Hey. Welcome to the Stephanie Stevens show where
I help you discover the power of communication
and the keys that unlock the doors to
freedom
in every area of your life. Hello my
dear sweet friend, so nice to be chatting
with you again, today on this glorious day.
Just a quick reminder, you know how we
do.
Have you said your thank yous yet? Have
you found your 3 beautiful things that you
can be grateful for today right here right
now just
either looking around you and experiencing what is
around you or going inside,
closing your eyes going internally and finding 3
things
that you can thank your creator for right
here right now today before another minute goes
by.
Alright. Excellent. You know, this podcast is about
communication, and I talk about other things as
well because, you know,
communication touches every area of our lives from
our businesses to our families and our relationships
and our, how we show up in
society and how we show up in whatever
given circumstance
situation we are in at our jobs, in
our hobbies, all of it. Right? It touches
every component of our lives. And so
I had a very interesting conversation the other
day, and I wanted to share it with
you because it reminded me that although you
and I are personally
pursuing
self mastery and mastery in
communications in our ability to get our points
across to listen to hear to troubleshoot and
to express ourselves in the best means possible.
Whatever that expression looks like and, you know,
you may be a better writer than you
are an order. That's fine. That's great. It's
about tapping into how we best express ourselves
and then allowing that to raise the collective,
you know, influence other
situations and other people for good in whatever
area we've been called into. So we're on
this journey. Right? And and daily, we are
taking in content and we're pursuing excellence in
all of these areas of our lives. And
we're just like here to reach our full
potential. Right?
I was so mindful the other day in
having a conversation that not everybody is on
the same journey, but it was very refreshing
and it was very enlighten because it reminded
me that ultimately
make any change. We have to first
identify what needs change, which means we have
to pinpoint where we are right now. In
the present moment. Like, our starting point needs
to be identified and then where we're headed
also needs to be clearly
identified. And so I was having this conversation
with somebody and it was about somebody I
had run into from the past and the
person I was talking to
clearly was not in favor
of the other person that I had mentioned
seeing down at the hardware store. And
so much so that
he started telling some stories about this person
and I said well, you know, let's just
be cautious
because we don't know that that's actually true.
I mean, hearsay is hearsay and we've all
had it happened to us, and we wouldn't
want somebody saying things about us that weren't
true, you know, on I went and my
little enlightened mini speech. And then I finished
it by saying, whatever.
Regardless, I just hope that he, the man
we were talking about. I just hope he's
doing well. I hope his family as well.
Hope he's you know, doing well in his
business and that he's just god bless him,
whatever.
And a moment or 2 of silence went
by.
And I have to fore warn you. I'm
gonna swear here because I'm gonna I'm gonna
say it exactly as this person said it.
So if you've got little ears close by,
please turn it down for just about 10
seconds. Okay?
Here we go. On the other end of
the phone, the comment in return was, oh,
yeah, well, I hope he's a miserable piece
of shit,
end, quote,
Okay. So hopefully you've turned me back up
now. The wearing is over.
And I thought, wow, I paused for a
moment, and then I burst out and laughter.
So if you are someone who had to
momentarily turned down because you've got little ears
close by in the car wherever you're listening,
the expression was
that I won't use the word I used,
but the sentiment was,
I hope that this guy is a miserable
piece of yuck ness. Sometimes I'm was gonna
put it that way. In other words, he
he said, I I hope he's miserable. I
hope he's not doing a little all. And
It was, like, shocking to me at first.
And then I laughed it loud. Because it
struck me so funny. Just hearing hearing those
words back. I hope he's a miserable beep
hearing those words to me struck me as
very, very funny in the moment because it
was so
outside of where I was trying to take
the conversation and also,
it was really honest. I'm not saying it
was good. I'm not saying it was evolved,
but it really was super honest. And the
ron of that sentiment, and the honesty of
that sentiment
switched something on the inside of me. And
here's why. We're always encouraging that we wanna
forgive quickly and we wanna release past defenses
and we wanna be so and, you know,
evolved and we wanna just really help the
whole world and love the whole world and
find compassion for the whole world and remove
our egos and, you know, essentially walk on
water. Right? And the the fact of the
matter is, the reality is that's not true
on the inside all the time.
We can play that game on the outside,
and we can appear very
diplomatic and very non ego driven and very
kind and compassionate and, you know, turning the
other cheek and all all that goes into
that.
But the reality is we are still
spiritual beings having a very human experience.
And in the entanglement of those human experiences
we
experience pain, and people make us angry, and
people tick us off.
And people tweak us and they trigger us,
and they mess with us, and sometimes they
even do it intentionally.
And so when this comment flow out of
his mouth. You know, I hope he's a
miserable beep,
I thought, well, isn't that at least at
the very moment real and true. That is
a true trans parent statement.
He is not holding back anything. He is
saying exactly how he feels,
and it's pretty clear. No min any words
here. We we know exactly where this dude
lands on how he feels about the other
guy.
And it reminded me that in all of
these conversations we have about communication.
The most important thing is transparency and honesty
with ourselves to ourselves first.
I certainly would never recommend that this man
go and say what he said to me
to that guy. Next time he sees him.
Like, if he bumps into him at the
hardware store, I certainly wouldn't encourage him to
go up and say, hey, by the way,
looks like you're doing well, but I actually
hope you're a miserable beep. Right? And he
wouldn't do that. You know, that wouldn't happen,
but it was a sentiment that he was
feeling and he expressed it to me in
the moment. So that is the pinnacle really
of all change. It's noticing
where we are now. Nothing will change until
and unless we notice
where our baseline
is. Where are we standing and where are
we headed? Now if we're standing on resentment
and anger Then that's what we say. We
say. I am standing on a platform that
looks like anger and resentment,
frustration or whatever it is. And just simply
acknowledging that. And being honest about that is
going to start to release the valve on
the steam. It's going to start to release
the pressure. It's going to start easing some
of that.
It's gonna start releasing it just because we
have spend the energy into acknowledging it. Sometimes
stuff just wants to be acknowledged. Sometimes our
unconscious mind works in a way that just
wants you to recognize what you keep trying
to ignore. So look at it. What is
it? What do you see there and then
say it. Okay. Here's where I am. I
am right here, and this sentiment makes me
feel like I want that dude to be
miserable. Or I'm standing right here, and in
this place. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm tired.
I don't think things are fair. You name
it. Whatever the world is upside down. I
think right is wrong and wrong is right.
And then you say and express where you
are and how you're actually feeling in that
moment. And then just by speaking it out
and releasing some of it, you have the
opportunity now to project where you wanna go.
Here's where I'm standing, but what I'd love
to do is I would love to be
able to wish that guy well. I would
love to be able to feel
absolutely no trigger upon entering this situation or
bumping into this person or having this particular
situation come up in in my life. I
don't wanna feel the trigger anymore. So if
I say I'm starting here now my next
step is determining what was the first situation
of my life that ever made me feel
that. Way. They call it in psychology,
the initial sen
event.
Where was the initial sen event who was
it? Where was it in my life in
my past that I first remember this pattern
starting or that feeling that strong feeling of
whatever it is and then name it ina
or insecurity or fear or uncertainty. Whatever that
is now
you name it. And finding where it came
from, finding that initial sen
event. Again
starts peeling back another layer of releasing and
healing. We have to start somewhere, and I
just love the honesty of people who can
simply say here's what I'm feeling. Here's where
I'm at and make no apologies and no
bones about it. Because that's what it is.
That's the truth of where we're starting. We're
working up from there, and that's fine. But
we all start somewhere. So my invitation to
you today, my friend is to think of
a situation that pulls that trigger for you
or that makes you wanna say, you know,
I hope that guy or that girl is
miserable beep,
let's...
Or I hope that situation fails. Because I
don't like it. Or I hope you know,
whatever it is. Let's find something that we've
maybe Russell with or tried to push off
to the side or pretend didn't bother us
but really honestly does.
Let's pull it back out. Let's take a
look at it, put it in front of
us and determine what it is. Let's call
it, name it. And then let's find out
where in the past we first experience that
feeling or that sentiment because that is where
the pathology starts.
That's where those patterns and those kinds of
people start creeping in
until we see it and until we resolve
it and then take the lesson
and grow from it. And then carry it
forward from there. So first invitation, and we're
getting honest, we're calling it what it is,
and then we're finding the past
initial sen event where we first experienced that.
Alright. In the next long form episode I
will go into what to do next. But
that's enough for today. And, of course, I'm
with you in it as always my friend.
Much loved to you, and I can't wait
to see you. On the next episode.
Thanks so much for listening to the Stephanie
Stevens show. Please remember to subscribe so we
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