WEBVTT 00:00:02.917 --> 00:00:08.257 Hey everybody, welcome to episode 428 of The Virtual Couch and episode 20 of 00:00:08.257 --> 00:00:10.437 The Mind, The Mirror, and Me. I am your host, Tony Overbay. 00:00:10.717 --> 00:00:14.757 I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified mindful habit coach, 00:00:14.897 --> 00:00:16.577 writer, speaker, husband, father of four. 00:00:16.757 --> 00:00:21.297 And please go to TonyOverbay.com, sign up for the newsletter or visit me on 00:00:21.297 --> 00:00:25.417 social media at virtual.couch on Instagram, at virtualcouch on TikTok, 00:00:25.737 --> 00:00:30.637 Tony Overbay licensed marriage and family therapist on Facebook and so on and so forth. 00:00:30.737 --> 00:00:33.037 Now, why the crossover episode today? 00:00:33.177 --> 00:00:37.537 Well, soon you'll be listening to an interview with my daughter, McKinley and myself. 00:00:37.797 --> 00:00:40.077 And I really want to encourage you to stick around for this one. 00:00:40.197 --> 00:00:45.317 McKinley or Mackie, as she goes by has had a pretty incredible 2024, 00:00:45.437 --> 00:00:49.857 but not in the way you might think like, oh my gosh, every second of it's been 00:00:49.857 --> 00:00:50.957 just amazing and wonderful. 00:00:51.417 --> 00:00:55.317 She'll go into a lot of detail tell during the interview, but here's a little quick backstory. 00:00:55.817 --> 00:01:00.897 So in February, on a Sunday afternoon, I think it was, while my wife and I were 00:01:00.897 --> 00:01:03.497 in the process of putting our house up for sale for the first time in over 20 00:01:03.497 --> 00:01:07.037 years, Mackie called and she was not doing well. 00:01:07.317 --> 00:01:10.117 And she had recently learned about a pretty serious diagnosis, 00:01:10.537 --> 00:01:13.957 an autoimmune disorder that we'll talk about in the interview. 00:01:14.197 --> 00:01:17.777 And at that time, she was struggling. She was living alone in Utah. 00:01:17.777 --> 00:01:22.737 She had decided to move back home and then she was going to relocate to Arizona 00:01:22.737 --> 00:01:27.457 with us and try and just get a handle on all of the different things happening in her life. 00:01:27.777 --> 00:01:32.017 She had gone out and tried to go out on her own as a cosmetologist. 00:01:32.057 --> 00:01:36.397 It had a little bit of success, but that was pretty brutal of trying to drum up her own clients. 00:01:36.517 --> 00:01:40.097 And then just her health just did not, she did not feel good. 00:01:40.217 --> 00:01:42.337 And she just really thought what is wrong with me? 00:01:42.557 --> 00:01:45.937 So finding Finding out about this autoimmune disorder was helpful, 00:01:46.157 --> 00:01:48.077 but it was also overwhelming and intimidating. 00:01:48.277 --> 00:01:51.817 And over the last year or so prior to finding out about that, 00:01:51.997 --> 00:01:54.437 she had just, she had put on a lot of weight. 00:01:54.497 --> 00:01:58.697 She had become pretty lethargic and she's been pretty open about that on the 00:01:58.697 --> 00:01:59.557 Mind the Mirror Me podcast. 00:02:00.669 --> 00:02:05.829 And I'm not sure if I addressed this in the interview, but we really were just worried about her. 00:02:05.849 --> 00:02:10.489 And I believe she opens up about how she was feeling and again, not doing very well. 00:02:10.949 --> 00:02:15.309 But I had asked her on that afternoon, that conversation, if she really wanted 00:02:15.309 --> 00:02:19.529 me to just jump on a plane, fly out to Utah and drive her home. And she kept saying no. 00:02:19.709 --> 00:02:24.589 But in that moment, I guess I had my own little epiphany and it connects to 00:02:24.589 --> 00:02:28.349 my emotional baseline theory that when life is really hard, you still have to 00:02:28.349 --> 00:02:29.509 make all of your daily decisions. 00:02:29.509 --> 00:02:34.269 But sometimes your baseline of emotions is so low that you can't really reach 00:02:34.269 --> 00:02:35.849 or access the tools that you need. 00:02:36.049 --> 00:02:39.509 So when somebody offers help, you may not feel able to say yes, 00:02:39.529 --> 00:02:42.449 or like you're deserving of saying yes, even though you need it. 00:02:42.469 --> 00:02:45.009 You may not even know that that is really what you need. 00:02:45.329 --> 00:02:49.029 And it's a tricky balance because you really want to respect somebody's autonomy, 00:02:49.269 --> 00:02:50.749 their independence, their boundaries. 00:02:51.149 --> 00:02:56.289 But sometimes it does feel like you need to step in because this person may 00:02:56.289 --> 00:03:00.609 not be in a position where they can make good decisions because that baseline is so low. 00:03:01.449 --> 00:03:05.309 And in the world of differentiation, David Schnarch talks about this concept 00:03:05.309 --> 00:03:08.809 of constructing your crucible, where you reach gridlock with somebody, 00:03:08.969 --> 00:03:12.849 often a partner, but it could be anybody, where neither of you can validate 00:03:12.849 --> 00:03:15.669 yourselves or each other. And so you really are at this standstill. 00:03:16.189 --> 00:03:18.849 And that's what I felt like Mackie and I were. She's saying, 00:03:18.869 --> 00:03:21.929 I don't know what to do. I am not good. And I'm saying, do you want me to come 00:03:21.929 --> 00:03:23.109 out and get you? And she's saying no. 00:03:23.549 --> 00:03:27.589 And so neither of us felt very good about that. And Schnarch says that gridlock 00:03:27.589 --> 00:03:30.889 is where you then construct this crucible. 00:03:30.969 --> 00:03:34.789 You extract your unresolved personal issues from the situation and you confront 00:03:34.789 --> 00:03:35.869 them as an act of integrity. 00:03:36.309 --> 00:03:40.189 And sometimes that means owning your projections and that projection is okay. 00:03:40.269 --> 00:03:43.429 Well, she's, she's not going to want me to do this, or she's going to be really upset. 00:03:43.769 --> 00:03:49.129 And so I'm owning that, that that is a projection of mine. And if I just let 00:03:49.129 --> 00:03:51.449 that projection take over, 00:03:51.609 --> 00:03:55.849 then I'm not even going to give whatever it is a chance to happen, 00:03:55.929 --> 00:04:00.649 whether it is me going out there or just trying to be there for her. 00:04:00.749 --> 00:04:04.689 Because what if she really isn't in a position to make a good decision for herself? 00:04:05.189 --> 00:04:08.309 So owning your projections, even when the other person doesn't reciprocate, 00:04:08.349 --> 00:04:13.169 you focus on yourself, not the relationship and not on changing the other person. 00:04:13.749 --> 00:04:17.689 So I think you can maybe see where this can get really, really tricky because 00:04:17.689 --> 00:04:22.609 Schnarch talks about constructing this crucible after you are in a pretty good 00:04:22.609 --> 00:04:26.189 place where you are becoming very differentiated. 00:04:26.269 --> 00:04:29.629 And that he has these four points of balance that I've been talking about on 00:04:29.629 --> 00:04:31.469 so many of the podcasts over the last few months. 00:04:31.629 --> 00:04:34.689 But that first one, just you have this solid but flexible sense of self, 00:04:34.809 --> 00:04:41.769 knowing who you are without needing others to tell you and learning how to not 00:04:41.769 --> 00:04:44.889 require or live for external validation. 00:04:45.942 --> 00:04:48.842 And that then leads to the second point of balance where you have this quiet 00:04:48.842 --> 00:04:53.382 mind, this calm heart where you're able to self-soothe and you're able to manage your own anxiety, 00:04:54.002 --> 00:04:57.562 which then leads to this third point of balance, which is a more grounded response, 00:04:57.842 --> 00:05:01.722 which means not overreacting, not underreacting, but really starting to show up. 00:05:01.802 --> 00:05:06.702 And then his fourth point of balance, it is owning your own part of a situation, 00:05:06.922 --> 00:05:09.862 not projecting it onto somebody else, not saying that, yeah, 00:05:09.882 --> 00:05:14.062 well, I behave this way because you did this, but owning my part and then taking 00:05:14.062 --> 00:05:15.222 responsibility for change. 00:05:15.942 --> 00:05:19.402 Because so often people can then say, no, my bad. But if you say, 00:05:19.442 --> 00:05:22.742 well, you're bad, what? Tell me more about that. They're saying, no, I said it was my bad. 00:05:23.242 --> 00:05:26.442 Or I run into this a lot where people in a session might say, 00:05:26.502 --> 00:05:27.722 no, you know what? I really understand now. 00:05:27.802 --> 00:05:31.462 I just need to really, I just really need to be more serious about my efforts 00:05:31.462 --> 00:05:34.882 of whether it's turning away from unhealthy coping mechanisms or trying to show 00:05:34.882 --> 00:05:35.782 up different in a marriage. 00:05:35.982 --> 00:05:39.042 And they can say that. And it does feel good. And I believe in that moment, 00:05:39.082 --> 00:05:42.122 that person really does believe that this is what I need to do. 00:05:42.182 --> 00:05:44.942 And the person listening might even say, okay, cool. Cool. Sounds like you're 00:05:44.942 --> 00:05:46.502 really taking this serious. 00:05:46.982 --> 00:05:51.462 But then the person feels so good about what they just said and how the other 00:05:51.462 --> 00:05:56.402 person's reacting that do they wake up the next day and do they start their meditation practice? 00:05:56.642 --> 00:05:59.602 Do they start journaling? Do they go to the gym? Do they read the self-help 00:05:59.602 --> 00:06:02.582 book? Do they schedule therapy? Or do they feel like, no, I actually feel pretty good now. 00:06:03.042 --> 00:06:06.502 And is that just a way to alleviate that discomfort? So you have to get to this 00:06:06.502 --> 00:06:11.762 place of being fairly well differentiated to then act in this position of creating this crucible. 00:06:12.602 --> 00:06:18.102 And the reason why is because you have to be able to, and I got to come up with 00:06:18.102 --> 00:06:21.342 a better phrase, but it's almost as if, okay, I am willing to die on this hill 00:06:21.342 --> 00:06:24.002 of what I am willing to do. 00:06:24.202 --> 00:06:26.802 And I felt like this was one of those moments for me. Was I willing to die on 00:06:26.802 --> 00:06:30.022 this hill of Mackie potentially being upset with me? 00:06:30.062 --> 00:06:33.822 If I got on a plane, flew to Utah and said, Hey, I'm coming to get you because 00:06:33.822 --> 00:06:37.122 I love you and I care about you and I'm worried about you. and I worry that 00:06:37.122 --> 00:06:41.542 you may not be in a position to make the right, a good decision right now. 00:06:42.182 --> 00:06:46.882 And I realized that I was, that was a place that I was willing to stake my claim. 00:06:46.962 --> 00:06:49.382 I was willing to face the discomfort, even if it meant that I flew right out 00:06:49.382 --> 00:06:53.162 there and had to turn right back around and fly home if she really didn't want my help. 00:06:53.262 --> 00:06:55.602 And I couldn't complain about, do you know how much this cost me? 00:06:55.682 --> 00:06:57.782 Or no, I'm owning that. That was a me thing. 00:06:58.402 --> 00:07:02.082 So a few hours later, I was at the airport on a flight to Utah. 00:07:02.682 --> 00:07:07.542 Mackie picked me up and we drove across Nevada back to California through the early morning hours. 00:07:08.062 --> 00:07:11.262 She ended up just dropping me right off at my therapy office the next morning. 00:07:11.502 --> 00:07:15.962 And I did a nice full day of sessions and she was at home and that began her healing journey. 00:07:16.262 --> 00:07:19.442 And during that drive, we had so many important conversations and Mackie, 00:07:19.542 --> 00:07:24.602 it didn't fix everything right away, but I think it was the right thing to do. 00:07:24.882 --> 00:07:29.422 And I'll admit that I was worried of what her commitment level would be like 00:07:29.422 --> 00:07:32.642 because she felt so down about these things that she was finding out and what 00:07:32.642 --> 00:07:36.762 her last year or so had been. And that's on me because she has proven me wrong 00:07:36.762 --> 00:07:38.182 in the very best possible way. 00:07:38.992 --> 00:07:42.532 Spoiler alert, but she lost the 60 pounds. She transformed her life. 00:07:42.632 --> 00:07:47.732 She's currently exploring a healthy relationship and she's back to her bubbly 00:07:47.732 --> 00:07:50.112 self. Her humor is back in full force. She's exercising. 00:07:50.332 --> 00:07:53.632 She's eating right. She's doing a lot of things that I have not even been able 00:07:53.632 --> 00:07:57.492 to do myself in thinking that I've got certain things. 00:07:57.772 --> 00:08:01.492 I'm in a good place in certain things. I mean, the eating alone has been fascinating 00:08:01.492 --> 00:08:05.232 watching her and her discipline. And we talk about that in the interview. 00:08:05.772 --> 00:08:08.252 So if you are in the midst of feeling like life is just too much, 00:08:08.252 --> 00:08:09.812 please, please listen to this interview. 00:08:10.172 --> 00:08:13.352 Mackie talks about so many things that she did to make changes and how difficult 00:08:13.352 --> 00:08:16.872 those things were and how some things maybe weren't as difficult as she thought they would be. 00:08:17.512 --> 00:08:21.112 And if you're a parent, a partner, a loved one of somebody going through difficult 00:08:21.112 --> 00:08:23.072 times and you don't know what to 00:08:23.072 --> 00:08:26.132 do, I think this would be helpful as well because we touched on that too. 00:08:26.872 --> 00:08:29.312 Just a quick heads up, there are a couple of moments where I think Mackie's 00:08:29.312 --> 00:08:32.712 mic is a little bit low, but hopefully that's mostly been addressed in post-production. 00:08:32.832 --> 00:08:33.952 But overall, the audio is good. 00:08:34.312 --> 00:08:37.712 And please check out the video on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel and hit 00:08:37.712 --> 00:08:40.592 subscribe, of course, and give it a watch because there's a part of the interview, 00:08:41.092 --> 00:08:43.612 that just cracked me up. I think it really needs to be seen. 00:08:43.992 --> 00:08:46.992 And don't forget to follow our podcast, The Mind, The Mirror, and Me. 00:08:47.392 --> 00:08:49.792 And then check out some of the earlier episodes on there too, 00:08:49.892 --> 00:08:51.192 because there are some pretty incredible ones. 00:08:51.592 --> 00:08:54.232 So thanks for your patience. Thanks for taking the time to listen. 00:08:54.372 --> 00:08:56.572 I really appreciate each and every one of you. I really do. 00:08:56.952 --> 00:09:00.972 And with all that said, let's get to my interview with my daughter, McKinley Overbay. 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:17.680 Music. 00:09:18.785 --> 00:09:25.025 I don't either. Is that your opening joke? No. I'm going to edit that out. I don't. 00:09:25.645 --> 00:09:29.185 What are we doing here? Welcome back. It's been a long time. 00:09:29.405 --> 00:09:32.425 I don't even want to. I haven't even looked because I think it's been longer 00:09:32.425 --> 00:09:35.345 than I think it has. And I don't want to feel that. 00:09:37.085 --> 00:09:40.165 That sense of failure. Oh, it is not failure, Mackie. 00:09:41.325 --> 00:09:48.285 Welcome back to episode of The Virtual Couch and episode of The Mind, The Mirror, and Me. 00:09:48.785 --> 00:09:52.285 Exactly. I'm your host. No, if we're on The Virtual Couch, yeah, 00:09:52.365 --> 00:09:53.425 it depends. Dueling hosts. 00:09:53.965 --> 00:09:57.705 But it's been a while. We're broadcasting from a new location. 00:09:58.905 --> 00:10:03.165 We got both our mics working. yeah that's kind of exciting both of our mics 00:10:03.165 --> 00:10:07.525 are working and we are in arizona, 00:10:08.245 --> 00:10:14.065 and you may hear dogs and or a baby right outside the office door try to figure out which one is. 00:10:17.285 --> 00:10:21.785 Um i do that i was gonna say this is your this is gonna be your show you prepared 00:10:21.785 --> 00:10:27.945 some things you posted an amazing post yesterday on the social medias and i 00:10:27.945 --> 00:10:30.425 felt bad because you said Oh, did you see the post? 00:10:30.505 --> 00:10:34.165 And I have, he said, no, I've kind of been absolutely not. 00:10:34.265 --> 00:10:38.245 I am. I don't go to the social media very often, but yet that's really good. I don't know. 00:10:38.365 --> 00:10:41.325 It was better. Well, I'm not saying it like getting a hero, a hero, 00:10:41.465 --> 00:10:44.285 getting a trophy, a hero sandwich or a gold star or trophy. 00:10:44.685 --> 00:10:48.205 You want a hero sandwiches? Don't you really? I can go on a kid. 00:10:48.365 --> 00:10:50.525 Yeah, I know. I know it's a sandwich. I don't know what it is. 00:10:50.925 --> 00:10:53.285 Do you want to look at that? Do we look at the camera? Do we look at each other? 00:10:55.656 --> 00:10:57.336 I don't know. I don't either. It 00:10:57.336 --> 00:11:00.736 has been a little while. But we moved to Arizona, what, three months ago? 00:11:01.376 --> 00:11:03.236 Something like that. And I have been 00:11:03.236 --> 00:11:06.696 negligent in my own consistency of podcasting. I've talked about that. 00:11:06.736 --> 00:11:09.716 I put out an episode or two of all the different ones, Virtual Couch, 00:11:09.836 --> 00:11:13.656 Wake Up Narcissism, Love ADHD, and we haven't put one of these out, 00:11:13.716 --> 00:11:17.156 but I've been so inconsistent and I always like to pride myself on consistency. 00:11:17.736 --> 00:11:21.316 But you're always yelling at me about it. Screaming at the top of my lungs. 00:11:21.396 --> 00:11:25.216 So I've been poking you for quite a while saying, hey, do you want to do a podcast? 00:11:25.836 --> 00:11:28.696 You're like get out of here old man whoa no right 00:11:28.696 --> 00:11:31.356 and then finally you're ready to oh but 00:11:31.356 --> 00:11:34.176 we started with the yeah i'm not trying to say i'm so cool i 00:11:34.176 --> 00:11:37.076 don't go on social media i get this i get a weird vibe here 00:11:37.076 --> 00:11:40.076 i do here i am talking about dealing with discomfort and stuff 00:11:40.076 --> 00:11:42.876 but then i don't know i get i i think i 00:11:42.876 --> 00:11:46.336 get a little uncomfortable with thinking i should be doing more or better 00:11:46.336 --> 00:11:49.056 but then i missed a really cool post of yours talk about 00:11:49.056 --> 00:11:51.656 that that's a good way to lead it in what was it 00:11:51.656 --> 00:11:57.856 hurt my feelings i i kept checking to see i'm sorry you feel that way about 00:11:57.856 --> 00:12:04.796 doing the no it was a post about my disease you know what didn't we record one 00:12:04.796 --> 00:12:07.716 we recorded one i don't think we ever put it no it's one of the lost episodes 00:12:07.716 --> 00:12:10.856 when you found out about your disease yeah i'm diseased. 00:12:11.676 --> 00:12:18.176 But i'm okay maybe tell us about this disease tell us maybe tell them yeah back 00:12:18.176 --> 00:12:19.656 it up okay You're just diving in. 00:12:19.656 --> 00:12:22.136 I've done my work. Now it's up to you. You carry it. 00:12:22.796 --> 00:12:26.456 If people have listened to our previous episodes, we put one out. 00:12:26.916 --> 00:12:28.296 I could not tell you how long ago. 00:12:28.656 --> 00:12:31.456 That was called Your Body is the Least Interesting Thing About You. Yeah. 00:12:31.936 --> 00:12:35.276 The overall concept was what? Your body is the least interesting thing about 00:12:35.276 --> 00:12:36.236 you. Okay. Is that what we're doing? 00:12:37.416 --> 00:12:40.196 No, but we talked about, I went there and listened to it because I honestly 00:12:40.196 --> 00:12:41.796 couldn't remember what we talked about. 00:12:41.896 --> 00:12:44.716 And I was scared that then I would say things today that wouldn't, 00:12:44.716 --> 00:12:46.316 that would just completely contradict. 00:12:46.456 --> 00:12:48.376 Oh, right. And be like, that actually doesn't make sense. 00:12:48.656 --> 00:12:53.416 But we basically just talked about your body being the least interesting thing about you. Okay. 00:12:53.616 --> 00:12:57.596 But we talked about like your worth not being tied to your physical appearance. 00:12:57.816 --> 00:13:01.196 I remember this. Your size, your shape, that you're more than your body. 00:13:01.536 --> 00:13:05.436 And we talked about just like being true to who you are on the inside. 00:13:05.556 --> 00:13:10.216 We talked a lot about how in high school I feel like I wouldn't answer questions 00:13:10.216 --> 00:13:13.696 truthfully because I was too... Yes. I didn't tell people my favorite food because 00:13:13.696 --> 00:13:16.936 I was embarrassed or my favorites. Like we talked about that, 00:13:16.976 --> 00:13:18.836 like just being who you are. 00:13:19.016 --> 00:13:23.056 Yeah. I know that this one did pretty well because I had people telling me, 00:13:23.536 --> 00:13:24.916 is that one the one we talked about? 00:13:26.282 --> 00:13:29.782 Is that the one where we talked about the like going to a movie and worrying 00:13:29.782 --> 00:13:32.702 what the other person. Yes. That one got I talked about a lot. 00:13:32.842 --> 00:13:36.042 Yeah, that was that one. So if you haven't listened to it, listen to it. 00:13:36.062 --> 00:13:38.722 It was I liked it. Me too. Like it was one of our good ones. 00:13:39.382 --> 00:13:43.802 But basically, the gist was just like about loving yourself and that your worth 00:13:43.802 --> 00:13:49.022 is not tied to anything, but especially your body. But you are enough. 00:13:49.682 --> 00:13:52.982 Blah, blah. You kept throwing in you are enough. Oh, enough. 00:13:53.262 --> 00:13:55.342 Enough. Because we were talking Barbie movies. That's so funny. 00:13:55.342 --> 00:13:57.822 I mean, at the time I thought I'll never stop saying Kenuff. 00:13:57.902 --> 00:14:01.002 And when you just said that, I'm like, why did I say that? What does that even mean? 00:14:01.642 --> 00:14:05.422 Kave, I almost want you to like get to the part where why is it so significant 00:14:05.422 --> 00:14:09.962 now that we're talking about it and this post on the social medias and all that? 00:14:10.642 --> 00:14:15.342 Yeah, so I can. So everything genuinely I did go back and listen to and everything 00:14:15.342 --> 00:14:20.942 I said in that episode and that you said in that episode still stands true. I still stand by it. 00:14:21.982 --> 00:14:26.002 100%. Okay. Like everything we said was legit. Yeah. 00:14:27.302 --> 00:14:34.242 But since then, I have lost 55 pounds. I was going to say, let's do a drum roll. Oh, sorry. 55 pounds. 00:14:34.642 --> 00:14:39.182 Five pounds. That's like both our dogs combined and a sack of flour or something. 00:14:39.822 --> 00:14:42.562 I've lost that. Yeah. I found it, everybody. 00:14:44.542 --> 00:14:50.022 Thank you. So my body looks a lot different and I feel a lot different than 00:14:50.022 --> 00:14:52.022 I did when I was talking about that. 00:14:52.022 --> 00:14:56.402 Which for whatever reason then just feels like i feel like i have a lot of new 00:14:56.402 --> 00:15:02.142 thoughts yeah perspectives about everything that has to do with all of this 00:15:02.142 --> 00:15:05.922 so i won't talk about it but also, 00:15:06.562 --> 00:15:12.142 because we kind of like accidentally scrapped that disease yeah nobody knows 00:15:12.142 --> 00:15:18.102 why and so i feel like i want to hit that too and i did when i posted what i posted yesterday okay. 00:15:18.909 --> 00:15:23.189 I asked, or I put a little question box up if anyone has any questions, 00:15:23.289 --> 00:15:28.189 because I've had a lot of conversations with a lot of people about the weight 00:15:28.189 --> 00:15:30.429 loss journey and the health stuff and whatever. 00:15:30.729 --> 00:15:34.189 And you show me, you got a lot of, you got a lot of, you got a lot. I was impressed. 00:15:34.949 --> 00:15:38.249 Because everyone struggles. Yeah. With all the things all the time. 00:15:38.309 --> 00:15:41.169 Yeah. And when you're vulnerable, people. They respond. 00:15:41.489 --> 00:15:44.889 Respond and it's tender and nice. Yeah. But so if I'm hearing you correctly, 00:15:45.009 --> 00:15:47.729 though, and I think I'm excited to hear this because it's your dad and as somebody 00:15:47.729 --> 00:15:49.209 that's been along watching you, 00:15:49.349 --> 00:15:53.429 that's the funny thing where sometimes I don't even want to point out what I'm 00:15:53.429 --> 00:15:57.389 noticing because I don't want you to think that I thought that you didn't look good before. 00:15:57.389 --> 00:16:00.169 Or but some of the things that you've 00:16:00.169 --> 00:16:02.809 done that have so impressed me are honestly we we go out to 00:16:02.809 --> 00:16:05.909 eat a fair amount as a family maybe too much and then 00:16:05.909 --> 00:16:09.029 we moved to to a new new land and we're 00:16:09.029 --> 00:16:12.169 trying out the new restaurants all that stuff and you have not you 00:16:12.169 --> 00:16:16.789 don't cheat i know it's wild to me and what i just want to know did you ever 00:16:16.789 --> 00:16:21.369 did you know you would be successful at doing this weight loss journey okay 00:16:21.369 --> 00:16:26.549 because i've been trying to well yeah i feel like yeah totally so i don't even 00:16:26.549 --> 00:16:30.649 know okay so basically i have an autoimmune disease called hashimoto's. 00:16:31.431 --> 00:16:36.071 And that led to hypothyroidism. And so that's what I got diagnosed with a couple of months ago. 00:16:36.491 --> 00:16:43.411 And prior to getting diagnosed, I basically, I seriously feel like it was two 00:16:43.411 --> 00:16:48.851 or three years where I was just very steadily gaining weight and it didn't matter. 00:16:49.011 --> 00:16:51.851 Like you're still trying to work out. Yeah. Like obviously I could have been 00:16:51.851 --> 00:16:54.011 eating better and working out more or different or whatever, 00:16:54.091 --> 00:16:57.511 but I genuinely was working out five times a week probably. 00:16:58.171 --> 00:17:01.731 And I was eating decent. like i wasn't 00:17:01.731 --> 00:17:04.551 eating crazy or anything and i could not lose 00:17:04.551 --> 00:17:07.351 the weight or if i did i'd lose two pounds and then 00:17:07.351 --> 00:17:10.891 plateau give it a week or two and i back up those pounds 00:17:10.891 --> 00:17:15.171 and their friends and i'm like we break mom 00:17:15.171 --> 00:17:17.911 and i's heart because you would get so frustrated frustrating because i 00:17:17.911 --> 00:17:20.671 was like i'm doing the work and i'm just gaining weight and i didn't feel 00:17:20.671 --> 00:17:23.791 like myself and i was so tired all the 00:17:23.791 --> 00:17:26.671 time like i don't know how much we talked i like no i could not get 00:17:26.671 --> 00:17:29.351 through the the day without at least a nap i know you when you come 00:17:29.351 --> 00:17:32.251 home and stuff you would nap a lot not worse i and i it wasn't 00:17:32.251 --> 00:17:34.911 a genuine like all day sometimes and i was just 00:17:34.911 --> 00:17:37.631 no matter what if i slept for two hours or 12 i didn't put that part 00:17:37.631 --> 00:17:40.631 together i was so tired and it was so frustrating because 00:17:40.631 --> 00:17:43.631 i didn't know what to do about it and i didn't i felt like i had no options 00:17:43.631 --> 00:17:48.111 because i don't drink caffeine because anxiety like crazy and so i just felt 00:17:48.111 --> 00:17:51.251 so i don't know what to do and i was like why is this happening to me why does 00:17:51.251 --> 00:17:56.511 everybody else function and i cannot do that And then I also tied a lot of those 00:17:56.511 --> 00:17:58.051 things. I was like, it must just be like my depression. 00:17:58.451 --> 00:18:01.171 That's why I can't get out of bed. That's why I'm so tired. And so I kind of 00:18:01.171 --> 00:18:02.811 just overlooked the fatigue part of it. 00:18:02.851 --> 00:18:06.851 Man. And then I had a lot of other like random little symptoms, but nothing that was. 00:18:07.151 --> 00:18:11.191 Some throat stuff. And I mean. So many things. Yeah. Nothing that was like, 00:18:11.271 --> 00:18:12.631 I need to go to the doctor right now. 00:18:13.011 --> 00:18:17.811 But a lot of things where I just didn't feel good. I never felt good ever for years. 00:18:18.151 --> 00:18:20.131 Yeah. But I just got to a point where I was like, I guess this is. 00:18:20.151 --> 00:18:21.831 This is what I feel. Yeah. This is it. 00:18:22.211 --> 00:18:24.391 And so anyways, then went to. 00:18:25.337 --> 00:18:28.117 Freaking gynecology appointment i would say i don't remember 00:18:28.117 --> 00:18:30.797 what okay yeah for the first time in my life because 00:18:30.797 --> 00:18:33.397 you have to when you are a lady i still don't really know what 00:18:33.397 --> 00:18:36.497 those are but don't talk about it no no hey go ahead 00:18:36.497 --> 00:18:39.657 but anyways and my and i just like figured 00:18:39.657 --> 00:18:42.277 i'd throw it out there and i just told my doctor like i've had a really hard time with 00:18:42.277 --> 00:18:44.957 weight gain and i'm tired all the 00:18:44.957 --> 00:18:47.657 time and blah blah and she immediately was like oh 00:18:47.657 --> 00:18:50.857 let's check your thyroid and i was like well i'm not gonna do anything like 00:18:50.857 --> 00:18:54.037 because at that point i was so convinced i was just doing everything wrong like 00:18:54.037 --> 00:18:56.957 i wasn't working hard enough and whatever so anyway she 00:18:56.957 --> 00:19:00.157 checked my thyroid and immediately was like your numbers are crazy this is 00:19:00.157 --> 00:19:03.737 not normal get on these medications do these things and 00:19:03.737 --> 00:19:08.557 long story short then after lots of so many doctors like i've never i went to 00:19:08.557 --> 00:19:10.897 more doctor's appointments in the span of a month than i did my entire life 00:19:10.897 --> 00:19:14.997 genuinely i have a funny bit here though to work in so i remember when you called 00:19:14.997 --> 00:19:18.597 about that and we were we were like oh my gosh it sounds so bad and serious 00:19:18.597 --> 00:19:22.597 and stuff and your mom and i had just gone down not too 00:19:22.677 --> 00:19:25.497 long ago and alex was getting her 00:19:25.497 --> 00:19:28.597 graduating from like radiology school and so 00:19:28.597 --> 00:19:31.557 the thing that she could check was our thyroids yeah 00:19:31.557 --> 00:19:34.457 and i don't remember this funny part but she told me my 00:19:34.457 --> 00:19:39.077 thyroid should be like a thyroid model and it's like and you're telling me yours 00:19:39.077 --> 00:19:44.297 is like here's right and and one of alex's friends was there and they showed 00:19:44.297 --> 00:19:48.157 us hers when we saw that and it's like she saw mine i didn't know what thyroid 00:19:48.157 --> 00:19:51.377 was and it's like oh well apparently that's a good one and then she's like yeah 00:19:51.377 --> 00:19:54.097 look at the look at my friends and then it was like just a. 00:19:55.117 --> 00:19:58.937 Shredded pieces of whatever that is what i have that disease that was crazy 00:19:58.937 --> 00:20:03.257 realistically by the time i'm 30 i like that really have a thyroid i'm ready 00:20:03.257 --> 00:20:10.157 to donate mine no but that's so kind of you but anyways so we'll we'll touch 00:20:10.157 --> 00:20:14.517 on that but also focusing more on the losing the weight and 00:20:14.657 --> 00:20:18.937 prioritizing health and just like how that's gone. 00:20:19.117 --> 00:20:22.717 But because the thing is, like we said in the other episode we did, 00:20:22.777 --> 00:20:26.717 you are exactly enough as you are at any size. For sure. 00:20:26.997 --> 00:20:31.877 Like genuinely, that is so true. And I believe that wholeheartedly. Yeah. 00:20:32.177 --> 00:20:34.577 And losing weight will not solve all your problems. 00:20:35.057 --> 00:20:39.097 You know, it feels like it will for people that struggle. But it won't solve all your problems. 00:20:39.697 --> 00:20:42.437 And it's important, I think, to love yourself at every stage of life. 00:20:43.522 --> 00:20:46.482 Being human and what that means for your body and everything you 00:20:46.482 --> 00:20:49.302 were trying i mean i think you were doing a good job of where you were at 00:20:49.302 --> 00:20:53.122 though trying to that's that was the whole reason we did the episode yeah just 00:20:53.122 --> 00:20:56.902 trying to love myself the way that i was you know i didn't feel great yeah um 00:20:56.902 --> 00:21:02.342 because i did i i was enough yeah 55 pounds ago and i'm still enough right now 00:21:02.342 --> 00:21:06.002 and i will be enough if i gained it all back you know and that i still believe 00:21:06.002 --> 00:21:07.162 that and that's true yeah Yeah. 00:21:07.482 --> 00:21:14.022 But in this whole thing for me, I feel like I've learned that wanting to be 00:21:14.022 --> 00:21:18.582 healthy and take care of your body is totally a good thing. Okay. 00:21:18.762 --> 00:21:24.502 Like it's such a good thing and you're allowed to make changes for your body 00:21:24.502 --> 00:21:27.322 and you're allowed to want to be healthier. 00:21:27.502 --> 00:21:32.982 And I feel like, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong or maybe it's more being a girl 00:21:32.982 --> 00:21:36.802 thing or maybe you'll feel it too, but it's like I do feel like there's weird things 00:21:37.082 --> 00:21:42.242 i guess stigma is almost just around anything you talk about body wise oh for 00:21:42.242 --> 00:21:45.322 sure like it's almost shifted i feel like i feel like on tiktok and stuff i 00:21:45.322 --> 00:21:46.722 see like if girls are promoting. 00:21:47.782 --> 00:21:50.982 Losing weight or working out or eating healthy people attack 00:21:50.982 --> 00:21:54.002 them a little bit and it's like you shouldn't be telling people they have to 00:21:54.002 --> 00:21:56.662 do this or you shouldn't whatever and it's like i get what you're saying if 00:21:56.662 --> 00:22:00.162 you're going way to the extremes but you're allowed to want to be healthy and 00:22:00.162 --> 00:22:03.782 so people want to they can find people that can help yes yeah like those people 00:22:03.782 --> 00:22:10.642 aren't evil do it no yeah it's okay to like do the things yeah to take care of your body and it's not, 00:22:11.222 --> 00:22:14.202 all bad so i feel like 00:22:14.202 --> 00:22:17.142 that's just an interesting thing and so it has been weird and like vulnerable 00:22:17.142 --> 00:22:21.282 to post about weight loss because i i fear that people will think i'm saying 00:22:21.282 --> 00:22:24.982 like yeah like you almost post things and then people think you're you're looking 00:22:24.982 --> 00:22:28.862 down on other people right yeah no i'm not you're perfect the way you are yeah 00:22:28.862 --> 00:22:31.342 this is just my experience yeah this is I like that. 00:22:31.542 --> 00:22:36.002 Because the thing is, I feel better. 00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:42.669 Like looks aside yeah i feel better and can you like quantify that or or because i think sometimes, 00:22:43.289 --> 00:22:46.709 ended that was that process so gradual that it's it was difficult to tell along 00:22:46.709 --> 00:22:51.629 the way or pretty quickly did you start feeling better or how can you like how 00:22:51.629 --> 00:22:55.729 do you i know that you know it but how do you yeah i know i feel like it seriously 00:22:55.729 --> 00:22:57.969 was a couple weeks and it was like, 00:22:58.589 --> 00:23:01.229 i just started to feel i think 00:23:01.229 --> 00:23:04.329 one of the questions someone asked was about like my relationship with 00:23:04.329 --> 00:23:07.329 food okay and how that's changed yeah and 00:23:07.329 --> 00:23:10.489 we've talked about that yeah i did not 00:23:10.489 --> 00:23:13.289 know how gross i felt because i'm so used to 00:23:13.289 --> 00:23:15.869 it talk about that because i i when you told me that i 00:23:15.869 --> 00:23:18.569 used that with some clients and there wasn't a person i don't think 00:23:18.569 --> 00:23:21.429 that didn't reason or that didn't resonate with yeah 00:23:21.429 --> 00:23:25.309 it was so interesting because i did i made a lot i changed my entire diet like 00:23:25.309 --> 00:23:29.729 you really did completely changed it which we can get into more of that but 00:23:29.729 --> 00:23:35.349 i I completely changed what I was eating and like what I'm putting into my body 00:23:35.349 --> 00:23:40.249 and how much water I'm drinking and all the little things that have to do with diet. 00:23:41.669 --> 00:23:45.549 And I don't feel gross anymore. If I do, I was telling you the other day, 00:23:45.629 --> 00:23:48.449 I was like, I'm just going to get Taco Bell because like. Right. You did it one time. 00:23:49.049 --> 00:23:52.709 Within 10 minutes, I was so miserable. Like I was so uncomfortable. 00:23:52.929 --> 00:23:56.329 I was just like, this feels awful. And that's what I felt like all the time 00:23:56.329 --> 00:23:58.829 because I was just not eating good things for my body. 00:23:58.829 --> 00:24:01.509 Yeah and so i do i don't even 00:24:01.509 --> 00:24:04.349 remember what you asked but i feel like well is there like how's it 00:24:04.349 --> 00:24:07.209 quantifiable so you that's so easy when you just don't feel 00:24:07.209 --> 00:24:10.409 gross little things that i see yeah like i feel different little dumb things 00:24:10.409 --> 00:24:15.449 tying my shoes so much easier okay yeah shaving my legs so much easier yeah 00:24:15.449 --> 00:24:21.029 wiping my butt okay easier i appreciate that yeah yeah like my body i still 00:24:21.029 --> 00:24:25.049 want to get a bidet though live your dream okay you love bidets i do. 00:24:28.299 --> 00:24:31.159 Hey, but all those little things, I appreciate that so much. So many little things. 00:24:31.299 --> 00:24:35.259 And then the, what was wild to me was, and I think I saw one of the questions 00:24:35.259 --> 00:24:39.079 where somebody asked about, did you go cold turkey with the food? And talk about that. 00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:43.079 I kind of did. You did. And I was so blown away. More so to fear though. 00:24:43.419 --> 00:24:47.119 Oh, I see. I was so afraid of what was happening to my body. 00:24:47.179 --> 00:24:50.419 I was like, I need to change something right now or I'm going to die. 00:24:50.439 --> 00:24:52.079 Which wasn't true, but that's kind of what it felt like. Yeah. 00:24:52.399 --> 00:24:54.079 What's wild though, is I've worked with enough people though, 00:24:54.099 --> 00:24:56.819 where they say that, oh yeah, if that would happen, then I would change and 00:24:56.819 --> 00:25:00.059 they don't. Yeah. So that's why I think in the back of my mind, I was still. 00:25:00.099 --> 00:25:02.519 It did it for me. Yeah. Because I've been trying to lose weight for three years 00:25:02.519 --> 00:25:04.639 or whatever. And then that was enough. 00:25:05.339 --> 00:25:09.179 But yeah, like just overall, I think prioritizing my health and taking care 00:25:09.179 --> 00:25:14.219 of myself has been such a good reminder that we only get one body. 00:25:14.299 --> 00:25:18.979 Yeah. Like we have one body. This is the thing that carries us through this life. Yeah. 00:25:20.539 --> 00:25:23.259 And you, I mean, obviously there are things that are out of our control, 00:25:23.379 --> 00:25:29.619 but you have have a decent say in a lot of aspects of how you're going to feel 00:25:29.619 --> 00:25:33.319 day to day and how what your body's going to look like and how it's going to 00:25:33.319 --> 00:25:34.359 feel and how it's going to function, 00:25:34.939 --> 00:25:39.279 and so it's like why would you not take care of it yeah why would you not put 00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:43.799 in the effort to because you're worth that effort you know i think so i mean 00:25:43.799 --> 00:25:47.779 i do i was talking with a client just a couple of weeks ago that just they just 00:25:47.779 --> 00:25:49.299 turned 40 and they were talking about 00:25:49.699 --> 00:25:52.439 how well now it's all downhill and i just want to say 00:25:52.439 --> 00:25:55.219 hey i'm right here in front of you and i'm like 14 years older 00:25:55.219 --> 00:25:58.579 than you and I refuse to stop crying 00:25:58.579 --> 00:26:01.959 it doesn't have to it doesn't again I know things are out of our control but 00:26:01.959 --> 00:26:05.899 it doesn't have to just be this awful thing and I do think to some extent I 00:26:05.899 --> 00:26:09.479 had kind of given up in that way where I'm like this is just what it is I'm 00:26:09.479 --> 00:26:12.039 never gonna like my body again I'm never gonna feel calm like I was just like 00:26:12.039 --> 00:26:15.499 I've tried yeah that's it so I, 00:26:16.336 --> 00:26:19.716 I don't know how to. But that cold turkey vibe, though, is it was I mean, 00:26:19.736 --> 00:26:21.316 it was noticeable, too, right away. 00:26:21.416 --> 00:26:26.036 And you you when you moved out here, you came home for a little bit in California 00:26:26.036 --> 00:26:30.676 and then just started to really try to get yourself put together, I guess, in a sense. 00:26:30.816 --> 00:26:34.136 And I'd been on medication a little bit there to stabilize thyroid stuff. 00:26:34.256 --> 00:26:36.016 Yeah. Which I think did something. 00:26:36.156 --> 00:26:38.756 And then moved out here to Arizona. And you just I feel like you've done an 00:26:38.756 --> 00:26:42.516 amazing job of just making it your almost a part time job or of. 00:26:43.356 --> 00:26:48.736 It is. Right. right? Getting sleep and eating right and hydrating and exercise, 00:26:48.876 --> 00:26:52.236 a lot of exercise and all that. So I'm sure we'll talk about that too. Yeah. 00:26:52.636 --> 00:26:56.736 But anyways, all of that, basically, it's okay to want to take care of your body. 00:26:56.816 --> 00:27:01.376 And I think it's okay to admit that, that you want to feel good and look good. I think that's fair. 00:27:01.696 --> 00:27:06.656 And I think what you're saying too, that I'm a big no shame therapist guy person. 00:27:07.016 --> 00:27:10.096 So I just want to, yeah, giving 00:27:10.096 --> 00:27:13.256 people permission that it's okay to to really want it and then 00:27:13.256 --> 00:27:16.236 also you're really the only person that knows deep inside 00:27:16.236 --> 00:27:19.376 this is not meaning to sound shameful of if 00:27:19.376 --> 00:27:22.296 you are showing up as your best self and 00:27:22.296 --> 00:27:25.396 i think that's where i work with plenty of people that it's 00:27:25.396 --> 00:27:28.256 pretty liberating when they can finally admit to themselves at time if 00:27:28.256 --> 00:27:30.936 this is the case where they're saying i know i'm not giving it 00:27:30.936 --> 00:27:34.036 my best effort yeah yeah side note yeah 00:27:34.036 --> 00:27:36.896 one of the peloton instructors that i really like yeah always says 00:27:36.896 --> 00:27:40.036 a thing where she goes she says i'm not going to tell you to like 00:27:40.036 --> 00:27:42.676 be your best self right now i'm going to tell you to be your 00:27:42.676 --> 00:27:45.456 favorite self and there's some stuff that i 00:27:45.456 --> 00:27:48.636 love yeah she'll tell she's like if you she's like 00:27:48.636 --> 00:27:51.576 if i ask you what your best self look looks like you probably don't 00:27:51.576 --> 00:27:54.216 really know exactly what that is but if i ask you what 00:27:54.216 --> 00:27:57.476 your favorite ice cream flavor is or your favorite like all these little things 00:27:57.476 --> 00:28:01.356 you have an answer and so you can prioritize just wanting to be your favorite 00:28:01.356 --> 00:28:04.776 version of you because you know what that feels like you know i don't want to 00:28:04.776 --> 00:28:08.096 hijack this episode all but i have to tell you i'm two-thirds of the way through 00:28:08.096 --> 00:28:11.896 i'm I'm doing an episode on the virtual couch about your reflected sense of self. 00:28:12.016 --> 00:28:15.916 And I traced it back to this psychologist back in the early 1900s. 00:28:15.916 --> 00:28:17.816 And he talks about this looking glass self. 00:28:18.036 --> 00:28:21.056 And I'll just go through this because I think it's so interesting what you just 00:28:21.056 --> 00:28:22.296 said. It's this guy named Cooley. 00:28:22.556 --> 00:28:26.096 And so he said, the looking glass self is the process through which people develop 00:28:26.096 --> 00:28:29.756 their self-concept based on their understanding of how others perceive them. 00:28:29.816 --> 00:28:31.096 And the process is three components. 00:28:31.316 --> 00:28:37.156 One is imagining how we appear to others. So we contemplate how we think we are seen by others. 00:28:37.396 --> 00:28:40.536 Two is in imagining the judgment of that appearance. 00:28:40.736 --> 00:28:44.236 So we imagine how others are judging us based on our appearance or behavior 00:28:44.236 --> 00:28:46.876 of what we think that people think we're doing. 00:28:47.076 --> 00:28:51.356 And then the third one is then we develop feelings around ourselves based on these judgments. 00:28:51.476 --> 00:28:56.056 So we assume that we know what other people see in us. 00:28:56.236 --> 00:29:00.956 Then we imagine how they're judging us based off of what we think that they see. 00:29:01.096 --> 00:29:04.796 And then our feelings follow based on the judgments, based on what We think 00:29:04.796 --> 00:29:08.696 that, so I just said, there's so many variables there that are so getting in 00:29:08.696 --> 00:29:09.916 the way of who you really are. 00:29:11.952 --> 00:29:14.732 Just so it's wild yeah it shouldn't have 00:29:14.732 --> 00:29:17.372 to be like that so then it just says he says yeah it's it 00:29:17.372 --> 00:29:20.332 suggests our self-esteem and self-worth are influenced by how we believe others 00:29:20.332 --> 00:29:23.472 view us and and i was just saying that's normal but i 00:29:23.472 --> 00:29:26.152 think having a healthy understanding of that's the process that we go 00:29:26.152 --> 00:29:30.672 through helps you then untangle yourself from that process yeah like 00:29:30.672 --> 00:29:33.612 yeah i'm trying to think of some a 00:29:33.612 --> 00:29:37.592 segue for this but i don't have one but read 00:29:37.592 --> 00:29:40.732 a little thing i but just said you 00:29:40.732 --> 00:29:44.252 are more than just a body you are a soul nourish both and 00:29:44.252 --> 00:29:46.892 that to me was like i feel like that 00:29:46.892 --> 00:29:51.852 embodies everything that i'm trying to yeah say here like the point i'm trying 00:29:51.852 --> 00:29:55.972 to make because i think that that's it and i think there is it is like a balance 00:29:55.972 --> 00:30:00.592 that you are more than just your body but your body is what carries your soul 00:30:00.592 --> 00:30:04.552 so they work together pretty well and i I think you need to nourish, 00:30:04.572 --> 00:30:08.852 you need to nourish because your soul is everything. 00:30:08.992 --> 00:30:12.312 Like your soul, that, that is who you are. That is, that is the big thing, 00:30:12.352 --> 00:30:15.312 but your body is what carries the vessel that carries it. 00:30:15.352 --> 00:30:19.052 It really is safe and allows it to be exactly what it is. 00:30:19.172 --> 00:30:24.832 And so I think in nourishing our soul, we have to care for our body and through 00:30:24.832 --> 00:30:27.352 nourishing our body, we are caring for our soul. 00:30:27.532 --> 00:30:33.432 So I do think it is like hand in hand. And I don't think you can just do one and like be fine. 00:30:33.552 --> 00:30:36.592 Let's just have noticed you've been reading more. I don't know if you've been meditating. 00:30:36.952 --> 00:30:40.712 I have. Okay. Good for you. I'm going to reduce my stress levels. 00:30:41.092 --> 00:30:43.632 Okay. But yeah, so I just feel like it's all tied together. And I feel like 00:30:43.632 --> 00:30:48.792 I felt that so strongly through the last couple months because it has been more than just exercising. 00:30:48.972 --> 00:30:51.692 Right. And it's different. It is like way deeper than that. 00:30:52.939 --> 00:30:58.599 But yeah, so that's, those are some of my takes. I dig it. What's been the hardest 00:30:58.599 --> 00:30:59.799 thing food-wise, honestly? 00:31:00.539 --> 00:31:05.459 Well, okay. That's the kind of the funny thing because I went gluten-free and 00:31:05.459 --> 00:31:07.819 then I'm on like a low acid diet. 00:31:07.999 --> 00:31:09.599 And I even drink water that there's just. 00:31:09.959 --> 00:31:12.099 I drink alkaline water. Yeah. Which I still don't understand. 00:31:12.839 --> 00:31:18.399 PH something. Sure. But the thing that I've been shocked by is that the longer 00:31:18.399 --> 00:31:20.739 it's been since I've had certain foods, the less I want them. 00:31:20.739 --> 00:31:23.359 Like i really thought there'd be a time that i would never be able to go 00:31:23.359 --> 00:31:26.539 without taco bell yeah and i don't want it i don't 00:31:26.539 --> 00:31:29.219 like i don't want it no offense to mr bell he did you 00:31:29.219 --> 00:31:32.059 right right for a long time for so long but i just don't want 00:31:32.059 --> 00:31:36.859 it and i don't crave foods like that anymore it's weird because i feel like 00:31:36.859 --> 00:31:39.419 people are lying when they say i was gonna say can i just float this out there 00:31:39.419 --> 00:31:44.159 i don't yeah you haven't in a long time i occasionally i'm like i could go for 00:31:44.159 --> 00:31:48.479 some and then if i drink it it burns and like this isn't fun anymore it's not 00:31:48.479 --> 00:31:50.099 that good burn that Did I like? No. 00:31:51.079 --> 00:31:55.559 So that's been interesting. Well, then also I, so I come from this place of 00:31:55.559 --> 00:31:56.799 what do we do with our discomfort? 00:31:56.859 --> 00:32:02.659 And so it's uncomfortable to, I think even the time you spend meal prepping. 00:32:03.039 --> 00:32:07.099 Yeah. Is I think one of the reasons why people just go to fast food or. It's a lot. 00:32:07.179 --> 00:32:11.219 And you have been so patient with that. And I don't understand where that comes from. 00:32:11.519 --> 00:32:16.439 It's fear. Okay. Okay. It's not like, like how do you motivate it? Yes. 00:32:16.939 --> 00:32:20.179 Weird. because i'm sitting there like getting whatever and 00:32:20.179 --> 00:32:23.179 then you're cutting up your potatoes and a 00:32:23.179 --> 00:32:26.039 couple times you've made me i really like when you make me like the chicken and 00:32:26.039 --> 00:32:28.939 avocado or potato thing and you're like oh yeah 00:32:28.939 --> 00:32:35.759 it'll be ready about 45 minutes i'm like okay i'm good yeah oh my gosh okay 00:32:35.759 --> 00:32:40.199 i think well i think i just have the question let's do it yeah speed around 00:32:40.199 --> 00:32:44.059 that yeah yeah okay lots of people wondering what the autoimmune disease is 00:32:44.059 --> 00:32:47.219 yeah ashimoto's thyroid And I don't know enough about it. 00:32:48.474 --> 00:32:53.594 It's basically my body with any autoimmune disease, your body is attacking itself essentially. 00:32:53.794 --> 00:32:58.874 So for whatever reason, my body has decided that my thyroid is an intruder and 00:32:58.874 --> 00:33:01.954 is sending antibodies to attack it. To attack it. 00:33:02.014 --> 00:33:05.794 So like your white blood cell count was up for no reason or something like that. 00:33:05.934 --> 00:33:11.074 Just weird things because it's just like attacking my thyroid, 00:33:11.174 --> 00:33:12.494 even though my thyroid is just chilling. 00:33:12.634 --> 00:33:16.274 Yeah, I say not cool body. And so then because of that, my thyroid has become 00:33:16.274 --> 00:33:19.434 underactive. So it doesn't produce enough of what it's supposed to. 00:33:19.534 --> 00:33:23.154 And I don't know if you knew this, but the thyroid kind of runs like the whole show. 00:33:23.314 --> 00:33:29.234 So I only learned that in my therapy world where a hyper and hypo is underperforming. 00:33:29.234 --> 00:33:33.554 Like you just said, hyper is over and hyper can almost mimic symptoms of anxiety 00:33:33.554 --> 00:33:37.134 and ADHD and hypo can be depressive, depressive, right? 00:33:37.234 --> 00:33:42.494 Yes. Okay. And so it's just, it literally, your thyroid is connected to seriously 00:33:42.494 --> 00:33:44.494 basically every system in the body. 00:33:44.894 --> 00:33:50.194 Like your heart and your lungs and your nervous system. 00:33:50.214 --> 00:33:54.734 Like both, like seriously all of it. It's deeply connected. 00:33:55.194 --> 00:33:58.294 And so if your thyroid is not functioning the way that it's supposed to, 00:33:58.354 --> 00:34:00.794 it affects so many things. 00:34:00.834 --> 00:34:05.294 Like so many random things. like how you tolerate temperatures and like just 00:34:05.294 --> 00:34:08.274 so like bizarre things that you would not think. 00:34:09.099 --> 00:34:11.799 It affects yeah because it's just this little thing and 00:34:11.799 --> 00:34:14.819 like sitting in your throat so it doesn't seem like it no that 00:34:14.819 --> 00:34:17.759 would right i just about it if you're not if it's 00:34:17.759 --> 00:34:20.819 not broken i just said can you explain hashimoto's disorder 00:34:20.819 --> 00:34:23.719 to someone with a middle school level of education to go to my best 00:34:23.719 --> 00:34:27.179 friend chat gpt so this will be interesting it says sure hashimoto's 00:34:27.179 --> 00:34:30.379 disorder also known as hashimoto's thyroiditis is a 00:34:30.379 --> 00:34:33.219 condition where the body's immune system mistakenly attacks the thyroid 00:34:33.219 --> 00:34:36.479 gland the thyroid is a small butterfly-shaped gland in 00:34:36.479 --> 00:34:39.199 your neck it's not small no anymore and it 00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:42.059 makes hormones that help control many important functions in 00:34:42.059 --> 00:34:45.479 your body like your metabolism how your body uses energy growth 00:34:45.479 --> 00:34:48.619 and development when somebody has hashimoto's their immune system thinks the 00:34:48.619 --> 00:34:52.719 thyroid is a threat and attacks it this can damage the thyroid and make it produce 00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:56.399 fewer hormones when the thyroid doesn't make enough hormones it can cause symptoms 00:34:56.399 --> 00:35:00.899 like feeling very tired gaining weight having dry skin feeling cold even when 00:35:00.899 --> 00:35:06.219 others are warm and feeling sad or depressed wow i nailed it you did i was really 00:35:06.219 --> 00:35:07.479 scared you're gonna read it i I know, right? 00:35:07.839 --> 00:35:12.139 No, it's so, yeah. It's so wild, Mac. And then there's just a million little 00:35:12.139 --> 00:35:16.799 symptoms that you would never even know are tied to it. And it's just crazy. 00:35:18.699 --> 00:35:23.359 So that's what I deal with. And your numbers can fluctuate a lot, which sucks. 00:35:23.899 --> 00:35:27.599 Like even on a medication. I know. Do you know what impacts that? 00:35:28.159 --> 00:35:31.879 No, honestly. I don't know the nitty gritty things. 00:35:32.819 --> 00:35:34.379 But yeah, so that's what I have. 00:35:35.379 --> 00:35:38.439 Hey, Mac, do you want to see what's fun? I said, can you give me a limerick 00:35:38.439 --> 00:35:39.979 about a girl named Mackie who has this? 00:35:40.399 --> 00:35:43.739 There once was a girl named Mackie whose thyroid was feeling quite wacky. 00:35:43.859 --> 00:35:47.479 Her hormones ran low, but with meds in tow, she's now full of energy, 00:35:47.619 --> 00:35:50.139 not slacky. I mean, amen. 00:35:51.279 --> 00:35:56.339 Oh my gosh. Okay, next one. How did you know something was wrong and needed 00:35:56.339 --> 00:35:57.759 to get yourself checked out on? 00:35:58.059 --> 00:36:00.659 Which this one I have a few thoughts on because... 00:36:01.888 --> 00:36:04.608 At now that I have, I'm like, I should have just gone to the doctor sooner when 00:36:04.608 --> 00:36:07.028 I. Mom and I told you like all the time. 00:36:07.688 --> 00:36:13.448 Oh, did we do? Oh, okay. No, you never did. I bet we did it once or twice. You never did. 00:36:13.708 --> 00:36:19.268 But I think that I just like, side note, I think if you feel like you are not 00:36:19.268 --> 00:36:25.548 yourself and that something is off and something is wrong, you are worth like. Go get it picked out. 00:36:26.588 --> 00:36:30.248 Getting the answers because there is a chance that there is something wrong. 00:36:30.248 --> 00:36:35.708 I don't know if I told you, Mac, in grad school, whenever you would do a role 00:36:35.708 --> 00:36:38.848 play for, what am I, therapy, therapist? 00:36:39.548 --> 00:36:43.448 It was always like you would get points knocked off if you first didn't say 00:36:43.448 --> 00:36:47.488 to the pretend person, hey, when's your last medical checkup? 00:36:48.488 --> 00:36:51.828 That's crazy because I've been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was 00:36:51.828 --> 00:36:56.368 14 and I've never had a doctor say, let's check your hormone level. I know. 00:36:56.468 --> 00:37:00.348 Let's check something. thing so even just since you well yeah since you've had 00:37:00.348 --> 00:37:04.548 this happen i've learned about what is perimenopause and the and it's that's 00:37:04.548 --> 00:37:07.908 about hormones yeah and then the thyroid stuff and so 00:37:08.248 --> 00:37:13.988 real it's so it affects you or pmdd there's all kinds of okay that all and because 00:37:13.988 --> 00:37:21.428 i think they're they're kind of all hormone people did you see that you almost died okay that was, 00:37:22.108 --> 00:37:24.968 that okay please go watch the youtube video everybody that was 00:37:24.968 --> 00:37:30.228 a setup just so that people would watch the youtube video no no 00:37:30.228 --> 00:37:33.768 actually what's kind of cool is my adrenaline is not even there's your meditation 00:37:33.768 --> 00:37:38.068 for you i caught that because normally if a balloon pops you oh yeah balloons 00:37:38.068 --> 00:37:43.968 are still gonna freak me out yeah balloons and large dogs but boy microphones 00:37:43.968 --> 00:37:48.568 that was crazy though that was kind of a lot thank you please go we won't even 00:37:48.568 --> 00:37:49.908 tell you go Go watch the YouTube video. 00:37:50.728 --> 00:37:52.768 Hey. Is that what I'm talking about? 00:37:55.408 --> 00:37:58.028 Oh, doctor. Yeah. If you think something's 00:37:58.028 --> 00:38:02.208 wrong. Here. Can you hold my microphone? I'll put this back on. 00:38:04.648 --> 00:38:05.608 But I... 00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:11.859 Like I knew something was off, but I didn't really like even listen to myself, 00:38:12.099 --> 00:38:14.059 which sucks. So listen to yourself. 00:38:14.319 --> 00:38:17.539 Did you ever? I mean, no. How would you have known it would be anything like this? 00:38:17.759 --> 00:38:21.199 Hormones or. That's the thing. I seriously just assumed I wasn't doing the work 00:38:21.199 --> 00:38:23.499 right. Like that's what my that's where my mind went. 00:38:25.099 --> 00:38:28.639 Which is. Well, I think what's unfair, honestly, Mac, and I'm not trying to 00:38:28.639 --> 00:38:31.779 say that we would sit there, mom, and I'd be like, she's not really doing the 00:38:31.779 --> 00:38:36.719 work. But it's like you feel so bad that you want to even as a parent, 00:38:36.759 --> 00:38:39.639 you want to say something like, hey, are you for sure? 00:38:39.959 --> 00:38:43.919 Because it's like I see the work you're doing. So you must not be in the times 00:38:43.919 --> 00:38:45.039 that I don't see you. Right. 00:38:45.159 --> 00:38:48.719 And I was like, I'm doing it. I'm doing the things. 00:38:49.099 --> 00:38:52.299 So that was always frustrating. And I wanted to when I got diagnosed, 00:38:52.499 --> 00:38:55.319 I seriously wanted to like broadcast it to everyone. 00:38:55.459 --> 00:38:59.099 Yeah. In my life, even though nobody would actually it doesn't it doesn't matter. 00:38:59.099 --> 00:39:03.499 But I seriously want to be like, it made me want to go, you guys, it was my thyroid. 00:39:03.719 --> 00:39:07.959 I was doing the work. Like I told you that I was working out. I was eating good. 00:39:08.079 --> 00:39:10.799 Well, full transparency though. Weren't you saying though that you got to a 00:39:10.799 --> 00:39:14.339 point, like maybe as you got feeling worse that you would just like eat one 00:39:14.339 --> 00:39:17.279 meal a day and stuff like that. Okay. So like. Super unhealthy. 00:39:17.519 --> 00:39:22.299 But that was like after you already felt like I'm not, it doesn't matter what I do. Okay. 00:39:22.519 --> 00:39:25.579 Because for a long time you would start doing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. 00:39:25.579 --> 00:39:28.239 Giving up and then trying hard yeah but when i was saying i was 00:39:28.239 --> 00:39:31.699 doing the work i was doing the work yeah and you kept exercising throughout 00:39:31.699 --> 00:39:34.339 the whole thing and it's funny because that's in my mind it's just well as 00:39:34.339 --> 00:39:36.959 long as you exercise you'll be fine right and so that's why i felt 00:39:36.959 --> 00:39:40.499 bad yeah for real yeah um okay 00:39:40.499 --> 00:39:43.339 how long did it take to get my diagnosis it i 00:39:43.339 --> 00:39:46.259 mean all in all it was probably like two months like 00:39:46.259 --> 00:39:51.179 being it was immediately like you have hypothyroidism but then it was a little 00:39:51.179 --> 00:39:55.879 little bit later more blood work that then was when the acid thing that thing 00:39:55.879 --> 00:40:00.099 you have is a whole different thing right possibly yeah i don't know okay i'm 00:40:00.099 --> 00:40:05.559 not sure um okay how is your life easier and how is it harder since getting your diagnosis. 00:40:07.290 --> 00:40:10.050 Easier because answers yeah it is good 00:40:10.050 --> 00:40:12.710 to have answers like i was i was able to say that even when i first got 00:40:12.710 --> 00:40:15.830 diagnosed yeah when i was like miserable and it was awful and i was so scared 00:40:15.830 --> 00:40:19.570 and i was like i don't know what to do with this information but and like just 00:40:19.570 --> 00:40:24.070 overwhelmed with all of it i was like okay there's an answer like that is why 00:40:24.070 --> 00:40:29.330 yeah these things are happening and easier because then it opened up this all 00:40:29.330 --> 00:40:31.770 these doors of like here are things you can actually do, 00:40:32.410 --> 00:40:35.590 about it yeah but in that 00:40:35.590 --> 00:40:38.270 same breath that is how it's gotten 00:40:38.270 --> 00:40:40.990 harder because i've been had to do the thing you did and you 00:40:40.990 --> 00:40:43.770 kept doing i can't not i can't tell you to do them like it's 00:40:43.770 --> 00:40:47.970 i've had to put in that work and so that because i know if i don't i like i 00:40:47.970 --> 00:40:51.270 know what will happen and so i have to put in the work i think about even just 00:40:51.270 --> 00:40:55.110 the simple thing like my favorite bar which they would sponsor is nugo bars 00:40:55.110 --> 00:40:59.510 and they're like they it seems like they're they're everything in them is wholesome 00:40:59.510 --> 00:41:01.670 and wonderful, and you eat the ones that don't have chocolate. 00:41:01.870 --> 00:41:06.370 And I know, I feel like every time I say, well, Mac, they're like so good, though, for you. 00:41:06.430 --> 00:41:09.950 I'm sure you could sneak one of these bad boys in, and you have resisted. 00:41:09.950 --> 00:41:10.990 Don't do it. You don't do chocolate. 00:41:11.670 --> 00:41:13.750 I can't. I'm not supposed to. Gosh, I don't get it. 00:41:15.410 --> 00:41:18.290 Okay, then how did you start? Did you just change and go cold turkey? 00:41:18.450 --> 00:41:22.490 Okay. So yeah, kind of, I did. Which I know is... 00:41:23.314 --> 00:41:26.534 Difficult because if you're not in a position where you're scared of 00:41:26.534 --> 00:41:29.394 like medical things for real man and you don't have that motivation 00:41:29.394 --> 00:41:32.334 it's like i i truthfully don't know what to say to 00:41:32.334 --> 00:41:35.114 be like yeah just do it like it's gonna be great do 00:41:35.114 --> 00:41:37.814 it but it's worth and i don't 00:41:37.814 --> 00:41:40.554 want to sound like i don't want to sound dismissive to anybody 00:41:40.554 --> 00:41:44.214 but i again from my therapist chair is 00:41:44.214 --> 00:41:47.554 i would call it like the scared straight theory so literally 00:41:47.554 --> 00:41:50.274 what it is yeah that's what and i think that's got a 00:41:50.274 --> 00:41:53.114 it's got a it's got a runway or shelf life like i'll have people get 00:41:53.114 --> 00:41:56.054 caught i mean honestly by police or something with stuff 00:41:56.054 --> 00:41:58.854 that they shouldn't or you name it and then 00:41:58.854 --> 00:42:01.634 all of a sudden it's like oh they they they say i will 00:42:01.634 --> 00:42:04.374 never do it again and they really mean it but then it's like 00:42:04.374 --> 00:42:07.334 once that like oh initial scared straight 00:42:07.334 --> 00:42:09.994 wears off so then i think one of the big keys is once you 00:42:09.994 --> 00:42:12.654 get once you're scared then you have to actually put in 00:42:12.654 --> 00:42:15.314 the work because if you just say i'll never do it again all you're doing 00:42:15.314 --> 00:42:18.594 is alleviating your discomfort but it's then taking uh the effort 00:42:18.594 --> 00:42:21.474 to change that is the key right and you jumped right in and did that 00:42:21.474 --> 00:42:24.994 and so i did i made like a lot of little changes 00:42:24.994 --> 00:42:27.754 right at the start because i was so overwhelmed with everything but 00:42:27.754 --> 00:42:33.234 i did like just started drinking more water i stopped drinking soda i changed 00:42:33.234 --> 00:42:38.334 my meals like immediately i stopped eating out for the most part like started 00:42:38.334 --> 00:42:42.194 cooking things started cooking a lot oh you baked how many things have you baked 00:42:42.194 --> 00:42:45.874 that you have not enjoyed honestly like you your trial 00:42:45.954 --> 00:42:50.234 and error is amazing that's i went gluten-free and so i've tried to make so many. 00:42:50.694 --> 00:42:53.474 Gluten-free things and it's i've been so impressed 00:42:53.474 --> 00:42:56.754 with you though you're doing that i've tried i just like immediately started 00:42:56.754 --> 00:42:59.814 trying things and i did try to like kind of make it fun yeah 00:42:59.814 --> 00:43:02.494 and make it like okay i get to like learn these things and i get to and you 00:43:02.494 --> 00:43:05.834 tried so many in the kitchen and i get to like do these things and 00:43:05.834 --> 00:43:09.334 that i think made a difference but so it's 00:43:09.334 --> 00:43:12.654 like yes i did go cold turkey but i know that that's not the most realistic thing 00:43:12.654 --> 00:43:15.414 but i do think the little changes are because it is 00:43:15.414 --> 00:43:18.714 making lifestyle changes like it's not just doing something for 00:43:18.714 --> 00:43:21.694 a month and then being done with it it's being so 00:43:21.694 --> 00:43:24.674 consistent okay okay and then i can't say this enough 00:43:24.674 --> 00:43:27.554 but that is the concept of if we're just do if 00:43:27.554 --> 00:43:30.534 you're just doing it to alleviate your discomfort it 00:43:30.534 --> 00:43:33.234 will not last no but if you're to be like 00:43:33.234 --> 00:43:36.934 this yeah it really does changes and 00:43:36.934 --> 00:43:39.514 feel better and so then even when you're doing it and now all of 00:43:39.514 --> 00:43:42.354 a sudden i don't want to do it anymore there's the the discomfort so now 00:43:42.354 --> 00:43:45.274 i have to a growth comes through that discomfort well because i've i've kind 00:43:45.274 --> 00:43:49.314 of hit a point the last like two weeks where i i do not want to work out i don't 00:43:49.314 --> 00:43:53.714 i don't want to do it i'm over it i hate it i'm like just in a little rut with 00:43:53.714 --> 00:43:57.614 it and i don't want to do it but i show up and i do it anyway you did we work 00:43:57.614 --> 00:44:00.934 we were gym buddies yesterday in the garage gym and you still did like an hour 00:44:00.934 --> 00:44:03.234 on the treadmill or whatever you know the five minute one. 00:44:04.842 --> 00:44:07.542 It's just this little thing. It's like you drop some on the ground. 00:44:07.562 --> 00:44:08.842 You have five minutes before you need it. 00:44:09.422 --> 00:44:12.062 That was seconds, but okay. We've changed it to five minutes. 00:44:12.122 --> 00:44:14.622 Okay. No, it's just, if there's ever anything you don't want to do, 00:44:14.722 --> 00:44:16.122 just commit to five minutes. 00:44:16.382 --> 00:44:18.922 Oh, I like that. Like just get on the treadmill for five minutes. 00:44:18.942 --> 00:44:21.882 And genuinely, if after five minutes you are so done, you can get off. 00:44:22.762 --> 00:44:28.262 But 90% of the time, you're going to keep going. You know, back in my ultra 00:44:28.262 --> 00:44:30.822 running days, you had like a just one more mile rule. 00:44:31.062 --> 00:44:33.482 Okay. Yeah. And it was like, even if you had to walk another mile, 00:44:33.542 --> 00:44:37.062 then before you know it, you're five, six, seven more down the road. 00:44:37.102 --> 00:44:39.282 Yeah. So that's been. That's interesting. 00:44:39.602 --> 00:44:42.842 Even like cooking things too. Like just to be like, just start. 00:44:43.562 --> 00:44:47.362 And probably in five minutes, you'll be like, fine. That's a great rule. 00:44:47.562 --> 00:44:50.742 It's a great rule. It's really helpful when you don't have motivation. 00:44:51.042 --> 00:44:51.942 You don't want to do things. 00:44:52.902 --> 00:44:56.322 Okay. Best way to bring down inflammation in the body. Where to start losing weight. 00:44:57.742 --> 00:45:00.742 Hashimoto's is all about inflammation. your whole body is inflamed basically 00:45:00.742 --> 00:45:03.582 and that's a big part of the why you're supposed to cut out gluten and why i 00:45:03.582 --> 00:45:07.342 have cut out gluten you've said that that alone you think is this game changer 00:45:07.342 --> 00:45:12.522 bodies like don't know how to process i've heard of that but dairy why is it so yummy though. 00:45:14.462 --> 00:45:18.322 I can't have ideas i know but so 00:45:18.322 --> 00:45:22.042 that cutting out gluten seriously like i mean within two 00:45:22.042 --> 00:45:25.662 weeks of doing that like my face had changed like mine like 00:45:25.662 --> 00:45:28.402 my wasn't bloated i wasn't like all these these things i 00:45:28.402 --> 00:45:31.242 just felt a lot better that bloated thing i mean i know that 00:45:31.242 --> 00:45:34.702 feeling yes and that for me gluten and dairy 100 so 00:45:34.702 --> 00:45:37.902 cutting those things out is great for 00:45:37.902 --> 00:45:42.182 that and just even if you do that initially so you start feeling better and 00:45:42.182 --> 00:45:44.842 then you're a little bit more motivated i think to keep doing the things and 00:45:44.842 --> 00:45:47.802 then you start to lose the weight and then you're like this is kind of fun seeing 00:45:47.802 --> 00:45:53.342 the results and then you want to keep going yeah um i don't know where to start 00:45:53.342 --> 00:45:56.202 losing I don't know if that means literally where, 00:45:56.262 --> 00:45:59.802 because if you mean literally where you can't, you cannot spot reduce, 00:45:59.962 --> 00:46:01.842 which I do think is important. 00:46:01.922 --> 00:46:07.122 If you're trying to like make changes in your body, it's important to know you can't pick and choose. 00:46:07.122 --> 00:46:10.162 Yeah i was saying i know that i've heard that that is frustrating 00:46:10.162 --> 00:46:12.742 for some people because you want you're like i want my arms to be 00:46:12.742 --> 00:46:15.702 smaller yeah you know yeah just my butt's disappearing 00:46:15.702 --> 00:46:18.502 a bit kind of a bummer but oh yeah you're 00:46:18.502 --> 00:46:24.302 you just start and it falls off where it wants to um because you use a certain 00:46:24.302 --> 00:46:28.602 program for exercise and eating peloton through and through we are peloton we 00:46:28.602 --> 00:46:33.342 are we have the treadmill the rower and the bike and then we do the outdoor 00:46:33.342 --> 00:46:35.582 or we do all the workouts on the apps. You don't even need the thing. 00:46:35.642 --> 00:46:37.382 I do the meditation through it. 00:46:37.502 --> 00:46:41.722 That has changed my life. I literally use Peloton every single day. Yeah. 00:46:42.382 --> 00:46:45.502 That has been the most motivating thing as far as like exercising goes. 00:46:45.802 --> 00:46:48.342 Are you friends on Peloton? I don't think we are. Why is that? 00:46:49.382 --> 00:46:52.202 I don't think we are. I think I've probably tried to friend you like a thousand 00:46:52.202 --> 00:46:54.502 times. That's so not true. Don't trust me right now. 00:46:56.222 --> 00:47:00.162 But then eating, no. I didn't do anything. Do you do the weight tracker? 00:47:00.402 --> 00:47:01.982 Do you do the calorie app thing? 00:47:02.933 --> 00:47:06.493 Kind of against that. Okay. I think it's unhealthy. I had a fun new bit with 00:47:06.493 --> 00:47:09.093 that with, because, you know, moms does it every single day. 00:47:09.473 --> 00:47:13.773 And I, I got, I do have like, I did it for a little bit and I do feel like I 00:47:13.773 --> 00:47:16.633 got a good idea of like, this is how many calories these things are. 00:47:16.693 --> 00:47:20.553 Yeah. And then moving forward, I just was like mindful of that, but I don't log them. 00:47:20.673 --> 00:47:25.473 Yeah. I do use that app that I use it just to track my weight. 00:47:25.513 --> 00:47:27.953 Okay. It gives you fun graphics every time you lose five pounds. 00:47:28.053 --> 00:47:31.533 Oh, I do not know that about the app. It's where I said I lost five bowling 00:47:31.533 --> 00:47:34.913 balls. Oh, no, I'm saying I've never experienced that. Thank you. 00:47:35.393 --> 00:47:38.373 And every time I started up again, every couple of weeks, it's like you again. 00:47:38.593 --> 00:47:41.413 It does. And it's funny because it kind of sent my change. 00:47:41.493 --> 00:47:44.733 It's like, so do you want to try anything new? Are you going to pretend that 00:47:44.733 --> 00:47:46.273 like the other stuff will work? 00:47:46.313 --> 00:47:49.513 And I was like, no, I think the other stuff will still work. gosh yeah 00:47:49.513 --> 00:47:52.693 but yeah it said you lost five bowling balls 00:47:52.693 --> 00:47:55.393 bowling balls it gives you fun little things like that which is 00:47:55.393 --> 00:47:58.033 crazy like think about running i think about that all the time with 00:47:58.033 --> 00:48:01.513 you because your times are kind of getting back down to 55 pound 00:48:01.513 --> 00:48:04.493 backpack on no that was my life isn't 00:48:04.493 --> 00:48:07.493 that crazy it really is i think i told you um one 00:48:07.493 --> 00:48:10.493 of my friends who is a doctor and i was talking about losing 00:48:10.493 --> 00:48:13.553 weight to help my meniscus problem yeah and 00:48:13.553 --> 00:48:16.873 he had said that every pound was was at four pounds of pressure yeah 00:48:16.873 --> 00:48:19.713 so yeah so like when you and you were at 50 at that point 00:48:19.713 --> 00:48:23.193 and so it was like 200 pounds of pressure per don't really 00:48:23.193 --> 00:48:26.113 bother me anymore that's pretty wild for 00:48:26.113 --> 00:48:29.213 real because you used to have some of that pain so i was i would limp around 00:48:29.213 --> 00:48:34.233 after yeah and i was just like oh she's making that up you know no you're making 00:48:34.233 --> 00:48:39.893 yours up okay okay start that i wasn't really oh my gosh okay uh did you find 00:48:39.893 --> 00:48:45.913 meditation helpful 100 i don't do it enough actually this This could be a whole episode probably. 00:48:46.793 --> 00:48:50.953 But I realized something with meditation that I need you to therapize me. I will. 00:48:51.852 --> 00:48:54.272 I'm really bad at being consistent. I'm really bad at meditating when I feel 00:48:54.272 --> 00:48:57.212 good. I typically only meditate when I'm in full-blown panic mode. 00:48:57.492 --> 00:49:02.112 So I think I've associated it with being panicked. And so if I feel good and 00:49:02.112 --> 00:49:03.232 I meditate, I get scared. 00:49:03.552 --> 00:49:08.312 That is so, it's normal. So it will, shockingly, just to do it every day. 00:49:08.432 --> 00:49:11.412 You keep doing it. Yeah. And it's funny that meditation app, 00:49:11.512 --> 00:49:14.492 when I look on the Peloton app or not meditation app, the Peloton app, 00:49:14.592 --> 00:49:17.232 it was wild how quickly that went. 00:49:17.232 --> 00:49:23.492 And if I look, I think I'm at now 400, uh, meditations and that was within a 00:49:23.492 --> 00:49:27.292 year because once you really start doing it, I mean, if I have five extra minutes, 00:49:27.412 --> 00:49:28.692 I want to do it when I'm feeling good. 00:49:28.872 --> 00:49:32.732 And so that's why, so we, we, we form these like relational frames. 00:49:32.932 --> 00:49:36.112 So it's like anxiety, meditate, feel good. Don't. And that is, 00:49:36.112 --> 00:49:39.912 that is the time to do it because that's what I was saying earlier of when, yeah. 00:49:39.992 --> 00:49:44.232 Cause when we feel like when I feel bad and I want to alleviate my discomfort, then I will meditate. 00:49:44.392 --> 00:49:47.872 That's great. but then once my my discomfort is 00:49:47.872 --> 00:49:50.572 gone then i'm like no i'm good i don't need to worry about it and 00:49:50.572 --> 00:49:53.652 that is when i i have my men's group tonight that we 00:49:53.652 --> 00:49:56.492 did this uh wednesday nights and that's for people that are struggling with turning 00:49:56.492 --> 00:50:00.692 to unhealthy coping mechanisms and and i will often say that it's that story 00:50:00.692 --> 00:50:03.632 of you know this is the last time i'm ever going to do it act out or whatever 00:50:03.632 --> 00:50:07.972 and the person i believe in that moment believes it so then they feel like okay 00:50:07.972 --> 00:50:11.732 no i'm good and so then they wake up the next day and like i don't have to do 00:50:11.732 --> 00:50:14.132 anything different because is I get it now. Like I'm good. 00:50:14.492 --> 00:50:18.012 And I do that. And, you know, people do that over and over and over again. 00:50:18.072 --> 00:50:23.672 And people do it in couples relationships as a couples therapist where they fight, they withdraw. 00:50:23.972 --> 00:50:26.912 Somebody pops their head back out and says, hey, are we good? 00:50:27.252 --> 00:50:29.792 And everyone's like, yeah, because we want to alleviate our discomfort. 00:50:30.012 --> 00:50:31.212 And then once they're like, OK, cool. 00:50:31.472 --> 00:50:34.472 And then they come in and say to me in therapy, no, we're good. 00:50:34.492 --> 00:50:38.292 We're OK now. And that's where I started saying the absence of bad does not mean good. Right. 00:50:38.700 --> 00:50:42.180 And so that that concept is when we feel better, we think, no, 00:50:42.240 --> 00:50:44.520 I'm I'm really and we believe it like I'm good. 00:50:44.840 --> 00:50:49.180 So so that's where I think the meditation, even if and the Peloton has a little five minute ones. 00:50:49.360 --> 00:50:53.300 So it's like even if you just do that every day because you're trying to create 00:50:53.300 --> 00:50:55.840 a new relational frame that it's like I do it daily. 00:50:56.060 --> 00:50:59.040 I mean, this morning I get back from my run and the first thing I do is I, 00:50:59.060 --> 00:51:02.720 you know, I just I go out there and I meditate outside, which has been phenomenal. 00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:06.180 Yeah. And then I'll usually try to throw a little one in the middle of the day. 00:51:06.180 --> 00:51:09.300 And then last night i did one before i went to bed i mean it's it's amazing 00:51:09.300 --> 00:51:12.200 mac yeah i really do think it helps and 00:51:12.200 --> 00:51:15.220 not even obviously i'm not great at it but i do it sometimes 00:51:15.220 --> 00:51:18.140 but even just like i will just do little breathing that 00:51:18.140 --> 00:51:20.800 like yeah okay it's on the live list where i just do 00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:23.540 my in for four hold oh yeah yeah and i'll do that 00:51:23.540 --> 00:51:26.460 even if it's just for like a minute yeah but just trying to 00:51:26.460 --> 00:51:29.820 ground myself a little bit um and i 00:51:29.820 --> 00:51:32.860 just think i think lowering your stress levels and 00:51:32.860 --> 00:51:35.940 your anxiety levels not fixes 00:51:35.940 --> 00:51:38.980 but it gives you the pause and allows you to yes yeah 00:51:38.980 --> 00:51:43.200 and we talked about that better yeah other ways on the live I think we were 00:51:43.200 --> 00:51:48.040 talking about by the way um Mackie joined me on a tiktok live to 10,000 of our 00:51:48.040 --> 00:51:52.760 friends uh and we'll be doing that again probably this won't go out until after 00:51:52.760 --> 00:51:55.040 we've done it again but then we'll do another one I think maybe Sunday night 00:51:55.040 --> 00:51:55.980 when people get this maybe. 00:51:57.092 --> 00:52:00.972 Um, but, but I just, I think give me 30 seconds to say that meditation, 00:52:01.272 --> 00:52:04.192 I want to say this every single time is not about stopping your thoughts. 00:52:04.272 --> 00:52:07.332 It's not about clearing your mind. It's about changing your relationship with thoughts. 00:52:07.452 --> 00:52:10.772 So when you are, you are thinking and ruminating and worrying and wondering, 00:52:10.932 --> 00:52:14.172 and then you do some in through the nose, out through the mouth breathing. 00:52:14.392 --> 00:52:18.052 And then at that point, then when you stop doing that, your brain will go right 00:52:18.052 --> 00:52:19.892 back to thinking and ruminating and worrying. 00:52:19.992 --> 00:52:24.332 And then you come back to the breathing and the present. And it is that doing 00:52:24.332 --> 00:52:30.032 that over and over again, your brain starts to, because your emotions travel, 00:52:30.032 --> 00:52:32.272 some believe, two and a half times faster than your logic. 00:52:32.372 --> 00:52:37.112 So you're having this emotional reaction, and then you're thinking about things. 00:52:37.392 --> 00:52:41.412 So what you're doing with meditation is you're learning to lower your resting 00:52:41.412 --> 00:52:46.052 heart rate, which allows you to have more of a pause before your heart rate elevates. 00:52:46.052 --> 00:52:49.112 If your heart rate elevates, your cortisol levels spike, and then you get into 00:52:49.112 --> 00:52:53.352 that amygdala hijack. And so if you aren't meditating, you aren't sleeping, 00:52:53.472 --> 00:52:56.472 you aren't hydrating, you aren't exercising, then your startle response, 00:52:56.672 --> 00:52:58.432 so to speak, is like right on the edge. 00:52:58.692 --> 00:53:02.372 So then it can be the smallest thing and your heart rate just elevates and your 00:53:02.372 --> 00:53:05.292 cortisol floods your brain and you go right into fight or flight. 00:53:05.292 --> 00:53:09.372 So the daily meditation, the daily mindfulness practice is absolutely about 00:53:09.372 --> 00:53:14.092 over time, lowering your resting heart rate and then training your body that 00:53:14.092 --> 00:53:16.892 as soon as your heart rate starts to elevate, you're going to, 00:53:16.892 --> 00:53:19.872 I mean, you square off your shoulders, you get grounded. 00:53:20.112 --> 00:53:23.352 And it's like you will do that without even knowing you're doing it. 00:53:23.432 --> 00:53:25.292 So that's the goal, if that makes sense. 00:53:25.492 --> 00:53:30.212 Well, side note, my heart rate a couple months ago was sitting steady between 00:53:30.212 --> 00:53:33.712 70 and 80 all the time because I was so anxious and so on edge. 00:53:33.712 --> 00:53:40.532 And so not well, and now I sit at about a 55. Okay, I'm about 56, 57. 00:53:40.852 --> 00:53:44.752 And then when I'm doing the meditating, yeah, that's the ultimate goal. 00:53:44.852 --> 00:53:47.572 This morning I got back from a run, and so I was like, oh, because it was 100 00:53:47.572 --> 00:53:50.572 million degrees here at eight, or is it four in the morning? 00:53:50.892 --> 00:53:52.632 And so my goal now has been to 00:53:52.632 --> 00:53:55.912 try to see how low I can get my heart rate right after a run in the heat. 00:53:55.992 --> 00:53:59.732 And so that's a fun game to play versus the should I meditate, you know? 00:54:00.468 --> 00:54:03.128 Yeah yeah so there's little the little things and like you're saying where it 00:54:03.128 --> 00:54:06.568 is like it's your sleep and it's yeah like your water 00:54:06.568 --> 00:54:09.768 intake and like all these little things they 00:54:09.768 --> 00:54:13.868 do make a big difference and it's hard to see that initially but if you stick 00:54:13.868 --> 00:54:17.448 with it you will notice yeah that like you are feeling better and things are 00:54:17.448 --> 00:54:22.988 okay and all that um okay i feel like already how did you find motivation to 00:54:22.988 --> 00:54:27.748 start fear fear absolutely terrified um did you have help to To lose the weight, 00:54:27.808 --> 00:54:31.088 like a shot or a pill, anything like that. Oh, no. I see. Your dad's motivation. 00:54:31.668 --> 00:54:35.288 My dad motivated me. Did you think about that? I mean, I remember wanting to 00:54:35.288 --> 00:54:36.928 even bring up to you some of those. 00:54:37.108 --> 00:54:41.668 I was about at the point where I was like, I need intervention here. 00:54:41.748 --> 00:54:44.548 Like, I need something to happen here because nothing's changing. 00:54:45.188 --> 00:54:48.708 I will say, though, I do need to give credit to my thyroid medication because 00:54:48.708 --> 00:54:53.428 I do think that's what's helped my metabolism be more normal. 00:54:53.588 --> 00:54:57.908 Gotcha. where then obviously i'm working out more and i've changed my diet completely but i do think, 00:54:58.408 --> 00:55:01.268 part like i feel like i have to say that to 00:55:01.268 --> 00:55:03.968 anyone that because i'm like it's not like yes you can 00:55:03.968 --> 00:55:06.848 do the things and turns out if you're if the 00:55:06.848 --> 00:55:09.948 things in your body are balanced it really is less calories 00:55:09.948 --> 00:55:13.308 yeah yeah that really is the formula like genuinely 00:55:13.308 --> 00:55:16.248 that's it's as simple as that even though you don't 00:55:16.248 --> 00:55:19.508 it's hard to say that when you're doing that it feels like nothing's happening yeah but 00:55:19.508 --> 00:55:22.248 if the other things are balanced so it's like once i got my thyroid a little bit more 00:55:22.248 --> 00:55:25.748 balance it really did come down to calorie in 00:55:25.748 --> 00:55:30.008 calorie out and some movement literally yeah it's like that's as simple as it 00:55:30.008 --> 00:55:34.728 was um okay we already kind of talked about food relationship changing we're 00:55:34.728 --> 00:55:39.168 basically genuinely food to me now is like it's fuel i would love that yeah 00:55:39.168 --> 00:55:41.988 there's still times i'm like i would really want that and i really and i let 00:55:41.988 --> 00:55:43.848 myself have certain things like. 00:55:44.868 --> 00:55:49.928 Moderation leverage but i do think you shouldn't restrict things i think that yes where i've had 00:55:49.968 --> 00:55:53.028 to make gluten-free options and do silly things like that but i think 00:55:53.028 --> 00:55:56.508 you should eat what you want to eat still um any advice 00:55:56.508 --> 00:56:00.928 for someone consistently working out but not disciplined with diet which 00:56:00.928 --> 00:56:03.648 unfortunately i feel like you have 00:56:03.648 --> 00:56:06.468 to be disciplined i know i was gonna say i will tell this person the good 00:56:06.468 --> 00:56:09.448 news is you're working out but the reality is there 00:56:09.448 --> 00:56:12.388 has to be an acceptance that okay now that i have this base of working 00:56:12.388 --> 00:56:15.348 out that now i need to slowly move into diet and i'm 00:56:15.348 --> 00:56:18.308 not one that is good at this that's i'm an ultra runner for 25 years 00:56:18.308 --> 00:56:21.128 so as long as you run on a dozen miles a day you can eat whatever you 00:56:21.128 --> 00:56:24.028 want but now that i'm not running in a dozen miles yeah after 00:56:24.028 --> 00:56:27.448 20 years i ate a bowl ice cream every single night oh 00:56:27.448 --> 00:56:31.868 and some nights they would double down if i did like 15 miles or so or 20 on 00:56:31.868 --> 00:56:35.528 a saturday then but it's like i think that that one's one where i think it just 00:56:35.528 --> 00:56:41.168 give yourself grace continue to give yourself props for exercise and then slowly 00:56:41.168 --> 00:56:46.148 start to add in the diet yeah it's hard it is hard but i do think there is the 00:56:46.308 --> 00:56:48.968 stupid, it's kind of the 80-20, 00:56:49.148 --> 00:56:53.408 80-diet-20 working out thing. And that there is truth to that, unfortunately. 00:56:53.508 --> 00:56:56.048 Yeah, there is. The way they say abs are created in the kitchen. 00:56:56.148 --> 00:56:59.528 I hate that. I hate that. Yeah, it sucks so bad, but there really is truth to that. 00:57:00.585 --> 00:57:06.065 So I do think that, but there are so many benefits to working out where it's 00:57:06.065 --> 00:57:06.925 like, that's still a good thing. 00:57:06.965 --> 00:57:10.065 And you should still be proud of yourself or even if that's all you're doing. 00:57:10.525 --> 00:57:12.705 Um, okay. We're almost done. 00:57:13.225 --> 00:57:16.125 How, oh, that just more, how do you stay motivated? 00:57:16.265 --> 00:57:19.365 I feel like I do well for a while and then fizzle out, which that's what I was 00:57:19.365 --> 00:57:20.665 in a cycle of doing for so long. 00:57:20.745 --> 00:57:24.685 And I do feel like there's this, I've reached this level of like, 00:57:24.765 --> 00:57:30.065 there is a self love thing in there that maybe we can even do a whole other type of thing on. 00:57:30.065 --> 00:57:33.385 On no for real but i think that when you really look 00:57:33.385 --> 00:57:36.405 inward and and view your worth and your 00:57:36.405 --> 00:57:40.045 value and like love your soul 00:57:40.045 --> 00:57:45.885 and who you are you realize that you are so worth the effort yeah and i think 00:57:45.885 --> 00:57:48.145 that's a huge part of it where again like i'm saying where it's like even when 00:57:48.145 --> 00:57:52.105 i don't want to show up i show up because i do care about myself yeah you know 00:57:52.105 --> 00:57:54.985 and that does kind of help i think that was the thing you should listen to your 00:57:54.985 --> 00:57:57.705 body and there are days that i don't work out like If there are days where I'm 00:57:57.705 --> 00:57:59.665 like, today's, it's not a big day and that's okay. 00:57:59.785 --> 00:58:01.985 I remember we were having a conversation when we were just hanging out at the 00:58:01.985 --> 00:58:05.045 pool that one day about like, I was talking to you about the concept of being 00:58:05.045 --> 00:58:10.465 differentiated too, is that once I recognize that I don't need someone else to tell me I'm okay. 00:58:10.605 --> 00:58:15.405 Yeah. It's also a lot easier to stay grounded when people are maybe not treating 00:58:15.405 --> 00:58:17.825 you as kindly or people are trying to criticize you. 00:58:17.905 --> 00:58:22.945 And if you're good with yourself, then you're not even reacting saying you can't say that or whatever. 00:58:23.045 --> 00:58:25.385 It's like, okay, those are words you're saying because I'm good. 00:58:25.565 --> 00:58:27.905 Yeah. And so I think that self-love thing is really important. 00:58:28.065 --> 00:58:31.605 Yeah. And so I do feel like I've through this whole thing. 00:58:31.645 --> 00:58:34.505 Yeah. It's like, I have had to look inward a lot and I have had to put in the 00:58:34.505 --> 00:58:38.225 time and spend a lot of time with myself in doing that. 00:58:38.265 --> 00:58:42.965 And so I do just think that, but also freaking Peloton, the Peloton instructors. 00:58:43.425 --> 00:58:47.105 I love it. Yeah. They're, they're good. They're good. 00:58:47.805 --> 00:58:51.045 They just say things that like a lot of that. 00:58:51.265 --> 00:58:55.425 Yes, you can. But they do, They say so many things like that and about like, 00:58:55.485 --> 00:58:57.605 you are worth this effort. 00:58:57.885 --> 00:59:01.065 Yeah, I know. I love it too. I do. I think it's so great. I do. 00:59:01.705 --> 00:59:05.485 I feel like that has, I've heard it so many times now because of how many classes 00:59:05.485 --> 00:59:08.045 I've taken that I just, it's kind of, I'm like, yeah, I am. 00:59:09.205 --> 00:59:12.925 It's always like, if you think you can't, you can. Yeah, I can. 00:59:13.365 --> 00:59:16.785 And sometimes they go, you can. And I'm like, no, I can't. Right. 00:59:17.445 --> 00:59:20.845 And start crying. Okay. Last question was, how do you keep staying positive 00:59:20.845 --> 00:59:23.525 with your diagnosis? Is this the part you're talking about your dad? 00:59:23.745 --> 00:59:26.185 Yeah. I want to see. Back when I was a kid. 00:59:27.645 --> 00:59:32.265 No, I think just, I kind of said something about this in that post that I did, 00:59:32.345 --> 00:59:34.925 but just the, like embracing, 00:59:35.105 --> 00:59:38.485 which is a lot of your acceptance stuff here, embracing the fact that you really, 00:59:38.525 --> 00:59:43.065 you cannot control what life makes at you. Life's lifing all over you, Mac. It will. 00:59:43.345 --> 00:59:50.185 It's going to life crap out of you. Yeah. And like that can suck in a lot of ways, but it just is. 00:59:50.485 --> 00:59:52.525 And I think if you can accept that, then it's like, 00:59:53.510 --> 00:59:56.110 I don't have a say in what life's going to throw at me. I didn't have a say 00:59:56.110 --> 00:59:58.410 in getting this autoimmune disease. Yeah. 00:59:59.950 --> 01:00:04.470 But I have a say in how I'm going to react. 01:00:04.570 --> 01:00:07.610 Yeah, exact words. And what's I'm going to take and what's going to come next. 01:00:07.670 --> 01:00:08.650 And that's what I've done. 01:00:08.770 --> 01:00:13.390 I have taken that because there is the thing where I feel like mom is the one 01:00:13.390 --> 01:00:16.070 that says or has talked to me about this. 01:00:16.170 --> 01:00:18.970 But if you quit and you 01:00:18.970 --> 01:00:21.950 give up and you decide to just be negative and 01:00:21.950 --> 01:00:24.890 go in the corner and whatever you know exactly what the outcome is yep 01:00:24.890 --> 01:00:27.590 every time you know exactly what that's going to look like 01:00:27.590 --> 01:00:30.710 and feel like and it sucks but if you try 01:00:30.710 --> 01:00:36.070 if you even try to like do something good with the situation you open up all 01:00:36.070 --> 01:00:39.750 these doors and then there's room for all these possible outcomes that could 01:00:39.750 --> 01:00:43.830 be so good and they're uncertain and you don't know but it's better than the 01:00:43.830 --> 01:00:48.170 one you know well it's funny and you're right mom's i don't now it's not like well i said. 01:00:48.790 --> 01:00:51.850 Right oh no no i'm not but i just i remember when when your 01:00:51.850 --> 01:00:54.530 uh cousin connor was here and we were sitting around on a saturday and it 01:00:54.530 --> 01:00:57.630 was actually mom saying okay let's go visit this uh like ghost town 01:00:57.630 --> 01:01:00.470 or whatever remember that yeah and then and then yeah because we 01:01:00.470 --> 01:01:03.390 were saying that if you if we sit here even if 01:01:03.390 --> 01:01:06.450 we're not not enjoying it we know what 01:01:06.450 --> 01:01:09.130 sitting around another saturday at our house is going to 01:01:09.130 --> 01:01:12.030 feel like but we didn't know what going to a cool ghost 01:01:12.030 --> 01:01:14.810 town and doing in the zip line and it was dope it was 01:01:14.810 --> 01:01:17.710 so fun it really was yeah but yeah 01:01:17.710 --> 01:01:20.750 so i just think like we i think i've been able to 01:01:20.750 --> 01:01:23.530 obviously i had my moments like we didn't go i need to find that 01:01:23.530 --> 01:01:26.390 episode we recorded because we talked more about the interesting 01:01:26.390 --> 01:01:29.350 parts of it and how awful the actual diagnosis was 01:01:29.350 --> 01:01:33.190 and how scary it was and how it was like actually horrible 01:01:33.190 --> 01:01:36.430 but i think just yeah 01:01:36.430 --> 01:01:39.190 except it like kind of in that acceptance that it is what it is 01:01:39.190 --> 01:01:41.790 basically and i get to choose if I want to 01:01:41.790 --> 01:01:44.730 be that person that hides behind it and lets it 01:01:44.730 --> 01:01:47.430 be my identity or if I want to live the life I 01:01:47.430 --> 01:01:50.790 want to live regardless yeah and so it's like I think that we 01:01:50.790 --> 01:01:55.270 can take those take the setbacks that are thrown at us and we can let them crush 01:01:55.270 --> 01:02:00.590 us and we can be miserable or we can just try and it's better to try yeah I 01:02:00.590 --> 01:02:03.050 don't want to sound mean with it but it's like you do have that's where you 01:02:03.050 --> 01:02:08.590 have the choice yeah that is the choice right there um but yeah so then to kind of circle back, 01:02:08.630 --> 01:02:12.250 I guess, back to your body is the least interesting thing about you. 01:02:12.970 --> 01:02:16.890 Our bodies are so capable of changing and adjusting. 01:02:17.130 --> 01:02:20.710 And I think like as humans, we are so resilient, like by nature. 01:02:20.850 --> 01:02:24.230 Real. That's just how we work. We are made to adapt in our brain. 01:02:24.490 --> 01:02:26.870 I was going to say the brain, I was saying the same thing, Mac. 01:02:26.930 --> 01:02:31.130 And that's so real. And so it's like we are resilient and we bounce back in all the things. 01:02:32.184 --> 01:02:35.924 And so even though our bodies are the least interesting things about us and 01:02:35.924 --> 01:02:38.124 about who we are, they are really cool. 01:02:38.224 --> 01:02:42.964 Yeah. And they do a lot for us. And so it's okay to want to value that. 01:02:43.024 --> 01:02:46.704 And it's okay to put the time in to yourself to work on that. 01:02:47.144 --> 01:02:54.084 And work on yourself and be who you want to be. Taking care of yourself, both mind and body. 01:02:54.444 --> 01:02:56.524 Because you are worth the changes and you are worth the effort. 01:02:57.184 --> 01:03:00.764 You are enough. You are enough. Can I ask you one more quick question? 01:03:00.924 --> 01:03:05.004 Yeah. So I remember having a friend of mine that had the weight loss surgery 01:03:05.004 --> 01:03:06.224 and he lost a ton of weight. 01:03:06.284 --> 01:03:09.964 And I told him he looked good. And he's one of the first people that ever said, I appreciate that. 01:03:10.044 --> 01:03:12.764 But he said, it makes me think that people didn't think I look good. 01:03:13.224 --> 01:03:16.244 Have you had any of those feet? Like when people say, okay, yeah. 01:03:17.084 --> 01:03:20.704 Mostly, mostly I'm just like, thank you for noticing. Okay. That feels good. 01:03:20.804 --> 01:03:24.204 Yeah. But there is still part of it. I was telling mom about this. 01:03:24.764 --> 01:03:28.504 People are so shallow and gross because I'm not even kidding. 01:03:28.504 --> 01:03:31.184 For two years people like didn't pay to like stop i was gonna 01:03:31.184 --> 01:03:34.304 say mac i get like oh the grocery store and 01:03:34.304 --> 01:03:38.304 i got checked out by like mom was like no you did a cafe real last night did 01:03:38.304 --> 01:03:41.904 you notice that by all the firemen in front of you look at me and you didn't 01:03:41.904 --> 01:03:46.444 when i wait i noticed that too yeah it's just so wild because it's true i wondered 01:03:46.444 --> 01:03:50.384 if you were noticing that and people are nicer to me now than they like just 01:03:50.384 --> 01:03:54.064 strangers yeah wild that's a whole other thing in itself But anyways, 01:03:54.244 --> 01:03:59.104 your worth is still there, regardless. Thank you. It's the bottom line, Tony. 01:03:59.524 --> 01:04:01.004 And nobody else. Thank you. 01:04:02.244 --> 01:04:05.464 But your body's least interesting about you, but it's still really cool. 01:04:05.724 --> 01:04:08.324 Okay. I was proud of you anyway, but I'm very proud of you now. 01:04:08.444 --> 01:04:11.244 More, but not more proud of you, but the same pride of you. 01:04:11.544 --> 01:04:15.544 More proud of you, but I was kind of. And you look the exact same and you're 01:04:15.544 --> 01:04:17.664 normal. I don't see. I'm all right. 01:04:19.104 --> 01:04:23.624 Okay. But are we back? Are we recording now forever, every single day again for the next few years? 01:04:23.744 --> 01:04:27.584 We've never done that in our entire life. How about weekly or every other week? Yeah, we can do that. 01:04:29.744 --> 01:04:35.184 We did it. Hey, check us out on TikTok. Mackie's still fun and Sid's in Switzerland for a month. 01:04:36.284 --> 01:04:40.664 So, but then when she comes back, you know, you're taking her job, right? No. 01:04:40.964 --> 01:04:43.764 No. We also go to the virtual couch. Yeah. On TikTok. 01:04:43.884 --> 01:04:48.144 At virtual couch on TikTok and at virtual.couch on the Instagram because we 01:04:48.144 --> 01:04:51.584 want to start doing some more lives there too. And Beauty by Mackie. 01:04:52.904 --> 01:04:55.264 And, okay, have you seen this one? Okay, for those watching, 01:04:55.444 --> 01:05:00.004 do you know I know a new one on Zoom? Watch this. Get ready. 01:05:01.464 --> 01:05:05.304 It's a rave. Oh my God. Isn't that funny with a smoke machine and everything? 01:05:05.904 --> 01:05:09.704 Okay. I hope that happens to you one time in therapy when you're having a crazy. 01:05:09.764 --> 01:05:11.964 That one hasn't. That one hasn't. Today I did another one where. 01:05:12.104 --> 01:05:14.944 That could be good. Yeah. But today I did another. I was doing something like 01:05:14.944 --> 01:05:16.184 this and I got the fireworks again. 01:05:16.304 --> 01:05:19.644 And that was really funny. You know, because I mean, it was like with a guy 01:05:19.644 --> 01:05:21.204 that was ready for it. There's the fireworks. 01:05:21.904 --> 01:05:24.704 But the best, the best ever though. I know they are. 01:05:24.824 --> 01:05:28.664 The best ever is like this one is so subtle. So subtle with this one right there. 01:05:28.664 --> 01:05:34.644 But i think it's so good the balloons good stuff okay mackie you're awesome 01:05:34.644 --> 01:05:41.344 you you are good okay love you bye everybody okay, 01:05:43.484 --> 01:05:45.164 i don't even know.