1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:02,905
Hey. Welcome to the Stephanie Stevens show where

2
00:00:03,065 --> 00:00:05,692
I help you discover the power of communication

3
00:00:05,692 --> 00:00:07,682
and the keys that unlock the doors to

4
00:00:07,682 --> 00:00:08,080
freedom.

5
00:00:08,574 --> 00:00:11,451
In every area of your life. Well, hello,

6
00:00:11,691 --> 00:00:14,568
my dear sweet friend fancy meeting you here.

7
00:00:14,728 --> 00:00:16,166
Thanks for joining me for a few minutes

8
00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:17,660
of your day. I am so

9
00:00:18,338 --> 00:00:19,216
unbelievably honored.

10
00:00:19,934 --> 00:00:22,249
Hey, I hope you're enjoying the quick connects.

11
00:00:22,488 --> 00:00:24,483
Those are the short little 1 minute or

12
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,207
so. Mini podcasts that I am pushing out

13
00:00:27,207 --> 00:00:28,796
to you each and every day just because

14
00:00:28,955 --> 00:00:30,623
I wanna make sure that we get to

15
00:00:30,623 --> 00:00:33,404
connect daily. And the longer forms take a

16
00:00:33,404 --> 00:00:35,725
little bit longer to do for me because

17
00:00:35,884 --> 00:00:38,033
I wanna really carve out the time and

18
00:00:38,033 --> 00:00:40,262
sit down and be intentional and communicate with

19
00:00:40,262 --> 00:00:43,063
you effectively, and, you know, just really talk

20
00:00:43,063 --> 00:00:44,492
from the heart. So I gotta a carve

21
00:00:44,492 --> 00:00:46,081
out time to do that, which I'm happy

22
00:00:46,081 --> 00:00:48,941
to do. And then move it off into

23
00:00:48,941 --> 00:00:50,927
podcast land where you get to hear to

24
00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:53,016
just So I will get a few long

25
00:00:53,016 --> 00:00:56,129
form episodes to you weekly, most definitely. But

26
00:00:56,129 --> 00:00:58,764
my quick connects, that I am committed to

27
00:00:58,764 --> 00:01:00,440
getting to you each and every single day.

28
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,869
So we can keep on connecting. Also, I'm

29
00:01:03,869 --> 00:01:05,694
really enjoying my time with John

30
00:01:06,806 --> 00:01:08,965
Success paradigm coach so I hope you are

31
00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:10,636
2 of those episodes get a lot of

32
00:01:10,636 --> 00:01:12,386
great feedback as well because it's T and

33
00:01:12,545 --> 00:01:14,931
I, having a conversation. He's got decades worth

34
00:01:14,931 --> 00:01:17,520
of victory experience now in personal mastery

35
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:20,851
and leadership growth and development. And so he

36
00:01:20,851 --> 00:01:23,859
really does know how to hone in on

37
00:01:24,138 --> 00:01:26,769
specific skills that we need to really grow

38
00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:28,682
whatever it is we're working on our projects,

39
00:01:28,921 --> 00:01:31,710
our businesses, our organizations, our companies, our team,

40
00:01:32,124 --> 00:01:34,379
our family is you name it. And so

41
00:01:34,438 --> 00:01:36,114
he's got a very unique style. I mean,

42
00:01:36,193 --> 00:01:38,507
he's from out east, you know? And so

43
00:01:38,507 --> 00:01:40,195
he can hear it in his talk. And,

44
00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:43,135
of course, I'm from the Midwest. And so

45
00:01:43,135 --> 00:01:45,756
when I was in radio nationally, when I

46
00:01:45,756 --> 00:01:47,685
was spend time down south, I would have,

47
00:01:47,844 --> 00:01:49,765
my southern friends make fun of the way

48
00:01:49,924 --> 00:01:51,545
I said things like so

49
00:01:51,924 --> 00:01:52,644
or roof.

50
00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:56,168
Okay? With the o sound. And so when

51
00:01:56,327 --> 00:01:58,153
I hear John, I sometimes get a kick

52
00:01:58,153 --> 00:01:59,821
out of the way that he says certain

53
00:01:59,821 --> 00:02:02,123
words. So the variety is the spice of

54
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,206
life So it's nice to hear somebody else,

55
00:02:04,365 --> 00:02:06,434
you know, in conversation and to really be

56
00:02:06,434 --> 00:02:07,867
able to hand you something that I think

57
00:02:07,867 --> 00:02:08,924
is really valuable.

58
00:02:09,299 --> 00:02:11,643
In terms of, How we can

59
00:02:12,097 --> 00:02:14,641
remove really bad habits. We've got that whole

60
00:02:14,641 --> 00:02:17,821
series, the 8 toxic behaviors that destroy leaders.

61
00:02:18,074 --> 00:02:19,981
If you have not caught that episode, yet,

62
00:02:20,219 --> 00:02:21,570
please go back and take a listen, you're

63
00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:23,158
gonna love it. And then as we go,

64
00:02:23,397 --> 00:02:25,542
we will continue to have John on, about

65
00:02:25,542 --> 00:02:27,304
once a month or so. If so loving

66
00:02:27,304 --> 00:02:29,927
that. Now today, I wanna chat with you

67
00:02:29,927 --> 00:02:32,493
because we are, of course, here to

68
00:02:32,867 --> 00:02:33,367
master...

69
00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:36,461
Communication. And so in order to be an

70
00:02:36,461 --> 00:02:38,212
effective communicator, there are a couple of things

71
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,520
I wanna touch on today. I've got 3

72
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,908
quick connects in a row that you'll be

73
00:02:42,908 --> 00:02:44,912
hearing now that are gonna dive into the

74
00:02:44,912 --> 00:02:46,184
different levels of listening.

75
00:02:46,741 --> 00:02:48,889
We've talked about listening before, but I have

76
00:02:48,889 --> 00:02:50,891
not drilled down deeply into 3 diff... Different

77
00:02:50,891 --> 00:02:53,033
levels of listening. So I'm going to do

78
00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:54,937
that on these quick connects coming up. There

79
00:02:54,937 --> 00:02:56,524
are 3 in a row that are gonna

80
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,445
unpack level 1 level to a level 3

81
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,752
listening? Why is it so imperative to be

82
00:03:00,752 --> 00:03:01,547
a good listener?

83
00:03:02,422 --> 00:03:04,903
Because if you can get to practice sing

84
00:03:04,903 --> 00:03:07,450
and mastering level 3 listening, my friend your

85
00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:09,064
world will change

86
00:03:09,838 --> 00:03:12,146
because you will be able to meet needs

87
00:03:12,146 --> 00:03:15,658
and hear what people are actually saying so

88
00:03:15,658 --> 00:03:18,431
fast, you're gonna become incredibly effective. You can

89
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,808
hear what's not being said. You can read

90
00:03:20,808 --> 00:03:22,804
between the lines And at that point when

91
00:03:22,804 --> 00:03:24,389
you're engaging that type of listening,

92
00:03:24,944 --> 00:03:27,083
your mind is hearing and processing the words,

93
00:03:27,321 --> 00:03:29,120
but you are also on an un unconscious

94
00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:31,706
level picking up the body language, the nuances,

95
00:03:31,865 --> 00:03:35,207
the pauses, the hesitation, the s, if those

96
00:03:35,207 --> 00:03:37,753
exist, and it's gonna teach you a ton

97
00:03:37,753 --> 00:03:40,715
about what this person is actually really communicating.

98
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:43,845
So that's key. Active listening is a key

99
00:03:44,062 --> 00:03:46,076
component to being a master

100
00:03:46,611 --> 00:03:48,697
communicator. It's not just about what we're speaking.

101
00:03:48,936 --> 00:03:51,640
It's also about our listening. Something else that's

102
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,004
really important is clarity. So clear

103
00:03:55,379 --> 00:03:59,233
communication is concise it doesn't engage or involve

104
00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:03,344
mixed messages. It's clear and it's consistent. So

105
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,831
in in being so, it avoids

106
00:04:06,539 --> 00:04:07,039
siri

107
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:11,415
complexities or jargon or rabbit trails. So when

108
00:04:11,631 --> 00:04:13,675
we are in a leadership role and

109
00:04:14,113 --> 00:04:16,661
communicating. We wanna be really mindful of our

110
00:04:16,661 --> 00:04:19,471
audience so that we can adjust our message

111
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,395
accordingly. Rabbit trails are perfect.

112
00:04:22,809 --> 00:04:25,937
And fine. When we're really really casually

113
00:04:26,393 --> 00:04:29,021
talking, you know, amongst friends. We're not trying

114
00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:31,545
to make major decisions, we're not affecting it

115
00:04:31,664 --> 00:04:32,723
other people's lives

116
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:36,212
necessarily. We're just catching up. It's relaxed, it's

117
00:04:36,212 --> 00:04:39,338
casual, and it's pretty low stakes, but when

118
00:04:39,338 --> 00:04:41,089
we're talking in front of a team or

119
00:04:41,089 --> 00:04:43,636
we're making a presentation or a pitch or

120
00:04:43,636 --> 00:04:46,899
making a really important family decision or a

121
00:04:46,899 --> 00:04:51,064
really important business decision. Clarity of conscience is

122
00:04:51,064 --> 00:04:53,064
key. Oh. Did you like the iteration there?

123
00:04:53,305 --> 00:04:55,625
Say that 3 times fast? Conscience and clarity

124
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:56,024
is key.

125
00:04:56,759 --> 00:04:58,916
So even if we've got a bullet point

126
00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:01,553
in our minds, the 3 most important points

127
00:05:01,553 --> 00:05:04,191
we wanna get across, do that. Take the

128
00:05:04,191 --> 00:05:06,444
time to do that. Trust me. It will

129
00:05:06,444 --> 00:05:09,084
be worth it when people can comprehend what

130
00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,485
you're saying because you are clear and concise.

131
00:05:11,725 --> 00:05:14,059
You're not jumbled. You're not mixed. Then they

132
00:05:14,059 --> 00:05:16,397
can trust you because there's a credibility

133
00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:19,572
in that type of communication. Alright. Something else

134
00:05:19,572 --> 00:05:21,410
we're gonna pay attention to, of course, we're

135
00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:22,702
gonna talk a little bit more about as

136
00:05:22,702 --> 00:05:24,932
we go as body language and tone.

137
00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,105
So body language, it's

138
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,588
about 90 percent of communication when you are

139
00:05:30,588 --> 00:05:34,595
face to face. Nonverbal cues, facial expression, tone

140
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,773
of voice. They sometimes

141
00:05:37,152 --> 00:05:38,430
convey more than the words.

142
00:05:39,084 --> 00:05:41,317
In fact, very often, they can convey more

143
00:05:41,317 --> 00:05:42,992
than the words. Take a look at Sarcasm,

144
00:05:43,072 --> 00:05:44,906
for example. You can say the same words,

145
00:05:45,146 --> 00:05:47,698
2 different ways and have them literally mean

146
00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:48,575
quite the opposite.

147
00:05:48,988 --> 00:05:53,115
Right? Nice job is different from nice job.

148
00:05:53,432 --> 00:05:56,185
You hear the difference. Right? And we've right

149
00:05:56,383 --> 00:05:58,452
pretty much all done this. I know I

150
00:05:58,452 --> 00:05:59,508
have Na

151
00:06:00,202 --> 00:06:01,179
communication. It's

152
00:06:02,031 --> 00:06:04,511
technique by which we are saying something that

153
00:06:04,511 --> 00:06:06,577
we really don't wanna say. Right? When we're

154
00:06:06,577 --> 00:06:08,167
snarky or sarcastic,

155
00:06:08,723 --> 00:06:11,998
it means we are communicating something, usually of

156
00:06:11,998 --> 00:06:14,542
displeasure, but we really don't wanna get into

157
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,371
the nitty gritty of saying it. And so

158
00:06:16,371 --> 00:06:18,916
it's kind of our easy way out. Of

159
00:06:18,916 --> 00:06:21,398
being honest sometimes and being really clear. But

160
00:06:21,398 --> 00:06:23,552
this is key body language and tone are

161
00:06:23,552 --> 00:06:26,344
going to convey so much more in most

162
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,669
cases than the words themselves here so we

163
00:06:28,669 --> 00:06:31,210
wanna really tune in, hone in and be

164
00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:34,069
great at reading the body language and decipher

165
00:06:34,069 --> 00:06:36,395
the tone. 1 of the things that really

166
00:06:36,531 --> 00:06:39,020
master community educators and leaders tend to do

167
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:42,699
is they empathize and understand. So in that

168
00:06:42,699 --> 00:06:45,759
case, we are seeking to understand before being

169
00:06:46,554 --> 00:06:48,792
stood. We're not as concerned with hammering our

170
00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:52,627
point over everybody else's heads that empathetic piece

171
00:06:52,627 --> 00:06:55,618
or component bridges the gap and communication by

172
00:06:55,752 --> 00:06:59,160
acknowledging and respecting other people's perspectives. Now listen,

173
00:06:59,397 --> 00:07:01,854
if you're in charge, and you've got a

174
00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:04,179
team and it and team needs to implement

175
00:07:04,179 --> 00:07:06,890
your mission or follow through on your requests,

176
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:10,340
then you're listening and you're em emphasizing, and

177
00:07:10,478 --> 00:07:12,408
you're also making the various strong point that

178
00:07:12,408 --> 00:07:14,881
you appreciate the feedback and at this point

179
00:07:14,881 --> 00:07:16,956
in time, this is the direction we're gone,

180
00:07:17,355 --> 00:07:19,270
and here's how it needs to be executed.

181
00:07:19,764 --> 00:07:22,178
K? And then there's that whole feedback in

182
00:07:22,396 --> 00:07:25,188
confirmation. Now the last episode that John Bet

183
00:07:25,188 --> 00:07:25,826
and I did,

184
00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:30,067
We rarely drilled down heavily on this concept

185
00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:32,297
of feedback. We talked at length about how

186
00:07:32,297 --> 00:07:34,527
to give feedback, and we talked at length

187
00:07:34,527 --> 00:07:37,735
about how to receive feedback, both are equally

188
00:07:37,793 --> 00:07:38,293
important

189
00:07:38,683 --> 00:07:41,468
they look very differently, but if you can

190
00:07:41,468 --> 00:07:44,093
become a really good feedback receiver, then you

191
00:07:44,093 --> 00:07:46,479
can become very, very good and effective at

192
00:07:46,479 --> 00:07:48,963
giving feedback, because you know how it feels

193
00:07:48,963 --> 00:07:51,113
when somebody comes to you and is looking

194
00:07:51,113 --> 00:07:53,583
for you to change something or modify something,

195
00:07:53,901 --> 00:07:56,052
and they're coming to you in various ways.

196
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:58,459
I mean, let's face it not everybody has

197
00:07:58,459 --> 00:08:01,352
mastered the art of communicating and can effectively

198
00:08:01,410 --> 00:08:04,441
or even kindly come and bring forth a

199
00:08:04,441 --> 00:08:06,595
request. Usually it looks more like a complaint.

200
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:09,657
And that can be really challenging to receive

201
00:08:10,191 --> 00:08:13,215
because our initial tendencies to become very what.

202
00:08:13,772 --> 00:08:14,090
Yet.

203
00:08:14,741 --> 00:08:18,240
Defensive because we wanna protect. So when somebody

204
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,228
comes at us, we have to be able

205
00:08:20,228 --> 00:08:22,159
to move into the mind frame

206
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:23,447
or mindset

207
00:08:23,824 --> 00:08:25,657
of this is not personal.

208
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:29,105
This is just feedback and become that detached

209
00:08:29,323 --> 00:08:31,332
observer to whatever it is that they're going

210
00:08:31,332 --> 00:08:33,009
to bring our weight. Because remember, you can

211
00:08:33,009 --> 00:08:35,005
always take it or you can leave it.

212
00:08:35,563 --> 00:08:37,001
And 1 of the things that John and

213
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,795
I mentioned briefly. Don't believe this is true.

214
00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:42,993
We are really not defensive about something we

215
00:08:42,993 --> 00:08:45,538
don't believe is true. Right. So if somebody

216
00:08:45,538 --> 00:08:46,970
came to you and said something totaled,

217
00:08:47,624 --> 00:08:50,261
absurd. You would kind of just maybe say,

218
00:08:51,779 --> 00:08:52,099
okay.

219
00:08:53,058 --> 00:08:55,136
And laugh it off. Right? You wouldn't take

220
00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:57,230
it seriously. You wouldn't be a upset, you

221
00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:59,949
would roll your eyes or even laugh because

222
00:08:59,949 --> 00:09:01,629
you you think it's silly and absurd. And

223
00:09:01,629 --> 00:09:03,389
you know. You're not at all concerned that

224
00:09:03,389 --> 00:09:03,949
it may be true.

225
00:09:04,842 --> 00:09:07,394
When we get defensive, I think we do

226
00:09:07,394 --> 00:09:09,786
that because it is possible that we are

227
00:09:09,786 --> 00:09:12,099
concerned that the person is saying something that

228
00:09:12,099 --> 00:09:14,109
we deep down know is true, but we

229
00:09:14,109 --> 00:09:15,947
really don't wanna deal with. We don't wanna

230
00:09:15,947 --> 00:09:19,084
face or we don't like. And so the

231
00:09:19,223 --> 00:09:21,541
knee jerk responses to just get real defensive

232
00:09:21,541 --> 00:09:22,740
and to put up that wall and say,

233
00:09:23,394 --> 00:09:26,345
whoa what me no. You at the wrong

234
00:09:26,345 --> 00:09:29,297
person. You're thinking of yourself or something like

235
00:09:29,297 --> 00:09:33,167
that. But if we sense that we're feeling

236
00:09:33,226 --> 00:09:36,763
defensive about what they're saying. The very first

237
00:09:36,982 --> 00:09:39,380
question we must be mature enough to ask

238
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,794
is is it possible that this is true.

239
00:09:42,034 --> 00:09:44,754
Just asking. Is it possible? Not saying it

240
00:09:44,754 --> 00:09:48,195
is. I'm just asking if it's possible that

241
00:09:48,195 --> 00:09:50,925
it's true. And entertaining the idea that if

242
00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:53,239
I've heard this before, it may be something

243
00:09:53,398 --> 00:09:55,154
I wanna take a look at. So just

244
00:09:55,154 --> 00:09:57,481
these couple of points I've mentioned are gonna

245
00:09:57,481 --> 00:10:00,346
really keep moving us into these expansive and

246
00:10:00,346 --> 00:10:03,928
master ways to communicate. Impact of good communication

247
00:10:03,928 --> 00:10:07,787
remember can never be underestimated it enhances our

248
00:10:07,925 --> 00:10:10,955
relationships. It improves our teamwork work. It foster

249
00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:13,448
a positive work environment, it reduces

250
00:10:13,825 --> 00:10:15,282
misunderstandings and conflicts.

251
00:10:15,594 --> 00:10:18,136
While it also promotes trust, it helps us

252
00:10:18,136 --> 00:10:20,678
to work better with others. So whether it's

253
00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:21,337
in personal

254
00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:22,639
relationships or

255
00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,849
professional settings, mastering the art of good communication

256
00:10:25,849 --> 00:10:28,465
can lead to literally greater success in fulfillment,

257
00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:31,339
which is why I always say, communication is

258
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:34,707
currency. It is the key that unlocks freedom

259
00:10:34,765 --> 00:10:37,155
in every area of our life because we

260
00:10:37,155 --> 00:10:39,759
are always communicating even if we're not

261
00:10:40,357 --> 00:10:41,494
fantastic auditors.

262
00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:42,768
We are

263
00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:46,170
communicating through our words through our writings, through

264
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:49,130
our artwork, through our nonverbal verbal expressions. I

265
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:50,641
mean, look at dance, have you ever been

266
00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:52,868
to a Ballet. If you're somebody who enjoys

267
00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:55,492
that, then no nobody says a word, they

268
00:10:55,492 --> 00:10:58,130
just simply dance they move their bodies in

269
00:10:58,130 --> 00:11:00,671
certain ways that puts chills up and down

270
00:11:00,671 --> 00:11:02,760
our spine because it's so magnificent

271
00:11:03,134 --> 00:11:05,278
in it. Speak to strength and beauty and

272
00:11:05,278 --> 00:11:08,872
creativity. So We are always communicating, let's master

273
00:11:08,872 --> 00:11:10,702
it so that we can be so impactful

274
00:11:10,702 --> 00:11:13,249
and effective. Alright. Thank you. As always my

275
00:11:13,249 --> 00:11:15,335
friend for listening so much love to you,

276
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:17,167
and I can't wait to see you on

277
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,043
the next episode.

278
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,991
Thanks so much for listening to the Stephanie

279
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:23,700
Stevens show. Please remember to subscribe so we

280
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,863
can stay connected, and you never miss an

281
00:11:25,863 --> 00:11:26,738
episode of the podcast.

282
00:11:27,374 --> 00:11:28,886
Oh, and if you haven't left a rating

283
00:11:28,886 --> 00:11:31,208
yet, please be sure to do so. It

284
00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:33,840
helps incredible people like you find the podcast.

285
00:11:34,239 --> 00:11:35,435
We'll see you on the next episode.