1 00:00:00,278 --> 00:00:02,984 Welcome to back pocket wisdom with Jackie, and 2 00:00:03,143 --> 00:00:05,610 Elizabeth, where we are creating a space for 3 00:00:05,610 --> 00:00:07,735 you to get real with yourself. So tune 4 00:00:08,014 --> 00:00:09,928 to feel like you're just chatting with your 5 00:00:09,928 --> 00:00:13,279 friends about reachable mental health and just having 6 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:15,924 fun. We got them. Fun. And look kind 7 00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:18,073 of good all doing it. Hell jump. 8 00:00:19,188 --> 00:00:20,063 Don't be a dick. 9 00:00:21,098 --> 00:00:23,008 Yeah. I said that already. 10 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,172 Put it on a shirt. We already did? 11 00:00:25,411 --> 00:00:27,423 Wait. I already did. So great. 12 00:00:28,038 --> 00:00:30,267 If only. Only I came up with that 13 00:00:30,267 --> 00:00:34,258 idea. Oh, goodness me. I mean, Mark Cuban 14 00:00:34,258 --> 00:00:35,450 started with laundromat rats. 15 00:00:37,356 --> 00:00:40,318 I fucking love him. I did too. My. 16 00:00:41,344 --> 00:00:43,505 He is I like start. I have dinner 17 00:00:43,505 --> 00:00:45,185 with somebody on Earth. He's 1 of the 18 00:00:45,185 --> 00:00:46,704 people. Mh. But not gonna say like he's 19 00:00:46,704 --> 00:00:48,958 the 1 because that would be like, that... 20 00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:49,936 That'd be so 21 00:00:50,473 --> 00:00:50,973 crazy... 22 00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:54,860 Like, I love you, but, like, really? I 23 00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:56,934 don't know if I wanna have dinner with 24 00:00:57,093 --> 00:00:57,891 Andrew he. 25 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,385 Or I just wanna wanna have him look. 26 00:01:02,225 --> 00:01:04,465 Elizabeth this leg and hold the dessert menu. 27 00:01:04,625 --> 00:01:06,484 I have a few things in mind. No. 28 00:01:07,118 --> 00:01:08,869 Don't have many many questions for you. 29 00:01:12,371 --> 00:01:13,803 I've seen all I needed to see. Yeah. 30 00:01:14,042 --> 00:01:15,713 I've heard all I needed to hear. And 31 00:01:15,713 --> 00:01:17,740 it's led me to continuous conclusion 32 00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:21,797 that my bed is not all 33 00:01:22,331 --> 00:01:23,047 without you it. 34 00:01:23,699 --> 00:01:24,578 Let's do some research. 35 00:01:26,096 --> 00:01:26,735 Should we... 36 00:01:28,173 --> 00:01:28,812 It's all code. 37 00:01:29,691 --> 00:01:32,334 It's all code. That's great, statistically speaking? 38 00:01:34,163 --> 00:01:35,117 Statistically speaking. 39 00:01:35,833 --> 00:01:36,867 Statistically speaking, 40 00:01:37,423 --> 00:01:39,347 listen, all the computer Guys, 41 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,688 writing code. Yeah try to decode this 1. 42 00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:43,586 0. 43 00:01:44,836 --> 00:01:45,154 Yeah. 44 00:01:46,444 --> 00:01:46,605 Anyway, 45 00:01:47,325 --> 00:01:47,825 your 46 00:01:48,365 --> 00:01:50,865 tank tiktok has gotten so many hits 47 00:01:51,484 --> 00:01:53,299 on my Instagram 48 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,216 whenever I post that I'm wearing it. 49 00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:59,034 I mean, it's almost as if I'm posting 50 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,112 myself nude. Like people 51 00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:04,375 love it. Like, swipe up. Oh my god. 52 00:02:04,614 --> 00:02:06,044 But this is fantastic. 53 00:02:06,521 --> 00:02:07,021 And 54 00:02:07,633 --> 00:02:09,620 it's so funny to me because people that 55 00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:11,607 I haven't spoken to in years that way 56 00:02:11,686 --> 00:02:13,869 I went high school with. Mh. And 57 00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:15,751 they'll reach out their, like, great shirt. 58 00:02:16,545 --> 00:02:19,245 Soon, it will be available on the inter 59 00:02:19,245 --> 00:02:22,516 web nut. Do you know someone also responded 60 00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:23,072 and was, like, 61 00:02:24,263 --> 00:02:26,487 false advertising. It's not on her website, and 62 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:27,996 I'm not trying to be a dick, and 63 00:02:28,076 --> 00:02:28,632 I was like, 64 00:02:29,997 --> 00:02:32,063 Okay. Wrong person to D. 65 00:02:33,096 --> 00:02:35,083 Yeah. I didn't say it was available yet. 66 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,252 No. I didn't say it was available 67 00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:40,579 between the line. Read data lines. Yeah. Dick. 68 00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,992 So I wear the shirt, 69 00:02:44,786 --> 00:02:47,818 and I wear it with intention, and I 70 00:02:47,818 --> 00:02:51,180 don't know if it's the shirt that causes 71 00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:53,008 people to be nice to me 72 00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,154 or that I'm actually 73 00:02:55,624 --> 00:02:58,039 just that much nicer when I wear it 74 00:02:58,736 --> 00:02:59,236 because 75 00:03:00,252 --> 00:03:01,848 I'm going to call yes, 76 00:03:02,487 --> 00:03:02,987 Nordstrom, 77 00:03:03,938 --> 00:03:07,291 Nordstrom. Not the rack. Oh, no. Not the 78 00:03:07,291 --> 00:03:08,408 rack. Nordstrom. 79 00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:11,601 I went with my children for the first 80 00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:13,710 time ever to the 81 00:03:14,165 --> 00:03:17,029 Boca Town Center mall in doors room bless 82 00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:17,507 you. Yes. 83 00:03:18,302 --> 00:03:19,598 And I'm 84 00:03:19,989 --> 00:03:21,823 I... They're at this age that I was 85 00:03:21,823 --> 00:03:24,774 like, why don't we get clothes that? I 86 00:03:24,774 --> 00:03:27,725 mean, I've gotten away with not buying them 87 00:03:27,725 --> 00:03:29,160 pretty much it a lot of stuff. 88 00:03:29,653 --> 00:03:32,276 They have athletic wear. They love their soccer 89 00:03:32,276 --> 00:03:32,753 jersey, 90 00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:35,455 and that's their their go to. And there's 91 00:03:35,455 --> 00:03:38,090 a ton athletes do it. They probably just 92 00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:39,834 put on there athletic ware to go. I 93 00:03:39,834 --> 00:03:41,260 mean, I mean, the kids also. 94 00:03:41,815 --> 00:03:44,272 And easy. I would love for them to 95 00:03:44,272 --> 00:03:47,241 just you know, discover a style and whatever. 96 00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:49,978 So I chose on a hot florida day 97 00:03:50,038 --> 00:03:52,275 to go to the mall, and I didn't 98 00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,786 have a lot of time, but I had 99 00:03:54,845 --> 00:03:57,878 enough time to go to Nordstrom and try 100 00:03:57,878 --> 00:04:00,215 what's the store ab... Abe comment. 101 00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:03,882 Yeah. Have car, whatever. Okay. So all the 102 00:04:03,882 --> 00:04:05,481 broke my heart used to stand outside. 103 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:11,720 We hit the mother load. My kids love 104 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,813 this little little stand in Nordstrom, and they 105 00:04:14,813 --> 00:04:16,637 were like, vans, t shirts, 106 00:04:17,112 --> 00:04:18,953 not my sun van, but the brand. And 107 00:04:18,953 --> 00:04:22,857 then psycho bunny and quick sliver and all 108 00:04:22,857 --> 00:04:24,291 this like, oh, I'm like, oh, my gosh. 109 00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:26,442 Boom We that my grab, all the great 110 00:04:26,442 --> 00:04:28,035 stuff, be whatever... We try it all on. 111 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,467 Everything fits, I go to the cash register. 112 00:04:31,165 --> 00:04:31,645 Guess what? 113 00:04:32,284 --> 00:04:35,240 I don't hold a Nordstrom credit card, and 114 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,198 I can't buy anything that is in my 115 00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:38,516 pile. 116 00:04:39,311 --> 00:04:42,651 Wait. What? Yes. What? You're lying. I'm not 117 00:04:42,651 --> 00:04:45,115 effing kidding you. I was so effing pissed. 118 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:49,610 Okay This is so funny because this woman 119 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,889 Bethany Frank, I, f love her. Yeah. She's 120 00:04:52,889 --> 00:04:54,250 on the real house fives in New York. 121 00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:56,900 Then, moved on to do, like, really cool 122 00:04:56,900 --> 00:05:00,172 stuff. Mh. She's all over Tiktok. And, I 123 00:05:00,172 --> 00:05:02,087 mean, like, now she has a podcast, like, 124 00:05:02,247 --> 00:05:04,567 talking about divorce. Like, oh, wow I'm really 125 00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:07,500 talking about. Like, she's just cool. Like, she 126 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,403 she gets a little controversial, and she's got, 127 00:05:09,482 --> 00:05:11,401 like, I really give a shit. This is 128 00:05:11,401 --> 00:05:14,184 my opinion. You're following me... Like, she's she 129 00:05:14,184 --> 00:05:17,387 she cracks me up. And she goes 130 00:05:17,842 --> 00:05:18,716 fuck gucci. 131 00:05:20,325 --> 00:05:21,760 Or what was it? Yeah. I think it 132 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,071 was Gucci. I mean, correct me if I'm 133 00:05:24,071 --> 00:05:26,781 wrong. But... And she goes, I went in 134 00:05:26,781 --> 00:05:29,183 there, so you know, looking like a regular 135 00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:31,092 fucking person. She goes I didn't know, but 136 00:05:31,171 --> 00:05:32,364 I was gonna meet the president. 137 00:05:32,841 --> 00:05:34,193 She goes, I went out there to go 138 00:05:34,193 --> 00:05:35,227 in and they wouldn't let me in the 139 00:05:35,227 --> 00:05:37,472 store. Why? She goes to then I decided 140 00:05:37,472 --> 00:05:39,624 to do an Chanel. I think it chanel. 141 00:05:39,863 --> 00:05:41,297 Great. She goes, to then I decided to 142 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:43,528 do an experiment, and she goes... So I 143 00:05:43,687 --> 00:05:45,201 I get dropped off by my driver. 144 00:05:45,694 --> 00:05:47,842 The next day. I'm dressed up. It's the 145 00:05:47,842 --> 00:05:49,592 same guy. I mean, lets me right in. 146 00:05:49,831 --> 00:05:51,263 And I turn around and I looked at 147 00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:53,425 them and I go, big mistake, huge. 148 00:05:53,982 --> 00:05:56,047 Oh, just like pretty woman. Like do work 149 00:05:56,047 --> 00:05:58,193 off commission? Yeah. She went back. Yeah. I 150 00:05:58,193 --> 00:05:59,861 with the bags and they go, And she 151 00:05:59,861 --> 00:06:02,261 goes they can stay huge. It goes Julie 152 00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:03,692 Roberts. Fuck you. 153 00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:07,510 Oh, my gosh. She's my hero. Like, really 154 00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:09,339 remind. So my hero. I'm so... I... 155 00:06:10,626 --> 00:06:11,126 Absolutely 156 00:06:11,737 --> 00:06:14,197 upset. We don't, like, regular people money using... 157 00:06:14,673 --> 00:06:16,498 Yeah. So I was like, I don't care 158 00:06:16,498 --> 00:06:17,132 about the sale. 159 00:06:17,704 --> 00:06:19,698 I will pay full price. Give me give 160 00:06:19,698 --> 00:06:23,047 me my fucking clothes. Right. And I didn't 161 00:06:23,047 --> 00:06:26,078 say fuck. So I... I... There 1 person 162 00:06:26,078 --> 00:06:28,006 was wanting to help me. Shoes a gem, 163 00:06:28,564 --> 00:06:31,193 their other guy... It was another gem. Totally 164 00:06:31,193 --> 00:06:33,902 guy. Yeah. They have conflicting stories. The 1 165 00:06:33,902 --> 00:06:36,234 guy goes, you should just take pictures of 166 00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:37,580 of it. And then, 167 00:06:38,295 --> 00:06:39,963 make to make sure that you get what 168 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:42,188 you want on on Friday. I'm like, what's 169 00:06:42,427 --> 00:06:44,016 Friday. Yeah. And you think I'm about the 170 00:06:44,016 --> 00:06:46,813 main back? Yeah. Anyway, my kids really look 171 00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:48,483 in in the clothes. So I did... The. 172 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:49,756 How'd you get the clothes? Okay. I didn't 173 00:06:49,756 --> 00:06:51,347 walk out with the clothes, but I said 174 00:06:51,347 --> 00:06:52,381 to him. I'm like, listen, 175 00:06:53,272 --> 00:06:55,581 I'll come back on Friday if you hold 176 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:59,165 these clothes, and I will get the... Because, 177 00:06:59,484 --> 00:07:02,047 apparently, I had a credit card, but Friday, 178 00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:03,956 they decided I didn't have 1, whatever. I 179 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,706 don't know. I I mean, who cares. Whatever. 180 00:07:06,502 --> 00:07:08,411 Blah blah blah blah blah. Point is. I 181 00:07:08,411 --> 00:07:10,161 wear my don't be a dick on Friday. 182 00:07:10,574 --> 00:07:11,630 When I came back 183 00:07:12,242 --> 00:07:15,499 that is so funny. So I walked in 184 00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:17,723 the town center mall with my don't be 185 00:07:17,723 --> 00:07:17,961 addiction. 186 00:07:19,169 --> 00:07:21,160 And I was ready. I was I was... 187 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,629 I had it turned on, like Nlp style 188 00:07:23,629 --> 00:07:25,063 all the way. Like, I'm getting what I 189 00:07:25,063 --> 00:07:27,713 want and walk out of there with my 190 00:07:27,771 --> 00:07:29,943 clothes. Yeah. Wait for my son. Mh. And 191 00:07:29,943 --> 00:07:32,260 so anyway, I end up like. I'm like, 192 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,338 oh, look at your shirt. Hi. I'm making 193 00:07:34,338 --> 00:07:36,256 friends of the whole damn place. 194 00:07:37,548 --> 00:07:38,583 You can't in on the meat. 195 00:07:39,617 --> 00:07:41,686 Love me make this like stop. Okay. You 196 00:07:41,686 --> 00:07:43,913 love me. You love me. You love me. 197 00:07:44,709 --> 00:07:47,134 So... And I have a happy visit. The 198 00:07:47,511 --> 00:07:49,504 earring look I yes. And I god it 199 00:07:49,504 --> 00:07:51,497 was so cute. So... We, if you guys 200 00:07:51,497 --> 00:07:52,453 wanna see this, you gotta go look at 201 00:07:52,453 --> 00:07:55,178 our instagram post a really cool video. Yeah. 202 00:07:55,337 --> 00:07:57,955 And in the video, obviously saying really important 203 00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,701 information we could get to, but, like, you 204 00:07:59,701 --> 00:08:01,606 looks and so so. It was so fun. 205 00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,923 I love and I love my pants. It's 206 00:08:03,923 --> 00:08:05,117 fun, so I had the whole get up 207 00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:05,594 on. Right? 208 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:06,811 And 209 00:08:07,266 --> 00:08:10,392 I end up anyway. 45 210 00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,518 minutes later. They're like, you do not have 211 00:08:12,518 --> 00:08:15,185 a card You did... You do not have 212 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,593 access to the sale. You you we cannot 213 00:08:18,593 --> 00:08:20,109 give you... We can't even give you these 214 00:08:20,109 --> 00:08:22,103 clothes because they're only for sale peep... For 215 00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:23,161 people that have 216 00:08:23,554 --> 00:08:25,389 I was like, I'm like, I I looked 217 00:08:25,389 --> 00:08:26,347 at the lady. I said, 218 00:08:28,102 --> 00:08:30,656 I can't believe, and I I kept myself 219 00:08:30,656 --> 00:08:32,909 cool. And I think the shirt made me... 220 00:08:33,070 --> 00:08:34,829 Because I didn't wanna dis... I didn't wanna 221 00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:35,470 not represent. 222 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,269 I can't believe I'm going to be walking 223 00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:40,350 out of the store without my children's clothes. 224 00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:42,683 Yes. 225 00:08:43,562 --> 00:08:45,320 And then my and harder. 226 00:08:45,799 --> 00:08:47,178 Okay. So then 227 00:08:47,637 --> 00:08:49,555 my alarm goes off because I always said 228 00:08:49,555 --> 00:08:51,167 an alarm because I on my phone out 229 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:52,442 because I... I gotta take my birth and 230 00:08:52,442 --> 00:08:53,479 you're all. Yeah. 231 00:08:54,196 --> 00:08:55,791 And I... And I... And and she goes, 232 00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:57,146 well, you can you can sign up for 233 00:08:57,146 --> 00:08:58,900 a Nordstrom card. I go, I guess, I'll 234 00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,433 have to do that, and then my alarm 235 00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:01,152 goes off off. 236 00:09:02,031 --> 00:09:02,531 And 237 00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,588 and I said, oh, I can't. 238 00:09:05,227 --> 00:09:06,666 This is my alarm to go pick up 239 00:09:06,666 --> 00:09:07,145 my children. 240 00:09:08,357 --> 00:09:08,915 Empty handed. 241 00:09:12,982 --> 00:09:14,417 You like I'm also gonna have to tell 242 00:09:14,417 --> 00:09:16,410 them that Santa isn't real today? Oh, my 243 00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:16,490 god. 244 00:09:17,461 --> 00:09:18,178 My god. 245 00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:20,089 I'm gonna have to tell them that, 246 00:09:21,682 --> 00:09:24,071 I just like you know, Jackie, San is 247 00:09:24,071 --> 00:09:25,266 real. Don't even ever see it. 248 00:09:25,997 --> 00:09:26,497 Obviously, 249 00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:29,576 my goodness. I saw. It's a spirit cheer 250 00:09:29,576 --> 00:09:31,486 fashion 1 time. He setting up a Christmas. 251 00:09:31,724 --> 00:09:31,963 Spirit. 252 00:09:32,774 --> 00:09:35,894 I am... Anyway, it... The lady, the lady. 253 00:09:36,455 --> 00:09:38,535 She said, I'm gonna just trust that you're 254 00:09:38,535 --> 00:09:40,375 gonna get a card another time, and I 255 00:09:40,375 --> 00:09:42,389 will give you the full sale price so 256 00:09:42,389 --> 00:09:43,427 you can get out of here with the 257 00:09:43,427 --> 00:09:43,586 clothes. 258 00:09:44,624 --> 00:09:46,859 And this was the lady that I made 259 00:09:46,859 --> 00:09:49,014 friendly with. And I didn't know she was 260 00:09:49,014 --> 00:09:50,691 the manager, but she was the manager. 261 00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:53,577 And we both were talking about our happy 262 00:09:53,577 --> 00:09:55,970 face. It's just so good. Happy faces. Is 263 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,443 that right. So I remember... I mean, you 264 00:09:58,443 --> 00:09:59,878 kind of always said don't be a dick. 265 00:10:00,038 --> 00:10:03,087 Right? And I remember the first meeting for 266 00:10:03,087 --> 00:10:04,765 the self care workshop that I did, 267 00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:05,643 the... 268 00:10:06,842 --> 00:10:08,854 Not the 1 that I coached. Yeah. The 269 00:10:08,854 --> 00:10:11,247 1... 0. Sorry. I almost just tip to 270 00:10:11,247 --> 00:10:11,566 over. 271 00:10:14,678 --> 00:10:16,766 You handed it out stickers. Yeah amy sticker, 272 00:10:16,846 --> 00:10:18,041 and it said don't be dick and like 273 00:10:18,041 --> 00:10:20,431 this is so funny, man. Like... Yeah. This 274 00:10:20,431 --> 00:10:23,242 is right on. Cool, cool, cool 275 00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:25,139 And from ever that moment, 276 00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:27,757 it kind of stayed in my mind because 277 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,820 my mom always says be kind, and there's 278 00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,137 a difference between being nice and being kind. 279 00:10:32,376 --> 00:10:34,923 Mh. And kind is a character trait. Mh. 280 00:10:35,082 --> 00:10:36,993 And nice is something you can be. Yeah. 281 00:10:37,311 --> 00:10:38,926 And not really mean it. So 282 00:10:39,794 --> 00:10:41,381 But I never really like, knew how to 283 00:10:41,381 --> 00:10:43,445 summarize that. And then when I got my 284 00:10:43,445 --> 00:10:45,429 own shirt because, yeah, I have the sticker, 285 00:10:45,588 --> 00:10:47,414 but, like, it's not as in my face 286 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,418 as my shirt is sits in my drawer, 287 00:10:49,577 --> 00:10:51,173 and I get to see the pretty rainbow. 288 00:10:51,573 --> 00:10:53,648 And then I'm like, wait, like, it's super 289 00:10:53,648 --> 00:10:54,148 cute, 290 00:10:54,765 --> 00:10:57,215 and I wanna wear it to bed because 291 00:10:57,414 --> 00:10:58,529 I mean, have good drinks. And I don't 292 00:10:58,529 --> 00:11:00,283 know don't wanna wake up, and I'm gonna 293 00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:02,456 wear her to cook coffee. I mean, I 294 00:11:02,514 --> 00:11:04,528 yeah. Love the shirt. And 295 00:11:05,639 --> 00:11:08,199 Ever since I got it, I just look 296 00:11:08,199 --> 00:11:09,720 at people and I go, I you don't 297 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,940 be a dick. That's bottom line. And people 298 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,476 back up. Like, my niece. I went to 299 00:11:15,635 --> 00:11:18,566 South Carolina to, see them. U. She's she 300 00:11:18,566 --> 00:11:21,834 just from 17, which is bizarre. And I 301 00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:23,506 looked at her and we're talking. She's she's, 302 00:11:23,586 --> 00:11:24,939 you know, going into her senior year, and 303 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,565 I go Lana, you know, was very interesting. 304 00:11:27,724 --> 00:11:29,237 And I, I'm not that much older than 305 00:11:29,237 --> 00:11:30,644 you Like, if you really think about suppose 306 00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:32,522 Right I put your old. 307 00:11:35,479 --> 00:11:38,196 I don't. What does that maybe ancient. I 308 00:11:38,196 --> 00:11:38,915 go okay. 309 00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:39,885 Well, 310 00:11:40,521 --> 00:11:42,669 guess what? I don't go a style. So... 311 00:11:42,987 --> 00:11:45,373 And she's like, she's like, dropped 312 00:11:46,089 --> 00:11:46,589 mud. 313 00:11:47,934 --> 00:11:49,211 And then she looks me and she's like, 314 00:11:50,249 --> 00:11:51,766 I'm, like, you're so tan, and she's like, 315 00:11:51,926 --> 00:11:54,401 yeah. Well, I'm I'm Russian and Italian, and 316 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,518 I go, so slow down. 317 00:11:56,317 --> 00:11:58,322 G looks me and she goes, you're so 318 00:11:58,322 --> 00:11:58,640 old, 319 00:11:59,751 --> 00:12:03,086 and I go whatever. And anyway, and I 320 00:12:03,086 --> 00:12:04,278 looked at it. And I'm like, you know, 321 00:12:04,675 --> 00:12:05,365 I'm not 322 00:12:05,884 --> 00:12:08,205 that much older than you. Like, 323 00:12:09,164 --> 00:12:11,404 I am. But also, when you get out 324 00:12:11,404 --> 00:12:13,404 of high school and you go into college, 325 00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:14,845 you'll get a glimpse of it, but when 326 00:12:14,845 --> 00:12:15,739 you get out college, 327 00:12:16,378 --> 00:12:18,216 like, you'll kind of just see, like, when 328 00:12:18,216 --> 00:12:20,053 you work and when you when you make 329 00:12:20,053 --> 00:12:22,850 new friends, like age isn't really as important 330 00:12:22,850 --> 00:12:24,938 as it feels. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I was 331 00:12:24,938 --> 00:12:26,692 like, but you're you're the bacon in the 332 00:12:26,692 --> 00:12:28,684 school. And that's so fun. Like, yeah. I'm 333 00:12:28,684 --> 00:12:30,837 so excited whatever. She stuff like, 334 00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:34,950 what? And I'm like, just, you know, remember 335 00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:35,990 that 336 00:12:37,649 --> 00:12:38,470 I wasn't 337 00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:41,253 the most popular in high school, and I'm 338 00:12:41,253 --> 00:12:42,129 killing it now. 339 00:12:44,279 --> 00:12:45,792 Whether it's true or not and I golf 340 00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:46,748 you are. And, you know, 341 00:12:47,718 --> 00:12:49,070 Just don't be a dick. 342 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,967 And she just looked me to goes, no 343 00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:54,080 like, I totally love that. 344 00:12:56,004 --> 00:12:57,774 Oh, my gosh. It's like, young and. 345 00:12:58,227 --> 00:12:59,442 I was, like, it's giving, 346 00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,277 take a breath, and she goes, no 1 347 00:13:02,277 --> 00:13:04,599 even really says that anymore. And I'm like 348 00:13:04,599 --> 00:13:07,156 oh my god. Body lot getting it. I 349 00:13:07,156 --> 00:13:10,033 love you. You guys. Bye so good. I 350 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:12,111 have that, like, inner dialogue with myself every 351 00:13:12,111 --> 00:13:13,010 day, and 352 00:13:13,324 --> 00:13:14,996 I think I, like, talked about this a 353 00:13:14,996 --> 00:13:17,226 couple months ago when I was like, having 354 00:13:17,385 --> 00:13:17,943 Road rage, 355 00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:20,651 and then I just start laughing after. I'm 356 00:13:20,651 --> 00:13:21,766 like, it's so ridiculous. 357 00:13:22,418 --> 00:13:24,411 And, like, come on, Jackie. Like, it's just 358 00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:27,122 about being impatient. But when I find myself 359 00:13:27,122 --> 00:13:28,419 feeling, like, reactive 360 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,732 and frustrated for 361 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:33,429 whatever's is going on in my external. I 362 00:13:33,429 --> 00:13:34,542 just, like, say those... 363 00:13:36,212 --> 00:13:38,837 Don't be that. Alright. Forward. But, like, 364 00:13:39,409 --> 00:13:41,403 if 8 doesn't count, it's... Those are my 365 00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:43,478 3 words, Yeah That if he says to 366 00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:45,552 me. Don't be Dick. Oh. 367 00:13:46,685 --> 00:13:47,185 Like 368 00:13:47,805 --> 00:13:50,125 be a low or... Okay. So let me 369 00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:52,205 let me tell you because, you know, how 370 00:13:52,205 --> 00:13:53,105 you... When you 371 00:13:53,485 --> 00:13:55,085 meditate, you get these, like, 372 00:13:55,737 --> 00:13:56,714 full blown 373 00:13:57,089 --> 00:13:59,794 dislocation. No. My fucking trend. And, like, stories 374 00:13:59,794 --> 00:14:01,704 and she's... Since you can journal and you're 375 00:14:01,704 --> 00:14:02,340 like, oh my Gosh. 376 00:14:03,548 --> 00:14:05,855 Pages and Like that the story is. Yeah. 377 00:14:06,094 --> 00:14:08,082 I need to take a deep breath. Like, 378 00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:10,008 and Mine just said, breathe. 379 00:14:11,125 --> 00:14:13,198 I know. Well, that's why how I got 380 00:14:13,198 --> 00:14:15,432 the shirt. Did you mean? Don't be dick. 381 00:14:15,751 --> 00:14:15,990 Yeah. 382 00:14:16,867 --> 00:14:18,782 Exactly how. It was like, boom, 383 00:14:19,754 --> 00:14:20,875 like just that simple. 384 00:14:21,595 --> 00:14:23,995 It's really just that simple. It really... And 385 00:14:23,995 --> 00:14:26,975 it really keeps things very simple. Mh. So 386 00:14:27,194 --> 00:14:28,174 how do you know 387 00:14:28,488 --> 00:14:29,625 that you're round 388 00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:34,855 quote quote, dick. Right. And when you're not 389 00:14:34,855 --> 00:14:35,571 around a dick. 390 00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:37,345 I think that 391 00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:41,006 Listen. There are many layers, and I won't 392 00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,442 even get that deep. I mean, there's a 393 00:14:42,442 --> 00:14:45,289 layer of somebody super defensive. Somebody does take 394 00:14:45,409 --> 00:14:48,676 accountability. Someone doesn't uphold their integrity. Someone plays 395 00:14:48,676 --> 00:14:51,624 the blame game. Someone is trying to lie 396 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,522 and manipulate 397 00:14:52,834 --> 00:14:54,509 you could go down a sort of rabbit 398 00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,343 Oh, man. And when you're all... When you're 399 00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:58,337 saying all of that, my energy is like, 400 00:14:58,577 --> 00:14:59,077 oh 401 00:14:59,853 --> 00:15:00,911 like you feel, 402 00:15:01,608 --> 00:15:04,012 a total pit in your Oh, yeah. It's 403 00:15:04,012 --> 00:15:05,603 a gut feeling like you go. Got. You 404 00:15:05,603 --> 00:15:06,399 go yourselves. 405 00:15:07,593 --> 00:15:10,219 Freaking got. Guts. You got good. Got guts. 406 00:15:10,537 --> 00:15:11,651 Gl hot. Baby. 407 00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,759 Go bless. Oh, wow 408 00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:16,527 Listen when we talked last week, you can 409 00:15:16,527 --> 00:15:18,679 be told you to go trust yourself. I 410 00:15:18,679 --> 00:15:18,838 know. 411 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,550 A gut feeling is super 412 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:24,529 important in that, 413 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,250 just because your body will communicate with you. 414 00:15:27,490 --> 00:15:27,990 And 415 00:15:28,304 --> 00:15:30,384 it's literally, like, when somebody says, like, if 416 00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:30,945 you're you're... 417 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,345 If this is dating is so huge right 418 00:15:33,345 --> 00:15:35,105 now in the culture right and talking about 419 00:15:35,105 --> 00:15:36,714 it. And it's, like, if you feel that 420 00:15:36,714 --> 00:15:37,830 something's off with somebody, 421 00:15:38,626 --> 00:15:40,857 trust that feeling. Mh. And then you have 422 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,451 roles that come out and guys to that 423 00:15:42,451 --> 00:15:43,805 come out years later and they're like, I 424 00:15:43,805 --> 00:15:46,134 dated this girl or I dated sky, and 425 00:15:46,294 --> 00:15:47,894 I always felt like something was off, but, 426 00:15:48,054 --> 00:15:50,535 like, never really understood it until I broke 427 00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:52,269 up, and I found out that he kills 428 00:15:52,468 --> 00:15:53,343 or like, oh. 429 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,003 Like like god. No. Ted tiktok takes you 430 00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:58,355 down on rabbit at hole. Whoa. 431 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,832 My god. Why do mean think you're gonna 432 00:16:02,832 --> 00:16:04,746 say that? I mean, like, let's to a 433 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:04,985 hundred. 434 00:16:05,782 --> 00:16:07,377 He collects baby rabbits. I mean, I get, 435 00:16:07,536 --> 00:16:07,935 I was like, 436 00:16:08,588 --> 00:16:10,185 I was like grateful for. I was thinking. 437 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,261 I was thinking, like, something weird not like, 438 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:15,134 murder lenny some of vice and men. I 439 00:16:15,134 --> 00:16:16,332 didn't wanna hurt anybody. 440 00:16:17,624 --> 00:16:19,782 Oh my god. Yeah. No. Like, people are 441 00:16:19,782 --> 00:16:20,101 crazy. 442 00:16:22,258 --> 00:16:24,096 Just they'll lights stand on the street of 443 00:16:24,176 --> 00:16:24,735 South Florida. 444 00:16:25,708 --> 00:16:27,457 Every now and then. Yeah. If you, like, 445 00:16:27,775 --> 00:16:30,716 ever contemplating the state of few. I I've 446 00:16:30,716 --> 00:16:32,465 decided this stop standing on the corner a 447 00:16:32,465 --> 00:16:34,785 long time ago. Because career. Yeah. It's too 448 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:35,841 recently. I 449 00:16:37,726 --> 00:16:40,372 I'm behaving myself right now. It's a good 450 00:16:41,144 --> 00:16:42,438 Yeah. And and 451 00:16:42,988 --> 00:16:44,523 moral of the story is 452 00:16:45,378 --> 00:16:48,405 sometimes you don't have immediate evidence as to 453 00:16:48,405 --> 00:16:50,647 why you're getting a gut feeling that something's 454 00:16:50,647 --> 00:16:52,792 off, but something will come out where you're, 455 00:16:52,871 --> 00:16:55,492 like, holy shit. I knew that I was 456 00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,239 weird, and it wasn't because it's breath and 457 00:16:57,239 --> 00:16:59,970 smell good. It's because, you know, he's crazy. 458 00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:02,049 Yeah it's because look at her. She's a 459 00:17:02,049 --> 00:17:03,730 wack up or, like, whatever the case is. 460 00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:05,109 Right? So 461 00:17:05,584 --> 00:17:07,099 How do you know if you're some... Around 462 00:17:07,099 --> 00:17:09,253 somebody that's a dick? Yes. It's a total 463 00:17:09,253 --> 00:17:11,007 energy thing. You just... And it's a gut 464 00:17:11,007 --> 00:17:13,799 feeling thing. What if you're the dick? Then 465 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:16,306 everybody around you is wrong? And you're always 466 00:17:16,759 --> 00:17:18,903 and your always the only right person in 467 00:17:18,903 --> 00:17:20,968 every single situation and you're like, Yeah. No. 468 00:17:21,524 --> 00:17:24,263 Why me? Everybody hates your your 469 00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:26,733 victim. And and 470 00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:30,295 everybody's wrong. Yeah. And you just can't even 471 00:17:30,295 --> 00:17:34,051 comprehend. The fact, how or Is everybody. So 472 00:17:34,051 --> 00:17:35,721 how am I the only smart person in 473 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,788 the room of every room I walk into? 474 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,064 Oh, wow. Okay. So I have this. And, 475 00:17:41,303 --> 00:17:42,819 I know we weren't... We didn't know we 476 00:17:42,819 --> 00:17:44,414 were gonna discuss this, but we were gonna 477 00:17:44,414 --> 00:17:45,770 discuss it. Yeah. That just kinda came to 478 00:17:45,770 --> 00:17:47,386 me. How about 479 00:17:47,764 --> 00:17:50,656 if you actually do a dick move 480 00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:53,123 and you want to recover from it. 481 00:17:53,921 --> 00:17:56,256 Like, you need reparations. What do you mean 482 00:17:56,315 --> 00:17:57,751 reparations? Like, I don't even know if that's 483 00:17:57,751 --> 00:18:00,341 a word, It's okay. Okay. We're 484 00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:03,511 I want to repair. 485 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,200 Oh, yeah. We're gonna look that up in 486 00:18:06,239 --> 00:18:07,355 a dictionary. I got it. 487 00:18:09,429 --> 00:18:10,566 I saw you're gonna say 488 00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:11,342 representation. 489 00:18:13,255 --> 00:18:14,984 Define preparation. The 490 00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:21,327 Making amend for a wrong 1 has done. 491 00:18:22,299 --> 00:18:24,454 For a wrong. 1 has done by ping? 492 00:18:24,774 --> 00:18:26,929 Yeah. Paying your... Paying your data. Really cool. 493 00:18:27,328 --> 00:18:28,924 So I think that that comes with a 494 00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:31,412 layer of self awareness. Right? You have be 495 00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:33,316 aware of what you've done. Yes. You have 496 00:18:33,316 --> 00:18:36,276 to acknowledge that what you did wasn't necessarily 497 00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:39,720 nice or wasn't wasn't from your highest, be 498 00:18:40,239 --> 00:18:42,955 decision make Yeah. Hi decision. Yeah. And I 499 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,134 think a lot of it is taking accountability 500 00:18:45,432 --> 00:18:47,830 and upholding integrity and just, you know, 501 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,876 relaying that message authentically, and, 502 00:18:51,514 --> 00:18:52,870 know, I don't mean to be so redundant 503 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:53,769 with those 3 504 00:18:54,545 --> 00:18:56,220 traits. Just... I think that they are really 505 00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:57,735 relevant in a lot of situations. 506 00:18:58,306 --> 00:18:59,495 And you look at someone and you say, 507 00:18:59,733 --> 00:19:02,191 you know, oh, I actually wait. I have 508 00:19:02,191 --> 00:19:02,691 a 509 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,966 story about this that happened this weekend. Tell 510 00:19:04,966 --> 00:19:05,203 me. 511 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:06,353 So 512 00:19:07,126 --> 00:19:07,626 I 513 00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:10,410 was super stressed out on Saturday. 514 00:19:11,422 --> 00:19:13,808 I was trying to clean and get everything 515 00:19:13,808 --> 00:19:14,127 ready. 516 00:19:14,698 --> 00:19:16,843 And my boyfriend wanted to go play Pickle 517 00:19:16,843 --> 00:19:17,081 ball. 518 00:19:17,875 --> 00:19:19,726 Has a bond fence. I 519 00:19:20,815 --> 00:19:22,483 I have a pickle ball partner. I know. 520 00:19:22,642 --> 00:19:24,071 And I wanted to go play Pickle ball. 521 00:19:24,565 --> 00:19:26,085 But I wasn't gonna get done cleaning in 522 00:19:26,085 --> 00:19:29,444 time, and I was totally getting anxious. And 523 00:19:29,444 --> 00:19:31,125 my... I was, like, I was having, like, 524 00:19:31,525 --> 00:19:33,605 energy where I'm, like, holy, shit I haven't 525 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:35,777 felt like, this chaotic in a while and 526 00:19:35,777 --> 00:19:37,775 it's me. And then I'm like, great. He's 527 00:19:37,775 --> 00:19:38,574 not even helping. 528 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:41,290 And why... What is he doing? Just sitting 529 00:19:41,290 --> 00:19:42,895 there? Doesn't he see that I'm trying to 530 00:19:42,895 --> 00:19:44,883 do all these things? Blah blah blah. And 531 00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:46,155 then I'm like, but I... Did I ask 532 00:19:46,155 --> 00:19:47,984 him for help, and I'm like, no. So 533 00:19:47,984 --> 00:19:50,608 stop. And then he's like, alright. Well, 534 00:19:51,339 --> 00:19:53,011 know, We kinda have to go. We have 535 00:19:53,011 --> 00:19:54,206 to be there by 10, And I'm like, 536 00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:55,321 can you tell them that we can be 537 00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:56,038 there at 10:30. 538 00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,666 And he's, like, well, no. I mean, they 539 00:19:58,666 --> 00:20:00,020 wanna go on the boat after and, like, 540 00:20:00,273 --> 00:20:01,864 wanted to go at eights. So we removed 541 00:20:01,864 --> 00:20:03,137 it to 10, and I'm like, you can't 542 00:20:03,137 --> 00:20:03,932 wait a half hour. 543 00:20:04,489 --> 00:20:04,967 And he's, like, 544 00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:06,182 well, 545 00:20:07,035 --> 00:20:08,564 he and he just didn't wanna let them 546 00:20:08,564 --> 00:20:10,555 down. We already postponed it, And I'm like, 547 00:20:10,715 --> 00:20:12,149 it's fine just go. And he's like, okay. 548 00:20:12,388 --> 00:20:13,822 Well, what's your Et. I'm like, I'm not 549 00:20:13,822 --> 00:20:16,148 going. And And he's, like, you're not going 550 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:16,626 and I go, 551 00:20:17,343 --> 00:20:20,131 no. Like, I can't finish in time. 552 00:20:20,769 --> 00:20:22,696 And really, I just didn't in a lot 553 00:20:22,696 --> 00:20:24,289 in time for myself. I'm like, just go, 554 00:20:25,086 --> 00:20:26,440 I'll see you on the boat after. And 555 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,432 he's like, it's 01:00 realistic time, and I'm 556 00:20:28,432 --> 00:20:29,964 like, yeah. And I'm like, you know what? 557 00:20:30,125 --> 00:20:31,484 Can you please just do me a favor 558 00:20:31,484 --> 00:20:32,924 before you go and bring my bag down. 559 00:20:33,325 --> 00:20:36,065 I was like, it's heavy, and I just... 560 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,375 Yeah. That would be helpful. Anyway, right up, 561 00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,683 Got it down because anything else? Mc, no. 562 00:20:40,922 --> 00:20:41,479 It's okay. 563 00:20:42,195 --> 00:20:43,389 And then I'm, you know, 564 00:20:44,185 --> 00:20:46,016 my old relationship patterns. Where I'm like, why 565 00:20:46,016 --> 00:20:47,543 don't I just bring my bag. Got my 566 00:20:47,543 --> 00:20:48,658 car and see if he even puts it 567 00:20:48,658 --> 00:20:50,729 in there. He's already in his car is 568 00:20:50,729 --> 00:20:53,836 he looking to help? Oh. And I'm doing 569 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,588 this thing and I hate it. Oh, god 570 00:20:55,668 --> 00:20:58,148 I hate it. So he goes pickle ball 571 00:20:58,148 --> 00:20:59,897 and I was, like, he are jackie. Those 572 00:20:59,897 --> 00:21:02,203 are dick thinking. No. I was yeah. I 573 00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:04,684 know Too. I was not feeling good. And 574 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,884 I'm like, you know what? And I didn't 575 00:21:05,884 --> 00:21:07,484 say anything to him. Yeah. Like, I didn't 576 00:21:07,484 --> 00:21:08,924 say any of this dialogue to him, but. 577 00:21:09,085 --> 00:21:10,444 You he can feel... You can feel it. 578 00:21:10,684 --> 00:21:12,684 Yeah. Doesn't feel comfortable to be around. Yeah. 579 00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:14,772 So I'm, like, I gotta go for a 580 00:21:14,772 --> 00:21:16,047 walk on the beach, and I go for 581 00:21:16,047 --> 00:21:17,162 a walk on the beach, and I'm like, 582 00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:18,118 it's not that, like, 583 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:21,503 what's the problem? And I'm like, you're not 584 00:21:21,643 --> 00:21:24,940 communicating. Mh. And you're disappointed in yourself because 585 00:21:25,238 --> 00:21:27,156 you didn't give yourself enough time. Yeah. If 586 00:21:27,156 --> 00:21:28,115 you can't do everything. 587 00:21:28,608 --> 00:21:30,830 You have priorities, and it's not his priority. 588 00:21:31,068 --> 00:21:31,964 Mh. To 589 00:21:32,575 --> 00:21:34,796 to do your job. That's not on him. 590 00:21:35,034 --> 00:21:38,232 Mh. And he actually was asking you if 591 00:21:38,232 --> 00:21:40,223 you needed help, and you kept saying no. 592 00:21:40,860 --> 00:21:43,488 So he sat down. Like, what there did 593 00:21:43,488 --> 00:21:44,045 he do wrong? 594 00:21:44,779 --> 00:21:46,377 And I'm like, he didn't do anything wrong. 595 00:21:46,777 --> 00:21:47,836 We go on the boat 596 00:21:48,295 --> 00:21:49,254 later on that evening. 597 00:21:49,813 --> 00:21:52,051 I say to him, like, listen, I wanna 598 00:21:52,051 --> 00:21:52,930 apologize you. 599 00:21:53,424 --> 00:21:55,099 And he's like, for what? I was like, 600 00:21:55,259 --> 00:21:57,812 well, I was really stressed out today, and 601 00:21:57,812 --> 00:21:59,248 he's like, yeah, I could see you, like, 602 00:21:59,488 --> 00:22:02,295 we're really anxious. I... And I understand that 603 00:22:02,295 --> 00:22:04,528 that's not fun or comfortable to be around, 604 00:22:04,847 --> 00:22:06,681 and it goes right. I was like, and 605 00:22:06,841 --> 00:22:08,755 I... And I told him exactly what I 606 00:22:08,755 --> 00:22:10,111 just said. I was like, you know, I 607 00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:12,831 started feeling bad for myself and blaming you 608 00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:14,740 because I didn't wanna be the reason why 609 00:22:14,819 --> 00:22:16,648 I couldn't go a pickle ball. Mh. I 610 00:22:16,648 --> 00:22:17,762 was like, because I really wanted to go. 611 00:22:18,477 --> 00:22:20,306 And he's like, really? And I was like, 612 00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:22,707 Yeah. And I I caught myself doing it, 613 00:22:23,025 --> 00:22:25,092 and that sucked because it really wasn't your 614 00:22:25,092 --> 00:22:26,682 fault. This was my thing to do, 615 00:22:27,398 --> 00:22:28,431 and I'm sorry. 616 00:22:28,924 --> 00:22:30,122 And I goes, oh my. No. It's okay. 617 00:22:30,281 --> 00:22:32,537 I just felt bad that you were feeling 618 00:22:32,915 --> 00:22:35,310 anxious. And I go, yeah. But I'm sorry 619 00:22:35,310 --> 00:22:37,386 for making you feel uncomfortable Yeah. Or for 620 00:22:37,386 --> 00:22:39,318 putting you in situation where it's just not 621 00:22:39,318 --> 00:22:41,235 fun to be around. Yeah. And he goes, 622 00:22:41,475 --> 00:22:43,392 thank you. And I was like, do you 623 00:22:43,392 --> 00:22:44,990 wanna do you wanna kiss a makeup up? 624 00:22:45,562 --> 00:22:48,188 It's like, we're not fighting. And Out your 625 00:22:48,188 --> 00:22:48,426 obsessed. 626 00:22:49,142 --> 00:22:51,688 Feeling. But, I mean, that Let me point 627 00:22:51,688 --> 00:22:53,996 out this exact. I mean, you did it. 628 00:22:54,408 --> 00:22:57,427 So spot on, and I love it. The 629 00:22:57,427 --> 00:23:00,366 the preparation of a relationship of a little 630 00:23:00,366 --> 00:23:02,687 of a of a a dick move. How 631 00:23:02,687 --> 00:23:04,437 about that? Yeah. Okay. It was a dick 632 00:23:04,437 --> 00:23:06,267 move. Yeah. Not my friday that day. So... 633 00:23:06,505 --> 00:23:07,539 Oh, well, you know? 634 00:23:08,589 --> 00:23:09,807 Gotta blame on something 635 00:23:11,301 --> 00:23:12,098 Thank you for picking that. 636 00:23:13,694 --> 00:23:16,427 We acknowledge that there's a problem, and 637 00:23:16,964 --> 00:23:18,893 you then you make a packed to you 638 00:23:18,893 --> 00:23:20,648 and say, hey, can I can I talk 639 00:23:20,648 --> 00:23:22,882 to you about it? Okay? And then you 640 00:23:22,882 --> 00:23:24,180 take full responsibility 641 00:23:24,797 --> 00:23:25,356 for your part. 642 00:23:26,249 --> 00:23:29,126 So that you can you can really take 643 00:23:29,126 --> 00:23:30,644 ownership and then make changes if you need 644 00:23:30,644 --> 00:23:33,521 to adjust, level up, you know, tone it 645 00:23:33,521 --> 00:23:34,320 down, whatever it is. 646 00:23:35,370 --> 00:23:35,870 You 647 00:23:36,323 --> 00:23:38,944 increase your self awareness. You you dove into 648 00:23:38,944 --> 00:23:41,089 it. You were like, oh my gosh. Let 649 00:23:41,089 --> 00:23:42,518 me just analyze a little bit. 650 00:23:43,169 --> 00:23:45,567 I yeah Seeing what's going on. You just... 651 00:23:45,727 --> 00:23:47,325 We wanted to get... You you were like, 652 00:23:48,284 --> 00:23:51,001 you know, the detectives. Secret Mh. Age man. 653 00:23:51,481 --> 00:23:54,365 Like drew. Damn. Fuck yeah. Okay. Like, that 654 00:23:54,365 --> 00:23:56,673 another thing, too. Okay. Because that correlates with 655 00:23:56,673 --> 00:23:58,741 that? Mh. I asked myself. I said, what 656 00:23:58,741 --> 00:24:00,276 in your ideal situation 657 00:24:00,651 --> 00:24:01,367 would he have done? 658 00:24:02,258 --> 00:24:04,014 And I was like, I don't think he 659 00:24:04,014 --> 00:24:05,211 could have done anything. And I'm like, well, 660 00:24:05,291 --> 00:24:06,728 what would you like for next time? And 661 00:24:06,807 --> 00:24:08,404 I said to him. I said, I think 662 00:24:08,404 --> 00:24:09,601 next time if you see me that, 663 00:24:10,413 --> 00:24:11,766 maybe just ask me what do you need 664 00:24:11,766 --> 00:24:13,220 for me? So 665 00:24:13,834 --> 00:24:16,163 it feels like you're not 666 00:24:16,618 --> 00:24:18,704 ignoring me. I goes for sure. He was. 667 00:24:18,943 --> 00:24:20,298 I thought I did. Yeah. And I was 668 00:24:20,298 --> 00:24:22,290 like, okay. Cool. Yeah. I think he he 669 00:24:22,290 --> 00:24:24,840 did. He kinda ted. Yeah. No. 01:30 percent. 670 00:24:25,254 --> 00:24:27,567 So that that is when you were asking 671 00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:29,880 yourself those questions and you kinda you getting 672 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:34,049 a solution, you're exercising empathy, Mh trying to 673 00:24:34,107 --> 00:24:37,469 understand, like, where what would he do? What 674 00:24:37,469 --> 00:24:39,700 what could I do in the situation? You 675 00:24:39,700 --> 00:24:41,873 were nurturing? You ex exited 676 00:24:42,249 --> 00:24:45,687 patient? Yeah. I did. Yes. Yeah. Kindness. Mh. 677 00:24:46,006 --> 00:24:48,233 So you... Because you you chilled the fuck 678 00:24:48,233 --> 00:24:51,096 out. Yeah. Not I I took a walk. 679 00:24:51,589 --> 00:24:54,066 It's great. 5 years ago. Yeah. I would 680 00:24:54,066 --> 00:24:55,983 have fucking not taking a walk. I probably 681 00:24:55,983 --> 00:24:56,702 would have called you, 682 00:24:57,342 --> 00:25:00,073 screaming, called my mom. Then screamed up my 683 00:25:00,073 --> 00:25:02,470 mom about the situation of... Could you believe? 684 00:25:02,710 --> 00:25:04,627 I just that. And they what year's me? 685 00:25:05,027 --> 00:25:08,147 And then I would called my sister. He 686 00:25:08,147 --> 00:25:09,655 believe, the same store I wouldn't call the 687 00:25:09,655 --> 00:25:11,481 same story of, like 10 different people. Mh. 688 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,069 And then I would sat in that shit 689 00:25:13,069 --> 00:25:15,664 feeling because... And and all you do is 690 00:25:15,784 --> 00:25:18,099 create a d in your brain that makes 691 00:25:18,099 --> 00:25:18,977 this of effect. 692 00:25:19,856 --> 00:25:22,091 Yeah. And I like your belief system. That... 693 00:25:22,650 --> 00:25:24,486 Yeah. I reinforce the negative belief system stuff. 694 00:25:24,645 --> 00:25:28,242 Yeah. Yeah. So in in less than that 695 00:25:28,242 --> 00:25:30,469 time, telling 10 people. Mh. You were able 696 00:25:30,469 --> 00:25:32,163 to repair, and 697 00:25:32,474 --> 00:25:34,555 then you both were hearing each other. Yeah. 698 00:25:34,875 --> 00:25:37,115 This is what's interesting about couples too is 699 00:25:37,115 --> 00:25:39,355 that, like, when you can hear each other. 700 00:25:39,515 --> 00:25:41,134 That means that you're legitimately 701 00:25:41,434 --> 00:25:41,934 curious 702 00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:42,910 about 703 00:25:43,850 --> 00:25:46,009 getting to a solution together. Oh, that's a 704 00:25:46,009 --> 00:25:46,509 really 705 00:25:46,890 --> 00:25:49,309 nice Really are. You're you you're curious 706 00:25:49,704 --> 00:25:52,841 He's curious. And it's like, wow. And that 707 00:25:53,779 --> 00:25:57,555 without without knowing that, you you create 708 00:25:57,868 --> 00:26:00,433 an energy of respect 709 00:26:00,807 --> 00:26:01,307 and 710 00:26:02,077 --> 00:26:03,530 connectivity. Mh. So 711 00:26:04,143 --> 00:26:06,843 immediately, when you get curious about 1 another, 712 00:26:08,370 --> 00:26:09,963 you create that that 713 00:26:10,998 --> 00:26:13,069 like, the... I feel seen I feel heard 714 00:26:13,069 --> 00:26:13,388 feeling. 715 00:26:14,184 --> 00:26:16,748 Okay. And that I feel hard not Do 716 00:26:16,748 --> 00:26:19,616 you hear me? Yes. I feel hurt. And 717 00:26:19,616 --> 00:26:21,209 and, you know, and Jj J says it's 718 00:26:21,209 --> 00:26:23,678 really funny. He's like, oh, I didn't hear 719 00:26:23,678 --> 00:26:25,271 what you said said, but it sounded good. 720 00:26:26,242 --> 00:26:27,837 And I'm like, you're a dick. 721 00:26:29,432 --> 00:26:30,309 That's what I said. 722 00:26:33,019 --> 00:26:33,998 Yeah. So 723 00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:37,573 and then I said credit card number. Yeah. 724 00:26:37,812 --> 00:26:39,642 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, I can 725 00:26:39,642 --> 00:26:41,234 make anything work if you just give me 726 00:26:41,234 --> 00:26:43,622 your credit guy. Right. I bet this wouldn't 727 00:26:43,622 --> 00:26:45,491 happen Nordstrom. Yeah. I had 728 00:26:46,027 --> 00:26:48,418 yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all good. So 729 00:26:48,577 --> 00:26:49,295 I did know this car. 730 00:26:52,259 --> 00:26:54,252 So sharing that. And then at the end 731 00:26:54,252 --> 00:26:56,485 of it, what you did is you gave 732 00:26:56,485 --> 00:26:58,638 each other appreciation. Thank you for doing this. 733 00:26:58,797 --> 00:27:01,085 Thank you for sharing that. Thank you. Because 734 00:27:01,204 --> 00:27:03,122 Yeah. This is reinforcement. We're not gonna do 735 00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:04,241 anything and we're not reinforced. 736 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,878 So even if the poor bay behaviors or 737 00:27:06,878 --> 00:27:09,376 the poor thinking, you'd still get reinforced. There's 738 00:27:09,435 --> 00:27:11,441 reinforcement, And that's why we continue to do 739 00:27:11,441 --> 00:27:13,429 things. Very cool. All the time. 740 00:27:14,065 --> 00:27:16,076 So somebody that 741 00:27:16,530 --> 00:27:18,144 may have a particularly 742 00:27:18,916 --> 00:27:19,893 unhealthy behavior 743 00:27:20,362 --> 00:27:22,748 They're still getting reinforced? There's some payoff in 744 00:27:22,748 --> 00:27:25,611 it. Mh. Okay? So does that also correlate 745 00:27:25,611 --> 00:27:27,440 to, like, when you're just complaining about the 746 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,428 same thing with somebody and they're complaining about 747 00:27:29,428 --> 00:27:31,200 it and it's like, this back and forth 748 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,519 ping pong of cleaning you're reinforcing that, like, 749 00:27:33,679 --> 00:27:36,880 your victim or... You're reinforcing, and then the 750 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,559 payoff office is that you don't have to 751 00:27:38,559 --> 00:27:38,960 do the work. 752 00:27:40,329 --> 00:27:43,116 You may feel like you're being connect... You 753 00:27:43,116 --> 00:27:45,266 you're creating connection with that person that you're 754 00:27:45,266 --> 00:27:45,585 pitching to. 755 00:27:46,620 --> 00:27:47,097 But 756 00:27:48,305 --> 00:27:50,526 like, B, like, B Brown says is, like, 757 00:27:51,161 --> 00:27:52,771 real connection is actually 758 00:27:53,144 --> 00:27:55,842 being honest and being vulnerable. 759 00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:59,038 With each other Mh. Versus just talking shit. 760 00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:02,242 I mean, talking shit is the the quickest 761 00:28:02,299 --> 00:28:02,799 way 762 00:28:03,589 --> 00:28:04,089 to 763 00:28:04,470 --> 00:28:05,609 connect and then 764 00:28:05,910 --> 00:28:08,950 create divisive ness, which is us against them. 765 00:28:09,349 --> 00:28:11,190 Nice. And you can see in the political 766 00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:12,924 system what's what's going on with that. So 767 00:28:13,204 --> 00:28:15,681 I even... I have this whole thing, and 768 00:28:15,681 --> 00:28:16,421 this was, 769 00:28:16,879 --> 00:28:18,418 like, right when 770 00:28:19,356 --> 00:28:22,024 my boyfriend and I started talking. Mh. Where 771 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:22,876 I was, like, 772 00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:26,537 everybody always talks about how exciting it is 773 00:28:26,537 --> 00:28:29,100 to meet someone and you wait for the 774 00:28:29,100 --> 00:28:30,078 right person 775 00:28:30,454 --> 00:28:32,207 and you build this up, 776 00:28:32,765 --> 00:28:35,394 and the talking stage is so fun. And 777 00:28:35,394 --> 00:28:37,089 then when you really start dating, 778 00:28:38,039 --> 00:28:40,035 or when you meet a new friend, whatever 779 00:28:40,035 --> 00:28:42,190 it is any new relationship. They always talk 780 00:28:42,190 --> 00:28:44,664 about how exciting it is and help rate 781 00:28:44,664 --> 00:28:47,234 and what they did to court me. But 782 00:28:47,234 --> 00:28:48,988 no 1 talks about how fucking triggering it 783 00:28:48,988 --> 00:28:51,062 is. And I think this goes to, like, 784 00:28:51,222 --> 00:28:52,976 don't be a dick of, like... And I 785 00:28:52,976 --> 00:28:54,970 said to him because then we were talking 786 00:28:54,970 --> 00:28:55,949 about, like, vulnerability, 787 00:28:56,326 --> 00:28:58,254 and he was asked me like, right. So, 788 00:28:58,334 --> 00:28:59,768 wow, would you define... Like, if you just 789 00:28:59,768 --> 00:29:02,340 carry curiosity, You know? Mh. And 790 00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:04,230 1 of the things I was like, I 791 00:29:04,230 --> 00:29:06,642 just, like, learned, and I'm learning still 792 00:29:07,515 --> 00:29:09,595 especially with him just because I'm closer to 793 00:29:09,595 --> 00:29:10,154 him now. I'm like. 794 00:29:10,954 --> 00:29:12,095 That every 795 00:29:12,474 --> 00:29:14,714 relationship in my life, if something's pissing me 796 00:29:14,714 --> 00:29:16,880 off, it's holding a mirror to something in 797 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,391 me that I need to work on. Mh. 798 00:29:18,630 --> 00:29:19,823 And when I react, 799 00:29:20,698 --> 00:29:23,499 I'm, I'm being dick to myself about that 800 00:29:23,499 --> 00:29:25,412 part instead of, like you said, doing the 801 00:29:25,412 --> 00:29:26,470 work. So, 802 00:29:27,085 --> 00:29:29,577 like, whatever it might be. Someone is 803 00:29:31,725 --> 00:29:35,316 lying or being def overly defensive and white 804 00:29:35,316 --> 00:29:37,870 lying because they don't wanna take responsibility. Mh. 805 00:29:38,444 --> 00:29:38,944 That 806 00:29:39,403 --> 00:29:42,759 pisses me off so much. Mh. And this 807 00:29:42,759 --> 00:29:44,516 isn't even with him and we just a 808 00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:45,930 general example, but 809 00:29:46,289 --> 00:29:49,005 that pisses me off because I get so 810 00:29:49,005 --> 00:29:51,642 scared that someone's lying to me. Then I'm 811 00:29:51,642 --> 00:29:52,440 gonna look like an Idiot. 812 00:29:53,174 --> 00:29:55,245 That's where my mind goes. I'm like, why 813 00:29:55,245 --> 00:29:56,121 do you want me to look like an 814 00:29:56,121 --> 00:30:00,184 idiot? Mh. And really, if I was so 815 00:30:00,184 --> 00:30:01,777 detached from it, I'd be like, Jay. 816 00:30:02,827 --> 00:30:04,258 I'm even worry about it. Like, 817 00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:07,597 truth will come out. You know, but there's 818 00:30:07,597 --> 00:30:10,244 something in me that I'm scared of 819 00:30:10,714 --> 00:30:12,389 taking the blame for something I didn't do. 820 00:30:12,628 --> 00:30:14,303 We're not scared. I just don't wanna do 821 00:30:14,303 --> 00:30:15,579 it. Yeah. You know. 822 00:30:16,217 --> 00:30:17,036 It's just a 823 00:30:18,291 --> 00:30:19,727 surface level example, I guess, 824 00:30:20,936 --> 00:30:24,189 Yeah. I'm I'm trying to kinda tie into 825 00:30:24,189 --> 00:30:27,284 that because of when I think of, you 826 00:30:27,284 --> 00:30:30,718 know, probably where this came from, like, my 827 00:30:30,718 --> 00:30:31,934 ex boyfriend was 828 00:30:33,185 --> 00:30:35,492 a dick. I mean, yeah, I mean, to 829 00:30:35,492 --> 00:30:37,099 say the least. I saw a great time. 830 00:30:37,258 --> 00:30:39,093 I'm not saying you mean doesn't mean can't 831 00:30:39,093 --> 00:30:40,528 have fun with a dick. Right. 832 00:30:41,326 --> 00:30:43,262 But right. Right. 833 00:30:44,118 --> 00:30:45,734 Yeah. Well. So 834 00:30:47,323 --> 00:30:47,823 And 835 00:30:48,358 --> 00:30:52,102 I resonate with that. Mh. Like, completely. And, 836 00:30:52,262 --> 00:30:54,907 yes, the the Huntington stage is so fabulous. 837 00:30:55,146 --> 00:30:57,220 I love it. I actually can't even believe 838 00:30:57,220 --> 00:30:59,214 like, I'm not out of it yet. No 839 00:30:59,373 --> 00:31:02,165 Alright. Feel like I can't believe after 10 840 00:31:02,165 --> 00:31:04,253 years with Jj because we're only 20 me 841 00:31:04,253 --> 00:31:07,436 7. Yeah. It's so great. Yeah. 842 00:31:08,311 --> 00:31:10,062 And I remembered those him... I mean, I... 843 00:31:10,221 --> 00:31:11,733 If you... Since you do know Jj j, 844 00:31:11,971 --> 00:31:14,532 so well. Like, Could you imagine him he 845 00:31:14,532 --> 00:31:16,361 talked to me 4 hours a night? 846 00:31:17,235 --> 00:31:19,700 On the phone after being, you know what? 847 00:31:19,939 --> 00:31:21,926 I can just because Worked right out? 848 00:31:23,134 --> 00:31:25,295 But yeah. But, like he. Hold on. Hold 849 00:31:25,295 --> 00:31:26,174 on. Let me say talk. 850 00:31:26,815 --> 00:31:29,934 He listened to me for for, Not not 851 00:31:29,934 --> 00:31:32,115 just talk. Just like not my hand because 852 00:31:32,509 --> 00:31:34,750 true too, I will say this. Okay? So 853 00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:37,630 then ever relationships is different. Right? And the 854 00:31:37,630 --> 00:31:39,230 relationships... Like, you talk about all the time 855 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:41,009 the relationships you have with other people 856 00:31:41,403 --> 00:31:43,396 are, you know, your different roles and you're 857 00:31:43,396 --> 00:31:45,150 wearing different hats. And they could be triggering 858 00:31:45,150 --> 00:31:46,346 in other ways, and you could be being 859 00:31:46,346 --> 00:31:47,403 a dick to your 860 00:31:48,019 --> 00:31:50,421 friend, but then have the best day ever 861 00:31:50,421 --> 00:31:52,088 with your boyfriend and a girlfriend, and or, 862 00:31:52,247 --> 00:31:53,302 you know, it can be 863 00:31:53,913 --> 00:31:55,262 back and forth, but when I first started 864 00:31:55,262 --> 00:31:56,238 working for jj, 865 00:31:57,420 --> 00:31:58,849 I remember, I was like, okay. Yeah. This 866 00:31:58,849 --> 00:32:00,121 guy's is really cool, and he's like, on, 867 00:32:00,359 --> 00:32:01,948 like, we'll go get lunch like, for the 868 00:32:01,948 --> 00:32:03,616 first day, and then we'll come back and 869 00:32:03,616 --> 00:32:05,919 we'll eat it and like, okay, And walking 870 00:32:05,919 --> 00:32:06,237 and I go, 871 00:32:07,286 --> 00:32:08,241 So how'd do you meet your wife? 872 00:32:09,356 --> 00:32:11,186 That he just was like, what? And I'm 873 00:32:11,186 --> 00:32:12,142 like, how'd you meet your wife? 874 00:32:12,778 --> 00:32:13,813 I was like, tell me about her. 875 00:32:14,704 --> 00:32:15,579 And mean just, like, 876 00:32:16,215 --> 00:32:16,692 different. 877 00:32:17,647 --> 00:32:20,033 Even the people that work there now, they 878 00:32:20,033 --> 00:32:21,306 say it too. I mean, like, 879 00:32:21,958 --> 00:32:23,867 He got soft. Yeah. He's was like, oh, 880 00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:25,778 he's a good guy. I like. He loves 881 00:32:25,778 --> 00:32:26,494 like. He's. 882 00:32:27,369 --> 00:32:29,518 He loves me. He loves me. But it's 883 00:32:29,518 --> 00:32:31,444 it's it's interesting. I think the world's that 884 00:32:31,444 --> 00:32:32,163 you play in 885 00:32:33,442 --> 00:32:35,360 in different relationships in your life. Right? Like, 886 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,917 your... You can be the same person to 887 00:32:37,917 --> 00:32:41,126 your core, but different. You know? Mh. And 888 00:32:41,205 --> 00:32:42,184 I think that 889 00:32:42,881 --> 00:32:46,013 different behaviors in those relationships can 890 00:32:46,470 --> 00:32:47,746 be like, oh that was kind of a 891 00:32:47,746 --> 00:32:49,261 dick thing for me to do, even though 892 00:32:49,261 --> 00:32:51,769 someone be, like, Notes not. You know, so 893 00:32:52,145 --> 00:32:53,420 going back to what you said, how do 894 00:32:53,420 --> 00:32:54,775 you know if you're being a dick, we 895 00:32:54,775 --> 00:32:55,753 have to define 896 00:32:56,449 --> 00:32:58,692 what being a dick is. Well, And and 897 00:32:58,852 --> 00:33:00,761 I think what we did is just say 898 00:33:00,761 --> 00:33:03,704 energetically, it's your... It's it's going off of 899 00:33:03,704 --> 00:33:04,204 your 900 00:33:05,069 --> 00:33:08,163 determining, Mh. You're you're determining it based off 901 00:33:08,163 --> 00:33:08,798 of your, 902 00:33:10,067 --> 00:33:12,660 spine, your core value. Yeah. You know? And 903 00:33:13,415 --> 00:33:14,051 even still, 904 00:33:15,005 --> 00:33:15,824 the triggering 905 00:33:16,278 --> 00:33:17,573 with my 906 00:33:18,107 --> 00:33:20,095 dick boyfriend, you know, then, 907 00:33:20,651 --> 00:33:22,265 and then I have 908 00:33:23,773 --> 00:33:27,688 Jj who's kind and loving and, you know, 909 00:33:28,247 --> 00:33:29,925 courageous to even date me, 910 00:33:31,529 --> 00:33:35,262 so it's... It was wonderful and still also 911 00:33:35,262 --> 00:33:38,280 triggering because just just by, like, the height. 912 00:33:38,534 --> 00:33:40,446 They both were the same high. Like just 913 00:33:40,446 --> 00:33:42,995 even, like, interesting, like, dynamics on that. So 914 00:33:42,995 --> 00:33:44,349 you're you're having verbal, 915 00:33:45,465 --> 00:33:47,797 triggering possibly. Mh. You have 916 00:33:48,742 --> 00:33:51,361 situational. Mh. You know? And then there... To 917 00:33:51,361 --> 00:33:53,662 all different types of things to trigger in 918 00:33:53,662 --> 00:33:55,090 a brand new in the brand new relationship. 919 00:33:55,583 --> 00:33:57,098 So... Well, and it's interesting too because be 920 00:33:57,098 --> 00:33:59,650 between... Just acknowledge that though. Yeah really just 921 00:33:59,650 --> 00:34:01,245 start to acknowledge it and and make sure 922 00:34:01,245 --> 00:34:03,638 you take responsibility into your own inventory and 923 00:34:03,638 --> 00:34:05,964 go, gosh, it's not it it really... It 924 00:34:05,964 --> 00:34:07,955 might not be the problem... The person might 925 00:34:07,955 --> 00:34:10,686 not be the problem you Might actually be 926 00:34:10,744 --> 00:34:13,858 the 1 carrying. Some baggage. Yeah. Yeah. So 927 00:34:13,858 --> 00:34:16,105 a few exercises, I think that 928 00:34:16,637 --> 00:34:19,257 I do now that I had can touch 929 00:34:19,257 --> 00:34:21,494 myself in those situations. And so they're like 930 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:23,953 super easy, and this is, like idiot proof. 931 00:34:24,112 --> 00:34:26,333 You know? Like, it doesn't take a genius 932 00:34:26,333 --> 00:34:27,444 to have to, like, sit down and do 933 00:34:27,444 --> 00:34:30,078 it and. The beauty of it is. So 934 00:34:30,078 --> 00:34:30,578 your 935 00:34:30,952 --> 00:34:33,095 dialogue that you're saying yourself and Mh. When 936 00:34:33,095 --> 00:34:35,318 you're trying to, I guess, be self aware, 937 00:34:35,969 --> 00:34:36,469 and 938 00:34:36,928 --> 00:34:39,106 take inventory in the middle of a heated 939 00:34:39,325 --> 00:34:39,825 situation 940 00:34:40,204 --> 00:34:43,640 is what I did that morning was halt. 941 00:34:43,974 --> 00:34:47,170 Jackie halt. Halt, jackie halt. Halt, Jackie halt. 942 00:34:47,729 --> 00:34:50,526 Halt is an acronym you always use, hungry 943 00:34:50,526 --> 00:34:53,409 angry lonely tired. And I'm fucking starving. Having 944 00:34:53,409 --> 00:34:53,967 that coffee. 945 00:34:54,603 --> 00:34:55,319 I'm angry. 946 00:34:56,911 --> 00:34:58,820 I'm anxious. I'm not angry today. Yeah. Yeah. 947 00:34:59,059 --> 00:35:00,514 I thought not only 948 00:35:01,065 --> 00:35:03,144 my little sleepy. And I'm like, okay. So 949 00:35:03,144 --> 00:35:03,465 that's, like, 950 00:35:04,264 --> 00:35:04,764 free 951 00:35:05,385 --> 00:35:06,985 out of the 4. You take the hunger 952 00:35:06,985 --> 00:35:07,465 and I'm done. 953 00:35:08,985 --> 00:35:11,867 No but, like, mean seriously. Yeah. If I'm 954 00:35:11,867 --> 00:35:14,094 hungry, ask ask my friend Chandler. 955 00:35:14,651 --> 00:35:16,162 She knows. Yeah. She's like, 956 00:35:16,974 --> 00:35:19,291 girl get this... What get this something... Something 957 00:35:19,371 --> 00:35:21,049 Yeah. To eat right now because she's going... 958 00:35:21,289 --> 00:35:23,366 She's going down quick. Yeah. Well, I just 959 00:35:23,366 --> 00:35:24,816 kept saying that over we're... We're gonna and 960 00:35:24,816 --> 00:35:26,805 being like, okay. Well, I I have a 961 00:35:26,805 --> 00:35:29,748 problem with myself. I just... It's me. Brave. 962 00:35:30,543 --> 00:35:31,021 Don't react. 963 00:35:31,753 --> 00:35:35,024 Fucking chill, like, literally, talk to myself like 964 00:35:35,024 --> 00:35:36,859 that. I don't even doing, like the countdown 965 00:35:36,859 --> 00:35:39,265 method where I'm like, just, like, picture something 966 00:35:39,265 --> 00:35:40,936 that makes you feel good and look forward 967 00:35:40,936 --> 00:35:42,449 to something, even if it's not going to 968 00:35:42,449 --> 00:35:44,279 pickle ball, What else can you do? It's 969 00:35:44,279 --> 00:35:45,950 beautiful after. Just go to the beach, just 970 00:35:45,950 --> 00:35:47,780 like walk to the beach and chill out. 971 00:35:48,193 --> 00:35:50,738 Like, chill out, like, maybe you need a 972 00:35:50,738 --> 00:35:52,408 minute. Oh, you know? It's also really cool. 973 00:35:52,647 --> 00:35:53,760 No. You don't have to rush. You know? 974 00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:55,987 And then I just start naming things off, 975 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:57,380 that 976 00:35:58,480 --> 00:35:59,920 are kind of opposite to the way that 977 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,640 I'm feeling. Yeah. And some Russian washing washing 978 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,720 and I'm like, well, no ref A reframe. 979 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:05,519 Yeah. Yeah. 980 00:36:06,252 --> 00:36:07,150 And that's super 981 00:36:07,766 --> 00:36:10,315 helpful. That's something that I do. You're 1 982 00:36:10,315 --> 00:36:12,067 thought away from being being happy. 983 00:36:12,704 --> 00:36:15,037 How about this 1? Your 1 thought 984 00:36:15,348 --> 00:36:16,167 away from 985 00:36:16,783 --> 00:36:17,341 beat to dick. 986 00:36:18,456 --> 00:36:18,956 Yeah. 987 00:36:19,971 --> 00:36:22,521 There's a meter. There the... Nickel meter. 988 00:36:24,051 --> 00:36:25,349 They call me. The. 989 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:28,039 Yeah. 990 00:36:30,751 --> 00:36:31,947 It's safety. 991 00:36:32,505 --> 00:36:34,358 Wait. I'm blushing now. You know, 992 00:36:36,436 --> 00:36:39,093 you know, avid. Something you know 993 00:36:39,792 --> 00:36:41,790 You know, I discovered a new thing. 994 00:36:42,524 --> 00:36:43,162 What's that? 995 00:36:43,721 --> 00:36:44,221 So 996 00:36:45,157 --> 00:36:47,552 instead of I'm not hungry. If I'm hot, 997 00:36:47,951 --> 00:36:49,946 I get pissed. My Ac is kinda broken? 998 00:36:51,155 --> 00:36:53,166 And I have bench fits 999 00:36:54,734 --> 00:36:55,211 apartment. 1000 00:36:56,324 --> 00:36:57,778 What? And it's so. 1001 00:36:58,471 --> 00:37:00,005 And last night. I 1002 00:37:00,554 --> 00:37:01,903 He's like, he's like, 1003 00:37:02,697 --> 00:37:04,523 dropping everything and I'm like, if few with 1004 00:37:04,523 --> 00:37:07,540 just for 5 minutes. Just sit out. He's 1005 00:37:07,540 --> 00:37:07,778 like, 1006 00:37:08,509 --> 00:37:09,864 I'm laying down. And I'm like, 1007 00:37:10,661 --> 00:37:12,415 oh, you're dropping everything and you don't have 1008 00:37:12,415 --> 00:37:13,451 to get up and get it So I'm 1009 00:37:13,451 --> 00:37:15,763 sure you're not sweating. And then I just 1010 00:37:15,763 --> 00:37:17,291 started laughing and I go no, but, like, 1011 00:37:17,450 --> 00:37:19,756 feel on my back. Like, it's so gross. 1012 00:37:20,949 --> 00:37:23,255 You're too young to be doing that? No. 1013 00:37:23,572 --> 00:37:25,401 I'm not kidding. I call my mom and 1014 00:37:25,481 --> 00:37:25,958 I'm like, dude, 1015 00:37:26,768 --> 00:37:28,595 she said, went quick. I got. I only 1016 00:37:28,595 --> 00:37:29,946 got a 5 minutes, and I'm sweating and 1017 00:37:30,025 --> 00:37:31,535 I got in house, and I go, I've 1018 00:37:31,535 --> 00:37:33,226 never related to you warren, and I'm 1019 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:36,101 not even going through better pause. I am 1020 00:37:36,791 --> 00:37:39,647 hot flashes doing bitch. I am literally in 1021 00:37:39,647 --> 00:37:42,027 the middle of this book a new menopause. 1022 00:37:42,918 --> 00:37:44,273 I can't believe I'm reading this. I can't... 1023 00:37:44,592 --> 00:37:46,983 Can't blame believe I'm in this place right 1024 00:37:46,983 --> 00:37:49,135 now. If it makes feeling better. Literally my 1025 00:37:49,135 --> 00:37:50,411 whole body turned fucking red. 1026 00:37:51,064 --> 00:37:53,061 You know that? I know. When I just 1027 00:37:53,061 --> 00:37:54,659 got, like a little warm, and I'm, like, 1028 00:37:54,819 --> 00:37:56,757 sitting in a in a, like, an office 1029 00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:59,305 situation, for example, like, my chest goes and 1030 00:37:59,305 --> 00:38:00,980 then it just floods down my arms and 1031 00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:02,815 then my legs, and then all a sudden 1032 00:38:02,974 --> 00:38:05,367 I'm like, mother, fuck, and my cheeks get 1033 00:38:05,367 --> 00:38:07,042 really red when you can't play poker. 1034 00:38:08,252 --> 00:38:08,752 No. 1035 00:38:09,603 --> 00:38:12,225 Otherwise, I would be in vegas. Yeah. I'm 1036 00:38:12,225 --> 00:38:13,020 young and domino. 1037 00:38:13,655 --> 00:38:14,371 Okay no. 1038 00:38:15,739 --> 00:38:18,056 No. That's so good. Yeah. That's what really 1039 00:38:18,056 --> 00:38:20,454 sucks I would play poker, if I could. 1040 00:38:20,933 --> 00:38:22,452 Out to vegas ones, and I was, like, 1041 00:38:22,692 --> 00:38:25,025 I've literally never wanted to leave place more 1042 00:38:25,025 --> 00:38:26,545 than vegas in Miami. 1043 00:38:27,664 --> 00:38:28,385 Oh, wow. 1044 00:38:29,184 --> 00:38:29,424 Yeah. 1045 00:38:29,984 --> 00:38:30,464 Too much. 1046 00:38:31,344 --> 00:38:32,964 Too much. It's... Lots of. 1047 00:38:34,950 --> 00:38:37,016 Lots of little dick energy Yeah. Lots of 1048 00:38:37,016 --> 00:38:39,638 little dick energy. Oh my god. Wow what 1049 00:38:39,638 --> 00:38:41,783 is up with everybody trying to be somebody? 1050 00:38:42,755 --> 00:38:44,355 That's what I wanna know. What is going 1051 00:38:44,355 --> 00:38:44,675 on? 1052 00:38:45,394 --> 00:38:46,114 Yeah. I mean, 1053 00:38:47,474 --> 00:38:49,635 and and everyone's running from not to? 1054 00:38:50,275 --> 00:38:53,641 Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Great answer. It's 1055 00:38:53,641 --> 00:38:54,278 so true. 1056 00:38:55,075 --> 00:38:55,393 Yeah. 1057 00:38:55,951 --> 00:38:57,784 It's a mask, man. Well, 1058 00:38:59,233 --> 00:39:01,727 Everybody take your individual part and responsibility. 1059 00:39:02,184 --> 00:39:05,316 Yeah. And do your inventory and make sure 1060 00:39:05,534 --> 00:39:09,296 you don't be a dick. Yeah. I Yeah. 1061 00:39:09,853 --> 00:39:12,080 And also, when you take accountability, it's kind 1062 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:12,955 of turn off. 1063 00:39:14,228 --> 00:39:16,311 Oh, hills. Yeah. You could be so wrong 1064 00:39:16,311 --> 00:39:17,502 and just look at somebody be like I 1065 00:39:17,502 --> 00:39:17,900 fucked up. 1066 00:39:18,932 --> 00:39:21,236 Oh, and that's hot. I fucked up. Yeah. 1067 00:39:21,474 --> 00:39:23,315 And everyone just looks to you goes. So 1068 00:39:23,315 --> 00:39:24,108 right, man, 1069 00:39:24,742 --> 00:39:25,242 whatever. 1070 00:39:27,438 --> 00:39:28,572 That is it is 1071 00:39:29,261 --> 00:39:30,475 I'm a real 1072 00:39:30,863 --> 00:39:33,170 I'm sorry Does actually go a long way. 1073 00:39:33,726 --> 00:39:34,920 When you really do need it? Yeah. 1074 00:39:36,034 --> 00:39:38,037 I am old, last thing. I used to 1075 00:39:38,037 --> 00:39:39,311 say... I actually came up with this when 1076 00:39:39,390 --> 00:39:40,743 I'm a kid. I swear to god. I 1077 00:39:40,743 --> 00:39:42,414 remember I wrote down. I probably was, like, 1078 00:39:42,574 --> 00:39:43,608 12:13. 1079 00:39:43,767 --> 00:39:45,438 And I was, like, playing soccer. I was, 1080 00:39:45,598 --> 00:39:47,053 like, really getting into physical 1081 00:39:47,601 --> 00:39:48,101 activity 1082 00:39:48,474 --> 00:39:50,696 and reaping the rewards. It's because I was 1083 00:39:50,696 --> 00:39:52,601 just feeling better. And I remember I would 1084 00:39:52,601 --> 00:39:54,029 go to my grandma's house, and I love 1085 00:39:54,029 --> 00:39:56,186 my So much and she just makes so 1086 00:39:56,186 --> 00:39:58,432 much food, because she's from Germany and she's 1087 00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:00,153 loves to feed me and but 1 of 1088 00:40:00,153 --> 00:40:01,977 her traditions is coffee and cake, and you 1089 00:40:01,977 --> 00:40:02,612 have to do it. 1090 00:40:03,264 --> 00:40:05,019 And I'm, like, the only 1 that really 1091 00:40:05,019 --> 00:40:06,536 had a sweet tooth, and I would binge 1092 00:40:06,536 --> 00:40:08,610 man. Like, I... She would love me she 1093 00:40:08,610 --> 00:40:10,706 be like, you're not gonna eat the 1094 00:40:11,179 --> 00:40:13,277 the the chocolate cake watermark. 1095 00:40:14,055 --> 00:40:15,414 And I be like, oh oman, I... Oh 1096 00:40:15,414 --> 00:40:16,851 oman, I said I don't want a piece 1097 00:40:16,931 --> 00:40:18,130 I want the whole pie. 1098 00:40:18,784 --> 00:40:20,302 You did it in your name. Yeah. And 1099 00:40:20,463 --> 00:40:21,821 I would eat it. I be like, home 1100 00:40:21,821 --> 00:40:24,538 on God. I feel like shit. And I 1101 00:40:24,538 --> 00:40:26,057 would go home and my mom duck You 1102 00:40:26,057 --> 00:40:27,815 did it again. Did it you. What are 1103 00:40:27,815 --> 00:40:30,144 you gonna how hard now, and I'm like 1104 00:40:30,144 --> 00:40:32,218 because literally in don't want to. It's like, 1105 00:40:32,297 --> 00:40:34,929 that's the only moments in my head where 1106 00:40:35,009 --> 00:40:37,561 I'm in heaven. Yeah. It was like, it 1107 00:40:37,561 --> 00:40:39,809 was amazing. And... But I felt like shit. 1108 00:40:39,968 --> 00:40:42,201 Right? Mh. And I remember going to talk 1109 00:40:42,201 --> 00:40:43,795 about this next morning and being like, 1110 00:40:44,512 --> 00:40:44,831 wow. 1111 00:40:45,469 --> 00:40:46,607 Okay. So 1112 00:40:46,998 --> 00:40:48,989 the word sorry really fucking doesn't mean anything. 1113 00:40:49,148 --> 00:40:51,138 This is what I'm saying... Number vividly. And 1114 00:40:51,297 --> 00:40:53,685 I'm like because I'm sorry body that I 1115 00:40:53,685 --> 00:40:55,374 didn't eat like that. Now I could just 1116 00:40:55,374 --> 00:40:57,212 sit down and not do anything. I'll still 1117 00:40:57,212 --> 00:40:59,230 feel like shit. Now I have to go 1118 00:40:59,369 --> 00:41:01,707 run, and I'm gonna eat a healthy breakfast 1119 00:41:01,846 --> 00:41:03,285 because then it's gonna make me feel better. 1120 00:41:03,699 --> 00:41:05,294 So I guess there was action that has 1121 00:41:05,294 --> 00:41:07,049 to be tied with the word, and your 1122 00:41:07,049 --> 00:41:08,564 body is the best example of the word. 1123 00:41:08,804 --> 00:41:09,123 Sorry. 1124 00:41:10,957 --> 00:41:13,031 I know I never forget it because then 1125 00:41:13,110 --> 00:41:14,478 I remember told my mom and she goes, 1126 00:41:15,114 --> 00:41:15,751 oh my god. 1127 00:41:17,102 --> 00:41:18,851 Oh my god. And I go let who's 1128 00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:20,362 eat so fucking smart. 1129 00:41:23,479 --> 00:41:24,617 You goes know seriously. 1130 00:41:24,995 --> 00:41:26,831 You really are. Give me a I... You 1131 00:41:26,831 --> 00:41:28,827 me and your father, combine the best parts 1132 00:41:28,827 --> 00:41:29,864 of us if we had a good mom. 1133 00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:31,700 Because my mom was good. 1134 00:41:32,994 --> 00:41:33,494 That's 1135 00:41:33,795 --> 00:41:35,255 okay. School seriously. 1136 00:41:35,635 --> 00:41:36,755 You don't even need a man in the 1137 00:41:36,755 --> 00:41:36,914 house. 1138 00:41:37,714 --> 00:41:40,763 You're so fucking smart. You're only 12. 1139 00:41:41,479 --> 00:41:42,275 This kid. 1140 00:41:43,150 --> 00:41:45,878 Oh, and you... And here is a... Here's 1141 00:41:46,015 --> 00:41:48,482 and here the kid. The installation of limiting 1142 00:41:48,482 --> 00:41:48,800 the belief. 1143 00:41:50,008 --> 00:41:51,837 You don't need a man in house. Yeah. 1144 00:41:52,632 --> 00:41:53,348 Oh, please. 1145 00:41:54,063 --> 00:41:55,097 Oh, please. No. 1146 00:41:55,972 --> 00:41:56,925 There's no man in the house. 1147 00:41:57,892 --> 00:41:59,478 Oh, I aim amen. Yeah. So I mean, 1148 00:41:59,795 --> 00:42:00,612 action follows... 1149 00:42:01,221 --> 00:42:02,672 Follows words. And 1150 00:42:03,757 --> 00:42:04,495 just be 1151 00:42:04,884 --> 00:42:06,083 fucking straight up. 1152 00:42:07,921 --> 00:42:08,421 Don't 1153 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:09,300 be 1154 00:42:10,079 --> 00:42:10,558 a dick. 1155 00:42:11,358 --> 00:42:12,236 Unless it's a good dick. 1156 00:42:14,248 --> 00:42:14,748 And 1157 00:42:15,362 --> 00:42:16,100 I got 1158 00:42:18,304 --> 00:42:19,099 speaking of Dick. 1159 00:42:19,735 --> 00:42:21,644 Oh, I need to get myself home. 1160 00:42:24,132 --> 00:42:26,450 I see myself out. Have a good night. 1161 00:42:26,849 --> 00:42:27,648 Okay. Ciao. 1162 00:42:28,608 --> 00:42:30,605 Thanks for listening. Make sure to like this 1163 00:42:30,605 --> 00:42:33,563 podcast on Instagram at ba pocket Wisdom, along 1164 00:42:33,563 --> 00:42:35,390 with following you first now and Life of 1165 00:42:35,390 --> 00:42:38,092 birch and subscribe to the u first now 1166 00:42:38,092 --> 00:42:40,410 newsletter at u first dot net. See you 1167 00:42:40,410 --> 00:42:40,806 next time.