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Hey. Welcome to the Stephanie Stevens show where

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I help you discover the power of communication

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and the keys that unlock the doors to

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freedom

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in every area of your life. Hello my

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dear sweet friend, so nice to be chatting

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with you again, today on this glorious day.

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Just a quick reminder, you know how we

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do.

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Have you said your thank yous yet? Have

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you found your 3 beautiful things that you

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can be grateful for today right here right

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now just

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either looking around you and experiencing what is

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around you or going inside,

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closing your eyes going internally and finding 3

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things

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that you can thank your creator for right

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here right now today before another minute goes

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by.

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Alright. Excellent. You know, this podcast is about

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communication, and I talk about other things as

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well because, you know,

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communication touches every area of our lives from

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our businesses to our families and our relationships

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and our, how we show up in

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society and how we show up in whatever

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given circumstance

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situation we are in at our jobs, in

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our hobbies, all of it. Right? It touches

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every component of our lives. And so

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I had a very interesting conversation the other

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day, and I wanted to share it with

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you because it reminded me that although you

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and I are personally

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pursuing

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self mastery and mastery in

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communications in our ability to get our points

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across to listen to hear to troubleshoot and

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to express ourselves in the best means possible.

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Whatever that expression looks like and, you know,

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you may be a better writer than you

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are an order. That's fine. That's great. It's

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about tapping into how we best express ourselves

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and then allowing that to raise the collective,

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you know, influence other

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situations and other people for good in whatever

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area we've been called into. So we're on

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this journey. Right? And and daily, we are

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taking in content and we're pursuing excellence in

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all of these areas of our lives. And

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we're just like here to reach our full

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potential. Right?

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I was so mindful the other day in

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having a conversation that not everybody is on

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the same journey, but it was very refreshing

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and it was very enlighten because it reminded

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me that ultimately

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make any change. We have to first

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identify what needs change, which means we have

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to pinpoint where we are right now. In

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the present moment. Like, our starting point needs

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to be identified and then where we're headed

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also needs to be clearly

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identified. And so I was having this conversation

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with somebody and it was about somebody I

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had run into from the past and the

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person I was talking to

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clearly was not in favor

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of the other person that I had mentioned

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seeing down at the hardware store. And

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so much so that

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he started telling some stories about this person

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and I said well, you know, let's just

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be cautious

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because we don't know that that's actually true.

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I mean, hearsay is hearsay and we've all

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had it happened to us, and we wouldn't

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want somebody saying things about us that weren't

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true, you know, on I went and my

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little enlightened mini speech. And then I finished

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it by saying, whatever.

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Regardless, I just hope that he, the man

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we were talking about. I just hope he's

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doing well. I hope his family as well.

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Hope he's you know, doing well in his

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business and that he's just god bless him,

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whatever.

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And a moment or 2 of silence went

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by.

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And I have to fore warn you. I'm

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gonna swear here because I'm gonna I'm gonna

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say it exactly as this person said it.

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So if you've got little ears close by,

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please turn it down for just about 10

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seconds. Okay?

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Here we go. On the other end of

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the phone, the comment in return was, oh,

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yeah, well, I hope he's a miserable piece

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of shit,

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end, quote,

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Okay. So hopefully you've turned me back up

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now. The wearing is over.

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And I thought, wow, I paused for a

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moment, and then I burst out and laughter.

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So if you are someone who had to

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momentarily turned down because you've got little ears

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close by in the car wherever you're listening,

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the expression was

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that I won't use the word I used,

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but the sentiment was,

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I hope that this guy is a miserable

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piece of yuck ness. Sometimes I'm was gonna

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put it that way. In other words, he

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he said, I I hope he's miserable. I

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hope he's not doing a little all. And

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It was, like, shocking to me at first.

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And then I laughed it loud. Because it

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struck me so funny. Just hearing hearing those

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words back. I hope he's a miserable beep

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hearing those words to me struck me as

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very, very funny in the moment because it

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was so

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outside of where I was trying to take

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the conversation and also,

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it was really honest. I'm not saying it

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was good. I'm not saying it was evolved,

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but it really was super honest. And the

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ron of that sentiment, and the honesty of

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that sentiment

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switched something on the inside of me. And

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here's why. We're always encouraging that we wanna

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forgive quickly and we wanna release past defenses

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and we wanna be so and, you know,

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evolved and we wanna just really help the

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whole world and love the whole world and

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find compassion for the whole world and remove

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our egos and, you know, essentially walk on

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water. Right? And the the fact of the

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matter is, the reality is that's not true

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on the inside all the time.

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We can play that game on the outside,

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and we can appear very

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diplomatic and very non ego driven and very

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kind and compassionate and, you know, turning the

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other cheek and all all that goes into

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that.

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But the reality is we are still

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spiritual beings having a very human experience.

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And in the entanglement of those human experiences

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we

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experience pain, and people make us angry, and

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people tick us off.

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And people tweak us and they trigger us,

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and they mess with us, and sometimes they

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even do it intentionally.

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And so when this comment flow out of

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his mouth. You know, I hope he's a

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miserable beep,

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I thought, well, isn't that at least at

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the very moment real and true. That is

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a true trans parent statement.

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He is not holding back anything. He is

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saying exactly how he feels,

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and it's pretty clear. No min any words

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here. We we know exactly where this dude

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lands on how he feels about the other

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guy.

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And it reminded me that in all of

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these conversations we have about communication.

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The most important thing is transparency and honesty

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with ourselves to ourselves first.

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I certainly would never recommend that this man

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go and say what he said to me

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to that guy. Next time he sees him.

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Like, if he bumps into him at the

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hardware store, I certainly wouldn't encourage him to

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go up and say, hey, by the way,

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looks like you're doing well, but I actually

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hope you're a miserable beep. Right? And he

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wouldn't do that. You know, that wouldn't happen,

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but it was a sentiment that he was

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feeling and he expressed it to me in

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the moment. So that is the pinnacle really

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of all change. It's noticing

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where we are now. Nothing will change until

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and unless we notice

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where our baseline

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is. Where are we standing and where are

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we headed? Now if we're standing on resentment

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and anger Then that's what we say. We

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say. I am standing on a platform that

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looks like anger and resentment,

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frustration or whatever it is. And just simply

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acknowledging that. And being honest about that is

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going to start to release the valve on

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the steam. It's going to start to release

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the pressure. It's going to start easing some

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of that.

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It's gonna start releasing it just because we

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have spend the energy into acknowledging it. Sometimes

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stuff just wants to be acknowledged. Sometimes our

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unconscious mind works in a way that just

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wants you to recognize what you keep trying

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to ignore. So look at it. What is

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it? What do you see there and then

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say it. Okay. Here's where I am. I

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am right here, and this sentiment makes me

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feel like I want that dude to be

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miserable. Or I'm standing right here, and in

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this place. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm tired.

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I don't think things are fair. You name

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it. Whatever the world is upside down. I

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think right is wrong and wrong is right.

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And then you say and express where you

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are and how you're actually feeling in that

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moment. And then just by speaking it out

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and releasing some of it, you have the

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opportunity now to project where you wanna go.

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Here's where I'm standing, but what I'd love

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to do is I would love to be

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able to wish that guy well. I would

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love to be able to feel

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absolutely no trigger upon entering this situation or

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bumping into this person or having this particular

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situation come up in in my life. I

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don't wanna feel the trigger anymore. So if

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I say I'm starting here now my next

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step is determining what was the first situation

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of my life that ever made me feel

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that. Way. They call it in psychology,

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the initial sen

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event.

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Where was the initial sen event who was

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it? Where was it in my life in

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my past that I first remember this pattern

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starting or that feeling that strong feeling of

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whatever it is and then name it ina

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or insecurity or fear or uncertainty. Whatever that

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is now

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you name it. And finding where it came

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from, finding that initial sen

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event. Again

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starts peeling back another layer of releasing and

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healing. We have to start somewhere, and I

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just love the honesty of people who can

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simply say here's what I'm feeling. Here's where

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I'm at and make no apologies and no

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bones about it. Because that's what it is.

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That's the truth of where we're starting. We're

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working up from there, and that's fine. But

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we all start somewhere. So my invitation to

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you today, my friend is to think of

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a situation that pulls that trigger for you

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or that makes you wanna say, you know,

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I hope that guy or that girl is

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miserable beep,

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let's...

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Or I hope that situation fails. Because I

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don't like it. Or I hope you know,

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whatever it is. Let's find something that we've

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maybe Russell with or tried to push off

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to the side or pretend didn't bother us

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but really honestly does.

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Let's pull it back out. Let's take a

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look at it, put it in front of

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us and determine what it is. Let's call

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it, name it. And then let's find out

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where in the past we first experience that

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feeling or that sentiment because that is where

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the pathology starts.

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That's where those patterns and those kinds of

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people start creeping in

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until we see it and until we resolve

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it and then take the lesson

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and grow from it. And then carry it

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forward from there. So first invitation, and we're

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getting honest, we're calling it what it is,

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and then we're finding the past

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initial sen event where we first experienced that.

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Alright. In the next long form episode I

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will go into what to do next. But

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that's enough for today. And, of course, I'm

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with you in it as always my friend.

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Much loved to you, and I can't wait

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to see you. On the next episode.

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Thanks so much for listening to the Stephanie

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Stevens show. Please remember to subscribe so we

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can stay connected and you never miss an

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episode of the podcast.

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Oh, and if you haven't left a rating

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yet, please be sure to do so, it

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helps incredible people like you find the podcast.

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We'll see you on the next episode.