and reaping the rewards. It's because I was
just feeling better. And I remember I would
go to my grandma's house, and I love
my So much and she just makes so
much food, because she's from Germany and she's
loves to feed me and but 1 of
her traditions is coffee and cake, and you
have to do it.
And I'm, like, the only 1 that really
had a sweet tooth, and I would binge
man. Like, I... She would love me she
be like, you're not gonna eat the
the the chocolate cake watermark.
And I be like, oh oman, I... Oh
oman, I said I don't want a piece
I want the whole pie.
You did it in your name. Yeah. And
I would eat it. I be like, home
on God. I feel like shit. And I
would go home and my mom duck You
did it again. Did it you. What are
you gonna how hard now, and I'm like
because literally in don't want to. It's like,
that's the only moments in my head where
I'm in heaven. Yeah. It was like, it
was amazing. And... But I felt like shit.
Right? Mh. And I remember going to talk
about this next morning and being like,
wow.
Okay. So
the word sorry really fucking doesn't mean anything.
This is what I'm saying... Number vividly. And
I'm like because I'm sorry body that I
didn't eat like that. Now I could just
sit down and not do anything. I'll still
feel like shit. Now I have to go
run, and I'm gonna eat a healthy breakfast
because then it's gonna make me feel better.
So I guess there was action that has
to be tied with the word, and your
body is the best example of the word.
Sorry.
I know I never forget it because then
I remember told my mom and she goes,
oh my god.
Oh my god. And I go let who's
eat so fucking smart.
You goes know seriously.
You really are. Give me a I... You
me and your father, combine the best parts
of us if we had a good mom.
Because my mom was good.
That's
okay. School seriously.
You don't even need a man in the
house.
You're so fucking smart. You're only 12.
This kid.
Oh, and you... And here is a... Here's
and here the kid. The installation of limiting
the belief.
You don't need a man in house. Yeah.
Oh, please.
Oh, please. No.
There's no man in the house.
Oh, I aim amen. Yeah. So I mean,
action follows...
Follows words. And
just be
fucking straight up.
Don't
be
a dick.
Unless it's a good dick.
And
I got
speaking of Dick.
Oh, I need to get myself home.
I see myself out. Have a good night.
Okay. Ciao.
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